Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
16. Education
120 Plays16 days ago
In this episode of This Is Autism, we sit down with Bea, a passionate young autistic advocate, to talk about her experiences navigating the education system. From early school years through to sixth form, Bea reflects honestly on the challenges she faced — friendship struggles, masking, anxiety and burnout.
Bea shares how a lack of early understanding and support affected her mental health and school attendance, but also how finding the right environment, such as Newcastle Bridges School, helped her rebuild confidence and feel truly supported. She opens up about the pressures of fitting in, internalised ableism, and the emotional toll of constantly having to explain and justify her needs in order to access support.
The conversation also covers key themes like autistic burnout, the importance of safe spaces and special interests, and the role families play in supporting young people through education. Bea’s story highlights both the systemic issues within mainstream education and the transformative power of inclusive, compassionate approaches that value autistic voices.
Whether you’re a parent, professional, or autistic young person yourself, Bea’s journey offers insights into what needs to change to make education truly inclusive.
Recommended
Transcript
Childhood Friendship Issues and Anxiety
00:00:06
Speaker
I see it appear like a normal kid but i had a lot of friendship issues and I didn't exactly fit in. I think started developing more anxiety naturally, you know, as you do in puberty, so I became more self-conscious about the way I acted.
00:00:23
Speaker
Unless you've experienced it, it's so hard to to really know what that feels like.
Introduction to 'This is Autism' Podcast
00:00:30
Speaker
Hi and welcome to This is Autism, the podcast from the Northeast Autism Society. My name is Kerry Highcock and I'm the Family Development Manager here at the charity. In this episode, we're going to be talking about autism and education, what works, what doesn't and what needs to change.
Meet Bea: An Autistic Advocate
00:00:47
Speaker
And I'm joined by Bea, a young autistic advocate who's going to share her experiences to help us understand how to create more inclusive school environments.
00:00:58
Speaker
Bea will be reflecting on her own time in education, challenges she faced and the support that she wishes she had. We'll also explore important topics like masking, authenticity, and how we can better support autistic people to thrive in school.
00:01:12
Speaker
Firstly, thank you so much for being here. Could you just start by telling us a little bit about yourself? Of course. So, like you said, I'm B. I'm in year 12 and 6 form. Or about to go to year 13.
00:01:23
Speaker
Still getting used to that. But I got elected into Newcastle Youth Council last year. um and that's where I've started doing some more like advocacy work. But I've been pretty much interested in it since I got diagnosed in 2021. yeah. Lovely.
00:01:37
Speaker
So obviously we're here to talk about education today, Bea, I guess just to start, could you just tell us a little bit about your experiences of the education system? Of course.
Primary School: Missed Signs of Autism
00:01:47
Speaker
So um obviously and in primary school, I didn't really have any issues. So it's difficult because I see a bit of pain like a normal kid, but i had a lot of friendship issues and I didn't exactly fit in but I myself didn't really notice this um because I was just you know I wasn't really masking very much you know was kind of just oblivious and then i had a lot of issues at home though with meltdowns quite violent meltdowns and my mum would often tell school and they would be like well she's a good kid in school so she's fine and it's like well yes but I'm still having issues at at home so
00:02:30
Speaker
it was I do think they could have picked that up earlier for me, which would have been a lot better, especially given what they were told. um But I don't think they had a very good understanding of autism. I remember there was a girl in my class who was autistic and people made fun of her quite a bit and there often there really wasn't very much understanding at all and even I made fun of her you know because I didn't know what autism was I just saw all the other kids make fun of them and and so it was definitely ah difficult but honestly I don't remember most of the bad parts because i was so oblivious that I just was kind of living my best life unmasked
00:03:15
Speaker
Then in secondary school, I had a a lot of issue with the transition.
Secondary School Transition Challenges
00:03:19
Speaker
Mostly, i've moved into a very big school, which wasn't too much of an issue for me, but definitely the overwhelm was locked.
00:03:28
Speaker
and the lack of transition support and also friendships were my main issue because you know ah you kind of assume you can stick with the same people and then people drift apart quite quickly or you get put in different bands so that you're not in the same classes and I think I was given less understanding by other kids because i stuck out more.
00:03:59
Speaker
um And then I also, i think, started developing more anxiety naturally, you know, as you you do in puberty. So I became more self-conscious about the way I um which definitely was why I think I have more positive memories of primary school because I was less anxious, even though I did stick out.
Impact of COVID-19 on Education
00:04:19
Speaker
um And then obviously COVID. So year seven, ah don't think i had... ah for Yeah, I didn't have a full year seven because I went to year seven in 2019.
00:04:32
Speaker
And then that was September 2019. And then obviously lockdown March 2020. So I never had a full year. Year seven and so year eight was not very full either because it was a lot of in school, out of school, in school, out of school. And even when we were in school, we were all kept into one department our whole year.
00:04:56
Speaker
So we just have classes in this one department, kept separated from all the other years. um And that was very overwhelming because there was not enough space in one department for, what, like 300 kids?
00:05:09
Speaker
So it was just ridiculous. um And the same thing happened in year nine, ah even though it slowed down a little bit. But when home learning happened,
00:05:21
Speaker
ah My school didn't do any, we did like one or two like Zoom lessons, Teams lessons, but that was it. And barely anyone attended them and they weren't very good because the teachers had no idea how to do it. You don't get trained for online learning when you become a teacher.
00:05:41
Speaker
So it was very much new for everyone. And so they just kind of put all the PowerPoints they'd had prepared on the OneDrive. and said, just get on with this as if you would at normal school.
00:05:53
Speaker
But I was 13, 12, 13, 14. twelve thirteen fourteen I did not have the capacity to teach myself all this content. And so I definitely tried my best. I definitely tried to.
00:06:08
Speaker
and I bet, and tons of kids probably didn't try at all, which is so fair because it was so and ah so much of an overwhelming experience. No one really, wanted to be having to deal with work at that time.
00:06:20
Speaker
um And when you don't have the discipline of school, it makes it a lot more difficult as well. But because I did try so hard, and it was just impossible, it was impossible for person kid to so to teach myself all my subjects and do it within the time of like a school day.
00:06:41
Speaker
ah just couldn't keep up with it because I took longer and by the end of home learning I was freaking out because I'd barely got anything done. I tried at the start and then I fell off very quickly.
00:06:55
Speaker
And I remember getting emails from teachers that were vaguely threatening, being like, when you come back to school, you better have all this work done or else you're going to get detentions and so on.
Anxiety and Academic Pressure
00:07:07
Speaker
And then when you come back to school, no one actually cared. But then it was all this fear mongering just for nothing. So it was just a lot of anxiety for me.
00:07:18
Speaker
especially because up to that point I'd been like a perfect student so when I come back after Covid and I'm struggling to attend as much a lot of this starts to get a bit blurry for me because I you know when this kind of thing happens you know, brain just kind of blocks a lot of it out.
00:07:36
Speaker
So I don't know fully exactly when it started. i know it was around year or eight or year nine, but I stopped being able to attend school as much because over a lot of anxiety anxiety and burnout, which I didn't know at the time.
00:07:50
Speaker
And obviously when I first start missing school, I'm freaking out because I'm like, I've always been like a hundred percent attendance kid.
00:08:01
Speaker
Even when I was a little ill, I'd still go to school. It was very rare for me to not go to school. So it was ah definitely a big deal for me to be missing school. um And then when i ah I, was experiencing a lot of friendship issues over these years, is just simultaneously.
00:08:20
Speaker
I remember jumping from friend group to friend group because I would i was being bullied several times. I got cyber bullied and got death threats by some older kids.
00:08:34
Speaker
I made friends who were quite unhealthy for me and who spread rumours about me and, you know, other various other things that happened um until I basically had two friends left because it just and I was just very anxious and just insecure and um obviously starting to miss school made this a lot worse because ah i was even more blaming myself and the guilt was in
00:09:10
Speaker
immeasurable to be honest like um and then as a result my mum's also freaking out because she's kind of like I don't know deal with this and so she's kind of just assuming that it's because I'm just I just don't want to go to school and I'm just being a teenager even though we both know I'm autistic and I've never, there's always this idea in your head that I'm like, there's always an idea in my head that I was separate from those autistic people, which is stupid and ableist and silly, but think enough people don't talk about the internalised ableism that often happens for years after you get your diagnosis because you want to be like all the other kids.
00:09:57
Speaker
And so the idea that I'm you know, like the other autistic kids, then all the fact that I might do something wrong, wrong, you know, and school attendance and not attending and this pressure they put on you is so to so much pressure to attend school it's like fear-mongering and like if you don't attend school you're gonna do terribly and I place so I've never had a lot of academic pressure from my family but my academic pressure I just place on myself because I've always done well and so I want to do well and I want to do better than well even um and so it's definitely it was definitely very difficult for me and I just remember I don't remember much
00:10:44
Speaker
But I remember feeling a lot of guilt a lot of the time, mostly. Just a lot of blame and guilt on myself. um And I'd go through periods of feeling quite numb and some of feeling...
00:11:00
Speaker
you know After a while, you get used to it almost, which in itself is so almost a bad thing because by getting used to it, you're less likely to go to school. But if your body doesn't adjust, then, you know...
00:11:15
Speaker
you might, it's more like a survival instinct just go numb because if I were to be freaked out about every day I didn't go to school then I would never be able to function so it became one of those things that I just like slept through the days um and didn't do any work or anything I just kind of, and i'd and I'd say that I was trying to get into school.
00:11:41
Speaker
My mum would always be like, you're trying, right, you're trying, you haven't given up. And I'd be like, yes, um'm I'm trying, I'm trying to get to school. But I think realistically, I was trying.
00:11:52
Speaker
But there wasn't much trying to do because I was so burnt out. The trying made me more burnt out because I was placing pressure on myself. And so every time I wouldn't be in school, I'd be disappointed in myself. And then it's just a cycle to the point where my burnout cycle got so bad that I e ended up in year 10 just stopped trying at all.
00:12:18
Speaker
i I attended for, ah yeah year 10 was supposed to be my fresh start in my mind. I was like, I'm gonna go into year 10, I'm gonna do my GCSEs and I'm gonna, and I ended up going until, like, I went pretty strongly until maybe halfway through the second half term and then things went went downhill again and I was missing days and then weeks and then it just went on um and I'd attend a day every now and like now and again until I just stopped trying and honestly that was one of the best things in my life ah which
00:12:58
Speaker
you know, it took a lot of pressure off myself, but of course I was still having constant school meetings about them being like, what can we do? What can we do? What can we do?
00:13:09
Speaker
And it was well-meaning, but for me, that was worse than just saying, just kind of leaving me to it a bit, because obviously they can't just leave me to it.
00:13:22
Speaker
But just the constant asking me for a solution where it felt like if I had a solution that I wouldn't be here right now, I wouldn't be in this situation. And so it felt quite frustrating constantly being asked for the solution because I didn't know I was going through either.
00:13:42
Speaker
um And I just didn't have like the mental energy or capacity to try and figure it out. And there's this constant ask of, how can we help? How can we help? And I'm like, I don't know. like I genuinely just don't know.
00:13:56
Speaker
And then they put into what they like the call um early intervention, which was several years into a what... you know, into the issues I was having.
00:14:08
Speaker
My head of year did not know anything about autism. And if anything, we probably taught her more about autism. to And that's how she knows about it more about it today.
00:14:21
Speaker
i mean, she was using labels like high functioning and low functioning. like, oh she's high functioning so surely she's fine and it's like well no ah you can see i'm not fine um and so it meant that at this point when they put in early intervention they try everything and then they put an early intervention and and it feels a bit You know, obviously, this ingenuous because it's been years at this point.
00:14:51
Speaker
And if I feel like if if I'd had more support earlier and understanding of what I was going through, then maybe I wouldn't have continued to stressing myself out over it.
00:15:02
Speaker
m And then i was brought up the idea of going to Newcastle Bridges School, um which I don't exactly know what it's called. i don't know if it's a special school or if it's called something else um because it doesn't, I think it works.
00:15:22
Speaker
you don't have to um I believe you just have to experience anxiety with school and I but I do believe you have there's limited there are all limited spaces um because I remember um it being suggested to me um even just like a tour in school and my mum was very keen on it and i was like really against it and I was like last resort maybe because the idea of going to a special school and you know being different from other kids and accepting that help was like way too far for me because it was completely separating me and making me accept that I couldn't do mainstream at that moment and still do my GCSEs and so that took a long time to work through and even when I did go and do the tour
00:16:14
Speaker
and ended up going, it still was hard for me to grap grasp.
Support at Newcastle Bridges School
00:16:20
Speaker
I still struggle to grasp with the idea that my life and my education is not going to be the exact route that I imagined it was in primary school.
00:16:29
Speaker
that they teach you about um and I still struggle with that and Newcastle Bridges School genuinely was incredible and i couldn't thank them all for it to be honest because it helped me so much I just wish it was an opportunity more kids got and earlier because i I didn't necessarily um get it easily uh I remember them telling us how hard it was to get a place and how I didn't have an EHCP at the time and so what happened was i went through this is probably not very good explanation because it was how it was explained to my mum and then how my mum explained it to me as like 14 15 year old um and so I was told it was called lip uh it was like a
00:17:20
Speaker
to get funding almost like a grant sort of thing to get into Newcastle Bridges School and i remember my part of the application i could write a thing about you know why I needed the funding um and have my like written experience in there which was nice um But is, I'll be honest, I am lucky I am really passionate about writing and language because I wrote the most sob story, um depressing thing you've ever heard.
00:17:59
Speaker
just to get them to understand and have some sympathy. because And I genuinely believe that is what got me that funding because I think, and I'm lucky for that, um but the fact that you have to almost...
00:18:15
Speaker
embellish, you know, exactly what's happening. I didn't lie, obviously, but I definitely made it the most depressing thing you could have read just to get the support I wanted and needed.
00:18:31
Speaker
um And it was... And that's something I still have to do whenever I speak to SIPs or whenever I need support. I have to tell the same story and I'm in tears and they're...
00:18:43
Speaker
and they haven't kept record of this story, of of what's happened with me, and they have to get the whole thing from the start, and it's just so painful, because no one wants to have to relive that...
00:18:58
Speaker
It's one thing reliving it when you've had closure or reliving it with a therapist or a counsellor, but reliving it with someone whose job is not to comfort you, but to medically assess what diagnosis assessments or support you need feels it feels very clinical and and it's not very fun, but...
00:19:22
Speaker
All that kind of to summarize that I think it's really easy to talk about when it's something that I've worked through. ah It's easier for me to talk about what's happened in the past.
00:19:37
Speaker
um But I think I have to also be clear that I still struggle with school attendance. um And I'm and back at the school that was I was with before.
00:19:49
Speaker
um And they the teachers still don't have the best understanding of autism. But I and my mum together able to explain the bits that we know and it's still difficult because they still want to help really badly which is nice don't get me wrong and they have the best intentions but it's difficult for me to be like I've got the answer I don't have the answer I'm still struggling with this again think that's something to be really transparent about is that I'm still struggling with this to this day ah better because sixth form is a better environment for me
00:20:29
Speaker
But it it's still an issue I face, even though um ah may appear... i definitely am more mentally healthy, and I'm on anxiety medication, and which, by the way, I had to go private for.
00:20:45
Speaker
But that's a whole other thing, because SIPs will not give you um medication for that sort of thing. But yes, that is where I'm at now, and I'm about to do my A-levels next year, so...
00:20:58
Speaker
I'd be honest, you know, every time I speak to you, just, I love, I've got so, I've got so many questions from that, that 20 minutes that you've just spoke ah to to the audience. And I'm sure so many people have, but I guess could, and you might not know the answer to this, but I just wondered what was different for you when you went to somewhere like the bridges, as opposed to, you know, a specific mainstream provision, because you kind of described it as like,
00:21:25
Speaker
you know, it was it was incredible for you in terms of your mental health. What were the kind of the ingredients for that to happen, for that kind of shift? still want to be clear like I still struggled with school attendance at the Bridges think this the idea that I went and everything was perfect all of a sudden it definitely was not but they had the understanding to still support me through that and there was almost an expectation that they would they would still struggle but the fact that the classes were much much more i mean like maybe 10 maximum to a class um you get to know everyone in your class even if you're not the biggest fan of everyone in your class
00:22:04
Speaker
there's kind of an understanding there, mutual understanding. um The teachers are just so fun to have a chat with, you know, and that's what matters a lot to me, the kind of ability to have an informal chat with a teacher and be like,
00:22:22
Speaker
you know, this is what I'm experiencing right now and then being like, okay, this is how I can help you. um Rather than for me being formal provisions in place, that's what's best for me.
00:22:34
Speaker
And the fact that they were able to support that is just really helpful. And I go back now to this day and they still remember me and they're so excited to see me and when I was only there for year and some people that were there like for all of secondary school um but no matter how long you went there they'll still be so excited to see you or you'll see kids leaving after school and they'll be shouting after them telling them to enjoy
00:23:06
Speaker
a concert they're going to this weekend or something specific that they've talked about it's it's personal and they care about you you don't just feel like a number you actually feel like a part of like a community and it's it's just really nice it's lovely to hear absolutely lovely and we're going to take a short break now and then come back and speak a little bit more to be um and cover topics such as masking and burnout which you know i just want to remind the audience that can be quite difficult to hear and discuss um so we'll see you in a moment hi while we're on a quick break i thought i'd tell you a little bit more about the family development service here at the northeast autism society the family development services provides support for families pre during and after diagnosis and includes a variety of services including our parent toddler groups
00:23:56
Speaker
autism hubs, workshops for families, a dedicated enquiry line and our resource site as well, which can be found at the Family Resource site on the North East Autism Society website.
Family Development Service Overview
00:24:07
Speaker
So if you go to www.ne-as.org.uk and go along to the Family Development site, you can find all the information there. Hi everyone, welcome back to This Is Autism. We're here today talking with Bea about autism and education.
00:24:24
Speaker
and So Bea, I just wanted to, you know and i know i you know I appreciate this could be a difficult topic for you to just to discuss um and also for our listeners to hear. and but We spoke in the first part about burnout and I just wondered, how would you define burnout?
00:24:43
Speaker
I think, yeah, it's definitely difficult one. um I think it depends on the person, to be honest. um But for me, it was...
00:24:54
Speaker
being tired of everything and everything feeling pointless almost, losing a lot of hope and feeling quite numb at times. And it might sound similar. i've I've noticed for me autistic burnout sounded quite similar to depression.
00:25:13
Speaker
That's why I got assessed for depression. and But then again, I might have depression. I don't know because I'll be honest, ah SIPs is not very good at diagnosing ah young people with depression or anxiety. They tend to avoid it as much as possible. So it might be that I do have it, but As far as I know, i don't think I do.
00:25:36
Speaker
i think um it was a lot of tiredness and just exhaustion with myself and the world around me and the idea of just everything being so overwhelming. It's one of those things that's so difficult to explain unless you experience it, which is why I'm so...
00:26:02
Speaker
pro-autistic voices, you know, when talking about these topics, because unless you've experienced it, it's so hard to to really know what that feels like, because honestly, it's probably definitely one of the worst times in my life, which is why I struggled to remember it. so Yeah.
00:26:19
Speaker
and And I think, yeah, you know, I think you're absolutely right. It's definitely, a you know, a personal experience for so for everyone. who experiences that but you know in my role and I know a lot of families will be listening to this as well be I guess there's lots of young people like your younger self um who you know is in I guess what I would call complete burnout at the moment um you know and and school-based trauma and and things like that and I guess as professionals we try our best we are the ones in those meetings that say how can we help and I completely get what you're saying you just didn't know you you how do you know
00:26:57
Speaker
what help looks like when you're in that kind of, you know, mental state, I guess. and Do you have any, not advice, but tips for families that might be going through
00:27:12
Speaker
Yeah, I think ah my mum has been amazing. i She's made lots of mistakes and she beats herself up about it to this day. But the fact that she has put so much effort in and research and tries her best so much to do the right thing amazing.
00:27:32
Speaker
what may matters like we still have arguments um but we used to have I used to have really bad meltdowns where often I would i would hurt her and you know we've moved past that um and I still have meltdowns obviously ah still have they tend to be more panic attacks or shutdowns now um But we have been able to communicate how we feel and sometimes that's texting if it's easier oh um writing a letter um or, you know, just...
00:28:11
Speaker
having space to listen, but also not having space to not talk about it. Because sometimes, especially when you're at school, ah you're not at school, it can feel like it's all consuming, the fact that you're not at school.
00:28:27
Speaker
So especially you when i stoped when i stopped trying to go to school as much and just allowed myself time to to rest, what was really helpful was...
00:28:39
Speaker
Which admittedly my mum did struggle with because she was so worried about me. She wanted to talk about it and for me, I did not have the energy to talk about it.
00:28:50
Speaker
it was it It consumed me for years and all I wanted to do. was just enjoy the things I enjoy and engage in my special interests and not have to think about it. um I do think when you're not at school, it's definitely difficult because you have to you're with your family so much, which is obviously when you're with someone for that mo foot for that much time, you're going to have arguments and that's inevitable.
00:29:21
Speaker
The fact that, just remember that, I think everyone is trying their best and um I think it's really easy, especially just for the autistic young person, to forget that it can cause pain for the parents as well.
00:29:39
Speaker
um But... it's difficult because for me i very much absorbed emotion so when my mum was worried it made me extra worried and so sometimes we just needed time apart like a walk or something um and i think that was the important thing and I had my dad's house which was helpful to go away to but you know it's about having almost that safe space. So my room was my safe space for a long time and it still is.
00:30:13
Speaker
um I think it can be unhealthy sometimes with how much you do get into your special interests. I think special interests are often seen as this amazing, great thing.
00:30:26
Speaker
But for me, it was... So all consuming sometimes that it was a bit much for my health to the point where I was missing sleep just to engage in it.
00:30:37
Speaker
um And so and sometimes sometimes you spend often when you're in a mental state like that. I think it's often for parents now, it's hard to understand um because now, if when you're not at school engaging with friends, your life becomes online.
00:30:57
Speaker
And I think people don't realise that, ah which is good and bad because Being online probably saved me because I had friends online and that's not necessarily a bad thing and they were not necessarily paedophiles and I actually went on and met them and they are great people who are actually who they say they are.
00:31:20
Speaker
So I think sometimes there's a bit too much caution but at the same time it's difficult because as a parent you've not experienced that so it's difficult to know.
00:31:31
Speaker
But because my special interests ended up being majorly online, I did spend all lot of time online. And it was difficult for my mum because she didn't know what I was doing online.
00:31:43
Speaker
And she didn't know how to police that without me gang having a meltdown. Because the idea of taking away my phone at that time would have been detrimental to my mental health. It would have been...
00:31:55
Speaker
would have been silly my phone was probably my lifeline at that point even if that was unhealthy but the way the way to combat that isn't taking things away it's trying to understand and listen and not be allow them allow young people to talk about what they're doing on their phones because if they don't feel like you're judging them then they might just talk to you so I my mum knows the names of my friends in America because i just talk about them like they would be my in real life friends so you know and that's why i don't have issues online because well she doesn't have parental control
00:32:41
Speaker
she there's an open conversation there now and we've both made tons of mistakes but I think being allowing yourself to make the most mistakes is the important thing but then again I'm not an expert or anything we're still trying to figure it out yeah and that's why you know top tips not not necessarily advice it is it's great be but I think honestly you and your mum should probably write a book on this topic because you've You're obviously, you know, you're so insightful every every time I speak to you and I'm sure your mum is as
Recognizing and Managing Burnout
00:33:10
Speaker
well.
00:33:10
Speaker
and Do you, I mean, again, you you may not be able to identify the answer to this, but are you now better able to recognise the kind of the signs of burnout?
00:33:22
Speaker
coming on now? I'd say so. I think it's difficult to prevent it happening because sometimes I recognise them but I don't stop as much how much I'm doing because I still have an intense need to do everything and be like everyone else. So remember at the start of year 12 like...
00:33:42
Speaker
had my hand in every part. I was doing youth council, I was doing all these clubs, I was doing the magazine, I was doing everything. And obviously that wasn't good for me. and But I was so eager to do all these things. i i could tell that it was a bad idea because I also got a job at that time.
00:34:01
Speaker
because I wanted to work like all the other kids did and I wanted to do all that and then i I realized I can't be doing this and I had to quit my job and now I've just had to accept that I can't work during sixth form and that's okay, that's just not feasible for me ah if I want to focus and everything and I'm still kind of having the negative effects of that time that I did get a bit overwhelmed um because before that I was attending perfectly and then that's kind of when things got a bit rough for me but it's about being able to recover from that um and I've been able to I've been able to do that this time rather than I stopped before it got too bad and sometimes you have to give yourself a little bit of grace and be like
00:34:49
Speaker
it's going to take some time to recover from this and that's okay. um And sometimes even when you do notice, you notice a bit late and that's okay. It's the fact that you're noticing at all, which is the their improvement.
00:35:03
Speaker
And I think that's part of the difficulty so many families have because they often know their child needs that time to recover, but then they're in meetings where they're being requested to bring their child in for an hour a day etc etc and you know the parent bless them is kind of like oh I kind of feel like they need to be in school but I also have this feeling in that my child needs to recover yeah really hard place to be isn't it and it's like my mom always says uh she she she's having to had to adjust because she was
00:35:40
Speaker
parenting me as her mum parented her, which doesn't work because my mind it works differently and so she's had to adjust and obviously has made lots of mistakes and so have i um But ah because she's been able to adjust and and learn and that's the thing, right?
00:36:01
Speaker
Because she having to learn how to parent me differently that taking away my phone and things like that just didn't work. um And, you know, not giving me dinner when I struggled to eat something didn't work. um So things like that, like, you just have to, it's there's a big learning curve, definitely.
00:36:22
Speaker
We're both still learning. Absolutely. So and I guess just because I know our listeners will probably be really interested, but what, and you may again may not know this, but what are you planning for the future be? I mean, yeah where would you, what would you like to do if you know, because, you know, I'm 41 and I still don't know where I'm going now.
00:36:42
Speaker
Honestly, um to be honest, I've spent most of my life thinking about the future, I think. um And I still don't fully know. But what I do know is that I'm really passionate about making it so that autistic young people don't have to experience what I experienced and even when they do experience it it's not as emotionally devastating to their mental health um took me a long time to recover and I'm very I feel very socially behind a lot of ways um and while I'm lucky to have lots of friends now I wish I hadn't missed that core teenage experience because I feel like I I'm
00:37:26
Speaker
kind of I don't fit in because of that. um And, you know, you of course kids want to be around their friends. And so I think making it so... i think the education system as a whole needs a reform, to be honest. And so I would like to... I've considered...
00:37:44
Speaker
you know, well, i'm I'm currently actually writing my personal statement for university, so I'm hoping to go to university because I love learning. i don't know exactly what course, I'm still unsure.
00:37:56
Speaker
I'm really passionate about language and linguistics and Spanish because I've had a Spanish teacher since year seven who has been... she she has She herself has been diagnosed with ADHD now, but before she had no clue about autism.
00:38:13
Speaker
And yet she was still probably the most understanding teacher I had. um And honestly, has like really shared her love and passion for the languages to me.
00:38:24
Speaker
um But I'm also really interested in sociology and political sciences because of what I'm interested in, in terms of advocacy and policymaking and things like that. So I guess I'll just see where it takes me because I think I'm doing a lot of really good work with east Council right now and I'm hoping to continue that.
00:38:46
Speaker
um So, yeah, I'm really hoping to I'm thinking of maybe taking a gap year to continue some of the work I'm doing.
00:38:57
Speaker
But, you know, you never know where it takes you, to be honest. So we'll just have to see. Well, honestly look forward to ah to following your journey. And I'm sure you're going to be involved with Northeast Autism Society for many more years to come as well.
00:39:11
Speaker
and so thank you and so much for for being with us today Bea, thank you to all our listeners, if you've got any questions or comments about anything you've heard today please get in touch at info at ne-as.org.uk you can also follow the podcast on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and the podcast comes out every month and you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast from, so thank you so much and see all soon, thanks