Transcript
Speaker: Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Sluts Party Podcast. Today I have a very special guest on This is Ammo. Would you like to introduce yourself?
Speaker: Hi, thank you so much for having me. My name is Ammunition. People call me Ammo, and I am a professional perv of 20 years. um Professional perv encompasses all things like co-hosting pervacious events, pervacious performances, kinky education, and pro-dominant events, as well as pervading.
Speaker: So as Ammo discussed, she does a lot of different types of events, a lot of different type of work, especially when it comes to pro-doming. So today we're kind of going to go over what it's like being a pro-dom, what the benefits are of having an experience with a pro-dom, and kind of give you an overview of what that world is like. Because I think for people that are not in the kink world or people that are new to it or people that have not experienced a professional session, there may be a lot of curiosity of what that's like.
Speaker: um So to get right into it, let's just kind of get a basis of what ProDOMing is like. So I know this is a very high level question, but how would you describe a ProDOM session? I know they all differ. They're all, you know, depends on the kinks, depends on the person, but kind of at the highest level, what would a ProDOM session look like typically?
Speaker: At the highest level, um as you say, there are it's very very much like a fingerprint because each session is so different. It is a process, so to speak. um When you're looking for a ProDOM and you're new, you're going to go through a process of screening.
Speaker: so What that looks like is vetting. There will be things like a dom is going to ask you for an ID and check to see that you are who you say you are. There's going to be a deposit process to show that you have the financial ability to maintain the relationship that it takes for a pro dom. So we will be asking for deposits.
Speaker: And then there is the pre-negotiation process where we discuss what excites you, what you might be open to, and what are your absolute hard limits, things that you don't want to approach at all that you say, hey, we're not going to do this because consent is absolutely mandatory in our sessions. They go both ways. We also want to see if the DOM is correct.
Speaker: Privy to what you want to do, because sometimes someone will approach me and be like, I want to do brown showers. And I'm like, actually, I don't really do brown showers. Yeah. So I'm not going to yuck your yum, but I can also refer you to somebody that I know that's going to be able to help you with that.
Speaker: Yeah, somebody who specializes in that service um and making an arrangement where both people can derive some joy from it. Yeah, because we want everybody to enjoy it because you're going to know the difference if the Dom enjoys it and we're going to know the difference whether you feel us too as well. So we want it to be a collaborative experience.
Speaker: where um both people are putting in their energy in a positive way so that they can come out feeling seen. So ultimately what we want as the end goal is for our clients to feel seen and to feel safe, ah to have a safe place for them to be dangerous.
Speaker: Yes, exactly. So I know you discussed a little bit when it comes to preparing for a session, talking about boundaries, negotiating that, um the deposit process.
Speaker: Is there anything else that you would typically do to prep for a session? um it That also depends on the session. um There's a variety of things that I like to do. Personally, the day of, I like to maintain a really positive mindset.
Speaker: I like to keep myself relaxed. because that's the energy that I'm bringing into a session. um Even if it's going to be a low down crazy one where i they want me to be absolutely vicious, I still want to have that process happening just for the peace of my day. And if if The dominant doesn't have a space of their own. They would have to rent a space.
Speaker: So there are really in beautiful places basically in every city of the world that can host these type of experiences. So um someone like me would have to rent a space because I don't have my own space. And it has all the furniture, it has all the toys, and um they're typically fully equipped and with many working dominants working out of them.
Speaker: So that would be something that that we would have to do is rent the studio space first. And then when it comes to the type of person who seeks out a pro dom, I think a lot of people might have misconceptions about, you know, that these people must be crazy kinky or living these lives that we just can't even imagine. When actually when I talk to a lot of people, they're really just like you and me loving pretty regular lives. And this is something they're interested in. So what kind of variety of people do you see coming in? Oh, man. There is no...
Speaker: There's no one set thing. um But at first years ago, when I first started, it was mainly catered towards like straight men. But now over time, um the people have really it's it's everybody um people that you walk amongst that you work amongst high end executives, people who are CEOs to businesses, people that are um used to being the one who is making all the decisions for their company. Now, these are people who want to just release into submission They don't want to think anymore. They want to feel that subspace where someone else is thinking for them and kind of just taking the wheel.
Speaker: um And a lot of times it can be people in... multi-dynamic polycules. Yeah. Say like there'll be like a quad and then three of them are submissive and one is a dominant and then dominant wants to submit and feel that but yeah they don't want to do that to their submissives and their submissives don't know how to break out of that.
Speaker: mindset. So they'll come to me while their so submissives will wait obediently and watch on the side while their dominant gets to have fun and it can really just bring an explosive dynamic to their bedroom. It's really fun in that respect. And then also I wanted to bring up is ah ace people.
Speaker: the wolf These are people who, or celibate people, they they want that intimacy. They crave the intimacy of a session, but they don't want to have sex in it. So this is a great way where they can experience everything and then not have that sex conversation.
Speaker: It's just like, okay, I want to do this, this, this, and this. Hire a pro-dom, we'll take care of that for you. And you won't have to worry about that. Like we are the facilitators of somatic consensual experiences.
Speaker: Yeah, and I think that's a really interesting point about ace people because I think there's so many expectations put on them due to the norms of our society that, well, if we're doing kink, if we're cuddling, if we kiss from time to time, why can't we just have sex? And it's like, no, this person does not have the desire for that. um And that's their boundary. That's their hard limit. um So I love that. I do love that idea of being able to give someone access to that experience without having harsh expectations tied to it.
Speaker: um And then also on the point about people who are doms in their day-to-day life. or doms in their relationships experiencing subbing, I think it's a really, ah you know, i wouldn't say flat out necessary. Of course, it is necessary to like, okay, I'm getting into bondage. Let me experiment at myself, that sort of thing. But when it comes to experiencing a full-on kink session, i think it can be really interesting for people who are switches.
Speaker: to, but are typically in the dominant role to actually experience a full on kink scene um and really fully understand what it's like to be in subspace because we can explain all we want as the subs, this is what it's like and they can read on it and they can research.
Speaker: But i think it's just not quite the same as fully experiencing it. um But yeah, that was something really cool that happened early into us working together is one of my doms did a session with you and he was totally new to kink. um And we were starting to get into our kink dynamic.
Speaker: and he did a session with you and that was his first time subbing and now he's like fully a switch and you know goes both ways and everything but it was such a cool experience of getting to talk to him and be like what was it like how did it feel how did it feel mentally like what are your takeaways yeah i love it oh my god i see so many tops that come to me just for that purpose. They're like, you know, I wouldn't trust anybody else but someone who's a professional to top me because they know what they like.
Speaker: um And especially I love what you had to say about the switch situation, like to be able to dominate, you really should switch. And that's how I started for about 20 years, I did a lot of pro switching where I would be, a you know, ah ah that for 20 years, i would do pro switching. You would find me in kink videos, submitting to doms who are professionals. um being part of fetish demos for our vespertine events where we will provide like a whole scene of multiple doms so you can see how people are doing like experience sessions. Yeah. So people can learn from that and being able to experience all these different doms
Speaker: helped me take notes. I'm like, okay, I really liked how that happened. I really liked how she did this. And that molded me into the Dom that I am now, just from experiencing so many different Doms. And that's how people are always asking me, how can I be a Dom? What can I do to get into being a pro Dom? I get asked this almost every event. People even try to offer to pay me for the knowledge. I'm like, yeah just talk to me. I'm like,
Speaker: Take classes, go to the Leather Museum. They have free classes facilitated by a variety of different groups. They teach you things from like rope bondage to impact play to I even attended a workshop on consent to no consent.
Speaker: tele Yeah. Just all the different ways to learn about facilitating these relationships with people. And go to play parties, you know, talk to doms, meet doms.
Speaker: submit to DOMS. It's really the best way to get into it as just getting out there and experiencing it with your own hands. Aside from just all of the knowledge you can find online.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I totally agree. um Because that's really a lot of my kink knowledge. It's not just also through what I've learned, you know, reading, going to classes, being in kink spaces. It's also about, okay, what has helped me achieve that ultimate pleasure that I desire? you know and that's how funnily enough i actually put out a carousel on instagram like last year about how to spank just kind of the basics of like oh i you know how to prepare someone's body how to work your way up how to negotiate aftercare all those sorts of things um and you know my friend learned from that carousel so then when we were at a kink club they were like
Speaker: oh can i spank you and i was like oh my god the person who learned from my spanking tutorial gets to spank me it was super meta and i was like and they spanked me fast yeah right and um they spanked me and it was really good it was like a really satisfying session and i was like okay some of my notes and just oh touche then that's see that But yeah, I guess that brings us to our next question, which is what have you seen is the result of people doing a pro dom session?
Speaker: Oh, man. For me, what I love particularly, and this points more towards like doing sessions at public events, because I feel like that is therapy in itself. um When there's someone like a trans person that will go up to play with me and they feel comfortable enough to remove all their clothes.
Speaker: and um be seen to a whole group of people that they don't know. yeah And to have full consent of an experience where they're telling me this is what I want to do. This is what I don't want to do. And to see that dream given to them where they feel seen and just fully respected and to see them walk away and how they respond afterwards is really what I like to look at the most. It gives them confidence, I feel like, to approach other people at events. It gives other people confidence to approach them at events because they're showing out for them. So they're like, oh, wow, I saw you up there.
Speaker: Like it looks like we're into the same things. It's so, yeah it facilitat it facilitates the confidence so that they can approach other people to find like-minded people just like themselves. So to be able to be seen and then have that constantly rewarded, it helps them find community.
Speaker: It helps them find acceptance within themselves and within peers. There's just so many benefits. I could just go on and on. But these are like the main things that I see. And that also can be applied to private as well.
Speaker: Like just ultimately they're seeing us because they want to be seen for something. There's something inside of them that they want someone to say, oh I dig that. Yeah, we could play with that and they have no judgment.
Speaker: Yeah, I couldn't agree more, especially as someone who is a sex worker. You know, I don't do kinky sessions, but even just getting to talk to a client and, you know, they tell me something about their sexuality they've never told anyone. And I go, yeah, I know a lot of people that are into that. Yeah.
Speaker: it can be really fun and it's like oh my god light bulb goes off they're like wow really i found somebody who likes that i'm not a weirdo like no you're not you're not you're actually one of many it's totally cool with me yeah and that is what i love about having you at the events as well is you know we have so many people coming in um since it's such a variety of people there's many people where They're very kink curious, but they just haven't had the opportunity. so many, of you know, I feel like we're also just kind of in this era right now with online dating kind of throwing things off.
Speaker: um where but not a very anymore I feel like COVID and online dating together intersected in a way that has just messed with everybody's ability to communicate. And like, it's it's not cool. Yes, and it's just gotten to a point where I feel like every other day I'm seeing a post on Instagram, how do I find a dom? How do I find a sub? And, you know, that's what I love about having these sessions at the party is like, if you are a little shy, you know, go and get a session.
Speaker: If you haven't been able to experience impact before, this is a great way to do it with a professional very safely. And a sample of it so you don't have to yeah try a full hour. Exactly. Sometimes that full hour scares the shit out of somebody. And they they'll they'll chicken out. But if you try just like a little toe dip in the water, like, okay, how do you like that?
Speaker: Do you want to try it for eight hours? in That's just for the absolute real experienced players. But yeah, that's the goals that you can work to. Yeah. And then who knows, maybe it'll inspire someone walking nearby. oh this person looks cool. You know, it does. Oh, my God. Inspire them then, you know, like you said, now they have the confidence and they're like, OK, wow. One after another. It'll be like I saw this one. Oh, God, it was like a pure Renaissance movie in motion. This gorgeous leather person came up and played with me. It was like a lesbian situation. And then another gorgeous lesbian person that didn't know the first person.
Speaker: played with me and then they both noticed each other and then oh my god and then they hooked up at the party oh my god i love that i was like that is just music and they did it right in front of me so i could see i'm like oh that's just isn't that gorgeous i like i feel like that's our version of like sending your kid to preschool you know come on kids there you go mama's proud they're all grown up they grow up so fast don't they Yeah, because that's really me when, like, I see so many people come into the space that are, like, new to queerness, new to kink, new to sex positivity. And definitely with it, too. Yes, but then I'll see them, like, six months later just, you know, getting railed in the mattress room, and they're like, hey, Matt. And like yeah they got like I'm like, like, yeah, I'm here to see these three guys that I met. They bang. It's like, oh, shh.
Speaker: Damn, I feel so conservative sometimes. yeah
Speaker: oh But as we said, you know, you can always, if you attend the sluts party, if you attend ecstasy, you can get a session. But other than that, how can somebody go about finding a pro dom? Oh, man, we are out here. Let me just say um it can be anywhere in public from just noticing somebody who appears dominant. Like there was this one time I was on the train and one of my canes was sticking out. I was on the way to a session and this guy was like, so do you do that?
Speaker: I'm like, do what? He's like, what I see you doing? I'm like, what do you think? And then he took my own career. we take actually sessions so sometimes it's that but to officially find somebody you can go to things like fetish balls they are everywhere they are performing on stage they are available to talk to you can go to um cons you can go to things like sluts party because trust me a lot of prodoms attend And even munches where you can just talk to people, play parties, because they are going to be there too. They typically are going to arrive with a rack of toys and you will be able to tell them differently. So they're all over social media. It's just a matter of...
Speaker: Finding one, I feel like you should find somebody that energetically you mesh well with. Yeah. Like meet them first, I feel like. Because you can have a fetish or you you have a vision of what you want the don to look like and you want the session to be like, but you're not going to know what it's like until energetically you play together or you at least have a conversation.
Speaker: a consultation online first or meet somewhere for coffee, you're going to need to know if energetically you mesh because that will affect your session as well. If you're not communicating well together, if you're not just feeling the flow and the vibe, it'll carry through.
Speaker: Yeah, and I guess that brings up another thought for me because I see, you know, you see a lot on field and fet life and even just interacting with people in kinky spaces where there's a lot of people typically men, who are very loud and proud about what an experienced dom they are.
Speaker: do you have any advice about like red flags to look out for of someone who's saying, oh yeah, yeah, I'm ah i'm a pro dom, I can do a session versus somebody who's actually like you and has lived this life and has all this experience and knowledge and, you know, is really serious about safety and consent practices?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, first of all, I'd hate to say it, but if a man is a pro dom, I'm going to immediately have my um ears up. You know, my my radar is going to go up because unfortunately there have been quite a few people that I've seen over the decades that have taken advantage. um But what I'm going to look for in somebody trust.
Speaker: um trust Like who is trusting you? Who, like how many people trust you? Do you have a community of people behind you that can rely on you that can trust you? Do you have discussions? Are you open to constructive criticism? Do you have a positive reputation amongst other doms, especially women?
Speaker: um And that goes for all genders. Like if you're a woman, I'm also going to see if, are do you have collaborative energies with other women? Because As a pro dom, you're not going to learn anything on your own.
Speaker: You need to have community. You need to be taking classes no matter how far into it you are. So ultimately, i want to look for somebody that understands consent. um yeah are Do they have a model that they're going to communicate with you so that you know that um you're going to be safe in these sessions?
Speaker: um If they don't, that's going to be a red flag. If they say that people don't need safe words for me, that's going to be another red flag because they absolutely do need to be communicating those things. It all comes down to um Is it there?
Speaker: Are they there for their ego? Or are we there to facilitate a positive and healthy experience for the person that's going to be? That's what I'm looking for. Yeah, I love that language of like, is this to feed their ego versus is this them being passionate about providing a service and an experience in a healthy way? We used to call it Dom disease years ago where you let it get to your head and then you start operating out of entitlement. And that's where it starts separating the red flag people from the, oh, maybe we should play with this person instead people. Yeah.
Speaker: And I guess on that note, you know, speaking about consent, um as we mentioned, consent goes both ways, right? You know, I think about it as a performer, right?
Speaker: Okay, you just can't walk up to me and touch me and grab me. You have to ask first. So are there any big pieces of advice you would give in and regards to what to do in a session, how to act in a session versus what to absolutely not do?
Speaker: First of all, don't show up completely inebriated. um That's dangerous for everybody involved, not just yourself, but me, because we both don't know what you're going to do. And um I don't feel like you're most in tune with yourself when you are inebriated. And, you know, that's not to say that you can't have a couple cocktails because some people do need to absolutely do that. But make sure that you get consent first from your dominant that you're going to do that. um Please show up with good hygiene.
Speaker: Yes. um If you're showing up and you want to get pegged, clean the garage. yeah I hate to say that these are not basic things, but that people should know, but that it's it's not common sense. So at least just be courteous in that respect.
Speaker: Dominos and dominance do a lot for their sessions. They look good. They shine up their latex. They wear heels for you. They will facilitate this whole beautiful experience for someone to come in it with unbrushed teeth and an unwashed ass. Yeah, that's absolutely unacceptable.
Speaker: And please respect the process that doms have to do in order to vet you. If um you don't allow the vetting process, um that's also a red flag to us. Oh, yeah. We need to know that you're not a mass murderer. we need to know that you are who you say you are, and that you don't or that you're not somebody that is dangerous to us.
Speaker: You know, like there are all sort of authorities that we don't need to be having in our situations. And sometimes they investigate in that manner. We just have to be safe for ourselves. So if we ask you, yeah. yeah So if we ask you for a picture of your ID, please respect that. And if you don't jive with that, then maybe that's just not the mistress you need to be working with.
Speaker: Yes, exactly. So getting into the fun parts of it, as if this wasn't already so much fun, and what are some of the benefits of seeing a pro-dom?
Speaker: So the benefits of seeing a pro-dom, well, there are so many of them, whether you are seeing one privately or publicly, ultimately it gives you a place to feel seen without judgment, to also relieve stress, because let's be honest, like it it is a really stressful and pressure-filled world right now.
Speaker: And going into a space where you can completely tune that out and just think about the sensation and what senses are, senses are being stimulated.
Speaker: It's a really great way to relieve stress and, um, a therapeutic way. At many of us, many people look at us like we are a sex therapists because ultimately we are. We are providing a space where we can say, congratulate the things that other people are just shunning.
Speaker: So it's a safe place to show you all the things that maybe you had shame about and we can celebrate them. So a place to be seen and appreciated in a way.
Speaker: the praise kink alone like there's just so many people that respond well to what down work is um i'm having a brain fart we'll have to stop it at that one point yeah i think i also think a lot about the type of client you described to you know perhaps maybe a cis man who has to be very dominant in their day-to-day life in their career and has that gendered expectation put on them and how meaningful it can be to just drop that weight you know absolutely and um and sometimes famous people i can't say what names or who yeah because you know we respect privacy around here but there are just so many people that don't want to be who they are they they want to be something else
Speaker: They want to be a nasty pig for an hour. They don't want to be a big boss worrying about hundreds of people. They don't want to have to worry about the next place they need to film or being recognized at a party for being weird.
Speaker: um It's just ah a place where they can feel seen in a different way, where they can forget who they are. Because sometimes you need to forget who you are. I get it. And if you want to attend a public party, but you are also afraid of being recognized, just wear a rubber hood and a catsuit.
Speaker: Plenty of people do that. And then they're able to experience the very same benefits of public play and then not be recognized. Yeah, I'm going to agree more. All right. Well, this has been an amazing episode. I'm so excited for people to get some insight into this world and learn more, not just about the kink world, but about the professional kink world. So for people who are interested and you know, seeing you, seeking out your services, where are some places they can find you?
Speaker: You can find me all over the city of Chicago performing, stripping, burlesquing, but also most importantly, you can find me at Ecstasy. and you can also find me at Vesper Teen Chicago, where I have been co-hosting a Chicago's longest play party for queer women. trans and non-binary people, which is, we have a Facebook page that you can find us to join the club.
Speaker: We do those events quarterly. So if you would like to learn more about that, please visit us there. And thank you so much for having me. It was really great talking to you about kink and all of the fun benefits of it.
Speaker: Yes. Thank you so much. All right. We'll see you next time.
