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Mental Illness & Depression
222 Plays7 years ago
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Transcript
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Introduction to Bigger Talks & Sponsorship
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Toyota, let's go places.
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Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger is brought to you free today by Trucar.
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Podcast One presents Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger, the show that brings together unexpected guests for unexpected conversations.
00:00:56
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Join The Bachelorette's Eric Bigger as he discusses the subcultures of American life, highlighting the strength of diversity and
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And now for your host, Eric Bigger.
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Bigger Talks, Bigger Talks.
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Another day, another week here on Bigger Talks.
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Olivia, Michael, how you doing?
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How you feeling?
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New episode.
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Man, my mind is going crazy right now.
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So much to think about.
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So much to talk about.
Mental Illness: Stories & Stigma
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But we have any topics.
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Oh, yeah.
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And it's the stigma of mental illness.
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Define that.
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What is that?
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Mental illness, I think you would define it as any disorder that affects your mood, your thinking, or your behavior, whether that's in a positive or a negative way.
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So this could be something as serious as schizophrenia or something as more common like depression or anxiety or an eating disorder.
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Yeah.
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So there's a big spectrum of what falls under mental illness.
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So that is deep.
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And a lot of times, I don't know if you can...
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cure mental illness or depression, but I have a story that I want to brief you guys on.
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A few weeks ago, a friend of mine, a very close friend of mine, had a panic attack.
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I don't know where that plays in all of this, but he called me and he said, E, have you ever had a panic attack before?
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I said, no.
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He's like, man, I just had one and my breathing is off and it's crazy.
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He said, I'm going to come by.
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I said, okay.
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So he came over and before he came over, I'm on my phone Googling like, what is a panic attack?
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What should I do?
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And, you know, this is my good friend of mine.
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Like, I want to help him.
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He came over.
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We talked for like a good hour.
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And two things I took from the conversation was that he said, I feel like I'm desensitized.
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I can't cry anymore.
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And I feel like I attract dark energy.
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So I was like, wow, okay.
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So I said, that's two things you said.
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Pay attention to that.
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Listen, I said, you want to go for a walk?
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So we stepped outside.
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We went for a walk.
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And the first thing I said as I walked out, I looked to the sky and I said, man, you know, sometimes when I wake up and I see the sky, I think about gratitude.
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Gratitude is my attitude.
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Like, I'm so grateful to just be living, to have this life of mine, to be doing the things I'm doing.
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And he's like, oh, snap.
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I'm like, what?
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He's like, that's it.
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I was like, what?
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He's like, yeah.
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Gratitude.
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He's like, something in me just shifted.
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I'm like, really?
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He's like, yeah, man.
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Gratitude.
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So I'm like, good.
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I'm like, that's good.
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So I kind of felt a little better.
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So as we walked, we walked, we turned.
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And then he started going.
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He's like, yeah, man.
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And then he's like, man, you know what?
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I love you.
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He gave me a hug and he just started crying.
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Like just pouring.
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And I'm like, man, it's cool.
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I'm like, it's all right.
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Like, let it out.
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And he's like, man, I work so hard and I just don't know.
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And I was like, man, you can't do it alone.
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And I'm like, it's okay to cry.
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It's okay to have these things happen in your life.
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And I went through, I don't know if I had a panic, but I had parts of my life where it wasn't the best.
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And I cried and, you know, the best way I knew how I vented about it.
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But
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Basically, what I learned was in that moment, and I want to talk about this with our next guest, Matthew Santoro, YouTube star, 6 million subscribers.
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He's a comedian.
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He's an author about mental illness with himself because he spoke briefly.
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He has a YouTube video out about it and about having it with males.
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As men, we hold a lot of emotions in.
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And to see my friend go through that and for him to cry, that was really a miracle because I saw him let out what was holding him in.
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I think your story is a testament to show how difficult it is to talk about these things and how important it is.
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So often, I'm someone who struggles with anxiety.
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And so often I keep it in so close to my person that it makes it worse because you're afraid to talk about it.
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But when you talk about it, you release it.
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Yeah, and it's, man,
Guest Appearance: Matthew Santoro on Mental Health
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and like, and what I learned in that moment, my purpose was for him was just to be there, not to judge him, not to critique him, just to be there, be the energy, be that present and just be E. And it kind of like, it kind of loosened the mood and he was like, okay.
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And I'm like, we went, we had food, we ate.
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He's like, man, I love you, man.
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And I was like, man.
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And that's my question to you, Eric.
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It seems like...
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through a lot of hard times with some of your close friends or friends, you're always there during the roughest times.
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So him being vulnerable enough to express that to you, to even call you, how does that make you feel?
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Man, honestly, it's crazy because I wanna help people so much and I feel like I'm always compelled to people who are going through the most and the worst.
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I done had friends got shot in the head, people who leave their families, people who have been in abusive relationships, mental disorders or, I mean, I just had so much in my life and I think because my life just happened, I never had time to process it.
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I'm just there, I'm just present.
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I'm giving the best I have in that moment based on what I know.
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And I'm just a friend.
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And I just feel like it's part of my purpose.
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In what way, I don't know.
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But I just feel like I'm always around stuff that's heavy, that's deep, that's intense.
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And I'm there.
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It's me.
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I'm like, okay.
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And my best thing to do is to figure it out.
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So, I mean, that was a great question.
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I never thought of it like that.
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Shows a lot about who you are, though.
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And I just love people, man.
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I want to see people to win.
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And it's okay to cry.
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It's okay not to have it figured out.
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It's okay to have these tough moments.
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Like, we're all human.
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Like, it's all right.
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And so with that being said, you know, the topic of the day is the stigmas of mental illness.
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I have YouTube sensation comedian, Arthur Matthew Santoro.
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He's amazing.
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He's such a humble guy.
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When I met him, I actually met this guy a few weeks ago.
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And he was just, I said, man, would you love to come on the podcast?
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He said, man, if it's all about good vibes, I'm willing to do it.
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He's a cancer.
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We're going to talk about his astrology.
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He's birthday July 16th.
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He's just a great person.
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Matthew Santoro, guys, is up next.
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Stay tuned.
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Bigger Talks, mental illness.
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We're going to get into it.
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It's going to be a good one.
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Check in soon.
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We'll be back in a moment with more of Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger.
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Toyota, let's go places.
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Welcome back to Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger.
00:09:17
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Bigger Talks, welcome back.
00:09:18
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Welcome back.
00:09:19
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I got the man, the YouTube sensation, the star, the comedian, the author, Matthew Santoro.
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What's up, brother?
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How you doing?
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How you feeling?
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Thank you for having me.
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I'm excited.
00:09:29
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Man, welcome to Bigger Talks, man.
00:09:30
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Thanks, man.
00:09:31
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We met, like, not too long ago.
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You were so open, so humble.
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You have a familiar face.
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Thanks.
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I do know that you're popular and you're somebody, but you're just very, very humble.
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And so, you know, I did a little bit of research.
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Didn't have that much time because we just met, right?
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Okay.
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So your birthday is July 16th.
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Yes.
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Right?
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So what I know about people who birthdays in July, they're cancers.
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That's right.
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Cancers are very sensitive.
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They're emotional, and they're all about family and a water sign.
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So they're really helpful and given.
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And man, I just, you're so humble for the 6 million YouTube subscribers to having, you know, your own book and all your fans.
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And man, you're here.
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And I just want to say thank you.
00:10:13
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Oh, thanks, man.
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I should be thanking you.
00:10:15
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I'm grateful for the opportunity.
00:10:16
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I really appreciate it.
00:10:17
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And I will say I am into numerology.
00:10:20
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Okay.
00:10:20
Speaker
So I'm going to just do your life path number real quick.
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Okay.
00:10:23
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Okay.
00:10:23
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Do I need to put my hand out?
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You're
Fears, Regrets, and Personal Growth
00:10:25
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going to read my palm?
00:10:26
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:28
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Maybe not, but I'm going to just do the numbers, and I'll give you your life path number, and you let me know if it's true or not.
00:10:32
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So July 16th.
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So when you do numerology, no number can go above a 9.
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So we're going to add up your year first.
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So 1 plus 9 is 10.
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10 plus 8 is 18.
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18 plus 5 is 23.
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So 2 plus 3 is 5.
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Then we got 16.
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1 plus 6 is 7.
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So your day, 16th.
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1 plus 6 is 7.
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Plus your year equals 23, which is 5.
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So 7 and 5 is 12.
00:10:48
Speaker
12 plus 7, because July is 7, is what?
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19, so 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19.
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So 1 plus 9 is what? 10.
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Oh, Life Path 1.
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So Life Path 1s are considered born leaders.
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So Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, LeBron James, they're very ambitious.
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They're going to get what they want, and they're coming, no matter what.
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Their ego doesn't get bruised too easily.
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They can go through any and everything in life.
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They're coming.
00:11:30
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So you're like the sun.
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You're shining like...
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People got to see you.
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Thanks, man.
00:11:35
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It's just part of your nature.
00:11:36
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That's a little bit of numerology and astrology.
00:11:38
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Very cool.
00:11:39
Speaker
You're here, and we're going to get right into our rapid fire segment.
00:11:42
Speaker
Oh, shoot.
00:11:43
Speaker
We're just jumping right in.
00:11:44
Speaker
We're breaking ice.
00:11:44
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Okay.
00:11:45
Speaker
Come on.
00:11:45
Speaker
Ice breaker.
00:11:46
Speaker
Let's do it.
00:11:46
Speaker
We've always got these amazing questions.
00:11:48
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You ready?
00:11:49
Speaker
Yeah, I'm ready.
00:11:50
Speaker
Canada or the USA?
00:11:52
Speaker
Oh, shoot.
00:11:52
Speaker
You're going to play me like that?
00:11:55
Speaker
Shoot.
00:11:55
Speaker
Canada.
00:11:56
Speaker
Fame or fortune?
00:11:59
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Oh, I mean fortune.
00:12:02
Speaker
Beer or wine?
00:12:03
Speaker
Wine.
00:12:04
Speaker
YouTube or Vine?
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Speaker
YouTube.
00:12:09
Speaker
Lover or fighter?
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Speaker
Lover.
00:12:11
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Okay.
00:12:13
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Biggest life fear?
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Regret.
00:12:17
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Ooh.
00:12:18
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Ooh.
00:12:19
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You've been there before.
00:12:20
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No, but I don't want to get there.
00:12:22
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See, to me – okay, see, now we're going to – There we go.
00:12:25
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There we go.
00:12:26
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So to me, I think – for some reason, I've been thinking a lot about getting old.
00:12:35
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I'm only 32.
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Like I'm mad young to me.
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But –
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I can't shake the idea that one day, like tomorrow, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to be 70, right?
00:12:45
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Like right now I'm 32.
00:12:47
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But when you hit 70, like when that happens, you go, where did the last blank number of years go?
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Where did the last 50 years go, right?
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And my biggest fear is waking up that day.
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You know, it's an arbitrary number.
00:13:03
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Let's say 80, whatever.
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And saying to myself, like...
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I didn't accomplish everything that I could have.
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I didn't realize my full potential.
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That's my biggest fear.
00:13:14
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Wow.
00:13:15
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Yeah.
00:13:16
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So then I have a question.
00:13:17
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What is your full potential?
00:13:19
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It's limitless.
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That goes for everybody.
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That's everybody.
00:13:23
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You're only limited by your own mind.
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That's just a fact.
00:13:29
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People think they're limited by the expectations of their family or the expectations of their friends or what their boss thinks of them or whatever, but you're not.
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Those are all just artificial constructs.
00:13:43
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You can actually – see, this is going to sound like –
00:13:46
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very like cheesy in a way, but you really can do anything you want to do.
00:13:51
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And like you hear that your whole life, like everybody always says, like you can do anything.
00:13:55
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But, you know, as you grow up, you start to understand in society that there are constructs that will come around you and sort of box you in.
00:14:03
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Right.
00:14:03
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Like society doesn't want you to be outside of a box.
00:14:06
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They want to put you in a box because because they can understand you better that way.
00:14:10
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Right.
00:14:11
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But once you realize that everything you've ever wanted is outside of that box, that box really represents your comfort zone in many ways.
00:14:20
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And as soon as you leave that box, it's just anything is yours for the taking.
00:14:25
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The problem is getting outside of that box is scary.
00:14:30
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And people don't want to leave their comfort zone because they make exactly what they want to make every year.
00:14:35
Speaker
Maybe they make $30,000 a year.
00:14:37
Speaker
Well, they can pay the bills with that.
00:14:39
Speaker
But they really want to have their own podcast, right?
00:14:43
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But, well, I have this.
00:14:44
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I have that.
00:14:45
Speaker
There's excuses all the time, right?
00:14:47
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But the biggest thing is that it's not the excuses.
00:14:50
Speaker
It's that they're afraid to start.
00:14:52
Speaker
And the excuses are just the quickest way to justify it, right?
00:14:59
Speaker
disguise fear as practicality, right?
00:15:02
Speaker
In the words of the great Jim Carrey, right?
00:15:04
Speaker
I don't know if you guys have seen that commencement speech that he, I think it was a graduation speech.
00:15:08
Speaker
And he said those words and I was like, ooh, that's like, that's gospel right there.
00:15:12
Speaker
I remember felt like something I love and then something I don't.
00:15:15
Speaker
Bro, I said – okay, so back in the day I did a video.
00:15:20
Speaker
I think it's still on my channel, and it's called – oh, my God.
00:15:23
Speaker
I can't remember what it's called.
00:15:24
Speaker
Something along the lines of reasons to not go to university or something like that, which I have a master's from university.
00:15:31
Speaker
So, like, I wanted people – I wanted it to come from me.
00:15:33
Speaker
But essentially what I was saying is those words.
00:15:36
Speaker
He just put it much more eloquently, which is that you can fail at what you don't want, so you might as well take a chance on what you love.
00:15:43
Speaker
Right.
00:15:44
Speaker
Right.
00:15:44
Speaker
And, but he said, so that hit me, but also fears practicality.
00:15:48
Speaker
And I think if you really audit your own life, I think you're going to find that a lot of the decisions you make are really are either based in fear or love.
00:15:57
Speaker
Same thing you said, right?
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:59
Speaker
And it's true.
00:15:59
Speaker
And that, that is, it really is that black and white, right?
00:16:03
Speaker
Like it's when it comes to choices, there is no gray area.
00:16:05
Speaker
Either you do something cause you're in a state of love and in your state of state of gratitude and you're a state of joy and
00:16:13
Speaker
In bliss or fear, sadness, loneliness.
00:16:16
Speaker
Like it's just that simple.
00:16:18
Speaker
You know, the decisions that I make in my life, I always try to make them out of love and gratitude.
00:16:25
Speaker
And anytime that I'm not feeling that way, because there are going to be times all the time that we're all just like, man, this is a crap ass day.
00:16:32
Speaker
Can I say that?
00:16:33
Speaker
I don't know.
00:16:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:34
Speaker
I don't want to curse.
00:16:35
Speaker
Sorry.
00:16:37
Speaker
But like this is a crap day.
00:16:38
Speaker
Like, you know, like anytime that happens, I have enough self-awareness now to know that I can't make any decisions in that state.
00:16:46
Speaker
I just let that state be.
00:16:47
Speaker
I don't fight it because what you resist persists.
00:16:50
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:50
Speaker
So I don't fight it.
00:16:52
Speaker
I just say, OK, I am in the state.
00:16:53
Speaker
Hopefully I can get out of it, but I'm not going to fight it.
00:16:55
Speaker
It just is.
00:16:57
Speaker
And it just – I'm just going to let it be.
00:16:59
Speaker
And I don't make any decisions.
00:17:01
Speaker
I don't send out any tweets.
00:17:02
Speaker
I don't make any business decisions, nothing.
00:17:05
Speaker
It's just like I just sit in that state and sometimes I meditate and just kind of get out of it.
00:17:09
Speaker
So with all that being said, that's great information by the way.
00:17:13
Speaker
Thank you.
00:17:14
Speaker
Thanks, man.
00:17:14
Speaker
People, are you listening?
00:17:15
Speaker
This guy is very aware.
00:17:17
Speaker
I'm dropping facts on you.
00:17:19
Speaker
Yeah, gems, gems.
00:17:20
Speaker
So –
00:17:21
Speaker
Now, you have 6 million YouTube subscribers.
00:17:24
Speaker
You got almost 400,000 Instagram followers.
00:17:27
Speaker
Your influence is heavy.
00:17:28
Speaker
With that being said, I did go on your YouTube and I saw a video that you put up.
00:17:34
Speaker
I don't know how long ago it was.
00:17:35
Speaker
You got over about 1 million views.
00:17:38
Speaker
It was talking about your process of having depression.
00:17:41
Speaker
That was like eight months ago.
00:17:43
Speaker
Eight months ago.
00:17:43
Speaker
So was that decision made out of fear or out of love?
00:17:46
Speaker
And with all your followers and your fans...
00:17:49
Speaker
Did that play a role in you releasing that content?
00:17:52
Speaker
I mean, I said it, I think, in details that your friends influence you and help you.
00:17:57
Speaker
What was that process like?
00:18:00
Speaker
Man, I mean, so the last three years before that were very tough for me.
00:18:06
Speaker
And we don't have to get into details, but just like everybody else has things that happen.
00:18:11
Speaker
Sometimes things happen in life that you just, it sends you down a darker path than you were meant to be.
00:18:19
Speaker
And in my situation, I had a few things happen over the years.
00:18:22
Speaker
It's just kind of like boom.
00:18:23
Speaker
Like life will – excuse me.
00:18:26
Speaker
Life will – I'm getting all excited.
00:18:27
Speaker
I had that energy drink before I got here.
00:18:29
Speaker
There we go.
00:18:29
Speaker
Life will knock you down and hold you down if you let it, right?
00:18:35
Speaker
I believe Sylvester Stallone said that.
00:18:37
Speaker
I'm just full of all kinds of quotes.
00:18:38
Speaker
There you go.
00:18:39
Speaker
The top ten quotes.
00:18:40
Speaker
Yeah, for real.
00:18:41
Speaker
You probably got that on YouTube.
00:18:43
Speaker
But it will knock you down and keep you there if you let it.
00:18:46
Speaker
And for me, I let it.
00:18:48
Speaker
I let it for about three years and I just had a really tough time.
00:18:52
Speaker
I just couldn't find my way out of like a dark place.
00:18:54
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:18:55
Speaker
And I think a lot of people that are listening right now might identify with that.
00:18:58
Speaker
They might say, yeah, you know what?
00:18:59
Speaker
I'm in that place right now, but I don't know what to do.
00:19:03
Speaker
So for me, art was my way of taking back control.
00:19:09
Speaker
So for me, I never wanted to say I'm depressed because my whole life I've always been a really happy guy.
00:19:16
Speaker
I've just been really goofy, like happy, like – the state you see me in right now is my real state.
00:19:22
Speaker
But for three years, I just – it was like a downward spiral.
00:19:26
Speaker
And the release of that short film, which is called There's Something I Never Told You,
00:19:32
Speaker
was my way of putting a name to it, shining a light straight on it and saying, you no longer control me because I'm giving a name to you.
00:19:41
Speaker
And as soon as you name something and take responsibility for it, now you can change it.
00:19:46
Speaker
But if you don't, then how do you, it's like you're in a
Emotional Awareness & Open Conversations
00:19:50
Speaker
dark room.
00:19:50
Speaker
How do you, how do you grasp a formless thing?
00:19:54
Speaker
Right.
00:19:54
Speaker
You have to turn the light on and say, Oh, there you are.
00:19:57
Speaker
You got to point it out and you got to be aware of it and you got to know and you got to accept that this is what's going on.
00:20:02
Speaker
You got to own it.
00:20:03
Speaker
I was on the show, The Bachelorette.
00:20:05
Speaker
I was afraid of love.
00:20:06
Speaker
You were on The Bachelorette?
00:20:07
Speaker
Yeah, I was on The Bachelorette.
00:20:08
Speaker
Really?
00:20:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:09
Speaker
Don't tell nobody.
00:20:10
Speaker
I'm not surprised.
00:20:11
Speaker
Good looking, dude.
00:20:11
Speaker
Don't tell nobody.
00:20:14
Speaker
But anyway, I was afraid of love.
00:20:16
Speaker
And I was afraid to accept that I was afraid of love because, oh, no, I'm cool.
00:20:19
Speaker
I'm a macho strong.
00:20:20
Speaker
But that fear of love was taking over me.
00:20:23
Speaker
And so I surrendered to the moment like, it's all right.
00:20:26
Speaker
It's OK.
00:20:27
Speaker
And then love came into my life and it changed me.
00:20:30
Speaker
So.
00:20:31
Speaker
To go back to the depression part, what, like I don't have that much information on depression and things of that nature.
00:20:37
Speaker
What caused that?
00:20:38
Speaker
Is that, is it like a chemical imbalance?
00:20:40
Speaker
Is it something physical?
00:20:41
Speaker
Is it an event?
00:20:42
Speaker
So here's the thing.
00:20:43
Speaker
So the things that you do over and over and over, you're training your brain to produce those chemicals, right?
00:20:50
Speaker
So for me, my whole life, I had been a really happy guy.
00:20:54
Speaker
And then once, say one bad thing happened,
00:20:58
Speaker
Well, okay, that's like a knock to my brain.
00:21:00
Speaker
It's like, oh, like I feel those negative chemicals, that negative feeling.
00:21:04
Speaker
And then now boom, boom, boom, I can get back.
00:21:07
Speaker
However, another thing happens.
00:21:09
Speaker
And then another thing happens.
00:21:10
Speaker
And then it was just – I was just training my – basically training my brain to continuously every day wake up with anxiety.
00:21:17
Speaker
Every day –
00:21:19
Speaker
It's a routine.
00:21:20
Speaker
Everything in life is a routine, right?
00:21:22
Speaker
My routine now is I wake up and I listen to motivational videos every morning because the first hour of the day determines the rest of your day, right?
00:21:31
Speaker
This is a scientific fact.
00:21:34
Speaker
Your brain waves are at its strongest in the morning.
00:21:37
Speaker
So what you feed your brain in the morning – You listening, people?
00:21:41
Speaker
Listen to this.
00:21:42
Speaker
For real.
00:21:43
Speaker
If you're listening to this in the morning, perfect.
00:21:45
Speaker
There we go.
00:21:46
Speaker
What you feed your brain.
00:21:47
Speaker
You know, people talk about breakfast.
00:21:49
Speaker
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
00:21:50
Speaker
It's for your body.
00:21:52
Speaker
Right?
00:21:53
Speaker
For your brain, same thing goes.
00:21:55
Speaker
What do you do normally in the morning?
00:21:57
Speaker
Well, you pick up your phone, right?
00:21:59
Speaker
Oh, what's the latest thing Trump said?
00:22:01
Speaker
Oh, what's the latest thing?
00:22:02
Speaker
I'm just saying in general.
00:22:04
Speaker
What's the latest thing on CNN?
00:22:06
Speaker
How many people died in a terrible car crash?
00:22:08
Speaker
You never see, you never see, hey, good morning.
00:22:12
Speaker
A breed of puppies was just born this morning.
00:22:15
Speaker
You don't see it because that doesn't sell in the media, right?
00:22:18
Speaker
I think you know what we should do, Matt?
00:22:19
Speaker
We should start positive news.
00:22:20
Speaker
We should have a- Bro, we just started.
00:22:22
Speaker
We're doing it right now.
00:22:23
Speaker
Positive news every day.
00:22:24
Speaker
So people come to our channel and log on, positive news with E and Matt.
00:22:27
Speaker
Yeah, and every day it starts with just a puppy.
00:22:29
Speaker
Like the first five minutes of the broadcast- What type of puppy though?
00:22:33
Speaker
Bro, it doesn't even matter.
00:22:34
Speaker
It's just puppies running around for the first five minutes.
00:22:37
Speaker
You don't get the news until you just absorb the puppies.
00:22:39
Speaker
But for real, like I wake up and I just fill my brain with gratitude and love and like listen to Tony Robbins and Eric Thomas and Les Brown and oh my god.
00:22:50
Speaker
You don't know how to say it, bro.
00:22:52
Speaker
Are we soul brothers or what?
00:22:53
Speaker
I mean, I'm a Pisces.
00:22:54
Speaker
You're a cancer.
00:22:55
Speaker
We're water signs.
00:22:55
Speaker
I'm down.
00:22:56
Speaker
We're feeling the emotions.
00:22:57
Speaker
Intuitive.
00:22:58
Speaker
Listen, man.
00:22:59
Speaker
I'm saying though, the universe, I really believe in allowing, you have to allow the universe to bring you the blessings that they have for you.
00:23:09
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:23:10
Speaker
But that's why we met, right?
00:23:13
Speaker
I'll tell you something.
00:23:14
Speaker
The day that I, did I meet you at Charlie's thing?
00:23:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:18
Speaker
That was the first time we met.
00:23:18
Speaker
Clover Park in San Ramon.
00:23:19
Speaker
That was the first time we met.
00:23:20
Speaker
Okay, cool, cool.
00:23:20
Speaker
I wasn't sure if we met before that.
00:23:21
Speaker
I feel like I've known you for so long.
00:23:22
Speaker
I know, the energy.
00:23:23
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:23:24
Speaker
But the reason we met was because that day in particular, I think that day I was having a bit of an off day.
00:23:31
Speaker
I did too.
00:23:32
Speaker
Okay, hold up.
00:23:32
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:33
Speaker
Okay, let's follow this.
00:23:34
Speaker
Let's go.
00:23:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:35
Speaker
So that day I was having a bit of an off day.
00:23:37
Speaker
Now, I know.
00:23:39
Speaker
through experience every single time in my life that I've had a bit of an off day or I'm not really feeling like my best self.
00:23:46
Speaker
If I force myself to go do something that has been brought my way, whether it's seeing off Charlie, whether it's a friend's birthday, whether it's going to a club, whatever, every single time I've done that, something good has come from it.
00:23:58
Speaker
And not just good, but like big.
00:24:00
Speaker
Big, what's it?
00:24:01
Speaker
Bigger talks.
00:24:02
Speaker
Bigger talks.
00:24:02
Speaker
Talks is one.
00:24:03
Speaker
That's right.
00:24:04
Speaker
So, you know, something big, like no pun intended, but kind of.
00:24:07
Speaker
So that day, this is what happened.
00:24:10
Speaker
And now, like, we met, you know, Soul Brothers, apparently.
00:24:13
Speaker
Yeah, and we're here.
00:24:13
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:24:14
Speaker
And it's funny, that morning, Charlie and the whole Vero crew and George and everybody, they had a 10K.
00:24:20
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:24:21
Speaker
I was late.
00:24:22
Speaker
I didn't get that much rest the night before.
00:24:25
Speaker
I was late.
00:24:26
Speaker
I was pissed.
00:24:27
Speaker
I was like, it's only six miles.
00:24:28
Speaker
Like, come on.
00:24:30
Speaker
Like, people are walking.
00:24:31
Speaker
I can be finished in an hour or so.
00:24:34
Speaker
Sorry, sir.
00:24:35
Speaker
No more, you know, numbers to put on your chest.
00:24:37
Speaker
You can't go.
00:24:38
Speaker
I was mad.
00:24:40
Speaker
But instead of being in my ego and forcing myself to go run six miles somewhere else, because my intentions were telling me I'm going to go do six miles.
00:24:45
Speaker
You know what I did?
00:24:46
Speaker
I went home.
00:24:48
Speaker
And I went to sleep.
00:24:49
Speaker
But I knew Charlie and him had the party, the gathering at Clover Park from 12 to 2.
00:24:54
Speaker
So I said, you know what?
00:24:56
Speaker
I'll just go there.
00:24:58
Speaker
And when I went there, you know, I met everyone.
00:25:00
Speaker
You know, we talked, we spoke.
00:25:02
Speaker
And I believe, just like you, everything happens for a reason.
00:25:05
Speaker
So when I went there...
00:25:07
Speaker
And I got your information, I said, that was the purpose, podcast, boom, and now we're here.
00:25:13
Speaker
But if I would've went against the grain and was like, oh, I'm mad, I'm tired, I wouldn't even, we wouldn't even have met.
00:25:19
Speaker
That's it.
00:25:20
Speaker
So people, let the universe work in your favor.
00:25:22
Speaker
Don't try to force the MLO.
00:25:23
Speaker
Or you know how sometimes you might be having to, you have to go to a meeting and you're in an Uber, you're late,
00:25:29
Speaker
And you're telling an Uber, go this way, go that way.
00:25:31
Speaker
No, just go the way.
00:25:33
Speaker
Just let it be.
00:25:33
Speaker
Let it be.
00:25:34
Speaker
And then I believe real things happen naturally.
00:25:38
Speaker
But just not to get off a topic, what is, from your mind and perspective, what is the misconception about mental illness that you can think of or know of?
00:25:47
Speaker
The biggest misconception.
00:25:49
Speaker
I got to think about that one.
00:25:51
Speaker
The biggest misconception.
00:25:54
Speaker
I mean, there's obviously to some degree still a bit of a stigma.
00:25:58
Speaker
And for me, I mean, I think that's part of what took so long for me to like kind of get out of that state was that for years I had been talking about the importance of mental health.
00:26:09
Speaker
And, you know, in Canada, we have Bell Let's Talk Day, which actually goes international.
00:26:14
Speaker
So every time you use the hashtag Bell Let's Talk,
00:26:16
Speaker
On a particular day, whatever day that is, I think it's at like in September of every year or something, they donate five cents for every hashtag.
00:26:22
Speaker
They raise millions of dollars and it's just huge awareness.
00:26:25
Speaker
It's fantastic.
00:26:27
Speaker
And I had been talking about that for years, but the truth is I had never taken care of my own mental health.
00:26:35
Speaker
You know, like I, I just, I was a bit of a hypocrite in that regard.
00:26:39
Speaker
And it was only when I did start taking my own mental health seriously that I realized that.
00:26:44
Speaker
So now when I talk about it, it's like I'm believing and I'm acting out what I'm saying.
00:26:51
Speaker
So I guess like I don't – to be honest, I don't really know.
00:26:55
Speaker
I mean – You know, I think the misconception – and I could be wrong – is that –
00:27:01
Speaker
when we think because of who we are from an egotistical standpoint, like, oh, I'm not stressed out, I'm not depressed.
00:27:07
Speaker
I can be this most positive, happy, I can do my affirmations, I can watch motivation videos, but yet I can still somewhat be depressed, but I'm not aware of it because no, I'm not.
00:27:17
Speaker
And what I realized is that as men, I don't wanna say we're afraid, we don't know how to respond or open up about what we're really feeling.
00:27:26
Speaker
I'm from Baltimore City, so I grew up, it was tough, there was a lot of challenges.
00:27:30
Speaker
And I probably really didn't cry until like 25.
00:27:33
Speaker
Wow.
00:27:35
Speaker
So I was holding a lot of pain and rage and anger and trauma just because in the environment, if you release that, then that's dangerous.
00:27:44
Speaker
So my positivity actually was my coping mechanism.
00:27:47
Speaker
It protected me.
00:27:49
Speaker
And what I realized is when we are diagnosed with certain things, whether it's depression, anxiety, or
00:27:57
Speaker
It's okay, and I think as men, when we fight, like, I think if I'm not mistaken, most men don't wanna go get checkups, so they don't wanna go to the hospital, because we don't wanna hear the truth or the results or whatever.
00:28:09
Speaker
It's okay if you're diagnosed or something happens, because I believe in getting to the root of everything.
00:28:15
Speaker
I had a lot of trauma from my life.
00:28:17
Speaker
But I didn't know until last year, my agent said, why are you like dissing your pictures?
00:28:22
Speaker
Like I would like squeeze my shoulders.
00:28:25
Speaker
And I said, because in my life, everything was so tense and I had to be on so much.
00:28:29
Speaker
So I'm looking at my photos and like, that's trauma.
00:28:33
Speaker
I'm holding on to...
00:28:34
Speaker
Whatever I'm trying to hold on to because I don't know how to be relaxed because it's either life or death.
00:28:40
Speaker
See, it's funny you say that because I started to find that I carry my stress and tension in my shoulders.
00:28:46
Speaker
I don't think we're alone in that.
00:28:47
Speaker
I think a lot of – like if you look at people, like they just naturally do this and you don't – like for everybody listening right now, check your shoulders right now.
00:28:56
Speaker
Check your shoulders.
00:28:56
Speaker
What are you doing?
00:28:57
Speaker
Oh, my god.
00:28:57
Speaker
I'm so tense.
00:28:58
Speaker
For real.
00:28:58
Speaker
What are you doing right now?
00:28:59
Speaker
And I bet you're going to go, oh.
00:29:01
Speaker
Right.
00:29:01
Speaker
Right?
00:29:01
Speaker
Because you might be in traffic right now.
00:29:04
Speaker
Right?
00:29:05
Speaker
Oh, I got to get to work.
00:29:06
Speaker
No, just let it go.
00:29:06
Speaker
Let it go.
00:29:07
Speaker
And the other thing that I would do is clench my jaw.
00:29:11
Speaker
Right?
00:29:12
Speaker
Especially if I was sleeping, I'd find it – like I'd wake up and I'd feel like my jaw was sore.
00:29:16
Speaker
Or even just during the day, I'd kind of like –
00:29:19
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:19
Speaker
Just, you know, and meditation actually helped a lot with that.
00:29:22
Speaker
Like just being very aware of your body, including your jaw, your forehead, people wrinkle their forehead.
00:29:27
Speaker
There's all these little signs that once you become aware of them, forehead, jaw, shoulders, you'll even just going like this, like release your hands.
00:29:36
Speaker
You might be listening to this and your, your fist might be clenched.
00:29:38
Speaker
Like just that's a sign though.
00:29:40
Speaker
It's a sign to like, just breathe.
00:29:43
Speaker
Just breathe.
00:29:44
Speaker
That was my next question is like, how do you know when you're in it?
00:29:46
Speaker
And how do you know when you're out of it?
00:29:48
Speaker
It takes practice.
00:29:50
Speaker
So like I just said, those are the four things, like clenched fist, jaw, shoulders, like wrinkled forehead, like people furrowed their brow.
00:29:57
Speaker
These are all just – it's body awareness and just knowing the signs.
00:30:02
Speaker
For me, it was just meditation that taught me that.
00:30:04
Speaker
I'm pretty new to meditation.
00:30:05
Speaker
It's only been like two months.
00:30:07
Speaker
Really?
00:30:07
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:30:08
Speaker
I just started pretty much.
00:30:09
Speaker
What did you do prior to meditation to deal with all the pressure and other things you had prior?
00:30:13
Speaker
How did you deal with it?
00:30:14
Speaker
Just added more stress, man.
00:30:15
Speaker
More and more stress.
00:30:15
Speaker
Wow.
00:30:16
Speaker
So to anyone listening or to people out there that's tuned into this podcast, what could be your solution for anyone who has depression, who might have a chemical imbalance with mental illness or anything?
00:30:28
Speaker
What would you advise they could do that they can control like right now?
00:30:32
Speaker
What you can control?
00:30:33
Speaker
Outside of medication.
00:30:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:36
Speaker
See, that's a tough question because like everybody is different, right?
00:30:39
Speaker
Like some people have like a genuine chemical imbalance that maybe not necessarily anything happened to them but they're just always down and no motivation.
00:30:48
Speaker
Like that's –
00:30:50
Speaker
I can't say because my path is going to be very different than that.
00:30:53
Speaker
Like I had specific things that I can point to that, you know, I can, I can say, okay, like I can go in therapy and talk about that.
00:30:59
Speaker
Or, you know, like I, you just have to, I would say meditation honestly is like, just that would be the only thing like away from drugs and any sort of substance that can change your state.
00:31:12
Speaker
And it's, you know, I always thought meditation was kind of this like,
00:31:17
Speaker
fairy magic thing.
00:31:19
Speaker
It's like, oh, why do people like, oh, I'm going to go like this and put my hands together and hum?
00:31:24
Speaker
That's dumb.
00:31:25
Speaker
But that's not how it is at all.
00:31:28
Speaker
And the other thing actually that I was – I never wanted to meditate because I was afraid of losing control.
00:31:34
Speaker
And I want to say that again for everybody because –
00:31:37
Speaker
Control is a disease.
00:31:38
Speaker
Control.
00:31:39
Speaker
Everybody wants to always be in control nowadays, right?
00:31:42
Speaker
And my biggest fear was losing control.
00:31:45
Speaker
Like am I going to lose my mind?
00:31:47
Speaker
Like really?
00:31:47
Speaker
Am I going to like – is that what these people do?
00:31:50
Speaker
They just become like nothingness in their mind and they like lose themselves?
00:31:53
Speaker
That's not what meditation is.
00:31:55
Speaker
In fact, it's actually the opposite.
00:31:57
Speaker
It actually puts you more present.
00:32:00
Speaker
and gets you more in tune with your body and you're actually more focused.
00:32:03
Speaker
So anyone who is afraid of that, that's not what meditation is.
00:32:07
Speaker
And this is coming from a guy that just started.
00:32:09
Speaker
I can tell you that that's not what it is.
00:32:11
Speaker
And it's just a casual thing.
00:32:12
Speaker
And like, I don't go around telling people, well, right now I am, but I don't go around telling people like, yo, I meditate, you know, like a blah, blah, blah.
00:32:19
Speaker
I don't do that.
00:32:20
Speaker
I just do it for myself.
00:32:21
Speaker
I pretty much keep quiet about it.
00:32:22
Speaker
And it's just for my own mental health.
00:32:25
Speaker
And like, anytime I'm feeling overwhelmed, I'll bust out.
00:32:28
Speaker
Do you know the Calm app?
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah, so Apple named it.
00:32:31
Speaker
That's actually how I got into it.
00:32:33
Speaker
That and my friend, they named it the app of the year in 2017.
00:32:37
Speaker
And it's like $60 a year.
00:32:38
Speaker
There's different ones.
00:32:39
Speaker
There's that.
00:32:39
Speaker
There's Headspace.
00:32:40
Speaker
There's like all these different ones.
00:32:41
Speaker
Oh, YouTube.
00:32:42
Speaker
YouTube, yeah.
00:32:43
Speaker
No, exactly.
00:32:43
Speaker
Google Meditation for depression, stress.
00:32:47
Speaker
100%.
00:32:47
Speaker
But this app in particular, I haven't tried the other ones, but I know this one is good.
00:32:51
Speaker
I put on my headphones.
00:32:53
Speaker
Like first thing in the morning I meditate or like if I'm really in the creative zone, I'll just get right to shooting videos.
00:33:00
Speaker
And then I'll meditate later.
00:33:02
Speaker
There's nice falling asleep ones and stuff like that.
00:33:04
Speaker
So that's just what I personally use.
00:33:05
Speaker
But there's Headspace.
00:33:07
Speaker
There's all these different ones.
00:33:08
Speaker
But meditation period, like it's just a good starting point.
00:33:11
Speaker
Because it calms the mind.
00:33:12
Speaker
And what I realize is that when you let go of control, you actually get more control.
00:33:17
Speaker
Because when you let go, the truth comes out, which you really can deal with.
00:33:22
Speaker
I used to be a control freak.
00:33:23
Speaker
I wouldn't have a team prior to this because I knew what I'm doing.
00:33:26
Speaker
I'm going to do it my way.
00:33:27
Speaker
And then I'm like, Olivia, I need you.
00:33:30
Speaker
Mike, Matt, can you come in?
00:33:32
Speaker
Because less is more and you need a team.
00:33:34
Speaker
So let go of control.
00:33:35
Speaker
And then you'll realize that the things you can control today.
00:33:39
Speaker
My phone turned off.
00:33:40
Speaker
You text me.
00:33:41
Speaker
I didn't get your text.
00:33:42
Speaker
I say, you know what, brother?
00:33:43
Speaker
I apologize.
00:33:44
Speaker
But I'm not in control.
00:33:46
Speaker
Much as I wanted to.
00:33:47
Speaker
And I also used to think that life was in the mind and in the breath.
00:33:52
Speaker
And I can't say a lot of life is in the mind because some people, their mind play tricks on them, right?
00:33:58
Speaker
But if you breathe different, it can kind of control a lot of things.
00:34:01
Speaker
And that's why I think meditation helps.
00:34:04
Speaker
But I also think...
00:34:06
Speaker
with people who are diagnosed, if they all come together because they can relate, can probably help the situation become better.
00:34:13
Speaker
Because when you relate to someone, you understand them more and it's a lot easier to open up and talk about it.
00:34:19
Speaker
Opposed to someone who's, you know,
00:34:21
Speaker
doesn't have a mental breakdown or who's very confident, is loving, you're like, I don't have that.
00:34:28
Speaker
I'm nervous.
00:34:29
Speaker
But everybody can be a part of the conversation.
Human Connection & Positive Interactions
00:34:31
Speaker
Right.
00:34:31
Speaker
Like, you don't have to have something.
00:34:32
Speaker
You can still... And here's the thing.
00:34:34
Speaker
You can still put things on social media, hashtags and stuff.
00:34:37
Speaker
But what's interesting about mental health these days is...
00:34:41
Speaker
I guarantee you everybody listening right now knows at least one person that deals with something.
00:34:47
Speaker
It might not be you or your parents, but like it might be like a removed cousin or like a friend of a friend.
00:34:53
Speaker
You know somebody that's going through something to do with mental health.
00:34:58
Speaker
And that's a really big umbrella, but you know somebody and that's why it's so important because our war of our generation is not a physical war.
00:35:07
Speaker
It's a spiritual war.
00:35:08
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:09
Speaker
Intangible.
00:35:10
Speaker
Right?
00:35:10
Speaker
Yeah, you felt that.
00:35:11
Speaker
I saw that.
00:35:13
Speaker
I sat back.
00:35:14
Speaker
It's true though.
00:35:14
Speaker
It's like our grandfathers and grandmothers, they fought a physical war.
00:35:20
Speaker
But in many ways, they were happier than us.
00:35:22
Speaker
How can that be?
00:35:23
Speaker
They grew up in devastation and poverty in many ways.
00:35:26
Speaker
And like my grandmother, like the ration during the war and they used like green glass.
00:35:31
Speaker
Like I don't know what that was all about, but I remember seeing green glass and she was saying that's all we had.
00:35:34
Speaker
It was cheaper.
00:35:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:36
Speaker
So for our generation, we have more wealth in physical toys like iPhones and Androids and we're connected all the time and we're theoretically more connected than we ever have been.
00:35:47
Speaker
But we have more of a rise in mental health issues and people committing suicide and just general sadness than ever before in history.
00:35:56
Speaker
How can that be?
00:35:57
Speaker
So it's a spiritual war that we're fighting.
00:36:00
Speaker
And this is just a part of our evolution.
00:36:03
Speaker
And that's what we have to deal with at this point.
00:36:07
Speaker
And it's so important for people to know that it's not about the material riches so much.
00:36:12
Speaker
I like to call it emotional riches.
00:36:14
Speaker
And that's what we're lacking.
00:36:15
Speaker
That's what the world needs.
00:36:16
Speaker
What we're having right here together on this podcast all together is human connection.
00:36:20
Speaker
This is love.
00:36:21
Speaker
This is not out of fear.
00:36:22
Speaker
This is something that's real.
00:36:24
Speaker
And we're having a connection.
00:36:25
Speaker
And that's what everybody wants in the world, I believe, is that intimate connection to be understood, to be heard, to be loved, to even if you have a fear to say is, OK, I have those fears, too, because we need each other.
00:36:39
Speaker
No one's better than anyone.
00:36:41
Speaker
We're all the same.
00:36:42
Speaker
We're all connected.
00:36:42
Speaker
And I think that's what people need to understand.
00:36:45
Speaker
But I want to know, you know, because you have a big platform.
00:36:48
Speaker
We have six million YouTube subscribers, almost 400,000 Instagram followers.
00:36:54
Speaker
What you think we could do to spread more awareness about mental illness, depression, anxiety, and all those things?
00:37:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:01
Speaker
not to have people come forward and speak about it because i feel like there's a lot of people out there who don't talk about it or who have it who don't know about it you want to know what the best thing everyone can do about it keep it casual just literally dinner room talk how you feeling today well i felt kind of depressed you know what me too
00:37:21
Speaker
It doesn't have, it doesn't simple, like keep it in, make it.
00:37:25
Speaker
So it's not a big deal.
00:37:27
Speaker
That's the problem is like, people are like hashtag like mental, mental health awareness.
00:37:31
Speaker
Like you don't have to, yeah, you don't have to make it this big thing where it's like, Oh, can I talk about it at the dinner table?
00:37:37
Speaker
Is that going to bring down the mood?
00:37:38
Speaker
Like wrong attitude.
00:37:40
Speaker
Like I can't remember what happened, but like the other day, and this has been happening more and more.
00:37:44
Speaker
Someone said like, how are you?
00:37:45
Speaker
And I was like, you know what?
00:37:45
Speaker
I had a really crappy mental health day today.
00:37:48
Speaker
And I was just like straight out, just like that.
00:37:50
Speaker
And I realized I said it.
00:37:52
Speaker
And this was actually the first time I had said it since I released my short film.
00:37:56
Speaker
And before that, it wasn't a part of my – I don't know what the word, like lexicon, like my regular conversation.
00:38:02
Speaker
And the person said something like heavy that just hit me.
00:38:06
Speaker
But they said it so casually, something like – something, oh, yeah, me too.
00:38:10
Speaker
Like I ran out of my meds or something.
00:38:11
Speaker
I was like, what?
00:38:12
Speaker
Nice.
00:38:12
Speaker
Like this is where we're at.
00:38:14
Speaker
This is where we're at.
00:38:15
Speaker
Like you totally just like talked about something that used to be mad heavy.
00:38:18
Speaker
Like who would say that?
00:38:19
Speaker
But now everyone's saying it because it's just like, oh, yeah, like I had a bad thought the other day.
00:38:25
Speaker
Like, oh, man, this morning I felt mad depressed.
00:38:27
Speaker
I couldn't get out of bed.
00:38:28
Speaker
But I'm here now.
00:38:29
Speaker
We're good.
00:38:30
Speaker
Like whatever.
00:38:31
Speaker
Like it's just so keep it casual.
00:38:32
Speaker
Casual.
00:38:33
Speaker
Casual.
00:38:34
Speaker
It's simple.
00:38:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:35
Speaker
And if somebody reacts weirdly, if they go – like if you say like I felt like I had a really bad mental health day today and someone looks at you weird.
00:38:43
Speaker
Don't accept that energy.
00:38:47
Speaker
To me, energy is a gift.
00:38:50
Speaker
And just like any other gift, if I give you a gift, what can you do with that?
00:38:54
Speaker
You can either take it or –
00:38:57
Speaker
Not.
00:38:58
Speaker
So literally today, somebody tweeted me something and they said something nasty.
00:39:03
Speaker
And I literally, I tweeted them back and I said, hey, I'm not sure what's going on in your life, but it sounds like maybe there's something wrong.
00:39:11
Speaker
But I don't accept your gift of negative energy, but I do wish you'd have a fantastic day and a good weekend.
00:39:17
Speaker
Like it is literally that simple.
00:39:19
Speaker
Like people think that – that's why people are so controlled by their environments because people think things happen to them, right?
00:39:27
Speaker
Nothing happens to you unless you let it happen to you, right?
00:39:30
Speaker
So like I can say F you.
00:39:32
Speaker
Well, okay.
00:39:34
Speaker
That doesn't have to upset you.
00:39:35
Speaker
You choose to let it accept.
00:39:36
Speaker
Because the F you is on you, not me if I don't accept it.
00:39:39
Speaker
Exactly.
00:39:40
Speaker
And that's exactly the thing is like just like think of energy and what people say to you.
00:39:46
Speaker
Literally as a gift.
00:39:47
Speaker
If you think about it this way, it's going to change your life.
00:39:50
Speaker
If somebody cuts you off in traffic or flips you the bird or someone at work says something negative about you, there's a million things that could happen during the day.
00:39:57
Speaker
That is a gift that the universe – think of the universe as a man or a woman that stands in front of you and hands you a box, right?
00:40:05
Speaker
You don't have to take that box.
00:40:07
Speaker
You don't have to take that box.
00:40:08
Speaker
It is literally fine to say, no, thank you.
00:40:11
Speaker
I don't accept your gift of negative energy.
00:40:14
Speaker
That's not crazy talk.
00:40:15
Speaker
That's just, you can do that.
00:40:16
Speaker
Like people don't realize that you have a choice in that matter.
00:40:20
Speaker
A choice and you have power to choose different.
00:40:22
Speaker
That's right.
00:40:22
Speaker
And like certain people in my life, like the other day – I don't want to get specific.
00:40:28
Speaker
But like I recently communicated to somebody in their life, hey, I want more for you and here's how I think we should do it.
00:40:35
Speaker
And exercise is important.
00:40:37
Speaker
I think we can pull each other up and do more.
00:40:40
Speaker
And at first that individual is like kind of resistant to it, right?
00:40:43
Speaker
And like an argument ensued.
00:40:45
Speaker
But I was like, you're going to understand that this is coming from a place of love.
00:40:49
Speaker
And, you know, whatever it is, whether it's your parents, your partner, whatever, your brother, sister, if you want more for them and you come from a place of love, whatever you communicate, they may not immediately respond positively.
00:41:02
Speaker
Because when you ask more of somebody, you're taking me out of my comfort zone.
00:41:05
Speaker
Alert, alert.
00:41:06
Speaker
No, I don't like this.
00:41:07
Speaker
F you.
00:41:07
Speaker
I don't want to talk about it because that's natural.
00:41:09
Speaker
People don't like change, right?
00:41:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:11
Speaker
But if you come from a place of love.
00:41:14
Speaker
And they marinate on it a little bit and they go to bed.
00:41:17
Speaker
Or even an hour later, they might come back to you and say, you know what?
00:41:20
Speaker
I get where you're coming from and I think you're right.
Meditation, Positivity & Future Projects
00:41:23
Speaker
And that's it.
00:41:24
Speaker
And so when that happens, don't take that negative energy.
00:41:28
Speaker
Just they threw it at you.
00:41:30
Speaker
I hear what you're saying.
00:41:31
Speaker
But just let it breathe.
00:41:33
Speaker
You're going to understand.
00:41:33
Speaker
No, no, no, no.
00:41:35
Speaker
I hear what you're saying.
00:41:36
Speaker
Just let it breathe.
00:41:36
Speaker
I love you.
00:41:37
Speaker
Yeah, but you said no.
00:41:38
Speaker
No, just let it breathe.
00:41:39
Speaker
I love you.
00:41:40
Speaker
This is good for us.
00:41:41
Speaker
And literally, just keep coming at it.
00:41:43
Speaker
It's like dosing water on a fire, right?
00:41:45
Speaker
And eventually they're going to go, and they're going to say, no, I still come at you with love.
00:41:49
Speaker
Because love heals everything.
00:41:51
Speaker
Love wins.
00:41:52
Speaker
Like you said, it's the state they're in.
00:41:53
Speaker
You go to a restaurant, and most times if a waiter or a waitress is at your table,
00:41:59
Speaker
She's giving.
00:42:00
Speaker
She wants to know what do you want.
00:42:02
Speaker
But how about, hey, how you doing today?
00:42:03
Speaker
How you feeling?
00:42:05
Speaker
I like water with lemon, with chicken and a salad, with a smile.
00:42:11
Speaker
And like a smile.
00:42:12
Speaker
I was like, now she has to think because she's not used to that or he's not used to that.
00:42:15
Speaker
You just broke her pattern.
00:42:16
Speaker
Right.
00:42:16
Speaker
People have patterns, right?
00:42:17
Speaker
Tony Robbins talks about this all the time.
00:42:20
Speaker
People have patterns.
00:42:20
Speaker
When you say something like that, you just – like she's on autopilot or he.
00:42:24
Speaker
Autopilot.
00:42:25
Speaker
People – that's how her brains work.
00:42:27
Speaker
Your brain wants to do the least amount of work possible.
00:42:29
Speaker
So –
00:42:31
Speaker
It will go on autopilot.
00:42:32
Speaker
Like do you have coffee in the morning?
00:42:33
Speaker
I don't.
00:42:34
Speaker
I don't drink coffee.
00:42:34
Speaker
Do you have coffee?
00:42:35
Speaker
I had like four coffees and a piece of tea today.
00:42:38
Speaker
So lots of coffee.
00:42:39
Speaker
And when you make your coffee, do you think about it or do you just make it the same way every time?
00:42:42
Speaker
Same way every time.
00:42:43
Speaker
Exactly.
00:42:44
Speaker
Because that's your brain on autopilot.
00:42:46
Speaker
That's how the brain likes to work.
00:42:47
Speaker
It doesn't want to think about, hey, could I change it up?
00:42:49
Speaker
Maybe I'll like it.
00:42:50
Speaker
It doesn't want to think that way.
00:42:52
Speaker
So that can work against you or for you though.
00:42:54
Speaker
For me, you can make it work for you because that's how people go to the gym.
00:42:58
Speaker
You don't really think about it.
00:42:59
Speaker
Okay, it's part of my routine.
00:43:01
Speaker
I'm going to go to the gym.
00:43:01
Speaker
But at first, you're very against it because, again, you're stepping out of the comfort zone.
00:43:05
Speaker
So –
00:43:06
Speaker
It's about breaking patterns.
00:43:07
Speaker
Got to break the pattern.
00:43:08
Speaker
And that's what I do for people too.
00:43:09
Speaker
Like people say, hey, can I help you?
00:43:11
Speaker
And like you can feel people's energy right away.
00:43:14
Speaker
Like people were very – like we're energy beings.
00:43:16
Speaker
Like you can feel people's energy.
00:43:18
Speaker
If someone comes to you and says like, hey, welcome, can I help you?
00:43:22
Speaker
It's like, okay.
00:43:23
Speaker
This person is having a bad day.
00:43:24
Speaker
They're like, hey, how's your day going?
00:43:26
Speaker
Oh, not bad.
00:43:27
Speaker
What can I do for you?
00:43:28
Speaker
No, like what's wrong?
00:43:29
Speaker
You good?
00:43:30
Speaker
Whoa.
00:43:30
Speaker
What?
00:43:31
Speaker
What?
00:43:32
Speaker
you just broke my pad what you actually you don't want every day yeah you don't just want fry what like you just completely pulled them out of right they're an autopilot negative negative negative and then this person comes along says no we're gonna breathe for a second what's up you okay like you say interrupt the pattern give them giving them something different actually on late of that said how you doing i'm fine i was like how you feeling she's like i'm cool i'm like you sure she's like yeah i said how's your heart she's like huh
00:43:55
Speaker
That's my heart.
00:43:57
Speaker
I was like, yeah, it's good.
00:43:59
Speaker
She's like, I think it's good.
00:44:00
Speaker
It's like, okay, just making sure.
00:44:02
Speaker
Even just saying, just making sure makes a person think that, okay, you care about me.
00:44:07
Speaker
Or there's people out here that think I do matter.
00:44:10
Speaker
And that's all people need sometimes.
00:44:13
Speaker
Like you don't have to do this grandiose thing.
00:44:15
Speaker
It is literally sometimes, sometimes people just want to know that somebody cares.
00:44:20
Speaker
And if you sit down and you say something like that,
00:44:22
Speaker
maybe that's all that person needed the other day i took an uber or a lyft whatever and i i sat down and uh they said matt i said yeah and they drove off i said how's your day going that's all right i said why just all right why not great and they went well it's just a busy day okay it's a busy day but hey you got a job you woke up above ground right well yeah okay what are you doing this weekend and
00:44:49
Speaker
Well, there's a concert I want to see.
00:44:51
Speaker
There you go.
00:44:51
Speaker
You're going to go to a concert.
00:44:52
Speaker
And just like snap people out of that pattern, that state.
00:44:57
Speaker
And that's all it takes is honestly – it's literally just a matter of kindness.
00:45:00
Speaker
Kindness, love.
00:45:01
Speaker
Real simple.
00:45:02
Speaker
Telling people – simple.
00:45:03
Speaker
It's like how you doing?
00:45:04
Speaker
Hey, I'm great.
00:45:05
Speaker
I woke up.
00:45:05
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:45:06
Speaker
Dude, exactly.
00:45:07
Speaker
Dude, are we the same person?
00:45:08
Speaker
What's going on here?
00:45:09
Speaker
How are you feeling?
00:45:10
Speaker
I'm phenomenal.
00:45:10
Speaker
I like that word.
00:45:11
Speaker
Bro, yes.
00:45:12
Speaker
Thank you.
00:45:12
Speaker
Can I – okay, you just got me real excited.
00:45:14
Speaker
For real.
00:45:15
Speaker
Every time somebody asks me, how are you?
00:45:17
Speaker
Phenomenal.
00:45:18
Speaker
Excellent.
00:45:19
Speaker
Excellent.
00:45:20
Speaker
How many times has somebody said to you, how are you feeling?
00:45:25
Speaker
Oh, not bad.
00:45:26
Speaker
Right?
00:45:27
Speaker
Anyone listen to this.
00:45:28
Speaker
How many times have you said that?
00:45:29
Speaker
You probably say that every time.
00:45:30
Speaker
Oh, not bad.
00:45:31
Speaker
Why are you afraid to say, I am amazing?
00:45:34
Speaker
I'm amazing.
00:45:34
Speaker
I had a freaking phenomenal day.
00:45:36
Speaker
Why not?
00:45:37
Speaker
Why are you afraid to say that?
00:45:38
Speaker
Because maybe you're afraid they're not having a good day.
00:45:41
Speaker
Guess what?
00:45:42
Speaker
If you say that, that brings them up.
00:45:45
Speaker
Yes.
00:45:45
Speaker
When you – we talked about accepting negative energy.
00:45:48
Speaker
If you don't accept that negative energy –
00:45:52
Speaker
It forces that person to come up to your level.
00:45:55
Speaker
Yes.
00:45:56
Speaker
Energy.
00:45:57
Speaker
Come on, baby, baby.
00:45:57
Speaker
It's real.
00:45:58
Speaker
It's real.
00:45:59
Speaker
If somebody says something negative, what are they trying to do?
00:46:03
Speaker
They're trying to pull you down to where they're at.
00:46:05
Speaker
Because they're in that state.
00:46:06
Speaker
They're in that state.
00:46:07
Speaker
Nope.
00:46:09
Speaker
But thank you.
00:46:09
Speaker
And what's wrong?
00:46:10
Speaker
Are you okay?
00:46:11
Speaker
Whoa, just broke my pattern.
00:46:12
Speaker
This guy cares about me.
00:46:13
Speaker
You just bumped him up a little bit.
00:46:15
Speaker
Come on.
00:46:16
Speaker
What's wrong?
00:46:16
Speaker
Talk to me.
00:46:16
Speaker
Talk to me.
00:46:17
Speaker
You're just bumping him up, right?
00:46:18
Speaker
It's like, you know, really, and at the end of the day, it's both a selfless thing and a selfish thing, which is perfectly fine because the way that it's selfless is obviously you want to help that person.
00:46:29
Speaker
But it's selfish in that...
00:46:32
Speaker
You're really helping yourself because you – if you accept that negative energy or try to come down, you're only hurting yourself.
00:46:38
Speaker
Like there's some people that they want to build the tallest building in their city or for themselves.
00:46:45
Speaker
Let's say yourself as a city.
00:46:46
Speaker
Well, a lot of ways people do that is they try – there's two ways of building the biggest building in town.
00:46:52
Speaker
Again, this is like a little Tony Robbins action I think right now.
00:46:55
Speaker
You can – there's two ways.
00:46:56
Speaker
One, you can tear down everybody else's building.
00:46:58
Speaker
That will give you the tallest building.
00:47:00
Speaker
Or you can work on your building and building the greatest building that you possibly can.
00:47:06
Speaker
So there's two ways.
00:47:07
Speaker
And there's the thing.
00:47:08
Speaker
We've got to wrap up here, but before we go – Oh, come on.
00:47:11
Speaker
I've got water in my mouth.
00:47:13
Speaker
I'm not done.
00:47:13
Speaker
I know.
00:47:14
Speaker
I know.
00:47:14
Speaker
Come on, man.
00:47:14
Speaker
We're dropping gems, bro.
00:47:16
Speaker
We definitely got to hang out more and –
00:47:18
Speaker
We're friends for sure.
00:47:19
Speaker
Can I come back in here?
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah, of course.
00:47:21
Speaker
What I will say, which you just said about the buildings, I tell people the hardest work you're ever doing in life is on yourself.
00:47:27
Speaker
And I also want to commend you for being here, for talking about your depression and your video.
00:47:32
Speaker
But why not?
00:47:33
Speaker
It's nothing.
00:47:34
Speaker
Right, but what I'm saying is people in your space, with your following and with your fan base, most people...
00:47:40
Speaker
probably won't do that because they might fear the resistance or the negativity.
00:47:44
Speaker
Like, oh, you're trying to use that.
00:47:46
Speaker
You want people to feel bad and, you know, love you more or whatever.
00:47:49
Speaker
So I just want to say thank you for having a bigger conversation with us about that.
00:47:53
Speaker
Thank you for coming, sharing your light, your wisdom, your energy, your awesomeness.
00:47:59
Speaker
And this is amazing.
00:48:01
Speaker
I think people out here listening, if you do have a mental issue or there is some depression or some stress, speak up.
00:48:07
Speaker
There's people that want to help.
00:48:09
Speaker
I mean, follow this guy on YouTube.
00:48:10
Speaker
I mean, I do a lot of motivation on my Instagram.
00:48:12
Speaker
But I think also people in that state, they should be around positive, uplifting people because energy is real and it helps.
00:48:20
Speaker
And some people, energy can depict your mood.
00:48:22
Speaker
And we need that.
00:48:23
Speaker
We need more people like you.
00:48:25
Speaker
And it's important.
00:48:26
Speaker
And I just want to say thank you.
00:48:28
Speaker
Thanks, man.
00:48:28
Speaker
Where can we find you?
00:48:30
Speaker
Man, I'm everywhere, man.
00:48:31
Speaker
YouTube, Instagram.
00:48:33
Speaker
By the way, this guy might be the flyest guest we had.
00:48:35
Speaker
He got Yeezys, the Babe Jagger.
00:48:37
Speaker
Come on.
00:48:38
Speaker
I didn't want to talk about it.
00:48:39
Speaker
Got the hair mask bracelet on?
00:48:40
Speaker
Come on, man.
00:48:41
Speaker
I got that Babe on.
00:48:44
Speaker
No, I like a little fashion one as well.
00:48:45
Speaker
But yeah, thanks, man.
00:48:47
Speaker
I appreciate that.
00:48:48
Speaker
So before we go, finish this sentence.
00:48:51
Speaker
I am...
00:48:53
Speaker
One word?
00:48:54
Speaker
Whatever comes to mind.
00:48:57
Speaker
I mean two words came to my mind when you said that.
00:49:00
Speaker
Love and power.
00:49:01
Speaker
I am powerful and I am love.
00:49:04
Speaker
I am love and I am power.
00:49:06
Speaker
Like I am limitless in my potential and I am a loving being of energy.
00:49:10
Speaker
Those are the first two words that came to my head.
00:49:12
Speaker
Love is –
00:49:15
Speaker
Us.
00:49:15
Speaker
You.
00:49:16
Speaker
It just is.
00:49:17
Speaker
It's everywhere.
00:49:17
Speaker
It's you.
00:49:18
Speaker
Like that's the thing.
00:49:19
Speaker
We are – like we are created from love.
00:49:22
Speaker
Like whatever you want to call that god, the universe, like energy, the source energy.
00:49:27
Speaker
Like you can call – it's all the same thing, right?
00:49:30
Speaker
Like to me, we all pray to the same god.
00:49:32
Speaker
Like whether you call it like Allah, God, whatever.
00:49:34
Speaker
It's all –
00:49:35
Speaker
like that's why i don't understand yeah that's why i don't understand like the conflicts in the world it's like at the end of the day we're all there's there's a higher being and we're all going to meet that thing whatever he or she is or it so it's like you know i'm saying but we all come from that so you know it's it's it's the things of this world that pervert that and and and corrupt us and that's where like mental health stuff comes from it's like
00:49:58
Speaker
It's like you're getting away.
00:49:59
Speaker
If you just approach things with love, you'd be shocked at how your life would change.
00:50:03
Speaker
And it comes down to not accepting the gift of negative energy.
00:50:06
Speaker
Try that.
00:50:07
Speaker
Literally, can I just say one thing before we go?
00:50:09
Speaker
I literally, anyone listening right now, next time somebody, and I really mean this, and this is going to sound crazy to you, but I want you to just try it once.
00:50:17
Speaker
It's not going to kill you.
00:50:19
Speaker
Next time somebody does something real negative to you,
00:50:22
Speaker
With all the love in your heart, say, you know what?
00:50:25
Speaker
No, thank you.
00:50:27
Speaker
I don't accept your gift of negative energy, but I hope you have a better day.
00:50:31
Speaker
And I hope you, you know, I have nothing but love for you.
00:50:34
Speaker
They're going to look at you like you have three heads.
00:50:36
Speaker
Like, what is wrong?
00:50:37
Speaker
What do you mean not Monday?
00:50:39
Speaker
But watch their reaction.
00:50:40
Speaker
They're going to, what you just did was push it back at them.
00:50:44
Speaker
Because they're just going to get more angry because you didn't take some of that off them.
00:50:48
Speaker
So it builds up in them.
00:50:50
Speaker
But,
00:50:51
Speaker
That's not for you to change.
00:50:53
Speaker
And I want people just try that once.
00:50:55
Speaker
You don't have to make that your mantra, but try it once.
00:50:58
Speaker
Next time that happens, no thank you.
00:51:01
Speaker
Real calm.
00:51:01
Speaker
Just don't let it – don't even let it through.
00:51:04
Speaker
No thanks.
00:51:05
Speaker
I don't accept your gift of negative energy.
00:51:06
Speaker
But hey, you know what?
00:51:07
Speaker
It sounds like you're going through a tough day.
00:51:09
Speaker
I really want the best for you and I got nothing but love for you.
00:51:11
Speaker
And like maybe we'll talk later and it will be all good for you.
00:51:15
Speaker
Man.
00:51:16
Speaker
Just do that.
00:51:16
Speaker
Watch what happens.
00:51:17
Speaker
Watch what happens.
00:51:18
Speaker
I mean, we got so much love for you just for giving that advice.
00:51:20
Speaker
So thank you once again, people.
00:51:23
Speaker
Rate, review, subscribe, follow Matt.
00:51:26
Speaker
Matt Santoro, YouTube sensation, comedian, author.
00:51:30
Speaker
I can find you everywhere, right?
00:51:31
Speaker
Yeah, man.
00:51:32
Speaker
The biggest things – I mean I literally am on everything.
00:51:35
Speaker
Right now, YouTube, of course, I make like information – I call it infotainment with a twist of comedy.
00:51:41
Speaker
So like top tens.
00:51:42
Speaker
I have a series called 50 Amazing Facts.
00:51:44
Speaker
It's just amazing.
00:51:44
Speaker
If you go on Facebook and you see like random facts or like you follow like OMG facts or anything like that, that's what I do but on my YouTube channel.
00:51:52
Speaker
um so check me out there i started a brand called uh fact maniac which is a side brand of mine not has nothing to do with me it's its own thing i really believe in it uh i want to put on this podcast right now it's going to be huge one day i really believe that and i'm putting that into the universe and trust me it's going to be huge one day fact maniac it's going to be its own thing it's going to have a cartoon it's going to have plush dolls it's going to have all that but right now
00:52:16
Speaker
It's just a social media presence.
00:52:17
Speaker
It's Twitter.
00:52:18
Speaker
It's Facebook.
00:52:19
Speaker
It's Instagram.
00:52:19
Speaker
Go check it out.
00:52:20
Speaker
It's just like info cards like, hey, did you know that Walt Disney was fired from his newspaper because he wasn't creative enough?
00:52:27
Speaker
That's an actual thing.
00:52:28
Speaker
There you go.
00:52:28
Speaker
Facts.
00:52:29
Speaker
Facts.
00:52:29
Speaker
So check that out.
00:52:30
Speaker
Check me out on Twitter and Instagram and Snapchat if you still use that.
00:52:33
Speaker
It's just at Matthew Santoro on all social media platforms.
00:52:36
Speaker
I would like to take a moment to thank our sponsors who bring our podcast to you free every week, especially True Car.
00:52:41
Speaker
When you're looking to buy a new or used car, visit True Car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience.
00:52:47
Speaker
There it is, people.
00:52:47
Speaker
Fact Maniac, Matt Santoro, Bigger Talks.
00:52:50
Speaker
Rate, review, subscribe.
00:52:51
Speaker
Give us feedback.
00:52:52
Speaker
Let us know.
00:52:53
Speaker
Tune in, listen in.
00:52:54
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:52:54
Speaker
This was a good one.
00:52:55
Speaker
Thank you, Matt.
00:52:56
Speaker
Olivia, thank you.
00:52:57
Speaker
Mike, thank you.
00:52:59
Speaker
We did it.
00:52:59
Speaker
It's a miracle season.
00:53:00
Speaker
Bigger Talks, we out.
00:53:01
Speaker
Peace.
00:53:01
Speaker
Thanks for listening to Bigger Talks with Eric Bigger.
00:53:05
Speaker
Check out new episodes every Wednesday exclusively on Apple Podcasts, the new Podcast One app, or download the show at podcastone.com.
00:53:13
Speaker
I'm Donna DeIrico.
00:53:14
Speaker
And I'm Cherise Neal.
00:53:15
Speaker
We've traveled the world, created businesses, acted for film and television, and all since breaking up with our Motley Cruex husband.
00:53:22
Speaker
Join us for our new podcast, Single AF, where we'll be talking about the three Ds.
00:53:27
Speaker
Dating, dealbreakers, and d**ks.
00:53:29
Speaker
No, girl, douchebags and drugs, but yes, definitely d**ks.
00:53:32
Speaker
Oh, good.
00:53:33
Speaker
Listen free and subscribe to Single AF exclusively on Apple Podcasts, PodcastOne.com, and the Podcast One app.
00:53:39
Speaker
If you love the show, share it with a friend and leave us a rating and review.
00:53:42
Speaker
Shifting gears, let's talk Southern California traffic.
00:53:45
Speaker
Most of us spend a lot of time in our cars, so having the right one.
00:53:49
Speaker
makes all the difference in the world.
00:53:51
Speaker
You want a car that's reliable, safe, and has superior performance.
00:53:55
Speaker
That's Toyota.
00:53:56
Speaker
From the RAV4 to the Tundra to the best-selling Camry, Toyota offers a more comfortable trip from point A to point B. Plus, Toyota has a full line of super-efficient hybrids.
00:54:07
Speaker
Visit buyatoyota.com to find a model that fits your lifestyle.
00:54:11
Speaker
Your Southern California Toyota dealers make it easy.
00:54:14
Speaker
Toyota.
00:54:15
Speaker
Let's go places.
00:54:16
Speaker
Southern California is synonymous with driving.
00:54:19
Speaker
And since you can expect to put a lot of miles on your car each day, MPGs matter.
00:54:24
Speaker
So Toyota offers a full line of fuel-efficient hybrid cars.
00:54:28
Speaker
Leading the way is, of course, the groundbreaking Prius.
00:54:31
Speaker
But Toyota doesn't stop there.
00:54:33
Speaker
Their hybrid lineup also includes the reliable Camry hybrid, the sporty RAV4 hybrid, and the spacious Highlander hybrid.
00:54:40
Speaker
which means less time at the gas station and more thought to the environment.
00:54:44
Speaker
Visit buyatoyota.com to learn more.
00:54:47
Speaker
Your Southern California Toyota dealers make it easy.
00:54:50
Speaker
Toyota, let's go places.
00:54:52
Speaker
Closer to the border.
00:54:53
Speaker
I'm Ed Donoghue with an AP News Minute.
00:54:56
Speaker
Thousands of migrants from Honduras have reached southern Mexico.
00:55:01
Speaker
People are sleeping in the streets.
00:55:03
Speaker
They have had to deal with severe heat on their journey.
00:55:06
Speaker
It's not stopping people like Luis Porto.
00:55:09
Speaker
We're going to fight.
00:55:10
Speaker
We're going to keep on going.
00:55:12
Speaker
We're not going to stop.
00:55:13
Speaker
President Trump wants to stop them.
00:55:15
Speaker
I think some bad people started that caravan.
00:55:19
Speaker
More importantly, or maybe almost as importantly, you have some very, very bad people in the caravan.
00:55:26
Speaker
You have some very tough criminal elements within the caravan.
00:55:30
Speaker
And the president talked about bringing, possibly bringing the military to the border.
00:55:34
Speaker
Former NFL wide receiver Ray Carruth has been released from prison in North Carolina.
00:55:38
Speaker
He served 18 years for conspiring to murder the mother of his unborn child.
00:55:43
Speaker
The child was delivered by emergency cesarean section, but suffers from permanent brain damage and cerebral palsy.
00:55:49
Speaker
I'm Ed Donoghue.