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#161 - Discover Your Why: The Mindset Secret Behind Lasting Health and Habit Change
917 Plays1 month ago
Can I be honest with you? Most of us already know what we should be doing. The information isn't the problem. So why is it still so hard?
That's what I'm digging into this week — and I think it's one of the most important conversations we can have on your health journey.
Sustainable change isn't about finding the perfect plan. It's about mindset. Because no matter how good your programme is, motivation will dip, life will get in the way, and ordinary Tuesday evenings will test you. That's where most people fall down — not because they're lazy, but because they haven't got a strong enough anchor.
That anchor is your why.
In this episode, I walk you through four strategies to uncover yours, guide you through the Five Whys journaling exercise with a worked example, and share the research behind why a values-rooted why beats motivation every single time.
This one is close to my heart. I hope it lands for you 💜
In this episode:
- 00:00 Welcome and Topic
- 00:42 Why Mindset Drives Lasting Change
- 02:31 Why Diets and Plans Keep Failing
- 04:25 The Power of a Strong Why
- 08:28 Motivation vs. Your Why
- 10:06 Journaling to Discover Your Why
- 11:03 Four Strategies to Uncover Your Why
- 13:46 The Five Whys Exercise
- 15:41 How to Live Your Why Every Day
- 17:22 Allowing Your Why to Evolve
- 19:24 The Science Behind Purpose
- 21:12 Wrap Up and Next Steps
Links & Resources:
- Learn more about KHH coaching here
- Subscribe to my weekly coaching newsletter here
- Access my FREE calorie calculator here
- Connect with me on Instagram here
- Connect with me on Facebook here
- Connect with me on TikTok here
- Connect with me on YouTube here
If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with friends who might benefit.
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Transcript
Introduction to Mindset and 'Why' for Sustainable Change
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the podcast. So today's episode is going to be mindset heavy. We are going to discuss the topic of discovering
Mindset's Role in Lasting Habit and Lifestyle Change
00:00:10
Speaker
your why. Now, bear with me with this, because this may sound cliche, it may sound a sound a little bit cheesy, but I can promise you that this will be one of the most important things that you will put in place if you are looking to create sustainable long-term change to your habits, to your lifestyle, and to your health. If you've been listening to me long enough, you've probably heard me talk about this before. I've probably even done an episode on this before, but I want to do it ah again because that's how important it is. And I want to, yeah, just add more to this topic that I may not have in previous episodes. So the first thing I'll say is mindset is absolutely everything.
Automatic Behaviors and the Need for Mindful Adjustments
00:00:46
Speaker
What I've learned over the past few years of coaching thousands of women is no matter what you are trying to achieve or overcome in your life, the most important thing in being successful is your mindset, your perspective and how you perceive and react to situations.
00:01:06
Speaker
Your experience of the world around you very much comes from your mindset, your perspective and how you perceive and react to situations. And there's a huge difference as well between reacting to something and responding intentionally to something. And these are all things that on this journey I help and guide you with as well but mindset work is such a huge part of this health and fitness journey and the reason why is a lot of our habits like that we need to put in we need to put in place or you know that we need to change
00:01:39
Speaker
Habit change is hard and we tend to operate mostly on automatic behaviors.
Awareness and Implementation of Healthy Habits
00:01:45
Speaker
And this comes from our subconscious mind and it is very difficult to change. it's like a program. We've been deeply programmed for so long.
00:01:53
Speaker
with these automatic behaviors that makes life easy, that keeps us from harm. Our body and our brain is protecting us from what it perceives as harm, even if it's just difficult emotions that we're trying to avoid. So a lot of habits that we have in place are very difficult to change because our body is so used and our mind is so used to doing them. And this is why mindset work is so important. So to be able to become aware of our automatic behaviors, become aware of our thoughts, our perceptions, and then intentionally put in what we want into our lives and into our mindsets so that we can start moving in the direction that we want to go.
00:02:31
Speaker
It's also really important to note that nothing changes if nothing changes. OK, so if you've tried all the diets before and it hasn't worked and you've tried everything and you're just getting so hopeless, you're I can't do this.
00:02:44
Speaker
Maybe this is it. Maybe it's like right now I need to start looking at my mindset. And I know that this is where real change happens is in the mindset work, in the digging deep. in that it's not although scientifically technically it's energy in versus energy out calories in versus calories out eating a little bit less less calories moving a little bit more and that's what helps us to lose body fat but it's not that simple it's like we are complex creatures and we need a lot more and care and consideration than just calories in versus calories out
00:03:17
Speaker
Another point I think to make is that for a lot of us, we like we know what to do.
Navigating Health Information and Social Media Confusion
00:03:23
Speaker
Like the information is there for us. Like it's never been easier to get the information on, you know, how much protein should I eat in a day? How many portions of fruit and vegetables should I eat? Is walking enough cardio? How do I resistance train? Like all of this information is available to us on the Internet. Now, albeit there's.
00:03:41
Speaker
information overload and we get confused because there's there's conflicting advice, particularly on social media as to what is healthy and what should we and shouldn't we be doing. And that can be very difficult and confusing. And that's what I hope this this podcast is a little bit of a safe haven from the chaos out there.
00:03:58
Speaker
And I keep it science backed. I keep it realistic and keep it balanced. So Like i said, a lot of us know how to, how, how we should
The Importance of a Strong 'Why' in Health Goals
00:04:10
Speaker
be eating. We know that we should be exercising more. We know we should be sleeping more. We know we should be eating less or eating, not eating, drinking less alcohol. Let's say, you know, we know all the things that we know, but knowing it and actually doing it are two very different things. Okay. This isn't a problem of knowing how it's a symptom of not having a strong and enough. Why your why is the missing ingredient here? And it's not even that.
00:04:36
Speaker
you don't know what your why, and your your why isn't strong enough. Chances are you're so busy. You've actually never even thought about it. You're like, yeah, I need to lose weight. I need to get healthier. I need to not keep gaining weight. I need to keep up with my kids. You know why you want to lose weight or you know why you want to get fitter or healthier, but you haven't really given it any thought and you've only scratched the surface. And when we start to dig deeper, this becomes a really, really powerful tool for us to use.
00:05:06
Speaker
when we are finding it difficult to move forward, when we face challenges. Because that's one thing as well that I think, you know, when people sign up to coaching, whether it's my coaching, someone else's coaching, or they sign up to a diet or a plan or whatever they do,
00:05:21
Speaker
They, i think there's this kind of misconception that, oh, I've
Overcoming Obstacles with a Strong Anchor
00:05:26
Speaker
signed up to this. This will be easy. you know It's going to fix my problems and everything's going to be great and I'm going to get to my goal.
00:05:32
Speaker
But it doesn't matter what you sign up to. You are going to encounter problems. You are going to encounter obstacles and it's going to be hard because change is hard. So you need something to anchor you through the difficulties and through life as well. Because if you are looking to change your diet, add more exercise in, Just have general healthier habits.
00:05:53
Speaker
Life is going to get in the way. It's never going to be perfect. it's So it's your lifestyle. So it has to work within your life. And you have to have something anchoring you to what's important to you amidst the chaos that is life, the good chaos and the bad chaos and all the ordinary time that's in between. And I always talk about that ordinary time. i always feel a bit like a Catholic priest. I'm talking about ordinary times like, you know, Advent and Lent and then all the bits in between is ordinary time. But that's what it's true. That ordinary time.
00:06:20
Speaker
when it's not the big special occasions or the holidays or the Christmases and it's not the really bad times when something has happened to someone we love or, you know, it's particularly stressful, stressful situation going on in your family. When we're talking with the ordinary time, the kids are in school, you're going to work, you're coming home, you're watching TV or day you like that day to day stuff that makes up most of our lives.
00:06:42
Speaker
That's the important time. And It's important that we anchor ourselves in a really clear, strong why to put the habits that we want in place to be living our dreams and to be moving towards our goals in that ordinary time. And then that strong why will anchor us.
00:07:00
Speaker
And it's it's like a magnet that will bring us back to what we want to do to live that life when the chaos settles down and we'll always come back to it. And that's what we're going to do today.
00:07:12
Speaker
So what is your why? So what is the reason or reasons for taking this
Deep Reflection on Health Journey Motivations
00:07:19
Speaker
journey? If I'm presuming if you're listening to this episode that you are on some sort of a health journey, whether you're looking, whether you're losing weight, whether you're gaining strength, whether you're training for something, whether like what it doesn't like everyone listening will have different goals.
00:07:34
Speaker
And if you've started or you're thinking of starting, what is the reason? And really take some time to think about this. Initially, you might just be like, because I want to lose two stone or because I want to run a 5K or because I want to look good on my holidays in the summer.
00:07:51
Speaker
Or I want to be a size 12 by Christmas or, you know, whatever it is that yeah like everyone has a why or maybe they have a picture that they saw of themselves. And they're like, because I never want to look like that or feel like that again.
00:08:05
Speaker
It like, you know, it doesn't matter whether it's positive or negative, but what is your reason for being on this health journey? It might have been a health scare as well. But really do think about this. Why you need a as well is your why acts as inspiration when things get hard. As I've said, without it, motivation fades at the first obstacle. And with the strong why, the sacrifices feel worth it. OK, so motivation.
00:08:31
Speaker
I hate motivation. the term motivation or I didn't feel motivated. I'm not motivated to do Motivation is like one of those friends, you know, those friends that like that, you know, the party friends, they're there for the good times, they're there in the pub, they're there at the parties.
00:08:46
Speaker
But when life gets difficult and you really need them, they're not there. They're only there. They're this the surface level friends. That's exactly what motivation is. Motivation is a surface level friend. And there's nothing wrong with those type of friends. You can go to the party and they can be quite often the life and soul of the party and you have the best nights with these people.
00:09:06
Speaker
But so it's OK to go and relax and enjoy and, you know, enjoy their company in the in the good times, in the moment. Likewise, with motivation, when you feel motivated, ride the wave, use the motivation to push yourself on a little for forward. Absolutely. But you cannot rely on motivation to carry you the whole way through this healthy lifestyle to your goals.
00:09:30
Speaker
But it's your why that's going to do that. Your why must be powerful. OK, surface level reason won't sustain you. So I need to lose two stone. That's not going to sustain you. This needs to be a strong, deep emotion and something that make that you actually feel it in you, like whether it's in your chest or your tummy or wherever it is that you feel it like it's bursting out of you. it's That's how strong that this emotion feels. So your why isn't is a feeling. right And you need to to really start to dig deep, which I'm going to teach you how.
Strategies to Discover Your 'Why'
00:09:59
Speaker
Some of you might know this already as I'm talking, you're like, yeah, I know. I know exactly. And I never really thought about it that way. But now that I do, this changes everything for me. So if you will need to do a little bit more digging. So get a notebook or a journal and get a pen.
00:10:14
Speaker
You can do this now and you can pause me and and do this exercise as you go, or else you can listen and you can go back and do this at another stage. But we are going to try and find your why.
00:10:26
Speaker
OK. It is totally understandable if you can't immediately think of your why, because like that, week have busy minds. You know, you might be listening to me while you're driving someone to or from football practice or you're trying to cook your dinner or you're sorting washing in your house while you're listening to this podcast. There's lots of different. Usually we listen to podcasts while we're busy. So usually our minds are like, go, go, go, go of all different things we have to do. So you might need some time to just go take a walk. You might need some time to.
00:10:52
Speaker
really reflect it on what I've spoken about here and then tonight sit down with a and put pen to paper and have a little think. Okay. So here's four powerful strategies to start finding your why.
00:11:07
Speaker
So the first one is lean into the negative. So what happens if you don't make these changes that you want to make? What does that mean for your health, your family, your future?
00:11:19
Speaker
Sometimes our fear can be our greatest motivator. And the thing is, we don't need to continue to live from fear, but it can be a starting point and be like, I don't want whatever it is to happen.
00:11:33
Speaker
And you can use that. And then as you start to journal on that, be like, well, what's the opposite of that? What do I want to happen? What do I what do I want this outcome to be? And that becomes ah your strong why.
00:11:46
Speaker
The second strategy that you can use is recall effortless sacrifices. So think of times when making a sacrifice felt easier because the reason mattered enough.
00:11:57
Speaker
What made you cope with difficulty so naturally then? And usually, you know, if you think about these sacrifice effort effortless sacrifices you've had to make, you know, for your kids or for your parents or for your loved ones or for your friends or whatever, that you did something difficult or something uncomfortable, but you did it for them.
00:12:14
Speaker
Really kind of reflect on on what was what was it that actually gave you the strength to do that? Because you can use that for yourself as well.
00:12:26
Speaker
And a third one is imagine your legacy. You're not around forever. Ask yourself, how do I want to be remembered? What values and achievements matter most? when you think about your life story.
00:12:39
Speaker
So do you want to be remembered as someone who did something, as someone who stood for something? And we all do things and we all stand for things. And sometimes we just get so busy with the little things we forget about the big things. So taking a little bit of time to think about that can help too.
Applying the '5 Whys' Exercise
00:12:59
Speaker
And the fourth strategy then is start where you are. Maybe you started because you felt like you should. Maybe the doctor told you you needed to to start this journey. Maybe comments by family that you need to do something. Maybe you feel a little bit pressured into making changes. That's OK.
00:13:15
Speaker
It's a starting point. Maybe you are here out of fear. You're like, I'm afraid I'm going to have a heart attack. I'm afraid I'm going to get diabetes. I'm afraid that my joints are so sore I'm not going to be able to walk in a year's time. but like you know, and these are real things.
00:13:32
Speaker
fears and worries. It doesn't matter what has you here in the first place. It's a starting point. and Let's make it more empowering and personal to you. Okay. So this is just one part of it and it can be a big part of it, but we're going to do the five wise exercise. so this is where you need to put pen to paper.
00:13:53
Speaker
So the very first thing is why, why are you on this journey? So at this stage, you might have a surface level reason. And then what you need to do is ask yourself why five times.
00:14:05
Speaker
OK, each time digging a little deeper. I'm going to give you an example of this so that you can do it for yourself. Obviously, you know, don't cut your mind directly because it won't be the same thing. This was my five whys exercise.
00:14:20
Speaker
Why? Why do you want? Why? Why am I on this journey? I want to lose 50 pounds. Why? Why do I want to lose 50 pounds? Because I want to get fit. Why do I want to get fit?
00:14:31
Speaker
Because I find it hard to walk uphill and I don't like it.
00:14:37
Speaker
Why? Because I'm worried about my health. Why? Because I want to be around for as long as possible. Why? Because I want to be there for my children and travel the world and have lots of adventures.
00:14:52
Speaker
and be as strong and mobile and independent for as long as possible. Do you see how quickly that gets deeper? And then it's like, I am someone, it's my identity now. I am someone who lifts weights. I am someone who walks every day. I am someone who fuels and nourishes their body.
00:15:10
Speaker
I am someone that lives with balance as well. because I want to experience life to the fullest. But I also want to experience life for as long as possible to the fullest. So that needs that balance. So it's about finding your why. i can be totally different for everyone. and everyone's values are not the same. So really, like as you're doing this exercise, make sure it's your values, make sure it's your goals, make sure it's personal to you. Chronologically, you'll probably have done the goal setting exercise already. So this would be m the next in line.
00:15:42
Speaker
So living your why every day. So this is kind of important as well. So this isn't just an exercise you do and
Integrating 'Why' into Daily Life
00:15:47
Speaker
I just forget about it. OK, do put it into your journal and keep your journal close at all times. OK, maybe by your bedside locker, look at it regularly. When things get tough, go back and read your why. When you, you know, that cold, wet winter night when you don't want to go out for your walk, but you know that you've committed to.
00:16:06
Speaker
And it's very easy to give into your excuses. Read your why. That will help you make that decision. And sometimes it's OK to like, it's not about being perfect. It's not about always making the right decision, but it's always centric, bringing yourself back to it.
00:16:20
Speaker
And that's what's important. As well as having it in your journal, it can be really helpful to write or draw it out and put it somewhere visible every day, a bit like a vision board. OK, except this isn't for goals. It's for your why.
00:16:32
Speaker
So, you know, some people will be more visually creative and artistic than others. And some people will be a little bit more like me, a bit more teachery and list like. It doesn't matter your why. It can be whatever way. It can be a list. It can be a brainstorm. It can be a mind map. It can be a picture. It can be whatever makes sense to you. So write, draw it out, make a class, whatever, and put it somewhere somewhere you can see it every day because that means you're not fixating on it, but you're seeing it every day and it's a daily reminder of what's important. And so you can put it on your ah wardrobe door, your fridge, you can make it your phone wallpaper. I personally like the idea of your why being kept on the back of your wardrobe door. It's a little bit more personal. It's not if anyone who comes into your house is reading it.
00:17:14
Speaker
But every morning when you're getting dressed, you see it and it's a reminder before you're ready to take on the day. And I think that can be really, really useful. It's also important to note that your why will evolve as you evolve and that's OK. So as you grow and change, your why will grow and change also. And that and that's beautiful. That's what that's exactly what's supposed to happen. So if you you have to work with what you feel for now, but this is why it is important to just make this the center of everything, because as things change,
00:17:47
Speaker
if Like, you know, as well, like, for example, when I i was introduc introducing a daily walk into my routine, it, you know, it used to be a bit of a chore, but I was like, I did it because my why was I had to hit 10,000 steps every day. My why was to lose body fat. My why was, you know, to get healthier and fitter. Now I feel like I am healthier and I am fitter.
00:18:10
Speaker
But along the way, somewhere along the way, I realize I love my walks and my walks are much more about my mental health. Yes, they're still for my physical health. But if there's a day where I can't get a walk in, I'm it's not my physical health that I feel takes the hit that day. It's my mental health. So I will as much as possible try and get a walk in every day because it's my me time. The movement of energy through my body just makes me feel good. But that wasn't why initially, but it is now. So do you see it will develop over time?
00:18:39
Speaker
Be patient with yourself. If you don't immediately find values and incentives that motivate you, don't be frustrated. It takes time. Keep journaling and reflecting. And it doesn't have to be a huge journaling exercise that you to put an hour or two side, like five minutes before bed every night. Do a little bit more work on this until you get really, really clear what the fuck you want and what the fuck you are about. Because that is at
Scientific Evidence on the Power of a Personal 'Why'
00:19:04
Speaker
the end of the day. Once you know what you want, you know what you're about you'll know what's not important and what is important. And it's such a great, it's such a freeing,
00:19:15
Speaker
filtering system to get rid of all the bullshit, to get rid of all the stuff that doesn't matter and just focus on what matters to you. And that's so, so important. Just before I finish up as well, in case, you know, you're like this, Kate, this is a lovely TED talk and everything. I'm feeling super motivated, but yeah, like, you know, this is not really, you know, evidence-based. I'm here to tell you what very much is. Okay. There is science behind purpose and motivation. So I'm going to give a few examples here. So with psychology, the self-determination theory, there is a study that found that intrinsic motivation driven by personal values and meaning produces far greater long term behavior change than external pressure or a war or reward. The power of why is another. So Simon Sinek, who wrote Start With Why,
00:20:02
Speaker
His research showed that people who are driven by a clear personal why demonstrate greater resilience, persistence and satisfaction in pursuit of their goals. And then in relation to goal clarity and success, Locke and Latham's goal setting theory in 2002 demonstrates that personally meaningful, emotionally connected goals lead to significantly higher achievement rates. And finally, in relation to values based change,
00:20:29
Speaker
Acceptance and commitment therapy research confirms that action aligned with core values is the most reliable predictor of lasting behavior change, even through discomfort. So no matter how hard it gets, the more you can connect emotionally to why you are doing it, the more resilient you're going to be, the more likely you are to stick it out. And even if, you know, you fall off a little bit, you'll get yourself back up and you'll go again because it's important to you. And that is the magic connecting what you want, but what is important to you and what needs to be done in order to get to where you want to go and tying that in with what's deep down super important to
Encouragement to Apply Strategies and Share Insights
00:21:12
Speaker
you.
00:21:12
Speaker
I hope that was helpful and a little bit deeper than when we're just talking about protein or whatever. But please do take this seriously. If you've tried all the diets and nothing has worked, this could be the one thing that's been missing all along.
00:21:26
Speaker
it could actually be the breakthrough that you're waiting for. So take it seriously. I would always love to hear how people get on when they do this exercise. If you have an aha moment, please do reach out, let me know. And thank you so much for listening and making it to the end of the episode. I appreciate you all so much. As always, if you like the episode, please do share it with your friends. Tag me if you're sharing it on your stories. And if you are not already, could you subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen to the podcast? Because every subscriber subscriber makes a huge difference.
00:22:01
Speaker
And lastly, if you are interested in a little bit more support, a little bit more structure, a little bit of more of this kind of stuff, this is what we do within the Nourish Her coaching program. so check the show notes. I have a link there to all the coaching information.
00:22:16
Speaker
for when our next intake is and i will talk to you all in the next episode thank you so much