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Ep 4 • Is Listening to Joe Rogan a RED FLAG?!
59 Plays1 year ago
What does being a communist and being a MAGA republican have in common? This week, we run down a list of all the biggest red flags in dating. And if you miss one second of this episode, sorry babe, but you're the biggest red flag of them all.
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Milestone
00:00:04
Speaker
Hi, I'm Lina. And I'm Kiara. And you're listening to Take It To Go, a one-stop shop podcast about all things life, love, and lol worthy. Today we are talking about all the red flags from dating. No, I don't like that. We're getting into it. We're getting into it. You don't like that? I don't like that. Can we talk about green flags too?
00:00:29
Speaker
We can talk about green flags too. We can talk about green flags, beige flags, red flags, all the flags. We're talking about all flags that you see in dating, but mostly red flags. But first, I want to point something out. I was doing some podcast research, and you know what I learned, Lena? What? There are millions of podcasts that are published. There are around three to four million podcasts out there right now. Okay. And today I learned
00:00:59
Speaker
that 44% of podcasts have fewer than three episodes. And this is episode number four for us. Look at us go. How about a round of applause for that? We are in the top 56% of podcasts in terms of publication. Honestly, pat yourself in the back and pretend like it comes from me because
00:01:24
Speaker
We've been talking about making a podcast since college and we had that one episode. So actually we have a podcast out there that's one of those statistical numbers because it only has one episode. And that's true. Come back.
00:01:40
Speaker
how many years, four or five years later? No, three or four years later.
Teamwork and Podcasting Joy
00:01:45
Speaker
And now have a podcast, be on episode four of this podcast, doing it with no prior experience in this game. It's honestly, it's you, I mean, because you do so much work, you know what you're doing and getting our episodes published. So thank you so much, Kiara, flowers to you. And you do all the editing. You do our shorts, our reels, that way people can actually learn about our content. It's a team effort.
00:02:09
Speaker
It's a team effort, but I'm glad we're a team. And I'm glad we're actually doing it. So yay. I'm so glad. Yay to us. This is a good day. This is a big accomplishment. This is a celebratory day. Yes. Awesome. Awesome. And we're just going to keep going. I mean, I don't think you or I have talked about it much, but I mean, I know
00:02:32
Speaker
I'm so in 100%. We're just going to keep it going every other week, maybe even every week if we actually have time going on later in our lives, but it's just a nice. Absolutely. It's such a nice thing to do. So if you can start a podcast, I would say start a podcast, but before you do listen to us and see what you can learn.
00:02:52
Speaker
I think it's also fun too.
Exploring Dating Flags
00:02:54
Speaker
I like that it's a new chapter in my life that gives me some new projects, some new entertainment, some new things to work on and focus on. Creating and running a podcast.
00:03:07
Speaker
It technically isn't hard to do, but finding the time and the dedication, the motivation to do it and do it right, make sure it's a quality thing out there, that you've got all the equipment, that does take effort and work. And to me, I think it's been a very valuable use of my time. And I'm happy to be doing it with my best friend. Me too. Me too. It couldn't be better. So on the topic of red flags, what do we have first?
00:03:36
Speaker
red flag. So this I discovered this on Twitter last week and I sent it to you because we did say we talk about all things life love and lol worthy. This is the love part of it and more than 1.4 million people saw this tweet from at shoe on head.
00:03:59
Speaker
And she posted this research that has all of the red flags and green flags in a partner. And if you're watching this on Spotify or watching this on YouTube, then you will see a an image of the red flags and green flags superimposed. But we're going to run down the list and we are going to go line by line and identify which red flags
00:04:23
Speaker
are for us, which flags are green flags, which ones are beige. And what's interesting about this data is that it also segments it out based on what women considered to be red flags and what men considered to be red flags. And there's actually a little bit of separation between the two. And we haven't even really seen this. I just saw it and was like, let me save this for the pod. So I'm looking forward to actually seeing what men do and do not consider to be red flags. Me too. I haven't seen the list at all. I know Kira sent it to me.
00:04:53
Speaker
Um, so I've been holding this one a secret, so I'm excited to see what's on the list. Let's do it. Do you want to start with the green flags or the red? Let's start with the red flags. Red flags. Okay. The first red flag. Honestly, wait, I think all of these are
00:05:15
Speaker
kind of this I don't they're not the same they're slightly different there's a lot of overlap between the green flags and the red flags that they ask people about in this research but we'll try to not do any duplicates okay first one red flag they identify as a mega republican so 76 percent of women called this a red flag 59 percent of men said that this was a red flag Lina what is this for you I
00:05:45
Speaker
I would put it as a red, just because they have a certain personality trait that I don't think aligns with what I would want in a partner. I also would put this as a red flag, but not for the reason that people might think. To me, identifying as not just a political... To me, a red flag is making any political party that big of a part of your identity.
00:06:13
Speaker
Like to me politics should not be that paramount to you that it's like I were the make America great again hat. I've got the flag flying outside my house. It's on my car. I've got the bumper sticker that to me like is just a red flag in general.
00:06:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah, I mean, it's the same with like the Bernie Sanders era, where people were wearing the Bernie hats and the Bernie shirts, red flag to me, like stay away from me. I don't need somebody that makes politics their personalities. So the Reagan Bush hats, like I know it's like a very fatty thing. And it's so popular at like
00:06:49
Speaker
the Kentucky Derby or whatever. But to me, it's like, if you're wearing a politician's name on your shirt, you have done something wrong. You have strayed in some way. Yeah. Let's see. Number two. Up next, number two. They have no hobbies. 66% of women called this a red flag. 60% of men called this a red flag. What do you think?
00:07:19
Speaker
Beige flag. You think this is a beige flag? I say because I think there's... It's a spectrum, right?
00:07:28
Speaker
because sometimes people are too busy with work or their family to have hobbies. Like just because you don't have hobbies doesn't mean that you're a bad person or a boring person. You just have other things going on that might take up more of your time. And I mean, what someone constitutes as a hobby, another person might not see is that way, or they might see something that you don't think is a hobby is a hobby. So it's just too objective. I think this is a beige flag.
00:07:57
Speaker
At first I was thinking red flag but now I'm kind of leaning toward beige just because like I feel like it's hard to say that no one that someone has no hobbies at all like it might not be an actual activity.
00:08:14
Speaker
When I think about my dad, for example, I probably would consider him to be someone who has no hobbies, but I mean, his hobby might be watching Law and Order SVU all day, because that's kind of what he does. So I feel like it's really just like a beige like, because it's hard to really think that there are people out there who literally like, they just work and do literally nothing else. Like, even if you watch TV, that could be your hobby. So for me, it's beige.
00:08:42
Speaker
Yeah. Cause like, if you think about it, would you consider somebody who, let's say a guy that you're talking to and you find out, you know, he has a steady job and he works nine to five, but likes his career. It's a decent one, whatever it is. And when he comes home, he takes care of his ailing grandmother for the rest of the day and doesn't have time to really do much of anything else because she's on bed rest and he needs to change her helper out.
00:09:09
Speaker
Like, are you going to get mad at him and say, oh, well, you don't have hobby. So I can't date you. Like, no, he's just got life going on. So I don't think that. I don't think that a hobby is a good way of judging someone. No, but I would, I would put that as a beige flag still, just because like, if he's that consumed with taking care of, um, his relative, which is a noble, good thing to do. It just makes me wonder like how much bandwidth he'd have for me. Yeah.
00:09:37
Speaker
Yeah, in that particular case, of course, but I just think like I got accused of having no hobbies by an ex-partner. He was like, what do you do? So I really not sure I was in college had a job like was actually had two jobs at the time was doing a lot. So it's like,
00:09:54
Speaker
And my hobbies were just different from what his hobbies were. It wasn't like I didn't have anything that I did for fun. So yeah, I just think that it's a terrible way to judge someone. So I even hesitate to call it a green flag. I don't even think it's like, it's not a green flag, not a beige flag. It's really not a flag at all. It's just a circumstance. But let's move on. Let's move on. Next one. Do you want to read this one?
00:10:18
Speaker
Yes, number three, they say all lives matter. Red flag, I've blocked somebody because of this. I literally have. Really? Oh, 100%. Okay, what's the background? She just like tweeted it or posted it on Instagram? She was very, yeah, on Instagram on her stories, very passionate about the fact that all lives matter. And it's not just about black people, like there are other ethnicities and other people. And I was like, you know what, facts, but I tried to like talk to her about it. And she was very much so on the scale of like,
00:10:48
Speaker
It's everyone even including Caucasian people, everyone that it's not necessarily intended to exclude, but not definitive of, and not the reason why Black Lives Matter was created. She was kind of using it as the anti to
Engagement Expectations: Viral Video Debate
00:11:03
Speaker
Black Lives Matter. And again, not one for super big political movements and shows like that, but I don't think that it was appropriate the way that she utilized it. And so I blocked her.
00:11:19
Speaker
To me, I'm going to say it's a red flag because if you're just saying it in response to someone saying Black Lives Matter, to me, it shows you have a pretty myopic, short-sighted understanding of the point of the movement. I think there are very legitimate criticisms about the organization itself. But as for the underlying statement and belief, if you hear someone say,
00:11:48
Speaker
I love cherries. And someone says, actually, all fruits are delicious. That, to me, shows someone who's pretty unsophisticated intellectually. Oh, yeah. So red flag. Red flag. OK, number four. Ooh, this one's hot. That's a hot topic. They say there are only two genders. Red flag, beige flag, or green flag.
00:12:18
Speaker
Ah, beige. It really just depends on the type of person you are. Everybody doesn't see it the same way. I don't think enough people in the world are on the same page about the gender question. And it's, it's a hot topic right now. So
00:12:36
Speaker
For me, I wouldn't count this at all as a red or green because it's not going to turn me off, but it's not going to necessarily attract me to them even more. It's just a neutral beige. To me, I think I'm at the risk of just agreeing with you on everything. I'm also going to put this as a beige flag. If you're someone who is going on the internet and
00:13:00
Speaker
has a really bigoted Twitter account where you're like responding to Matt Walsh and Ben Shapiro saying yeah you're right there are only two genders like that to me is a red flag um but if you're someone who just like has a fundamentally different view of the world than I do then like I
00:13:18
Speaker
That's something that I would not be opposed to being with. I don't think that couples have to see eye to eye on every single social issue or political issue. I think what matters is the underlying values that two people have more so than how they manifest in specific views about specific topics. Right.
00:13:41
Speaker
Well said. And 58% of women said that that was a red flag for them. And only 34% of men said that it is a red flag to say that there are only two genders. Wow. I'm surprised by the 58% of women saying that. Did you expect it to be higher or lower? Higher. I think because I feel like women are usually more empathetic to that type of conversation. And I don't know, I feel like they would be a little bit more
00:14:11
Speaker
accepting of the antithesis, the other idea that there are more than two genders. What's interesting is that there has been some research that shows that over the last few years, we've seen the pendulum actually move towards people being more against LGBT causes and LGBT issues, even in terms of perceptions of gay couples and approval of gay couples and gay marriage.
00:14:41
Speaker
People have actually gotten more conservative on that socially. And yeah, I think I kind of expected that number to be roughly around there. Interesting. Hmm. Okay, next up. They are so unbothered that they never ask for details. This is a red flag. For me.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's a red flag. They don't love you. If you're not interested, if you're not asking me questions, if you're not trying to check in on me, it's a red flag. Like, I'm sorry, you have to ask questions because asking questions is the basis of getting to know someone. And if you don't want to get to know someone, you simply do not like them. Yeah, if you just don't care then to ask for details or to know more than you just don't care about me.
00:15:26
Speaker
No, not at all. You're in. All right. Glad we agree. Let's go. Let's go. Rapid fire. Next. They identify as a communist. Red flag. Like, come on. It can't even be a joke. Like, some people joke about it, and it's kind of funny, depending on the context. But like, if you are sitting there and you say, I'm a communist, I get it. Some communist principles might seem fine and fun and dandy, but you want your freedom. At least I want my freedom.
00:15:55
Speaker
I would like my freedom as well. Yeah, that's a black people thing. Let's keep it going. Prison of women and 64% of Wow, more men said that that was a red flag. Great. The next one they listen to Joe Rogan. Honestly,
00:16:12
Speaker
Honestly, I listen to Joe Rogan. I like Joe Rogan in a way. If it becomes a personality trait, like some guys are like Andrew Tate about Joe Rogan for whatever reason, and I don't understand it, then red flag. But if they just happen to listen and they just like it, green flag. Honestly, because Joe Rogan says a lot of cool stuff. He's very motivational in his own way. He's an interesting podcaster and you have a lot to learn from him.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yeah, and I also like your personality. I don't listen to Joe Rogan for Joe Rogan. I listen to it for the people that he talks to. He has really interesting conversations with a wide variety of people across, like they talk about health and science and like social stuff. So to me, I put that as a beige or a green flag. It's definitely not a red flag, but it's not a red flag.
Personal Preferences as Dating Flags
00:17:09
Speaker
your whole identity. If it was like they listen to Andrew Tate, that's a red flag. 100% full size. Okay, so that was 55% of women and 35% of men counted that as a red flag. I see that. It's understandable. Men like him a lot more. The next one, they identify as conservative.
00:17:28
Speaker
I don't care what you identify as personally. I really don't. As long as, because the conservative title comes with a stigma that you don't see women as an equal. So if you have this idea that women should be submissive
00:17:47
Speaker
I'm cutting you out. I don't need that type of traditional value in my life. That's a red flag. But if you're just conservative because you have a certain set of beliefs because you don't want higher taxes, because you feel like you should keep the money that you earn, so many arguments could go into this. I'm not counting this as a red flag. I'm not necessarily counting it as a green flag either. This is another beige flag because it depends on the person and how they utilize it.
00:18:12
Speaker
Yeah, so for me, this is, again, beige, because conservative can mean so many different things, like you said. It can mean, I believe that people should be able to use firearms to protect themselves. That's something I 100% agree with. It could also mean that you believe that we should be rounding up every child who was born here to undocumented parents, but isn't American and think that they should be kicked out of the country.
00:18:41
Speaker
that a conservative could mean a lot of different things. And human beings are so diverse in their opinions that it's so hard to just put everyone under one bucket. I personally have a strong aversion to people who like putting people into buckets and classifying them as this group of people is all terrible, this group of people is all good, people who agree with me are right, people who agree with me are the devil.
00:19:11
Speaker
avoid doing that. So to me, I put it as beige. Yeah. I agree with you on that one too. I mean, the bucket thing, I can't stand that either. I don't like when people try to label you as a bad person who don't even know your heart.
00:19:28
Speaker
just because of what you follow or what political party you say you're a part of. It's dumb. Do you want to do the next one? Next up, they refuse to see the Barbie movie. 53% of women call this a red flag. 31% of men say that this is a red flag. I have not seen it. I also have not seen it. And I refuse to see it. I just haven't seen it.
00:19:58
Speaker
It's a movie. Yeah. I think whoever wrote this question, whoever answered, yes, it's a red flag to this question is a red flag. Yeah, really, because it's just a TV show. It's just TV. I don't understand. Maybe if it's like, oh, Barbie's for girls. And if that's why you're refusing it, then yeah, red flag, because just grow up, it's a movie.
00:20:23
Speaker
But if you don't want to see the Barbie movie, that's, that's fine. I haven't seen it either. Like there are people who just simply do not want to go and don't really have a reason. I yeah. Um, the next one pretty low on in terms of who voted for this as a red flag. Um, they own a gun, 27% of women and 13% of men. I'm really surprised that this number is only 27% for women.
00:20:52
Speaker
This makes me wonder about the population. Like who did they ask? Yeah. And obviously like if the conservative question is as, I guess, heavily a red flag for people, I'm imagining that bees aren't all conservative minded people. So interesting. So I think this is context dependent. So I live in New York City.
00:21:19
Speaker
It is very, very, very, very, very hard borderline impossible to get a gun in New York City. If you have a gun in New York City and you have it illegally, that is a major red flag. If you are a lawful gun owner and you have a concealed carry permit, to me, I put that as a
00:21:42
Speaker
I put it as beige too green for me, just because if you look at the data on who commits crimes in America, concealed carry gun holders or gun owners have a lower rate of crime than the police, and I'm not going to get into
00:22:03
Speaker
how much police commit the crimes, but in terms of like actually being convicted of things, people who own guns legally and have a concealed carry license basically do not commit crimes. And that to me is something that is I want in a partner. Obviously I don't want someone who's going to be in and out of prison. Yeah. You want like a hot guy who like has a gun and like somebody's bothering you in the parking lot. And so they're like, like a shady parking lot. And he just pulls it up. He's like, you got something to say?
00:22:31
Speaker
Exactly. Oh, that's hot. That's hot. That's a green flag. Okay. We continue. Wait, what was it for you? I'm sorry. I got carried away. I got carried away. I so I live in Tennessee. I grew up here for most of my life, even though I was born in Chicago, which is more of a liberal state, but people here have concealed carries. I know many people around me. And
00:22:56
Speaker
you never feel unsafe. If anything, it makes me feel safer in some sense because they're good people. And yeah, I guess the only argument I would have is like having kids around or having kids with somebody who has a gun in the house and like they have to be responsible, have it locked up in a safe, all of that, because it's like the same thing as having a pool at your house when you have kids. You don't want them to fall in and
00:23:25
Speaker
accidentally perish because they drowned. So you don't want any mistakes with that either. So they own a gun. I wouldn't put it as a red flag. I don't think it's a red flag. I've gone to Texas, shotguns with my cousins who own guns. I just think it's a matter of being responsible with it when you have that license and where you place it. So yeah, not a red flag for me either.
00:23:52
Speaker
Lina, I think people are going to listen to this and think that we're both hardcore Republicans. I said I was moderate.
Humor and Self-Reflection
00:24:01
Speaker
They really are though. They are. They're going to hear that we listen to Joe Rogan, that we think communist or parable, that
00:24:10
Speaker
Yeah, the only thing we're missing is like a MAGA hat. I mean, that's how people are gonna look at us like we're hard they're gonna think we're hardcore Trumpers. It doesn't even matter what we say at this point. So you know, I'm okay, because I haven't seen many women out here talk about being okay with voting guns and be okay with a conservative conservative man in their life. And you know what, or Joe Rogan, for a matter of fact, so you know, as long as we're not communists, I think we're okay.
00:24:38
Speaker
Or they're going to think we're a pygmy, so we're just doing this for male attention. What type of male attention? Apparently not the right type. I'm embarrassing. We're trying to get more women to listen to this podcast, actually. So we're not doing this for a guy. These are the questions. These are just the questions. Figure out your red flags, too, as you go along. Let's see. OK, now we're getting into some fun ones. They watch reality dating shows. 26% of women and 29% of men said this was a red flag.
00:25:09
Speaker
To me, this is a green flag for a guy. Like if a guy's like, you know what? I like the Bachelor. It's interesting to me and I'm going to watch it. That to me shows that a guy is confident that he doesn't feel pressured to conform to any sort of standard of what a man is supposed to be like, quote unquote. And yeah, like if he's into it, then like cool for him. I love that he would not feel pressured to conform or stop doing things that he enjoys.
00:25:37
Speaker
just because he's expected to not like something as a man. Green flag. Yeah, I say green flag as well. I've watched several dating shows more recently since college, and they show you a lot about the inner workings of a relationship. But I feel like there's a lot to learn from these people, although it is exaggerated and
00:25:56
Speaker
in the shows, I think that that exaggeration actually highlights some really, really great points about what it's like to be in a true relationship with someone that's like not hot and in bikinis all day on an island. Yeah, green flag. I think that
00:26:14
Speaker
Dating shows have become much more gender neutral over time. Things like Flavor of Love or I Love New York or The Bachelor used to be very, very women heavy. But now I think a lot of people are into Love is Blind on Netflix.
00:26:32
Speaker
Yes, yes, I am. I watch every season even though it's dumb. And it's really bad. And I know that they have a lawsuit now. So I'm really sorry. Wait, what about what? Okay, so last was it last season? I believe it was last season. Oh, I forgot his name.
00:26:50
Speaker
Um, the couple, but they looked like the worst couple on the show. Honestly, everybody was like very surprised that they ended up getting married. Um, but they came out after the show and said that they were, they wanted to like Sue love is blind because they
00:27:07
Speaker
basically only fed them alcohol. They hardly ever got water. So every time you see a cast member, it's always with wine in hand. And they're being portrayed while they're very much so intoxicated. You can tell they're drunk. They're held on these dates for long hours with minimal food. So they're basically starved and sheltered. All of their identity
00:27:32
Speaker
is taken away before they get on the show. So like you can't have your phone, you can't have your wallet, like no ID, no nothing. And they really try to instigate scenarios where it looks bad for the entertainment sake of TV. So the couple that is in question, the woman had had like a panic attack when they went to Mexico for a honeymoon and they didn't tell the man in the relationship.
00:28:03
Speaker
And he came, they told him just to come back to the hotel room and just go in and they didn't give him any context as to what was happening. So he like found her in the closet crying and he's trying to figure out what's wrong because she's in the middle of a panic attack. But then he's like forced to stay in there and they wanted him to go in with just a mic so they could get
00:28:23
Speaker
that piece of entertainment because they thought that it would look like a fight was happening. And so they could like profit off of it for the show. And then he came back and said like, no, she was having a panic attack. They should have done something about it. They should have helped her versus like trying to just record her and make it fun for the audience. So yeah, there's like, it kind of makes you wonder what else happens behind the scenes of these shows. Have you ever seen Unreal?
00:28:50
Speaker
No, what's unreal? It is a it was so, so good. Like I it's I'm going to say it was on Lifetime, but it was actually like a very good Lifetime show, like very high quality production. And it was it's a fictional show produced by one former bachelor producer. And basically they just create a the show is the premise of the show is like seeing all the inner workings of reality TV show.
00:29:17
Speaker
and all the terrible things that they actually do to contestants. So the fact that someone who used to work on The Bachelor made that show, and like from what I gather, they say it's like, like there's some like over the top scenes, but like it's like decently accurate to me lets me know that like, yeah, these shows don't really treat people very, very well behind the scenes, but still very, very entertaining nonetheless. Yeah. Wow.
00:29:45
Speaker
I need to watch Unreal, because I would love something like that. You have to. It is so, oh my gosh, Lina, it is so good. So good. And it's already done, so you can just binge watch the entire thing. Oh, cool. I'll tap it for sure. Cool. There was one. Do you remember? I don't know if you watched it. I believe it was on TLC as well, but it was about friends. It was confessing to your friends. So it would be like, no.
00:30:12
Speaker
like a guy and a girl, maybe like childhood friends or whatever. And they're just, and so they like follow them around with the camera crew, but I think they give them some other type of excuses to why they're recording. And then it's like one friend who confesses to the other to see if they like them. And then they would either get together or not. Oh, it was so good. Oh, it sounds so good. It does sound great. And so yeah, I miss that show a lot. I used to watch it all the time. Did they typically get rejected?
00:30:41
Speaker
Honestly, it was like half and half. Okay, 50-50. It was, it really was. And sometimes you could tell you were like, don't do it. But then sometimes you would think that they were actually like really good. And the other person really liked them. And then it was like, no, like, I'm sorry.
00:31:01
Speaker
That has to be the end of the friendship though, right? How do you come back from that? They would do a follow-up. You know how at the end of some shows, have you watched Beyond Scared Straight?
00:31:17
Speaker
Yes. And like sometimes they would put at the end the synopsis of like what happens later like this kid is doing well in school now he's like getting better grades and after going on the show so they did that with this one and it would tell you like oh like they just they decided to try out dating or whatever and then they ended up breaking up and now they're not friends or they continued their friendship and they're still going strong so it was so it was fun but sometimes it was very very heartbreaking.
00:31:45
Speaker
You need to figure out the name of that thing for me. I do, I do. I'll send it to you. Okay. All right, next. They are into astrology. 20% of women said that this is a red flag. Big gap between men and women here. 41% of men say that this is a red flag. I see why men think it's a red flag. As an astrology girly myself,
00:32:14
Speaker
No, okay. I have co-star on my phone and have I convinced some people to get it and add me so I could see our compatibility chart? Yes. However, I'm not a serious astrology girl. I don't ascribe to that. I don't think people align with their signs completely. I do think that sometimes it's a coincidence and it kind of happens, but
00:32:41
Speaker
The only thing I'll say is Virgo men are terrible. And that's it. It's okay. Is this a red flag? Was Grasshopper a Virgo? Mm hmm. Okay, I can see why you'd feel that way. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um,
00:33:06
Speaker
But it is a red flag. It's a red flag. When somebody, like you said, puts you in a bucket, this applies to earlier, when they put you in a bucket and they box you in because of something that you have, in this case, no control over, which is the month that you were born and what zodiac you fall under, then yes, it's a problem. If they do it, if they like astrology, like I like astrology, but it's just for fun, where
00:33:31
Speaker
You know, they just pull up the chart to see what it says, but it doesn't, it's not like they're sitting here like putting together concoctions of lavender and sage in their bathtub and saying chance in order to align themselves because Mercury's in retrograde now, so they don't want their life to go to crap. Like, no, that's not, that's not smart. That kind of sounds like an actual witch, though. So yeah, that was very much so.
00:33:51
Speaker
I'll tell you a story. So one time I was going to the deli at my local supermarket and you know, just ordering regular stuff and the guy who's working behind the counter was, you know, nice talking to me. And then randomly he asks me, what time were you born? I was like, excuse me?
00:34:14
Speaker
And he wanted to know like the time I was born, the month I was born, because I don't know like what sort of mathematics he was doing in his mind to try to figure out if I was compatible with him based on whatever stuff he believes about the moon or stars or whatever, but that to me made me feel very very uncomfortable because like
00:34:36
Speaker
don't go up to strangers and ask them what time they were born. That sounds really, really predatory and creepy. That made me feel super uncomfortable. And then just also as like a Christian, I feel like as a believer, astrology doesn't align with being a Christian because the Bible talks about like not like meeting the stars and that sort of thing. And because I want a guy who is really Christian, for me, it would be a red flag to date a guy who is into astrology. Okay.
00:35:05
Speaker
I think a woman that's into astrology is much more fun than a man. And I know, sexist, whatever. It's a choice. I'm sorry to say it. But if the guy is really into astrology and he's sitting here asking me what time I'm born, I'm turned off. But if a girl comes up to me and was like, Oh, what time were you born? It's kind of cute. Like I can kind of see it. I've definitely like,
00:35:30
Speaker
I've, I've tried it. And I've done it to guys who I've known had like a thing for me. But like, I wasn't as into them. But I was like, Yeah, I'm reborn. And they stuck around. I was like, Okay, you're serious. Like, if you weren't serious, I couldn't ask that. And you'd be here. So yeah, just if she's serious about astrology, to the point where she's like, telling you she can't date you because you're a Taurus, like,
00:35:58
Speaker
red flag. And if I will say red flag in general, it is a red flag if a guy is like, against it, because he thinks it's a stupid thing that women do. If you just hate that, like the way a man feels about astrology, even though I don't participate in it, could be an indication of just how he thinks about women in general, and he might think down on women. So true that to me also could be a red flag there. Yeah.
00:36:25
Speaker
Okay, next up. I'm tired of the political ones. I want to do fun ones. The next one... Let's skip that one then. Yeah, let's just skip it. This one is fun. They frequently post on social media. I feel like it's kind of hot if a guy doesn't post on social media. That to me is like... Yeah. Is it a red flag if he frequently posts? It's a red flag. The TikTok boys. The TikTok boys. It depends on the platform. You're 100% right. If a guy is like...
00:36:55
Speaker
If a guy like, no, no, no, no, no, hold up. It's the ones that are like, we're not doing the penguin dance. Okay. We're not doing that. That whole thing on Instagram, that red flag. No, no. That's a red flag. Flowers and like teaches you how to make bouquets.
00:37:19
Speaker
Green flag. He's such a green flag. He's a green flag. 100%. Guys who like, I don't know if you've got like a sports thing going and you like to live tweet through the Super Bowl or any games. Like I'm active on Twitter during the Colorado games and the Northwestern games. So I can't say it's a red flag if a guy does that too. Facts facts facts. But only 19% of women said that was a red flag, 24% of men. Wow.
00:37:48
Speaker
Yeah, no. So overall, I say red flag, but it depends on the topic. It's a beige flag. It depends on the topic. It is a beige flag. It's a beige flag. Okay, skipping that one, they take candid pictures of you. I say this one for me is
00:38:10
Speaker
green flag. It could be creepy but I think it's green just because like if you like seeing what I look like in my like natural state without being superposed or whatever you just want to have photos of different memories that to me I appreciate I think that'd be a green flag. I take candid photos of people that I care about too so I can't call that a red flag.
00:38:34
Speaker
Yeah, I grew up with a mom that videotaped everything. So we have like everything that's recorded, Christmases, train rides, random mundane days. Like it's, it's really, really nice. So I think like candid photos are actually very touching. I think that it's a red flag. If they take a candid photo that you don't like of yourself and post it or share it with others, then that's a red flag.
00:38:59
Speaker
Okay, I agree there. If they're doing things to purposefully embarrass you, red flag. But otherwise, it's a very thoughtful thing. And let's see the next one. They prefer cow milk over any non-dairy milk. Green flag, I like ice cream, I guess.
00:39:21
Speaker
I like yogurt. Green flag. Let's continue. Green flag. Green flag. Green flag. Why would you want somebody financially irresponsible?
00:39:35
Speaker
Exactly. You don't necessarily want someone who's miserly, but yeah, you want someone who's going to be responsible with your finances. Sure. Green flag, very green flag. She said miserly. We all know. I'm going to look that word up later. They read. Apparently, I don't. I'm a red flag.
00:39:56
Speaker
Yeah, I don't read enough books. I started reading this, um, this, like, Christian billionaire romance story. And yeah, I guess that's, I'm not a, I'm not a red flag anymore. But yeah, how could it breeding be a red flag? It's not, it's really not. Yeah, it doesn't. Oh, he's literate red flag. Okay. They look better in person.
00:40:25
Speaker
How is that a flag? That's good. You want someone who's even hotter than you anticipated that they'd be. So green flag. Yeah. Why would you want somebody that only looks good in pictures? What are you looking at? That was a long list. That was a long list.
00:40:43
Speaker
We made it all the way, that was like, what, 25? And we're at the 50 minute mark. Okay, let's try to run through. And we wanted to talk about a TikTok that had been going viral. Can we save that for the next episode? I'm okay with that. Okay, because we need to get into Colorado.
Conclusion and Future Plans
00:41:05
Speaker
Obviously, do you want to get into Colorado is like, we can record it as like a bonus episode.
00:41:13
Speaker
Yeah, let's do it. All right. So there's a TikTok that has been going viral on the internets. Okay. Because a woman and a man together, there are a couple, were interviewed in one of those like, I don't know, Miami Street interviews. And someone asked about
00:41:36
Speaker
like what they think an appropriate price for engagement ring is and whether or not they should get engaged. So bear with me, I'm going to be playing this out of my phone, but let's just play it. I hope this comes through. You can just listen to it. I think your screen won't show it.
00:41:54
Speaker
I will post it, I will find a way to superimpose it onto this video and you'll hear it clearly, but now I'm just playing it for Lita. So do you want to listen to it all the way through? I kind of want to stop and react and talk about things based on how things go. Yeah, yeah. We'll stop. All right, let's start with part one on TikTok. This is from... Hold on, have you been together? Three years. This is from... Hold on, have you been together?
00:42:20
Speaker
This is from At The Desirable Truth on TikTok. If you can't see it, it's a man who's interviewing a couple, a man and woman. The girl is answering the questions first. How long have you been together? Three years. Has he proposed to you yet? No. Not yet. It's coming.
00:42:43
Speaker
Uh, let's stop there. Okay. Red flag. If you've been with someone for three years and you're like in your mid twenties, why haven't you proposed yet? Literally. No, that's too long. I don't care who you are. What are you waiting for? Like it's one thing if it's like, okay, we've been together for three years. We started dating at 17, but like, if you're like 27 and you've been with a guy and now you're 30, what, like, what is a holdup? What is up? If you, especially if they live together, don't even get me started. Let's keep going.
00:43:13
Speaker
You guys live together now? Yes. So why would he put a ring on it then? If he's already getting everything? That's a good question. That is a good question. That's a good question. Because they're living together. Yeah, exactly. Like she's already like, and if she's living together, that means she's definitely like doing domestic labor for him. She's cooking for him. So like they've been living together for a year and a half already and
00:43:44
Speaker
He hasn't proposed yet. He said not yet. When is yet to come? Well, let's listen and find out what he says. He's getting a wifey. Okay, you got it. What? Why would you put a ring on it if we already live together? If I'm already doing wifey shit. Because I genuinely love you. Oh.
00:44:09
Speaker
So when you plan on proposing, you're starting something. Why do I need a ring to show you my love and dedication to you when I do that on a daily basis? So he went from, the guy asked, are you proposing? Then he says, no, not yet. Why do I need to propose if I'm showing you love on a daily basis?
00:44:32
Speaker
I don't understand that logic. This is a red flag. He wants somebody who's treating him, I guess like doing everything for him as a wife would, but doesn't want to actually marry her, but loves her genuinely enough to want to marry her maybe one day in the future that he so-called says, but it just sounds like a big excuse to me. It's not, he doesn't want her.
00:45:01
Speaker
No, obviously not. To me, it's obvious that he doesn't want to marry her, but let's keep... A ring is making it official. Yeah, it's no such thing as official. You love each other. It's just like... A ring is making it official. Everybody got their own opinion, so it's just like... She's a female, so a female is going to have their own opinion anyway. You're single until married, in my opinion. That term don't...
00:45:27
Speaker
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let's finish now. Listen, let's finish. I don't understand what he was saying near the end. But let's go back to what he said word for word. He said that a female is like
00:45:56
Speaker
She's a female, so females are going to have an opinion on everything anyway. Yeah, he doesn't respect women. And he definitely doesn't respect the women that he's with. No, not at all. And then what she said, I 100% agree, you're single until you're married. Exactly. So why are you moving into this family? And it's not to say that when you're in a relationship with someone, boyfriend, girlfriend, right, or you have a title,
00:46:22
Speaker
You should still be committed to that person. You should still be doing right by them, respecting them, staying faithful to them. But you don't have, I guess, true 100% commitment, I feel like, until
00:46:39
Speaker
you have a ring. And I know that for some people that's like, it's not always that everybody likes that or thinks that way or feels that way because I mean, you do have many couples out there who honestly don't believe in marriage, don't get married and they're committed and they have their lives, they have kids, they, you know, have a very fulfilling life. But I do think that this is something that should be talked about before you get into a relationship with someone that's serious.
00:47:06
Speaker
because you need to know what your definition of committed is. And that's on the both of them for not making that clear. That's on her for not drawing that boundary with him, staying with him for that long, moving in together, doing these duties. I mean, you can't blame him for this because she was a factor in it as well. However,
00:47:30
Speaker
She needs to figure out the truth because I feel like she's right, the dig up some stuff for them that they need to figure out. I also just want to add, you can't really see it. She is gorgeous and he is there. He's not. He's there. He's next to her.
00:47:45
Speaker
He's there. I just want to. OK, so I hear this like, oh, it's just she says a ring makes it official. And he's like, oh, that's your opinion. And females are going to have opinions. If it's just like if it is nothing to you, if ring doesn't mean anything, then why can't you marry her? Right. If it's if it's just a piece of paper, it's got no impact on anything to you. Then what's the big issue of just signing this thing that you think is just a piece of paper?
00:48:13
Speaker
Right? If you have no issue with it, you should be able to do it. It's the people who have something that they say, you know, I don't want to marry because I don't want my taxes to change. I don't want this to change. Like really real life thing. I mean, I don't know, but I could see it. And if they have that conversation, at least they're being honest with you about it. But for people that just, like you said, have no reason whatsoever, then why not? All right. Let's play part two. This is the part that really went viral.
00:48:42
Speaker
Do you have any expectations for how much the ring should cost? No, she don't care about life. Yeah, I'm not materialistic in prices. She's really more so a thoughtful girl. $1,500 ring would be just fine with you. No. Don't say no. Don't show up. Don't say no.
00:49:04
Speaker
Okay, what do you think about that? She says, I'm not materialistic. But then the guy says, Okay, how would you feel about a $1,500 ring? And she's like, No, no, no, that's not gonna cut it. Okay, I don't somebody who's truly not materialistic wouldn't really care because they could just get a gold band or something as a symbol of
00:49:30
Speaker
of dedication like that and be okay with it, but I wouldn't necessarily call her materialistic. I feel like that's a standard.
00:49:38
Speaker
$1,500 really isn't a lot. I'm paying more for a pilot's license right now. I paid more than that for like, bags. My iPhone costs $1,500. Are you kidding me? Right. So it's like, really, as a show of dedication to another person, marriage, a contract, something where you're putting yourself in that position, and let me say divorce is not easy, is one of the hardest things you can go through emotionally, financially.
00:50:06
Speaker
And it puts, even if you have a family, you know, like kids, it puts them through strain. So it's like, because of the effort of how, of like the risk that you're putting yourself in being in this type of legal arrangement, you should have a bigger show of commitment.
00:50:25
Speaker
with the symbol of your marriage, i.e. the ring. Get some skin in the game. Yeah, $1,500 won't cut it. It won't cut it. And it's also context dependent. If you're with someone who is making $500,000 a year and they get you a $1,500 ring, that to me is different than someone who's making $60,000, giving you a $1,500 ring. Or $20,000. Very context dependent. Yeah, it really does depend on your income, and really to me,
00:50:54
Speaker
That's the measure. It's like your income versus like, I guess how much of that income would show your, your, your soul or your heart or your commitment. Because if you don't have a lot to give, but you're putting everything you can into this, then obviously you really truly mean it. And like y'all can get married, work it up, whatever. But like you said, if it's, if you're making 500 K a year and you're giving me a $1,500 ring, like,
00:51:20
Speaker
You don't like me. I'm not here. We're not doing this. We're not. Also, if you're making 60 grand, but you buy like a $50,000 ring, that to me is like, wait. So you're going to go into $50,000 debt that I now have to help you pay for because you bought a ring that you couldn't afford. Yeah. Binders that you can afford. Exactly. It's a balancing act. Like don't mortgage your ability to buy a house for an engagement ring. No. Yeah. You have to be smart about it.
00:51:49
Speaker
And that should be a conversation that you have with your significant other. Like you can talk to them about what price of ring you can afford and like what you can do about that and like what's okay. Because honestly, like, but I mean, at the same time, I mean, every woman doesn't know how much her engagement ring costed. That's true. All right, let's keep going because this gets interesting. Because when when did anybody ever propose to you? Did you hear what he said?
00:52:14
Speaker
So she says, no, $1,500 is not going to work. And then he says. So don't show up. Don't say no. Because when did anybody ever propose to you? When did anybody ever propose to you? When did anybody ever propose to you? That's a crazy thing to say to somebody you're in a relationship with. Uh-uh.
00:52:41
Speaker
That makes her feel so small. And she's just there like, probably super embarrassed. I hope she left him. Oh, I hope. I hope. Nobody proposed to me yet. Exactly. So why would a $1,500 ring mean anything? That's a good question. Exactly. But that's what I expect. No, that's what you expect. And it's because you're too picky. OK.
00:53:07
Speaker
So now the insults come. Oh, wow. So now it's don't be materialistic. But now because you expect more than a $1,500 ring, now you're picky. And nobody's proposed to you before. So you really should be happy with the $1,500 ring. So basically, what he's saying is you should be happy with anything that anybody gives you. Yeah.
00:53:28
Speaker
pretty much like even if it's literally the bare minimum, he went from yes, no, I haven't proposed yet. I love her to females always have an opinion on something to $1,500 too much for a rain because like who is ever proposed to you, to you're too picky if you even expect me to spend $1,500 on something. Yeah. The bar, it just keeps getting lower. Guess I'm too picky then. Yes, I know you're too picky.
00:54:04
Speaker
A ring doesn't matter. A ring doesn't matter. Yeah, it don't matter. It matters in a certain aspect, but it symbolizes like, all right, it's materialistic. When I first saw that video, I felt like, oh my gosh, like she's too good for him. Like I really feel sorry for her. But by the end of that video, watching it a second time and seeing her like so quickly go back on what she thought was important just to cave to him by saying, you know what? Yeah, you're right. I am too picky. It is materialistic.
00:54:21
Speaker
Seems like you guys love each other very much. Yeah, I love you guys so much.
00:54:34
Speaker
I don't feel sorry for her. I wonder if she was just trying to save face because there was a camera there. And that's the only thing I could say because if she was really serious about the fact that she was caving in and 100% agreeing with him, and like, I guess, just being submissive to his ideas of her, then yeah, she deserves it. Because you put your I mean, like I said, she put herself in that situation as well. I mean,
00:55:03
Speaker
you have to communicate these types of things with your partner. And you don't live with somebody for that long and not have your, like her basic needs of what she wants. Let's say her basic wants is that she wants to get married, but she decided to move in with the man who's not committing to her and the way she wants to be committed to. And that's the fault of her for not sticking up for herself.
00:55:24
Speaker
Yeah and I mean even let's say you're hurt and in that position and he proposes with with a fourteen hundred dollar ninety nine ring he proposes to the fourteen hundred dollar ring because you're not worth fifteen hundred ten does that even like
00:55:38
Speaker
feel good no it's like you just you basically had to beg for it you know he didn't want to you know he thinks it doesn't mean anything he knows you think you don't deserve it like that that to me is like not even like something that you're jumping for joy for it that to me is is what so many people call it just a shut up right he's like okay you wanted me to propose to you fine whatever i'll propose
00:56:01
Speaker
but then they have like an eight year, 10 year engagement. And he's basically just holding out until you can actually find the woman that he cares to be with because he obviously does not love her. Yeah. You said it. I don't, I have nothing more to say. Nothing more to say. All right. I wish we could finish on a more positive note, but we're getting, we're coming up on time. Yep. An hour plus into this. So we wanted to talk about Colorado.
00:56:30
Speaker
We are going to save Colorado for a bonus episode. The clock is ticking and we need to go. So you can contact us. You can contact us anywhere by following us on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter at TakeItToGo, or by emailing us at TakeItToGoPod at gmail.com. And before you leave, before we move on, please take a second
00:56:55
Speaker
Let us know what you think of the podcast. Rate us and review us wherever you listen to podcasts. We currently have five reviews on Apple podcasts. Let's make that 10. Let's just be ambitious. Let's double it. Let's make it 10 by the next episode that's going to come out in two weeks. So give us five stars.
00:57:14
Speaker
Yeah, five stars. I honestly don't even want a four star review because what is it that would make you dock us just one star? Yeah. If you're going to dock us, at least tell us what's up. Be honest about it. Yeah. If you've got a problem with this, say with your chest, give us one star. I just want you to be honest. Don't just be that petty and give us four stars. Anyway, that is all for now. For now. For now.
00:57:45
Speaker
You can follow me on TikTok, Instagram, at TheKiaraDanielle, and I'm Lena. You can follow me at FlyingWithLena on Instagram. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you on our next ride. Bye! Bye!