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36. Solve Your Guilt Complex Through Community with Coley Arnold
9 Plays5 months ago
Join us as we dive into the entrepreneurial journey of Coley Arnold, founder of The Foundress—a thriving community that offers monthly meetings, intentional mentorship, curated speakers, and tangible resources to help women expand their success and impact.
Coley shares her experience as a busy mom and "serial entrepreneur" who has a unique knack for connecting women who GET IT. Discover how embracing community over competition (and getting off social media!) can swap guilt for growth.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
- The importance of embracing failures and struggles in shaping success.
- How building a supportive community of women entrepreneurs makes you powerful.
- Strategies to avoid burnout when turning your passion into a business.
- How aligning your actions with your personal and professional vision mitigates guilt.
- Insights on leveraging mentorship and community building to scale your business.
For more inspiration, subscribe to Unbound Turnarounds on Apple Podcasts or Spotify!
LINKS:
- Connect with Nicole
- Connect with Mallory
- Connect with Coley: https://www.foundress.co/
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Unbound Turnarounds'
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Unbound Turnarounds, a podcast all about the challenges women business owners think about constantly, but rarely voice. We're Nicole and Mallory, entrepreneurs, friends, and co-founders of Business Unbound. Our mission is simple, make business feel better. And that starts with honest conversations about the ups, downs, and turnarounds of entrepreneurship.
Recap & Guest Introduction
00:00:26
Speaker
So whether you're just starting out or you've been your own boss for years, tune in for stories, insights, and strategies that actually make work work for life.
00:00:39
Speaker
Welcome back to Unbound Turnarounds. Last week, we kicked off season four with our pillars of support and systems that we just absolutely cannot live without. So today we have our first guest of the season. Mal, this is someone near and dear to your heart. Tell us who we've got.
Empowering Women Entrepreneurs
00:00:57
Speaker
Yes, I'm so excited to welcome Coley Arnold to the show. And she is near and dear to my heart because she is also all about supporting women entrepreneurs. And that's what we're here to do. She has a passion for empowering women in business. She runs the founders in Phoenix, where through regular monthly meetings, intentional mentorship, curated speakers, and tangible resources, she creates space for women to scale their success and expand their impact.
00:01:25
Speaker
So she's become a fierce advocate for female entrepreneurs, fostering a community of support and growth. With an impressive 12-year journey as a business owner herself, she seamlessly blends creativity and business. Her ventures reflect her dedication to curating a unique community while encouraging women to chase their dreams.
00:01:46
Speaker
Kohli's story is one of resilience, innovation, and a relentless pursuit of making both her own mark and uplifting others in the entrepreneurial world. I've actually had the pleasure of being a member of her community in Phoenix, which is how I know Kohli, and it was incredible. I loved it. I was very sad to be leaving when I had to move far, far away. So it's really fun to reunite today on the show, and we're just really grateful that you're here, Kohli.
Role of Community in Entrepreneurship
00:02:12
Speaker
Thank you.
00:02:12
Speaker
Thank you so much for having me. It's been so fun on this journey, and I'm so excited to share it with you guys today. Awesome. Well, the community that you run is all women entrepreneurs, which is really great. So you have seen tons of people in our particular space, living our kind of life. And so I'm curious what types of support you see as absolutely crucial for those on an entrepreneurial journey.
00:02:42
Speaker
Yeah, I think there's obviously a lot of things we need and I think every single business is different, right? But what I've found in my 12 years of owning businesses, we've owned I think five total so far. I call myself a serial entrepreneur and I'm actually trying to quit everything and focus.
00:02:58
Speaker
One thing because it is so hard, but I think one of the things we need is support is that community and so many of us are trying to do, we've been told by our culture that we have to do this things by ourselves and especially women. I don't know why it's so hard for us to ask for help, but dang it, we have such a hard time asking for help. And so we have this
00:03:18
Speaker
societal expectation of us being super women, right? And we probably come into that role and we're like, we can do it all. We're moms, we're business owners, we're whatever.
Diverse Support Systems
00:03:30
Speaker
And that wears us down so fast. And so I've seen in my journey and others and other women that I've helped and supported along the way that community and having women
00:03:41
Speaker
Around you that know you're going through cuz i do think there's a difference to different sections of friends right where i have my mom friends and my college friends and my business friends and there's just something different about sitting across the table from a woman who is like.
00:03:56
Speaker
Oh my God, did you try to post on social media today and for that freaking algorithm, right? I get you. I get you. We're in that same season and struggling with the same things. And so I think that's so vital just to have someone just go, hey, I've been there. This is what I did that worked for me. Or you're not alone. Just having that confirmation of like,
00:04:18
Speaker
You don't have to do this. Well, it's funny you say that because I was just reading an article about different types of best friends and how you need different types of friends for different situations and parts of your life.
Avoiding Burnout through Community
00:04:30
Speaker
And like you're saying, like having a community, you may have a really vibrant community outside of your business, but if you don't have anyone else that understands running a business, you know, it's not enough just to have like.
00:04:43
Speaker
other moms that get being moms who don't understand running a business, or maybe your partner is super supportive, but they also don't run a business, right? And you need that shorthand with somebody. And do you find that the main point of that is just to be able to have longevity in this particular journey? You know, does that community piece lead to less burnout and all of that? Like, what do you see as the major benefits
00:05:12
Speaker
Yeah, I watch so many entrepreneurs as they start just because most of us didn't go to business school. Most of us didn't come out with all this like handbook of like, here's exactly the 10 steps I'm going to follow to be an entrepreneur,
Balancing Passion and Business Needs
00:05:24
Speaker
right? It doesn't really exist. And so I watched so many people. I always loved the like example of like the hamster wheel, right? You're like running, you're working so hard and you're not going anywhere.
00:05:35
Speaker
And being in a community where you can sit next to someone and they go, oh gosh, you're still doing that on your own? Hold on. You need to hire someone or you need to put this team member in place. And just like we don't know what we don't know, right? And so when we can come into a room and others who have been there or are going through the same thing can go,
00:05:54
Speaker
girlfriend, slow down. You're not even on the right route, much less going in the right direction. So I think that is so important. And again, it's like the more we can refine our process. And a lot of us go into entrepreneurship because it's a passion. But when that passion turns into a business, it's really easy to burn out and be like, oh, why did I even do this in the first place?
00:06:20
Speaker
We see all the time like, oh, we quit. What's the quote? Entrepreneurs quit the nine-to-five so they could work 24-7. It's funny because in the beginning it's true, but also we don't have to live there and it doesn't have to be hard. I think that's what we don't know when we're entering into this.
Importance of Hiring Help
00:06:41
Speaker
I've really been working hard this last year to set myself up like, what do I want my life to look like?
00:06:48
Speaker
as an entrepreneur, I get to choose. And I think sometimes, a great example, I was sitting with my COO, I hired a COO last year, which by the way, best money I've ever spent, if you're a business owner. And we're sitting there, and we have been doing founders for five years. So there's been a routine, there's been a rhythm, right? And I was looking at the calendar, we were planning the year ahead, and I was like, oh, the first kickoff back and fall, we always do a bigger fall meeting in August.
00:07:17
Speaker
We're back from the craziness of summer, like let's get serious. And I was like, oh, the kickoff meeting is my son's first day of kindergarten. I was like, oh, that's a bummer. I'll have to figure out how to juggle that. And she goes, no, you don't. And I was like, what do you mean I don't? She's like, well, let's change the date.
00:07:34
Speaker
I was like, I can do that? She was like, you are the boss. You can do whatever you want. I was like, oh my God. Like it was just like a light bulb moment where like, like we need others around us to watch from the outside because we get so stuck in our routines and our rhythms and we like, we're tunnel vision, right? We're like, we have a goal. We have a vision. We're determined. We're working hard.
00:07:53
Speaker
And someone from the outside is going, what the hell are you doing? You don't have to work this hard. Right. Right. Like move it one day. What's the big deal? Move it 12 days. It's fine. Nicole and I are like that for each other. And she's done that for me. Same story. I mean, different scenario, but it's like,
00:08:13
Speaker
I just couldn't see it. And this is where it comes back to the community of having the like-minded community members and how it's so important and really a vital
Personal Development vs. Business Growth
00:08:24
Speaker
part of your support network.
00:08:26
Speaker
And there's a piece that when you said sometimes other women in that community will say, hey, you know what? That's a sticking point. And here's how to do this better. And here's how to do this better. The flip side of that is also having people in your network to be like, you're doing enough. That's enough. You're doing great. So you know what? Take a minute.
00:08:47
Speaker
And I feel like that's the piece, you know, like I get that from Mallory. I get that from some of my other friends in this space. But that's a key piece, too, to just because you don't have anyone to benchmark again. Right. You're like, I I don't. Is it enough? Am I? Is it my industry disruptors, which we have so many industry disruptors in Foundress. And and it's like we were joking because we were trying to create like industry buckets that people could fill out their profile and like choose an industry. And these women are like,
00:09:17
Speaker
Mine doesn't exist. I'm breaking some barriers here, which is amazing. But like you said, there's no one to compare it to. And so when you're going, I'm building something new, something different, and I have no idea what normal looks like. I have no idea what track I'm on, what my benchmarks are supposed to be because I'm creating them, right?
00:09:37
Speaker
But that's where the community can even just witness, which is one of my favorite words. I just see you working hard. I know you're doing your best. I know you're putting this love and passion and all of your energy into this. Like, I see you, right? Even if they can't offer advice.
00:09:56
Speaker
I think let's shift a little bit to the concept of personal growth because we're kind of talking a little bit about that but I kind of I always feel like I'm still learning you know as an entrepreneur every other day I'm like pushing outside my comfort zone again again again right that's kind of just what the nature of the gig is.
00:10:16
Speaker
But what are your thoughts on balancing this investment in personal development, but also the day-to-day of running the business?
Self-awareness and Business Growth
00:10:25
Speaker
How do you balance those two things?
00:10:27
Speaker
Yeah, I think the first step is getting out of that day-to-day grind. The faster you can remove yourself from in the business, so you can work on the business, is step one. Because when you're working in the business, you can't really do anything. You're doing everything. You're the CFO, you're the CEO, you're the marketing strategist.
00:10:47
Speaker
You're the intern. You're kind of doing all of it. And then when you can do that, you have time to be freed up, to dive into that personal development. But what I see so many times in entrepreneurs, they don't know who they are. And so how do you serve someone else when you don't know who you are? This last year and a half has probably been the biggest and hardest growth I've personally gone through. And I've watched my business
00:11:11
Speaker
grow exponentially at the same time. And so I know there's a correlation there, and I heard this amazing example, and I wish I remembered who said it so I could give them credit, but it was, he's like, picture a bow and arrow.
00:11:25
Speaker
And he said, if you pull a bone arrow back just a little bit, like your arrow is going to go boop and fall right by your feet, right? But he's like, the further you pull it back, the more leverage you have to shoot forward. And he said, this back part is all of our personal development. And so the further you dive back into knowing who you are, what your strengths are, the faster and further you're going to go forward. And I think the biggest thing is knowing who you are
00:11:51
Speaker
And I really don't believe that you can go forward without knowing that and having that strong foundation. And I am a very, very confident person. I would have told you like, I joke all the time. Like I know my strengths, I know my weaknesses, but really when it was, when it came down to like figuring out who I actually was and what I wanted, I was like, Oh, I have no idea. Like it was like, I hired a business coach and she's going through all these like,
00:12:15
Speaker
these exercises to help me find my leadership style, my strengths, and I was like, oh my god, I had no idea what I didn't know. There was no way I could have kept going and pushed through this glass ceiling, I think, that I visualized because I didn't know who I was.
Delegating Based on Strengths
00:12:34
Speaker
this last year, I'm working through my strengths and my leadership style and even like human design stuff, like the blue stuff, which I'm really loving. But it's crazy because now once I know my strengths, then I can go, okay, great. I know that I am not good at
00:12:50
Speaker
these things, ABC. So let me hire those people and put those in place because it's not worth my time to try to figure out how to do these things, right? And I think there's a balance of, again, back to that superpower thing, like we're trying to be super women, but really what makes us so powerful is the willingness to bring in community and let people help us because that's where the magic happens.
00:13:12
Speaker
Yes, I feel seen by that story because I think the same as you, like we have, Mallory and I, I think both of us have a really clear sense of what we're good at, the things we're not good at or particularly interested in, and that feels clear, right? Tactically clear.
00:13:31
Speaker
until last week when someone asked me to write a mission statement for life and I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I'm just sort of getting through it. I'm not sure. And yeah, we're still here and that's good enough. So yeah, it's the same thing where I think a lot of us get
00:13:54
Speaker
stuck in this place of clarity that's purely tactical and is not necessarily the bigger picture. And that's the piece that community can kind of be that mirror and be like, okay, yes, like I know you're good at that, but also like, what is going to make you wildly happy? Totally. And what like lights you up, like if you can stay in that, in that, like my coach asked me, she's like, what if you could do anything, money, money aside,
00:14:23
Speaker
like schedule aside, right? If you could do anything with your day, what would you do? I was like, I would go have lunch with women all day long. Play with dogs. Yours is dogs. Great. So you should be pivoting your business to something with dogs. I wanted to have lunch with dogs. Right. But it's like, I found out like execution is
00:14:42
Speaker
so low on my strengths. Like it was like off the church low. So she's like, you should not be setting yourself up for failure by doing anything that involves execution. Like you need to build your team around you, your support system that does all that execution.
00:14:57
Speaker
And you get to be the dreamer. All of my strengths are relational. Shocking. I built those differences around relations. But knowing that is so powerful. And then there's no guilt. I think we get stuck in the guilt-shame cycle also as entrepreneurs so many times because we see what other people are doing.
00:15:16
Speaker
Well, what we don't realize is that other people are living in their strengths. So if they're sitting there on Instagram and they're selling every single day and you're watching them and you're like, dang it, why do I suck so badly at selling? Like why I should be doing that. And you're like, wait, I actually am not a salesperson. That's not what I do. And so I should hire someone to do that, right? But I don't need to be doing that. And so we need to stop comparing ourselves to other people's strengths that maybe our weaknesses and really just sit and like, these are what I'm really good at. And so I love doing.
00:15:45
Speaker
So how do I capitalize on that, right?
00:15:48
Speaker
this feels so tied together because as you were saying this, you know, to live in your strengths, what I automatically thought before you said it was, yeah, because if you don't, like you just feel guilty that you're not doing all the other things that either you're not good at or you don't enjoy. And that leads us to that like 24 seven lifestyle. Cause you're like, all right, well I'm not good at this and I need to be good at this because she's good at this. So I'm going to just sit here for
00:16:17
Speaker
four hours and become good at this, even though I hate it and just want to have lunch with dogs. And I could have paid seven thirty dollars for one hour to fix it. You know, it's like it's that mindset shift. Yeah. Yes. And that guilt is so debilitating.
Aligning Vision and Goals
00:16:34
Speaker
So how do you talk through the guilt factor to your members? And are there any particular strategies that you give them or just like mindset shifts to be like, you know what, like, let's cut this out. We all do this. Let's stop doing this. Yeah, I'm actually so excited that you brought this up because this is going to be our kind of new mission for founders. So starting in the fall, I'm working on kind of a course and really diving into because I really do believe that vision can
00:17:03
Speaker
almost eliminate guilt. And I say almost, and I make a very big claim, but I really do believe it because I've seen it in my own life. So my vision, I have a personal mission statement and a business mission statement. They are very closely correlated, but not exactly the same.
00:17:19
Speaker
But what I know is that everything that I do and say yes to has to filter through that mission statement, that vision for our family, for my business. And when it does, it really does eliminate guilt. And I think it doesn't take away. I think sometimes we get confused because there's things like I miss a lot of things for my kids.
00:17:39
Speaker
I'm not the schoolroom mom. I'm not on the PTO. I don't make their lunches every day. I don't make them breakfast every day. They are very capable humans. I have four boys, 16 to five. They know that mom's not going to help them, so they're just going to get their stuff done.
00:18:00
Speaker
The reason why I feel okay with that is that I have this vision and they're watching me build like this empire and proving to them like you can do whatever you want with a lot of hard work and dedication and vision. But also I have in my personal mission is that I want to be available to my teens and my kids in the things that they love.
00:18:23
Speaker
And so they love sports. So I am at every single game. I think I had my, so my last baby was seven years after my third. He was a surprise baby. And he was, I think we counted, it was like, he was at 103 baseball games by the time he was like six weeks old. Because that's just what we do. We just show up for our kids, right? And so I have this like, I don't do a lot of things.
00:18:52
Speaker
because I didn't have the freedom to do the things that really matter to our family. And so my kids see me in those stands every single day. I don't have my phone out. I'm not working. I'm present. And that means sometimes I've been up a little bit later that night, right? Getting stuff done. Or I have to plan ahead and shift my schedule around. I don't book meetings those days. So there's things that, because I have this clear vision,
00:19:16
Speaker
that I'm sad sometimes. I'm like, oh, everyone's going on the field trip. I'm not going on the field trip. That feels kind of sad. But then I have a moment and then I move on because I know that that's not part of my...
00:19:28
Speaker
my big vision, right? And my kids don't care. They don't like schools. It's like they don't care if I'm not around, right? And so I was going to say, did you, so one of the things it sounds like you did was have some real candid conversations with your immediate network and saying what is important to you so that when I show up, I can be sure I'm showing up for the things you care about. Like, was that a conversation with the kids to be like,
00:19:51
Speaker
Mom, sports is my thing. And like, that's where I want you. Or I mean, you probably have a sense of it just because you're there. I don't think we had a full conversation about it. But just being aware of like, what lights them up, like you can see it, right? It happens to be sports in our family. It's different for everyone. But when they're on that court or on that field, like they come alive.
00:20:11
Speaker
they want to work out all the time. Like you can see their goals and their actions starting lining up to what they love, right? It's like, okay, you might get a C on your test, but like on that field, you are A plus, right? So just watching kind of what brings them alive and sparks them. And then just being present, like the older the kids get, they just need you. You're not as
00:20:34
Speaker
needed physics, like, in terms of like, you're not like having to feed them and making sure they stay alive, right? There's things that you kind of remove yourself from. But just being around, my kids have said it so many times, they're like, you know, it's like, Mom, oh my gosh, you're so obnoxious when you like cheer for me and you're like, like, Joe, but then in that, oh my gosh, in the days, like they write notes and they're like, Mom, thank you so much for showing up to my games, like,
00:20:57
Speaker
your support, like I notice that I see it, like it's important for them. And so I'm able to align my, when you can align your vision, your goals and your actions, because a lot of times I think people think they have vision and then they're doing completely opposite with their actions because they're caught in that day to day. And so even just like moving the date of like, I could have easily in my own,
00:21:25
Speaker
rhythm and unawareness maybe just kept that date and been like, it's fine, I'll figure it out. And then that morning I would have been crying and sad, right? Like, oh, no, that is an important thing I need to be there for. I need to be present because that's on my list, right? It's my important vision for my kids and then moving that around.
Family Values in Business Decisions
00:21:45
Speaker
I think a lot of what you said, pulling the arrow back
00:21:49
Speaker
and being able to excel for it also is in your personal life, is what it sounds like, right? But if you didn't have that personal growth to know your whys and your values and your vision is what you're calling it, like how would you know? And so I love this formula and just tying it back to then being able to get rid of guilt.
00:22:08
Speaker
One thing we've done in our family is we're shifting, this is a little toward the family side, but we actually did set values with our kids and we try to have weekly meetings in quotes, but even if it's twice a month, just over breakfast on Sunday. And so we have these values, gratitude, acceptance, effort, experience, and I think there's one more. But that way when it also just makes it easier to say no. And I think that is for what we're saying, right?
00:22:37
Speaker
So even on the business side, right? So if it doesn't align with the vision, doesn't align with the values or the kids come to us and say, well, we want a doc. Well, that doesn't align with our family values of having experiences because now every time we are gone, who takes care of the doc, right? That's a whole nother barrier. So same in your business life, right? Well, if I say yes to this, that means I can't do this. And this is one of our core values. So I have to say no.
00:23:02
Speaker
So it gives you permission. It takes away the guilt, but it also gives you permission and space to say no, I think. Love what you're hearing? Go from big idea to business owner in five days with our free Be Your Own Boss Bootcamp email course.
00:23:19
Speaker
Or learn how to implement the insights from this show in your existing business with our complimentary guide, Five Ways to Make Business Feel Better. Packed with practical tools and solutions, these resources draw from our collective 15 plus years of entrepreneurship and work with more than 100 clients. Visit unboundboss.com to grab your freebies. It's time to make work work for life.
00:23:49
Speaker
I'm just curious then, are there any tactics or ideas for people that you think maybe they're buying into this conversation. They're like, yeah, that's great. But what do I do?
Value of Coaches and COOs
00:24:00
Speaker
Do you have any tips for them of how to get started on trying to find out who they are or set those values or vision for themselves? Yeah, I think if you're a business owner, a business coach is probably the best investment you can make. And I know sometimes, like,
00:24:12
Speaker
I've been there. We cringe at the word coach, I think, these days, just because I think everyone thinks they're a coach. But if you can find someone who is actually trained, because every single conversation I have... And also, entrepreneurs, how many ideas do we have? Usually, we are not short on ideas. We could do a million things. But just because we have an idea doesn't mean we should do it.
00:24:37
Speaker
even if it solves a really good problem. I think that's the hardest part for entrepreneurs is we are problem solvers, which is why we go into business. We have this passion to help people. I ended up starting so many businesses because I felt like, well, I could help people do this. It comes easy to me. Let's just do this as a business. Then you get into it and you're like, wait, I don't actually even like this. Why am I doing this?
00:25:02
Speaker
And so I think just figuring out who on your team can help support you. I also have the COO who's like, nope, nope, we're not doing that. Nope, we're not doing that. Stay focused. My business coach is like, here's your goal. You told me in January this was your goal.
00:25:20
Speaker
Every single thing needs to filter through that. So if it's not a hell yes, it ties directly to your goal this year, it's a no for now. And it doesn't mean forever, but for now. And I think that's a hard part for learning how to say no is so hard, especially for me. I don't know if you guys are any of your grandfathers. I am an Instagram 7. I love to have fun. I don't like to feel pain. So anything that's exciting and new, I'm like, yes, yes, yes, let's do it all. And then you get burned out and exhausted. And then you can't serve the people that you
00:25:48
Speaker
are promising to serve with your business. And so I think for me, it was coach and COO.
Filtering Ideas through Personal Goals
00:25:54
Speaker
And I think some people don't know how accessible those things are. I know when we started a business, I was like, in my head, a COO was $250,000. There's no way I can achieve that, right? And then I actually met a gal in the foundress who was starting a fractional COO business. And she's like, if you know of anyone, I was like, me? I know me. I need help.
00:26:15
Speaker
That's me when I hired Mal. Yeah, it's like you, I think we just don't, again, go back to the first thing we said, like, we don't know what we don't know. And once you become aware of those things, it actually is so attainable, virtual assistants, fractional CEOs, fractional CFOs, marketing, like, there's so many things you could do to be creative to set yourself up with the team, even if you aren't making millions of dollars yet, right?
00:26:39
Speaker
Yes, and I think the interesting thing that you said there too is that just because you can solve a problem doesn't mean that you should be solving it right now, which is very hard. So hard. Yeah, because it's like it comes back to knowing your strengths and you're like, well, this is one of my strengths.
00:26:58
Speaker
And here's four ways that I could solve this for people. And so I will buy the domain today, and I will get the logo, and I will do the things. And then you're like, I also have all these other things. And so yeah, so like, I get very stuck in that cycle too, where, like you said, like, there's no shortage of ideas.
00:27:21
Speaker
It's just that like, you don't end up prioritizing anything when you try to do it all. And so that word filter, I've been hearing that from my resilience coach this year of being like, you know what, like, okay, here's all of your ideas. Here's your thank you for this 60 slide deck of your ideas. Just like you're an insane person. Now I want you to overlay a filter of ease.
00:27:46
Speaker
right? And then tell me what's still left or overlay a filter of joy and tell me what's still left. And I'm like, wait a minute with joy. Um, excuse me. No, no, like that is not a way. Is that part of the vision? Like,
00:28:02
Speaker
I think to be part of the vision. So it's very much whittling down what you were going to do, not just based on what you can do, right? Like we all have more skills and more strengths than we could possibly put into a business and get done. Yeah, my coach gave me a great exercise and we like build a house together. And we revisit this like every other session because again, I have a lot of ideas. And so she's like, in 2024, we are building the foundation.
00:28:33
Speaker
And that's all we're building. And so you might have some ideas, and those might be walls, and those might be a roof, and there might be a walkway, and there might be a tree, and a flower pot, and a mailbox. Like, those are all- I just want landscape. Totally. Those are all great things, but she's like, you can't landscape before you build a house, because it's going to get destroyed while you build it. So she's like, 2024, you have to focus only on the foundation.
00:28:55
Speaker
And then you build on that because if the foundation is not strong, then it's going to crumble anything you put
Consistency Over Entertainment
00:29:00
Speaker
on top. And if you have a broken foundation with a mailbox out front, no one's going to buy the house, right? Right. And you don't want to live there. Totally. I love that visual because, again, those ideas come so easily and we get excited about it. And I heard another quote, too, that was just so good. It was like, our business is not supposed to entertain us.
00:29:21
Speaker
which was like, ooh, ouch. Like that was a hard one for me. Cause I'm like, I'm building my dream. I'm building my passion. Like I want to have fun every single day. Well, that's not, that's not realistic. And also if you are doing consistent work in your business that feel familiar and you have rhythms, it's going to be boring. Like it just is. And that's okay. And that's a good thing because that means you're being consistent and your audience knows exactly what you do and they're not confused.
00:29:47
Speaker
Because if you're not bored, likely is that your audience is completely confused with how you do it. That's fair. Right? Because you're doing too many things. So I just love that. And for me, I need that grounding of like, once a month, like, what am I working on? What's my foundation? Is this a foundation or is this like a pot out front? Well, and sometimes I think we landscape, right? We landscape just to feel like we're doing something.
00:30:14
Speaker
And it's like, no, no, no, I'm busy. I'm busy, I'm busy. Because if you step back and you're like, well, I already did the foundation and I don't really need to do anything else with this right now, I guess maybe I'll need to engage with the rest of my life now.
00:30:29
Speaker
which seems a bit more complex than landscaping. So, you know, like, I think we get lost in our own businesses just to be like, you know what, I want to be busy. Absolutely. Like, if you're not printing money with your first offer, don't move on.
00:30:46
Speaker
Like you need to be making like we caught me a box money. Like that money just needs to be coming in consistently before you start that next idea, which is so hard for an entrepreneur. That's that goes way back to Mike Michalowicz who is the profit first found writer founder, but he also has the pumpkin plan book, which talks just about that. You can't have a million baby pumpkins. You won't have one pumpkin. That's like regular size. You have to filter all that energy into one
00:31:16
Speaker
Big healthy pumpkin before you can have another pumpkin i bring this up i just think the best visual for me but it's the same thing and we did this with our with business on bounce like we're gonna have retreats and we're gonna have our course we're gonna have this and that's like let's get the podcast going.
00:31:32
Speaker
Let's get our freebies going. Let's get our email list going, which is like not as fun, right? But that's the foundation. It's not, it's not shiny and pretty. Yes. I know. Yes. You know, cinder blocks. You're like, Oh, we're doing it. Totally. Like it's not, it's not pretty. I want the like paint and the windows and the, you know, the pretty things like the flower pots. Like it is, but it's so true. I think, and that's part of the slowing down and aligning yourselves, right? It's like,
00:32:01
Speaker
And it's not like you're never arrived, I think. And that's also a frustrating reality to entrepreneurship. It's like, I'm never going to be sitting back on my couch and being like, I made it. You're constantly refining.
Continuous Evolution and Learning
00:32:14
Speaker
And you could have more and more freedom financially and time freedom that comes if you stay focused. But then constantly, like you said in the beginning, Mallory, it's like you're constantly learning. And I don't ever want to not learn.
00:32:28
Speaker
I never want to get to a point like I see people who are retired and they're like, well, my views are my views and it is what it is. And I'm like, oh, gosh, that makes me so sad. Like, yeah, I want to constantly evolve and learn and know who I am so deeply. So that personal growth doesn't ever stop no matter where you are in your business. And I think
00:32:47
Speaker
This is a hard truth because I think we have this vision of success and what that looks like. I'm in our Mercedes driving down the road with my hair flipping through the wind on the way to the beach. Also, I would be bored to death if that was my reality. You're like, I did that yesterday. Totally. That's not a thing that I can keep doing every day. One time would be awesome.
00:33:09
Speaker
But yeah, it's like I want to constantly be evolving and growing and your business is going to constantly evolve and grow and shift, especially as you grow. Like a lot of times we start our business and it's, we are the target audience. And then we try to continue talking to ourselves and we're like, wait, we just left our whole audience back there. And so it's like, do we still focus on that or do we evolve it and shift it? And there's no right answer because it's different for everybody.
00:33:35
Speaker
Well, and it feels like we talk a lot about kind of the guilt factor that we actually need to talk more about that. The guilt factor or what success looks like. And then we try to find the shortcuts, right? But sometimes I feel like the shortcuts are actually what get us in trouble. So when it comes to this community piece, one of the shortcuts I think women get into is social media feeling like a community.
Social Media vs. Genuine Community
00:34:01
Speaker
And that's not always the same thing. It sometimes just drives the guilt or it just drives the comparison or it just drives the need to keep working 24-7 or all of these other things. And so I'm curious since you run a community that has in-person events and just coaching and advice and all of that,
00:34:27
Speaker
How do you find that that is a different kind of community than women who are like, yeah, I'm part of some groups online? That's not always going to fill that community gap, right? So what are your thoughts on that? I think you know when you leave the room.
00:34:50
Speaker
I mean, I created Foundress out of a total selfish desire because I had built this other business, Junk on the Trunk, with my partner and neither of us went to school. We had no idea what we were doing. We learned the hard way and we were really successful. We did great, but damn, it was hard. And we kept being like, gosh, I wish there was a group of women that had gone before us or are going through the same thing that we could sit down and go,
00:35:14
Speaker
What the hell are we supposed to be doing? Which direction do we go? Or just that camaraderie.
Creation of the Foundress Community
00:35:20
Speaker
And I think it was after seven years of saying that, my partner's husband was like, hey, I'm sick of hearing about this. You guys either need to do it or you need to shut up. And we were like, OK. So we started it. And it wasn't even supposed to be business. It was like, we're just going to start this community so that we can be part of it.
00:35:39
Speaker
And every time we left the room, it was like, oh, it was like this like deep exhale, right? And we just kept getting feedback and more and more people were like, this is so vital to our growth. This is so vital to our business.
00:35:56
Speaker
And I was like, Oh, this is really needed. Like this people need this because it is we're so used to that social media. But I mean, how often do you get off social media? And you're like, Oh, it feels so great. And she felt like never. It's not because it is it's all a comparison game. And even if it's something that's supposed to be encouraging you, you're going, well, why did they have
00:36:16
Speaker
10,000 likes on it and I only have five likes on mine. I said the same thing. It just doesn't fill you up and so we need that connection and the more digital we get in our society, the more desperate we are for that connection. I think there is virtual like this. We may not be in person, but we're having these conversations and that's what I think more of it is. It's like these conversations. It can be digitally if you're
00:36:40
Speaker
if you need that in your space, but it's that content. What are you talking about? What are you asking? I can walk down the street and people are like, how are you? Fine, good, how are you? Good, thanks. Have a great day. And that's not fulfilling us. We're putting on these masks to pretend and it's not true. None of us are really great all the time. So we need to have those honest conversations. This is effing hard, sorry for my language, but there are some days where you're just like,
00:37:11
Speaker
I'm just going to cry on the couch for 10 minutes because that's all I'm capable of doing right now. This is hard and having those conversations with other women that are like, yep, I did that yesterday. You're in good company. But then what we do with that is what matters. Then we get back up and keep going because we have that encouragement and support like you talked about in the beginning Nicole was like, sometimes we just need someone to go, you're doing a great job. Keep going.
00:37:36
Speaker
Keep going. I think that is the purpose, right? What we're saying is this is a more in-depth conversation. It's a deeper connection. So you could have an in-person group, a networking group that's still fluff is what you're saying about passing people on the street, right? So you need to filter that and notice if it's the right group for you. If you're having the in-depth conversations, when you leave the room, like you said, you'll be able to tell.
00:38:03
Speaker
And I think that is what we're seeking. So for those who are looking for it, if they don't have it in their space, they could create it like you did, which is hard. Or they might be able to do it virtually if they do it in a context like this, where you're having meaningful, you know, one on ones or
00:38:18
Speaker
Smaller group conversations maybe it's like a virtual mastermind or something that's a little bit more in-depth so for people looking that might be another idea.
Depth in Community Connections
00:38:28
Speaker
That's a yeah that's a great point is that it's how deep are you able to go.
00:38:34
Speaker
because scrolling through a social media feed and just getting one liners about your powerful and you're like, I don't this is don't feel it today, right? Yeah, like that. And then you just keep scrolling, you go about your day and it's so fragmented. And what you maybe really need is like,
00:38:53
Speaker
Three people that understand what you're doing to go out to lunch with once a month right and it's like I think unless we really Step back and are like is this what I need is this doing anything for me like filter that I'd be like is what I think is my community is that actually filling me up or not and
00:39:16
Speaker
And like you said, you're gonna know when you leave the room. You'll know when you put your phone down. It's interesting cause I, you know, as I'm growing and kind of shifting some of the principles and founders and planning content for the years, I went and surveyed all of our members, our past members, people who are following us who have never become a member. And I just asked them like, what are you looking for? What do
Community Needs and Authenticity
00:39:38
Speaker
you love? What you like? Just asking them questions. And it gave me so much feedback of like everyone, no matter where you are in your business,
00:39:46
Speaker
We do. We struggle with guilt. We struggle with shame. We feel like we're the only one going through this.
00:39:51
Speaker
And a couple of them were doing other networking events. So I called them and just said, I would love to pick your brand. What do you love? What makes you feel good? And they're like, actually, we don't like it. I was like, well, why do you keep going? It was just different classes, education stuff that they were trying to get in their business. And I was like, well, why do you keep going? And they're like, honestly, because I feel like we're supposed to.
00:40:16
Speaker
And I was like, oh, we're missing it. We're missing the point. It has to feel good in our soul. I don't even know another way to describe it, but when you walk out and you're like, I feel like I could go conquer the world at this point. That's how you need to leave if you're going to invest your time, because we don't have that much time. Time is limited, and that's the one thing we all have in common. We all have the same amount of time.
00:40:42
Speaker
So we have to be so careful with our yeses and noes and where we're putting our time because it does matter. And I think people get caught too in this, I'm sure you guys have seen it, like this education.
Education vs. Procrastination
00:40:53
Speaker
We talked about so much about like, we always want to be learners, we always want to, but it also can be a procrastination method of like, well, I'm just like, once I go through this course, then I'll be ready. Once I read that next book, it's like, no, you have to do them simultaneously. You have to start and you have to grow, but it has to be at the same time.
00:41:10
Speaker
Because otherwise you're never going to get there. And we use it as an excuse because it protects us because that step out is that unknown. We don't know what's going to happen. It's scary. Or you think that you're only ready to do once you somehow feel confident. And you're like, you're that we're never going to, we're never going to feel confident enough. Like we're never going to feel like we know enough. So just get on with it while you're learning.
00:41:36
Speaker
I think we have a fun, closer question for you, but I'm going to let Nicole ask it because we're getting close to our time here. Yes.
Guilty Pleasure: Historical Fiction
00:41:44
Speaker
Okay. So what is your guilty pleasure when you need a break from kind of that hustle of running your business? Is there something, whether it's an activity or a hobby or an indulgence or something that just helps you recharge?
00:42:02
Speaker
That's a great question. I actually love reading. So I used to always say I was not a reader. My mom grew up, I watched her read all the time. And I'd be like, ew, gross. I don't like to read. I'm not a reader. And then I started reading. It started with Nightingale. I'm sure you guys have heard of that book. Historical fiction is now my like, but I have to be careful because I literally ignore everyone.
00:42:27
Speaker
So my husband jokes, he's like, oh, we'll see you in a week. Anytime I pick up a book, because I will stay up till 2 AM, I will ignore my children, I will ignore my responsibilities. So I have to be very choosy on a win I do indulge. But yes, I do love a good historical fiction book. That's awesome. And your mom's like, I knew it. She's like, I knew it. I told you. I told you reading is cool.
00:42:50
Speaker
Well, we'll offline we'll have to exchange books. I'm a big reader as well. So that's super fun. Okay. Okay. Coley this conversation I felt like was speaking directly into me. I mean all these things I think if people could see me I was just nodding the whole time like yes. Yes. Yes So I just love that our visions and our views are so aligned and I just really appreciate you spending some valuable time that you have here Sharing your thoughts with our audience because I just I just really love this conversation. So thank you
00:43:20
Speaker
Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for having me. I think these conversations are so important. So keep up the good work. You guys are important. Keep going. Thank you. All right. Well, that wraps us up for this week. We will be back next week with another guest. Stay tuned.
00:43:35
Speaker
Thanks for listening. Visit UnboundBoss.com to download free resources, browse our courses, or leave us a voice memo for the podcast. And if you like the show, please subscribe, leave us an Apple review, and share your favorite episodes with other women entrepreneurs. Talk to you soon.