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Ep. 75 We Are Not In Fantasy Kansas Anymore
171 Plays2 years ago
Hold onto your Ruby Slippers.. We're not in Wildhill anymore...
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Transcript
Recap of Previous Events
00:00:03
Speaker
Previously on the hired swords. Well, I sure hope we get across this river. That's it. That's basically all that happened. You can go on now. I mean, anytime.
Introduction to The Hired Swords
00:00:51
Speaker
You're listening to the Hired Swords, a blankety-blank podcast.
00:01:11
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to another episode of The Hired Swords. I'm your Dungeon Master, Michael, and with me... I'm Michael! ... is playing Ash, I've got Jack, Jackson is Mikey, Daven is played by Derek, and Blaze is playing Krigs Golder or Sofrin Ember Oak.
Failed River Crossing Plans
00:01:30
Speaker
In our last episode, we were trying to cross the river trying to figure...
00:01:36
Speaker
This is a 30 minute episode You guys you derailed me I was I was totally gonna go all the way to and what do you want to do now? You derailed me you messed me up so
00:01:50
Speaker
Well last week you messed up our plan so this week you mess up. Good job. That sounds like you tried your plan again. Yeah, yeah. I don't know, I just was holding on for hope. I was hoping we would do it. It was just me. I did it too. Was I muted? I heard you. Everyone did it but me. The one who came up with the idea in the first place. Thanks everybody for listening to our podcast. A podcast.
00:02:13
Speaker
A podcast in which we discuss- We're bringing that weird energy. It's a super- You're welcome. It's the second episode of the night in the dressing room. I'm so glad that we could waste your, you know, last minute on just nonsense. Anyway, yeah. You like to talk about our show and how we make our show while we do our show. Hey, why don't you stop wasting time and tell them what the last episode was about? Come on, DM.
00:02:34
Speaker
Yeah, wow. There was a camp, there was a guy, there was a boat, there was a dinosaur. Oh yeah, the dinosaur. A plesiosaurus. Yep. A plesiosaurus. I think it's actually plesiosaurus, but like, I don't know. Have a plesiarist trip across the river. There you go. That's what we're trying. What a stretch.
Dark Mist Encounter
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah, so last. A plesiosaurus. Last, there was some darkness kind of playing around with our plesiosaurus.
00:03:02
Speaker
Yes, when we, you guys talked to- Did you just call it a pleasureosaurus? Pleasiosaurus. It's a pleasurecruisosaurus. It's a pleasurecruisaurus. It's a pleasurecruisaurus. You told me, oh god. Doctor's on it, so. Always. Boozecruise. Uh, anyway.
00:03:18
Speaker
By way of actual recap, you talked to Carmen Stone a little bit, tried some things to give him a little courage, and the water from the fountain in Lonely Hill actually worked. And then you tried to sleep for a night, struggled a little bit with sleep, saw the encroaching mist and darkness grow and become more dangerous, and then made your way to the boat in the morning
00:03:44
Speaker
casting Craig's casting a spell to try to create this creature that would tug your boat through the river through the water and Successfully casting this spell and getting that dinosaur creature to do so and as he begins to pull and pull you a ways into the water and
00:04:02
Speaker
you look back and you see the shore disappearing and you notice that this mist is kind of gathering around this creature that's pulling you. And the creature seems to kind of shake it off and be okay at first, but it continues to, the dark mist inside the water beneath the waves continue to pull around this creature and
00:04:29
Speaker
almost like try to affect it in some way and you're noticing this as you look down in the water you're also noticing every now and then you see those typhoon swirls of cyclones of black mist dart down and you've got the feeling this might be quite the bumpy ride across this river. So I need someone to just roll a d6
00:04:54
Speaker
I'll do it. I want to do it. I'm also curious, can I tell that Edwards being affected by this swirling, swirling darkness? You can see that he had to shake it off once and you're getting the vibe that it's, it's, it's kind of gathering again to come back towards him. It's not, it's almost like it's drawn to him like, like a parasite almost.
00:05:15
Speaker
What would you roll five? Okay, so you look out in the distance and you see one of these big cyclones swirl down and hit the water again and just Splash down and suck water up and this mist seems to suck up and billow up inside of this thing and make it bigger and stronger and it still looks like these these cyclones are drawing out of the water and feeding the mist above while putting more mist down into the water like this almost like it's one
00:05:46
Speaker
organism constantly. There's always one of these tendrils in the water somewhere, but that one was a lot closer to you than the ones before. And it continues to go and go. Krigs, did you have something you wanted to do? Well, watching Edward struggle with this underwater
00:06:04
Speaker
I guess darkness I'm gonna put both hands kind of cup them around my mouth and shout down to the water you can breathe air dummy and Have it raise its head above water and just kind of swim that way Loch Ness style okay, so it
00:06:25
Speaker
Well, a 19 minus four intelligence, it's, it understands what you're trying to tell it and begins to roll.
Edward's Struggle
00:06:31
Speaker
It's raised its head a little bit. Um, and, and it, it's like it. It's a. Breathing wise it's, it's fine. It's, it's, it's chugging along, but it, it didn't seem to really affect the, the way this mist is interacting with it. And if you'll make another charisma saving throw. Oh, fantastic.
00:06:53
Speaker
I know it's so cool. Yeah, I'm going to throw out dancing lights to kind of wrap around. It's it's like body above the water to see if light seems to deter it all, but probably not. Sounds like something a min maxer would do. Nice. Shots fired. Got him. Got it. I rolled 14 minus his three, so probably 11.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah. So he's probably not 10 feet from me. Or could he be? No, he's, he's over 10 feet long. So, uh, he's, he's pulling, pulling. And as he's going, you are seeing him lower his head and he begins to shake his head in, in pain. And, uh, he,
00:07:45
Speaker
He begins to he opens his mouth and lets out this roar as he suffers four points of psychic damage from this whatever this is that's like reverberating through him and He continues to pull you but a little faster now you guys are moving at a pretty good speed a pretty good clip across the water and you guys your boat is a
00:08:07
Speaker
not only being pulled in the direction that the Pelisiosaurus, or that Edward, is pulling, it's also, you are not directly behind him. The current of this river is causing you to ride along at an angle, you know, beside, kind of to the right of where he's pulling. And it's skipping you across the water now, because he's going so fast. I need all of you to make dexterity saving throws while you're hanging on to stay.
00:08:36
Speaker
on this. It's like being on that raft being pulled behind a speedboat. You're being basically pulled behind a speedboat now that this pain has caused him to increase his speed a little bit. So we'll have my dexterity. Dexterity. Nineteen. Oh, I rolled a twenty. Nice. Dirty twenty. Nice. Fifteen. I'm going to have minus plus two. So twenty two. So yeah, you guys are you guys are hanging on tight cruising. And I guess you could really use strength if you'd like either way when you are fine. But if we do this again,
00:09:06
Speaker
you have to roll that again, you can use strength as well because holding on tight or just keeping your balance either one. And so you're, you're successful, you got your knees bent, you're kind of keeping yourself surfing, you know, it feels pretty, pretty good. Carmen as well is, oh yeah, he's doing great. He's surfing on that thing as well. And he's looking around, he's kind of got this anxiousness in his eyes as he sees the smoke billowing everywhere. And it's, it's
00:09:32
Speaker
Gathering and coalescing. I need somebody to roll a D100 for me now. Yeah, not me. I'll do it. Do it. I have an idea, though, once it's going to be a 60 or whatever you're going to do.
00:09:51
Speaker
Uh, 47, 47, 47. So D seven. Yeah. 47. He continues to pull and as he's pulling you, you're skipping along the top of the water, holding on tight. Not much problem. Craig's, what were you going to do? Um, I'm feeling a little bold right now because I guaranteed everyone that this idea was like going to work, but also I don't much like the idea of seeing
00:10:20
Speaker
my buddy in pain, I'm gonna take another length of rope and I'm going to tie it off to one of the, like the holds of this boat that Devin has created. And I'm gonna, well, I'm gonna jump out of the boat holding onto the rope that Edward is holding and pull myself to him and try to essentially like,
00:10:48
Speaker
Give him, ride him like he's a water horse. All right. All right. Fun. So as you begin to climb out of the boat, being pulled by him, you're going to, are you just trying to pull yourself in the water with the rope? Like as you are like waist deep in the water or I guess shoulder deep in the water, hold it onto the rope?
00:11:11
Speaker
Imagine the rope is with his head above water as much as it is is like it'd be kind of like climbing monkey bars in a way I'm doing it. I'm doing the American gladiator style Okay, it's pulled pretty tight so you're doing that so go ahead and make a strength check as you pull yourself across here
00:11:32
Speaker
That's a 19 plus my strength at speed. I mean, just just moving. This thing is pulling you and you're moving. You're holding on tight, shifting your way towards him.
Krigs' Chaotic Ride
00:11:43
Speaker
So as you're able to do that without too much trouble, you know, 15 feet or so of just kind of sliding yourself across this rope, you guys are kind of looking. Carmen's mouth is wide open. Like what is happening as these dark mist cyclones are just jutting down into the water, causing these big splashes all around you. Look, Carmen,
00:12:02
Speaker
We never said we were smart. Yeah. This creature pulling you faster than you, than you're really comfortable with while this current is pulling in the long crossways away from you. Like it's almost like the power, the pressure of the river is so hard. It could pull away this, this rope from around this creature if, if it kept going too hard. And so, but then there's Krigs just pulling himself with his hands over to this creature to try to ride on his back.
00:12:32
Speaker
Make another charisma saving throw for the creature itself as these this mist is swirling up and coming up out of the water and down into the water all around him. Yeah. I'm going to I'm going to like I don't really have natural 20 of mine. Nice. I was just going to say that I'm going to I'm going to throw some use a chilled touch to maybe try to grapple and attack any of the
00:12:57
Speaker
Make me extra cool. Yeah. Yeah. So any any dark sunglasses now. Yeah. Any any darkness is going to like start seeing some little little skeletal hands grappling at it from from my side. So if it does any damage, I can do that. Otherwise, you're also going to see a shimmer across my body as a mage armor. Mage armor. I'm going to also cast a spell.
00:13:25
Speaker
I'm gonna cast Minor Illusion to make it look like Krigs has floaties on his arms.
00:13:30
Speaker
So that's funny. Just to be safe. Tell me how you know what floaties are. No, I'm just kidding. Well, one time back in sixth grade. Have you heard of a rune? This way I don't have to write my own lore. You guys can make it for me. That's smart. That's right. Gwen's probably sitting in the boat, um, just kind of having her eyes closed and clutching on to Dale for dear life. Great. Okay. So you're sitting in the boat. You're sitting down, holding on. Uh, yeah.
00:13:59
Speaker
Great, okay, everybody make your strength or dexterity saving throws again. Krigs, make your dexterity check as you try to land on the back of this creature. Gwen, you can make yours with advantage because you're sitting carefully holding on. Oh, bless. 18 plus two, dirty 20. Dirty 20. That's 17 for diving. I rolled 13 plus zero plus... It's a saving throw?
00:14:26
Speaker
No, it's a check because you're trying to do something. You're not affected by it. OK. Yeah, so that's a 14, which is pretty freaking low. So, yeah, Jockster, you lose your balance and you begin to you begin to fall backwards off the back of this thing. Let me see.
00:14:43
Speaker
what mister uh yeah he does okay he reaches out to grab you and he's unsuccessful to grab you as you start to fly off he reaches like he's trying to grab your cloak and you begin to to flail backwards and flip end over in uh as you flip around try to grab on you try to grab onto the boat one last time make another dexterity saving throw okay so that that's that's way better so that is a 24
00:15:11
Speaker
Yeah, so you're able to grab, but you're now being like, you're holding on, being pulled by this boat that's being pulled by this dinosaur with Krigs trying to get to right on its neck, but losing his grip with his feet and slipping. And he's now fallen, you've now fallen to the side where both feet land on one side of this creature's neck. Make a charisma saving throw for the creature again. Yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
Another natural 20. Okay, great. So the creature again, this, this, this mist, this fog just descends upon him and rises up to him from underneath. And as it does that, he begins to, he like tries to shake it off a little bit and it, it makes you kind of shake a little, but it's not super, super bad. You can make another dexterity check to see if you can land on his back.
00:16:10
Speaker
jocks or make a strength check to see if you can pull yourself back up. I'm not sure I'm I really like this for me. This boat choice. I cast mage hand and see if the hand can help try and pull them up. Yeah, you can do that for sure. So I got an add 20. Nice. Nice. So 27. You rolled a five.
00:16:30
Speaker
Gwen okay, so the overall the 16 Okay, you're 16 you're successfully straddle the neck of this creature There's nothing really to hang on to like he doesn't have any hair or fur and the rope is going around his front So you've now given up on the rope and you're just kind of like laying belly on him holding on with both arms and both legs very
00:16:53
Speaker
precariously as he is much wider than your wingspan with your arms. And so as you try to hold, but you're currently holding okay. Joxer, you go to pull yourself up and you successfully seem to do so. And just as you are about to swing your legs around and land back in the boat, Daven's mage hand appears. It just gives you a little pat on the bottom and make a dexterity saving throw.
00:17:19
Speaker
Come on. Don't worry. It's not a dead or alive situation. It's just for humor.
00:17:26
Speaker
Hey, uh, 19 plus nine. So, okay. So you feel the urge to tuck and roll, but instead you put a hand down and flip yourself over and do a cool, like one-handed cartwheel to land on your feet after getting kind of shoved on your bottom. But that mage hand, I guess is still there, right? Yeah. Yeah. So it's just sitting there waiting on who to help next and Gwyn.
00:17:52
Speaker
Yes. Make another dexterity saving throw with advantage, I guess. Everybody else has kind of done theirs. 16 plus two. Carmen's successful. Yeah. So you guys are all kind of riding this thing pretty
Approaching the Dark Void
00:18:08
Speaker
good. This monster's cruising. You guys are going pretty fast. Krigs, what are you doing as you ride this guy now?
00:18:15
Speaker
I have my arms. I'm going to reposition myself a little bit to where I'm choking up on the neck a little bit more. I'm going to put both my arms around the neck that's a little more narrow.
00:18:30
Speaker
I'm going to cast, I'm going to dump about four hit points, whatever he lost, it was lay on hands into him, uh, kind of giving him some hit points back. But I'm also just going to kind of say as with the water rushing, like, whoa, boy, Hey, calm down and try to give him some kind of soothing.
00:18:49
Speaker
whatever I can to kind of slow them a little bit and make it less choppy and just ease this traversal a little bit. Okay, make an animal handling check with advantage. Sure. Can I see him up there trying to hold on for dear life? Yeah, for sure. I would like to use Mage Hand. I got the rope on the side of my backpack. I want Mage Hand to grab the rope and just like take it up there and try and wrap it around the neck a little bit so he can use almost like a harness. Okay. I rolled a two and then an 18.
00:19:19
Speaker
Okay. So yeah, you successfully kind of calm him down and the pace that you're swimming slows a little bit, but it's basically as fast as it can go without being like more dangerous. So your check for the DC for your dexterity and strength checks decreases because of that. But you Davin or Krigs, as you're riding on this neck of this creature, this rope suddenly appears next to you and
00:19:49
Speaker
Is your mage hand visible? No, it's not. It's just a floating rope. So this rope just appears next to you and wraps around the neck of this creature and then the two ends of the rope hover there in front of you like ready for you to grab as like rains. Sick.
00:20:06
Speaker
So you are now riding, here we are at D&D, you're riding a plesiosaurus across the Black River with this corrupted mist darkness swirling all around you, shooting cyclones down next to you. One appears, one lands in front of you, just, and as you continue to go, it dissipates right in time. Pull up the reins on Edward and try to pull him around like I'm weaving around these things, like I'm truly kind of controlling a little bit more.
00:20:35
Speaker
Yeah, I'm envisioning on Tall Tale when the guy rides the tornado. That's what I'm seeing in my mind, except it's like a dinosaur head instead of a tornado. And you're riding that and you go right through the spray after the dissipation of the mist. And it's just the water that lands on everybody. And you're cruising pretty good. Everyone back. Refreshing!
00:21:04
Speaker
Everyone make perception checks for me. All right. Thirteen for Krigley. Sixteen. Two for Joxer. Three. Nineteen. No, fourteen. Sorry. I needed to add one character sheets. Would you roll to happen? Three. OK.
00:21:27
Speaker
Gwen and Joxer, Gwen, you look up from kind of sitting in the fetal position a little bit holding on for dear life and Joxer, you kind of settle yourself after that cool cartwheel.
00:21:42
Speaker
and the mist hits you all and then you look up and you see in the distance, Davin doesn't seem to notice, Craig seems to be too busy being heroic on the back of his dinosaur. Riding the lightning. Yeah. And so, but Joxer and Gwen, you look ahead and you don't see shoreline. You see the river seems to end in just black darkness.
00:22:08
Speaker
And it looks like it's still a ways off, far away, but it looks like night ahead of you. Like dark, like a tunnel almost, but it stretches from all the way west to east in front of you. And you continue to go to, uh, Kriegs, I need you to make another charisma saving throw for the monster. Sure, for the, not monster, for the dinosaur. And I need everyone else to go ahead and make your dexterity saving throws with a lower DC as you ride at a more normal pace.
Boat Capsizes into Darkness
00:22:37
Speaker
Is 15 plus two for Edward. Now that I'm, as a 15 plus two for Edward, now that I am close to him. Okay, great. 15 on my deck save. That's a 13 for me. 30 20. Okay. I'm not lying.
00:22:54
Speaker
So what was yours, Derek? Clearly, clearly. 15. Okay, so everybody succeeds. Jocks are just barely. How are you rolling so low on text? I don't know. That's, I had a plus nine. A plus nine. And I got a 13. Sheesh. That ain't good. Good thing it's a plus nine. So I'm seeing that picture of your natural 20 earlier. That's just all you get tonight, I guess. Yeah, apparently.
00:23:20
Speaker
So yeah, so you lose balance back to one foot, but then you're able to right yourself and it's getting, the river is just flowing so heavily. This creature is pulling and you look ahead and you see that darkness and it looks like just ominous and it's not billowing mist or fog or anything. That's still above you. And somebody roll a D6 for me, by the way, as that's still above you and you are just cruising headlong into this darkness. I'll roll a D6.
00:23:50
Speaker
So the moment just because I have a fear of all this, I'm going to cast Feather Fall on all of us. OK, OK. So all of us have if if we were to fall, we are not going to fall that hard. Fancy.
00:24:10
Speaker
Unless it's in love. Featherfall doesn't help with falling in love. Okay, so. Quick, everyone, roll the fall in love. Roll the fall in love. Oh, gee, 20. Oh, sorry. DC is 39.
00:24:27
Speaker
So you are cruising headlong, like I said, towards this darkness, this black darkness. And as you are going, everything seems to be in order with you guys have kind of got your balance. Carmen is successfully. Well, actually, I need to look at that. What is Carmen's? I'm sure his dexterity is high as a rogue, but let me check.
00:24:54
Speaker
Yeah, his dexterity saving throws are Shoot where is it there it is plus nine? Yep, so he got a 13 as well. So he is he's you know kind of with jocks or reaches out and kind of grabs his arm and him and jocks are both kind of settle themselves before falling and and
00:25:17
Speaker
As you begin to cruise, you're cruising more and more towards this darkness. The creature now sees this darkness ahead. And Edward, that is, Edward sees this darkness ahead. And as he does, he make a... What will this saving throw be for this guy? Make a wisdom saving throw for the plesiosaurus. It's better than charisma. Woo!
00:25:47
Speaker
It's not great, Bob. Uh-oh. Three plus two, five.
00:25:51
Speaker
Okay. I know them good rolls weren't gonna last. Pleasiosaurus does not want to approach that darkness. He lowers his head and just his fins spread out. Edward's fins spread out in full break mode. And his back fins spread out. And you suddenly, Krigs, you see your friends pass you.
00:26:19
Speaker
and they pass you as the creature stops. And when he stops, this boat sails by you at the speed he was going at, and you make a strength saving throw, Krigs. I was dead off to that boat. Everyone make a strength saving throw. No!
00:26:41
Speaker
Oh, this boat, this boat is now moving and beginning to to starting to flip end over end across the top of this water. Carmen 3020 saving through. So that's a 10. That's a 10. OK, so Carmen rolls an eight plus zero. So Carmen barrels, he loses his grip and he falls off and splash into this water. What did you roll, Gwen?
00:27:13
Speaker
I have a seven. A seven. So Gwyn lands in the water. Splash, jockser. I was a ten. A ten. So you also fall off, Daven.
00:27:24
Speaker
Nine. A nine. So all of you lose it. This boat just flips in over in throwing you guys across the water. You skip over the top of it a couple of times before landing inside. And the water is now pulling you and taking you. And you you're not only now being pulled from the east to the west like you were before, you're being pulled towards this darkness as this darkness looks. It's hard to know if it's coming towards you or you're going towards it as it is all consuming in front of you.
00:27:54
Speaker
Krigs, you hold on tight to your dinosaur friend and you watch your friends fall off of this boat and just be taken by this river towards this darkness. Edward! Please, my friends!
Mysterious Lifeless Shore
00:28:11
Speaker
Edward begins to swim towards where they're going, like with the current of the water. He's kind of being taken as it is anyway because he's not fighting against it. He's kind of stuck. Make an animal handling check again with advantage as you try to convince him to go against his will here. Four. And how long does he last? An hour. Oh yeah. He's not going to last much longer anyway. Nine.
00:28:41
Speaker
Nine and a four. Okay, so he lowers his head and he dives into the water. And as you are holding on to him, you suddenly go underwater. Everyone goes underwater. As you go underwater, the current seems to slow quite a bit.
00:29:01
Speaker
And as you are underneath this water, you obviously you can't breathe. It's just like being underwater at all. But you can see so clearly under here with your eyes open. It is not bright, but it is. It is this gray black.
00:29:21
Speaker
kind of visibility under here. And as you look, you can see your friends in the distance. You can see the large plesiosaurus Edward in the distance with Krigs holding on. And it's like everything's close but still far away. And as you look around, suddenly this darkness creeps around you and just begins to swallow all around you. What is everybody going to do?
00:29:46
Speaker
How close were we from where it seemed like the water edge was? It was hard to tell where you were compared to that black, the black darkness that was ahead of you. It was hard to tell kind of where that was. Uh, I would say you probably had an idea that, uh, it was not within swimming distance to get there. Uh, it was quite a ways, but at the speed this water seems to be taking you, it could be seconds and you'll be there.
00:30:13
Speaker
I would like to turn into a killer whale, please. Okay. Uh, you begin to cast your spell to turn into a killer whale and roll a d20 and add your spell casting modifier. Okay.
00:30:29
Speaker
I am going to cast light on my robe and I am going to start swimming towards that darkness. I don't know what I see under here if it's the same darkness. Yeah. OK.
00:30:46
Speaker
13 total. 13. Okay. So you tried to, you go to cast your spell and as you do, you, you get confused and the words get mixed up in your mind and, and suddenly you're just, it's like that emptiness that you saw ahead of you. It's like that emptiness is now
00:31:07
Speaker
in your mind and everything seems to slow down and you're getting closer and closer to it and jocks are as you swim closer everything seems to slow and and it's it's like you're floating not
00:31:27
Speaker
Not in water, but everything, every sense is dulled. Davin, every sense is dulled as you, the speed of this water takes you towards this darkness until finally you see nothing, you hear nothing. In that dream state you were in last night, you find yourself there again. That sounds terrible. What are you doing? Oh my gosh.
00:31:54
Speaker
I'm, I'm holding on for dear life right now with Edward. Honestly, um, I did not expect him to dive. Yeah. So it's a little bit like sticking your head outside of a car window, going 60 miles an hour with all those just water and everything. Yeah. Make a perception check as you're holding on. Uh, buddy, that's a, that one.
00:32:16
Speaker
OK, he's swimming so fast and it's like he's he's vigorously swimming. Now he's got this this extreme like urge, it seems, to go somewhere and.
00:32:32
Speaker
he suddenly vanishes, is gone and you're propelled forward. And as you're propelled, you feel this same sense of slowness and you, your hands are in front of you. That's as far as you can see until you don't see them anymore. And your thoughts are confused and empty and nothing, nothing.
00:33:00
Speaker
Everyone's experiencing nothing. And you're not asleep. You're experiencing this. This is the most empty darkness until you feel stones beneath you.
00:33:25
Speaker
Your face, all of you, your neck hurts, your body's, ugh, it's sore, it's tight. Your face hurts, your hands, it's like this gravel. And you hear a river rushing.
00:33:43
Speaker
And as you look around, you see you're all laying on stone gravel shoreline next to a huge rushing river behind you.
00:34:00
Speaker
When you look to one side or the other, you can see in the distance your companions looking at their hands and looking around and Carmen. He's standing there now and looking at you all and shaking his head, blinking his eyes, trying to figure out what's going on. What do you guys do?
00:34:21
Speaker
Oh, God. I vote. No more vote for boat. Oh, the boat worked out for a little while, but did we make it across?
00:34:35
Speaker
I believe so. Dale and I jerk Gwendolyn jerk tries to jerk up, but she oh, oh, my my back. And as soon as she gets to a set up position, she tries slowly to look for her bag. OK, is Edward still summoned or is he since dissipated?
00:35:02
Speaker
He dissipated. That's what propelled you into this darkness. I don't really have anything to say. I'm just kind of laying, just laying there like, Oh goodness. All right. Let's figure out what happened. Told you I'd get you across. Let's double check to make sure we actually got across. Oh, don't say that. I'm going to try and sit up and look around and see if there's any way I can assess what side of the river I'm on.
00:35:30
Speaker
Okay. Um, make a survival check. Okay. Probably not good. That's a seven. It's hard to know. Uh, you look at the, at the water and see it flowing. You see the darkness billowing above you, but it's very disorienting, especially after what you just went through. I have no idea where we are.
00:35:58
Speaker
But at least we're on land. At least we're all alright. Everyone is alright, right? No, I don't have a towel, Dale. Can't you see that I'm also soaking wet? Uh, I'll be getting up and like, there's gonna be a couple of pops and be like, uh, yeah, just fine. Just like normal.
00:36:26
Speaker
Well, okay. Do we see the... And I'm going to try to see if I can see through the water and then also maybe even see the blocks that were noted on the map. Okay. Make a survival check. Okay.
00:36:46
Speaker
Try to look around. Nope. We're out of rolls. Yeah, that's a six. There's a lot of rolling. A six. You look around and it's just too confusing. And where you just were was so empty that it's lingering. There's this lingering void in your mind. And so is there forest behind us?
00:37:15
Speaker
Yeah, as you look around you, there is forest all over. And without even any kind of check, you see the forest is darker. The greens are darker, the browns are darker, the ground is grayer. Everything's like it's had some sort of
00:37:39
Speaker
like stain applied to it to take some of the color out. Hey, Craig's, you recognize this. Devin, Devin, do you, is this, that's not what the forest looked like before, right? I, I'm, I'm not the best one to be asking, but it looks different to me. Yes. I don't, I don't think we're in wild Hill anymore friends. So this is,
00:38:07
Speaker
wherever we are is, this is where the hag took me, or at least, well, it looks that way. She took you here? Or someplace like this, wherever this is.
00:38:23
Speaker
This, this is what I think, I think we made it guys. What does the energy feel like here? Like from a nature standpoint, make a perception check.
00:38:50
Speaker
Uh, 13 plus nine 22. It is silent here. It is dead.
Exploring the Eerie Forest
00:39:01
Speaker
Um, the trees look like, I mean, they have leaves and stuff on them, but they, if you don't feel growth, you don't feel blooming or life in that same sense. Um,
00:39:19
Speaker
I want to look at my hand and see if I still have any of that that glow that kind of let me feel connected more to the wilds. See if that's still there. Yeah, it's there. It's dim. It's it doesn't feel like you've lost connection. It just feels like. If there was any kind of.
00:39:49
Speaker
safety or covering from it, you're outside of that. Do you guys think it's possible we entered another realm? I mean,
00:40:09
Speaker
Well, that... Something doesn't feel right. That map earlier where it had the wilds and the darkness and a center place, I mean, I don't find it outside the realm of being, or outside of understanding that this could be a different
00:40:39
Speaker
Yeah, this might be exactly the same place we were, just the other side. Devin pulls out the other piece of paper, the one that he had got from Darnaldi's place that shows the Shadow Wild and the Greater Glintry and the Wild and the different places that are all crossed out.
00:41:00
Speaker
He says, right here, it says, where else? It says the Black River and it's crossed out. That means he's checked this place and it wasn't the right place. I mean, maybe he was wrong, but it seems to me that at least he was here. Maybe it wasn't the Black River, but it was beyond the Black River.
00:41:19
Speaker
if Krigs believes this to be the same place that he was at. I mean, he honestly is the closest or the most familiar with this darkness, this shadow.
00:41:36
Speaker
Let's not get too ahead of ourselves here. I was merely, how shall I say, hijacked to such a place? Well, let's not ignore the moments before that where you were in a bit of a craze.
00:41:54
Speaker
Well, I mean, let's not get too, too ahead of ourselves here. I vaguely remember. Leading us astray a bit, not knowing what direction we were going. Doesn't even have a towel. I'm really wet. Do you even need a towel? Well, it sure does. Does it? I've never used it for that before.
00:42:21
Speaker
While they're talking, I'm going to, I'm already up at this point, but I want to walk over to the trees and, um, try to do speak to plants. Okay. So I already have a feeling of what's going to happen, but Gwynland doesn't. Um, and I placed my hand on the bark of a tree.
00:42:46
Speaker
and ask what happened. You place your hand on a tree and you feel it like push in a little like it's in a little crack appears on it as it's kind of like rotted. Then you ask what happened and you hear
00:43:14
Speaker
as this gurgling kind of bubbling sound emerges and this black foam and bubbles kind of come around the bark and just...
00:43:34
Speaker
And as it does that, as it absorbs, it gets on your hand because it's coming from the, especially that crack you put in it when you touched it. And you pull your hand away and it's like sticks, like tar.
00:43:50
Speaker
snaps back to the tree and fills in those places where it cracked with your hand being there, fills it back in, and you don't get an answer. The response is this refilling of whatever these little cracks and crevices were in this tree. Gwen has no answer. She has never seen anything like this before.
00:44:20
Speaker
are you all right I she kind of makes the same gurgling noise just I I don't know and she turns around and she I assume that she would have a little bit of the black goo still on her hand from the snapback oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah okay and she just kind of puts her hand up
00:44:46
Speaker
I, she just looks at it and then turns it around again to face the group. It seems like they're infected. I, and she takes it and just smells the component in her hand and takes her fingers and kind of does like what it, almost like what a child would do where she kind of plays with it. She doesn't know,
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah, it's kind of got this consistency of like silly putty. Yeah, this like rubbery kind of feel and but it doesn't hurt you. But it's it's this just this grotesque feeling and and it just it's it. Yeah, it's really gross to you that the looks of it. Yeah.
00:45:37
Speaker
And she'd probably just turn around without really saying much. And I assume like where we're at, there's like a little bit of forest in a sense. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I want to start walking into it. Okay. Everyone make history checks as she kind of shows you that black stuff.
00:45:55
Speaker
Real fast, Devin looks over at Jockster, he says, it's time, and I'm gonna pat my chest and cast Mage Armor. And then look at him, expect it to leak. I already got it. It's time. Yeah, I'll also cast it. And I'll, in the previous conversation, you'll feel a warmness in your clothes, because presentation, you can do like warm. And in my stupidity, I assumed that was drying.
00:46:23
Speaker
Um, so, so, um, see, you can, you can totally dry clothes with this, this, this prestigious. You're getting sweaty. Uh, all right. We were rolling. Your clothes suddenly feel like you just took them out of the dryer, but they're not quite dry. They're just damp and warm. Yeah. I rolled a four. Okay.
00:46:45
Speaker
I rolled a 14, but I don't remember what we were rolling. History. Oh, history. That's never, uh, yeah, minus one. So 13. Okay. 12. Okay. Gwen, what'd you roll? Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to roll. Yeah. I thought it was me walking off and- No, you're thinking about it while you walk off, so you can still roll it. I remember the bear.
00:47:08
Speaker
Sixteen plus two. Eighteen. You you killed a creature and had a tree pull its body down under the ground with the roots. Docks and remembers. And then this black nastiness came up out of the ground that this is this was very similar to that. The player, Michael, was sitting here like, why is no one else yelling at her like they did? They didn't answer whenever. Yeah.
00:47:35
Speaker
Yeah, very similar to that, Gwen. Gwen definitely remembers that now and it brings a bell. We've all quickly learned. Don't yell at Gwen. Gwen takes off walking into the forest. By the way, Carmen looks up at her and we're not going to let her go in there alone, are we? Of course not. This place is horrifying. Yeah, we're following. She just tends to lead. She does this sometimes, yeah.
00:48:03
Speaker
Well, as long as we're all on the same page and he begins to follow her. He pulls his sword out and he's just carrying it close as he walks.
00:48:14
Speaker
in you know and he's he's going kind of he's going staying on his toes and trying to stay close to something he could hide behind as he walked you kind of get those rogue vibes it's a it's a pink panther just a tree I can't sing anymore because copyright
00:48:37
Speaker
I'll just look over at the other two and just kind of side and here we go again and walk. Forward. Okay as you guys begin to walk for you continue to head north or what kind of direction are you wanting to go it's great question when i have an idea.
00:48:58
Speaker
She just went straight into the woods. I just went straight to where I was from the ground. If you keep walking where you were kind of where you went over towards the nearest trees, you're going to be walking kind of to the northeast. Okay. And so you guys continue to walk that direction. Somebody roll a D 100 for me.
00:49:17
Speaker
He wasn't rolled for a while. You guys all have done quite a bit of rolling. I guess I can go another D100 unless Blaze wants to do it. Pass! Okay. He's scored nine. D2. I really kind of like use all your rolls whenever you straight up rodeo a dinosaur across the river with all your friends in tow. Good call. That's a good point. So as you all continue to walk,
00:49:48
Speaker
The silence of this forest is deafening.
Entities in the Forest
00:49:54
Speaker
You hear the sound of your footsteps and every now and then you'll hear the sound of something seeming to fall from a tree and hit some branches on the way down just
00:50:05
Speaker
little sounds like that sound like large, just so loud, just because of the background of silence that they land upon. And everything, like I said, is shades of black and gray. The shadows are darker. The light is dimmer. You don't see a real sun. You just kind of see like a glow of light above you.
00:50:35
Speaker
every now and then when you break the tree cover when the tree cover breaks above you and
00:50:43
Speaker
Every now and then you walk by what looks like a bush or something that is grown with leaves and everything. They're a darker, shadowy green, but they look like places where there should be berries or flowers. Gwen, you would recognize by the leaves what these trees are, these bushes are.
00:51:05
Speaker
And Davin, or not Davin Joxer, you may would notice too, but there are no, there is no fruit, no flower, no blooms on these plants. And the ground even seems as you step, the ground even seems to
00:51:23
Speaker
ooze this bubble foam of gray and black as you step. And that mist, that same dark mist and shadow, never make perception checks as you look around and notice this dark mist and shadow around you in the trees weaved throughout everywhere you look. Sixteen. Five. For cringly. Thirteen.
00:51:50
Speaker
I pulled out. I decided it was too silent, so I pulled out my Walkman and just started maxed out. Got it. Got you. Guardians of the Galaxy style. You mean your zoo? Star Lord. Yeah, my zoo. 25. Nice. All right. Krigs and David, what'd you roll?
00:52:15
Speaker
13. I got 16. Yeah. Krigs and Daven, you're noticing that the, that smoke seems to be, or that fog seems to be appearing as you, every now and then you'll walk and look between a couple of trees and you'll see like a pillar of that smoke there. And it stretches from the ground up to the bottom of where the tree limbs begin. And you notice they're, it's, they're huge, just massive. Gwendolyn, you're noticing that too.
00:52:44
Speaker
but as you walk and you look you notice that every now and then they have like a shape of like a humanoid shape and it's like just when you notice you think no that's not
00:53:00
Speaker
That's not what it is. It's, that was weird, but it's like the shadow of a person, but then it morphs back into just this column or pillar looking shape. And it's almost like seeing out of the corner of your eyes, something there. And then when you look, it's not, but you're looking directly at them and you're like, that's a, no, it's not, that's not a person shape. That's what's, what's wrong with me. And it happens and happens again and happens again until you start to get a little, little suspicious of this.
00:53:32
Speaker
And then finally, you look at one and you see golden eyes blink at you. And then the whole column vanishes. What are you going to do? Well.
00:53:53
Speaker
She's just gonna, she hasn't really said a word. I guess cause she's in the front, no one can really see her face. So I feel like she would startle the party. I know you're there. Just, we're not going to hurt you. Just show yourself. When did you hear something? No, I saw someone. I'm on high alert. I was so distracted that I am now like,
00:54:23
Speaker
Okay. I don't think they're... Don't be alarmed. They're just... They might be scared. Or they might be planning an ambush. I mean, I don't know, but it doesn't feel that way. They've been following us for a while. It's okay.
00:54:53
Speaker
I'll pull out spell slots and focus on his blind side to see if there is anything that I can see within range. Okay.
00:55:07
Speaker
Is there anything special to what he can see or how he sees? Just besides just, I know blind sight just means anything even hidden, right? Yeah, yeah. So anything that exists within that space, which I want to say it's 30 feet, so not super far. But as long as it's like within that, so perceive its surroundings without relying on sight within a specific radius. Yeah, so.
00:55:37
Speaker
As long as that exists there, he can see it. You enter into this state of sensing that spell slots is in. And at first it's just kinda.
00:55:58
Speaker
like these echoes of the presences of something, and then you realize that these echoes are flashing in and out of existence all around you, all the time, constantly. Just...
00:56:16
Speaker
in and out, in and out, existing, not existing, appearing, not appearing, and they're just there, their presence is, as soon as you realize one's there, it's gone again. As soon as you realize something's behind you, it's gone. And it is overwhelming and disturbing all at the same time, as you are completely surrounded, yet no one is there all at the same time. And that's where we're going to leave the episode.
Cliffhanger with Mysterious Entities
00:56:41
Speaker
Well,
00:56:42
Speaker
Fun times in the forest. All right, so three potential end of the hired swords in one episode. Congratulations.
00:57:01
Speaker
Thank you for listening to this episodic installment of the Hired Swords. If you liked our show, do us a favor, tell a friend. If you really liked our show, tell the world, leave a review. If you want to keep up with us on all the behind the scenes goofs and gaffs, you can find us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at the Hired, that's our shop, at the Hired Swords. If you want to check out our merch shop, you can visit thehired.store. Again, thank you so much for listening and see you in the wilds. I hope.