Transcript
Speaker: If you have a ah dream on your heart, pursue Don't let anybody talk you out of it because that vision was made available to you, to no one else. So people, I mean, don't quote me, but I don't know my Bible very well, but it's like Jesus wasn't accepted in his town when he started his ministry.
Speaker: Sometimes the people closest to you may not see what's been placed on your heart. And for me, my faith is a very important part of my life. So... When you have the vision and you see it in your mind's eye, follow it.
Speaker: Just it. Even if it's a one action a day towards that, do it. And then, it's because let's say you want to do something but you feel you're too old a newsflash, in five years you'll be older than you are today.
Speaker: So why not start today on that dream and work towards it?
Speaker: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Entrepreneur Speaks podcast. I'm your host Kofi Anumedu. My guest's career spans 18 years across operations, compliance and HR with experience at institutions like Blackstone and Morgan Stanley.
Speaker: She now serves as a fractional Chief Operating Officer and Operations Advisor, partnering with boutique firms to bring order behind the scenes so growth can be sustainable.
Speaker: My guest is also my mate at the famous Achimota School here in Ghana. My guest today is Christelle Nyameke.
Speaker: na we Christelle, welcome to my show. Thank you, Kofi. It's good to see you. and I'm glad to be here. All right. And pardon me for for for for not getting the name right. How could I have forgotten your first name?
Speaker: It's okay. I may forgive you. All right. So my guest once again is Christelle Nyameke. All right. So welcome to my show. For those meeting you for the first time,
Speaker: Can you please tell us about a bit about yourself? Okay. So, hi. I'm Christelle. Thanks again for having me here. So, in terms of my background, I'll give a little bit of personal and a little bit of professional.
Speaker: And so, I'm half Ivorian, half Ghanian. spent my early childhood up until middle school middle of middle school in Ivory Coast and then middle school to high school in Ghana. So, I went to Morningstar and then Achimota where I met you.
Speaker: And then I came back to the US because I was born here. so that's a little bit about my personal side. So French is my first language. English is my second language. In terms of how I, my background here, I majored in political science and sociology anthropology with a concentration on African studies.
Speaker: And so I have a liberal arts background, so that enabled me to have access to a number of professions. And I have a graduate degree in comparative politics and another graduate degree in information and knowledge management.
Speaker: And so i was a prime candidate for compliance and financial services. So that's how I started in the industry. Compliance is a lot of gray and operating in the gray.
Speaker: And liberal arts graduates are generally well poised because it's not black and white. And so I started in financial services. And I stayed in financial services for about 18 years until I started working for myself. Although I did work briefly for myself right before COVID.
Speaker: And then COVID changed things. So yeah. All right. so So you just talked about your nearly two decades of experience, which spans operations, compliance and HR. And you've also worked with powerhouse institutions like Blackstone and Monga Stanley.
Speaker: So can you take us through the 18 year journey? What were some of the defining moments? Some of the defining moments, let's see. fun i wasn't familiar with financial services in the U.S. i No one in my family had worked for financial services in the U.S. And so there's a concept called securities registration where you register individuals for their licenses to be able to practice as a way of protecting investors to make sure everyone has the same baseline.
Speaker: And so when I was A long time ago, I'm going to age myself, but almost two decades ago, there was a website called monster.com. I'm not sure if it's still around, but i uploaded my resume because at the time I was a receptionist and I was a consultant of a firm, but i was like, I'll upload my resume and then I'll apply for jobs as I see them.
Speaker: So HR for Morgan Stanley happened to be browsing monster.com to this day for which I'm incredibly grateful. And so when HR called me and said, would you like to come and do registrations for Morgan Stanley, I thought she was talking about vehicle registration.
Speaker: Like when you register your vehicle to be on the road, i' was like, oh, like the DMV, which is the Department of Motor Vehicles. She was like, no, no, no, financial services. But while I was speaking with her, i pulled up the Morgan Stanley website and she was interviewing, she was trying to get me in for a job in Baltimore, Maryland.
Speaker: So I pulled up the website while I was on the phone with her and I said, I don't think you're legitimate. I do not see a Morgan Stanley office in Baltimore on your website. Like, you know how companies have office locations?
Speaker: It's like, I don't see Morgan Stanley in Baltimore, so I don't think you're legitimate. And she said, no, no, no, we're about to open that office. You would be part of the cohort. But the fact that you're questioning me about this,
Speaker: tells me you're the right person to come in for an interview. to come in for an interview And so I went in and there were a little over 20 of us, I can't remember the exact number, maybe 25 or 26 of us who were hired to start the registrations functions in the Baltimore office. And then once the office went live, that's when it came up on the website.
Speaker: So that was one of my defining moments and sort of like using my attention to detail to sort of push back because I didn't want anybody to offer me a job that did not exist. Another one ah was probably about two or three, about two years then I got feedback that I was very polite, which as you know, like ah the way we were raised, like you're very polite. But in financial services, if you don't find that balance, that politeness can be seen as weakness.
Speaker: And so the feedback I was given is, we know you are not weak. We know you can survive in this industry, but you were so polite to a fault that you're going to be looked over for a lot of opportunities. So you need to start exercising your voice. You need to start speaking up when you're in meetings. You need to own the space that you use.
Speaker: And so that was a defining moment. And the person who gave me the feedback, she's now retired. She didn't just give me the feedback. She paired me up with a mentor. And that was the beginning of my career because the mentor basically just helped me to refine my voice because, you know, like how well we Growing up in Ghana, especially, it's like when adults are speaking, you look quiet and you listen. And I was the youngest by far in a lot of these meetings. So I had the same mindset, oh, let the grown-ups speak.
Speaker: But I didn't realize that was harming my career at the time. So my mentor helped me to get over that hump and speak up in meetings, which once I found my voice, that was it. There was no going there.
Speaker: Very interesting. Yeah, so those are the main defining moments of my career that set me up for the rest of my career trajectory. Okay, ah very interesting. but Now let's talk about what you do now.
Speaker: So you now run Yubora Solutions. yeah um Can you tell us about the name? I'm fascinated by names of organizations. Why the name Yubora Solutions?
Speaker: so I wanted an African name that would go to like point towards my history and my roots. So Yubour is actually a Swahili word for excellence. So I wanted that to represent everything that I do. So my tagline is excellence always in all ways.
Speaker: And so I want that to be the underlying experience for my client. Excellence always in all ways. Yeah. Wow. That's nice. All right. So now,
Speaker: yeah So now let's talk about Ebola solutions and what you do. So what' whats what is your your organization about? what's What but do you focus on? Sure. So UBORRA is my umbrella organization. So under UBORRA, I have UBORRA Property Solutions.
Speaker: I have UBORRA Solutions, and then then I have other ventures as well. UBORRA Solutions is a college applications assistance service for Columbia University. UBORRA Property Solutions is about helping owners of small businesses to sort of be organized. I'm essentially a chaos coordinator for individuals who are not quite ready to hire someone full-time. So I do operations, which is pretty much, in Mayman's term, organizing chaos, whatever that chaos looks like for the person running the business.
Speaker: So everyone has a different pain point. It could be hiring. It could be writing down policies and procedures. It could be reviewing systems to make sure things work the way they should.
Speaker: It could be chasing down vendors for payments. delegating things. So that's what Ubora Property Solutions does. It's essentially freeing up business owners to focus on what got them in the business in the first place.
Speaker: So a lot of business owners are not able to scale because they get caught in the minutiae because they have to do everything by themselves until they're profitable. So the fractional concept bridges that gap.
Speaker: So I come in as a consultant and help them for as long as they need until they're ready for a full-time person. Okay, I still want to to pick on one of the things you said, and because this is the first time hearing it, that you are a chaos coordinator.
Speaker: that that That sounds interesting. let's Let's talk about that chaos coordinator. What do you do? What do you do? and So essentially, I basically, when I talk to business owners, I find out what their pain points are.
Speaker: So chaos looks completely different for everyone. Like the last client I had, one of the clients I had, he wanted help with his calendar because his calendar was extremely chaotic. There were like three or four email addresses merged into one.
Speaker: So he was constantly double booked. His EA felt she had no control over the calendar. So chaos for him meant please get handle on where I spend my time because I'm not moving as quickly as I want to to meet my business goals.
Speaker: So essentially, the way i explain chaos to people is what is that one thing that at 2 a.m. you're like, oh, God, I still haven't gotten to it. Or you've crossed it off your to-do list more than two times.
Speaker: It's on your to-do list today. You push it to the bottom. You say, oh, tomorrow i take care of it. Then tomorrow comes. Like, oh, tomorrow i take care of it. That usually points to something that's chaotic. And that's, you're spending a lot of time trying to fix. So my goal when I have conversations is to extract those pain points and then show clients what I can do to fix it because organization is my superpower.
Speaker: So the term chaos coordinator came a long time ago when I was head of HR for a small firm. Someone nicknamed me the chaos coordinator because it didn't matter what the emergency was. If you came to me, i would fix it and I would fix it quickly and then move on to the next thing. Thank you.
Speaker: We keep learning every day, so I'll learn something new today. hey so so So what kinds of clients or businesses benefit from your services?
Speaker: Anyone really, any small business owners, usually 25 people or less. Sometimes at 25 to 50, they may not have full-time people, but they typically do.
Speaker: So 25 employees or less or 25 consultants or less. Solopreneurs, which are individuals who just started a business and don't have anyone. They're doing everything themselves. So those are solopreneurs.
Speaker: Entrepreneurs who've delegated things and they're ready to scale. So I serve both solopreneurs, entrepreneurs, and small business owners. And they come from any industry. I've actually also helped people get organized in their personal lives.
Speaker: That was just someone just observed how organized I was and asked if I could help her bring structure to her personal life because she had she has kids and she was like, I just need to be a bit more organized in my personal life.
Speaker: So that was like a one-off, which is, it was interesting because I have managed staff in a home setting. So that was interesting to go back to that as well. All right. So we all know that the journey you are entrepreneurship is not a walk in the park.
Speaker: There are a lot of ups, downs. So let's spend some time talking about your journey. Let's start with the wins. Can you share some of the wins with us? For me, it's um I'm happy to. It's just seeing the satisfaction and buying back time for people. So like one client I bought back three hours a day so their calendar, that person can use it for however he wants to, whether it's spending time with family, working on his business, going to his kids' games, like Really, it doesn't matter what they use it for, but it's just finding those efficiencies. Because when you have a gift, whatever that is, for me, that's organization that comes naturally to you. Things that you think are very basic not basic to people whose gift it isn't. They have gifts in other areas. So for me, that satisfaction of giving people back time and being able to be very present with their loved ones.
Speaker: Because the truth is at the end of our lives, no one is going to talk about the most beautiful spreadsheet that we created. The beautiful meeting is your loved ones are the ones going to remember the most. So for me, that satisfaction of giving people time to do whatever it is, whether it's a hobby, whatever they need to do with that free time.
Speaker: And also the winter, the validation that your gift is a gift. Because sometimes you think you're gifted at something then no, well, if no one has any use for it, then it's not particularly the right fit.
Speaker: But the fact that there's so many people who need, who would love assistance with organization, that's a win because that was a step of faith. I'm like, I'm organized and people keep People kept telling me over the course of my career, super organized.
Speaker: You think in 3D patterns, you can see five or six steps out. So just leveraging that and ultimately using my gifts for the greater good. Because one of the things I've promised myself is not to get to the end of my life and wish I had used my gifts more.
Speaker: So those are the wins. So just as we've talked about wins, I'm sure there's been doubts and a lot of challenges. Can we touch on some things? challenges so far on this journey?
Speaker: Yes. Keeping a roof on your head as an entrepreneur. Like if you don't work, there's no payment. at The downs, you are never truly on vacation, which I had to wrap my head around. Like, oh yeah, I am on vacation. It's the weekend. I'm like, no, I am actually not fully on vacation. I still have, I have systems in place where I disconnect. I'm not working seven days a week.
Speaker: But that's the downside and sort of being intentional about where I'm spending time. So since I started running this on my own and no longer in corporate, there's certain events that I can no longer go to because time is such a premium. So i always think about before i attend an event or a gathering, I have to have three good reasons for going. And if I can't,
Speaker: then it's not the right time. And I still love my friends and my network, but you have When I first started on this journey, I studied successful entrepreneurs who all said you have to be obsessed about your business.
Speaker: You have to live, breathe and eat your business. And there's a fine balance between like being going all the way to the deep end and then just not doing a good enough job. So that's the downside because it you feel like you're sacrificing a lot. You see social media where people are partying and dancing and having a grand old time. And you also...
Speaker: Basically solving problems for clients in the middle of the night trying to think of different solutions. So that's the downside, but it's temporary. Eventually, when you get to a certain size and sort of that's what who you see now leading all the big movements, then you have some time to and take your foot off the gas. But i will I've always been told the first three years that you would have to be all in and have your foot on the gas.
Speaker: So it's a short term downside. Yeah. All right. So we talked about the apps, we've talked about the downs. And I'm sure like any journey, there's also been a lot of lessons you've picked up.
Speaker: Can you share some of these lessons with us? Sure. That shyness isn't going to get me clients. It's one of those things where I am an ambivert, so i can, I'm an introvert, but I'm also an extrovert. So if I'm in with large crowds of people, i disconnect after a while and spend a day or two by myself just to reset.
Speaker: But as an entrepreneur, I had to learn that you have to be present. You have to be on at all times. You have to talk about your business. And so which initially seemed to conflict with the lessons we had, especially coming from an African home about humility, where if you're talking about your business, you're bragging, but you can't scale if you don't talk about your business. Like I talk about my business to my Uber driver. I've gotten business ideas on how to refine them from Uber drivers, from people in the grocery store, any chance you get.
Speaker: So that was a lesson I had to learn. It's a muscle that I have to develop every single day. Usually I would go to networking events and say hello, hi, but I'm like, I need to tell people what I do. it reminded me of um the other day when someone sent me an email and said, oh, I didn't know you could help me with X, Y, and Z. I've been talking to this lady since April.
Speaker: completely forgot to tell her what I do for a living. but I just enjoy her as a person. And she heard she had a problem and someone else said, Oh, how do you know, Christelle? Can you, you can, Christelle can help you solve that problem.
Speaker: I need to do a better job at telling people the problems that I can help them with. So, That, for me, is just finding that balance between the West African culture I grew up in and sort of being here in the U.S. and how entrepreneurs go about their lives and how they speak about their business and they're very assertive.
Speaker: So that's a lesson, like sort of finding the middle ground where I'm so true to myself, but I'm also advocating for my business. So now let's talk about the things you do. So so many people are unfamiliar with the concept of a fractional business.
Speaker: Chief Operating Officer, COO. Could you please break this down for us? What what was the role of a fractional COO? Sure.
Speaker: So the term fractional has been around for a while, I think since the eighty s It's essentially outsourcing what would be a full-time job. So you have fractional COOs, like chief operating officers, fractional CMO, chief marketing officers, fractional CFOs, chief financial service officers.
Speaker: Essentially, anything that has a C in front, like a C-suite job, you can be fractional. For the fractional organizations where COOs, CMOs, and CMOs all get together and talk about best practices.
Speaker: So it's essentially... When people do not or cannot have the full-time headcount for a particular job and they outsource it, so essentially a consultant. So a fractional COO is essentially a fancy term for a fractional chaos coordinator.
Speaker: because that's pretty much all you're doing, but you're doing it for multiple people at once. So someone may hire you for four hours here. someone may So I do hourly, I do retainer, where someone pays me a flat fee per month as needed to solve problems for them. so Think of it is very similar to like a chief of staff. No two days look the same. and You fix whatever problems happen to be the problem du jour and you keep it going. But the goal is to free up the leader so much so that they don't have to worry about what goes on behind the scenes.
Speaker: They're helping the clients. They're focused on front facing. So I look backwards to the business, how it works, and the business owner looks outward to client. So so building on what you just said, so what would you say to someone considering a similar career path? What would be your words to someone like that?
Speaker: ah Do an audit of your gifts. Where do you feel the most strong? And if you're not sure, ask the people around you, what do you think I'm really good at?
Speaker: And then when people give you those answers, you'll find the theme. So there are reasons that I've seen clear path to operations. So I graduated college like 20 years ago, so I don't know if there's now a major, but when I was coming up, there wasn't a major for operations because it's so broad and it means different things to different people.
Speaker: But all it is, is the ability to organize people, processes, and paperwork. If organization makes you cringe, you may not be the right person for this space because you need to be able to think of it as thread. You have the thread on, I think it's called, sorry, Frenchman, whatever, the spool, where you keep thread organized.
Speaker: But like if you're trying to sew and the thread isn't organized, it's in the jumble, just sort of like all together, that's how problems come to you. The owners basically say, here, here is the mess and your job is to straighten it out. So one is understanding what's important to them. So I had to learn early on that what I think I'm solving for may not be what the person prioritizes.
Speaker: So understanding what's a priority and an easy win to them. So don't be discouraged if people don't and don't see the value in what you bring, like your network.
Speaker: Because I was told to go in so many different directions, but I kept coming back to the audit of my gift. Like, I love organizing things. I organize my home. I organize my shoes. I organize my clothes.
Speaker: I like organizing things. And so was like, this is where I need to be. But I also asked people who were not related to me, am I as good in organization as I think I am?
Speaker: And so you have to be willing to hear the feedback from people. And then once you get the go ahead, it's just testing it with a few people, solving their problems for them and say, hey, did it help? And then getting that data from them of what I offered to you, what was the most helpful feature.
Speaker: And so if you want to go on that career path, there are so many ah there's so many opportunities to help people because people are good at generating revenue but not necessarily organizing themselves. Okay. All right. um so So for you to thrive in this position, like you've pointed out, you need to be very organized.
Speaker: Yeah. You need to be very organized. Yes. So so so how do you personally stay sharp? When it comes to strategy systems and leadership while you are juggling multiple clients.
Speaker: I read up a lot. I read up on operations. I read newsletters. I read blogs. I follow other operations, people on LinkedIn primarily.
Speaker: I read a lot of reports from consulting companies. I draw on my own experience from working. For me, the advantage was having almost two decades in this space before I went solo. So there's a lot of experience I can draw from.
Speaker: But I would say constantly learning and looking at, like I follow companies like McKinsey, big and like consulting and sort of how they organize for clients, PwC, Deloitte.
Speaker: KPMG, like the big, um, I feel like I'm forgetting one more, Ensign Young. And so I follow them and I just read a lot about their write-ups and the reports, those that are publicly available. I also learn from others who are more seasoned, who've been doing this for a while.
Speaker: And I read a lot, um, Even though they may not be books that are of about operations, I read a lot to just sort of understand different ways I can order, ah can apply value or give value to my clients.
Speaker: So i I'm currently reading Unreasonable Hospitality. It's about the hospitality industry and the restaurant industry, but there lessons that I'm extracting from that book for operations. like How do I make it very seamless for my clients? So...
Speaker: Abed also whispered to me that you are writing a book. So I want us to talk about that process and why a book at this time and all.
Speaker: So let's spend time talking about your book. I know it's still work in progress. So first of all, what's the title of the book and why a book at this time? Sure. Thank you. um The book is, the working title is Hope After Infertility.
Speaker: And it's based on my own life story. in And I've never been married. I don't have kids. In 20... Oh God, not the years. I blew it. In 2022, I decided to do IVF by myself and just sort of have a kid on my own. And so then I went through the process and it didn't work. My body just didn't take the drugs. And for where I am in my life and what I wanted, I i wasn't looking at adoption.
Speaker: I wasn't looking at surrogacy and I wasn't looking at fostering. And so it didn't work and sort of work got busy. Once IVF didn't work, i was like, okay, we'll pause and reset and see. And then about six months later, after I was told IVF didn't work because my body just, everything they said I was going to feel, I didn't feel anything because it just wasn't working.
Speaker: And so six months later, I started having really bad cycles. And I was on a work trip in Chicago, and I almost fainted in my hotel room. And that's when I knew I was in trouble. So I called my former doctor in Texas. i live in Florida.
Speaker: And I said, i need to come in. Because he had removed a problematic fibroid for me in 2019 and saved my life. like I almost passed out.
Speaker: And an ambulance had to come and get me. And so he did an emergency surgery then. And so I went to him and I said, something is really wrong. And sure enough, my fibroids were out of control.
Speaker: The, they had doubled in size and doubled in number, which is why I almost fainted. And I told him, I said, listen, then I tried IVF. yeah It didn't work. That's the only reason my uterus is still around.
Speaker: So let's go ahead and do a hysterectomy because I want my quality of life back. Um, I should, every month I felt so dizzy and i was like, I'm on a clock here.
Speaker: And so I had the surgery, but culturally it also formed the feedback that not necessarily people in my family, but outside of the family was like a death sentence.
Speaker: Like you've basically taken this into your own hands. Don't you believe in God? was yeah, I believe in God, but God also gave wisdom to the doctors. And I want to be alive like this. I can, i want a better quality of life because I didn't have a good quality of life.
Speaker: And so one of the things I did at the time I had a full-time job, I owned my story when I was going out for surgery. I didn't want people to be whispering, oh, did you know Christelle is going to have a hysterectomy? I didn't want any of that.
Speaker: So as was openly as I'm talking about it now, I was open back then in 2023. That summer, I said, I'm going out for two months. I'm going to have a hysterectomy. Through that work alone, I got a community of at least 20 women who had had hysterectomies.
Speaker: And they shared resources with me. And when I came out after surgery, people said, have you considered writing a book? Because you didn't let the surgery define you for the rest of your life.
Speaker: And so part of it is I had to be in therapy. So my insurance at the time wouldn't let you do IVF without signing up for therapy. They needed to make sure you were mentally sound.
Speaker: For the hysterectomy, same thing. You couldn't go through that surgery without the professional vetting that you're in the right frame of mind to take such drastic steps. So that translated into, at the time by the time I had my surgery, I had been in weekly therapy for a year, every Friday.
Speaker: One hour with my therapist. The hysterectomy did not define me. Yes, I was sad occasionally. But I worked with my therapist every week on it. So all people saw, which I didn't realize at the time, is, oh this lady had a hysterectomy. And all of sudden, she's not been about. She's not beat up. She's not feeling like her life is over. And so people kept saying, consider writing a book.
Speaker: And through that experience, too, I wanted to provide resources for people to have the language to use around people who are struggling with infertility. When i started, I targeted women. Like women are the ones are going to go through the infertility. But in posting about my book on LinkedIn and Facebook and Instagram, the most amazing thing happened. Men were the ones reaching out to me in my DMs about how helpful it was because they now had the vocabulary to talk to the women in their lives are going through infertility, whether it's their spouses, mothers, sisters, like they were all surrounded by women who it's,
Speaker: A bit of a taboo topic, unfortunately, and that's what I'm trying to change. Have it be more open. The same way there are women who are going through menopause who are openly talking about menopause. I want to do the same for infertility. So it's been an interesting journey.
Speaker: um The book will be out soon, working on the final touches. But yeah. Okay. So so how has this writing process been for you emotionally and practically?
Speaker: Emotionally, it's been fine. Actually a friend gave me ah journal When I was recovering from surgery, a blank notebook, I said journal. And I said, no, I do not journal because I watch Dateline.
Speaker: And every time someone passes away, they're reading the person's journal on TV. I want nothing to do with a journal. And she was like, oh, what do you care? You'll be dead anyway. was like, no, no, no. I do not want to write a journal. I do not journal. I would not journal. And she said, OK, how about this? Meet me in the middle. Because she had had a similar surgery, not a hysterectomy.
Speaker: But she said, write down words that remind you of series of events. events And so for me, that's what I'm using as the basis for my book. I pick up the journal she gave me and the words. And it was mostly funny things because I try to see the good in every situation. It's not always easy. So the process emotionally has been more just gratitude.
Speaker: The first month was rough. But that's because my body was resetting hormonally. So I was told I would go through really deep lows and really high. Like just every day i' would go through all these human emotions. So my doctor and my surgeon both told me that was going to happen. So when I was going through it, it wasn't the end of the world because they had given me a timeline. They're like, by month two, life will begin to be okay.
Speaker: So emotionally, by God's grace and with therapy, it's been fine. Now, actually, writing is a different story because I think in both English and French, and I learned to write in French before I moved to Ghana.
Speaker: So i'm I'm finding that I'm mixing conventions, like English and French conventions. Even though i'm writing in English, some sentences are direct translation from French, and some sentences are direct translations from English. i was like, Mrs. Akolache won't be very proud of the shenanigans that are going on here, but that's It's been fun. it's gives me a unique voice. So it's actually been something really interesting to just work on So you've talked about the book, why you wrote the book, why you're writing the book.
Speaker: But what message do you really hope that readers will take from this book? That life is what you make of it. When life hands you lemons, turn it into lemonade. Your darkest chapter doesn't have to define you for the rest of your life. And everyone has a different cross to bear. My cross is infertility. Like if you had asked me this in Motown, would be like, my goal is to get married by 27, have two kids, maybe a dog, a house with a white picket fence. That was the dream I had for my life. I am the opposite of all of those things. But
Speaker: I realized that my journey is different. My call was to give hope to people who have infertility, but I couldn't do that if I didn't go through it myself. So, and not, one of the messages I want people to get out of it is be careful who you surround yourself with.
Speaker: Negativity impacts you. Like we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. And My network rallied around me, both after failed IVF and a hysterectomy. And the on days, because I'm human, where i feel a bit down, they pick me up. They'll be oh, yeah, but think of all of these things that you've been able to achieve. And if you want a kid, come borrow one of us.
Speaker: Like, take our kids, borrow them. You can return them when you want. So they make light of certain things. or Like, you can still be an auntie. Like, it's not the end of the world. You can still adopt. You can still use a surrogate if you want to because I have my ovaries.
Speaker: But it's not the end of the world. It's just to be upbeat. Because if I hadn't had therapy and hadn't had didn't have prayer in my life, sort of,
Speaker: and I was showing up in life very down, very depressed, crying like two years in, like being very bitter, like or seeing a pregnant woman and instead of being happy for the person, being very angry, I wouldn't have half of the opportunities that have come to me post hysterectomy because people are amazed that I can still celebrate them as parents, even though i had the opposite experience.
Speaker: Alright, so building on something you talked about, about surrounding yourself with people who are positive, what mindset do you believe has contributed to your success?
Speaker: and I'd say examining all my interactions. If a conversation or a relationship doesn't go right, I'm responsible for 50% of the outcome.
Speaker: I always, I'm like, the other person owns the 50%, but that person didn't create whatever the problem is all by themselves. I contributed to it. So that's been the primary thing. And I learned that in therapy, it's like, don't take on the victim mentality that everybody did you wrong. And so when I first started going to therapy, it'll be like, well, this person was very selfish. They did X, Y, and Z, or they treated me badly. And therapy helped me to see that I had set the groundwork up for that. Like i wasn't good at establishing my boundaries.
Speaker: So people were just being people, living their lives. And they were essentially getting away with things that bothered me, but I had never verbalized that those things were bothering me. So my therapist was like, can you see how you contributed to the problem?
Speaker: You never told them it was wrong. So you're going decades of accepting that behavior and then you get upset. And then one day you blow up, but, and the person is completely surprised.
Speaker: So owning 50% of every relationship has been the mindset. I also, luckily, and now we're in our mid forties, Most of, I'll say, yeah, more than half of my close friends are in therapy.
Speaker: There is a beautiful relationship that happens when you the people around you are also working on themselves because your conversations are fuller and richer and there are fewer arguments.
Speaker: Even if it's an argument, you just agree to disagree, but there's no falling out. Or if there's a falling out, it's very rare. And so that's... but My friends being in therapy was a result of COVID and quarantine. like I'm so proud of them. The number of people who took themselves to therapy after we stayed home in 2020 and realized that they had things to work on was pretty amazing. So you've been this journey for quite some time and I can say you've been very successful at what you do.
Speaker: How do you define success now compared to when you first started your career? Is it the same or has changed? It's changed. When I first started my career, I was big on titles.
Speaker: I wanted to get promoted. I was working. I was like, I'll make VP. I'll make AVP. And I achieved all of those things. And then you get to a point in your forty s where you're like, there has to be more to life than this.
Speaker: Because you can get the titles, you can interview at different companies and get the titles. But am I living the life that I really, really enjoy? And so success for me versus when I started working in 2007, success for me is after each, and which is part of my personal mission statement, after and each interaction with people, do I leave them feeling better about themselves?
Speaker: So that's what success is. I mean, never hear the results, but I try to pour into as many people as I can because I realized until when I started therapy, how many damaging statements had been made over the course of my life that I internalized and believed.
Speaker: Without realizing that it was a reflection of the person's own shortcomings and had nothing to do with me. So I think the shift probably happened when I turned 40. So about five years ago, I was like, you know what? i am going to make sure that when I interact with people, I don't bring them down. I try to lift them up as much as I can.
Speaker: So they're not sitting on a therapist couch sometime in the future saying that statement that Christelle said, Christelle said I wasn't good enough at this or blah, blah, blah. impacted me and I internalized it. I don't want people to remember me with that negative light. So we're just about wrapping up, but building on what you just said, in what ways do you hope to leave a legacy through both your business and also your personal story?
Speaker: In my business, I want people to be present for their families. Because I think one therapist I had in New York a long time ago said, I can't remember all of them, but one of the number one things that people see on their deathbeds is they wish they had spent more time with family and friends. Not a single person on their dying bed has said, I wish I had worked more.
Speaker: And so that's giving people that time to be present because you only have one shot at your kids being young. And that's what they remember. And so giving people time to be present with loved ones. And I think that stands out to me because I'm in the U.S. with no family.
Speaker: So for the past 25 years, it's been like, your family is everything. you have to be present for them. And I live in another country altogether in a different time zone.
Speaker: For me, it's very important that people spend time with their families because when families are healthy, communities are healthy. You can't have families that are broken where people feel they don't have enough access to their parents and still have a healthy community. Those two things don't line up.
Speaker: And then through my book, it's just people to know that they too are resilient. Like people will say, oh, you're strong. Like you you're very courageous to be talking about these things. But I didn't start this journey thinking I'm going to be strong. When I was scheduling my hysterectomy, I wasn't trying to be strong. I was trying to address the problem. i was like, let's fix this problem.
Speaker: And so for people to be resilient, own their story and particularly women own their bodies and their decisions.
Speaker: ah So many people tried to give me decisions when I was doing IVF by myself or getting ready for the hysterectomy but my therapist was at the end of the day it's your body your choice. What are you happy with?
Speaker: When it will make you happy when you turn 90 and look back on this is it a decision that you made or you felt you were forced to make? And so that's what I hope women, especially young girls, for young girls in particular, is what i hope they get from my life story is if a doctor dismisses your pain, find a different one.
Speaker: So many doctors told me that it was normal to have two cycles a month. But I was anemic most of my life because of that. It wasn't until my surgeon in Texas was like, no, this is not normal. Your cycle is 14 days. It should be three days.
Speaker: But imagine what a better quality of life I would have had over the course of my Motown years, college and working, if I had a doctor who didn't just say, oh, all women have pain.
Speaker: And to speak up for themselves. No one will advocate for your health more than you will. And to get checkup. I get checkups every year and I still needed a hysterectomy. So imagine if I wasn't having checkups. So it's kind of like just own your health and don't postpone checkups.
Speaker: All right. So we are just about wrapping up. What advice would you give to someone currently working in corporate who is contemplating starting their own business? Find a mentor who's been an entrepreneur, a successful one.
Speaker: then... Test your idea because sometimes entrepreneurs, we we're notorious for falling in love with what we want to do, but you don't know if the market actually has a need for your services.
Speaker: So test your idea while you have a job with other people and see if it's actually a pain point because you have to be solving a pain point for people in order for them to buy into your services. They buy into you as a person, but they also need something in return. You've made their lives better.
Speaker: So find a successful entrepreneur who has been viable for a long time. It takes about three years for a business to be truly viable. The first three years of any business are like shaky.
Speaker: And so find someone who can, several people, because everyone has a different viewpoint as to what it takes to have a successful business and have a plan.
Speaker: Not just in your head, in writing. Give yourself dates. don't even know have it here. It's somewhere. So when I first started, I had a calendar for my go-live date. So I picked a date and then I worked backwards from that date. So it was a friend who taught me that. He was like, you can write down your plans. I want to do open a business someday.
Speaker: But if you don't hold yourself accountable to a date, it will never happen. So let's say picked July 31st. I would count backwards. from the day I picked July 31st as my lunch date, July 31st being day one of my lunch.
Speaker: So every day i would cross it out. I have 100 days to go. i have 99 days to go. And then you keep crossing it out every day. and it has to be, it was on my fridge. And for me, that was a game changer. Because especially when it got to single double digits and then single digits, I was like, oh I need to get my app together to get this business up and running.
Speaker: And so that was the most practical advice I got because I had for years, I had a list of things I wanted to do. But once I picked a date and worked towards it, And I know I keep saying this, but surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do.
Speaker: Not necessarily the same business, but even if you're working, socialize with other entrepreneurs or people who are building their businesses. Those conversations are different. like I find that when I'm hanging out around entrepreneurs, we're not talking about TV shows. We're not talking about school days. We're what's the problem we're fixing?
Speaker: Can you help me fix this? how can We exchange skills. So like i just I was on a call last week with one of my peers in a program who's extremely good at marketing, has about two decades of marketing experience. I have zero.
Speaker: And so we traded skills. He reviewed my marketing strategy and I reviewed like operation. Okay. So before I sign off, what will be your last words to my audience before we sign off?
Speaker: If you have a ah dream on your heart, pursue it. Don't let anybody talk you out of it because that vision was made available to you, to no one else. So people, I mean, don't quote me, but I don't know my Bible very well, but it's like Jesus wasn't accepted in his town when he started his ministry.
Speaker: Sometimes the people closest to you may not see what's been placed on your heart. And for me, my faith is a very important part of my life. So When you have the vision and you see it in your mind's eye, follow it.
Speaker: Just do it. Even if it's one action a day towards that, do it. And then it's because, let's say you want to do something, but you feel you're too old. Well, newsflash, in five years, you'll be older than you are today.
Speaker: So why not start today on that dream and work towards it? So thank you, Christelle, for sharing your rich experience with us today on the Entrepreneur Speaks podcast. We wish you the very best.
Speaker: Thank you. Thank you for having me. It's ah it's been a pleasure. All right. So this has been another exciting episode of the Entrepreneur Speaks podcast. I'll come your way next time with another inspiring episode.
Speaker: I remain your host, Kofi Animedu. As so always, do take good care of yourselves and let's continue to keep hope alive. Cheers. Please be sure to subscribe to the Entrepreneur Speaks podcast on all your favorite podcast channels and if you have any questions or feedback, feel free to reach out to us on social media or in the comments section below.
Speaker: Builders of tomorrow shining bright. From every land they find their beat. Yeah, it's the entrepreneur speaks.
