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One Woman, One Big Shift: How Italy Helped Her Redefine Success
21 Plays3 days ago
After checking every box society told her would lead to happiness, Ruhi Thakker realized something was missing. In this inspiring episode, Ruhi shares how a solo trip to Italy after a difficult divorce became the catalyst for personal healing and transformation. From burnout to breakthrough, Ruhi opens up about redefining success, learning to trust herself again, and finding peace in the slow, soul-nourishing rhythm of travel. If you're feeling stuck or craving clarity, this conversation is the nudge you didn’t know you needed.
Follow along with Ruhi's journey at: www.ruhiandco.com and on Instagram
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi and welcome to Go Far Girl. Thanks for joining us today. I'm so glad you're here because today's guest is going to prove that sometimes travel isn't about escape. It's about coming home to yourself.
00:00:11
Speaker
Ruhi is a leading brand marketing expert, speaker, and a sole-led entrepreneur who once had it all on paper. But something was missing. After leaving an unhealthy relationship, relocating across the country, and stepping into her 30s, she finally took a long-awaited solo trip to Italy. And that journey became more than just a vacation.
00:00:33
Speaker
It became a return to herself. Through travel, Ruhi can reconnected with her values, reset her nervous system, and began redefining success on her own terms.
00:00:44
Speaker
And now she's here to share her story to help other women embrace presence, healing, and purpose.
00:00:52
Speaker
So Ruhi, thank you so much for being here. I'm so excited to hear more about your story. Thank you for having me. and so excited to share my story. i actually was in Italy, had taken a daily journal with me. And so i was logging daily journal entries. And I totally forgot about this journal that I had until last night.
00:01:13
Speaker
And I pulled it out to kind of refresh myself on my trip and and just the experience. And I just, I thought it was really great timing to be able to do that. That's so awesome. so how long ago was your trip?
00:01:27
Speaker
My trip about exactly almost two years ago. i was there for my 30th birthday. Yeah. I love when things come around just at the right time. Like this is sort of near the anniversary of this big moment for you.
00:01:42
Speaker
And now we get to relive it real close to the time when it actually happens. So it's a good celebration to just hop on here and and talk about it. Yeah, absolutely. It's really funny because i actually, after my trip on my flight back, I had written a bit of a prologue at the beginning of this diary and knew I had wanted to revisit these words someday and pass them down. And I would love to actually quickly read the prologue too. It's very short.
00:02:10
Speaker
I would absolutely love to hear It's so fitting for this podcast, but it says, i hope to return to these words when I need them most. And one day pass them down to other women who are about to embark on a beautiful journey of transformation.
00:02:24
Speaker
So that if she's ever afraid to venture out on her own or take that chance on herself, she can remember that some risks are just worth taking. After all, we are only as brave as we let ourselves be.
00:02:36
Speaker
Oh my gosh, it's so beautiful. It's so perfect for this. It's so perfect. And it's perfect for everything of our life. That was beautiful. I love that so much.
00:02:50
Speaker
and Thank you for sharing that. I love that you were willing to share something that was definitely intimate at the time and that you had the forethought to write things down. Sometimes we think all of these great things, but we don't take the time to put them down. And then when you go to reflect later, it just doesn't have that same you know impact because you weren't in that moment. So I'm glad that you captured that. That was incredible.
00:03:14
Speaker
Absolutely. And I'm such a fan of writing things down in general, like especially when I travel. Yesterday, as I was reading through this diary again, i feel like I got to relive so many of the rich experiences I had this incredible trip. And I'm so excited to be able to dive into them today. Awesome.
00:03:33
Speaker
So take us back to right before the trip and you don't have to get into to all of the details, but were you living, you're in New York now. So were you living in New York at the time? Were you working in a full-time job? What sort of led up to this?
00:03:46
Speaker
I need a break. I'm going to Italy. Yeah. So I have always loved Italy, the culture, the language, the slow lifestyle there. I feel like something has kind of kept calling me back to Italy and,
00:04:01
Speaker
Prior to the solo trip, I had visited about 10 years before that with my parents and my family, and i knew I'd wanted to go back. And the trip had actually been pushed a couple of times.
00:04:13
Speaker
um At that time, i was, before I'd moved to New York, I was living in San Francisco. and was actually married and we had planned a trip together during, the and the trip was planned for September of 2020.
00:04:26
Speaker
Obviously COVID happened, the trip got canceled, but as I've come to realize many years later, like timing is really everything. and so I was really bummed when the trip had gotten canceled at that time, but I kind of kept Italy as ah my North star and spent a lot of time during COVID, you know, learning Italian, becoming really familiar with the different regions that I hadn't been exposed to in the past.
00:04:52
Speaker
And just trusting that it would happen when it's meant to happen. And about a year after September, 2020, I decided to leave that marriage. And Italy was kind of the one thing that kept me afloat. I had moved across the country by myself and started this new life for myself.
00:05:10
Speaker
I was working a full-time job. I was actually running PR and comms for a beauty conglomerate at the time. And it was moving 10 million miles an hour, doing the most.
00:05:21
Speaker
And I had continued to take these lessons. In fact, I had kind of increased my time with my tutor, just knowing that this trip was going to happen at a time um when it was supposed to be most important. And so for ahead of my 30th birthday, I decided to book the trip.
00:05:37
Speaker
And it honestly felt like such a personal milestone. And the trip felt so symbolic at that time. And I'm so glad that it waited until that time. Things sometimes just work out even when you can't see them in the moment.
00:05:52
Speaker
You know, that trip being canceled, like you said, made it so much more special when you were able to do it and to do it on your own. So you had been to Italy. When you were planning to go back, did you want to dive deeper in or did you kind of want to revisit some of the places you had already been?
00:06:11
Speaker
Did you go in, I guess, with a full itinerary plan or were you just wanting to get there and see what happened and where that took you? I am and ah am notorious for planning.
00:06:23
Speaker
I certainly had a plan going in And this is the beautiful thing about solo traveling, right? You aren't on anybody's agenda. Right. You really have time and space to do what it is that you love to do. And so my journey actually started in Rome.
00:06:37
Speaker
i love art history, went to a lot of the museums there, really got to see a lot of these paintings and sculptures that I've been reading about and learning about over the years but And then one day I actually took a trip up to Naples where of course I wanted to go and enjoy the pizza there and they're known for in terms of their pastry. So it was a very quick trip to Naples.
00:06:58
Speaker
Also very, such an easy country to travel around in. And I think there was something so beautiful about just being able to take the train anywhere I wanted to go. From there, I went on to visiting, I went on to visit Florence and i actually took a fresco class while I was there.
00:07:13
Speaker
to really be able to understand all that goes into the art of fresco. And then also learning about leather craftsmanship. I've always loved fashion so much. And i feel like Italy really allowed me to deepen my knowledge about leather, where it's sourced, how it's crafted.
00:07:32
Speaker
and then from there, I was there. Technically in October. So we're about to come up on two years. And that was during white truffle season. And I love truffles.
00:07:43
Speaker
They're delicious. And I actually got to go white truffle hunting with a local family there. That's amazing. love lot. It was the best food and wine throughout the entire country I had had.
00:07:56
Speaker
And there's something that continues to call me back to Alba. know I'll be back there at some point soon, but yeah, just learned about Rolo wine. I grew up not too far from Napa Valley. And so I've always had a love for wine and yeah it was really beautiful to be able to go and taste and experience and see how one of my favorite wines are really harvested and cultivated.
00:08:17
Speaker
And then from Alba, I went to lake called Lago de Horta. And this is really where i spent about five days, the longest kind of stretch of the trip and really entered, I'd say, state of deep reflection.
00:08:35
Speaker
and that was the part of the trip where I really feel like I did to come back, was able to come back home to myself and who I really am. And then, of course, you know, being a girl, I i had to shop a bit. So ended my trip in Milan, shopped, went to the theater and and then ended up coming back home. So it was overall a very diverse trip. But again, everything that I love so much.
00:09:00
Speaker
I love that. That's a great thing about Italy, though, is you really can have all of these different experiences within one country. And like you said, it's easy to get from place to place on the train. But you have this beautiful countryside with vineyards and and great organic foods. And then you've got these bustling cities and these historical areas. I mean, Italy is just really awesome for kind of that well-rounded trip. And you get a little bit of everything and not too much of anything. It's just amazing.
00:09:30
Speaker
It's so true. When you were at the lake, did you know at that time, like, okay, I feel myself kind of coming down and reflecting? Or is it when you look back on it that you were like, that was the point, that was my turning point?
00:09:47
Speaker
I think I realized that as soon as I got to the lake, you know, living in New York, it's such a fast city. And then being in PR, it's like an even faster experience in general. So being able, I remember when I stepped off of that train, you know, there were like no Americans.
00:10:05
Speaker
to be found. was a very quiet town. I'd say maybe i saw 20, 30 people at most every day. And it is, ah i intentionally picked ah a much smaller, lesser known lake in the Northern region of Italy because it also holds this quiet, almost sacred energy. So it was very intentional going in why I had chosen that lake.
00:10:25
Speaker
Have you heard about Lake Orta? No, I haven't. Okay, so it's, ah again, a very small lake situated in the northern part. And at the heart of the lake is this island called Julio.
00:10:40
Speaker
And it's a very peaceful island. And it has a centuries-old monastery. and when you get onto the island, take a very quick boat ride. There's almost this path known as the Way of Silence. And there are nuns who live there. And there are a lot of these scriptures kind of etched along the walls of the island. And they're very meditative messages.
00:11:01
Speaker
And it's a place that really does invite stillness and self-reflection. and so because of that, I had decided to kind of go and visit Lake Orta. And I remember visiting that island one day, the first day, and there was one message that I'd kind of written in my diary that really resonated with me.
00:11:20
Speaker
And it goes, going to read it to you. It says, every journey begins near to you. Walls are in the mind, open your being, accept yourself, grow, ripen.
00:11:31
Speaker
if you can be yourself, you are everything. and when you are aware, the journey is over. And I feel like this leg of the trip really brought me back to my ethos and gave me that sense of clarity that I hadn't felt in years.
00:11:45
Speaker
And really understanding that pure happiness comes from within, not from worldly possessions or material goods. And that other people aren't responsible for making you happy or who you are right? Like,
00:12:00
Speaker
you are in control and have the ability to make yourself be happy and to be everything that you need. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like an amazing place. I need to go do that walk for sure. i am writing that down because that sounds like a place that I need to be. It is just absolutely stunning. It's absolutely stunning. And I think there's also such a hominess to the lake. You know, it's very small. There's a very small community there.
00:12:28
Speaker
Very few restaurants. I think over my five days while I was there, i got to actually know and speak with the owners there. if That was the one part of my trip in Italy where I absolutely had to practice my language skills.
00:12:39
Speaker
Right. Exactly.
00:12:43
Speaker
exactly So it was really beautiful. And, you know there were certain days where not a lot of people are out on the town. You'd see one restaurant owner who had just closed his restaurant for the evening and he would be dining at someone else's. It's just such a supportive, loving community. And I think those are the values I've also been able to bring back to my community in my life here.
00:13:03
Speaker
That's incredible because you you hear about the big places. So you've got Lake Como and things like that up there. And so I love that you took the time to research somewhere a little more intimate and off the beaten path. And it really just was able to serve you at that time for what you need.
00:13:18
Speaker
Not that there's anything wrong with going to tourist place. They're that way for a reason. They're lovely. But when you find those little places where you can just feel that community and that that sense of self, that's incredible find.
00:13:32
Speaker
I love that. Yeah, absolutely. it's It's so beautiful to be able to put yourself in a situation that is so unfamiliar, a territory that is so new where you do have to navigate things because it also really allows you to come back to your own energy and and really navigate a new space based on your intuition.
00:13:56
Speaker
Yeah. And it's empowering. It always feels good after. Even when things go wrong when I'm solo traveling afterwards, I'm like, oh, I totally did that. That wasn't that big of a deal. That was okay. So I love that too. And i think that's important, especially after you've been through something or, and I won't speak for you, but I know when I was in an unhealthy relationship afterwards, there was that little period where I was kind of lost.
00:14:20
Speaker
And I thought, that like he held my strength almost for a little bit, you know? And so then when you go out and you accomplish these other things on your own, somewhere where you're not familiar with, then you're like, oh, wait, I can do this.
00:14:34
Speaker
I can do this. I've got it. And then everything else sort of just feels like it falls in line because you've accomplished something that's so out of your ordinary that you feel good. And i fully share that experience with you. i leading up to this trip, my nervous system had really been and fight or flight mode for so long, getting a divorce, moving across the country, having a high stress job. I was yeah absolutely scattered. You're just on all the time. Yeah, absolutely. And you do feel this sense of like, you know, somebody kind of holds this power over me. And I had an incredible kind of moment on my very first night in Rome. I think I landed in Rome around like five or 6 PM, went back to my hotel, showered, got ready for dinner.
00:15:21
Speaker
And I walked into this restaurant and I love solo dining. i do it all the time in New York, but let me tell you, doing it in another country was a bit uncomfortable at first.
00:15:32
Speaker
I was like, wow, everybody's here in really big groups. And then here I am sitting on this table alone. And I sat down, i ordered my pecorino wine, I ordered my pasta. And a couple of minutes later, this woman named Roberta approached me And she was there with a group of her girlfriends. And so she was speaking broken English. I was speaking broken Italian. And she was like, I felt your energy when you walked in come join us after your dinner if you have time. So it was beautiful. And I quickly ate my meal, ordered a second glass of wine and and joined them on their table. And one of the things she had said to me at that time really stuck with me. And we were talking about dating and they were also in their thirties. And she said in Italy,
00:16:16
Speaker
you approach someone, you share a glass of wine and follow up. And I was like, wow, maybe we're the ones who complicate everything. Like life can be so much more simple.
00:16:28
Speaker
And I almost felt this like immediate weight lifted off my shoulders. And that's really, I think what set the tone for that trip ahead. Isn't that something? And she had no idea.
00:16:40
Speaker
the profound effect that she was having on you at that time, or just that simple gesture of, Hey, come join us, which is another thing I love about solo travel. She wouldn't have done that if you were there with other people, but it's you so got that experience because you were willing to just do it by yourself and not just Uber eats and sit in your hotel.
00:17:00
Speaker
Yeah. Absolutely. and you know, as I was going through this journal yesterday, I realized I've actually i met so many incredible people on this trip. And we're still connected on Instagram. We still follow each other. We still cheer each other on I'd say there are probably like six or seven different people that I met on that trip who I'm still in contact with today.
00:17:20
Speaker
but you meet people from all walks of life. And I think it almost like restored my belief in humanity and connection. And it also reminded me that, you know, some of the best people I'm going to ever know, like haven't even entered my life yet. And others, like they're just meant to be passing chapters. And I think that level of clarity just brought me so much peace.
00:17:43
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, I love that too. Yeah. That's so, so true. ah All the good things. So I want to talk about nervous system because that's something that rings true to me too. And I know a lot of people have gone through this.
00:17:56
Speaker
I think that sometimes we don't know that we're running on adrenaline and that we have let our body become so accustomed to running at that high level that we don't know that we're being unhealthy all the time. We don't know why we're not sleeping. We don't know why we're gaining weight or breaking out or just not healthy.
00:18:18
Speaker
Because think sometimes it happens so slowly to us that it just becomes normal. And it's not until you have that chance be down and realize that from the other side, like, oh my gosh. I mean i think looking back, my nervous system was dysregulated for 15 years and it's exhausting.
00:18:40
Speaker
And I can look back and I know how much life I missed because I was just in survival mode instead of enjoyment mode. So do you, were you able to recognize that at the time or was it once you were kind of settled i when looking back?
00:19:01
Speaker
I think the moment i came back from this trip, i especially after Lake Warta, I realized how unsettled my nervous system was. And as with anything that's good for you in life, right? Going to the gym,
00:19:16
Speaker
eating healthy food, making conscious food choices. I've found that it's so incredibly important in my day-to-day to block off a Saturday, block off a Sunday, see nobody, start my day with a meditation, a walk in Central Park, sit down and journal my thoughts, just doing things that allow me to kind of sink back into these deeply reflective periods because You're right. I think when we are living our day-to-day lives, we are all running a hundred miles an hour, but it's so easy for, you know, 10 to become 20 to become a hundred without actually taking that pause. so
00:19:54
Speaker
yeah So New York is as a city and as fast as my life seemingly has to be to operate on the day-to-day, i have actually found since I've come back from Italy, I have slowed down significantly And i talk a lot about like, you know, morning routines, your wake up routine. I really do see the body as you have to warm it up in the morning and wind it down in the evening. And so I no longer can operate where I wake up and I'm just like, go, go, go, you know, going into an office at 8am doing all those things. Because if you take care of your body, if you your body takes care of your mind. And i think that's where you can create, that's when you can create the most. And I think
00:20:37
Speaker
So much about being a human being is about creation and what you can really bring out into the world. i think that's one thing that other countries really have gotten right where somehow the U.S. has gone off on this other path.
00:20:52
Speaker
But I think that other countries... you know, whether it's, it's Mexico or, or Italy, or when I was in Slovenia, I noticed the same thing. People really do have a different pace.
00:21:04
Speaker
And I always laugh. There's this meme that goes around sometimes and It's so true. And it'll be like, okay, a worker in France will, you'll email them and their thing will bounce back. Hey, I'm out of the office for six weeks.
00:21:16
Speaker
Email me back in August and I'll i'll get to you. Whereas in America, we're like, Hey, I had surgery this morning, but if you just email me or FaceTime me, I can get back to you in about an hour. Like don't put all of this whole thing where we've just gotten so intense.
00:21:31
Speaker
that we forget. And I've had to start, I realized that I was rolling over in the morning, grabbing my phone and checking my email before I even sat up out of bed because I didn't want to miss something or I didn't want to like let the ball drop on something.
00:21:48
Speaker
And that's crazy. And then I would be sending an email or or looking up something else right before bed too. And so i really had to just make a conscious effort to be for a few minutes and not just roll right over and like jump in into that day. So I love that you brought that up because when you were talking about slowing down, that's one of the things I thought of that – it But I really have to work at it.
00:22:15
Speaker
It's something I really have to like focus and remind myself. And I've gotten to where I put my phone like in the other room when I go to sleep so that i don't wake up and reach for it. I get up first. I open the curtains. i you know do all these things before I even touch my phone.
00:22:31
Speaker
Otherwise, it's just this instinct to go for it. It's so true. And I fully relate to that. I mean, when I was in my corporate role before starting my own business, I...
00:22:42
Speaker
in four years, this was the first time I had taken two weeks off. Yeah. Yeah. First time I'd taken time off and that sounds absolutely crazy, but it is so important to take those periods to yourself, whether you're practicing it on a day to day, or if you're, you know, taking some time, it's actually been really interesting navigating this with my own business because,
00:23:05
Speaker
I am quite literally always on, but I have been able to find almost this balance of, and can check my phone first thing in the morning, but that doesn't mean that I have to, you know, go fully into it. Respond right that second. Yeah.
00:23:20
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And I also have a policy if I like to be on my computer before my clients are up, before my team is awake, I'm always the first one on always the last one off. yeah But that means I've had to adjust my sleep schedule. I wake up earlier.
00:23:35
Speaker
you know, I do bake that extra hour in the morning where I can meditate, where I can make my matcha in peace. Because I think starting the day off very peacefully is really what sets the tone for the day ahead. And in the evening, it's, you know, I might be wrapping up work emails and all of that, but it's dimming the lights. It's lighting a candle. It's listening to jazz. It's really allowing, again, your central nervous system to really come down from the day.
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah. And I think you mentioned you just mentioned jazz, which brought me to something else that I had just spoken with someone else about when I was traveling. And that's whatever you're exposing your body to, it's internalizing, right? So if you are binge watching true crime and then listening to, I don't know, gangster rap before you go to bed or whatever, even if you enjoy those things, your body's internalizing that energy as well, right? So by lighting a candle and listening to jazz or just taking a moment to sit on the back patio and just be for a minute.
00:24:31
Speaker
It's letting your body kind of expel all of that energy that it's taken in during the day and kind of allowing you to refresh rather than it just compounding every single second that you're awake.
00:24:43
Speaker
Absolutely. So you're you're owning your own business now and you've talked about it a little bit. So once you came back, did you immediately decide that you know, this corporate world isn't for me, I want something different and I'm going to just make that change right now? Or was that also a longer process?
00:25:06
Speaker
I had kind of decided on my flight home. And, you know, I had always wanted to start my own PR agency. i since the first day at my first job, i remember sitting on my desk having lunch. i always tell the story.
00:25:20
Speaker
My first day at my first ever job in PR, was sitting at my desk as an assistant, having my lunch and looking around the room. And I asked myself who I wanted to be most like. And I was like, I want to be like the partners.
00:25:33
Speaker
They are doing such incredible work. They are these three badass women who are absolutely crushing it. They live by their values, by their ethos. And, you know, at that time I was, it was a tech agency. So operating in a very different industry than I do today And so i had kind of set that goal and had been working toward it and coming back from Italy, really, it really felt like now is the time to do that And that's also where I think the definition of success for me had changed from before that trip to what I see success as now.
00:26:07
Speaker
Yeah. That's, yeah, I love that. I love that. And do you still think back on your trip to Italy as that defining moment to where you were able to, like, I guess because what I'm thinking is I define my life into chapters almost. So like there's a before and there's an after and then there's present day, right? So it seems to me like that moment for you really started the minute you got to Italy and kind of just one thing led to another to give you this life now where you are truly back home in yourself.
00:26:46
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. i mean, before I think success to me meant like recognition. I was like always chasing the next promotion, the next big win, the next iconic brand to work with. Like I've been really lucky in my career to be able to work with mega brands like Google Homes Nest, Google Pixel, Ariana Grande's Rem Beauty. And For a long time, that external validation felt like the goal.
00:27:10
Speaker
And on that trip, I realized success can be quieter. It can be far more rooted. And really I've started to define success as being able to create a more peaceful world, beginning with the peace I carry within myself, the way I felt on that trip, I was so at peace.
00:27:29
Speaker
And that's the type of peace I've carried with me ever since. And that's the type of peace I want to bring into the world. And so today with what I'm doing, that looks like representing brands that are here for a real purpose and changing the world for the better. Right. So I work with like a clean independent, it's a clean indie hair brand.
00:27:51
Speaker
They're built. there' Their core mission is to protect the Amazon rainforest and support the indigenous communities who live there. I also represent this renowned spiritual leader who guides people back to conscious living and inner wholeness.
00:28:04
Speaker
a women's wellness brand that's challenging the dated approach to women's health by really offering a solution that works better for our bodies. And so it's really about identifying brands and voices that are allowing people to be able to get closer to that piece, that level of consciousness within their day-to-day operations.
00:28:25
Speaker
But by doing that also, aside from you getting their message out and helping them and they're helping everyone else, you're helping yourself because you're surrounding yourself with people who are on the same kind of mission or or vibration as you.
00:28:41
Speaker
You're surrounding yourself with people who are inspiring you to do more and to be more. And you see that vision in them. And I think you can really feed off of that kind of energy as well.
00:28:52
Speaker
And then people feel that from you. And then that just kind of creates this great trickle effect, you know? So i think that's so important having someone like you who is willing to really just surround their whole being with this positivity and this sense.
00:29:10
Speaker
And then it just naturally radiates off of you and other people can pick up on that and start their own movement, whether it's within themselves or their community as well. Love that. It is so true. And that's one thing actually that I've, I've definitely felt a lot of, it does go hand in hand, right? I feed off of like what the agency gets me in and vice versa. And even beyond my day-to-day work, I think one other shift that I've seen in my life since coming back from Italy is my, the circle of friends I surround myself with have changed significantly. The circle has gotten much smaller, yeah but
00:29:46
Speaker
every single person in that circle is also on that same journey, you know, growing toward a more peaceful life. And so i am so proud of being able to get here, but it took so much to get here. Right. And I think that's the message i would love to share with women who are coming out of painful chapters is like, you really do control your life.
00:30:07
Speaker
You are so much more powerful than you think. And, but you have to go through the motions. It takes time. Like nothing will be, Nothing will be done overnight, right? i got a divorce when I was right before my 28th birthday.
00:30:21
Speaker
And here I am on you know, next Monday about to turn 32. And so it took four whole years to get here. And God knows how much more growth what the journey ahead looks like, but I'm just so excited about it.
00:30:34
Speaker
But you can't skip the hard part. And I think that that's what I tried to do was just like, okay, that's over. I'm done with it. And I just tried to like ignore how I felt and all the trauma that I had within me and all of these things. And was just like, okay, I'm moving on.
00:30:47
Speaker
But you can't move on because it comes back to haunt you. You have to do the work. You have to take the time to really sit with it and to really think about it and to really feel it And then work through that. You can't just put it in a little box and and walk away. And the next day you're like, great, everything's great. Life's great. you know I think that that is something that you've proven with the way you just said. It's been you know it's been four years. It's an everyday thing. I'm still continuing.
00:31:16
Speaker
But I think that's something I learned the hard way. I just wanted to not talk about it, not feel it, not remember it. And I just put it away. And I was in survival mode continually because I didn't realize that. And then once I raised three boys by myself, once they were all out of the house and I made that last tuition payment for college,
00:31:38
Speaker
Everything came back to me tenfold because i was it was still there. i just hadn't had time to deal with I hadn't taken the energy to deal with it. But now all of a sudden I had time. The boys didn't need me.
00:31:49
Speaker
I wasn't in the same position financially. And all of a sudden I had this time where thought, man, why is this coming back right now? And it came back worse than I left it. And so it was even harder to go back and deal with it. so I love that you were able to take that time right away and be aware enough within yourself to realize you needed to do something different. And just piggybacking off your message, that's my message to other people is you got to face it and you got to do the work, whatever that looks like, whether it's a solo trip or a group trip or just a quiet walk every single day before bed or, you know, sitting outside with your wine and journaling.
00:32:32
Speaker
You have to go through it. It's so true. And I think the first time it's the hardest, the second time it's easier. The third time it, you know, it's, it's as with everything in life, it comes with practice. And the reality is part of living and being a human being is we will always have challenges that come our way, right across different realms and different areas of our life. And I think if you can, can be brave enough to step up to the plate and really face it for the first time,
00:33:04
Speaker
I promise you it gets easier and easier and easier every time. Yep, it does. i didn't I didn't talk about it for 15 years. And once you start to talk about it, once it's out loud and once you can recognize it and see it, it's not as scary either. And I think you can kind of name it and and face it rather than just kind of running from it.
00:33:23
Speaker
So I think that is just something that I've learned, like I said, the hard way. And so it's good to... to see that my moment, my Italy moment, like yours, i was in the UK and I went to this abbey that had been in ruins and it was just the most beautiful, peaceful place.
00:33:44
Speaker
And I don't know what sparked it, but I turned the corner and I saw this, the ruins of this abbey and I just came unglued. I was sobbing so hard. No one had said anything. No, it was just this feeling. For some reason, I just had this peaceful, overwhelming feeling.
00:34:03
Speaker
And I just cried the whole time through there. And it was that kind of moment. And I thought, oh, I need to take care of my life. I need to, you know, face this. But it doesn't always have to be something you plan.
00:34:16
Speaker
But when I look back at that moment, at that Abbey, I look back at pictures And I can still feel that peaceful moment. And so that's all I was thinking about when you were talking about the lake is I know what you're saying. I've had that spiritual awakening.
00:34:32
Speaker
just kind of comes out of nowhere. And that's, it's so beautiful. And I loved, loved hearing every piece of that because I could almost feel, you know, that, that weight lifted off of your shoulders at that time and just being able to feel so free.
00:34:48
Speaker
And it was it was sweet. I wasn't solo on that trip. I was with it with a girlfriend, Coralie, and she lives in in the UK. And so she had been to this abbey many times. And she looked over and she saw me crying and she just took a couple steps back.
00:35:01
Speaker
And then five or six minutes later, she came over, she put her arm around me and she said, it's beautiful, isn't it? And I said, yes. She said, yeah, take your time. And so she got it.
00:35:11
Speaker
And so even though I wasn't by myself, she could see that I needed that time. And she... I just, yeah, I'm so grateful to her for letting me have it and not rushing over to be like, oh my gosh, are you okay?
00:35:23
Speaker
Are you okay? You know, what do you need? She was really just aware as well and and let me have that time. And i will never forget that that huge turning point for me.
00:35:34
Speaker
But what's next for you? So you're you're on this great path now. you have more travel plans? Are you just all in your business right now?
00:35:45
Speaker
What's going on with you? Yeah. so the business is absolutely at the forefront for me. I'm so excited to build this out because I feel like for the first time, I'm really building something that is so close to my heart and it is the means in which I think I am, you know, fulfilling my purpose. And so that really does fuel me.
00:36:05
Speaker
That said, I have had a number of travels this year. so I was in Japan earlier. And to your point, I really loved being there because I could really experience the slow living, the slow lifestyle that that the country really embraces.
00:36:19
Speaker
And so I do hope to go back to Japan one day and spend more time there. Where else have I gone? The Philippines. I was there for earlier this year as well. I actually i visited Sedona back in June. So early last month, which was just absolutely beautiful. I had another one of those awakening moments that kind of sunk me deeper into all of the the foundational pieces that Italy had kind of set.
00:36:42
Speaker
And yeah, i'm I'm going much later this year to India, actually. Amazing. For on behalf of my client that I was mentioning the spiritual leader.
00:36:53
Speaker
And, you know, it's i'll be near the Himalayas. So I feel like there is something there waiting for me. Absolutely. and Yeah. And I think, you know, the one thing that I that keeps coming to mind is I really do think it is human nature to carry questions about life and what's next.
00:37:15
Speaker
And I think a lot of people are constantly asked, we, you should be asking yourselves those questions, but I also really believe that like the answers already live within us. And it really does take like leaning into your intuition and trusting where it leads.
00:37:29
Speaker
And I think again, if something is calling you, it's likely because there's something there waiting for you. and I think life has taught me that it is truly a search for puzzle pieces. And sometimes we have to really step away from where we are to be able to find the ones that we've been missing. And so I do feel like that trip in October is going to have another piece waiting there for me. And I'm i'm just so excited to go see it and experience it. And Probably cry a lot on that trip too.
00:37:58
Speaker
But that's amazing. And you're able to be open to that experience rather than trying to dictate it yourself. I think that's one place where we kind of get ourselves into trouble is trying to have all the answers and trying to figure them out and overanalyzing every single thing instead of just being quiet and letting it be.
00:38:16
Speaker
And the fact that you know already you're anticipating this this experience, you're going to go into it so open you're It's just going to be transformative. I already know, like you already know, because you're open to that and you're going to find that that experience and that message and be able to incorporate it into your life. I'm so excited to hear about it. When you get back, you have got to email me and tell me what happened because...
00:38:43
Speaker
Yes, I will. Absolutely. You will be the first to know. Yeah, I'm into it. We'll have to do a follow up. Yes. Oh, my gosh. Totally. Because I'm like, like goose bumpy. I'm like, oh, my gosh, it's gonna be so awesome.
00:38:56
Speaker
Thank you. Yeah, I'm very excited about it. And yeah, i will absolutely keep you posted. Yeah. Who knows? Again, like we might have to do a part two of this. I'm here for it. I'm so here for it.
00:39:08
Speaker
In a wrap up, let's encourage someone else. If a woman is listening, they're on the edge of a big decision. They're feeling a little lost within themselves. What's that one thing you want her to know about taking the leap?
00:39:21
Speaker
Pass that forward. I think, yeah, I think in life we're constantly taking risks. We're taking chances. And I think the best bet you could ever make is but but the you make on yourself.
00:39:41
Speaker
Scary, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. love that It is really scary. But again, I think it's the first time you take that chance on yourself is the scariest. And then you realize that it's you, yourself and I in this life.
00:39:57
Speaker
Yeah. And it's so rewarding to know that you hold all the power and all the keys. You're in charge of your own happiness and your own your own destiny. yeah I love that. Thank you so much for hanging out and sharing with us today. I'm so, I'm just, I feel so good after talking to you. I can, we don't have our cameras You're in the heat of the day of New York city. Things are hectic.
00:40:23
Speaker
I have a fever. I feel like garbage, but here we are like staring at a b blank screen, just having this connection to where I feel like, so good inside. And I feel so peaceful and so inspired. And I just really want to thank you for hanging out with me and, and sharing your experiences and passing that on to everyone else.
00:40:46
Speaker
Absolutely. Thank you for having me on. i was honored to be on and I hope that, you know, whoever is listening to this feels inspired to finally book that next trip that they've been thinking. about Yeah.
00:40:57
Speaker
So can people keep in touch with you? Can we follow along? Do you have social media? do you have a website? Where can we hang out? Yeah, I, my Instagram is the best place. I'm always checking it for work. And so it's just at Ruhi Tucker. It's my name.
00:41:11
Speaker
huh And I will, so yeah, and I'll put the link in the description too. So people can find it just by a little clicky there. So that'll be good. Yes, that would be great. And, you know, my DMs are always open if anybody has any questions, like whether it's about Italy, whether it's about solo travel, I'm always happy to chat and share. So would be very happy to connect with anybody.
00:41:33
Speaker
Love that so much. Thank you for hanging out today and we'll talk to you soon. Thank you. right.