Transcript
CHANTELLE KINCY: Hello there. Thank you for joining us on Go Far Girl. Today's guest is Amrita Rose. She's an award-winning author, public speaker, and a certified holistic life and career coach. At 60 years old, she sold nearly everything she owned to set out on a bold solo journey and rediscover herself after facing burnout.
CHANTELLE KINCY: She's no stranger to transformation, having navigated multiple career shifts, living across three countries, and she's written a self-help book that encourages people to ditch the status quo and embrace the life of meaning.
CHANTELLE KINCY: In today's episode, she's going to share the raw truth of what it means to start over, the unexpected lessons she's learned, and how travel helped her tap into courage she didn't even know she had.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So Amrita, thank you for joining us. I'm so excited to chat with you today.
Amrita Rose: Oh, Chantal, it's so good to be here. I'm so excited.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, I just as I'm reading through your your bio, I'm like, dang, she's done this. Yeah, she's done this. She's done this. I'm like checking all the boxes. You're so awesome. That's incredible.
Amrita Rose: Well, you know, what I often tell people is it's also about being older. So, you know, it's hard when, know, I've had time to check the boxes and I've had time to have overlapping careers that, you know, kind of
CHANTELLE KINCY: You've had time to check the boxes.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: dovetail into each other or longer ongoing ones like teaching meditation and yoga for many decades. So something stopped, something start.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love that. But you've, but you've still taken the initiative to start something new because a lot of people can get trapped in the rut of just, this is what I do.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: This is who I am. And then they look back, they're like well, that's all I ever did. But you've just kind of been continually, you know, moving that bar forward and adapting as life goes. And I love that.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. I think too, for me, I'm always wanting to learn something new. So I think that's been a big impetus for change.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: and um And also ah things, you know, as things end, like I've rarely, i don't think I've ever really thought of who I am is what I do.
Amrita Rose: It's always just been what I do is what I do and who I am is someone but bigger than that. So I think that's also, that's helped.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, I love that.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, that's a good way to look at it. So tell me about, let's go way back to where you started realizing I'm burnout.
Amrita Rose: yeah
CHANTELLE KINCY: This isn't working for me. What were you doing?
Amrita Rose: Oh yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And then what kind of led to that, that moment where you were like, no, this is not for me anymore.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. So I had, so I had just, it was about five years ago. i had just moved to Colorado to work as a consulting coach along with my own business for a British company.
Amrita Rose: And, i didn't know anything about Colorado at all, except to have big mountains. so I thought, terrific. I love mountains and I love hiking. And i landed ah in late February of 2020, which will ring a lot of bells with people right now.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, familiar story coming.
Amrita Rose: um to ye ah Gave one presentation with the CEO, and that was the night that the announcements were, we don't know what this is, but we don't think people should gather in groups. And then ah he flew back to the CEO, flew back to London. Two days later was the London shutdown.
Amrita Rose: and the whole thing went, Like, okay, that's disappeared. We can't do this right now.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh my goodness.
Amrita Rose: And so I was in this state that I didn't know and didn't know anyone.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And I had moved cross country from, I was living in North Carolina. So I'd sold my house in North Carolina, was renting a place in Colorado.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh my.
Amrita Rose: And I went, hmm, wonder how this is going to go. And then it was the it was the lockdown. So, you know, everything was closed. So people kept saying, oh, well, drive to this town or drive to that town.
Amrita Rose: And I thought, well, all I'm going to see is the buildings because no one's really walking around, right? You know we could, in Boulder, we were a little luckier that we we were encouraged to be outside.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Right.
Amrita Rose: But still, ah people were very, you know, like, I'm not going to get close to you. I'm not going to talk to you if I don't know you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure, so you weren't gonna meet a community of people.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: You were still on your own regardless, yeah.
Amrita Rose: No. pretty Pretty much. I did meet a very intrepid group of coffee drinkers who we all gathered around this outdoor fire pit at 6.37 in the morning, most weekdays.
Amrita Rose: And there were a group of about eight people. So for the first year in Colorado, ah we were all standing outside, no matter how cold it was, drinking coffee and chatting.
CHANTELLE KINCY: you needed that connection, yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. um And that was really interesting. And it was a great way to meet people that I never ever would have imagined I would be doing. um But what really the impetus for the burnout and for the for me getting basically ditching everything I own pretty much and leaving the US was or temporarily leaving was um that after, you know, as things started to come back online, my coaching business wasn't doing as well as it had been.
Amrita Rose: And nobody could figure out why. I worked with a couple of great business coaches, literally did everything they said. um And none of us could figure out, like, well, what's this about? Like, it was great for 15 years.
Amrita Rose: um You know, and now I'm doing even more, like, trying to get the word out trying to do more marketing and PR, and it's still not coming back. And I realized that I was really disinterested in dealing with individuals. And i that was where I was like, oh, right, I'm burnt out.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: This is not working. um And over the time of COVID, I had written ah a self-help book, which i I don't even like calling it a self-help book because I hate self-help books. It's basically, um it's really a book of knowledge and ah wisdom from an elder, because 60 years old, I figure I can call myself an elder.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love that.
Amrita Rose: um And it's kind of funny, but it's very practical.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: So it's a practical, like, here's some things that might be helpful to know in life.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: um So that was where the book came out of. And then, yeah, so at the end of four years, my lease, ah my my rental, I had never found a place ah in Colorado that I wanted to buy.
Amrita Rose: my couldn't get my business back going, and I was really feeling burnt out. And I thought, okay, My lease is ending. i don't know that I want to renew it. I'm going to take a year and I'm going to travel and see what opens up, see who i meet, what adventures I can have.
Amrita Rose: um i had saved up enough money to do this because I had sold my house when I moved. And I thought, okay, I just need to create space. And that is both exciting and terrifying.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure. From the outside, you can see it. You're like, yes, that's exactly what you need because you can reset and you're just opening yourself up to whatever possibilities. But when it's you, you're like, okay, this is a huge decision that can either like backfire or be amazing.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So, I mean, did you have kind of those conflicting moments where you're like, yes, I'm doing this. And then, Ooh, maybe I should not do this. Like, Was it a struggle or were you all in?
Amrita Rose: What i um I was all in it, so I was all in from like, okay, I'm going to sell all this stuff. And it was very interesting, the process of ah literally selling 95% of everything I own, except for those tax documents we all have to keep for seven years and my two bicycles.
CHANTELLE KINCY: carry around for you.
Amrita Rose: Right. and, But I thought, you know, the it was interesting because the more things I saw had a bunch of huge yard sales and the more things I sold, the more things I thought, oh, I don't need this.
Amrita Rose: I was looking around going, why have I kept this? Like, I don't really need this. i don't need that.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Interesting. Sure.
Amrita Rose: you know And so that ah that part was really easy. When it really hit me that, oh, this is going to be really challenging was um I spent three months in Italy. i was going to, took Italian lessons because I wanted to be able to have actual conversations while I was there.
CHANTELLE KINCY: sure
Amrita Rose: um And when it hit me was about two months in and I realized, oh, I have no idea what's going to be next.
Amrita Rose: And that for me is very uncomfortable. Like I've always, I've always kind of had an idea.
CHANTELLE KINCY: okay You're a planner.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. Not, maybe not specific, but I've always had like, oh, I'm going to teach this class or I'm going to go here.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: I'm going to land here. This is going to lead to x Y, or Z.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure. You've at least had a direction.
Amrita Rose: And it
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah, or a vague notion. And in this case, you know, I'm sitting in this in this flat in Florence and i'm in Italian class four hours a day and I'm doing my homework and I'm wandering around meeting, trying to meet people.
Amrita Rose: And I thought, oh my gosh, I have no idea what I'm doing after this. I don't know where I'm going to live because I have to leave the EU um after 90 days.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And my business, haven't like i haven't I haven't found the people to network in Florence with.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And this is this that was when it was like, ah oh my gosh, what am I going to do?
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: um And then I met and then i thought, okay, I'm going to do what I always have done in the past, even when I'm super, super terrified. I just sat every day and wrote and just wrote, um I mean, we can call it, you know, free writing or top of mind or just whatever comes out on the page.
Amrita Rose: And I just wrote and let whatever was in my brain, ah just put it out on the page so that I didn't have to carry it around. So that was one thing that really helped. And then the other thing was that I literally said out loud every morning, ah stood on this terrace space that I had and I said out loud, okay, I need ah the next place I'm going to live to show up and I need it to show up in two weeks because i have to make plans.
Amrita Rose: And so i i just stood in the middle of this terrace every morning.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh my gosh.
Amrita Rose: I'm sure the Italian people around me were like, what is that crazy person doing?
CHANTELLE KINCY: I'm just manifesting my life.
Amrita Rose: um but
CHANTELLE KINCY: Leave me alone.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. And I'm not, you know, I'm not a follower of um like all of the manifestation things, but I thought, okay, my business, the one thing I recognized was my business tanked at the same time that my energy for it tanked.
Amrita Rose: So there's a correlation, whatever, however we want to experience that or however we want to explain it.
CHANTELLE KINCY: sure
Amrita Rose: So i thought, okay, I'm gonna put this out, like I want this a place, the next place has to show up and I need a clear direction and it has to be very straightforward because that's, I'm very straightforward and practical.
Amrita Rose: And so within two days, ah the woman who I had become friends with in my Italian class, who's British, ah said, hey, where are you going next? I said, I have no clue.
Amrita Rose: She's like, I think you should come to the UK. I think you'd quite like it. And I thought, well, I've never been. And then she found a place for me to live for six months and help me sort it out.
Amrita Rose: So within three days of me starting this practice, it showed up.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh my gosh. You had a plan. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. And I thought, okay, this is really wild. um So, so off I went ah to the UK to live in Norfolk, which is the East dryer side out of the UK and just a very gray tip for listeners.
Amrita Rose: do not, unless you love gray weather and rain, do not go to England in December through February, I'd say. um It's beautiful in the spring. So, yeah, so I got there.
CHANTELLE KINCY: But you have to get through the hard part.
Amrita Rose: Oh my gosh. It was, I mean, I had a cute little cottage that had been renovated, but I was out in the middle of nowhere and I didn't have a car for the first two months.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, my gosh.
Amrita Rose: So as walking two miles to the supermarket. um And there was a train to the nearest so city, which was Norwich, which is a beautiful city. I highly recommend it Very underrated.
Amrita Rose: um But it was really, it was a real challenge and it was gray and it was rainy ah for days on end. So and there was a lot of time for introspection and a lot of time for freaking out and going, what have I done with my life?
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah yeah yeah
Amrita Rose: Like, what am I doing? There's, you know, I'm in a market town of like a thousand people and they're mostly older and they're mostly a little suspicious of newcomers.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: um And they couldn't quite figure out why I was always wandering around town with a backpack. ah because I was getting groceries every day. ah But I met a couple great people and i did the same thing. About two months in, I thought, okay, if this is how it's continuing, I can't stay.
Amrita Rose: I have to leave. So I literally, again, this time I did it inside the cottage because it was horrible outside. So every morning I would sit down in front of the wood stove and I'd say, OK, I need a car to show up.
Amrita Rose: I need a car to show up because I had looked and nobody wanted to give me insurance because I was an American and got very complicated.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, yeah.
Amrita Rose: And I said, OK, I just need a ah usable car to show up so I can explore and I can meet people and I can go you know to Cambridge, to London, wherever. Again, within three three or four days, the people who own the wine and cheese shop in town loaned me their daughter's learner car, which was like 15 years old, and just put me on their insurance.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: So it was like 120 pounds yeah for four months.
CHANTELLE KINCY: What? my gosh.
Amrita Rose: So I had a learner car, beater, stick shift, left-hand drive, learner car for four months.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: It was great. um I got to do a lot of, you know, exploring around. and And the woman who had originally helped me find this place, she and I had been doing like a hike every couple of weeks so um on the weekend. So that was great. So I had that.
Amrita Rose: But now I had a car and I was like, oh, this is this is great.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah. Freedom.
Amrita Rose: And so it was really, you know, that like there were, it it all it all went like there were the really, really low spots. And then in those places,
Amrita Rose: there's a there are a couple people I've listened to over the years who they all are kind of saying the same thing, which is when you're in those low spots, those are the times that you get to regroup and consolidate your energy so that you have enough energy to move up.
Amrita Rose: i And so in those really low spots when I was like, what have I done with my life? Like I took, I really remembered those, that wisdom and sat and literally just sat and like, okay, I'm a big proponent of whenever my brain is going too much or I'm or i'm like, what have I done?
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: or I just feel really heavy. I'll just write everything out. And that way it's like, okay, it's not in my brain. It's in my journal. It's messy. Who cares? And that way I don't have to carry it around in my head.
Amrita Rose: And it stops a lot of the like, okay, what am I doing? Why have I done this? I've blown up my life.
CHANTELLE KINCY: The spiral. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And so then I would just sit or walk because I'm a big fan of walking meditations. I would just sit or walk, find a, you know, not super rainy path.
Amrita Rose: And I would just walk and
CHANTELLE KINCY: Thank you.
Amrita Rose: ah And invite, that's the best word, is invite in the answers. And not like I'm thinking about this really hard, I'm going to solve this. It was more like I would walk and I would notice the hedgerows or the or the beautiful raindrops on the fields or a bird or a rabbit or something.
Amrita Rose: I would just notice what was around me. And I trusted that what I needed to know would come. And...
Amrita Rose: you know, might come in fits and starts, which it did, but at the end of every walk.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Mm-hmm.
Amrita Rose: So I did this pretty much every day, unless it was pouring, pouring rain. Um, and then, I started to get a better sense of like, oh, this, okay, so this is what I can do with this downtime.
Amrita Rose: So I took a couple of online classes that I was interested in. and did a writing course in Norwich, which was fantastic, highly recommend. Met a couple really cool people in that class.
Amrita Rose: um Also, I think my writing got better. And, and slowly, you know, that all those things kind of built up and I realized, oh, now I have a lot more energy, lot more interested in exploring these areas or these things.
Amrita Rose: um And so the, it was like the, that down part had allowed me the time and space to the everything that was making me feel heavy that I was worried about or thinking about and to create some space to invite in. Okay, let me invite in.
Amrita Rose: Well, what's going to show up next? Does that make sense?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. No, I think it's really beautiful too, because as someone who, for me, I'm in my head a lot and I struggle a lot with that just constant round and round and round. And it's usually about 2 AM where I'm just like, oh my gosh, make it stop.
CHANTELLE KINCY: um
Amrita Rose: Mm hmm.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And so just your ability to be able to kind of put it out there and then quiet it down enough to actually hear what you're needing, I think is is beautiful.
CHANTELLE KINCY: um I struggle with that and I do. So as I'm listening to you, I'm like, gosh, I i love that you're able to do that. And I want to work more on that. and I usually tell my dogs instead of writing things down, I'll sit and just like, you know, dump everything to the dogs.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And they kind of look at me like, wow, are you okay? Because this is a lot right now. We've earned a treat after this.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. But yeah, i I do think that getting it out helps.
Amrita Rose: ye
CHANTELLE KINCY: So I love the idea of writing it down and kind of just purging yourself that way. um And then, like you said, just inviting that space to be there.
Amrita Rose: yeah
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love the way you said that. And that inspires me to try to quiet my mind a little bit more. I think I'm always trying to trying to work it out instead of stopping and letting it work out.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I'm trying to solve all the problems, you know, in one second.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And so...
Amrita Rose: Yeah. but And I think that's a very human thing. um
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah. yeah.
Amrita Rose: Two of the practices that I've found are really helpful for myself, but I also, they're also the two of the ones I give my clients all the time. are keep a notebook or or just a blank pad of paper near your bed.
Amrita Rose: And if you wake up in the middle of the night, and most times you don't even need to turn the light on, just write out whatever is in your head and know that, okay, I've written it, I can look at it in the morning.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: and then go back to sleep often that will help um because your brain is saying i'm trying to solve this now and then it's saying oh it's the middle of the night i have to remember this if i go to sleep i'll forget it i have to remember this so if you write it down um and it doesn't again you don't have to turn the light on because most of us can write well enough that we see it in the morning right so you write it out and then your brain goes okay oh it's written down ah now i can go back to sleep because i can let it go
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yes.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure. to Yeah.
Amrita Rose: um So that's one of the benefits of doing that in the middle of the night. um I'm also a huge fan of the, ah you know walk, like if you're walking somewhere in a park or a path or something, and you just like, like you say it to your dogs, which is great.
Amrita Rose: Just say it out loud just to get it out.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: um The extra benefit to writing it out is that your brain thinks, oh, now I don't have to think about this because I know there's a record of it. So it's an extra little gift to your brain that will help you let go of that, like that repetitive thinking, that spiral thinking.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: So those, those are two tricks.
CHANTELLE KINCY: That's, I love that.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Very good.
Amrita Rose: Those are two tricks.
CHANTELLE KINCY: That's a that's weight worth its weighted gold, that advice.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I'm so excited to like go get my notepad. So yeah, no, life is super messy.
Amrita Rose: Yep. And again, it can be super messy.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So that just goes. But I think it is true that once you have written it, you don't have to think about it because you can always go back to it.
Amrita Rose: Yes.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So if if that triggers something in your brain to to let it go, even for just a couple of minutes to get that piece, I just love that so much.
Amrita Rose: Yeah. Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So how...
Amrita Rose: And that's neuroscience. So, cause I'm kind of a science geek.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, no, that's amazing.
Amrita Rose: So that's a neuroscience.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And it's stuff that, ah as I say, like average people don't think about because we don't know the ins and outs of all of that. And you pick up just little tricks along the way, you know, little, little tiny things, but, um,
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, because I feel like even when I meditate, and this is going to get us off track, but that's just how my brain is. But even when I meditate, I really struggle with that quietness.
Amrita Rose: No, go for it.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I feel like I have to really focus like on my breathing or counting or something. I don't haven't gotten to the point in a practice where I can be completely silent inside myself.
Amrita Rose: Okay, so can I give you a tip?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Please do.
Amrita Rose: you You don't have to be completely silent or still when you meditate, ever.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay. Ooh, okay.
Amrita Rose: And you don't have to follow your breath or you and you don't have to count. So if you if you think, there are a lot of forms of meditation and I've been teaching several specific forms for about 30 years.
Amrita Rose: So here's what I've learned.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay.
Amrita Rose: If you think of meditation and as focusing one thing, on one sing That's it. So you can pick a different thing every time you meditate and know that it will change over the course of the meditation. And i always tell people just start with a four minute meditation.
Amrita Rose: So let's say i sat down today and I'm like, okay, it's the very first time I've ever meditated in my life. I'm going to simply notice the qualities of my breath whatever they are.
Amrita Rose: So as I sit, maybe close my eyes.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Mm-hmm.
Amrita Rose: It makes it a little easier if you close your eyes. And I'm setting an alarm for four minutes because that's all I'm going to do, four minutes. And then I'm just going to sit and I'm going to notice. I'm going to name like, oh, my inhale is warmer than my exhale.
Amrita Rose: My exhale is shorter than my in inhale. Huh. I just noticed that my inhale got longer or I just noticed. So as you're breathing changes, you you notice it and you can say it in your own head or you can say it out loud, doesn't matter.
Amrita Rose: And if you find your foot falling asleep, because they do, you can move, right?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Mm-hmm. his
Amrita Rose: And so the the question you can kind of pop in occasionally is, can I be more comfortable without lying down? Because if you lie down, you tend to fall asleep.
CHANTELLE KINCY: hu
Amrita Rose: And just know that that is meditating. And as you do that, you know, that maybe the next day you think, oh, going to notice how my feet feel on the ground for four minutes.
Amrita Rose: Or I'm going to notice my heart beat. It gets really cool if you start to do your heartbeat one, because you start to get to be able to feel what quadrant your heart is beating in.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, wow.
Amrita Rose: Yeah, and it comes pretty quickly if you do it.
CHANTELLE KINCY: that
Amrita Rose: But again, meditation, if you think about meditation as, okay, it doesn't have to be still, doesn't have to be silent, doesn't have to be long. i only have to pick one thing for four minutes and do my best to keep focusing on that one thing And make it, let it be interesting in the beginning, right? Not just inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, right? It's like, oh, all the qualities of breath or all the qualities of my heartbeat or all the qualities of my fingers.
Amrita Rose: And then it will occur naturally that your body and your brain go, oh, oh, we're getting benefit from this. Let's see if we can, we're just going to narrow the focus and know that as your mind drifts off during those four minutes, because it always does, mine does too, just bring it back gently and go, okay, what's the next quality?
Amrita Rose: What's the next quality? And that will also, some days it'll go like bing, bing, bing. And other days it'll be like, uh okay and then it comes back right and then i dress off a little and then it comes back and i mean yeah oh completely
CHANTELLE KINCY: Well, that makes me happy to know it's normal because I was thinking, girl, get it together.
Amrita Rose: yeah
CHANTELLE KINCY: Like, come on.
Amrita Rose: pictures of people sitting on a beautiful beach serenely in you know this pose that we all associate with meditation that doesn't have to happen to meditate at all yeah you're you're actually meditating probably perfectly
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love this. Okay, fantastic.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay, good. Because I'm always like, I cannot be quiet inside here. I'm just like, what is happening?
Amrita Rose: And it's like tying our shoes, right? We if we had learned how to sit quietly for one or two minutes as kindergartners, be a lot easier.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah No, for sure.
Amrita Rose: Trying to learn it after 20 is like, oh, it's a whole new skill. right
CHANTELLE KINCY: i love that. I'll give myself more grace then.
Amrita Rose: Thank you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So you're, you're in the UK and then what did you continue to start working on your business at that point?
Amrita Rose: Excellent.
Amrita Rose: Yes.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Did you kind of feel rejuvenated to come it back or did you want to go a different direction at that point?
Amrita Rose: I, so then at that point, so I had done a few online courses because I thought, oh, I could add to what I already know my skillset. And i i started to get an inkling of what I wanted to do, but I still wasn't really meeting anyone. And I wasn't very clear on exactly what, but I kept coming back to like, i I did a lot of writing about, okay, what makes me, basically I was telling myself all the things I tell my clients, like what makes you passionate?
CHANTELLE KINCY: you
Amrita Rose: Are you excited about what is not working for you in your current career? And what was really coming up for me was i had been working almost almost entirely for the last couple years with individuals rather than groups.
Amrita Rose: I hadn't been doing live events and live workshops as I had been in North Carolina. And I missed the group dynamics, the energy of groups, workshops, and I missed the energy of um teaching because there is an aspect to a lot of the work I do in workshops and retreats that's teaching.
Amrita Rose: And so i was like, okay, i need I need to add these things back and I need to do less of the individual over the phone remote stuff. And so at the end of six months, I ended up back in the U.S.,
Amrita Rose: And that was when it became much clearer, like, oh, this is the direction I want. And then I kept thinking, well, i really i really suck at marketing. I'm terrible at it horrible at it.
Amrita Rose: And I hate it. Probably why I'm terrible at
CHANTELLE KINCY: I was going to say that that's the key right there. Yeah. Some people love it.
Amrita Rose: yeah Well, and I've tried.
CHANTELLE KINCY: and
Amrita Rose: i mean, I've really tried.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: I cannot write copy to save my life. I can write books. I can write lectures.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Great. Can't write copy. um and But it became very clear. was like, okay, I'm back here. um I really want to start creating what I had created in the past, mostly in North Carolina, which was with live workshops every week and that energy of people, right? Everyone's very excited.
Amrita Rose: And so i i actually contacted a friend of mine in North Carolina who's a fantastic marketer and I'd known him eight years um and he's a brilliant writer. And I said, look, I think I need to hire you.
Amrita Rose: He's also really good because he's known me and he knows what I do. um And he was like, okay, so tell me the thing you're the best at. And i was like, no one has ever asked me that.
Amrita Rose: They're all like, okay, tell me about your coaching business. You know, like, how do you introduce, and we all say the same thing, right? It's like,
CHANTELLE KINCY: Right.
Amrita Rose: I help X do this without this. It's really boring and very general and nobody knows what you're doing.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure. Of course. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And he said, no, no, no. He said, I want to know what's the part of coaching or what's the thing that you're really good at that you love doing. And I said, well, you've known me eight years. I'm very precise with language.
Amrita Rose: And I love when people learn that how to communicate better. And because that changes everything when they understand how they're communicating, not only with other people, but how they're communicating with their selves.
Amrita Rose: and So like we we all do this. I think every human does this at some point. You do something and you're like, oh God, that was stupid. was like, okay, I just yelled at myself. right And if I do that enough, then cop an attitude.
Amrita Rose: And if I cop an attitude with myself, I'm gonna show up with that with other people too. So it's that kind of awareness of how am I showing up in the world? How am I showing up for myself? But it all comes down to what are the words I'm using for myself? What are the words I'm now using for other people?
Amrita Rose: How are they reacting? Right. And he said, great, that's what we're going to do. We're going to create, that's what we're going to focus on. And so i am in the process of refocusing and rebuilding my entire coaching business after 17 years.
Amrita Rose: And I'm so excited about it. I can't tell you. um
CHANTELLE KINCY: That's, yeah.
Amrita Rose: I didn't think I would be. I thought I'd be like, okay, this is going to be okay. But now I'm like, oh, now I really get to focus on the communication piece, which for me is, that's the heart of it. That's my passion.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Isn't that funny? I mean, it's not funny, haha, but you just, you find that one thing and The fact that no one had ever asked you that or you hadn't taken the time to think about it.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I remember even back when I was in college, well, I had two boys when I went back to college and one, i think we were in sociology.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I don't even remember actually, but the professor said, what do you do that makes you happy? and
Amrita Rose: Mm-hmm.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I thought, and he said, but just for you, because I was like, oh, you know, work with the kids or do this. And he's like, no, no, no. What do you do that makes you happy? And I cried because I didn't know.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And it was just the easiest question, but it was the hardest question. And it's been what, I don't know, 25 years. I think about him and that question all the time, because you just get on with your life and you don't think about those very basic needs that fill you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: you know,
Amrita Rose: Yeah. Nobody ever asks us that.
CHANTELLE KINCY: No. And you don't ask yourself either because you're just busy doing the things and you think I've got this coaching business.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: It's what I do. This is, it's going great. But then you look at yourself you're like actually, is it going great? Or, you know, am I just going through the motions every day?
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: so
Amrita Rose: Yeah. And I think too, we're, we're really well trained, but it especially in the U S we're really well trained that, okay, you, you find a career path and you follow it and that's what you do and you don't question it.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And, ah coaching for me is career four. So I started as a university professor teaching photography and then went into the photo industry and then into tech.
Amrita Rose: And then I've been teaching yoga and meditation for 30 years and then became a coach. And so i had some practice in changing, um but I think it's still that piece of, oh, I've been coaching and it takes a while.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: I mean, for me, it took a while to get hit over the head with the, yeah, I haven't, like I've been doing this close to 20 years and i I'm hitting that point of this, and something needs to change.
Amrita Rose: Like I've grown 20 years. So why would I imagine that I ought to be doing exactly the same thing in exactly the same way or similarly than when I started?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And I think that's the thing we we need to remind ourselves of. Like, it's okay to change even within a job or a career.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Sure. You're not the same person you were when you were 18. Thank goodness. Right. And then, or even 30.
Amrita Rose: Yes. Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, that's, I love that.
Amrita Rose: Mm-hmm.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And I think that, I think that what you're, where you're getting it so right, that's just inspiring me this whole time we're talking is allowing that to be okay within yourself and just really being able to reflect in yourself and and seeing that potential to move forward.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I think that's just beautiful. I just, you're, you're inspiring me.
Amrita Rose: Thank you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love, I love just listening to you talk. I could do this for hours. This is.
Amrita Rose: ah Well, no, I mean, it's great talking to you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: um You know, you just sparked something with what you said.
CHANTELLE KINCY: but
Amrita Rose: you know, i think about all the art museums I go to. And I look at, you know, especially when when we can go and look at ah one artist's retrospective, like they'll have a solo show of, you know, this is early work and this is a later work.
Amrita Rose: And you look and almost no great artist, I don't think any great artist has ever made the same work for 40 years. right So if we if we look at our lives like this is the art we're creating, then why would we expect it not to change?
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah yeah yeah
Amrita Rose: Why wouldn't it develop and grow and go through blue periods like Picasso's blue period or exuberant periods like Manet or periods where it's very simple?
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: It becomes, you know, like you look at Monet's water lilies and they're so intricate and there's so much paint and they're huge, And then later on, there was this play with cut paper that were pieces that were so simple and very limited colors.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: And if our lives are our artwork, then of course, of course we need to change them.
CHANTELLE KINCY: That's amazing. Yeah. And you wonder, yeah, you could get deep with that because then you could wonder what they were going through and like what caused those changes too. That's so interesting.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So you're back now. You're in, are you in Colorado? Are you in North Carolina?
Amrita Rose: I am.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay. Colorado.
Amrita Rose: No, i'm in I'm in Colorado until the end of August.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay. Okay.
Amrita Rose: And then I'm heading back to Florence, Italy for three months.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay.
Amrita Rose: And I'm not sure where I'm going after that. But I'm i'm hoping, ah what I'm really hoping to find this time, because i now the business kind of the part is solved.
Amrita Rose: um And so what I'm now looking for and inviting in is a place that feels like a permanent home.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Okay.
Amrita Rose: And I'm not sure where that is, and but I'm sure if I keep standing on a balcony somewhere saying, okay, this is what I need to have show up.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yes.
Amrita Rose: um It's been interesting because this time around, because I'm much more comfortable, I know the city of Florence much better. um i think there's more opportunity for me to meet people and also to explore more from that point. It's a great city if nobody if you haven't been and you love traveling.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, it's beautiful.
Amrita Rose: um It's a great city to base yourself in because it's small enough to feel safe and comfortable. But the train system, you can get pretty much anywhere you want. um
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: So highly recommend that. um But i'm I'm feeling like, okay, I've got the work thing down to like, it's in process and I feel so excited about it. So now let me put out the, okay, I'm looking for a permanent home and starting to define what that looks like.
Amrita Rose: Like for me, it always has to have mountains and hiking trails and nice people. So yeah, so that will help.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah. How's your Italian?
Amrita Rose: It's okay. it's ah It's good enough that I had a conversation with these four Italian guys at the top of ah at the end of a hike the other day. um
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah,
Amrita Rose: they were yeah these i heard Italian behind me and I didn't think I just turned around and said, buongiorno, ciao. And then they're like, we didn't expect anyone to speak Italian here.
CHANTELLE KINCY: that's so brave. I love that.
Amrita Rose: And they're here, there are four young guys who are here for a new tech startup. So we had a myth five minute conversation, which I'm sure I made a hundred errors, but, um but it was okay.
Amrita Rose: I did, you know, and I, and I keep,
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah that's so brave i love that
Amrita Rose: ah Well, yeah, my theory, I mean, I realized that I'm super goofy. I truly am. And I will be as goofy as I need to in order to either learn something new or to impart something to people.
Amrita Rose: So like when I was teaching, i was probably one of the goofiest professors most of my undergraduates ever saw.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: But I was like, I don't care. i just want you all to be as excited about this as I am. So yeah, that's my general.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. And that's infectious. I think when you're not scared to embarrass yourself, so to say, or you just really you know are into it, I think other people can let their guard down then and and feel more comfortable to embrace who they are as well.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah, I think there's a lot of power.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So,
Amrita Rose: Oh, sorry.
CHANTELLE KINCY: No, go ahead. No, no, no.
Amrita Rose: i
CHANTELLE KINCY: Go tell Sammy power.
Amrita Rose: ah I was, um I was gonna say, I think, i think there's a lot of power in saying, I don't know, let's find out together.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah. So you really give yourself that chance to see what happens. I mean, rather than trying to have all the answers right there.
Amrita Rose: Yeah.
CHANTELLE KINCY: What would you say to a woman who feels stuck or is scared to make a change? that what would What advice would you give her when she's feeling that way that you felt?
Amrita Rose: um
Amrita Rose: um The first thing I would say is take three exhales and know that the inhales will come. And it sounds really simple.
Amrita Rose: But when when we do that, um I'm going to give two two parts of this because it's if you try it now, Notice, like, as you exhale, you trust that your inhale is going to happen.
Amrita Rose: You don't have to think about it. And so you do that three times and it kind of sets the stage through your body, through an experience of, okay, I'm letting go and the thing I need shows up.
Amrita Rose: And three exhales is is just about as much time as it needs to start to trigger the parasympathetic nervous system, which is the system in your body that calms everything down. So you start with that and then your brain goes, okay, now I'm a little calmer.
Amrita Rose: And then im I'm a huge fan of writing everything down because then I can look at and go, oh, wait, where where'd that idea come from? So i would say start by simply writing whatever form, bullet point, poetry, illustrations, doesn't matter, long narratives, whatever works for you.
Amrita Rose: But I would say take the three exhales. Important that they're exhales because they release. And then sit down and just jot down all the things that are really annoying you about whatever, whether it's relationship or life or career or all of it.
Amrita Rose: just Just write until you pretty much have nothing more to say about it for the moment. And then take a bit of time, maybe go get something cool to drink or warm if it's a winter day.
Amrita Rose: And then take a fresh piece of paper and write down the things that really do excite you. And I'm using that word really particularly because it's hard when we're in that feeling of burnout or frustration or like, oh my God, my life sucks. Everything sucks. Nothing's working.
Amrita Rose: i can't, I can't, I can't, right? We all get into that. It's hard in those moments if somebody says, what are you passionate about? I'm like, please don't ask me that right now. I can't get to passion, but I can get to what makes me smile?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Bye.
Amrita Rose: What makes me feel a little lighter? And just start writing those and know that, you know, leave the pad out or leave your journal out and just and write them down as they come. Right. So you might get 10 at one time and then you might be like, I can't think of anything else.
Amrita Rose: So go do the rest of your life for a little while and then come back and be like, oh, yeah, right. I thought of this like. walking to the farm market in Longmont, Colorado on a Saturday morning and getting a cup of coffee from this one, this totally cute couple. I love them. They're so sweet and they wear glitter and they have the best coffee.
Amrita Rose: Like that makes me really happy, right?
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: So I would write that down. and And then when you've got about as many things make that make you feel lighter or smile or even happy, right?
Amrita Rose: Then look at both lists again. And notice, okay, so the things that aren't working for you, what can you change? Even just a little bit.
Amrita Rose: Write down that. Because that's the next step forward. And then as you go, like as you're noticing, oh, right, I have a bit of control over ah how early I leave for work.
Amrita Rose: You might not have control over what time you have to get to work, but you have control over how early you leave. And sometimes leaving earlier gives you a little breathing space. Or I have control over um the fact that I drink five cups of coffee.
Amrita Rose: Maybe i want to cut down to four. right Simple things like that, they may feel really small, but when you start to notice them and track them, you'll also start to notice the changes that are happening And the more the the real reason a lot of this works is that as we notice what we are changing, we notice how much control we actually have.
Amrita Rose: When we feel like we have more control of our own life, we take more action towards what we actually want. And so that's my that would be what I would suggest, because that's a place to start.
Amrita Rose: And then if you know you get stuck, you can always call me, because that's what I help with.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah, I love that.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love that so much. So I'm going to, in the description for the show here, link to your book and to your sites. Go ahead and tell people where, first of all, the name of your books. We didn't talk about that all the way through.
Amrita Rose: That's true.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Let's talk about um what your book is and where they can find it.
Amrita Rose: That's okay.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And then where people can follow along with you and reach out if they need to.
Amrita Rose: Okay.
Amrita Rose: Okay. So the book is called No Plaid Suits, How Not to Have a Boring Normal Life. And you can find it at Amazon, booksellers.com, probably several other local bookstores if you're around the Boulder, Colorado area.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Love it.
Amrita Rose: um but it's easy to get online. And yes, it comes in ebook form, both for the UK and for the US. um And it's it's really a practical guide to things that will be helpful to know in life. For instance, ah how to do the kind of practice that I i mentioned earlier. Like there are a lot of there are a lot of resources in the back of the book um and there's definitely a sense of humor to it. So it's not gonna be a dry, like, here's what you need to do.
Amrita Rose: um If you've heard me talk about this, like for the last five minutes, you'll get, I do have a sense of humor. um And then my website is anunstoppablelife.com, which is pretty much how I feel about how life should be.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yes.
Amrita Rose: And ah you can go there, you can book a free chat with me. I'm always happy to talk to people. If you are curious about coaching, if you have no idea, if you want to work with a coach, book a chat and we'll just have a conversation.
Amrita Rose: And it doesn't cost anything. I guarantee I'm no pressure because um I hate being pressured, so I don't pressure people. um So it's an unstoppable life.com. There's a ton of free meditations and a lot of blog posts that are really helpful on there. So feel free to dig around there.
Amrita Rose: And yeah, that's pretty much where people can find me. Oh, I'm on Insta. I'm on Facebook. um And there's a bit of a blank spot on the Insta for this last year because I've been traveling, but I'm going to start posting again.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah Yeah.
Amrita Rose: So please follow me.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And I love it when people
CHANTELLE KINCY: You got to post some Florence stuff. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Yeah, I know. I know. um Well, this time now I'm now I'm in a better now.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: I'm like, oh, now I know what I want to talk about again, because I didn't honestly I didn't want to post when I didn't feel like I know what I'm talking about or do I know what I care about.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: Right.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: So, um yeah, so follow the Insta is the same and Unstoppable Life.
CHANTELLE KINCY: yeah
Amrita Rose: So is the. so is the Facebook page. And yeah, and if you have questions or you're just curious, please reach out. ah Shoot me an email from the website or book a chat.
CHANTELLE KINCY: I love it so much. I can't wait to follow along and learn more from you. I'm definitely going go grab that book here as soon as we are done um because I just love the title. And now that after talking to you, i am obsessed.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So I've got to go check this out.
CHANTELLE KINCY: So I really appreciate
Amrita Rose: I loved your questions.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, thanks.
Amrita Rose: Oh, sorry. i just
CHANTELLE KINCY: No, I just really appreciate you taking the time to chat with us.
Amrita Rose: but
CHANTELLE KINCY: um You know, it was funny because my husband today, he said, you know, don't even really know what you do on your podcast because I know it's not for me to, you know, goes, you just like talk to a bunch of different people that you don't even know.
CHANTELLE KINCY: And I said, yeah, I do. he said, well, always just come out in such a happy mood. And I said, yeah, because I've somehow found these wonderful women from all over who have a totally unique life and a totally unique take that And they all just have something that hits me in a different way that I'm like, yes. And it makes you feel so like not weird, so connected and so inspired to like just add a little bit of everybody's life to yours to totally change your whole trajectory. And I just I love it so much. So I really appreciate
CHANTELLE KINCY: do love this project and I love the people that I've been able to connect with. And it's just, it's so fun for me. So thank you so much for hanging out with me and sharing and being so open.
Amrita Rose: um out happy to. i you know, I also, i I'm in agreement, like, I feel like we really do learn from hearing other people's experiences.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And, and knowing that, oh, yeah, right, I have, I've had something like that, or I've felt something like that.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Yeah. Yeah.
Amrita Rose: And that's inspiring. But also your questions. I mean, there are a lot of things you asked me today that really got me to think about something in a different way. And so I really appreciate that as well, because that kind of communication is really important for humans.
Amrita Rose: So thank you.
CHANTELLE KINCY: Oh, that makes me so happy. little symbiotic relationship.
CHANTELLE KINCY: All right. Well, everyone go give Amarita a follow and I will talk to you guys next week. And thank you so much. All right.
