Transcript
Speaker: thing I thought, listen, you know, our first our first go at this was so smooth. what It'll happen the same way again. It just wasn't. When a surrogate carries a sibling for the same family, it's easy to assume the second journey will be easier.
Speaker: After all, you already know each other and you already know what to expect. Today I'm joined by Erica, a surrogate who shares what it's like to experience two very different journeys with the same family and why the same family doesn't always mean the same journey.
Speaker: Erica, let's just start at the beginning. What even first led you to having surrogacy on your radar? um So I didn't even know it was a thing like that. It blew my mind when I first found out about it. And I have a very dear friend. We've, but we've been friends for an eternity and she, she was also through the same surrogate agency as, as me. And she, um,
Speaker: she was the one to first be a surrogate. And, you know, I just thought that was amazing. She ah she kind of gave me the idea, it just kind of planted that seed, right? And at the time I wasn't a mother, but I just thought, how cool is that, right? And then I had my first child and it was great, but I knew in my heart that I wanted, there was another two, there was a second baby for me. There just was, I knew it, I was ready. We had baby number two. And then I thought,
Speaker: I it just kind of circled back in my brain when I was pregnant with my second. And I just thought, you know, how cool is that? i know the love of a child, right? I've got two of my own. i i love them so much, but I could not imagine not having the chance to do that, you know, and and and knowing how much love I have in my heart to give. And I thought, you know, how cool would it be, right? Like science is so cool that you can carry and grow someone else's baby. Mind blown. It's amazing.
Speaker: And I just thought, you know, why not? Like, let's let's let's see what we can do. and I thought, if if God wants me to carry a baby for another family, he will he will open those doors. he will He will give me that path. and And it did. And that's how I, what led me to be a surrogate was, you know,
Speaker: a calling deep inside that said, Hey, you need to have some more babies. Oh, but not, but don't keep them. do Yeah. Don't keep them. Don't keep them. No, it was more, you know, you you, in my heart, I knew I wanted to help and I wanted to, um, just be,
Speaker: be Be somebody to help another mom. You know, ah their moms are moms even before they're a mom. and And, you know, they have so much love to give. And why not let's teamwork and and and have this baby together. And and it did. It it was beautiful. and it And it worked out exactly the way it was supposed to.
Speaker: m Mm, that's beautiful. And I love this so much that it was your friend Ashley doing something. And then it was like, I mean, you you lived life. And then the fact that it just was like this little seed that was planted. Always in there. Yeah, exactly. yeah It was.
Speaker: It was. my gosh, that's amazing. What did your husband think when you were like, hey, by the way, I'd love to do this again, but not with you. So my husband, God love him. He is so...
Speaker: your body, your choice. He just is. He, and he's that way for every woman is, you know, you know, he there's never been a moment where he was like, I don't know about that. or that's weird. Or, you know, he, he was happy and he, he knows that, you know, genetically this baby's not ours. There's no way, you know, we we have so much, we, okay. I will say this.
Speaker: Our second child was our, the period to the end of our sentence. He was a lot of, ah So in my husband's heart too, was never a, oh, I might want another baby. Are you sure you want this? was, you do you, babe. Whatever you want to do, you do it. Curtain call on this. Yes. You go. You're good, girlfriend. Do your thing.
Speaker: I love it. I love it yeah So as you were, you know, you made the choice, which is amazing. And then as you were going through the matching process and waiting for those doors to open, what made you feel like when you did end up coming across your intended parents that you matched with, how did you know that they were right for you?
Speaker: So i initially, it it it was difficult for me because I am not in Texas. I am in Tennessee. So I am, you know, a lot of ah intended parents have very, they want, they want, you know, they have credentials. They want, and that is, that is perfectly fine. But I just kind of fell outside of that realm. So my match, the matches I was given were not as many as I've heard a lot of other people have had. I had three matches.
Speaker: And so it was easier for me to have three um because then I didn't have, you know, this huge bowl to to to pull in on it and narrow down when you just want to help everybody. um But my intent of hearing is their profile. It just exuded. we just want to be mom and dad so bad. and And not that anyone else's didn't, but there was just something so special about how...
Speaker: You could just you just i just felt the warmth. I felt the love. I could feel the the the want and the desire to be to be parents. And and for me and and also they they're, um you know, as a surrogate, you can say, you know, I don't want any connection at all with the intended parents. after. I want to do this. I want to move about my business. And I didn't so much want that. I don't want to be a huge part in, you know, the baby's life and, and all for all these things, but I, I would love, i wanted updates. I wanted to see them growing and they wanted that too with their surrogate, you know, so that kind of just, we just kind of matched and thankfully it, gosh, the first, the first,
Speaker: with their first baby, it just went so smooth. It was so smooth. It just, bam, bam, bam. Everything fell in line. Perfect. Yes. Okay. Which is wild that you would say it's so smooth because you matched in 2020. So like the world is chaos.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. Yes. I mean, yeah. Yeah. yeah It just was so I feel like the stars just aligned and it was so the way everything just worked out. It was so perfect. I mean, I i couldn't, you know, it was my very first experience. I've had two since then with the same family. So we did have sibling and and. um The first time, it was just, I can't say, we didn't struggle. We didn't have any any problems. It was so smooth. actually yeah And with COVID, it was even smooth then. I mean, we we couldn't, they couldn't join me, you know, with my appointments and stuff. But Sure. They just are, our team was so accommodating when they did come into town, you know, for delivery or, you know, that halfway appointment, they were very accommodating. We just found ways, you know, it was great. It it ended up being great.
Speaker: Right. Right. Yeah. So obviously, you know, you, you had mentioned the just relationship aspect was really important. We know, you know, just every good, you Every good relationship is built on trust. How were you guys just building that trust and building that relationship with each other, especially during COVID? I think too, it speaks a lot to my intended parents. they They're just fantastic people. They wanted to be involved. They wanted to get to know me. They wanted to be...
Speaker: You know, they wanted to be a big part of it, too. This was new for them. This was new for us. we were We were learning together. And I really feel like their hearts were open and their minds were open. And they just accepted me and my family. And, you know, they would check in all the time and I would check in with them all the time. It was so... um it yeah It just was very natural for us. and i And I really think that speaks to the matching process because they did, you know, match.
Speaker: They were matched so well to me, I feel. And so I was I think it just kind of in the stars. I think it just kind of aligned perfectly. Sure. Yeah.
Speaker: A lot of intended parents naturally, and I think all of us, you know, we kind of come to this with a little bit of, you know, anxiety. How did you, you know, kind of navigate just taking, you know, being aware, I guess, of, you know, just some of those nerves that naturally come as part of this process, but not necessarily like taking that on.
Speaker: Right. Feeling responsible for that. i think we were both so i you know that first meeting we just were like we're so nervous we're gonna puke we both we both said it out loud we just got it out there on the table you know I think their nerves were just as bad as mine and I really feel like like I said the communication was there we were like you know I want to throw up this is great and it just kind of right I'll hold your hair back Yeah, yeah. Let's do it together. It's fine. Yeah. So I think truly um just being open and honest and, you know, presenting your full self was, and and I feel like that for me, I didn't, I didn't want to present somebody I wasn't because I mean, at the end of the day, I will, if it all worked out at the time, i would be carrying their most precious gift. you know, their most precious commodity. So I really wanted them to also feel comfortable with me um because that is so important. I mean, you know, they can, unfortunately, when it comes to surrogacy, they don't have that hands on at all times, you know? So, so me being, being here, being open, I wanted that for them. Like I wanted them to know, you know i i
Speaker: we can all be nervous together, but let's just, let's communicate. Let's keep it open. Whatever you want to know. I don't want to cross your barriers. You don't cross my barriers. We just kind of said it. And if I had trouble saying it, I just kind of said it the best I could, you know? So I really feel like communication is huge, huge.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, and I think it's so great, you know, when you do have trouble saying it, you either do the best you can, or like you said, you know, earlier, you had a great team. You had your coordinator. and Yeah. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: And they really, i mean, they really, I've had two coordinators. um and Angela and Alana. and Alana, god yes. They're fantastic. They're fantastic. i Felt supported the whole time. We'll get right back to the show in just a second.
Speaker: But real quick, have you ever wondered what it would be like to help create a family through surrogacy? At Egg Donor and Surrogate Solutions, we've spent 18 years walking alongside women who said yes to making a difference. And we'd love to support you as you explore if surrogacy might be the right next step.
Speaker: Our team includes women who have been surrogates themselves. So when we say we understand, we truly do. You can download our surrogate journey and compensation guide at createahappyfamily.com.
Speaker: It's a big decision and it's okay to have questions. This is your invitation to find out more. All right, let's get back to the show. Again, right? Like it's so much, a coordinator is so much more than, you know, just ah navigating like navigating, you know, the the next steps and all of that, which is great and wonderful. And we love that. But to your point, right? Whenever it's like, hey, this is my first time going through this and I, something's coming up and you're like, I don't know the best way to navigate this. You have a coordinator. have a coordinator.
Speaker: a third party. Yeah. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. And I and i and i truly feel like they they know it all. So I i think that it's it's always a wonderful thing to have, ah you know, somebody extra. Because it it can get, some things can get,
Speaker: um not rocky, I don't want to say that, but but you know you don't want to upset anybody sometimes, or maybe you receive bad news at the doctor and you need a way to kind of let them, the intended parents know, and and some in some cases there is no communication between the surrogate and the intended parent. So somebody has to be there. and And that's, you know, a preference of the parent or the surrogate. And that's okay, too. But but also you, you want to nurture these relationships during these times, you don't you, you don't want them to be worried, you don't eat them as in the intended parents.
Speaker: when you when you're literally carrying their child you don't want them to worry as a surrogate you're like you you got this you know you're growing this baby everything's going well but sometimes things don't go well and sometimes you do need you know somebody to step in and help or or you you never know anything happened and and that didn't happen personally to me but but other other other stories i have heard so i i think it is so important to have a ah coordinator to be on your side through all of it also Yeah. Obviously y'all's relationship was, you know, like you said, everything was great with your first journey. It was smooth. And I mean, again, you guys had built up enough trust where your intended parents said, Hey, let's do this again. What did you think when they came to you?
Speaker: So initially ah during my first, with the first surrogate baby, it was perfect up until delivery. Labor and delivery another You know, you can't have it all. Okay. You can't have a fairy tale. So, you know, labor and delivery was, it was so difficult. And, you know, it I, I failed an induction. So that leads to a C-section. um,
Speaker: And that just wasn't something I was prepared for. Like we had done things with the doula. We, even my intended parents were involved. We had a doula, you know, we, I wanted to go natural because I had gone that way with my second, my baby, my second child. And, and so in my brain, I was like, I got this, you know, I, i i did it with my son and it was wonderful. It was perfect. And then i thought, you know what? I can,
Speaker: I can do it again. And I, and and I could, but they always tell you, you know, your baby will never be too big for you to push out of your body.
Speaker: Genetically, that baby is not your baby. So he was, he was just a big boy. And, and um so it it did lead to a C-section, you know, eventually my OB said, hey girl, we're going to have to call this because yeah it's not, it's not going to happen. So that was difficult for me. Um,
Speaker: I wasn't prepared mentally, you know, always in the back of your head, you're like, you know, it could end that way and that's okay too. But you know, is it's scary when you don't have an experience. And and and so I told myself, I will never again, i never want to be pregnant again. That's it. but you know, three years pass. And then, you know, we've got just a couple more embryos and we were, we were thinking about, you know, maybe doing another baby, but of course they wanted to ask me first before they moved on with another surrogate. And I was like, can you give me 24 hours?
Speaker: just need 24 hours to think about it. And, and, you know, in my heart, I was like, I can so do it again. Like, this is so fine. You know, I i know them. Everything's okay. My body has plenty it has had has had plenty of time to heal at that point from the previous pregnancy. And initially I was like, I said I'd never do it again. But...
Speaker: Okay, let's do it again. So, you know, I swear I feel like the female body is built to forget the pain of childbirth. i really Or there would be no more humans on this planet. 100%. I think also, like, I mean, what a what a great what a great picture of, you know, just...
Speaker: giving, giving your body and mentally like yourself, just time to heal. I told my first, like my keeper, she same thing, induction and an in a C-section and there's something, it's so much more than just the physical of healing from a C-section after your body has just gone through so much. There's this whole level of, like you said, yes, it's always in the back of your head, but then you're like, Oh, it'll be fine. But you're like, you know, you're like, no, I've got this. This is exactly how this birth story is going to go. And when it doesn't, Mm hmm. It can be difficult. Yeah, it can. And too, think it's difficult.
Speaker: um You know, you you heal physically, but also there's a mental component to that, too. You know, and it's I never felt, you know, oh I failed. Well, maybe I did have a little bit of that. But it was also. Yeah.
Speaker: you know, it can be traumatic, you know, when you are like, you know, we got to get this baby out. And some people might not be so hard on this themselves, but I felt like I kind of failed. But at the same time, you you do what's best for baby, right? You you do what's safest for baby and me because I have babies at home too. So it it is something that you have to think about and and you follow that OB b and you you do what's best. So. Mm-hmm. At the end of the day, you know, you heal, you you, you get better and you move on and then you forget, you forget how scary was. Yeah. So. Yeah. I, I, I totally hear you because I think it's so hard to use the word fail, but I think in the moment it feels like that. It it is it is a it takes time to mentally remind yourself. I didn't.
Speaker: it It didn't go how I wanted, but i certainly didn't fail because you being like you brought this beautiful baby into the world. Everyone is safe. And you made this beautiful family. Right, right, right. and i And I think, too, it also took a lot of convincing from my friends who have had failed inductions that later went on, too.
Speaker: A plan C-section, that's a whole different ballgame than one where you're not prepared, you don't know what's happening, you've been pushing and laboring for hours on end, and then you've got to still go get, you know, cut from hip to hip. And, you know, when I walked in for my plan C-section that second time, I just...
Speaker: You know, i was fresh out of the shower. Oh, it's like a vacation. Yes. I give you a little medicine, put you know, drip in the but in your back and you just lay down. It's so different. I mean, the nerves are there, but it's not, you didn't, I didn't labor for, you know, three hours before that yeah all or push for three hours before that all to, you know, still. Right.
Speaker: Right. No, exactly. Yes. is yeah Way different. No, for sure. For sure. So, okay. You had your 24 hours. You ended up saying yes. I think a lot of people think that a sibling journey is just kind of copy paste. Was that your experience at all?
Speaker: No, not at all. I thought the same thing. I thought, listen, you know, our first, our first go at this was so smooth. Well, it'll happen the same way again. yeah It just wasn't, it isn't. And I, and I think that speaks to something to kind of keep in mind is, you know, every time, you know, and I know surrogates have had multiple, multiple babies, you know, and, and I think they could probably say the same. It's,
Speaker: you're, you're restarting fresh, you know, you do know the intended parents, but, but everything is going to be different. So wipe your slate clean, open mind, open heart, and then walk into it again. It's so funny. I'll talk to surrogates and they'll say, you know, Oh, I can't imagine doing this with any other, you know, set of intended parents. And, you they're trying, they're like, Oh, I, um,
Speaker: i'm I'm nervous about having a new set of intended parents because I don't want to compare. And I think you're so right. Whether it's the same intended parents or it's a completely different set of intended parents, it's going to be a different journey either way. It is. Yes. Yes. Open mind. Open mind. Yes, absolutely. So what was different for you guys?
Speaker: So initially, everything was smooth, but during our first transfer, it did not take. And that was difficult. That was something that I have never experienced a loss, never. And and I am so incredibly blessed and I know that.
Speaker: to never experience a loss. But, you know, we had to transfer the, we got those positive pregnancy tests. We got those positive blood tests. And then, you know, I just woke up one morning and there was blood and I thought, okay, you know, this kind of happens with all my pregnancies in the early, early trimester. You you spot a little, some some people do and I did. so I thought initially I'm not going to panic. It's okay. You know, this is common. i This has happened to me for all three pregnancies and all the babies have been okay. Um, but this was a different story. You know, they got me in quickly. Thankfully, I just went ahead and got checked out because this is not my baby. I want to, we want to make sure everyone's safe and sound. Um,
Speaker: And so I went in and, you know, it didn't, I was pregnant, but there was no, there was no baby, you know, there was an embryo, there was a fetal pole, there was, or not the embryo, the, like the, the sack, the technical sort sack, there's a sack, there's a fetal pole, but there's no baby. so It was hard, you know, and processed that a little different. and i And, you know, physically, when your body is pregnant, you still go through the Even though there was no baby in in that, my body still thought it was pregnant. So I still had, you know, all the bleeding, all the pain, all the things. and And one thing I can say is...
Speaker: i was able to physically carry that burden for my intended mother. you know, she she didn't have... she didn't have to carry the physical aspect of it. Right. But, but she carried the mental aspect that embryo was, you know, you know, that, that embryo had hopes and dreams for her. And, you know, she, you know, and we knew the gender, we knew what it was. And so i really think that you start my surrogates pregnant, you know, we can start thinking of names and decorations and, you know, what's this baby going to be like? Will he look like brother? Will he you know, so, and I really think,
Speaker: I was able to, I thought it, me carrying the physical load for that. and And she carried the mental load. But two, I felt, I felt so sad, you know? And I really think that it kind of put a wall up for me because I never experienced loss. So internally, I felt very like scared, right? And I know that that's not what it's supposed to be, but I had never experienced that. My heart was broken for them. My heart was broken in general because, you know,
Speaker: i I saw the end of Sarah Guest before, right, for my intended parents. I saw the baby given to mom, and that's the end goal, right? That's the moment. And, you know, when that doesn't happen, it's very, it's so sad. um and And they didn't have many embryos left, so we knew that our chances might not be so great. um So we tried the first transfer. we it didn't, it didn't take. And then we waited.
Speaker: We waited just need a little time to kind of process. So we My kids were starting school and I was starting a new job and all these things were happening all at the same time. So we just took a little break.
Speaker: And as we did that, we reconvened and we started again. And and thankfully, there were very little issues with the second embryo transfer. We transferred the embryo. I had some... um Oh, what is that called? the Where the blood collects around An S.E.H. Yes, I had one of those. So that was, you know, a fear that we had. So... um But it did. it i mean, it ended in a sibling and she's precious and and we were so happy. But I think truly, like, i
Speaker: it put the walls up in me where i i didn't take as many pictures and I, and what if this didn't work? and I don't want to, I mean, and I, I feel very guilty about that now because i didn't have much to give her. Right. So with, with our first time the with the oldest sibling, we, i i took a picture every month, right? Like, and I sent her something i'm like, Oh,
Speaker: how big her belly is and you know we chatted all the time about it and I feel like the second time I didn't do that as much and I felt guilty but mostly because I just thought I was scared. I was so scared. And I don't think that's fair to her um But i was, i was, I was scared. And I, and um however, you know, everything was a little different that second time around. And again, it goes back to, it's different. Keep an open mind, open heart. So it is, it,
Speaker: it's a bit It was different, but it was, you know, it ended perfect. I think that's so, I mean, again, it it speaks so much to, there are so many differences, but there are so so so many similarities in terms of experiencing a loss as a surrogate.
Speaker: yeah And then being brave, everyone and being brave to say, going to do this again. yeah And, but then, like you said, you're, you're already in a position where you're taking on you know, anxiety, even before you have, would experience a loss, like, you know, like And I think,
Speaker: and i think it it sounded like you were navigating just so much in terms of what you were experiencing. i know physically, but also like in your heart, your own anxiety. And then of course, parents are yeah having their, you know, their what if moments as well. Right. Absolutely. That's a Yeah. And I think that, you know, and we as surrogates are kind of you know, removed from our intended parents. But but i I kept trying to put myself in the issues also, you know. and And I know that, unfortunately, they are familiar with loss. And that is something that weighed heavy on me because, you know, i wanted to be the one to help them, right? That was why I'm here. I'm here to help yeah them. And I wasn't able to in that moment. And I really felt...
Speaker: Sad. Isn't it so funny, though, how we can sit here and, you know, say, i I, all I wanted to do was just help them and I couldn't help them. Needless to say, like, never mind the fact that you literally, like, had done a successful journey, like, and it's just, we're so like, quick to forget the things that Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it it's it's amazing. And, you know, you have people tell you a hundred times, oh, you're so amazing. You're so amazing. And I'm like, yeah, but, like, I don't feel amazing. I'm just kind of, you know, like, it's it's not it's not just me, right? Like, these this couple is trusting me, a stranger, essentially. Well, not the second time around, but the first time around.
Speaker: Yeah. With their babies. Like, that just blows my mind, too, you know? Yeah. growing your baby for, I mean, i just, as ah you know, as parents, you, you want the best for your baby. And, and I think when you have to release some of that control, you know, you, yeah you, to somebody else that can be so scary in general. i mean, that can be absolutely terrifying. So as a surrogate, it's, I feel like it's very important to just,
Speaker: be again, be open, be honest and, and communicate and, and make sure that they know that you're doing the best you can and that you you're on their team and we're doing it together. And, and we all want the same thing. And that's for this baby to be brought into the world, healthy, happy, you know, it's that moment. It's that very end moment when, when you see mama and daddy get their baby, that just, that does it all. I mean, I, I cry every time I talk about it. It's just, you know, that's the moment that,
Speaker: yeah That's why you do it. That's why you are a surrogate. you You want so badly to help them. And then you did and you crossed that finish line and they have their baby. And it's like, oh, my heart, it just...
Speaker: top 10 emotions of my life, top three emotions my life. Yeah. No, but you're so right. When I know you said, you know, again, just the importance of communication during that second journey. I knew, you know, walls are up. Everybody's anxiety is through the roof. Yeah. How did you guys navigate just what what was y'all's relationship like during, during just that, that journey, that experience?
Speaker: Um, it wasn't, it was, it was different and and it wasn't different in a bad way. It was just different. And I think everyone just kind of was on the edge of their seat. Yeah. um just, you know, counting those months down, counting those appointments down and intimate mother and myself, we both are anxious people. So I really think that we just,
Speaker: We're in that same boat. We were, we were rowing the heck out of that canoe. I mean, it wasn't as smooth as the first one and that's okay. We got to the end, we made it through, we were there for each other. and and I am incredibly grateful, you know, that they, they wanted me to, to carry again for them because it it is so special and you do create such a special bond with this family. And I,
Speaker: I'm eternally grateful that them and babies have such a stamp on my life. and i And I am so blessed, you know, even even through the hard stuff, trying the best to keep a positive um demeanor. And just keep in mind that we all have the same end goal. And that's to get this baby here happy and healthy at the end.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. Yeah. I think it's so hard because you are, like you said, when you're in the midst of it and anxiety is through the roof and everyone is trying to just grasp for control in an uncontrollable situation. And, you know, your intent may not be read that way or you know, just things come up or you accidentally either say something or not say anything or just whatever the circumstances may be. And it can be so hard to remember in that moment. Exactly. Like you said, we all are on the same team. Yeah. yeah All have that end goal yeah mind. And if you can just keep that in the forefront, those things that can feel so monumental powerful.
Speaker: Miniscule. Peanuts. Yes. Yes. Yeah. It's easier to bite and chew, you know, those little bites down. I think that ah surely we can't be the only couple, you know, the only people that have had that same situation happen to where, you know, the anxiety gets through the roof. And everybody's a little nervous. And, you know, we just all want...
Speaker: We all want smooth sailing, right? Well, and again, right? Like what a wonderful, yes, it was a sibling journey, but like you said, it was completely different. And how great that you, again, had your coordinator there to, you know, just hold everybody's hand and keep everything moving. And again, just keep that end goal in mind, which was like you said, like a vacation of a delivery, if you will. if you will, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: Yeah, I, uh, we, you know, we, we had a great delivery and, and and I really think that it is, you know, it it does take a whole team. And then I was thankful to have you guys there on my team and, and, and the intended parents there on my team. We, we all work together and we all, we all got it. We all got it done. That's beautiful. Yeah. Okay. So baby girl was here in December. How are things looking back now? Fine. Fine.
Speaker: Like, i look back and I think, you know, I just am, I'm so happy. I'm so blessed that they are who they are and they loved me the way they loved me through it. And, you know, those those big things become little things in the grand scheme of it all. And I just, I'm so happy for them. You know, I just, I really am. And and now they have, you know, the deaf family that they always wanted and and and knew was there for them. And and I think that it's...
Speaker: And again, it's even though it's been seven months, you forget, like you forget. C-sections hurt, but what do you mean? You know, so i' so ah abdominal surgery, no big deal. yeah Yeah. It just really, when you look back on both of your journeys, what would you say maybe you are just most proud of?
Speaker: I think overall, it's just the relationship that I have with my intended parents, you know, and I, and going into that, I just wanted a picture now and then, but they do so much more than that, you know, and and I am so thankful. And when I see those babies, it just, you know, being a surrogate, I don't, I never had a maternal connection to these babies. And everyone's like, how do you do that? You just do, you know, when, when you have a calling that's already pre-programmed in you, I think, I think, you know, to be able to say, Hey,
Speaker: This isn't my baby. I know these mom and and they're fantastic mom and dad. And I cannot wait. You know, I don't have that. Oh, this is my baby, my loving. So when I see these pictures of these kiddos, I'm like, oh, I just love them. Right. But it's not like, oh, I miss them. I want them. It's I just love to see them thrive. I mean, they have the best parents. They have the cutest little life. I just love that That overall is what I'm just most happy about is the relationship we still have. And the fact that I can, you know, see these babies and I just want to squeeze them and and I just get these little updates every now and then. And it just makes me so happy.
Speaker: oh that's beautiful. For any woman that is considering being a surrogate or maybe on the fence, what would you, what advice or what words of wisdom would you want to say? Yeah. You give it to God or give it to whoever your higher power is. And if it is meant to happen, it's going to happen. If it is not meant for you, it there will be things, your Jesus, your universe, whatever it might be, might stop that from happening. And and those you've got to keep an open heart and accept it and and just give it a go. i mean, it it is so rewarding.
Speaker: If you have a calling to be a surrogate, it is incredibly rewarding to see that calling come to fruition. it is amazing. so powerful. it is, ah it is so, i don't know. It gives me goosebumps when i think about it. I just, you create, it I mean, you help create a whole family and I, and I think it's, it's beautiful. Go do it, try it. And if it's not meant to be, it's not going to happen. And if it is meant to be, you're going to, you're just going to be so much happier and feel so much better about the experience at the end.
Speaker: No, a hundred percent. Well, Erica, your story is just so beautiful on so many different ways. And I could not be more grateful for your willingness to just share and be vulnerable with us. I have one last question for you. It's a fun one though. Yeah, sure. Okay. So you've seen me this entire time sipping on coffee. For anyone who knows me, I am never without um my sweet coffee. um And so I always love to ask the question, what has filled your cup lately? Literally or figuratively, what has filled your cup?
Speaker: Um, okay. So it is garden season. We did discuss old granny hobbies earlier. i have been gardening since 2020 when the world locked down and I have all of my flowers are blooming and it is it is just, there is something I love so much about cutting flowers and bringing them into my home, giving them to my friends. i just, that has filled my cup lately. Being able to walk into my house every night with my tomatoes in one hand and my flowers in the other.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. I could not love this more. And I need you to come to my house and fix it. Yeah. Let's go on a tour. Yeah. yeah Yes. ah Oh my gosh. That's amazing. And so dreamy. I love that. It is. It's my moment. I get a few moments at probably 30, 45 minutes at the end of the day. And that's where I'm at. I'm in the garden. I'm clipping things. I got my chickens be bopping around and it's just, it is my, it's my element while I can. Yeah.
Speaker: I love it. love it so much. It's absolutely beautiful. Well, again, Erica, thank you so much. Really. Thank you for having me.
