Transcript
Speaker: I was like, why is no one talking about this? We have to get these stories out there to make people feel less alone. When you're in the middle of building your family, you don't know how your story is going to end.
Speaker: And sometimes it can feel like everyone else's story has already been written. So what happens when we make room for the stories that are still unfolding? The ones that take an unexpected path or the ones that don't end the way we thought they would? I think that people who are her sharing their stories about, you know, this is how it can look if it doesn't go the way you thought it was going to go are really valuable in this community too. Today, I'm joined by award-winning journalist, author, and host of the Infertile AF podcast, Alison Prado.
Speaker: After experiencing secondary infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, and ultimately IVF herself, Allie began telling her own story. And nearly 400 podcast episodes later, she's still making space for others to tell theirs.
Speaker: And that belief that our stories deserve to be seen doesn't stop with the adults living them. We also talk about Ali's work of art children's book series and her newest book, Petri dish princess, which she created with Elizabeth Carr, the first person born through IVF in the US.
Speaker: From telling the stories she once needed to hear herself, to helping a new generation see their own families reflected on the page, Allie has spent years making sure more people can find themselves in the stories we tell. Because sometimes finding a story that feels a little like yours can help you feel seen and make all the difference when you're still figuring out how your own will unfold.
Speaker: Enjoy. Take me back to the beginning. Sure. what What did you think building your family was going to look like? And when did you realize it wasn't going to happen the way you expected?
Speaker: So I had secondary infertility. um I have my daughter who's almost 17 and she is not an assisted reproduction baby. She was, I hate the word natural because it makes it sound like, you know, it's not better or worse. yeah But she was not, you know, she was conceived without any intervention.
Speaker: And, yeah you know, my my husband and I i was 38 when I had her. Is that right? No, no, no, I'm not that old. I was 35.
Speaker: Wait, what's the math? I was 35 when she was born. And so then when I started to try for my, our second kid, you know, we waited a couple of years because we didn't have any real issues getting pregnant with her.
Speaker: And, um, we waited a couple of years to try for baby number two. And then I was suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss. So, I had four miscarriages but you know between my daughter and when we finally went to REI in New York to talk about fertility and you know doing treatments. so And I was just totally caught off guard. you know The first miscarriage, I was like, this is awful, but everyone I know has probably had a miscarriage, so it's common.
Speaker: Second one, I was like, oh, something's maybe going on here. But then three and four, I was like, okay, there's something wrong. So we did end up going in to see the person who ended up being my doctor, who's Joshua Klein, who is awesome. He's with Extend Fertility now, but he was with RMA at the time.
Speaker: And I met with him and he was you know did the workup and he said, I think this is an an egg issue. You know, it's an age thing. And that was the first, honestly, i have ever heard about egg quality and how it, you know, can diminish as you get older. i literally was so clueless about my own body. And I talk about this all the time that,
Speaker: you know The sex education I got had nothing to do with fertility. We talk about this on our show a lot. you know It's like, don't get pregnant, don't get pregnant. It's so easy to get pregnant. No one talks about fertility. No one talks about you know how as you get older, or at the time, no one did. you know How as you get older, it's harder. Your egg quality does diminish. You're born with all the egg ah all the eggs you'll ever have.
Speaker: You know, I was looking at Hollywood and seeing, oh, Halle Berry just had a baby at 46. And, you know, Janet Jackson had a baby at 50. And I literally just thought you can have a baby whenever you want. Like, and again, i sound like a total idiot. But this was, you know, 10 plus years ago when this was not really talked about a lot.
Speaker: So I went in very clueless. And i don't think you sound like a total idiot because I think it still is that way despite, you know, us being in, I mean, this is like our world. And so I think we hear about it so much, but I talked to, you know mom and carpool. And that's still the the thought. Right.
Speaker: Right. Exactly. So I kind of found myself in this very strange, they didn't even call it secondary infertility while I was going through it. And again, that's just a testament to how little vile it was discussed. So I found that out after the fact, somebody was like, you know, you had secondary infertility. And i was like, I never heard that term before.
Speaker: um But we ended up, you know, my doctor was great and said, you're a perfect candidate for IVF because you do have good quality eggs. We just have to find them. So if you go, you know, he explained, if you go through IVF, we can find the good eggs. There was no issues on my husband's side.
Speaker: And... you know, this is, I'm kind of glossing over it because it was a very long road to actually get my husband to agree to do IVF. It was totally paid for out of pocket. So we had to get both of our parents to give us money on each side, you know? So it was, as people know, it's very, very expensive and it wasn't part of the plan and we hadn't really budgeted for it. And You know, I talk, I'm very candid about how my marriage was kind of rocky at that time because not that he didn't want another kid, but it had been three years of miscarriages and depression for me. And I think at a certain point, he was just like, we're good. We have ever our daughter.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm not done yet. I'm just not done yet. Like there's someone else out there. And, you know, i mean, I think people will understand who are in the thick of it. You just have that gut feeling and that feeling in your heart if your family's not complete yet. And I just didn't feel like it was complete yet. So after a long, you know, road and many, many discussions, my husband and I agreed to do one round of IVF. And, you know, I was in therapy at the time and she was,
Speaker: you know, had kind of gotten me mentally to the place where, you know, if we were a family of three, that would have been okay. And that would have been lovely. But, you know, again, I wasn't quite there fully yet. So we did do the one round of IVF.
Speaker: It miraculously did work. um But I had tested my embryos. i had five embryos that went for PGT testing and only one of them was healthy. So I had one healthy embryo, one shot at it.
Speaker: you know, and again, i didn't really know. i knew i was very, very lucky when it worked, but I didn't know the extent of how lucky I was that it did work on that first try. So, you know, I've talked to so many people over the years who've done round after round and have had a transfer that worked, but then it didn't. And, you know, there's just so many scenarios and so many places this can go wrong that I feel so, so lucky and grateful that it did work on that one round. and I got pregnant and had my son in 2015.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, that's amazing. And I i appreciate the fact that you you talk so candidly about that experience and how hard it is. I mean, yes, there's the obvious economic challenge and there's just the physical challenge of everything. But I think this is just such a prime example of why it is so important to tell stories. Mm Because it is so easy for something that is one in six. It is so easy for someone to feel so alone. I know. and they are in the thick of it. Absolutely. And I felt so isolated at the time too, because I had, you know, if I didn't have any friends that had gone through IVF.
Speaker: I found out later actually that a couple of them had like distant friends and but you know hadn't shared that with me until I came out with my story, which is fine you know people don't need to talk about this if they don't want to. But for me I've always been a pretty open book and you know that's why I started the podcast in 2019 and for laugh because I was like, why is no one talking about this? We have to get these stories out there to make people feel less alone. So the first episode of the podcast is me telling my story. And then, you know, there's been almost 400 episodes since then. So it's just there's obviously so many different paths that people are taking to build their families, so many different outcomes.
Speaker: You know, the the stories just continue to, somebody the other day was like, how long are you going to the podcast? I'm like, people are still emailing me multiple times a week that want to share their stories. And, you know, I'm going after celebrities and, you know, I'm like, the stories still need to be told. So I don't know. i don't have an end date on it. You know, i'll I'll tell these stories as long as the stories are wanting to be told because, know,
Speaker: There's somebody new every day who's entering this infertility world or this treatment world, and they might be discovering the podcast right now because they didn't need it before. you know So I feel like I'm going to keep doing it until you know I don't know when indefinitely. yeah No, for sure. For sure. I hear you. You, I know you said you were an open book and you know your, your history is, is in journalism. So you've spent your entire career, you know, just telling other people's stories, you know, when, when you realized, you know, I think it's time to tell my own story.
Speaker: Did you have like, ah did did you have a fear? Were you were afraid? No, I wasn't because I was like, i mean, what, what's what, I don't know. I just, it's just very natural to me to be like, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, this happened to me.
Speaker: I didn't, I mean, maybe it's, i maybe I should have thought about it, but I feel like with a lot of stuff in my career, it's just like, we'll figure it out. You know, like I don't overthink it. Sure.
Speaker: I just felt like I needed to put that, you know, put my story out there. And, you know, thankfully there hasn't been, you know, any like backlash or anything like that. I mean, there has been points where my husband's like, wait, we almost got divorced. And I'm like, well, I was ready to divorce you. Cause I talk that. I'm like, yeah, we were close to divorce. He's like, we were, i was like, in my mind, we were. So maybe that's the only surprise. Yeah. Surprise. Um, it's so funny though, too, cause he was on my podcast for my hundredth episode because I was like, even though we were going through the same situation, we had two totally different experiences. So I interviewed him for episode 100 and we actually had to get a little drunk before we did it. Cause I was nervous.
Speaker: I was like, what's he going to say? So you can hear us like gushing open, like cans of high noon, like as I'm interviewing him. I love it. I love it. That's Hey, sometimes we just need some liquid courage. Right?
Speaker: exactly Okay. So i I love it. I ah obviously like, I have to ask about the name. Do you remember like when you came up with infertile AF, like ah why you chose that name? I was in a yoga class and, um, it just kind of popped in my head. i i feel like I get a lot of my good ideas when I'm exercising, maybe because my brain is cluttered with all the other things in the world and like ideas will come flow in and out, but it just kind of, you know, popped in my head. And I was like, I think that's,
Speaker: a great name for something so you know it ended up being the name podcast I feel like just humor gives us kind of just that permission to talk about right things a little differently yeah yeah I've had some people i actually had one person who didn't want to be on the show because of the title because can we can we curse on this show or no Well, cause you know, the AF stands for as fuck.
Speaker: Um, yeah but I had somebody be like, Oh, I don't know. I don't feel comfortable with that. And I was like, okay, so they weren't a guest. And then I've had another person in my life. I won't call them out and who they were, but they tell their, they tell people that they're friends with that. The title is alternative fertility. So infertile alternative. Okay. If that's what you need to call it, that's fine.
Speaker: ah Sure. That's fine. Whatever, whatever you need to tell yourself. Exactly. When, when you were going through your, your own journey, what, what did you feel like you weren't finding that, you know, infertile AF gives two people? Yeah. Again, I just felt so lonely. I mean, I have, you know, I had a lot of yeah friends I could talk to about it, but nobody that was in the thick of it, that was in the midst of it. And, you know, I just wanted people that were going through what I was going through.
Speaker: um You know, I looked, i remember going to the bookstore, looking for books, and there was like one book about miscarriage. It was called Every Drunken cheer Cheerleader, Why Not Me?, And I was like, that's a great title, lee and it was not a great book. you know, there just weren't a lot of resources. There weren't a lot of podcasts at the time and community, you know, I would look on Facebook groups, but it was like so overwhelming and I couldn't really find my people. And that's why we went on to yeah start Fertility Rally in 2020 was because I wanted to bring like-minded people together, you know, that were in the thick of their journeys at the same time.
Speaker: And, um, you know, that we actually just stopped doing our fertility rally support groups last month or this month. Um, so we did it for six and a half years. We had more than 4,000 people come through the doors for our groups and events, which is awesome. Um, we still have our Instagram and stuff. So, and our website's still up, but we're just no longer doing active groups. But point being that, you know, community, I was seeking community. I think one thing that I really love is you've You've made an intentional choice, not only to tell the stories that end with a baby. You've you've made the choice of, you know, just telling the person's story. Why is that important to you to make room for stories that, you know, just don't always have that.
Speaker: Yeah. The ending that everyone's hoping for. Great question, because this doesn't always end up with a baby, right? Like fertility journeys don't always end up. with walking away with a baby and it breaks my heart that sometimes that's the case, but there's been a lot of people on the show um who have, you know, pivoted. i never, ever want to use the word give up because I feel like that has such a negative yeah connotation. So I always say they pivoted from treatment or they, you know,
Speaker: took a detour or went a different route. And, you know, they're living amazing, totally full, wonderful lives. I'll shout out Lana Manikowski, who is in Chicago, and she wrote a book about it called Now What?
Speaker: You know, about going through fertility treatments and not doing you know, not walking away with a baby, but she's living this hugely full life and is very happy. And she's such a great example of, you know, even if it doesn't go the way you thought it was going to go, you can still have a wonderful, totally full life. And some of our Fertility Rally members too have gone that route.
Speaker: And, you know, I think it's a brave thing to do. And, you know, I think that people who are her sharing their stories about, you know, this is how it can look if it doesn't go the way you thought it was going to go are really valuable in this community too. So, yeah, I mean, the point of the pod was, you know, talking about all sorts of different stories, you know, same sex couples, single parents by choice, donor, surrogacy, foster, adoption,
Speaker: you know, childless, not by choice, all the above, just because I think the more, the more people who can look at something and say, i feel seen, that's my story too, or I feel heard.
Speaker: That's what it's all about. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For sure. On, on that same, just in that same breath, you know, i know you went on to do your work of art series. What made you realize that, you know, those were stories you wanted kids to be able to just see themselves in? Yeah.
Speaker: It's kind of the same vibe, right? You know, just normalizing the conversation about families being created in so many different ways. There's so many kids now who are born through assisted reproductive technology.
Speaker: And I don't, you know, this certainly is not the first book series or book, you know, about this. There's so many good ones out there and I love and support all the other people who are who are writing these books and putting this content out there. But, you know, for me, again, it was work of art. The title came to me while I was in like a SoulCycle class and I was like, oh, ART, art. Like, that's so cute. And I remember thinking, got to write this book before somebody else takes this title.
Speaker: So, you know, I just kind of sat down one day and wrote the story of my son being born through... you know, IVF and how it was something to be celebrated and how he was so wanted. And, you know, there's so many kids out there that are born this way. And, you know, I just wanted him to be proud of it. And, you know, my daughter and son were born in two totally different ways, but they were both really wanted. and you know, there's no right or wrong, as we know. So, you know, the cool thing about the work of art series, I think is like, it's in my son's school libraries now. And like his librarian emailed me last year and said, i just want you to know the book's been getting checked out like crazy. And I love the fact that-
Speaker: you know, it's not because it's a kid who necessarily is an IVF or an ART baby, but they like, it looks cool and there's basketball and it looks fun. And they might take it home and be like, wow, that's, I didn't know Sonny, you know, was created in a lab, you know, but also just like having families realize like, and kids realize like, oh, this is like, there's no stigma. This is awesome. Like, oh, that's a different way than I was born. But you know, that's really cool too. So it's just, it's, it's all about normalizing it. And, you know, just again, having kids, I feel like every kid and family deserves to see themselves on bookshelves, you know, to to go to a bookstore and there's nobody representing the LGBTQ plus or the single mom or the donor child, you know, that's, that's no good. We want everybody to be seen and celebrated.
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Speaker: Our team has been there. Many of us are former surrogates, egg donors, and intended parents, so we truly understand this journey. If you're ready to take the next step, visit createahappyfamily.com to apply today.
Speaker: All right, let's get back to the show. I want to talk about Petri dish princess. So for, you know, you are taking Elizabeth Carr's story and like shout out to Elizabeth. She's also a friend of the pod. Yes. Um, so for those who don't know, oh my God, she's just so fun.
Speaker: She like her energy. I'm just like, i just want to be in a room with you. i know Like that's it. I don't even need to talk. I just want to be in a room. Agreed. Um, Okay, but for those who don't know, she's the first baby born through IVF in the United States. And you guys are co-writing or co-wrote um her story as a children's book. How did the two of you decide that this was the story that you wanted to tell together? So I met Elizabeth, she was a guest my pod and we just became friends. And as you know, and you know, anyone who knows her, she's always out and about. She's a huge advocate for, you know, protecting IVF and protecting family building through ART.
Speaker: And she's just awesome. And she was on my podcast and, you know, we really hit it off. We're like, let's keep talking. Let's do things together. And one day I just was thinking, what's my next book going to be? And I thought, oh my God, I should do Elizabeth's story. yeah So I text her and I was like, hey, do you want to be, you know, the subject of my next book? And within like an hour, she wrote back like, yes, all caps, like one hundred exclamation points. So I called her, of it you know, we talked about it and, you know, i said, i want you to Anybody that I've collaborated on books with, like Beautiful Bird is a true story of my best friend and her family.
Speaker: I want to make sure that they're very involved in the process. So I wrote the story, but obviously ran it by her. And it was based on not only our podcast interview, but other interviews she's done and the book that she wrote too. So I pulled some things from there, ran it by her and said, I just want to make sure this story is told as you want it to be told. I want you to be super proud of it.
Speaker: And we went back and forth a little bit and she's so easy to you know, to work with and amenable and wonderful. And was like, I love it. Great. Perfect. And, you know, she sent me photos and set photos of her parents, you know, because my illustrator is very detail oriented and make sure that everything is,
Speaker: you know, exactly how we want it to be. So he based it on photos of her. There's like the Life magazine cover that she was on when she was born. um You know, i just, I love Elizabeth and I love what she stands for. And we've become very good friends and, you know, I'm proud to tell her story. And again, it was like, I want, I better to do this before somebody else tells tells her story, you know? And she was, she's always been supportive of the work of art books. And You know, she was like, I'm, you know, honored to be a part of the series because, you know, she knows that she and I share this passion for, again, normalizing these stories and celebrating, you know, IVF and ART. And um it was fun. It was so fun working on it with her. I also love the fact that it's not just her story. It's it's IVF history. This is women's health reproductive medicine history.
Speaker: And, you know, um Louise Brown was the first IVF baby in the world. She was born in England. And so Elizabeth jokes that, you know, Louise Brown is the queen. So she started calling herself the princess and she started, you know, posting and using this hashtag Petri dish princess and people loved it.
Speaker: And, you know, when we were talking about titles for the book, I was like, do you have any ideas? And she gave me, you know, that was one of the ideas. And i was like, That's the title that that's enhanced, like no question, period, end of story. So, um you know, it's, it comes from a place of love and it's been so fun to work on it with her and we're going to be out and about promoting it and, you know, sharing it with everybody. And it's, it's just really cool.
Speaker: Oh, I love that. as as you were As you were writing it with each other and as you were going through everything, did you learn something about her story or just about the history of IVF that most people maybe don't know?
Speaker: Yeah, I didn't realize that although she was the first successful IVF baby in the US, her family was not the first ones to try it. There were 40 something other people who were kind of in this like um test group or cohort, I guess you could say that were, you know, trying this new procedure and how other families had tried it, but her, you know, her parents were the first ones that successfully did get pregnant and you know had the healthy babies. So I didn't realize that bit of it, which I thought was very interesting.
Speaker: And also, I didn't know before I met her and started talking to her about this, that there was a documentary crew in the delivery room when she was born. So there's a Nova documentary out there called A Daughter for Judy. And it's all about when she was born. You know, we say in the book, Elizabeth was in the spotlight since she was three cells old. And that is true. you know, she literally doesn't know any different. So it's just really cool to know that, you know, she's the most down to earth person. She's very you know proud of her status as you know the first IVF baby in the US, but she's also so warm and loving and you know really embraces everybody in this community and wants to do good. and
Speaker: I just feel you know a kinship with her about that because we really, truly care about people who are going down this path and we know how hard it is and she knows how hard it was for her parents because her mom had recurrent pregnancy loss and ectopic pregnancy, I believe.
Speaker: um So, you know, it's just she paved she paved the way. Her parents were brave and you know tried this new thing and It also surprises me that, and surprises other people too, that she's only, Elizabeth's only 40, not even 45 yet. She'll be 45 in December.
Speaker: And people are like, IVF is only 45 years old. And I'm like, isn't that crazy? Like it's, you know, there's obviously millions of babies who are born that way since- She was born, but I love the fact that she was the first and she's still in it and still being like, come along, you know, let's celebrate you. And she, she told me that she gives people when she meets them a high five, if they're an IVF baby, because she's like, welcome to the club, you know, high five. And I love that. I think, yes, Elizabeth was, you know, like you said, she's not even quite 45. And I know, I feel like people are thinking that she's like 80 something. um But, you know, with this, I mean, she has, she's, she's such a voice in the community and she has been, you know, like you said, just so loud and proud. But I love that this is a story that is for, you know, just kind of a new generation of of children.
Speaker: Why did you feel like it was important to for the two of you to tell this story now? Because i think that, you know, this this is a mainstream story. You know, this is, like I said, it's it's a piece of history. It's female empowerment. It's people supporting each other. It's people, it's about bravery. It's about love. You know, there's so many themes in this story. And I just feel like now more than ever with what's going on in the world and, you know, um people trying to, you know, shut down IVF and all these laws and things are happening in
Speaker: you know, we don't need to get political, but people who are in this world know that, you know, it needs to be protected. And i wouldn't have my son if it wasn't for Elizabeth's parents who did this procedure, you know, like, i just feel very, very protective of science and medicine. And, you know, I think it's important to put this out there to say, like,
Speaker: look how many lives have been changed for the good because of this. Like this is so important. You know, another line in the book, I say when she was born, she was only, six pounds she was a tiny baby but she was a very big deal and you know she still is i love that so much and i i love that you know i always joke that i was a i'm a former surrogate and you know one of the questions that i get is you know well what did your kids think about it yeah and i am always like they thought it was
Speaker: what it was. Right. I think we try, we make such a big deal out of things. And for kids, it just, is. Yeah. It's just another story. Yeah. I mean, I think it's so beautiful for your kids to see you doing that for another family. Like I can't think of a better example to set that like you're doing this for the good to help other people in the most selfless way. So kudos to you for, for doing that. And like, thank you. How wonderful for your kids to see that example, you know, like, oh, my mom like cares so much about other people that she did X, Y, and Z. And that's so cool. I hope they're so proud of you. I'm sure they are.
Speaker: thank you i don't think I mean i think i mean maybe it doesn't resonate now because they're kids but yeah exactly they're just like whatever yeah right ah right to yeah I think it was Elizabeth who who thank you yeah no I think Elizabeth said this it was something similar about her son he was like I don't understand like why like you're such a big deal because right it's like we're just mom yeah totally but you know both things can be true she can be just mom but she can also be a very big deal Very, very big deal. Yeah. What do you hope, you know, kids will feel when they open, you know, this book or really any of your books and, you know, just recognize their own family in it? Yeah. um
Speaker: Again, you know, i say I hope that kids feel seen and loved and supported and heard and know that they matter and know that they were wanted.
Speaker: And, you know, I want everybody to feel always included. you know, that's a big theme in like all the work that I've done is inclusivity and diversity.
Speaker: You know, the books I've made a very conscious choice to have like all races and all types of families and, you know, represented in the illustrations as well. And, you know, i just think that to open up the pages of any book, not just mine, but, and to see something like, Oh, that looks like me or, Oh, that's kind of similar to my story. It just makes you feel, everybody just wants to feel seen, right? That's the gist of life. We all want to feel seen and heard.
Speaker: So that's, you know, this is my little piece in, in trying to foster that a little bit more. Well, um, you know egg donor and surrogate solutions. We're proud sponsors of the book and are so excited. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. can't wait to send it to you. I cannot wait to send it to you. I'm going start shipping them out tomorrow.
Speaker: Yes, please. I can't wait to just get my hands on it and see it. What? So, okay. For people like hearing about this book for the first time, yeah what, what can you tell us? Like, when's it coming out?
Speaker: What, what are you most excited about for people to experience when they get to read? it Yes. Oh my God. Thank you again for being a part of it. We had, you know, some really awesome people supporting the book from the jump and including you guys. And that is means the world. So thank you for that.
Speaker: going to start crying. um It's just so awesome when, you know, people with like-minded missions help each other out. You know, I was on a call the other day it was with a bunch of other fertility founders. We do this monthly call. And I said, I had just read this thing that was like,
Speaker: you know, competition happens at the bottom. At the top, we collaborate. And I fully believe that, you know, there's room for everybody. And there's so many people in our world who are doing incredible things. And like, we can only all benefit by supporting each other. I truly believe that. So yes anyway, thanks again. yes um But yes, the book is available on my website, which is infertileafgroup.com. the first 100 copies which we're almost at that number for pre-sales but they're going signed by both elizabeth and me and personalized with whatever message you want and numbered so um i've done that with all the books numbered them so you have kind of like a little limited edition and then next month i'll get more copies i just kind of got the first expedited shipment today but next month we'll get like the full big shipment and
Speaker: you know Elizabeth will be with me and we'll be going around and sharing it with everybody. We'll be at ASRM. um But yeah, i just you know i it's a great thing for doctors to have in their clinics. It's a great gift for people. um you know it's it's The goal with this one is like if any of these books is going to go mainstream, it's this one. you know Like I said, it's a story about history and about...
Speaker: female empowerment and you know bravery and I just think that and hope that this is you know the one that kind of breaks through because I feel like everybody in our world knows about the this book series but like I want people who aren't in our world to know about it as well and to just have this beautiful book. yeah on their shelves amongst all the other books that they love. So that's the goal is just get it out there far and wide and share Elizabeth's beautiful story and continue, you know, her legacy and continue to to support people and, and spread the love basically. So for for you, just after everything you've personally been through yourself and then all of the stories that you have been trusted to hold and share, what does hope mean to you now Good question.
Speaker: So hope to me now means when you really listen to your gut and you know, when you feel supported and when you're trusting kind of the process, um, and you know, connecting with people, it's, it's, it's a lot of different things, you know, it's, it's wanting something really badly and, you know, just like knowing that you would do anything in the world to, to make it happen, you know, and
Speaker: It's, I love that word hope. It's, it's really powerful. And, you know, i I hope that, you know, anybody listening that might be in the thick of their journey knows that they're not alone and they can always reach out to you guys and me and Elizabeth. And, you know, we're all active on our DMs and, you know, everybody's just in this world because they want to be. you know,
Speaker: you know, we have hope for each other. and I think that's really important too. No, I couldn't agree more. for For that person that is just still in the thick of it and still in the middle of their story, and maybe they're not ready to you know to talk about it yet, what would you want them to know about the value of their story even before they know how it ends?
Speaker: I would say to anybody who's still in the thick of it, your story matters. You know your pain is valid.
Speaker: You know, we always say in fertility rally, it's not the pain Olympics. You know, someone will say, oh, you know, i wasn't that far along when I had a miscarriage. And we're like, no, no, no. Don't compare your journey to anybody else's.
Speaker: It doesn't matter how far along you were. Like it hurts no matter what. This is hard no matter what, no matter what stage you're at, no matter how long you've been doing it no matter what road you're currently traveling, your pain is valid.
Speaker: Your story is valid. You know, there's somebody out there, including, like I said, all of us, you know, to hold your hand as you're going through it because this is so effing hard and it's so sad.
Speaker: And I still have PTSD from, you know, when I was going through all my losses, I cannot see a Pampers commercial without getting like this visceral, know, like guttural, like PTSD, like physical response yeah because there was this Pampers commercial that was always playing on TV when I was like in the thick of it and it would just make me ah crazy. um Yes. You know, i would say to anybody – you are are not alone. You are totally valid in feeling mad and sad and, you know, scared and all the things. But like, um if you can find community, that doesn't have to be a big community. it could maybe be ah a person, you know, a friend or a colleague or you know, um but I think it does help to have at least somebody there holding your hand.
Speaker: So that would be my advice. And, you know, um, just sending so much love because it is, it is very, very, very hard. Yeah, for sure. For sure.
Speaker: Again, like exactly like you said, your story so matters even in the middle of it. yeah And yes, finding, finding, finding someone to share that with what you've gone through, what you're going through now is so, so necessary. Even, even if you just want to,
Speaker: close it off. Yeah. You definitely don't have to talk about it publicly or on a podcast or even with your yeah parents or your best friend, you know, but, um it does help to, to have somebody in your corner and whatever that looks like for you. And, you know, I would also say like, if anyone wants to DM me, I'm, my DMs are open. i will happily talk to anybody, you know, it's just because I know how much it helps to even have,
Speaker: that quick conversation with someone because you're like okay, I'm not crazy. I'm not, I'm not yeah not alone and they get it, you know? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's wonderful. It's wonderful to have somebody to just, you know, Hey, yeah, I get it. I get it. Yeah.
Speaker: A hundred percent. Well, Allie, thank you just so much for sharing your story for all that you do to share other stories. I'm so excited for Petri dish princess. I really, I mean, again, i just, I'm, I'm just so pumped. I have one last question for you. Um, you have seen me this whole time for anyone who knows me, they know that coffee and I are never far from one Yes. I was impressed that you didn't like slush your coffee or holding an open mug.
Speaker: Thank you. Thank you. I do. i believe I am the professional, but, um but yes, no, I may have a problem, but I always love to ask the question. What has filled your cup? Literally, what has been the thing to fill your cup?
Speaker: Wow. Oh my gosh. So many things. i i I, do this workout class and at the end of the class, it sounds really woo woo, but we, everybody goes around and talks about their intention or what they're grateful for. And it's such a cool exercise. You really learn about people. Oh, I love that. um And I'm always like, what am going to talk about? You know, the, thankfully there's a lot to choose from lately, but what has filled my cup? Just people in our world who,
Speaker: have like pure intentions to support each other and help each other out. People who show up fill my cup. That is the most important thing right now, be it in friendship, be it in business, be it in, you know, whatever regard.
Speaker: People who show up fill my cup and I try to show up as much as, you know, I expect from people. But I think as I've gotten older, the people who don't show up, I'm like, bye. You know, like there's something to be said showing up and whatever that may look like, be it emotionally or physically or, you know, whatever. But yeah, showing up. Yeah, that's amazing. Well, again, thank you for all you've done, all you're doing, all you're going do. I'm just so excited. Thank you guys for all that you do and for this show. And again, sharing all these stories and genuinely wanting to help so many people. I'm honored to know you and thank you again for supporting the book and all the books. And, you know, I can't wait to do more things with you.
