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Being a Survivor Leader with Oree Freeman| Trafficking Free America Podcast
50 Plays5 days ago
What does it truly take to be a survivor leader? In this heartfelt and unfiltered episode of the Trafficking Free America Podcast, we explore the raw truth behind leadership after trauma, featuring a powerful solo reflection from a survivor turned advocate and mentor.
From the early days of toxic jobs and missed opportunities to hard-earned wisdom about accountability, grace, and healing—this episode is a blueprint for nonprofits, leaders, and anyone who wants to build safe spaces where survivors don’t just heal—they lead.
This is for the dreamers, the overcomers, and the ones still figuring it out. If you've ever asked, "How can I help survivors lead?" — start here.
🔗 Learn more or support the mission: https://www.usiaht.org
❤️ Become an Abolitionist: https://usiaht.org/donate/
⏱ Timestamps
00:00 – Leadership starts with vulnerability and healing
00:29 – Welcome to the podcast: today’s topic hits close to home
01:25 – What is a survivor leader, really? What do they need to thrive?
02:17 – You don’t need a degree to lead—you need lived experience
03:20 – Becoming a servant leader starts with how you care for yourself
04:53 – The honesty of growing up while still carrying trauma
06:00 – When grace meets accountability: how employers helped me grow
07:15 – A probation officer’s simple act that changed everything
08:52 – The Denny’s job that gave me dignity and basic life skills
10:24 – Learning what healthy structure and family really looked like
12:00 – How lying to those who loved me led to consequences—and growth
13:46 – What every survivor needs more than a paycheck: mentorship
15:04 – Why healing must come before service work
16:36 – You don’t have to lead like anyone else—just be faithful to your process
17:50 – SWOT yourself: Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, Threats
18:24 – Integrity, consistency, therapy, and the lifelong work of growth
19:46 – Final encouragement: Finish well. Pass the baton. You got this.
🙌 Key Takeaways:
- Being a survivor leader isn’t about perfection—it’s about persistence
- Healthy leadership is rooted in therapy, boundaries, mentorship, and truth
- Nonprofits should build systems that empower—not just employ—survivors
- Your healing journey is not a job description. It’s a foundation.
🎧 Listen. Reflect. Equip. Whether you’re a survivor, an ally, or a nonprofit leader, this conversation is a mirror and a map.
Subscribe, share, and support to help us build a Trafficking Free America—together.
#TraffickingFreeAmerica #SurvivorLeadership #HumanTrafficking #AntiTrafficking #HealingJourney #LeadershipAfterTrauma #USIAHT #Podcast
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Transcript
Introduction to Leadership and Community
00:00:00
Speaker
And I'm being transparent. I'm being vulnerable. Like that's the area of weakness for me. Another area weakness for me is my tone. Being a great leader is knowing how to speak to people. So it's a lot to be a leader. It's a lot to become a leader.
00:00:14
Speaker
um But like I said, you know, making sure that you have a healthy community. If you don't have one, go find one. They're out there. I promise you they are.
00:00:29
Speaker
Hey, everyone. Thank you for joining us again on the Trafficking Free America podcast. If you are new to this channel or you're new to this podcast, I do encourage you to click subscribe, comment, ask for resources, ask for more. Because today's topic, we are going to talk about something that is very dear to my heart and something that I'm honestly still navigating, still learning how to do very well.
00:00:58
Speaker
um But what I will say is This is a podcast for nonprofits, whether if you are a survivor yourself, um if you are an individual that wants to start a business, if you are an individual that it works with um people who have experienced ah exploitation or have trauma in their narrative.
Defining Leadership with Grace and Experience
00:01:18
Speaker
And I'll be transparent. It's a very touchy topic because, like I said, I'm still currently learning how to do it well. But what is a survivor leader? I could focus on that, but more so i want to talk about today with you all is what makes like what makes an individual a leader?
00:01:38
Speaker
What breaks them? um What are the lessons that they have to learn? What are the things that individuals with traumatic experience may need grace in?
00:01:49
Speaker
An area they may need grace in? What resources are available? Because the ultimate thing, someone who's experienced exploitation, who survived it, who's lived it, who's overcome it, who's now a thriver,
00:02:02
Speaker
They deserve an opportunity to. And that's the first thing I'm to tell you all, everyone that's watching, is that people with lived experience deserve an opportunity to. Sometimes they don't have the degree.
00:02:13
Speaker
Sometimes they don't have the accreditation. Sometimes they don't have the certificate. But they do have a Ph.D. in experience. They do have a Ph.D. in their healing. If they've taken the necessary steps.
00:02:23
Speaker
One of the things my mentor, Jim Carson, used to always tell me was i i would always feel like I wasn't qualified to to do this work, to be in the movement of anti-human trafficking and really combat this.
00:02:35
Speaker
I didn't feel worthy. I didn't feel equipped. I didn't feel like I'd have enough experience. He would always remind me when I would go do my speaking events, you have a PhD. You can teach these people. you can change their hearts, you can change their minds, and you can give them something new.
00:02:52
Speaker
And it has helped me along my career. But what I will say is that it took a lot of hard lessons and still a lot of hard lessons to become a good servant leader.
Self-Care and Servant Leadership
00:03:02
Speaker
Learning how to serve people well, whether that's as an executive or whether that is just as a case manager, because it's ultimately it boils down to how I serve people myself And when I say serve myself, I'm not talking about bowing down to myself and giving me everything I want. No, I'm talking about how am i taking care of myself?
00:03:23
Speaker
Am I going to therapy? Do I have healthy community? Do I have Christ in my life? Do I have God in my life to where I'm submitted to something? That I'm submitted, for me, I'm submitted to the Lord, the ultimate Lord.
00:03:36
Speaker
you know um And that's for me, because I know that some of you all that may be watching this are in a different place in your life, um and it may be hard for you to receive that, and I respect that. But we do hold space for truth.
00:03:48
Speaker
And so for me, um when I didn't have that relationship with the Lord or when I didn't have community and when I wasn't accountable to anybody, train wreck, no there was nobody to hold me accountable for some of the decisions that I did make in my adult life.
00:04:06
Speaker
And so it's important as an individual is learning how to become a leader. There also needs to be grace. There needs to be a lot of grace. I'm so thankful that I had people in my life that taught me how to be a leader.
00:04:18
Speaker
You don't. Yeah, I went to school. Yeah, I went to college. Yeah, I'm in grad school right now. I'm in college again. But nothing beats, you know, education other than real life experience on man,
00:04:34
Speaker
failing and getting back up and trying again. And i I had a lot of help. I used to work for this organization in Los Angeles and it was my first real advocacy job. I was young and also wasn't ready.
00:04:50
Speaker
You know, I wasn't being
Personal Integrity and Accountability
00:04:51
Speaker
exploited. ah i wasn't committing crimes, but I was still thugging it. I was still thugging. And when I tell you that, you know, I still was partying on the weekends and then going to tell kids at the high school, you know, don't live like that. Live a drug-free life and probably still smoking marijuana at the time. So I lived a very hypocritical lifestyle and I wasn't living with integrity, ultimately. I wasn't living with integrity.
00:05:16
Speaker
And I can now say that. I can say that now um because I can be transparent about how it also works. Affected my work. I also wasn't really good at communicating.
00:05:27
Speaker
You know, I'd had when I worked at an organization, i had a I was in a toxic relationship, a very toxic relationship. But I was toxic as well. I didn't do a lot of healing on myself. And sometimes I would be late.
00:05:40
Speaker
I would prioritize sitting in the car arguing rather than going into work and clocking in calling off because I need a mental break because I just had a huge fight.
00:05:50
Speaker
And any other employer probably would have fired me. But there was grace given. There was something to be taught. And luckily, I had a great boss. I had a great supervisor that would talk to me about accountability and see how I'm doing, check in with me. And they they actually didn't enable me.
00:06:12
Speaker
You know, there was consequences to things. But I think for me and my personality, for me, I'll condemn myself. So and I think because that was taught very early on to learn how to take accountability, um my leadership set, my leadership skills really developed and still being developed in the dark.
00:06:31
Speaker
I remember I was 15 years old and I used to be at this group home and I had a probation officer who's now also we do work together sometimes and speak in events when we share our story. But the first lesson that she taught me was accountability. you know I used to be a kid in my personal experience growing up in the group home and I would like trash the place, man. I was i was a wreck. I would cuss people out. I would trash the group home, fight, just do a lot.
00:07:01
Speaker
And I had this probation officer, her name was Terika Woolfolk, and she told me, every time you do something, I want you to call me first before the staff would call. And most of the time the staff would get frustrated because they would be like, well, we need to tell you our side.
00:07:15
Speaker
One, what she did was she established trust. Two, she gave me an opportunity take accountability. And she would ask me what happened. And i would tell her I trashed the place, I broke the window, tried to bust the lady's car window.
00:07:30
Speaker
was like, what happened? Well, I had a phone call with my mom. She didn't want to talk to me. And at the time, I was still in the group home. And she was like, so you slammed the phone.
00:07:41
Speaker
You tore up the cottage because you were angry. What were you feeling? Do you know what you were feeling? I was like, yeah, I was mad. And she would gently be like, Ori, now how could you have responded differently? What could have you?
00:07:52
Speaker
What else could you have done? Could have called my support team. had other options available. It was wrong that I said those things to that lady because she do care about me.
00:08:05
Speaker
Something so small, a skill so small, taught me that the day that I left care one day um legally, like illegally, I was on the run. They would call it that then. We don't call it that now. We call it leaving care.
00:08:18
Speaker
But I had like AWOLs. We don't call it that now. But And she told me, call me even when you're out there so I know you're okay. And you know what it did every time I called?
00:08:28
Speaker
It taught me how to be accountable of a decision that I was getting ready to make. And that led on to my adult life. And so I was a lot more open to criticism. I was a lot more open to a being challenged to be better.
00:08:43
Speaker
But there were places that gave me opportunities. I can go as far back as when I had my first job. I'll never forget because I had an advocate. you know I had a mentor. I had Jim who knew some guy, ah the owner of the Denny's, and they gave me my job.
00:08:58
Speaker
you know, at Denny's as a waitress, because he knew I wasn't ready to be in school. And I started working and I learned skills there. You know, I learned how to really, it was the simple things that I had to be retaught because so much of my childhood and other individuals' childhood gets stripped from them and responsibility, natural, normal responsibility gets stripped from us.
00:09:19
Speaker
And so because of the people in my life that showed grace, that actually gave me a skill, actually walked with me while I was learning that skill, learning how to communicate, learning how to steward my money, learning how to create a budget, learning how to look at numbers, learning how to not react in a business meeting because I'm passionate about something and I don't like their solution, learning how to write that out I had people that walked me through that.
00:09:52
Speaker
But I also had people that gave me consequences. And that was different. It didn't necessarily relate to the business end of it. But learning how to be a better leader, I'll never forget when I lived with a couple that are
Learning from Supportive Relationships
00:10:07
Speaker
like my grandparents. I just was with them literally a couple of days ago.
00:10:10
Speaker
And I had Jim had my one of my mentors had gotten me an opportunity to go to Africa. And before I came back to Africa, I was telling my mentor, I don't want to go back to another transitional living home for like young adults. I don't want to go.
00:10:22
Speaker
i want to I want a family. i was 18 years old and he reached out to this couple that I had knew throughout my childhood. And he said, you know, Ori doesn't want to go back.
00:10:33
Speaker
Would you guys be open to taking her in and really? cultivating this family for her and they prayed about it and they actually let me in a house and it's crazy because it's unlikely that this girl from where I'm from moved all the way to San Juan Capistrano in Orange County in this gated community pool in the backyard nice house sunset every night you could see and there I had to learn how to be a granddaughter And I had to learn what it was like to sit at a table for dinner. I had never had that.
00:11:04
Speaker
I had to learn what it was like, like, y'all want to play board games? Absolutely not. I had to learn those things. But the reason why I'm sharing this with you all was because also had to learn what structure looked like again.
00:11:15
Speaker
And I bring this up because there was a consequence. I'll never forget it was on... New Year's Eve, I wanted to go out and hang out with an unhealthy relationship that also cost me a healthy relationship.
00:11:28
Speaker
And lied to my grandparents and said I was working that night because they said they didn't want me traveling in the car way to L.A. from San Juan Capistrano. Like, there's drunk drivers out there. People could be drinking. I'm rephrased.
00:11:39
Speaker
There's people that could be drinking. You could get hurt. Anything could happen. We don't want you out that late. And I chose to be like, I'm going to lie. And I'm going to go anyway. Even though I'm 18, I'm still under their roof.
00:11:51
Speaker
And the reason why they had that, not necessarily a rule, but a boundary was because they were concerned for my safety. And I lied and said, why don't we work anyway? They came up there to visit me while I was working because they I don't know if they felt bad or they just felt like, let's go support her. You know, we know this one. And I wasn't there.
00:12:11
Speaker
Didn't answer the phone. I took a lot of money on my account because I was probably out partying that night. And they prayed about the decision. I came back home the next day, and I didn't answer their phones, too, so they up all night worrying, stressed out.
00:12:26
Speaker
My grandpa looked at my account. He's seen all this money gone. He don't know if something has happened to me. Mind you, they're not from my world. They've never lived my life, so they're concerned, as genuine, healthy people would be.
00:12:38
Speaker
And i was asked to have a time frame that it was time for me to get my own place. Yep. And somebody else could say, well, they put you out or, you know, they they didn't give you a chance. No, they did.
00:12:50
Speaker
They gave me multiple of chances. Taught me how to budget. Brought me back to my relationship with the Lord. Showed me what love looked like, what gentleness looked like, what consistency looked like. Taught me self-discipline. And the reality was it was one area that I wasn't ready to grow in, you know, and that was following...
00:13:07
Speaker
rules again in my life because I had this false sense of freedom throughout my life but I'll tell you something when I moved out it forced me every single day I used to drive all the way from deep in South LA all the way to San Juan Capistrano past San Juan Capistrano in order like an hour and 40 minute drive every single day traffic sometimes two three hours um late at night And I went to go work at my job still.
00:13:32
Speaker
I was working at Buffalo Wild Wings at the time. And I would drive all the way back every single day. And I saved all my checks. And I got an apartment. But it taught me a valuable lesson, though. And it wasn't about the lion. It wasn't about breaking a rule.
00:13:44
Speaker
But it taught me to take accountability. And so that's the first thing as a leader. You know, this is such ah a big topic, I think, that in the field of human trafficking, because one, there is a lot of organizations, a lot of companies that lack the resources or choose not to use the funding to hire survivors of human trafficking, which I would highly encourage. But I also encourage to connecting them with a mentor, connecting them with an agency that walk and walk alongside them, kind of like a.
00:14:10
Speaker
a third party that would prepare them. There's organizations like Elevate Academy that prepares survivors of human trafficking with kind of like the certification in the classes. um And it's an online academy that could provide them and equip them with the necessary tools and resources and skills to prepare them for the workforce.
Empowering Survivors for Leadership Roles
00:14:28
Speaker
I recently found out about another development um that happens also in Florida that had a grant that is providing them with credit like the um the money in order to go back to college.
00:14:41
Speaker
And so sometimes it's providing somebody with a skill or partnering with an agency that could walk alongside them in order to really prepare them for ah job, that a field that they want to be in.
00:14:53
Speaker
Everybody's not going to be a speaker. Everybody's not going to do a podcast. um Everybody doesn't need to be a trainer and everybody doesn't need to work in nonprofit organizations. organizations in order to make a meaningful impact. Many of the individuals that i know in my life are doctors now, they're lawyers, estheticians, veterinarians. They have all different type of careers, but somebody did give them an opportunity and a chance to learn how to be a good leader.
00:15:18
Speaker
And so for the individuals, if you're already in this field, um live your life with integrity. Be willing to to learn, be willing to to be challenged, be willing to keep learning and keep growing.
00:15:31
Speaker
Work on yourself first. Don't do it backwards like I did. Jump right into this field and you do more damage and harm than good because I was still trying to figure myself out as a young 18 year old.
00:15:45
Speaker
Could I have done small things? Could I have advised on certain councils? Absolutely. But direct service work, write out the life? Absolutely not. Take care of yourself. I know you want to change the world and you will. I know you want to change lives and you will.
00:15:59
Speaker
But take the time to heal. Take the time to love you. Take the time to re-explore. Find out what you like. Find out what you don't like. Go to school or take get a trade. Just live life.
00:16:12
Speaker
Don't wrap your experience around making, oh of how you make money right away. It'll come to you. I'm in a space that am now and things have gotten much clearer. They've gotten much clearer. I knew that, you know, I wanted to impact people's life.
00:16:30
Speaker
I knew that I had a gift of speaking, but ah I didn't really think that I was qualified to be a leader. But guess what? I'm a leader in my own way with how i train people, how I equip people.
00:16:42
Speaker
um So live your life with integrity. Make sure that you're healing. Make sure that you get in a community. Wrap yourself around individuals that are really living out their life and they produce fruit, good fruit, patience, kindness, joy, so self-control. And when I say that, I'm i'm serious.
00:17:06
Speaker
people that are meek, people that speak with gentleness. Because so much of our lives as survivors, we've we've had enough rough. We have. And we don't have to be strong. We should be able to be in environments that are safe, that are vulnerable.
00:17:19
Speaker
But you have to do the work on yourself first. The next thing is also make sure that you're taking care of your family, your child, even if it was by a trafficker, even if it wasn't in the best. Get that in order first, man.
00:17:30
Speaker
Take care of your family first because... Companies, organizations, they care about you, but you can't be replaced. Take care of you first. Do your blind, make sure that you're doing a SWOT analysis. What are what are my strengths? What are my weaknesses? What are my opportunities?
00:17:46
Speaker
What are my challenges?
Continuous Growth in Leadership
00:17:48
Speaker
What are things that I can grow in? Do self-assessments. Do whatever you can to keep growing, not just healing, but growing. Read, learn. Your experience is not the end, and it's not the only experience.
00:18:01
Speaker
And as I'm sharing all of this, if you are a nonprofit organization, if you are a company, um these are things that can be embedded in the hiring process. you know Sharing curriculums, having that a part of their training,
00:18:16
Speaker
to to learn those things, to implement that in their life, making it your core values, especially with people with lived experience. I think another thing, and what makes a great leader is consistency, consistency, discipline.
00:18:33
Speaker
You have to have discipline in your own life. That is an area I am learning to do because my ADHD be kicking in. But that's not an excuse. I have to be disciplined in my health.
00:18:44
Speaker
And that's an area where I'm lacking because I choose with my finances to eat somewhere or ah eat out or um eat unhealthy. And guess what? It's going to cost me my life.
00:18:55
Speaker
And I'm being transparent. I'm being vulnerable. Like that's the area of weakness for me. Another area of weakness for me is my tone. Being a great leader is knowing how to speak to people. So it's a lot to be a leader. It's a lot to become a leader.
00:19:09
Speaker
um But like I said, you know, making sure that you have a healthy community. If you don't have one, go find one. They're out there. I promise you they are.
Cultivating Healthy Leadership
00:19:19
Speaker
Making sure that you're living your life with integrity.
00:19:22
Speaker
Making sure that you are under some authority because that's how humility is practiced, actually lived out. Making sure that you're working on yourself, you're taking care of yourself with your wellness.
00:19:33
Speaker
You are going to therapy. I don't care what kind of therapy, you're going to therapy. Making sure um that you're consistently learning, you're consistently growing, and...
00:19:45
Speaker
Be open to new experiences. Be open to learning a different skill set. That's how you become a healthy leader. That's how you become a good leader. And that's how you finish well. And that's how you don't burn out.
00:19:56
Speaker
That's how you can finish well when it's time to pass the baton. You got this. And we can do this. We can help raise leaders. I'm raising a leader in my household, my diva.
00:20:07
Speaker
You know, we can do this. Our teams that we have, we can cultivate a safe space, but also an environment that teaches people how to really thrive and walk in freedom, true freedom.
Conclusion and Future Discussions
00:20:17
Speaker
All right, y'all, I will see you next time on the Trafficking Free America podcast.
00:20:24
Speaker
And talk to you soon.