00:00:00
00:00:01
John Amos's Drama, Tina Peters Scandal, & Healing Childhood Trauma
17 Plays1 day ago
In this episode of Unsolicited Perspectives, Bruce Anthony dives into a mix of family drama, political fallout, and personal growth. He starts by exploring the tragic passing of legendary actor John Amos, unraveling the controversy around the delayed announcement of his death and whispers of potential elder abuse.
Next, Bruce turns his attention to the political scandal of Tina Peters, the former county clerk sentenced for breaching election data. He provides a sharp critique of the dangers of blindly following political falsehoods, particularly in the Trump era.
On a more personal note, Bruce delves into the deep, lasting effects of unresolved childhood trauma, highlighting how it influences personal development, parenting, and relationships. He emphasizes the importance of therapy and confronting past issues to maintain emotional health. Bruce also shares his own experience of giving blunt advice to friends, offering listeners an engaging mix of candid insights and personal reflections. #johnamos #TinaPeters #childhoodtrauma #mentalhealth #unsolicitedperspectives
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Thank you for tuning into Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Let's continue the conversation in the comments and remember, stay engaged, stay informed, and always keep an open mind. See you in the next episode!
Chapters:
00:00 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives
00:57 Celebrity Losses and Family Drama
10:06 The Controversial Case of Tina Peters
18:49 Understanding Childhood Trauma
36:58 The Importance of Diverse Perspectives
37:56 Therapy vs. Public Opinion
38:55 Generational Trauma and Parenting
40:38 Impact of Childhood Trauma on Parenting
42:48 The Complexity of Emotions in Children
43:25 Overprotection and Its Consequences
47:30 Trust Issues and Parenting Challenges
50:42 Blunt Advice and Personal Stories
01:03:33 The Importance of Self-Reflection
01:04:18 Closing Remarks and Call to Action
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Transcript
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics that are shaped for today's society. Join the conversation to follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch our video podcasts. Rate, review, like, comment, share, share with your friends, share with your family, help, even share with your enemies.
00:00:34
Speaker
On today's episode, I'll be doing another segment of ripped from the headlines. Then I'll be talking about childhood trauma. Then I'll be talking about why you should never come to me for advice because I'm going to be real blunt. But that's enough for the intro. Let's get to the show.
00:00:57
Speaker
As I get older, we are starting to lose our entertainers, people that we looked up to admire either their artwork or for their academic work, what have you. As I get older, we're starting to lose them and we're losing them at a rapid pace. Just last week, we lost James Earl Jones.
00:01:16
Speaker
And then it was announced earlier this week that we lost John Amos. John Amos, you guys might know, is the father from Good Times. He was the older Kunta Kinte in Roots. He was Mr. McDowell in Coming to America. He was also one of the police officers in the movie that I like to call the Players Club.
00:01:37
Speaker
No, that's what it's called. I don't like to call it, I call it that because that's what it's called. But anyway, there's been a lot of stuff. He was in Sweet sweete ah Sweet, Sweet Sweetback's Badass Song, remember one of the first black exploitation movies, a famous actor. And it was announced this week that he passed away and he died from congestive heart failure. It was announced this week. However, he actually died August 21st this year. So, a little bit of the backstory. There was a delay in announcing John Amos' death due to family controversies and communication issues. His son, Kelly Christopher, also known as Casey, almost, announced the death on October 1st, 2024, nearly two months after John Amos passed away, on August 21st, 2024. This delay led to some family disputes as his daughter, Shannon, almost claimed that she only learned about her father's death through media reports. Okay. Okay. Look, me and my brother and sister have issues from time to time. But if either one of our parents passed away,
00:02:50
Speaker
we would let the other one know immediately. Now, John Amos' is kids was out here being petty and not letting them know when their daddy passed. And what's crazy about him, he's such a famous actor and has been in so many important stuff, they didn't let the world know for almost two months.
00:03:17
Speaker
I don't know, as Bernie Mac would say, that is quite easy to me, but there's more to the story, so let me get to it. The situation obviously has raised some concerns and questions about the circumstances surrounding his passing and this and the family's communication during this difficult time. Here's where it gets interesting. Prior to his death, there were allegations of elder abuse but and financial exploitation.
00:03:40
Speaker
and Shannon almost had previously launched a GoFundMe campaign alleging that her father was a victim of elder abuse. The same Shannon who found out her father passed away when her brother KC announced October 1st that their dad had passed away from heart failure. you know The only problem was, once again, I reiterate John Amos died August 21st. She had no idea her daddy was dead and she had previously brought up elder abuse. Going to a GoFundMe to raise money because supposedly John Amos was broke.
00:04:29
Speaker
Okay, all of this is coming together, leading to more and more questions and controversies. A friend had to bring this up to me. I was just sad that Darryl McDowell, from coming to America, had passed away. The colonel from West Wing had passed away. Kunta Kente,
00:04:51
Speaker
had passed away when he raised up Kizzy and said, Kizzy, behold, that's what I was mourning, only to find out that he passed away when I was in Atlanta partying up with my sister. We was partying, not knowing the Giants had passed away. The reason why we didn't know is because his certain KC wasn't letting people know. Shannon Amos, the other family and other family members have not ruled out the possibility of foul play.
00:05:20
Speaker
They have raised concerns about the conditions surrounding the final days and the fact that he was cremated, which they fear might have been done to avoid any potential investigation. I'm gonna just run through this once again, because I don't know if y'all are really hearing me. A famous actor passes away. Nobody announces that he passed away until six weeks after he passed away.
00:05:49
Speaker
Before he passed away even in August, his daughter was trying to do a GoFundMe to raise money for him and his health issues. And throughout that there might be some elder abuse, because why is her daddy broke? That don't make no sense.
00:06:12
Speaker
Not only do they not, Casey, we talk about Casey, his son, not only does Casey not let people know that his daddy passed away six weeks ago, six weeks ago, he also cremated the body.
00:06:32
Speaker
Now, ah some of y'all got siblings out there. And a sibling relationship is always really interested. You grow up in an environment where you guys are absolutely growing up together. You're in the same household most of the time, sometimes you're not. But let's just say that you you grow up in dynamics knowing each other growing up together, right? And things happen. You know, me and my siblings have had beef. And know contrary to what people believe, there were times where me and my sisters didn't really get along.
00:07:07
Speaker
We get along great now, but there were times where she was absolutely disgusted at me and didn't want to even have anything to do with me. These things happen, but no matter how bad a situation might have been between us, if our parents had died, they would have we would have let each other know about it. So it just it's crazy scenario to think about.
00:07:34
Speaker
that this man didn't let his siblings know and that Shannon found out that her father passed away because it was announced online in the news. That's how you find out. So let's let's take the fact that, okay, they got beef. Let's take away the fact that he passed away six weeks prior, okay?
00:08:03
Speaker
What if you found out that your daddy or your mama, your pappy or your mammy, passed away through the news? Now, this is not something that that hasn't happened before. you know You got your TMCs, outlets like that, your entertainment, it used to be an at entertainment tonight, outlets like that, that would learn firsthand about a celebrity passing away.
00:08:28
Speaker
and kind of let the world know and their loved ones would know when the world knew. But that's crazy. That is crazy. That's tough to e and even fathom. But sometimes that happens, right? But that shouldn't happen because your brother decided that he wasn't going to tell you that your daddy passed away. Shannon got legitimate beef.
00:08:58
Speaker
You know, ah this was brought to my attention from one of my conspiracy theory friends. However, when you look at all of the factors that are surrounding this story,
00:09:12
Speaker
and the fact that he postponed letting anybody know, even the world know for six weeks, and cremated the body, and there was already a pre-accusation before any of this happened of elder abuse. And now there can't really be any true investigation, because there is no body. You know, Casey seemed like he'd doing some he was doing something real shady.
00:09:38
Speaker
And I'm sorry, I'm trying to look at it from his perspective and I just can't. I don't understand it. ah It looks real shady. And let me tell you, Darryl McDowell, Kunta Kente, James Evans deserved a better send off than what he got.
00:09:58
Speaker
But speaking of send-offs, I'm not done from rich from the headlines. I want to talk about Tina Peters. I bet you're asking yourself, who the hell is Tina Peters, Bruce? Don't worry. I'm going to tell you who the hell Tina Peters is. So Tina Peters is the former Mesa County clerk in Colorado. She was recently sentenced to nine years in prison She was convicted on multiple counts, including attempted to influence a public servant, conspiracy to commit criminal impersonation, first degree official misconduct, violation of duty, and failure to comply with Colorado Secretary of State. And I bet you're all wondering, Bruce, still, I don't understand who the hell Tina Peters is. And why are you telling me about Tina Peters?
00:10:47
Speaker
Don't worry, because I'm about to break that down right now. The charges stem from her involvement in a scheme to breach voting system data in her county. Peters allowed unauthorized access to the county's election system and deceived officials about the identity of the person accessing that data. The individual was an affiliate with Mike Lindell, a prominent promoter of false claims about the 2020 election.
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah, debts that's who Tina Peters is. Tina Peters was a county clerk that was trying to manipulate the election, gave people access to the voting machines that were not supposed to have access, pretended that she was somebody else to cover up her crimes, and got caught.
00:11:42
Speaker
This is a person that's going to jail for nine years, all based on the big lie. You think Trump's going to pardon her? You think it was worth it?
00:11:55
Speaker
You think she thinks it was worth it? I'm glad you i'm glad you asked that question, because I'm going to answer it right now by notes from the court proceedings. During her sentencing, Peter showed no remorse and continued to defend her actions, which the judge noted as a significant factor in her sentencing. The case has been a high profile example of the consequences of tampering with the election process. So, okay, hold on.
00:12:25
Speaker
That's what Trump and some of his acolytes have been saying for the long time that there was election interference, right? That people were tampering with the election, that it caused him to lose. Wait a minute, hold on. It caused him to lose? The people that were tampering an election overwhelmingly were his people. And he's still lost. And for their loyalty,
00:12:51
Speaker
like Tina Peters, like many of the January Sixers, they're in jail. You know where Trump is? Eat McDonald's sitting on this gold toilet. He's gonna be all right. This whole idea that he's going to jail, that man ain't going under to jail. That man might be reelected to president. And all the people that have bent over backwards, that that have tried to prop up his big lie,
00:13:20
Speaker
Jail time. Jail is for real. yeah Hey, look, let me tell y'all something. I'm grown. I'm grown. I don't want to go to jail. There's certain things about my life that I'm very particular about. You know, my food is one thing. I'm very particular about my nutrition and my diet. I'm very particular about my bathroom. I've discussed my bathroom situation before on the show. I got to have a bidet. I don't feel right if I don't have a bidet.
00:13:48
Speaker
Got to have me a bidet, got to have me some wet wipes. You know, got to have me a clean toilet, a clean tub, a clean shower, a clean sink, a clean floor to the bathroom. I tell you what I damn sure don't want, that's my sink <unk> attached to my toilet and that's what you get in jail. I don't want that. That's not the life that I want to live.
00:14:11
Speaker
So there is no amount of politician that I'm gonna ride for so hard that I'm gonna put myself in that predicament. I can deal with being by myself. I actually enjoy being by myself.
00:14:28
Speaker
and I don't know if I'd be able to deal there with sleeping on a twin bed. I have a queen size bed and that barely fits me because I like to move around when I sleep, but that's a different story. I need my special thread sheet count and I need my multiple pillows to build my to build my little fort so that I can sleep properly and be surrounded. I'm not going to prison. It's not a whole bunch of things that I'll actually go to prison for. That isn't my fault.
00:14:54
Speaker
Like, I can't be enticed to do something that could lead me to go to prison. I've done things in my life that could have led me to go to prison. You know, drinking and driving things and things that's such. I could easily go to prison. I don't want to go to prison. I'm not going to voluntarily break the law based on a lie. And here's the crazy thing.
00:15:15
Speaker
As Tina Peeters is being prosecuted, as she's in the court case, as she's trying to defend herself, at least most time defendants start to lock to get a lenient sentence. No, she's being defiant to the bitter end and says she would do it all over again. And that's what caused her to get an even more longer sentence that she would have got if she had just been just slightly a little, a smidge contrite.
00:15:47
Speaker
Hey, look, let me tell y'all something. I was telling somebody earlier today, the Republican party is not the Republican party anymore. It's the party of Trump. Everybody, every Republican that had been an established Republican that has gone against Trump has disappeared.
00:16:08
Speaker
They're out of the Republican Party. Liz Cheney, do not agree with her politics. Not a fan of her as a ah ah as a oppos and and and as pertaining to her politics. I'm not a fan of her. I don't know her as a person, so I don't know if I would be a fan or not. You can only know somebody a little bit through the news, so I'm not going to judge her as a person. I do not agree with her politics.
00:16:30
Speaker
She don't look like the type of person I'd want to have shots of tequila with. She don't now't look like that's her get-down. She was a legacy in the Republican Party. She didn't believe the big lie. She's out of the Republican Party. The only person that's in a Republican Party that's from the old guard of Republicans that hasn't fallen to Trumpism is Mitt Romney. And I think that's just because he is such a ah locked-in figure in his and his area ah that, you know,
00:17:00
Speaker
He could, no, they're not gonna fall a victim. His supporters are not gonna fall a victim to Trumpism. um Everybody else, falling a victim to Trumpism. And what does Trumpism get really give them people? You know, when you think about it, what does it really give? It gives you false bravado, because he gives he gives you a lot of false bravado. Okay, you know, hey, I like Superman. Superman gives me false bravado. He's not a real character.
00:17:25
Speaker
He's not a real person. And I know what you're saying, well, Trump is a real person. man his His personality is not real. That's that's false bravado. There's a difference between people talking tough and being tough. He's not tough. He talks tough, but he's not tough. Typically, the loudest people in the room are the weakest people in the room. And he is the loudest person that I have ever seen in a room. That lets me know that he's pretty weak.
00:17:54
Speaker
Easily manipulated because he's not that bright. He thinks he's bright. Nothing worse than a person that thinks they're smarter than they actually are. He's one of those people. And Tina Peters is paying the price for it. Okay. Hey, look, all y'all people out there, that's Rod for Trump. God bless you, you know. And when ah when it's all said and done and you're as on those final roads of wherever that road leads you to Trumpism, I'm not even gonna say I told you so.
00:18:24
Speaker
I'm just going to look at you, shake my head and walk off because your dumb ass should have known better. And that's just ripped from the headlines. Rest in peace, John Remos, kunta kente, Mr. McDowell.
00:18:41
Speaker
are I was with my bestie this weekend and we were watching the This Big Man documentary, Having Snacks. I talked about it on a sibling happy hour, having snacks, having a good time. And as I'm watching this documentary, I'm not going to get into the specifics of the documentary. There's a million and one podcasts and TV shows and talking about it. If y'all want me to get into the details, hey, shoot me an email, shoot me a message. I'll do a whole show about
00:19:14
Speaker
Vincent Kennedy and McMahon and what I learned from this documentary. But one of the major takeaways that I i got from this documentary is how much childhood trauma Vince McMahon had. To give you a quick synopsis of his history, he grew up in rural North Carolina. ah Poor man.
00:19:33
Speaker
was, didn't know who his real father was, or his real father didn't come into a into the picture until he was 12 years old. Up until he was 12 years old, he was raised by a stepfather. They were poor. His stepfather used to beat the hell out of him. There was some insinuation that his mother sexually assaulted him. You know, they hinted at incest.
00:20:00
Speaker
And so at 12, Vince's biological father, Vincent e ken vincent Kennedy McMahon Sr., comes into his life, starts introducing Vince to New York.
00:20:15
Speaker
upscale living because his father was a wrestling promoter and he wanted nothing much more than to be like his biological father. Here's the problem with his biological father. Everything that he did, everything that Vince McMahon Jr. ever did was not good enough for his biological father. Never gave him a compliment. Never really even said, I love you. He only told Vince Jr., the owner,
00:20:46
Speaker
former owner of WWE. He only told Vince Jr. that he loved him the day before Vincent Sr. died. Vince Jr. says in the documentary that that was the greatest day in his life because he finally got love from his father.
00:21:05
Speaker
And I was just thinking to to myself, because Vince McMahon is wrapped up in a lot of controversy right now, a lot of controversy. Sexual assault allegations, you know, he's had multiple allegations of ah ah of abusive working conditions throughout his tenure as the owner and creator and leader of World Wrestling Entertainment now, but what many of you people out there are known as World Wrestling Federation.
00:21:32
Speaker
And in that documentary, it also showed his relationship to his kids. And I'll get into that a little bit later. But what I realized by watching it is that Vincent K. Junior has a lot of childhood trauma. And the way he deals with it, because I was asked in the documentary, you know, how do you deal with all the stuff that happened in your past? He was like, it's the past. You just forget about it and move on.
00:21:59
Speaker
And I know that that's not a real thing. There are going to be people out there that are going to be specifically men, specifically men. But one of my ex-girlfriends had something really, really traumatic happen to her. And she said, well, I just, you know, just move on. I just don't think about it. And I was like, but you haven't moved on. Because there are issues that go on between me and you that I know are directly related to this.
00:22:25
Speaker
And I don't have nothing like I didn't do anything wrong is because you haven't healed that trauma. And so I'm looking at this documentary and Vince has not dealt with this childhood trauma, will not acknowledge it, and it it has affected him throughout his entire life.
00:22:46
Speaker
This is a topic I talk about a lot. Oftentimes when you guys are listening and watching the show, me and my sister will shout out childhood trauma, you know because we know through therapy, because we we are either been in therapy or currently in therapy. Therapy is important. ah they being Going to therapy doesn't make you weak. Going to therapy makes you stronger because you're addressing the things that are hindering you from being the best person that you are.
00:23:14
Speaker
If you think that you're the best person that you are, you're not. You can be better. And dealing with past traumas can help you be better. But watching this documentary, I was saying, okay, he wasn't dealing with his past trauma, and a lot of people out there do not deal with their past trauma. More specifically, childhood trauma, because childhood trauma shapes our adulthood. So what did I do? I went into psychology books, Psychology Today, Mental Health Online, Mental Health Today, and I and i drew up a basic outline, and I'm going to present to you
00:23:53
Speaker
variations of childhood trauma, how they can affect you in adulthood, and more importantly, going back to the documentary, speaking and talking about Vincent Kennedy the man, but also some of my friends that have kids or people out there that have kids that haven't dealt with their childhood trauma, how did that affects you in parenting. This is a PSA for a lot of adults. I've dated a lot of women.
00:24:20
Speaker
I have a lot of friends. Because I've had therapy, I can see signs and people of their reactions to certain situations and say, that we your reaction to this is not about this. It has to do with something else.
00:24:38
Speaker
and nine times out of 10 is childhood trauma. So childhood trauma refers to to a scary, dangerous, violent, or life-threatening event that happens to a child, which is basically zero from birth to 18 years of age. This type of event may it also happen to someone the child knows, and the child is impacted as a result of seeing or hearing about the other person being hurt or injured. Traumatic events can include psychological, physical, or sexual abuse, community or school violence, witnessing or experiencing domestic violence, natural disasters or terrorism, commercial sexual exploitation,
00:25:25
Speaker
sudden or violent loss of a loved one, refugee or war experiences, military family-related stressors, i.e. diploma, ah parental loss or injury, physical or sexual assault, neglect, serious accidents or life-threatening illnesses. These experiences can leave lasting mental and physical effects on the child, impacting their daily lives and their development.
00:25:58
Speaker
Let me repeat that. These experience can leave lasting mental and physical effects on a child impacting their daily lives and their development. Recognizing the signs of traumatic stress and providing appropriate support is crucial for helping children cope and heal. All right, let's take you guys personally out of their equation. Some of you people are like that are listening and watching are parents,
00:26:28
Speaker
aunts, uncles, cousins, brothers, sisters of people that you know have experienced all one or maybe even all of those things. If it hinders your development as a person and it's never addressed, how could you possibly be a well-adjusted human being?
00:26:59
Speaker
But, okay, y'all can say to me, but Bruce, you know, I feel like I'm pretty well adjusted even though I had those childhood traumas. I'm living my life just, as just well. Okay, all right. Well, childhood trauma can have a profound and lasting effect on a person's mental health well into adulthood.
00:27:20
Speaker
Here are just a few key points. I'm gonna give you six of them, okay? Point number one, increased risk of mental health disorders. Adults who experience childhood trauma are at a higher risk of developing mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, and substance abuse disorders. Okay, how many people out there have a friend a family member, a loved one, or even them to self. I have depression and anxiety. You think that just comes from nowhere? You think, oh, my life is just depressing and anxious. I'm just anxious all the time. Well, that that can be true, right? Because look, life out here is hard. It's hard out here for a pimp. Life out here is hard.
00:28:12
Speaker
But a lot of times, especially with depression and anxiety, as some of it is biological, there is absolutely chemical imbalances, but it can be enhanced, those chemical imbalances, due to trauma. All these things can lead to issues in adulthood.
00:28:34
Speaker
Another one, emotional dysregulation. Trauma can lead to difficulties in managing emotions, resulting in mood disorders, including bipolar disorder and major depression. Not just depression, but major depression. And there is levels to depression and anxiety, right? I have generalized anxiety. My brother and sister have a different form of anxiety that needs to be, well,
00:28:57
Speaker
They say that maybe I need to be medicated as well. I don't know. Until you know a therapist says, we need to put you on medication. but I'm not going to go on on medication. I think I cope pretty well. But let me tell you, I have a lot of these issues that they talk about increased mental health disorders. I got that anxiety. I have it severely. I have depression. And I be drinking, y'all.
00:29:23
Speaker
I be drinking. Now, I've learned that drinking is due to boredom. But why am I so bored all the time? Why is that? I'm in therapy trying to figure all of that out myself. But not only can it lead to major depression, individuals may also experience heightened anxiety, social anxiety, and and ah obsessive compulsion disorders.
00:29:47
Speaker
Look, it doesn't just affect you mentally and emotionally and it can affect you physically. Chronic pain and physical health issues. There is a strong link between childhood trauma and chronic pain conditions.
00:30:02
Speaker
headaches, get ah gastrointestinal problems, stomach issues, trauma can lead to permanent changes in the central nervous system, making individuals more vulnerable to physical health problems. Look, let me tell you all something right now. I know for a fact, my anxiety messes up my stomach. My stomach is always jacked up. It is always, you know how you're just chilling and you're kicking it and your stomach makes noises? I have been in the house when somebody else is in the house. When you buy yourself, you just get used to the noises. they don't even You don't even think about it.
00:30:37
Speaker
I've been in my house and somebody else has been in my house saying, you good? Like, what the hell you talking about? Am I argu good? Your stomach is rumbling. Are you hungry? No, I just say I'm not hungry. What's going on? I don't know. It's my anxiety. My anxiety is permeating through my body, creating problems like people that get stiff necks. When you get a stiff neck and you pull something in your neck, that's because you're carrying tension in your traps.
00:31:01
Speaker
It's not actually in neck, it's your traps. Your traps are connected to your neck, but it's not actually in neck, it's your trap, right? You're creating tension in there and it's caused something to lock up. Stress!
00:31:13
Speaker
related to childhood trauma, just letting you all know. oh What can it do in relationships? It could create attachment and relationship issues. Trauma can affect a person's ability to form healthy relationships. Adults with history of childhood trauma may struggle with trust, experience toxic relation toxic romantic relationships, and have difficulties in maintaining friendships. Now,
00:31:38
Speaker
I will say that I do have problems in relationships. I don't know if it's due to my childhood trauma, but maybe. Partly it was when I was younger, I was really selfish. But I do absolutely have trust issues. And I do experience toxic relationships with people that aren't necessarily toxic. Just the relationship can become toxic. And I think it's anxiety fills the relationship that creates these
00:32:05
Speaker
Scenarios where people act outside of themselves, childhood trauma. increased risk of chronic illness. Childhood trauma is associated with a higher risk of developing chronic illnesses like diabetes, heart disease, and obesity later in life. So this all kind of makes sense. If you're de depressed and anxious, most of the time that leads to eating poorly, not working out because you're not motivated to get out there and do it, which means that you're going to eat bad, get diabetes, get heart disease, and kill over and die.
00:32:38
Speaker
I mean, I'm going to the extreme here, but not really. What I'm trying to point out is by not dealing with the issues that you think, well, I moved on, I'm past it, is so many times so much time has passed.
00:32:54
Speaker
i've I don't need to deal with that anymore. That was 30 years ago. Sit with you for the rest of your life. Don't ever think by not addressing something or thinking that time, this this theory that time heals all wounds is the biggest con that there ever is. Work heals wounds. Time just doesn't heal wounds. Time makes distance, makes it feel not as painful as when you were in the moment. But that doesn't mean that that chip on your soul.
00:33:25
Speaker
that was taken away from you do that traumatic experience. Is it still there? Being creating distance from an exact can make it so the pain isn't as severe, but you didn't heal from it.
00:33:42
Speaker
Last but not least, not dealing with your childhood trauma can lead to this in adulthood. Behavioral issues. Individuals may engage in self-sabotaging behaviors like substance abuse and have a higher likelihood of suicidal thoughts. Understanding these impacts is crucial for providing appropriate support and interventions to help individuals heal from their traumatic experiences. So I just real it off,
00:34:11
Speaker
what childhood trauma is, how it can affect you in and and your adulthood. You know, there are some people that still after all of this, like Vincent Kennedy McMahon, and I know like millennials specifically and Gen Z is getting better with the fact that, you know, I got to talk about my problems. To a professional, not just to my friends, to a professional, because what it is that's going on is affecting me.
00:34:41
Speaker
And I need to deal with it so that I can have a better life. Who wants to be depressed? Who wants to be anxious? Who wants to have high diabetes? Who wants to have high blood pressure? Who wants to have chronic pain? Who wants to have physical illness? Who who wants that? So if you're going through that, there's a reason why you're going through it. You can go to the doctor.
00:35:07
Speaker
The doctor may say, I don't really know what the hell is causing and your back pain. Maybe take your ass to a therapist. I don't know. Talk about your life. There are professionals out there that's studying this, and they could break things down. Somebody to open up and talk to, and I'm not talking about your priest or your pastor. They're not trained.
00:35:34
Speaker
right, you wouldn't go to some person that on the street to go get health advice, would you? and Unless that preacher or pastor has a degree, multiple, in psychology, preferably a master's or doctorate, they can't help you except for kind of like surface level stuff, common sense stuff. To get to that real work,
00:36:00
Speaker
You got to go to a therapist. I highly recommend people out here and go to a therapist and get yourself right. And people that are listening to me talking about, man, Bruce don't know what he's talking about. You the one I'm talking about. This is all for you specifically. Because it'd be the main ones that talk about I'm just fine that don't be fine and don't want to o admit it to themselves. I'm not. ah There is nothing taken away from my manhood.
00:36:28
Speaker
nothing that anybody will challenge me on, I dare you. I dare you to challenge my manhood to my face. Say to see what I don't take from you, but they my for me inside myself.
00:36:41
Speaker
My manhood is not challenged by going to talk to somebody about my problems, a professional paying somebody to talk about my problems because I want to be better. Each day I strive to be a better person. That's the reason why I surround myself with people who think like me at a higher level and people who don't think like me so that I can learn. I want to see multiple perspectives in life so that I could be better. If you are a mechanic,
00:37:12
Speaker
And they came out with a new way to fix cars. You wouldn't at least go hear what they have to say. There was a new teaching math method, not this new math stuff. I like old math personally. But there is a new teaching method. You won't at least go see what they're talking about. You people out here constantly go to Fandango or Reddit.
00:37:35
Speaker
or or what's the other places that you can go to, I know YouTube is gonna correct me, other places you can go to to get recommendations on TV shows because other people rated it. Rotten Tomatoes, y'all people take recommendations from random strangers that you don't know before you decide to watch a television show. You can't go take recommendations from a licensed professional, somebody that has their doctorate, somebody who went to school longer than you went to school,
00:38:04
Speaker
to help you learn about yourself. Look at how stupid that sounds. Think about that. I have friends who swear up and down, hey, that show got lowly rated on Rotten Tomatoes. I'm not going to watch it. That's what you're basing it on and won't go to therapy. Well, take what the masses are saying as gospel.
00:38:28
Speaker
and and won't go find out for themselves. It's the reason why we have people like Tina Peters and the Jane Ware Sixers in jail. You've got to go search out different ways of thinking and dealing with stuff and not be so stubborn to think that you got it all figured out, even when dealing with yourself. But I brought this all up because once again, as I was watching the Vincent McMahon documentary,
00:38:59
Speaker
I saw that the relationship he had with his father is the same relationship that he had with his children. And this is a message that I'm trying to get across to a lot of parents out there. If you don't deal with your issues, you absolutely pass your issues on to your children. You think children don't know or aren't aware of what you're going through. Children are way more perceptive than parents give them credit for. It's like you become a ah parent and you completely forget what it was like being a kid. Completely forget about it. And you do the stuff that a lot of times your parents did. That's called generational trauma. You gotta break those curses.
00:39:49
Speaker
But some of y'all out there are saying, no, my issues are my issues. I'm not passing them on to my kids. Bruce, you don't know what the hell you're talking about. You don't have children. So how are you going to give me advice on how to raise children? Well, I was somebody's child once. Well, technically, I'm still somebody's child. I'm just not a child anymore. But I was somebody's child. And my parents know, because we've had these conversations, that the things, some of the things that they had that they weren't particularly happy about in their personality have been passed on to us.
00:40:20
Speaker
the three of us, me, my brother, and sister. Luckily, for the most part, we acknowledge it or we point it out in each other, and we all three of us have been in therapy, so we're working on it. But how does childhood trauma, or how can it impact a person's approach to parenting? Well, it can um impact in a variety of ways.
00:40:46
Speaker
Attachment issues. Individuals who experience trauma may struggle to form secure attachments with their children. They might find it challenging to provide the emotional so stability and security that their children need. I am not going to throw my one of my friends under the bus.
00:41:06
Speaker
But one time, one of my friends said that they connect through their child through a particular activity. That activity, my friend, the parent, really enjoyed and assumes that the child enjoys it as well. And that may absolutely be the case. The child could absolutely enjoy that activity. Another possibility is that child looks up to their parent and knows that that's a way that they could spend time with their parent and does the activity just to make a connection. Because not saying that this friend in particular, but saying in general, kids just love their parents and want to be connected to them in some ways. So kids will just, what do my parents like? I'm gonna like what my parents like, because then I can spend time with them.
00:42:04
Speaker
why don't you want to Why can you only spend time with your child when it's something that you enjoy? There's questions you got to ask yourself. Emotional regulation. Parents with a history of trauma may have difficulty managing their emotions, leading to inconsistent or unpredictable responses to their children's needs. This could create an unstable environment for their child.
00:42:30
Speaker
So a lot of people are gonna be like, well, my child doesn't have an unstable environment. There's multiple ways that you can have an unstable environment. You can have an unstable environment physically. You can have an unstable environment mentally. You can have an unstable environment emotionally. A child can feel unsafe. That's the worst feeling in the world. People people listening to this, do you ever like feeling unsafe? Children feel that way. And a lot of times they had this emotion and don't even know how to express it to their parents.
00:43:00
Speaker
Right? Emotions are complicated. Kids don't know how to express that. Watch the movies inside and inside out too. Kids don't know how to express these emotions. These emotions are complex. Hell, most of you adults don't even know how to express these emotions. That's the reason why you have emotional dysregulation.
00:43:16
Speaker
Over compensation or over protection, some parents may become overly controlling or protective in an attempt to prevent their children from experiencing similar traumas. This can hinder the child's development or independence and resilience. So, but you know, you went through ah some trauma as a child and you try to shield your child from experience in the world. ah We're seeing that a lot.
00:43:45
Speaker
especially with the banning of books. Like, I don't feel like my child should have to be addressed by this and shouldn't have to deal with this. Well, they they're out in the public, right? I mean, like I said, children are very perceptive. They can see the world. It's better to explain it, to try to give them some understanding than to shield them from it or protect them from it, because all you're doing is hampering their development as a person. And I thought the number one job ah as of a parent
00:44:16
Speaker
is to raise well-adjusted adults. I don't know. This is just what psychology and doctors and mental health providers are saying. I'm just repeating what they're saying. Sometimes, parents can reenact trauma.
00:44:35
Speaker
In times of stress, parents may unconsciously reenact patterns from their traumatic experiences, such as using harsh discipline or withdrawing emotion. Yeah, we've we've done that. Spanking is one of the most barbaric things, and it doesn't really help the child learn why they shouldn't have done what they did.
00:45:00
Speaker
Nine times out of ten, unless it's just a badass kid, nine times out of ten, you can sit down and explain to a kid why what they did was wrong. But most of the time, parents overreact because of fear of the child hurting themselves. So you overreact. You could have killed yourself. OK, yes, they're not. They didn't kill themselves. Just explain to them how they could have.
00:45:28
Speaker
try to be calm, explain to them why they shouldn't do the next thing. The worst thing that my mother ever did. And i me and her still argue about this all the time. She would say, don't do that. I would ask the very simple question, why? Not because I was being a smart ass, because I genuinely am just a curious person and I want to know why.
00:45:49
Speaker
Why shouldn't I do that? Because I said so was her response. Worst response ever. Because you know what I'm going to do? Since you're not going to tell me, I'm going to figure it out. Some children aren't like that. Some children aren't curious. And every child is different. There's no manual to raise children, right? Because you can have multiple children come from the same two people and have completely different personalities. But you got to be able to read your children, understand your children,
00:46:19
Speaker
And once again, if you got childhood trauma, you might re-enact that trauma and you don't even realize it. Hypervillages. Trauma survivors often experience hypervigilance, which can make them overly anxious about their children's safety and wellbeing. This constant state of alertness can be exhausting and affect their ability to parent effectively. I have a friend whose mother was just a hubbler.
00:46:48
Speaker
and And my friend is severely anxious all of the time. And as she told me stories of her growing up, and how her mother still calls her every morning, and if she doesn't answer at the time that she calls her, mother jumps into a panic.
00:47:05
Speaker
So that means she jumps into a panic and she misses that call from her mother. These are things that get, see, when I tell people, hey, look, you got to, you got to make sure your stuff is in order before you have kids, because you could pass this on down to them. This is the stuff that I'm talking about. Another impact in approaching Parenting when people have childhood trauma is difficulty trusting. Trauma can lead to trust issues, making it hard for parents to trust others, including their children. This can result in strained relationships and communication problems.
00:47:42
Speaker
and ah Okay, I'll tell a story. My father graduated college very early. He was 16 years old, and his birthday is also in September. So that means that he was in college, not at at 16 years old.
00:47:59
Speaker
He didn't do too well because that was a shock to his environment. He lived in a controlled environment with my grandfather being relatively terrib strict from the stories that I heard. So he didn't do too well in the college. Me being the first child of his, he immediately equated the fact that because he didn't do well, that I wouldn't do well. And that wasn't the case. I excelled in college. I excelled in being away from everybody.
00:48:29
Speaker
but he projected that on on me. he did He didn't trust himself. when he was in college, so he didn't trust me when I was in college. Me going through that made it easier for my brother and sister when they went to college. But that was a real thing. He fought me tooth and nail about the colleges that I wanted to go to. I couldn't go too far away. He would always say, you're going to flunk out. And I'm like, where are you getting this from? Like, why am I? Because he had flunked out. So he automatically didn't trust me because he didn't trust himself when he was younger. That was passed on.
00:49:02
Speaker
Postpartum depression, women who have experienced childhood trauma may be more susceptible to postpartum depression, which can affect their ability to bond with and care for their infants. So the most important thing is understanding these impacts is crucial providing support and interventions to help parents heal and develop healthier parenting practices.
00:49:26
Speaker
I just want people to be good parents out there. So as I was watching this documentary, I wondered to myself, because Vince McMahon's kids, Shane and Stephanie, have kids. He's a grandfather. And I wonder, did they correct this childhood trauma that obviously that they were faced with, with growing up with their father who had childhood trauma from his childhood, generational trauma?
00:49:53
Speaker
And I wonder what their kids are like. If you are out there and you experienced any one of those things that I listed that can cause childhood trauma, and you never dealt with it, and you think you're still good, just talk to a professional. Maybe you are, but maybe you're not. And isn't that question enough for you to go and check for yourself, especially when dealing with your kids?
00:50:24
Speaker
I don't know, just a food for thought. are Speaking of my father, I gave him a backhanded compliment the other day. On my birthday, he gave me a piece of advice that I couldn't acknowledge on my birthday. I couldn't hear it. The reason why I couldn't hear it is because of his presentation.
00:50:54
Speaker
My dad has always been very blunt. Doesn't really give advice with kid gloves. He's gotten a hell of a lot better since when I was a kid. But in this particular instance, he didn't really handle the advice with kid gloves. He just kind of gave it bluntly and matter-of-factly and I didn't receive it. I didn't receive it until actually about six weeks later when I finally saw the advice that he was trying to give me. And I went to my dad on his birthday, we were having a conversation. And I said, I want to thank you.
00:51:24
Speaker
And this thankful thank you is going to come, you're going to think it's a backhanded thank you, but it's a legitimate thank you. You gave me some advice and it was good advice. It was good advice. The reason why I didn't receive it at that time is because of the way you gave it to me.
00:51:41
Speaker
but it was good advice and I appreciate it." and He was like, yeah, I got that problem. you know Sometimes when I'm giving advice, you know I just say things and I'm like, why did I say it like that? What am I talking about? like Why would I do that? and I just say these things and I said, oh and I know the reason why because I'm the same way. He's like, well well what is it? Why do you think that is? I said, well, there you are, really intelligent. You're extremely intelligent and sometimes,
00:52:10
Speaker
you see things as something that's so obvious that you can't comprehend how another person can't understand it. So you give it blunt and matter-of-factly because you just can't comprehend it the fact that they can't comprehend it. He was like, you know, son, I think you're right. I was like, yeah, I know. Because I used to always tell my father, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.
00:52:39
Speaker
And guess what? As I've gotten older, I'm doing the exact same thing. You, you, everybody out here listening and watching and knows I do it. As I get on here and I get on my pulpit and I start preaching about grievances and and make, and like, hey, do you want to think? And just, I'm just trying to give you a perspective, an unsolicited perspective. The whole reason why I started the show actually is just give people my advice that, that, that I think is good advice because I've always been told that I give good advice.
00:53:08
Speaker
And i I'm real blunt with people. and And a lot of times, because of my personality, people take my bluntness and they're not really offended. Because I kind of do. I kind of give ed i kind of give that blunt advice with a sly grin on my face. My favorite emoji on the iPhone is that sly grin. Like, i I literally use it multiple times in a day. That's kind of my character. That's kind of who I am. I'm telling you the real, but I got a smile on my face.
00:53:38
Speaker
I bring all that up to tell you two stories of people that came to me for advice. They asked for my opinion. They asked for my advice. They knew that I was right and they listened to me. and Okay, I have two homegirls and this is arate this is crazy to even think about. I got two homegirls.
00:54:06
Speaker
Good friends, not my bestie, but but friends, friends enough, good enough friends when they would tell me this. They both got cheated on their boyfriends, two different guys. They both got cheated on their boyfriends and their boyfriends burnt them. What do I mean by burnt them? Their boyfriends gave them an STD. One got gonorrhea, one got the clap, chlamydia. And ah first of all, being cheated on,
00:54:36
Speaker
That's a horrible experience, but being cheated on and given an ass to anything. Huh. So one friend calls me and tells me this. No, I actually saw them in person, they and they tell me about this. And I said, oh, OK. And then she was like, and he broke up with me. I was like, OK. And she says, what do you think? I was like, I don't even know why you broke the fact that he broke up with you. I mean, if he didn't break up with you, you would have broke up with him, right? Well, what?
00:55:05
Speaker
He cheated on you and gave you an STD. And you were still thinking about like being with them? Well, I love them. If that's not some of the dumbest things that I've ever heard. I mean, can you forgive people for cheating on you? Hey, look, it's happened before in life. But cheating on you and getting by,
00:55:32
Speaker
but I think there's an extra sign of extreme disrespect when somebody cheats on you unprotected, and the only way you can get those STDs is if you're unprotected, right? So they cheated on you unprotected, and you got lucky because you got a curable disease, and not that main one, but even HIV, you know, HIV is it's not what it was in the 90s, but that still I still don't want it, right?
00:55:59
Speaker
My other friend, similar story. Boyfriend, cheated on her, bought her. I can't remember which one guy gonorrhea'd her clap, doesn't really matter, right? She's known me for for ah for decades, decades, right? She also knows how blunt I am and how I don't actually give advice unless somebody asks for it.
00:56:27
Speaker
And the reason why I don't is because I've had several women that I dated. My ex-wife was the queen of this one.
00:56:35
Speaker
I don't know what it is, but I like looking at things and figuring out angles, and I'll tell you how a situation is going to play out. Maybe it's my years of of playing chess, but I i i know human the human beings pretty well, and I know situations, and I know how things are going to play out. And there was a lot of times my ex-wife would be telling me a story of something going on at work or at friends or something like that, and I would just sit and listen, because when people are talking to you,
00:57:01
Speaker
about something that's bothering them, the best thing to do is sit and listen. Don't interject. Don't try to connect by saying, oh, yeah, that happened to me. Just sit and listen. And I would sit and listen, and I'd be like, yeah, I hear what you're saying. Yep. Confirming that I'm and that i'm listening to her. And she would go, all right, what should I do? Because you always end up being right anyway.
00:57:25
Speaker
I'll say, you sure? You want my advice? Yes, because you're just going to end up being right anyway. OK, well, this is what's going to happen. Sure enough, she's always right. So my friend has known me for decades. My other friend that told me about her situation doesn't know that about me really. But my other friend that knows me for decades knows knows that about me. So she told me her situation. My boyfriend cheated on her. She got an STD.
00:57:52
Speaker
and And I was like, okay, all right. And she was like, okay, so tell me what you think. I was like, what do you mean? She's like, tell me what you think. And I was like, well, o you know who I am. She's like, I know that's specifically the reason why I called you because I know you're going to give it to me, blunt and honest.
00:58:14
Speaker
I was like, okay, you rushed into the situation. You shouldn't have rushed into that situation. You put yourself in a bad position by playing family and house before the situation had presented itself. He cheated. You knew that he had a history of that. He cheated.
00:58:33
Speaker
But I can tell by the tone in your voice, you're not gonna leave him. No, I am, I am. You know, I just needed to hear that. I was like, okay. I hear what you're saying. But I can tell by the tone in the voice, you're not gonna leave him. Guess what, ladies and gentlemen? I check in on her a week later. Hey, what's the updates? How you doing health wise? Like how is everything going? No response. Check in on her again. Hey, any updates? Did you get my last message?
00:59:01
Speaker
What? I have no updates to give you. Nothing, nothing new is going on. Kinda get an attitude with me. I'm like, all right. Okay, I already know because I knew the first phone call. Sure enough, on Instagram, a week after that, they're taking happy couple pictures. Hey look, to each their own. I'm not in their life. They just asked me my opinion. I gave them what was going to happen.
00:59:27
Speaker
I told my other friend, hey, you need to distance yourself. This person is toxic because he was gaslighting. I was like, you need to delete all of his information.
00:59:42
Speaker
from your phone, social media, email, delete it from your phone so that you can't contact him, because she kept putting herself into a fight with him. And I'm like, y'all are broken up like Annie Burchu. The only time you need to communicate with him is the fact that maybe the antibiotics aren't working like they're supposed to, and he might need to go back to the doctor, right? Like, there's no other reason to communicate. Sure enough, kept going back and fighting,
01:00:10
Speaker
Something bad happened. she had She had a bad car accident because she was so distraught because he gave some bad advice. And I just looked at her. And she said, what? I said, I told you.
01:00:25
Speaker
ah told you nothing good was going to come from communicating when you put yourself in this situation. And I know that wasn't the right thing for me to say at the time. I know it wasn't. But it's the truth. And I know they say sometimes you don't always need to be right. But sometimes people are so hard headed that you need to beat the truth in them so that they see it because they can hurt themselves and damage themselves long term. I told both of my friends, both of them, bluntly, real honestly,
01:00:54
Speaker
Hey, look, get yourself out of that situation. Nothing good's gonna come from it. I think my one friend is actually gonna listen to me now because she got in that car accident with my other friend. no No, and I'm not gonna talk to her about it anymore either. I'm not. You got one time to come to me. Ask me for my advice. I give you my advice.
01:01:20
Speaker
I tell you, I know you're not in the police to hear me right now, so I know you're going to go do. You defiantly say, no, I'm going to listen to you. I'm going to listen to you. And you you go back. That just lets me know that the next time you come to me with the same issue, I'm going to say, cla I ain't got nothing for you. that I feel sorry for you, but I'm not going to talk to you about this anymore. Because you ain't going.
01:01:40
Speaker
You ain't gonna bring down my mental health. I tried to help you as a friend. I gave you some blood, ass, honesty, told you the real, and I was right. I know that I'm right. I can feel that I'm right. And I'm not one of those people that always thinks that he's right. I can admit when I'm wrong. I know that I'm right in these scenarios. I know I am. You know why I know? Because it's common sense.
01:02:06
Speaker
And I can't understand the reason why I'm agitated. I can't understand why you can't understand what is easily understandable. That's how I like that's how i'm like my father. And if you ask me for advice, you better be ready to get that blunt honesty, because I'm going to give it to you real and raw, just like I do on this show. How I talk on this show is how I talk in real life. I'm just going to give it to you.
01:02:35
Speaker
Be truthful, honest, and sincere, but I'm gonna give it to you. I don't know what's gonna happen with my friends. I wish for them the best. they can't come from me They can't come to me for no more vice. They can't come for me no more help, not gonna do it. You ain't gonna dry my blood pressure through the roof because you being hard-headed. And sometimes,
01:03:01
Speaker
You just got to give people that blunt advice so they actually hear you and they hear me. So I ain't giving it no more. But dad, thank you because your advice actually helped me in one of my situations and one of my relationships that I'm very happy with. And sometimes that blunt honesty just hit six weeks later and maybe it'll hit my friends six weeks later. I don't know. oh But ladies and gentlemen, my blunt honesty to you, check in on yourself.
01:03:31
Speaker
In a word of Kamaan Lupitachi, be a better friend to yourself. He said that to Tony Soprano. Be a better friend to yourself. Don't think that you can just work your way through whatever issue that you got. Especially if it's dealing with childhood trauma. You need help with that. Everybody needs somebody to talk to.
01:03:55
Speaker
Just remember that. That's my blunt honesty. And on that note, thank you for listening.
01:04:10
Speaker
That was a hell of a show. Thank you for rocking with us here on our podcast wherever you're listening or watching it to it. Pass it along to your friends. If you enjoy it, that means the people that you rock with will enjoy it also. So share the wealth, share the knowledge, share the noise. And for all those people that say, well, I don't have a YouTube. If you have a Gmail account, you have a YouTube. Subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can actually watch our video podcast. But the real party is on our Patreon page after hours uncensored and talk a straight ish after hours uncensored is another show with my sister. And once again, the key word there is uncensored. Those are exclusively on our Patreon page. jump onto our web website at unsolicitedperspective.com for all things us. That's where you can get all of our audio, video, our blogs, and even buy our merch. And if you really feel ingenuous and want to help us out, you can donate on our donations page. Donations go strictly to improving our software and hardware so we can keep giving you guys good content that you can