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DC Shenanigans, Election Fatigue & Jay’s Wardrobe Malfunction!
29 Plays14 days ago
In this episode of Unsolicited Perspectives, it’s “Sibling Happy Hour” with Bruce Anthony and his sister J. Aundrea. Bruce kicks things off by spilling the tea on his wild night out in DC that left his voice sounding a bit rough. But don’t let the laughs fool you—they get real about the recent election results. Jay opens up about feeling drained, frustrated, and tired of fighting the same battles for equity in America. Together, they share their raw thoughts on the pressures of today’s political climate and what they hope comes next.
The fun ramps up again when they dive into Jay’s hilarious wardrobe malfunction story before launching their new "Am I the A-Hole?" segment. Here, they tackle a juicy relationship dilemma from Reddit with their trademark blend of humor and straight talk, leaving you with a mix of laughs and insights.
Tune in for personal stories, sharp political takes, and the sibling banter you love! #election2024 #dcnightlife #redditstories #losingweight #unsolicitedperspectives
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Thank you for tuning into Unsolicited Perspectives with Bruce Anthony. Let's continue the conversation in the comments and remember, stay engaged, stay informed, and always keep an open mind. See you in the next episode!
Chapters
00:00 Welcome to Unsolicited Perspectives
00:34 Sibling Happy Hour Begins
01:46 Gala Night Recap
13:24 Adventures in Adams Morgan
16:46 Reflections on Aging and Society
22:15 Jay's Election Thoughts
32:17 Coping with Political Fatigue
32:57 Reflecting on the Campaign
34:41 Personal Reactions and Privilege
50:18 The Draws Story
55:05 Reddit Dilemmas: Am I the Asshole?
01:04:51 Closing Thoughts and Farewell
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Transcript
Introduction & Engagement
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome. First of all, welcome. This is Unsolicited Perspectives. I'm your host, Bruce Anthony, here to lead the conversation in important events and topics three for the Shape of the Gay Society. Join the conversation and follow us wherever you get your audio podcasts. Subscribe to our YouTube channel to watch our video podcasts. Rate, review, like, comment, share. Share with your friends, share with your family. Hell, share with your enemies.
Sibling Happy Hour Announcement
00:00:32
Speaker
On today's episode, it's a sibling happy hour. I'm here with my sis, Jay Andre. We're gonna be dilly-dallying a little bit. Then we're gonna be letting Jay respond to the election. And then we're gonna do a segment, Am I the Asshole? But that's enough of the intro. Let's get to the show.
Gala Reflections and Partying Challenges
00:00:55
Speaker
What up, sis? What up, brother? I got my deep voice going on here. yes That's the, I've been through it. Third, ladies and gentlemen. Last night was a night, a time was had voice. That's that voice. Ladies and gentlemen, the third week in a row. And just so that I don't miss what we normally do, I can call it. Cause this is another, it's another week. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep doing this.
00:01:22
Speaker
I can't keep doing this because what you will text me before the show and be like, hey, I'm dragging. And I'm like, oh, Lord, let me go ahead and prepare and make sure that I've got things to say.
00:01:35
Speaker
I mean, even when I'm dragging, I think I still steer the ship pretty well. You do. We do. You know, the anxiety of doing a show is completely gone. So I actually think it's actually better for me. But a night last night was definitely had. My bestie invited me to a gala. It was for a good cause. I don't want to say the foundation, because we're going to be talking about election stuff. And I don't want to put that foundation in with your views on the election. But it's a foundation here in the DC area that helps disabled and children, children with disabilities, things of that nature, really good cause. And kind um yeah, the drinks were flowing last night. Oh, open bar? It was an open bar, but my bestie's house was an open bar before that and she got it. She's listening to this. You know, you got a heavy hand when you pouring. I think she tries to kill me. ah but you assume Maybe she just knows you're anxious and be like, this will help. Maybe. But i I was hanging out with one of her childhood friends. I think she's known her friend since kindergarten. One, she's known since she was three. It's a group of like five of them. Five five women. How is that even possible? Because it all like they never they grew up in the same neighborhood. like And they all went to the school together. and like yeah they didn't they didn't People do that. They don't move around like we did.
00:02:57
Speaker
Yeah, but I just feel like that's so cool. You knew people back when they were still peeing in the bed and stuff. Wait, so what now? They were still peeing in the bed. Y'all remember each other back in Foursquare, and I just got the best friends. Foursquare.
00:03:16
Speaker
That's crazy. It is crazy. So I met, I met, well, I've already met her friend before, but I met her husband ah for the first time. He was a cool cat. He but he was right there drinking with me. Yeah. we We was drinking a lot. Just bad influences. All around. yeah All around. Got it.
Veterans Day Weekend in DC
00:03:34
Speaker
I was uncomfortable because I had to put on regular clothes, but I got comfortable. And by regular clothes, ladies and gentlemen, he just means a shirt and a pair of slacks.
00:03:47
Speaker
Not even a button-up shirt, not even a tie, just a shirt, a blazer, and some slacks. Yeah. So he made it as casual as he could. If he could have paired Jordans with it, he would have. I would have, because the the the other gentleman that came with us, her friend's husband, wore tux. And other people was wearing tux, and I was just like, tuxes. And I was just like, you know what? I'm going to be the one. Tux eye? How do you say tuxes? I think it's just tuxes.
00:04:14
Speaker
Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It is what it is. I don't think anybody knows. Maybe. But the the organization raised $68,000. Wow, that's awesome. I also thought, could have raised more. There were some people there with some heavy pockets there yesterday. Wow, okay. They could have raised a little bit more. Some people were being cheap. I could have participated in the raising of the money. I did not, but my presence was there.
00:04:37
Speaker
Your c presence, yes. You, who everyone was trying to decide if you were a former NBA or former NFL player yeah around, he was a former MLB player. Figure out what you were doing. What a major league bastard, because that's what I am. That's spirit. I like that. That's spirit. Nice little slip when you let that one ride and that was nice. Good job.
00:05:08
Speaker
But yeah, it was a good time. But I didn't go to bed until 5 o'clock in the morning. Part of the problem was is that to get an Uber ride home was extremely difficult last night because DC was packed. I'm thinking, one, because of the election, and two, it's Veterans Day weekend. Yeah. So it was just, I was just like, can I please get home please? Right, right. I can't walk home. It's too far.
00:05:31
Speaker
Yeah. That's literally the worst. And my feet hurt. That's literally the worst. I remember the one and only time, this was back in like 2009, that I went to Times Square for New Year's. It was the worst decision I ever made because they shut down the subway stations like... What? Why? ah Within like...
Election Reactions & Systemic Issues
00:05:55
Speaker
It felt like a five mile radius of where the ball drops. And so you just had to walk. You couldn't get a cab, roads were blocked off. like you couldn't they well what You couldn't get no Uber. like You just had to walk. And I just felt like, am I going to end up walking from Times Square all the way back to 89th Street? That's...
00:06:20
Speaker
I don't know if you know, but Times Square I believe is in the single digit streets. It was on 89th. That's a long walk. That was a long walk before I found it open somewhere. And it was, it's like, you start to throw a tantrum like, I just want to go home. I just want to be at home right now.
00:06:42
Speaker
yeah I didn't help that I was drunk and I was so drunk. This has happened once before. I was out with our cousin and I just had a really hard time operating the Uber app. That's how drunk I was. yeah So I ordered a Lyft and I guess it took too long. So I ordered an Uber and forgot to cancel the Lyft. Oh God. and Okay. I don't know. Look, I don't know. I got home. I got McDonald's. Yeah. Aim me a 20 piece nugget in the fry.
00:07:10
Speaker
Yeah. And, you know, stayed up till five o'clock in the morning. Well, I want to see the fit. Like, it's... Well, I got pictures. My bestie sent me pictures, and I swear I'm like Clifford with pictures. I just cannot have... You have to be a human being. Yeah, I can't have just a normal face. One of the pictures, I swear, I don't know if I'm meant to do this, but it's a kissy face. And I don't... I'm like... You did duckling? I did duck lips, and I was like, I don't ever do duck lips. That don't even sound like me, but that's how drunk I was. Like, I can't just make a normal face. I can't take pictures. You've taken pictures with me. Yes. And you're just like, just be normal. And I'm like, what's normal? It just ain't normal. But I still was able to capture it because I'm a good photographer. That's true. But the key is, and I sometimes tell people this if they have a hard time in sessions or I'm taking photos of them, is to come up with an alter ego.
00:08:09
Speaker
You come up with this alter ego that is the person you become when you take photos. If you ever notice, one, all my photos, I'm pretty much in the same pose. And i pretty much i've like I've mastered that pose and that face. And that's it. And that is Nina.
00:08:28
Speaker
And when I take a picture, I'm Mina, and that is who I am. And that's how you get something out of yourself that it's a part of you. It is you. But when you tell somebody, be yourself, that's like the hardest thing. Because I don't go around every day defining myself so I know exactly who I am. What do you mean, be myself?
00:08:57
Speaker
that i don't I can define you. Well, yeah, other people would define you, but when you're asked, yeah, that's true. um
00:09:08
Speaker
I'm not i' not must saying that that's not accurate. Well, other people can define you, but like when you're asked to just, hey, just smile like a normal, just smile normally.
00:09:24
Speaker
you are You suddenly forget how you normally smile. But a good photographer will make you laugh and bring your natural smile out, and that's me. Well, I don't drink that. You pat yourself on the back anymore. I don't know what my alter ego would be. Jerome?
00:09:41
Speaker
No, because you'll think of Jerome from Martin and then you'll make even worse decisions. and with the yeah and now But it it does also take practice. like You don't become good at being photographed
Modeling, Body Image & Personal Appearance
00:09:58
Speaker
overnight. like It takes practice. If you ask anybody who does it professionally, they practice.
00:10:03
Speaker
That's like, you remember when I kept getting approached by all the modeling agencies when I was like around 60, 70, 80? And then it was like, you're very handsome. this This will work. And I took some pictures and it was like, oh, I don't take good pictures.
00:10:22
Speaker
like I mean, you still could have done runway. ah I don't see why you couldn't have done that, because you're attractive in real life. You just can't make like that translated film. I cannot make it translate into film or pictures, but in real life, I'm handsome, except when my bestie sent me the pictures. You haven't seen me since August.
00:10:41
Speaker
And I leaned out considerably since then. It's not a lot on the scale, but you'll notice it. yeah Not like that one time where you thought I was on crack. Not that far. Well, because you were still wearing your old clothes. And it looked, they were so baggy. So baggy. But now you get it. because Now I get it because I was wearing them too. I was wearing my old clothes too. And
Humorous Closing Anecdotes
00:11:03
Speaker
everybody was like, John, none of that fits. And I'm like, is it on? Then it fits. I'm not buying new clothes.
00:11:12
Speaker
Oh, but I was looking at the pictures last night, and I was like, why am I a Bivolotti? Got my head, then he got body. Why is my head so big? And my body's so tiny. And when you see the pictures, you'll know what I'm talking about. It was like, because normally I have a big body, but but yeah but the body is a little slimmer now. And my head is... Normally in proportion, your head is smaller than your body. Right. Not no more. It is Bivolotti time. Got my head. You just look like a bobblehead.
00:11:38
Speaker
Look, you'll see when I show you the pictures. And it could have been the way I was posing. I don't like the pictures. And then my bestie, my hype man, always like, look, I did it. She'll never tell me nothing negative about myself. And sometimes I'll be like. Well, that's how women are. That's how women are. No, that's not true. Because you will always tell me something negative about myself.
00:11:55
Speaker
I'm your sister. That's different. ok so fair That's the different level of woman this women. that are Women that are family. We'll tell you the truth. Yes. I don't want you going out and embarrassing us as a unit.
00:12:11
Speaker
As siblings, I don't want you doing that, so I'm going to tell you the truth. But typically, especially when we're trying to like pour into people, women will just be like, yes, friend, go, friend. Okay, yeah, you got it. out Come on. Yes. You know, like all that kind of, all that kind of shenanigans.
00:12:28
Speaker
Yeah, or good I guess that's the reason why I have so many female friends because they be hyping it up because my male friends be like, you ain't nothing. Can I get a little encouragement? That's not what we do. Punch you in your chest. why we have one We have to be this way. but Anyway, it was a good night last night. Night was head and a morning is felt.
00:12:50
Speaker
Yeah, because again, we are not in an age where we could live like this. No. This is the third weekend in a row. Yeah. You need to sit down somewhere. You're going to get sick. Don't put that on me. I hope not. Don't put that on me. Let me knock on some wood. Don't put that on me. But you're running around. You're ripping and running. I'm definitely ripping and running. I haven't set my butt down in a week. Yeah, you've been ripping and running. That's too much.
00:13:18
Speaker
ah also My bestie, she decided this is what we were gonna do before the night even started. We were gonna go to this gala and then we was gonna go to Adam's Morgan. And I was like, at night? That's a terrible decision. And so for those people that don't know Washington DC, Adam's Morgan is a beautiful neighborhood that's got a lot of bars and restaurants. And in the daytime for adults, it is super dope. Yes. At nighttime when the sun falls,
00:13:49
Speaker
Yeah. When the street lights come on. It is full of people like 25 to 21. And because that's where we, that was, it's like a random pass. That was where we went, yeah. And we went to a bar and I was like, you shouldn't wonder this, we are going to feel super old in there.
00:14:08
Speaker
Yeah. And I felt super old. I mean, we had a good a good time with Still Head because we were just like, are are we old? It's no big deal. These young Gen Z people. Gen Y'all are in outfits from a gala, so that doesn't help. Hey, we were standing out and we was feeling right, OK? But I felt old. I was like, yeah ain't nobody in here yaka holla why because I because they was young, and two,
00:14:35
Speaker
We've said this before, DC is unattractive central. It is. It's very unattractive. and i did a But but if like I said, I didn't know that DC was so unattractive until I moved to Atlanta. And I'm like, oh, oh no. like Every time I go back home, I'm like, oh, oh why'd'all stop karen like why Why?
00:14:59
Speaker
they Because they just prioritize different things in DC. They prioritize you know where you went to school, what you do for a living, who you know, what your connections are, what neighborhoods you live in. you know like They just prioritize different things. um ah that's That's a part of it. Also, I don't think if they prioritize their looks, it would help. They're fit. Everybody in DC is fit for the most part. Yeah. Health and wellness is huge in this area. So from the met down,
00:15:27
Speaker
They holding it down. There's a lot of body faces out here, though. yeah And I got two people that are in my life. I cannot say who they are because they might listen to the show. So I can't say who they are. But they have an extremely high pain on of themselves, both in their intellect and their physical characteristics. And I'm a person that wants to be real with them and say, you are not as smart or an intelligent or as attractive as you think you are.
00:15:58
Speaker
They think they are sevens. minimum eights, eight and a half nines. And I'm like, you're a DC three, yeah which is a one and a half everywhere else. Cause you got a grade on the curve in DC. Right. But who, who does that help? Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Like, you know, you want people to be confident in themselves and things like that. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes you gotta bring people down a little bit. You really don't though. You can always just mind your business. like
00:16:32
Speaker
you know but i know I got brought down yesterday. day What? Inadvertently, I went out a i went out with with some ladies who are younger than me. and which just We went to Applebee's, get some dinner, have some drinks, and just kind of chat.
00:16:52
Speaker
and there would but I guess the Applebee's and Cascade is the popping place for old heads. They go there, they watch college football, they're loud, they drink. And it's just, you know, all the older ladies are there with their little tank tops on and the older fellas and their everybody's, you know. How old are we talking?
00:17:14
Speaker
I mean, they look like our parents' age. oer are yes So it was just like the three of us surrounded by, ah we're sitting at the bar, all these old heads, just you know going back and forth and doing what old head do, everybody. All that kind of um like how stuff back and forth. And it got to a point in the night, one of them said, hey, man, I'm not as young as I used to. No, I'm 40.
00:17:41
Speaker
and i just
00:17:46
Speaker
Part of me died because I literally thought these were people, my parents' names, but in reality... You were looking at the man in the mirror. In reality, they were my... And your peers. They were my peers. And and when we left, I looked...
00:18:13
Speaker
at the two ladies I was with. And I was like, you see, this is the best. That's my age already, y'all. That's what I have to look forward to, sit at the Applebee's. So old man, that's my age.
00:18:30
Speaker
I'm surprised that y'all even founded Applebee's. I don't even know what one is around here. He's one of the cast. Hey, he's here. They got the chiefer two for two? You know they do.
00:18:41
Speaker
want to but Wanton you know? Wanton tacos? Yeah. Oh, Lord Jesus, i now want now one apple piece. I know. They're not sponsoring us, but ah you can. Oh, that is humbling. Yeah, when you look around. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. Because I forget sometimes when I hang out, especially when people are younger than me, I forget until something happens. And they say stuff like, what was it the one time?
00:19:10
Speaker
I don't know, she was just like, I mean, they really didn't have cell phones back in like the 2000s, the early 2000s. I was like, yes, we did. We had cell phones. No, but I mean, y'all couldn't really communicate. like Yes.
00:19:28
Speaker
Yes, we could. What year were you born? 2005? Oh, well, that's why you don't know because you weren't there. And I'm telling you as somebody who was there. Yes, we did have some. Get out of the internet. Get out of my face. She is the age that you were at 25.
00:19:50
Speaker
still That is crazy. You're doing the math right now in your head, aren't you? No, I'm doing it. But I'm telling you, in 2005, you were 21. Yeah. Because I but twenty five yeah and two thousand and five was was 20 years ago. I mean, it soon. It'll be 20 years ago soon. It's the same age.
00:20:10
Speaker
And I felt like I didn't say ignorant stuff like that. No, we did. Which you know what? Probably did. Yeah, we did. We did. Because I will remember b people being like, you're just a kid. You don't know nothing. yeah And I was like, no more than you. I got the internet. Y'all didn't even yeah ya maybe have that. Well, 2005 is when we found out about Dookie Stig.
00:20:30
Speaker
oh Ladies and gentlemen, we told this story before when we was playing Play No Games by Fat Joe. And our dad said, that ain't nothing but some dookie stick. Dookie stick by Boots of College. I told now that story last night. No, it's that Lil Jon is Lil Jon. Fat Joe is on it. It's featured. It's a Fat Joe song to me. I know it's a Lil Jon song, but Fat Joe. He did have the best verse. yeah you We had the best verse. Well, I'm a Fat Joe fan, just yeah rap and in life in general. I had to unfollow 50 Cent, though.
00:20:59
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I never followed Tripp D'Sene. He's such a messy queen that I just can't deal with his shenanigans. He posted a picture of him and Trump on Wednesday. Oh, I was on Unfollowing Tip on Wednesday. It was a lot of people. You know, I follow a lot of, you know, because I'm ah um'm a creep, so I follow a lot of Instagram models. yeah And had to I had to unfollow a lot of them. I was like, oh, no, not you. Not you. because and Even them, yeah. And 50 Cent was another one.
00:21:28
Speaker
but Jeff Bezos, you can kiss my ass. I bet you still won't cut off Amazon though, will you? I will not order as often as I used to. I will i will get up and go to the i will get up and go to a store. Oh, okay.
00:21:47
Speaker
I will. are If it's for something, you know, like, sometimes you be like, damn, I need an HD on my court. Let me order one from Amazon real quick. You know what I'm saying? Because it's cheaper than going to the store. Right, but nah, I just got to find the best buy first and then, you know, go to get it. Or Target or something, you know, just about I have to go and get it. Well, you have, I already did my show on that election and gave my thoughts, but you have some thoughts. And I know we talked about it earlier.
00:22:17
Speaker
this week, and you was like, I don't want to talk about the election. And then you texted me this morning. I've got something to say about the election. And so, OK. okay I'm going to give. I didn't want to talk about it because I was just not in a place to talk about it. And now you are? No, still not. um And that will probably be reflected in what I say. But I know that we have an audience. And you know last time I looked, it was like over 14,000 people that subscribed to our channel. and
00:22:50
Speaker
I think that's our YouTube channel. Yeah. We are. People are listening to this podcast all over the world. yeah Like our downloads for audio streams and all that stuff. Crazy, crazy. So, so I know that there's probably for whatever reason, somebody out there that would want to know.
00:23:12
Speaker
what I think. So I was given the advice, really great advice to just speak from the heart. And so that's, I said, all right, let me let me but put my big girl panties on and try to say something about it. Make sure they're not too big because they fall down.
00:23:36
Speaker
That was a long time. ah art All All right. Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to tell that story in a third segment, but we're going to get into Jay's election thoughts next.
00:23:55
Speaker
Okay, Jay, I gave my thoughts of the election. I'm gonna give you the absolute floor because people want to hear, they want to hear what you think. They don't get, some people don't be giving a damn what I say. They want to hear what you think. So, the floor is yours. Um, so I spent the past week thinking of what to say to, like I said, all all the people who listen to us and and support us and want to know what we think or what I think. I did watch your show and I wish I could give also a great speech about hope and determination, um but I think
00:24:40
Speaker
I'm like a majority of the supporters of the Harris-Wells ticket, and I'm not feeling that right now. I think I feel like a lot of people, especially people who have been working for so long, for so many years, marching, petitioning, volunteering, knocking doors, making calls, sending in those annoying texts, working as poll watchers, I'm tired.
00:25:11
Speaker
like I'm really exhausted. I don't have any inspirational quotes for you or any of that. I don't have it. It's been so many years of just trying to make
00:25:30
Speaker
a more equitable world. Like, that's it. Like, we just want to make it fair for everyone. We just want people to be able to pursue their dreams unencumbered by things they have no control over or or by how they identify. That we're not trapped in this meritocracy based on race or gender or ability or sexual orientation. And this is... It's not coming from nowhere. This is an idea that's codified in our Constitution. and We just want to see it in praxis. And it's not like I don't know how government works, right? Majority rule swings back and forth. I get that.
00:26:23
Speaker
But this election felt different. It felt like a clear choice between empathetic leadership and a fascist. Like it just felt so very clear. So to lose so decisively feels especially painful and beyond disappointing.
00:26:50
Speaker
We have a felon as president-elect. We have an alleged sexual abuser as president-elect. I didn't think that that was possible since the Founding Fathers. Like, their crimes were against enslaved Black folks, so no one cared. But in this day and age,
00:27:15
Speaker
to just not care about your own integrity or you your purported Christian values and beliefs. This election was about the integrity of America. And we answered. However you voted, we answered as a nation. This is the extent of our pride as a nation and of our integrity. Donald Trump at JD Vance, two con artists.
00:27:43
Speaker
This is the true promise of America. It's individualism, it's capitalism, racism, misogyny, Christian nationalism, homophobia, transphobia. That's who we are. And you can't argue with people who stake their very lives on the fact that these systems of oppression and disenfranchisement exist and their perceived future is is bound up in these systems continuing. Because the quote unquote promise of America, freedom, life, liberty, happiness, those things, there are people who believe that it is for them.
00:28:30
Speaker
but that there's a finite amount of success available in America, and they aren't getting what they are owed because some of that success is going to people it wasn't meant for. We, who live in the margins, were never meant to have or share because, make no mistake, the promises of a bunch of rich, landowning white men that that they made to each other 250 years ago were not meant for us. Social programs were not meant for us. Public assistance it was not for us. VA a benefits are not for us. jobs The jobs they want are not for us. Economic prosperity is not for us. This is the reality. I know what we were told and made to believe about America.
00:29:22
Speaker
And I know the hopes and dreams that we share about the potential of America. The pain of this election is born out of and rooted in that, not that Donald Trump won, but that we have to come to grips with some hard truths about the project of America. That America is a business with a few on top and everyone else is on lower floors.
00:29:50
Speaker
at which floor you're on is determined not by your ability, but but how how society categorizes you and how much you can pay. That's your worth as a human being. And hopeful rhetoric about freedom and change and and and moving forward is not going to save us from that reality. And I I don't blame anyone. I don't blame like any one group. I honestly don't. People have reached out to me. I've seen the the texts and the DMs and I apologize for not responding yet, um but I do see them. But people have reached out, placing blame just everywhere. But this was a collective decision.
00:30:38
Speaker
So many different people from all walks of life had to come together decisively for this to happen. Blame isn't going to do anything but alienate us from from one another even further. And if I sound mad as hell, it's because I am. But so are you. And that's good.
00:31:06
Speaker
I'm not saying all of this to say that it's hopeless because we know that it isn't. We have seen people fight for justice in this country and win. So I'm not saying to give up, but for right now, I'm not gonna encourage you to persevere. Why should we when we feel the way that we do?
00:31:30
Speaker
How can we push through knowing the real consequences of things like Project 2025 or the tariffs that he doesn't understand that the real consequences these things will have on our actual daily lives? People already can't afford things. I want to start my journey to parenthood soon. I am afraid of what the state of women's reproductive care will be when I do. Will it be safe for me? I don't know the answer to that. I don't know the answer. I think all I have for you is to take care. Log off if you need to.
00:32:20
Speaker
Put your phone on D and&D, respectfully tell people that you don't have the capacity to talk politics. Be tired, be frustrated, be angry. And once you come out of that, because you will, we all will, once you come out of that, you'll know what you want to do next. The last thing I'll say is VP Harris and Governor Walz, in my opinion,
00:32:50
Speaker
ran a beautiful campaign. Even though, no, they weren't ready, and we weren't ready for it. To me, they ended up being a dream ticket and I i hope that they run again. i have I have no notes for their campaign. To run for president in three months and accomplish what they were able to accomplish, i just I have no notes. So like all of you, I'm waiting to see what's gonna happen.
00:33:19
Speaker
I anticipate a lot of time will be spent in Mar-a-Lago not being a president. He didn't want to do the job in 2016 when he was 70. He's definitely not going to want to do it at 80.
00:33:31
Speaker
So that's all I have to say about that. That's where I'll leave it. I'm not going to make some grand call to action. You know, no, no, so no soaring words of hope. Just, just honesty. Um, let yourself feel what you're feeling. Take the time you need to process, to rest, to breathe and whenever you're ready, whenever we're ready, ah we'll figure out the next steps together. But take care of yourselves and I will see you when it's time to move forward again. Hmm, wow.
00:34:19
Speaker
Yeah. and that's I talked to you earlier this week. I gave you space. So it was a couple of days after the election. Hell, we both took time on Wednesday. Yeah. are And yeah, this sucks. It sucks. Like there's no real way ah to describe it other than, man, this really, really sucks. It's really trash. Yeah. That ticket was so hopeful. Yeah. and and you really you really want to do You really wanted to see that ticket succeed. and Wow. Hate and
00:35:05
Speaker
I don't know how else to describe it, one. And and I get it. You said you saw my show and you're like, I ain't got no words of hope. Yeah, i don't have I wish I had cool Star Wars quotes. And i wish i you know I wish I did. I looked for some quotes. And i just I was like, I'm not. I don't have it. I don't. I don't have it. You know, I was talking to a friend of mine, black professor.
00:35:35
Speaker
Same age, same age is as me, we're around the same age. And he was dejected like I i was, and even was down there at Howard.
00:35:47
Speaker
on Tuesday night and Wednesday night. and And I was like, did you cry? I was like, yeah, I was crying when she gave her speech. Like, I was right there. I was like right there in front of her when she gave the speech. And he was like, yeah, you know, I'm um more like i'm I'm getting through it. And I was like, yeah, I'm kind of that way too. Like, that's the reason why I gave that that hopeful show on Friday. Like, it will be all right.
00:36:14
Speaker
Then as we were talking about it, it was like, oh, but now we realize why we're a little bit more hopeful and people might not be on the same page. He was like, yes, we are black men. And there are things that are going to happen that affect us. The most important thing is if this immunity for cops happens, yeah that will directly affect her affect us. But he was also like, there's also a class issue that's associated with that. yeah And we're in a certain class where we might not, like, I don't have much interaction with the police. right yeah So um i I mean, he was like, when you look at it from that, we're almost largely
00:36:55
Speaker
unaffected personally. Yeah. And yeah, if if you look at it the lens, we could be a little bit more hopeful than say you, because you're talking about, yeah, I want to have a family. My reproductive rights, this directly, everything that happened directly affects me. And so as we were talking, we're like, yeah, this is the reason why we're hopeful, because even though we are brokenhearted about what happened, largely, a lot of the policies that's gonna happen don't affect us. That doesn't mean that we don't still feel. The reason why we feel so much is because we actually care about people and we know how yeah other people are gonna be affected. But the reason why we have hope or that we can't have hope is because whether we realize, we didn't realize it, we realized it as we were talking, but subconsciously,
00:37:49
Speaker
Oh, we're not, we're not really, things aren't really gonna change for us. Like in the grocery store. The only thing that I ever noticed that changes price is the price of Gatorade Zero. Now, they need to get a handle on this, okay? Because I'm tired of this. I go in there, sometimes it's five for five. Sometimes it's five for four. Yesterday, it was five for three. Look, get back to the five for five. So that's how inflation affects me. i write Largely, it I buy chicken, chickens chicken is chicken. I buy ground beef, ground beef, ground ground beef. like i'm not
00:38:21
Speaker
paying attention, I do grab the cheapest version. Like, yeah no you know, you're going to shift the package. But there's an insulation just from your social economic status where you really don't notice a few dollars chain changing here and there. But there are definitely people in this country that notice every single cent. Right. So and i'm not I'm not saying that I don't empathize, because absolutely I do. But um but for me in my life,
00:38:50
Speaker
When people talk about the economy and they talk specifically about the inflation, like, of course I'm feeling it, but i don't I don't feel it. I feel it, but I don't feel it because, thank God, I don't live check to check. Well, I kind of do, but that's because of my spending habits. yeah you know The last three weekends, case in point, but that's because of me and I have a spending problem, but not because, you know, I can't, afford life. yeah and And so, like ladies and gentlemen, you listening to this, I don't want you all to think that, well, Bruce don't give a damn about us. That's not true. What I'm saying is the reason why I feel hopeful and you don't is because until I, until we, me and my friend had that conversation subconsciously, I wasn't affected. Like I was affected, but not affected. yeah But people, they're women.
00:39:44
Speaker
People in the LGBTQ plus community, immigrants, Latinos, Muslims are all going to be affected yeah by this directly. And yes, they might not have no hope right now. And it's easy for me as somebody who will largely be unaffected to say, yeah, you got to have hope. And it's all I don't mean it to be.
00:40:07
Speaker
condescending, but I could understand if people out there take it that way. That's not what I mean. And I'm sorry, because I didn't realize my privilege is allowing me to have hope.
00:40:22
Speaker
Yeah. I was wondering where you was going to say the P word. Yeah. No, I was getting there. I was getting there. You know, I like to weave. Yeah, I know. You like to weave. Bring it all back to the point. Bring it all back to here. You know, I didn't realize that, you know, my privilege. And yes, I'm a black man living in America. You got privilege? Oh, so much privilege. I have male privilege. I have economic privilege. It's not, when I say economic privilege, ladies and gentlemen, I'm not out here big bank Bruce. But I'm OK, right? Like I live in an area.
00:40:52
Speaker
that costs money, so I do okay. So, yes, I have a lot of privilege, and that allows me to have hope. But for those people out there that don't have that, my message of hope was not meant to be condescended. My message of hope was to say, we gotta keep fighting. And yeah, it's easy for me to say that. It is easy for me to say that, but we have to, because if we fall into the despair for too long, isn it they'll gain more power. Yeah. And that's not what we need. but Yes, it sucks. And yes, from my privileged standpoint, I can say, well, we got knocked down, let's get up. It's a lot easier for me to get up than it is for other people. Yeah.
00:41:42
Speaker
I will say, take your time. You are absolutely right. we At some point, we got to get up and we got to fight. We got to fight because they're fighting. They won and they're still fighting. They're over there in that corner because we're in a fight. We're in a boxing match. They're over there in that corner.
00:41:59
Speaker
going side to side. They didn't even sit in the stool during ah the round break. They were ready to go. They're ready to come out in this next round and just start throwing haymakers because they think that they can knock us out. We've got to come out, take a deep breath, bob and weave and hit them back. we had and We have to and we will. look I truly believe
00:42:26
Speaker
Eventually we will get to the promise of America because from time to time we do. From time to time we do. But progress is never easy. And sometimes when you take two steps forward, you take a step back. Eventually you'll get there.
00:42:44
Speaker
but you got It's going to be a long, hard road, and I get it. I'm privileged. I get it. We still got to fight. We got to fight. I didn't take your your message as condescending at all. I thought it was great that you had that, I don't know, spot. Whatever.
00:43:09
Speaker
yeah saying that you You know I just know that there is a section of the population, myself included, who we're not hopeless, you know but we're not hopeful. It's sort of like this limbo in the middle where you've taken a morale hit. And it's okay to like just sit in that for a little bit because I think that we can get
00:43:40
Speaker
wrapped up in and these great speeches and celebrities coming out and and everybody is telling us we're better than this and we but we start to believe it and we forget that sometimes we're not better than this. And that we have to remember that we got a long way to go, that progress is not a destination, it's a journey. you're not going to make anything better. I wanted to wait to save this as my little point at the end where you asked me if I have anything else to say, but I'm gonna say a map. Y'all with these blue bracelets and stuff, you trying to differentiate yourself?
00:44:29
Speaker
from people that you're one of the good ones and stuff. Nobody cares about your performative, and I'm gonna say my S word for today, bullshit. like Nobody cares about it. Nobody cared about your pink hats. Nobody cares about these blue blue bracelets. like Stop trying to differentiate yourself from other people and start talking to your friends and family. and See if you can help indoctrinate them.
00:44:55
Speaker
Okay, so I agree with some of your saying, but I'm gonna do a little pushback because I have friends. I don't think any of them did any blue bracelets, but I have i have a really good friend of mine. I'm going to her friend's given in ah in December. I got a lot of friend's givens that I'm going to.
00:45:14
Speaker
That's a lot. I asked her, I was like, who gonna make the potato salad? We not having potato salad at the Thanksgiving. I was like, well, she's like, it's catered. And I was like, well, if it's catered, I guess it'll be okay. Catered by whom? they're Right, right. But um she's openly like...
00:45:32
Speaker
really left, like further left than definitely me, probably closer to you on that left spectrum. white She's white and comes from an area in Pennsylvania and she's like, my dad is Trump, a lot of my family is Trump. And I've cut ties because I've tried to i've tried to talk to him and it's yeah impossible. And I'm like, yeah, we know.
00:45:55
Speaker
When you say, talk to your friends and family, they have been, and they just cut them off because they're not changing. Well, like it's like I said, I mean, you can't... if it It's nearly impossible to separate someone who who is staking their lives on you being ah being disenfranchised. Like, they day they need for you to be underneath them. They need for you to be on a lower floor so that they could get to a higher floor. That's how they see it. And they're not wrong because that is America. This is America. But I still don't think stopping the conversations, we still need to try.
00:46:44
Speaker
Sometimes people want that. Sometimes you gotta just give up on people. But to be honest, yeah, that's true. I mean, that's that's also true. but ah But to be honest, like, you ain't gotta do nothing now. That's the whole point of everything. I said, you don't have to do... yeah I'm not gonna tell you to do nothing. Except take care. That's it. um matt I'm not gonna ask. I'm not gonna make some rallying cry. i'm not i because i'm not I'm not feeling it. And you know, I've been... volunteering and and and and in like the political process, especially since moving to Georgia 10 years ago. I mean, it's been so long. I feel like we've been doing this for so long, just trying to give people to acknowledge our basic humanity.
00:47:43
Speaker
And I am i am tired. I feel deflated.
00:47:51
Speaker
And it's all right to feel that it is what it is. I hate that saying. I hate when people say it is what it is, because most of the time it's not what it is. But in this case, it's done. Well, I don't know. Some of these numbers These numbers ain't adding up to me. I try to be conspiracy Bruce. Right. But these numbers ain't adding up to me. Yeah, I'm already getting people that's been reading stuff on social media and they're like, well, you know, somebody's votes didn't count or somebody didn't do this or that. I'm like, you know. They did it for four years. We could do that. We could do that. But honestly, I'm too tired to do that. We old and tired, so you don't want to do that. I'm too tired to do it.
00:48:35
Speaker
All right, well, you know what? Let's break. we We brought the audience down. It was real. It was real. It was real. And and honestly, that guys that's just my honest opinion. I don't i might i might not be right. That's just how I feel right now. i just If y'all were wondering how I feel. I always say how you feel is always right. How you feel is always right.
00:48:57
Speaker
But it's a fact that we feel, but our feelings are not facts. so like Right. we That's true. you know I'm just letting people know this is just how I feel right now in the moment. You're asking me less than a week since yeah how I feel. oh That's how I feel. I've been chilling. Well, let's bring the show up.
00:49:20
Speaker
Yes. And we're going to talk about ah the one segment. We have a little Reddit post. So am I an asshole? We're going to read that. But more importantly, we're going to talk about when your draws fell. We're going to get into that next.
00:49:42
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, we if you're looking at me right now, I am smiling because during this little break before we started this next segment, we were not rehearsing, but just going over the story where your draws fell down. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you don't know what draws is, it's underwear. Okay, that that's what... I guess just, I don't know if it's just a black person. I think other people say draws, but it's universally, no. When you say draws, it's your underwear. So Jay, tell the people the story the time that you was walking and your underwear just fell down. Because they they dig they probably thinking, where was she? What happened? Why is she just in her underwear? No, that was the story. That's not what happened. So as you all know, you've been following in this show for any amount of time.
00:50:25
Speaker
I lost over a hundred pounds via bariatric surgery. There was a time. And working out. a And working out. I used it as a tool. You put in the work. A lot of work on my work. You put in the work.
00:50:41
Speaker
and Okay, like not just physical, mental health wise as well. So it was a lot of work. But there was a time there where I refused to buy new clothes because I'm like, my I can still put on my old clothes, even though they're a little baggy, the standard third, whatever. I'm not going to buy new clothes when I'll just be another size smaller next month. I'm just going to wear these.
00:51:08
Speaker
So the wheels fall off. I didn't know when I said that. That was some foreshadowing.
00:51:19
Speaker
so So... Just living my daily life, ah okay? I'm with some sweatpants. I got my drawers on. I mean, it's just a normal day, ah okay? I'm walking, and I feel a sensation. but I'm thinking, oh, my sweatpants, they're too big. They're a couple sizes too large. My sweatpants, still walking. I'm like, no.
00:51:53
Speaker
That's the side of my sweatpants.
00:51:58
Speaker
And sure enough, my drawers was falling inside of my pants because I was only thinking about how my clothes are fitting different. I wasn't thinking about my underclothes.
00:52:16
Speaker
I would need to wear the appropriate size drawls. So my drawls was about three sizes too big. And I slid down. And my drawls fell off. As walking down the hallway. As I was just walking down the hallway, my drawls are falling down.
00:52:46
Speaker
yeah And you know, listen, but was it it's about taking the time to remember the little thing. The little details that we just skip over, like, hey, maybe out of everything, at least your draw should fit. So that's what I invite to everybody out there. Don't skip the details.
00:53:16
Speaker
Oh, you had droopy drawls. And you know, I know you probably wonder how you did. I know your drawls were too big. I knew they were too big because I had droop butt. But I'm like, the drawls, they're under my clothes. Nobody, nobody will know. ah but My drawls are too big. Not droop butt. Yeah, droop butt. Nobody's going to know my drawls are too big.
00:53:45
Speaker
Nobody's gonna know. My face hurts right now from laughing so hard. I swear to God, ladies and gentlemen, I've heard this story so many times. It never ceases to be absolutely hilarious to me. You're just walking down the hall where you just enjoy your day and he'll draw his focus. Oh, damn, draw his focus. Damn, draw his focus.
00:54:12
Speaker
well Oh, what?
00:54:15
Speaker
Oh, Lord. Oh. That's the draw story, ladies and gentlemen. We hope you find that as humorous as we find it. Let's get to this Reddit post before we get out of here today.
Relationship Trust Issues Discussion
00:54:27
Speaker
Yes. So this is, am I the asshole? My boyfriend, 23 males. Friend, also 23 male. Always cheats on his girlfriend when they go out. Now it's making me question my boyfriend's loyalty.
00:54:43
Speaker
Hi, I'm looking for advice. I've been going out with my boyfriend for a year now. I've never questioned his loyalty as he's really attentive and caring, but he often goes out with his best friend who's got a girlfriend more recently, and my boyfriend tells me he cheats on her when he goes out.
00:55:02
Speaker
often it is just my boyfriend and this friend who go out together. So I'm just starting to wonder what he's doing when his friend is kissing these multiple girls and when he goes out or if he's involved in it. I don't know what to say, but I don't want him to think. I don't trust him because of his friend's actions as he is his own person.
00:55:26
Speaker
But it's just not sitting right with me. Should I say something to my boyfriend? Do you think he's cheating? um o Um... I don't... One, I don't know if he's cheating or not. As a former cheater myself.
00:55:45
Speaker
As someone who has expert experience and cheated, yeah I am a different man now. I've been a different man since I was got into my 30s. Like, I'm talking about in my 20s. And there might be some old girlfriends listening to this for the first time, realizing that I cheated on them. Yep.
00:56:01
Speaker
I did. I'm sorry. I was... Don't sound sorry, but... No, I am. I was a selfish human being. all right i completely is one eighty I am I am a totally different person than I was back in the day. Yeah. But I cheated. I'm not. Yeah. Unapologetically at the time. Yeah.
00:56:21
Speaker
um He might be cheating. I don't know. Some men are faithful. Some men truly are. Some men find the woman, and it's just like, I don't want to cheat. The last two girlfriends that I had, I didn't even come close to cheating because I was like, I'm happy in this situation. But I'm older. He's a 23-year-old male? Maybe. yeah Now, have I been around guys that are my friends that have cheated?
00:56:47
Speaker
They weren't my close friends. But yes, I've been around men that cheated, that I hung out with, but they weren't my close friends. My close friends, never. But people from a distance, yeah, I've seen them. I keep my mouth shut. That ain't none of my business. I'm not about to snitch on them. But she's talking about, well, his boy doesn't. Does he do it? And not necessarily.
00:57:13
Speaker
Not necessarily, but you you are the company you keep. I mean, I just i just feel like... I don't know. I think she i think she should talk... her It's just gonna fester if she doesn't... She should have that conversation. Yeah. She should be like, this makes me uncomfortable. why you Why are you keeping people in your circle to act this way? What does that say about you? Right.
00:57:37
Speaker
and But, you know, i I had close friends that saw me doing ill stuff. They didn't do it. They saw me doing ill stuff. And they would say, hey, man, what you doing? Yeah. I remember one time, God, she's probably not with some sort of beard, OK? When I graduated college, my girlfriend at the time hu threw a party for me at a club.
00:57:59
Speaker
i mean Of course, I was 22 years old and full of myself, full of anger, just a completely different person. We got into an argument. and My whole party is downstairs. I go upstairs before I even finish.
00:58:18
Speaker
Heading up the stairs, I've already got another woman, and I'm kissing on her. In the middle of the dance floor, I didn't say that I was a good person at this time. I'm trying to be a better person now. I wouldn't even say I'm a good person now. I'm trying to be better, but I'm telling you what I was. Yeah. 20 years ago, over 20 years ago. Right. Before I even got up to the stairs, I had met somebody else, and we were kissing. How this happened, I don't know. But um this happened. One of them DC nights.
00:58:46
Speaker
My boy, one of my closest friends who was at the party, came upstairs with his then girlfriend and saw me. And he looked me in my face and be like, bruh, what are you doing? And I literally said, I don't even know what the hell. Right? I'm wiling right now. Like, my girlfriend is literally downstairs at this club. She could have walked up here and seen me. I am wiling right now. Yeah. oh Did that change me? No? No, it didn't that.
00:59:15
Speaker
but Maybe this young man is telling his boy, yo, you fell for what you're doing. Because I got another friend that's got ah a friend that cheats on his wife. Mm-hmm. I noticed I'm being real vague. Yeah. I've got a friend of a friend. Yeah. That's cheating on his wife. And my boy, my friend tells me, hey, man, like, this makes me really uncomfortable because I go out with him. Yeah. and He's always, he's like, his this dude, I've never met this dude before, but this dude is like, buying sex workers and strippers and all that stuff. And he's like, man, what a kid. yeah and and and And my friend is saying, yo, I hate being around him when he does these type of things, because I know his wife. That makes me feel so incredibly uncomfortable.
01:00:08
Speaker
Yeah. So, like, the boy, the dude might know homeboy's girlfriend and be like, man, you know, I know your girl. This ain't right. Maybe he's trying to make a change. She should definitely have that conversation. She is not the asshole. I think that...
01:00:25
Speaker
the conversation, she should steer it towards her boyfriend. And what I mean by that is ask him the next time he comes to you and he tells you about this kind of thing, ask him how it's making him feel. Like when you're in those situations, how do you feel? i like doesn't but you know And then let let him start talking about it from that place and then that'll give you your answer.
01:00:54
Speaker
yeah um If he said, hey, this is what it is, I don't know, okay. He might not be engaging in that kind of behavior, but is that somebody principally that you want to stay with?
01:01:10
Speaker
that's That's a good point. yeah know like you know So him, don't come at it like, well, what are you doing while this is going on? Don't do all that. Just ask him, how you how does that make you feel? And let him talk and see. you have Chances are you're going to find the answer.
01:01:30
Speaker
If you want the answer. If you want it. Because sometimes it'd be right there in front of you and you and you don't want to even be acknowledging it. We've all done it. We've all done it. And we we know the person that we're with. And like and you like you said, the last show was like, hey, no.
01:01:46
Speaker
They can change. stop as Stop expecting them to be who you are. yeah You're not dating yourself. They are who they are. Accept it for who it is and decide whether or not and you can deal with it or not. yeah Right. But ultimately, you're young, you've been together for a year. don't Don't put so much pressure on it. Yeah, but when you're that young, you think that's it.
01:02:07
Speaker
And who knows? it could I know people who got married that young and have stayed married. But who know? I used to be like, yo, you yo, yo, you'll meet somebody else. Look, I don't got all the answers because I'm 44 years old and divorced. All right, so we are done.
01:02:24
Speaker
We ain't got the answers. We ain't got the answers. I got won't fail relationships that I got successful ones. Just tell you, based on my experience, this is how I think you should handle it. But truly, ah yeah, I mean, we don't know. But that's my advice. you know just Just approach it from that place, and chances are you'll know what to do after you have that conversation. But more importantly,
01:02:48
Speaker
she is not an asshole for having that conversation. You're in the goods field. You feel what you feel. Yeah, right. And what you feel is right. Like these, I hate when people say, I don't, what you're feeling is wrong. No, what you feel is right. It might be in that moment. Yeah. You might feel differently tomorrow, the next day at the hour, but in that moment, how you feel is how you feel. Right. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. Yeah, no, you're not an asshole for,
01:03:17
Speaker
you know, wondering about the integrity of the person that you're dating based on the company he's keeping. Right. Because let me tell you something. But the truth is, he ain't had to tell you nothing. Well, no. She said she's seeing it when they go out. No. This is it's the boyfriend is telling her this. Oh, the boyfriend is telling. I thought she said she was seeing it when she was out.
01:03:38
Speaker
No. Oh, he's breaking the code. He'd be sh... But he often goes out with his best friend who's got a girlfriend more recently, and my boyfriend tells me he cheats on her when he goes out. You know what? Then I question his integrity, because he's breaking man code. You ain't supposed to be snitching all your boy to your girl, where she ain't seen nothing. He the wrong for that one. So you know what? Who's the asshole? Him. He the asshole.
01:04:06
Speaker
ah yeah
01:04:09
Speaker
out there anyway. Right? What you want to leave the people with? Oh, man, just take care. That's all I got for you. That's all I'm going to do. That's all I can
01:04:30
Speaker
Ladies and gentlemen, listen to Tevin Campbell, Tomorrow, freedom themo produced by
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Speaker
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Speaker
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