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Three Headlines: Penguins, T-Pain, and Home Depot Hangovers
25 Plays1 year ago
In this episode of Episodes Unscripted, we play 3 Headlines and a Lie. A penguin travels to Australia, Zuckerberg makes music with T-Pain, and a man wakes up drunk on top of a Home Depot? — one of these headlines is a fake. Can you spot the lie? Tune in!
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Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
All right. What are you thinking about? I'm thinking about Virgos and Leos in the same space and how that goes. It's probably interesting. All right.
00:00:24
Speaker
All right. Welcome to the podcast. I am Scott Felts. I'm joined by Charlie Harkim and the great Shauna Fretwell. So thank you all for being here. We will.
00:00:38
Speaker
Don't say anything like that. thats I don't know where that came from. oh I feel, I feel slighted. Well, you gotta be nice to the girl. and Okay. Oh, easy. Well, politically. Okay. Captain America. Oh boy. Batch me a coffee while you're at it. All right. Uh, we're going to start off by doing three headlines in life. For those of you that don't know, at least myself, I am a huge fan of the morning brew. I still get it.
00:01:08
Speaker
love the Morning Brew, and every Thursday they do three headlines in a lie. So three of these headlines are outrageous, but they are true, and one is a lie. And our goal is to figure out which one is true and which one is a lie. I'm getting my notes ready in case you're wondering why I'm reaching around. I'm not reaching around. Okay. I am making notes.
00:01:29
Speaker
Shout out to the Morning Brew. If you're interested, definitely should sign up for that. It's a great newsletter. um Okay. Three headlines in a lie. Are we all ready? Yes. You definitely don't know these, right? I mean- No, I definitely- You know, I haven't read them. I might know them. Pulling the wool over our eyes, as they say. I have not read these in advance.
00:01:50
Speaker
Perfect. First time I'm reading. You haven't even thought about it then. Nope. So if I'm telling me this for the very first time. if i If I say it, like when I read it, if it sounds stupid, it's because I'm just reading it. Like if I'm. Because you're stupid. Okay. I'm just going to go for it. Um, everyone listening, feel free to play along at home. Number one, New Jersey man woke up on top of a Home Depot, blames bad beer.
00:02:19
Speaker
Um,
00:02:24
Speaker
The first thing I thought of, I can't. I know somebody who did something real dumb and tried to blame bad wine. Hmm. Oh, probably not the first question. But what is bad have to do with it? You know what I mean? Like, oh, it's both bad beer. Right. If it was good beer, you wouldn't be up there. Is there is there any? Remind me how this goes. ah We just get the headline. Yeah, there's no there's no backstory. We don't get we don't even hear a fake or true story. OK. All right. Good.
00:02:53
Speaker
We'll talk. We're going to talk about each one of each. Are you going to give us them all? Give us them all. If you have thoughts, say them now. We will revisit. Well, I was thinking what I was saying. I mean. What does bad have to do with it? What's bad have to do with it? If anything, bad, bad doesn't make you do even more ridiculous stuff, right? Right. The chemical compounds were altered and now I'm on the roof.
00:03:17
Speaker
Now I'm on the top of the home. He became Captain America. Oh, boy. That's a deep dive. Number two. Emperor Penguin travels over 2000 miles from Antarctica to Australia. Impossible first. Oh, why? That sounds very true. Why do I believe that? That sounds so true. It's got to be not true because you want to believe it. This is what about the image 370? Oh, because.
00:03:47
Speaker
They're going to go find that, by the way. Where was it from Antarctica to Australia? Wait, hold up. Yeah. Why is he going? on That's too hot for him. I don't think even instinctually he would. There's a word that lost. I just decided, you know what? I want to be the Amelia Earhart of the penguins. I want to Google that distance so badly.
00:04:13
Speaker
2,000 miles. Over 2,000 miles. Oh, that's what it said. Okay, my bad. 2,000. Yeah, he was Amelia Earhart of the Penguins. He's like, I don't know why I want to, but I really want to go over that. He didn't fly. No, I just meant idea. I know, the idea of traveling. Who's the lady who swam the English Channel? That's who you should say. That's not Amelia Earhart. That's a horrible reference. The idea was, why are you doing that? Just because I really want to do it.
00:04:43
Speaker
But there's not a reason, man. What are you, where are you going to go? oh What kind of penguin was it again? and Emperor. Emperor. Does that have an effect? It does. Okay. And you're assuming it's a man. That's interesting, Scott. female emperor Female penguins can be emperor penguins. It's a fair point. We're going to move on to number three. I don't know if that's true or not. I think they're all male. Obviously, emperor's got to be male.
00:05:08
Speaker
A wayward sea... Moving on. A wayward sea turtle wound up in the Netherlands. ah res Let me read the headline. A wayward sea turtle wound up in the Netherlands. A rescue brought it thousands of miles back home. why why What is that? That's not even... What if he's like, bro, I live here. I don't know why, I just do.
00:05:37
Speaker
Well, scientists know what species are native to what area. Yeah, but ah but are you aware of the polar bear that it's an albino? po not ah It's not a polar bear. It's an albino. The sun bears? Like grizzly bear. It's a sun bear.
00:05:54
Speaker
No, no, Scott, you're not a joke. I'm not a joke. I'm not. It's an albino grizzly bear. Then they're like, what needs just a polar bear? Somebody mistake it for a polar bear and they took him to Antarctica. No, I'm sure it's a joke. It's real. It's not real.
00:06:12
Speaker
just um was a aware my body they were like oh it's a polar bear we need to take him back and then they realized and then it happened to him again they brought him back and someone else said no that's a who can transport bears, because you're not just driving by and picking up and putting a bear in your trunk. People who pick up bears know the difference between a grizzly bear and a polar bear. It was albino. You couldn't tell. It matters structurally. They look completely different. Polar bears' necks for what and the structure of their shoulders. But what I'm saying is... and't that
00:06:48
Speaker
They hate they thought because he was white. They thought he was a polar bear. and so they took him They I don't know, but they did it. There's holes in this. OK, anyway, I'm going to wait for this turtle. Where did does it say where he rescued him back to me? Where's the sea turtle? Come see. Right. The Netherlands are on the the ocean. I don't know. That's why. So know what he thought is coastline. Right. But is it this Denmark?
00:07:18
Speaker
and Is it the Atlantic coast Amsterdam or is it? the Easy Scott easy Scott. I'm asking I don't know the Atlantic coast. What do you mean? Like are they? the the atlantic ocean Right, I think it's probably a little bit of Arctic oceans I Don't know perhaps the sea turtle should head to Australia and the penguin could Yeah, they're mixed up. Let's move on to number four, which, which I unfortunately have the duty of telling everyone that I know is true. That's how these work. I knew I was going to have, I had that bit planned to tell you all, all right, this is unfortunate, but I actually know this is true. It's well, you didn't say it. So we don't know. i didn't Number four, Mark Zuckerberg and T-Pain have been in the studio together. Gross.
00:08:09
Speaker
This is, this is, I understand this to be true. He made a song for his wife, I believe. Did he ask for that? I don't know, but that's what I understand. So we're, we're going off the assumption that was true. I'm very positive that one's true. So the other three, we have the New Jersey man who claims bad beer is the reason he wound up on top of a Home Depot. We have the emperor penguin.
00:08:38
Speaker
who traveled over 2000 miles from Antarctica to Australia. Cause he was just wanted to be the first and a sea turtle who wound up in the Netherlands and rescue team was like, don't worry, we got you.
00:08:54
Speaker
and took them home. I think all these could be true. I think the New Jersey man claiming I, I disagree. Cause I'm like, well, beer has, I mean, good or bad. It doesn't matter what it tastes like. Beer is the reason you were up there, but it could still very much be true. But the, em one I don't know why. And the sea turtle. Okay. But.
00:09:22
Speaker
Maybe he wanted to be there. Right. At what point do you see a sea turtle and assume like the al grizzly bear? And why is that a headline? Because news is weird, man. They don't get much to report on on a random Thursday. but I think that's fake because it's the sea turtle. A sea turtle. arrest You think the sea turtles fake? I mean, it's why is that a headline? They just wanted it to be a headline. I don't know.
00:09:50
Speaker
It's a it could be a local newspaper. It's not like a feeling dumb. No, it's not, you know There could be so many factors at play though because we're gonna assume Scientists are interacting with these animals and know things we don't because we're only getting the headline like I don't think the penguin went to Australia because I I think I guess southern Australia could be cold but I Should my my question is what they're motivated
00:10:19
Speaker
He's just like, I want to be the first penguin and to go to Australia. I think we can take that off the table. I don't think the penguin was like challenging stuff. What is he, where is he going then? For what reason? I mean birds migrate.
00:10:31
Speaker
Wales migrate. So maybe he got a little confused. Burrs migrate. You're telling me that the penguin was migrating from Antarctica. Oh, it's the winner, guys. I'm going to migrate. I mean, he lost his way. Maybe there was blocks of ice breaking off and he's like, oops. I would assume it would have something to do with global warming or climate change. I knew this was coming. I knew that was coming. So it was unintentional. That's what I would assume.
00:10:57
Speaker
I mean, animals do not have the ability to reason. So it's not like he turned around and was like, crap yeah um away I don't think you're giving a penguins enough credit. I think he was like that polar bear special y'all didn't see it It's heartbreaking. They're dying in all these warm places because they left their original habitats that were too warm and theyre you I know one man They're putting them in the net article. He's like, bro. It's not where I live. What are you doing to me? ah Don't worry. I'll put it in the second. I'll pull up the article and read it But I think we're gonna t-pain. I mean that
00:11:34
Speaker
Just sound silly, but. But didn't you say that's the one you saw that was legitimately? Yeah, no, I don't believe him. He's you don't believe me. like Why would you tell us that? Why would you tell us? That's our obligation. That's how that was how we played it. If you know it, you say it. Oh. seen It out in the wild. You can call it out. Only one of them is false. Correct. Yeah. Oh, I thought only one of them was true. And I'm like, why are you telling us?
00:12:02
Speaker
Three headlines and one line. What's the name of this game? I think it's the penguin. I don't know why he's going to Antarctica other than he's telling his buddies, I'm going to be the first penguin to do that. And they're like, how would we know? And he'll be like, I'll be back. The read the the fact that they kind of threw in some numbers and stuff, it feels like they're trying to make it sound yeah like stand out.
00:12:29
Speaker
But it's just I don't think it's to me between the sea turtle and the penguin. I'm on the roof. I'm buying it. I'm going to go with the turtle. Yeah. OK, I'm going with the penguin, Sean. Shoot. Well, I was going to pick one or the other. OK, then do. Yeah. Pick us up. Yeah. You know, it's kind of. Will you read me the turtle one one more time?
00:12:57
Speaker
A wayward sea turtle wound up in the Netherlands. A rescue team brought it thousands of miles back home. I'm going penguins false. I'm going penguin. The way you just read that. Penguins false. But because also I think a sea turtle could go many more miles in the water than a penguin. A penguin's got to hit land at some point before it's done. Sea turtles. No offense penguin. You ain't got what it takes. The penguin does not have what it takes. It's got to stop at some point. Sea turtles don't. OK.
00:13:27
Speaker
All right, so we're all going penguin. Yeah, how would they know, even? I mean, the penguin. What do you again? He's like, look at you first. Let me check your monitor. Yeah. OK, so we're all going penguin penguin. Yeah. Yeah. OK. Dun, dun, dun. Oh, my God. If it's the man on the roof, I speak. It's T-Pain. We made up the New Jersey one.
00:13:55
Speaker
There's a penguin that went all the way to Antarctica. Now, the best part about this game, I will say, is going back and looking at the actual article. Yep. Yeah. What you thought was so false. Um, Emperor Penguin travels over 2000 miles. There's a picture of him on the beach. There's a picture of him. He's just standing there like in Australia. I did it. I assume it's Australia. It's on a sandy beach. Is he okay?
00:14:21
Speaker
Um, he looks great. He's like, why are you guys, the party glasses on and have a vacation. And the penguin appeared November 1st on ocean beach in Denmark, a town in Western Australia and was spotted by a beachgoer. According to a statement provided by provided to USA today by the department of biodiversity conservation and attractions.
00:14:46
Speaker
um A research fellow at the University of Western Australia told the Australian Broadcast Corporation the sighting could be a first for the continent. Right. Because you're in Australia. Just ask around. Hey, has anybody seen this before? This is the first. Imagine being the person who stumbled across the penguin. Imagine being the guy who's going to the news like, Hey, I heard you guys said that was the first. It's not. I saw one before. So, um, the tracked ones have never reached this far. That was a, that was a quote. Um,
00:15:22
Speaker
It is possible the penguin may have been following a current for food that brought it further north. He was really committed. He said, you know what? I hate y'all talk me out of that one. I felt that was very true. You were wrong. but I was wrong either way, but that one sounded. Honestly, well played by the morning brew. They had us so caught up in the penguin and the turtle that we really didn't think that hard about the nature I just feel like it was so it sounds like somebody something somebody Stupid would say an endangered plausible sea turtle that was found about a year ago Some 5,000 miles from its native waters has been released into the Gulf of Mexico according to the Houston Zoo i mean Yeah, that's wait a minute. Wait a minute
00:16:09
Speaker
from the Gulf of Mexico all the way to the Netherlands was found off the coast of Netherlands after becoming entangled in the net of the of a commercial fishing boat. OK, see. ah kind Yeah, so he didn't necessarily swim. He struggled. He struggled. Wow. That's a horrible story. I'm still here. Please stop. ah So he probably. No, they probably put him on the boat and he rode and half the way there.
00:16:38
Speaker
Why would they not take him back? Whoops, my bad, bro. They're like Amazon drivers. They're like, we have a- You're here now, brother. You're here for the ride. but Wow. Okay. Are you going to read the T-Pain one? I got something to say about Home Depot. Go ahead. I think that is true. It might not have been true like in the last week. That's had to have happened at some point.
00:17:07
Speaker
Some guys got drunk and they ended up on top of a Home Depot. Home Depot. Yeah. I mean, and i I feel like that's definitely happened at some point. If not a Home Depot somewhere. Yeah. Some kind of hardware store. Oh, specifically hardware store. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was probably some tents involved. Maybe it was Ace. It could have been Ace. Maybe Lowe's. They were playing orphans. They were like, get a tent and we're going up to the top. Well, I would like to say in addition to being an orphan or when I wasn't being an orphan. I watched a lot of National Geographic. The two had a parallel. If we're not in the woods, then we're gonna okay watch the shows. So you failed the ping one.
00:17:51
Speaker
You just didn't see that episode. let them be able so that My biggest beef is still with this grizzly bear polar bear thing. No, it's a joke. It's it's it's it's a bad joke that he's heard and he delivered it horribly. So then he turned it into. Oh, this is a true story stop bumping this table. It's true. It's a story. Believe it or not.