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The Habits of Mindful Leadership with Steven Howard
32 Plays1 year ago
Mentally exhausted after a long day of work? You're not alone. Overtaxing our brains not only leads to more stress, but it also increases our long-term risk of developing dementia. Discover the habits of mindful leadership that will help you manage your mental load and make better decisions.
Steven Howard is the award-winning author of "Better Decisions. Better Thinking. Better Outcomes. How to go from Mind Full to Mindful Leadership." Learn more and connect with him at https://calienteleadership.com/.
In this episode:
- The physiological impact of overloading our brains
- The symptoms of bad decision-making
- How workplace stress makes us less effective leaders
- The lifestyle factors contributing to dementia risk
- How practicing mindfulness can reverse the trend
- Actionable habits that will make you a better leader tomorrow
- Reducing unconscious bias in decision-making
- The positive outcomes of small mental breaks
Connect with us at SuenoLabs.com. We're currently looking for contributors and podcast guests!
Disclaimer: This show is for informational purposes only. Sueño Labs does not provide medical advice.
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Transcript
Mental Exhaustion and Dementia Risk
00:00:00
Speaker
Do you ever have one of those days where you come home and you are just mentally exhausted? I don't mean physically or even emotionally, but just mentally. Your brain has made too many decisions. There is too much information floating around in your mind to the point where you just can't think about anything. This idea of an over-taxed brain is something that scientists have observed physiologically, but there is a growing body of research that, having too many of these days where the brain is overtaxed, stressed out, full of all kinds of things, actually increases the long-term risk of dementia.
00:00:45
Speaker
And some of the things that are most stressful to us are the ones we can't change,
Introducing Steven Howard and Mindful Leadership
00:00:49
Speaker
right? It's not always easy to switch your job or to change a family dynamic, but there are things we can do to limit the burden on our brains.
00:01:04
Speaker
Today, I talk with award-winning author Steven Howard about developing a lifestyle of mindfulness. What are the best practices? What does science say about it? And how can someone begin?
00:01:23
Speaker
I'm Jimmy Leonard. This is Swenio Labs. Steven, how are you today? Welcome to Swenio Labs. Thank you, Jimmy. I'm doing well. Excellent. Well, we're glad to have you. So today I wanted to talk a little bit about your book. It's called better decisions, better thinking, better outcomes, how to go from mind full to mindful leadership. So that's quite a title. One question that comes to mind is what are you even comparing it to you when you say better, better thinking, better outcomes? Well, better to me is to get to more optimal.
00:02:03
Speaker
outcomes, to ah um as the word suggests, better to something that's a more optimal solution to weigh more options, maybe combined options. But the title of the book is interesting because people often ask me, it says, better decisions, better thinking, and then better outcomes and shouldn't better thinking come first. And then you get better decisions and that's also true. But the reason for the book title is as the book explains, the first decision we have to make is to not get emotionally hijacked, or if we are to get ourselves under rational control and not let the McDonald and our emotions get the better of us, uh, because that impacts our thinking. So the first decision is to.
00:02:48
Speaker
respond, not react and get ourselves under control. And then we can do better thinking and then we'll get the better outcomes. So how did you stumble into this as a passion? I would imagine maybe I'm guessing here you, you had some experiences where you didn't do that. And maybe that yeah made you think, um, you know, what, what would it look like to not be emotionally hijacked?
Research on Alzheimer's and Lifestyle Factors
00:03:09
Speaker
I could probably write a whole book about my emotionally hijacked experiences over the years, but, uh, Um, I got into it, Jimmy. Um, my father, I was living overseas. I've spent most of my life living outside the United States and my father had some health issues. I came back to look after him and it turned out that he had some early Alzheimer's. And so I started studying it.
00:03:32
Speaker
to be his primary caregiver. And of course, at the time I was single and I was thinking, you know, was this hereditary? Is this going to happen to me? And it ain't nobody going to look after me if if I yeah end up with Alzheimer's or dementia. So, so I started researching and then I started understanding that it's not hereditary, that there is a small genetic component to it, but it's really a lifestyle disease and it impacts our decision-making. And then I started talking to the leaders I coach About it and they basically almost all of them said i worry about that when i retire i'm too busy now i can't i can't think about those kinds of things right now.
00:04:10
Speaker
And the more I studied, the more I realized that it's what we do to our bodies in our forties and fifties, maybe even earlier, that has a huge impact on our propensity to get Alzheimer's disease. And it even impacts our decision making before we get Alzheimer's disease. So when I started talking to corporate leaders and said, you know what, this is going to impact your bottom line, I got their exemption. So when I only talked about a health issue, they go, I'm worried about it when I retire. When I talk to him about a bottom line issue and results, they said, I'll sit down and tell me more.
Autopilot Decision-Making in Leadership
00:04:43
Speaker
So that's when I wrote the book. Wow. Okay. So, so what is, like, how did you phrase it that makes it a bottom line issue? Is it that people in their forties and fifties are already having these issues or is it more as your workforce ages, you're going to start seeing it more?
00:04:59
Speaker
You'll see it more as far as Alzheimer's goes, but there's decision-making. You'll see it now. and What happens is you know people get on autopilot. and they keep You see, when you're coaching leaders, you find out they're making the same mistake over and over and over again. and it's um yeah It's a sign of insanity, quite frankly, if you keep making the same decisions and don't i don't get or expect different results, you keep getting the same results. That's a bit of insanity. So um that's when i've ever talked to him and said you know the decisions you're making you're running an autopilot basically so many leaders and when i talk about leaders jimmy i don't mean just ceo's and cfo's i mean anybody's people middle middle managers first line manager supervisors but they're all making decisions day in and day out.
00:05:44
Speaker
But if they're making decisions when they're on autopilot, they're making less than optimal decisions. And that goes back to your first question about how do we make better decisions? How do we get to be better and it's slowing down. Yeah, I would imagine that there's probably some reality where most of this the decisions we make in our lives are autopilot. You know, there's different estimates of how many thousands of decisions you have to make every day. But it's like, you know, I usually have a very similar breakfast. I usually drive the same way to work. I usually wear very similar outfits to work. And, you know, a lot of these micro decisions that add up and then I could see how
00:06:22
Speaker
when you're in those interpersonal relationships, it is maybe easy to fall into that habit of, well, I always do everything the same way, so I'm going to approach this situation the same way too. you It is. and that And for some things, routine, you know, that's fine. It doesn't matter where you put your left shoe on first, your right shoe on first. And if you have laces, do you put your left shoe on and then tie it and then put your right shoe on and tie it or whatever you
Brain Growth and Continuous Learning
00:06:44
Speaker
do. that But it's those other decisions that would make in the and the way you react to people. um But, you know, it's interesting you talk about driving the to work the same way. I was told when I was in high school that our brain stops growing around age 23 to 25.
00:07:00
Speaker
And we now know that's not true. The brain continues to grow well into our sixties and seventies, probably into our eighties, but, you know, having been a lot of 80 year olds around to test. Um, but that's what the brain likes to learn new things. And so when I coach people about this, or I do, webinars on it i say one way to keep your brain sharp is switch it up a bit take a different route to work go go down left two blocks and then go parallel to work in and you'll notice things old there's a new sho store over there while that house just got painted or while that trees bushes are flowering this year so pretty. And the brain likes freshness it likes newness and that's what helps to grow.
00:07:42
Speaker
That's a good challenge. is I wonder if that's an option in Google maps or Waze or Apple maps is mix it up for me. yeah no no just I've never looked into it. oh Recalculating so that when you leave. Yeah, there you go. I guess that's the option is you just you just don't listen to it and then it's going to say, what are you doing? Making the first right hand turn you're supposed to make, go two more blocks and make a right hand turn. It'll tell you how to get there. Don't worry. So one of the things that you said a second ago, Steven, was that so many of the leaders that you coach are on autopilot. and And that makes me think that there's probably people I know, probably myself, if I'm being honest, who who hear you say that and think, well, that's not me. I'm not on autopilot. So what what are some of the symptoms? You know, if I'm, if I'm questioning, if I'm actually making decisions on autopilot, what's a good way to look into the mirror and see if that's true or not?
00:08:37
Speaker
Uh, just every evening when you're driving home, just as you're thinking about the decision made during the day, how many of you think, how many do you say to yourself, darn, I should have thought about that one or darn if there was another one could have done that or, or darn. I should have asked so and so for some more information. So, you know, we'll, we'll, we'll know about it in retrospect. Unfortunately, most of us are not comfortable with reversing our decisions. ah You know, vulnerability is such a strong leadership characteristic these days, but most leaders don't want to be seen as vulnerable. They think that vulnerability is a weakness and it's not. So, you know, go back in the office next morning and to say to your team or say to a particular person, Hey, Jimmy,
00:09:20
Speaker
You know, I've been thinking about that what we talked about yesterday. and You know what? I think there might be a better way. Let's sit down and talk about another option before we get too far down the road here. Many, many leaders won't do that, which is a shame. So would you characterize that as regret? It almost sounds like regret where I'm thinking, darn, I wish I've done that differently. minor form of regret, probably not not something you're going to lose sleep over unless it was a major decision, obviously. um But you know we all make those decisions. And sometimes we make a decision not to do something, and then we regret that that we didn't do it. Darn, I wish I'd bought tickets to that concert. I decided I didn't want to go. I was too busy, but now everyone's talking about how great it is. Darn, I wish I'd seen that movie everyone's talking about, it you know anything in our personal lives. We can regret the things that we decide to do and also things we decide not to do.
Revisiting Decision Processes
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah, and I would imagine that they there's even different categories of those. you know if If the concert already happened, I can't really go back and do the concert again. But to your point of someone at work, someone on my team, I'm going to see them every day. So I do have an opportunity to go back and revisit that, go back to that conversation or that moment. you know That's one thing, Jimmy, though that you use a great word there, revisit. Too many of us don't revisit the decisions we make, whether they're right or wrong, whether they're um even optimal decisions, um you know to to revisit not the decision itself, but the process.
00:10:47
Speaker
How did we make that decision? you know Was it just a gut feeling? did we just Was it on instinct? Did we do some nice research? Did we do sufficient research? Sometimes we do too much research. you know There's a concept called paralysis by analysis where we get too much information and then we can't make or freeze. yeah The other thing I encourage people to do is just you know every once in a while, me once a month, once a week, whatever, just sit back and reflect on some of the decisions you've made recently. and you know Which ones have been optimal which ones have been close which ones have gone astray which ones you need to course correct on but not so much about the decision. What about the process to think about what yeah your process for decision making.
00:11:27
Speaker
I like that. it it Actually, for me, it takes a little bit of the stress off of the outcome because sometimes I can have a good process and it just doesn't work out the way I wanted it to. you Maybe I approached the situation really well, but the result wasn't it what I was hoping for, but I can still be proud of the approach. Yeah, exactly. or Or sometimes something happens ah you know and in the business world. Competitors blindside us. I mean ah tell you what, a lot of people made some really great decisions, strategic decisions in the third quarter of 2019 and from the first quarter of 2020.
00:12:04
Speaker
Along came March and this thing called COVID. and You may have made some really great decisions, but you know the world went topsy turvy. Sure. Yeah, that makes sense. so You talked about your your research into Alzheimer's and how you saw that some of the decisions that we make in our 40s and 50s or even earlier, tell me about that. what What's going on in the body, in the brain that makes a connection between the lifestyle choices we're making and the potential to develop some form of dementia later on.
Lifestyle Choices and Dementia Risk
00:12:38
Speaker
particularly the food we eat in our twenties, thirties, early forties. Um, you know, this, this will scare you. You don't look like you're there yet. So this might scare you. It may scare some of your audience, but men in their forties who path on the most abdominal fat have the highest risk for dementia in their sixties. You know, the brain is the biggest user of oxygen. in our body. And it's also the biggest user of blood. So, you know, anything that affects the heart or the lungs is going to impact the brain. So, you know, being sanitary does don't, you know, not exercising at all, not having the occasional walk. ah Stress, stress is a huge because stress can, you know, thin the blood, the ah blood vessels in our bodies. So all these things, physiologically,
00:13:24
Speaker
will increase our risk for dementia. Now, doesn't say we can prevent it necessarily, but as I said earlier, yeah research now shows that only somewhere around 5% to 7% of Alzheimer's cases are genetic and another 4% or 5% are from head traumas, whether that's a car accident or sporting into sports injury. That really means that 85 plus um causes of Alzheimer's dementia are lifestyle related. So it's it's those you know smoking obviously, ah not getting ah not getting sufficient quality sleep, ah too much stress, and you know just poor eating habits. All those things will contribute to our risk for dementia. The other thing is, unfortunately, for the women out there, um that women
00:14:16
Speaker
have a higher propensity for Alzheimer's than men. And the scientists are now thinking, they haven't quite proven it yet, but they're really moving towards the conclusion that menopause and the hormonal change that women go through naturally is a contributing factor. ah So, you know, if you read the literature, you'll find that um almost like 60, almost two-thirds of the people with Alzheimer's are women, and particularly overweight women, and roughly about one-third
00:14:49
Speaker
will be men. And then again, most of those will be overweight men. I'm talking about obese, you know, heavy, heavy, heavy weight or smokers or just unfit. it makes me think a little bit about the way that we sometimes talk about cancer. I know they're different. And I know it's not a complete parallel. But I think sometimes we have this attitude of, well, everything gives you cancer, you know, you can't avoid it, you know, it's if you can get cancer from food, you can get cancer from going outside, it's, it's almost like we can, as a society have this
00:15:21
Speaker
dismissive, defeated sort of attitude of like, well, you can't prevent it. But then all of the research says something different where, you know, and to your point earlier, it's like, it's not like you're going to get to a zero risk factor. And sometimes there are hereditary things, but there are a lot of things you could do. that really limit your risk of cancer. And I'm thinking about it in the same ways, you know, can, can I guarantee that I'm not going to have issues in my eighties or nineties? That's not what you're saying. But there are a lot of choices that I could be making right now that have other benefits to, you know, just having a healthy lifestyle. Yeah. And you know, and we're not talking, no one suggests you have to run a half marathon or a marathon, but you know, a 20 minute walk.
00:16:05
Speaker
is better than not having a 20 minute walk. Scientists at UCLA in California, one research study they came up with was those who sit most during the day you in meetings all day at the office or at their desk, then come home and sit and sit on the couch in front of the TV yeah or sit like sit in a chair and read a book or whatever. Those who who don't move around, ah they're Their brain actually shrinks about 15% compared to a similar person, um same age, same socioeconomic lifestyle, similar job, who gets a little bit of exercise and and keeps that movement up.
00:16:44
Speaker
So it's what you said earlier about how the brain doesn't stop growing. It it could keep growing. It could actually shrink in a very literal sense too. It will shrink um for all of us. I mean, um, you know, after somewhere around some roughly age 70 or so, but how much it shrinks and also the way the brain ages. I mean, other research show that if you take two people, say say neighborhood, same socioeconomic background, similar type jobs, you sing family size, um, whatever, You put all the wi lifestyle and one is overweight. Uh, their brain will be 10 years older effectively. and You've mentioned a lot of things that to me sounds like their choices outside of work a little bit, you know, at, you know, walking at lunch and I'm in between meetings and things like that. But what about in those work situations? What does it look like to pursue healthier choices when you're in the throes of a meeting?
Effective Meeting Strategies and Productivity Tips
00:17:41
Speaker
Go take a look at your calendar.
00:17:43
Speaker
Everybody take a look. And if you're having back to back to back meetings, figure a way to stop that. um If I was a leader, and i again, I coach leaders now, if you're the person organizing a meeting, call it for 60 minutes, if that's what you want, or 90 minutes. But run it for 45 minutes or run it for 75 minutes. So run the agenda so that you finish 15 minutes early. Because what happens is the brain needs roughly five minutes to kind of digest, process, embed everything you've talked about in those 45 minutes. Then
00:18:18
Speaker
Take a five minute break. Don't look at email. Don't look at text message. You want to call somebody non-work related, a friend, family member. Five, better yet, go outside. Do it outside too if the weather's decent. Just five minutes of refreshing. Give the brain a break. And then five minutes preparing for the next meeting. So that's something all everyone can do. work Because what happens, Jimmy, if you don't, if you're running from one meeting and then you go right into the next meeting, whether it's a virtual meeting or a physical meeting. For the first five minutes of the next meeting, your brain is still processing the first meeting. How many times you've been in a meeting and and somebody asks a question half an hour later and you're recovered it in the first five minutes? Well, it's because they their brain was not there. They're physically present, but the brain was not 100% there. It's still processing whatever they had in the previous
00:19:07
Speaker
half hour, hour, and therefore they're asking those kinds of questions. They're going, we already covered that. why why Why are you bringing them now? Because the brain wasn't there. So give your brain 15 minutes, ah one to digest, five minutes to refresh, and five minutes to plan for the next meeting. I love that. That's, that's really easy. I mean, I say it's easy, but it's really simple. Maybe simple is the better word. It's, it's a simple practice to implement. It doesn't really matter what your industry is. Even if it's not a meeting with people, of of course I'm a writer, I do a lot of writing, but I can even relate to that. If I'm working to try to meet a deadline, it can feel like a meeting where my brain is intensely focused for those 75 minutes. And, and then after.
00:19:50
Speaker
You're exactly right. I do need a break. Yeah. I can't go straight into a conversation with somebody because I've just been very intensely focused on this other topic for the last hour. Absolutely. And so, yeah and I know a lot of people can't control their calendars, but if you can block, like I, like right now on on my calendar. We've blocked this, I think, for 45 minutes. and i have Automatically, it blocks the next 15 minutes on my calendar. so I can't have a meeting right after the song call. The early will be 15 minutes later. and That's because my calendar won't let anybody book it because I i have it set up to put those little box in there. Speaking of writing, Jimmy, here's something that I learned and it was it was when I was writing this book. When we get interrupted, like you're talking about being in flow when you're writing, it can take
00:20:36
Speaker
Up to twenty minutes to get back in the flow now when i when i write i typically write or edit in three hour increments and i would i make a couple coffee every fifty minutes or whatever hour so i would be writing. And i will get to the end of a chapter in the paragraph whatever i go downstairs make some more coffee. And I used to look at my phone, check my emails, check my text messages, see if I need a calling buddy. And I go back and it would take me 12, 15 minutes to kind of figure out where was I? What's what's the next thing I want to do? you know So I spend that time relooking all my notes and everything. Learning this, I now put my phone on airplane mode when I'm writing.
00:21:12
Speaker
So when i do make that coffee and if i look at my phone is like okay steven it's an airplane mode don't touch it. And i may not be consciously thinking about the writing is i'm making the coffee but the back of my brain is and now i find when i go back upstairs with coffee. takes me five minutes to get back into the writing. I'm right back in. I know exactly how to segue into the next chapter. I know exactly what I should be doing. And so it's a much more productive way of staying focused on a key topic like that.
Work-Life Balance: US vs Australia
00:21:42
Speaker
Yeah, I love that. I will often stand up and do jumping jacks or run around in a circle every like 20 or 30 minutes just to to keep the blood flowing, probably look a little bit like a crazy person. But then I sit back down and as you said, I haven't
00:21:57
Speaker
you know, started something else or looked at the phone. And so it it is easier to stay in that zone. So another thing that I wanted to talk about Stephen is, is because you've lived in so many different places, I just think that's such an interesting perspective. When we're thinking about this meeting culture and stressed out culture, and everybody's working all the time culture is, is this an American problem? Or is it a worldwide problem? It's probably worse in America, but it is a worldwide problem. There are a few exceptions, I would suggest. Americans live to work in Australia. They they work to live. they you know if You don't call a meeting on Friday afternoon in Australia because no one will show up yeah well after they go to the pub at noon for their lunch. yeah know No one wants to work after that, so they don't have a serious conversation.
00:22:40
Speaker
yeah they They have a different lifestyle in Australia. Now there are obviously, even in Australia, some industries, I mean the legal industry in Australia, it's like the illegal industry in the United States, very intense. But still, you know this this inability to get away from work, this you know getting text messages from your boss at nine o'clock at night. and so Here's what happens. You get a text message from your boss at nine o'clock at night, two things happen. If you have a significant other, they're going to look at you like, Why are you looking at your messages? You know, we're having quality time here. And then if you reply to it, it's like, you know, what's going on? I thought, you know, we're having a conversation here or, you know, watching a movie together or whatever we're doing together. and ah But the other thing that happens, and this is why bosses have to be very careful about this. If I get that message, one of the things that will go through my brain and everybody's brain
00:23:31
Speaker
Okay. i'll I'll answer tomorrow, but then I'll think, what if Jimmy answers it? What if Susan, him you know, we're all competing next promotion, the next thing. So bosses don't have to understand the pressure that they're putting people under. Now I've got a client, great gentlemen, and I'll paraphrase what he says and in his messages. And he literally lives this. He says the bottom is a message, is something along these lines. yeah We operate in a 24-7 nonstop world. I am sending this message when it is convenient for me. I only expect you to reply
00:24:02
Speaker
when it's convenient for you. I love that. I love that. That's a very fresh perspective on work messages. Yeah. And it so and and and and he he lives that. This guy's been my client now for five or six years. I've never heard anybody say that he complained because they didn't respond quickly enough to his messages. So, you know, you can do that. You can cue your messy and maybe you work, maybe you're working. That's fine. I do that too. I work, I work on Sunday afternoons. I don't work Friday afternoons typically. I like to have my Friday afternoons off. And so I'll, but I'll Sunday afternoon, I might, but sending messages to people I work with, but what I do is I'll cue them up. I'll just send, set the option for, to be delivered at nine 30 the next morning. And then it's off my mind. I've done it, but I'm not bothering somebody on a Sunday evening there.
00:24:48
Speaker
That is actually my favorite feature in Slack to schedule the message. And I do the same thing, and especially if it's a team I'm leading because exactly what you talked about, I don't want to put that pressure. So um everything that I want to tell people I'll schedule to just show up throughout the day. And then sometimes I time it in a weird way where they're getting messages from me in a different meeting while I'm doing something else. And they'll look at me like, did you just Slack me? Like, no, i I scheduled that like a day ago. So I'm glad to know I'm not the only person who does that.
Mindfulness and Communication Practices
00:25:15
Speaker
That's great. And what I also hear is that other thing I do, I'll schedule a message to send it 9 12 or 9 52 because everyone's scheduled for 9 AM or 9 15 or 9 30. So they're getting batch messages and mine'll be just one of several that come through at nine o'clock. So I do it like a weird time, 9 12, 9 23, 9 47. Yes. They aren't going to get a lot of messages on those odd in between times.
00:25:41
Speaker
I love it. i I looked at some of your training materials on on your website, and one of the the things that stood out to me was you talked about how when we are more mindful and intentional in our decision making, one of the things that can happen is it can reduce some of the bias that we carry into decision making, some of that unconscious bias. And I thought that would be interesting to talk about for a minute. What what do you mean by that? Well, we all have biases. Sometimes they're conscious. Sometimes they're semi-conscious or unconscious biases. So here, here could be a bias. I don't like Tommy. You know, Tommy and I had an argument three weeks ago.
00:26:19
Speaker
and So Tommy raises something to meaning, and because it comes from him, I discount it. but If I pause and stop and and put that aside, put my feelings for Tommy aside and think about, okay, what did you just say? are What is that he's talking about? Okay, well, can I build on that idea? Or is that an idea we want to go with? Is that an idea we don't want? But now I'm only focusing on the idea, not not not the fact that it came from him. It's not It's not the source, it's the idea itself. Or most importantly, and what I suggest everyone should do, anytime you're in a conversation with people or a meeting, use the word and instead of but. So somebody throws something out and says saying, yeah, but we could do this other thing. Say, okay, and we could also do this, or and we could also consider this and try and build on each other's ideas rather than
00:27:10
Speaker
Knocking them down because unfortunately is human beings and you know we are in very competitive societies these days particular workplace so we get attached to ideas and if you don't like my idea that we think you don't like me. Are it hurts my credibility so build on people's ideas or use the word and even a though you want to do something different. Like i said you can always say and we could also consider this option be. I like that. I could see it kind of going the other way too. You give that good example, but sometimes I think there are people in my circles who I maybe put a little bit on a pedestal where I think, well, just because someone said it, you know just because Steven said it, it's got to be the right answer. It's got to be the right way to do it. um you know This person's a designer, so if if they've got an idea, it's got to be the right way to do it.
00:27:59
Speaker
And I could see how that could work that way too of just really thinking critically of is, is this the best? Is it the only thing is it the only option? Yeah, bias is not always negative. I mean, like you just said, that person's a designer, you have a bias towards their design capability, and their design thinking. um But as you said, if you, you know, look at your book covers, and how many times have you said, okay, I like that and I would like us to do something different or to consider this and you know, you start working together, you get collaborative creativity. If someone is maybe newer to this idea of being mindful, thinking about how they're making decisions, what are some really basic starting points that someone could put into their routine even tomorrow?
00:28:46
Speaker
Oh, that's a great question, Jimmy. And, and um, the first one comes with my mind. I don't know about you, but when I was a child, my mother used to tell me things like, you know, Steven, when you get angry at a, you know, I'm talking about six years old type stuff. You get angry, another child, you can't throw a block at him. You can't throw a toy at him or you can't hit him or you can't yell at him, you know, count to 10. And I just thought that was, you know, an old wives tale and how they thought that was mother talking. But now scientists have proven structurally in our brain, the back part of our brains when the amygdala lies and it controls our emotions. Our rational center of our brain is at the forefront, the prefrontal cortex.
00:29:22
Speaker
When we get emotionally hijacked, we get angry. You know, we all it happens to all of us. The amygdala takes over and this is why we get, you know, we start yelling at people or, you know, the driver cuts us off and we start shaking our fists at another driver in a car knowing that's not going to do any good, but we do it anyway. When we decide to get ourselves under control, let the prefrontal cortex take over again, it takes roughly eight seconds for a prefrontal cortex to take over from the amygdala. Well, that's roughly counting to 10. So when we feel ourselves, you know ah understand ourselves, we all have different symptoms. I know when I when i get angry or nervous, my palms sweat. They start to get moist. Other people will get tension in their shoulders or the bottom of the back of their
00:30:09
Speaker
the lower back or you know so in their stomach they'll start to feel nauseous or whatever. We all have different symptoms and when anxiety hits us or bad emotions hit us. Understand that and that is that's a sin a signal that we're about to get emotionally hijacked. If we pick up on those signals and just say to ourselves, stop. And one of the best ways to do this is we can't just necessarily say, Jimmy, stop, I need to pause. One of the best thing would be is ask a question. Okay, Jimmy, tell me more about that thought. So maybe I'm angry with you. Tell me more about how that happened, how it came up. By throwing it back to you and listening to you and breathing deeply, physiologically, the anger and the emotions will subside.
00:30:52
Speaker
And then I'm in a better position to make a decision or to respond to somebody rather than react to somebody, bring it in. And then big exhale, do that for 45 seconds or so. Automatically your body will calm down. It can't help itself. and Another good reason to schedule emails when you think about it, I kind of have a rule for myself that if I get an email that, that makes me a little fired up, that I am not going to respond to it right now. because I don't trust myself to respond to it right after I've read it. Reflect on it. Maybe tone the language down if you need to. Sometimes you you know what it's just sometimes quite honestly, ah scheduling emails can be helpful because sometimes you'll go back to it in 20 minutes later, not because you're angry or something. You think, oh, I need to add this other point because the brain may still be working on it. You've you've hammered out an email real fast or to respond to somebody.
00:31:48
Speaker
If you queue it up to send maybe even an hour later, two hours later, you still have time now to add to it. If you think of another point or another clarification point, another example, whatever you need to, to make that email more effective. Unfortunately, email is very efficient, but it's not a very effective way of communicating. Well, Steven, it's been a fascinating conversation. Where can listeners go to learn more about the work you do? Well, LinkedIn is probably the best. You'll find Steven Howard. Look for the Steven Howard under Greater Los Angeles area. My um company website is called Caliente.
00:32:25
Speaker
leadership dot.com. Caliente, many of you know, is a Spanish word for hot. The second definition of Caliente is passionate and I'm passionate about leadership. So it's Caliente, C-A-L-I-E-N-T-E, leadership, all one word dot.com. And there's email address there. There's contact information. There's a lot of good resources there. I'm ah a heavy reader. So every month I put under the resources page links to articles on brain health, on decision-making.
Resources for Brain Health and Caregiving Challenges
00:32:56
Speaker
And I actually put you the title, the article, the name of the publication, and I actually give you the hyperlink to it. I can't, you know, all you have to do is click on it and it takes you right to the, to the article.
00:33:05
Speaker
So I can't make it much easier for people, but I'd love to love to share information with people. So that's the, that's probably the easiest place to contact me, find out about what I'm doing, um read more about brain health. Also, if you're really interested in this topic on my YouTube channel, which is called Steven Howard on leadership, there is an eight part series videos, all five to eight minutes. So we're not talking, you know, very lengthy videos, but five to eight minute videos called building and maintaining long-term brain health. It gives you all kinds of tips and techniques to really think about how do you build a long-term brain health for yourself, for your family members, for your friends. Yeah, it's really investing in something that matters in all aspects of your life. I think we can give five to eight minutes for that. It does because we started off about talking about my father as his primary caregiver. Let me tell you something.
00:33:59
Speaker
you know ah Within a few years, there's going to be 10 million Americans suffering from Alzheimer's and dementia and stroke. And when you're the primary caregiver to a family member, it is financially exhausting. It is physically exhausting. It is mentally exhausting. So yeah I wouldn't wish it on anybody. So if you can take the steps today, there's an old Chinese saying, ah the best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. The second best time is today. I say the same thing about your brain health. The best time to start thinking about your long-term brain health is in your 30s. Second best time is today. It's never too late to think about your long-term brain health no matter what age you are. I love it. Well, Steven Howard, thank you so much. My pleasure, Jimmy. Great conversation. I enjoyed talking with you.
00:34:48
Speaker
Swinyolabs is a show about sleep, memory, and dreams. For more content, visit our blog at Swinyolabs.com and connect with us to learn more about how you can share your story related to brain health and the daily habits that help us to rest and live better.
00:35:07
Speaker
Thanks for joining. We'll be back soon.