Transcript
Chris: Welcome back to another episode of Mythic Giraffe Podcast. I'm Chris.
emailisslow?: I'm Ron and i that was very quiet this time.
Chris: Oh, really?
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: it's loud for me. hu
Chris: It's a a lovely, blustery day.
emailisslow?: It is a blustery day to the point where my damn trash can blew down the street.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah, it's nice. It's okay because it met my neighbor's trash can who would also have moved into the street.
Chris: yeah
Chris: Oh, okay. Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's fun.
Chris: yeah Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. Like mid-morning. We're like, oh, you know, let's take the hounds out for a lap. We got like halfway through the neighborhood. I said, we're not making a second lap.
emailisslow?: We did that.
Chris: I mean, I had a knit cap on, gloves, coat. Nope.
emailisslow?: We had yesterday, the wife and I, we had the little park behind us and we're like, I usually walk two laps because it's a mile.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: We got through one mile. She's like, I'm so cold.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
emailisslow?: um you know I had my winter shorts on.
Chris: Okay. Are they like fleece lined? Okay.
emailisslow?: No, they're just the same shorts I wear in summer. but yeah
emailisslow?: But I was like, okay, it's fine. it's cold it's It's not that it's cold. It's just that it's so damn windy and my face is getting wind burnt.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Right. That's the thing. If it wasn't for the stupid wind that again, nobody wants.
Chris: God.
emailisslow?: Nobody wants it.
Chris: There's not a single person that's, you know, again, I know I've said this multiple times on this podcast, but There's no one that wakes up and goes, yay, it's windy today, except for sailboat pilots and kite enthusiasts.
emailisslow?: Maybe the people that are doing so er wind farms, they might like it too. Oh.
Chris: Yeah, but I've heard that if it's too windy, that they have to shut them down. So, yeah.
emailisslow?: Well, it's been too windy in all of 2025.
Chris: Well, that no, it's because there's a maniac who... And then there's the little maniacs who are like, oh gosh, it's an eyesore. If you can see something 10 miles offshore, you've got eagle eyes.
emailisslow?: Right.
Chris: People are stupid.
emailisslow?: As they dump diesel fuel and into the ocean and yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Oh, I don't need this beer can anymore.
Chris: I gotta have the the white marlin out open.
emailisslow?: eight
emailisslow?: Which, they rarely ever catch a white marlin. Which says something, because they're always like, well, back in the day, we used to catch a lot of white marlins.
Chris: Right.
Chris: Hmm.
emailisslow?: hu
Chris: Let's ponder this.
emailisslow?: Huh. What do we think's going on here? Hmm.
emailisslow?: Maniacs.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: Speaking of Blustery Wind, I have a rant about the most useless invention that's ever existed.
Chris: Not the windbreaker.
emailisslow?: It is not the windbreaker. It's the god damn hot air blower in the but men's bathrooms. They're useless. All they do, they you know, they're the hand dryer thing.
Chris: The hot air blower. you're talking about the stupid hand dryer thing? oh all that does is just spray water everywhere.
emailisslow?: yeah It gets water all over the floor and the walls and my hands come away moist.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Who is this for?
Chris: Yeah. Inevitably, i am wiping my hands on my pants.
emailisslow?: Right! I could have just skipped a skit, gone up to a stranger, put my hands all over their clothes, and then moved on with my life.
Chris: Maybe that's what I'll start doing.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: That's simply just wait for somebody to come in and vroom, vroom.
emailisslow?: It's... It's terrible. They're terrible.
Chris: yeah no well i think i read somewhere that they actually like spread more germs
emailisslow?: They can't be good for anything. They're not energy... They can't be energy efficient.
emailisslow?: Of course they do. with They're blowing germs all over the place. They're literally, if you go by the one in my gym, you could see where the water spots underneath the damn things are. They're gross.
emailisslow?: Ugh. Yeah. And then you just come out and you're like, oh, God, I gotta wipe my hands.
Chris: yeah yeah uh-huh yeah Hand dryers spread bacteria through airborne dispersal, poor hand washing, and fecal matter.
emailisslow?: That's fun.
Chris: Yeah, paper towels are the best.
emailisslow?: That's fun.
emailisslow?: Yeah. and I mean, I understand like, that's not true. All paper towels except the ones the city of Salisbury buys are the best.
Chris: Come on now, those tissue papers are great.
emailisslow?: I challenge you to wash your hands in the city of Salisbury and use one paper towel.
Chris: There's no way.
emailisslow?: That's impossible.
Chris: No way whatsoever.
emailisslow?: First off, you'll never get one out of that dispenser.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
emailisslow?: Especially the one that's
Chris: well Well, it's because yeah they don't make that size paper towel anymore. So, yeah.
emailisslow?: Right. Yeah. So, i you'll never use just one of those things. Ever. They're terrible. We're just going to go back to the old school way of just having towels everywhere.
Chris: A towel? Yeah. Just issue everybody a towel.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Here's your towel for the day.
Chris: We could monogram them. Yes.
emailisslow?: That's true. That's true. It's
Chris: Yes. God. Yeah. See, like, we got a rookie coming on. All right. Here's your pants. Here's your t-shirts.
emailisslow?: your towel.
Chris: Here's your turnout gear. Here's your towel.
emailisslow?: It's fair.
emailisslow?: You know, there is nothing better in a hot summer day than wiping your face with a towel that's been sitting in the engine all day.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
emailisslow?: That's, you know, been used to wash cars and clean up spills around fire.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. i i mean, that waxy buildup on it doesn't... Yeah.
emailisslow?: The worst part is like when I go in the morning to like change out the towel that sits um in the spot by my... i'm always like, this one looks less dirty than this one.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: about this one my face?
Chris: Uh-oh.
emailisslow?: And some maniac at Station 1, who if I ever find out who it is, there will be a reckoning that has never been come with before. For the first... The last six years, we've had...
emailisslow?: One cupboard for shop towels, you know, like the cleaning engine towels, and one cupboard for bath towels, and some maniac has mixed them up.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: They're still piled up, but they're mixed up in between each other, and it drives me batty.
Chris: Why would you? Yeah. Yeah, that was always the thing on shift. like You had to take a shower and you grab the quote unquote towels that we have at work and you have to grab three of them because they're you know hand towels yeah
emailisslow?: yeah we got a nice thousand station one now i'll give that thankfully but uh that's about all let's still keep them separated you know they don't need to be in the same
Chris: i can guarantee you at who whatever maniac did that at their house they have their towels separated
emailisslow?: of course they do like for
emailisslow?: why that My world doesn't even live where my towels get put away. My wife hate and hates it because we have towel racks. We have two towel racks. I wash the towels once a week and put them on towel rack.
Chris: okay yeah right
emailisslow?: I don't need to put them in the closet. If she washes the towels, they go into the closet and then I'm like, oh I need to take a shower. Fuck, I gotta go to the closet. And they're always buried in the back of the closet. It's
Chris: is this like some kind of weird torture yeah yeah wait what i well at least you realize it before you get in the shower yeah
emailisslow?: I don't know. We only have two towels each. It's not like that they have to stack up somewhere.
emailisslow?: Sometimes. Sometimes. Because I usually leave one on the back of the bathroom door.
Chris: Okay.
emailisslow?: Ready to go. you know I'm ready for emergencies.
Chris: Hmm. What kind of emergency is that?
emailisslow?: oh
emailisslow?: You never know.
Chris: Yeah, I guess so.
emailisslow?: I work in the fire department, man. You can't ever take a crap or shake a shower in peace.
Chris: Oh, God, that was always the worst.
emailisslow?: It's one of the worst things about my job.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: You have to take your crap before shift. And at 6.20 in the morning when I'm taking my you know morning deuce, if a call comes in, sorry, C-Shift, you didn't get relieved earlier today.
Chris: Right, yeah. ah
emailisslow?: on your own.
Chris: Yeah, go get them, C-Shift.
emailisslow?: Yep.
Chris: I'm committed.
emailisslow?: Yep. Yep.
emailisslow?: Look, most days, you get up early. Some days, it's not going to happen.
Chris: I mean, that's just how the cards get dealt.
emailisslow?: It is. And nothing makes me need to take a morning poop like driving to work.
emailisslow?: don't know why.
Chris: Oh, yeah. ah See, if you went to work and you had a cup of coffee, that would really get it going.
emailisslow?: Yeah, thank God I don't drink that swill.
emailisslow?: So did you have a successful yule?
Chris: Yeah, it wasn't bad.
emailisslow?: The log's still burning.
Chris: visitorss Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, she'll be burning. I bet you'll.
emailisslow?: It was a day.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the fun thing is when we went to my parents' house, my mother has digitized the old home movies or had them digitized.
Chris: So we got to watch a bunch of those. So the kids got to see how big a dork I was when I was a kid.
emailisslow?: Did you go
emailisslow?: in the attic and watch it dressed up in your grandmother's clothes?
Chris: No, no, no, no.
emailisslow?: No?
Chris: Yeah, no. The first couple were silent. And the kids are what's their sound? I'm like, well, these were on the old super eights. So this was reel to reel that taped this.
Chris: But yeah, yeah. They got to see. Yeah. Just they're like, you didn't wear a shirt. I was like, well, I would grew up on a farm. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah! You know, there's a lot of pictures of me at Christmas with shirt on.
Chris: yeah Yeah.
emailisslow?: That's the weird thing about being a kid. i don't think that exists anymore.
Chris: Yeah. no and No, I see some maniacs post their kids on social media. Yeah. They're, got shorts on and that's about it oh yeah oh yeah the one they were like is that a rat tail it's like yes yes it was so that was my padawan braid ah oh yeah yeah yeah that was a bowl cut you could draw a line i was like yes you could because that's that that's how you tell it was a good bowl cut
emailisslow?: The mop-ass hair from the Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'm glad I missed that one. just had the bowl cut.
emailisslow?: Nope. I had bowl cuts and little overalls. had many pictures of a kid. I don't know why I had overalls. I don't understand the convenience of that for my parents.
emailisslow?: I don't know. just was the the fashion of the times, I guess.
Chris: yeah yeah
emailisslow?: You wore overalls.
Chris: yeah we uh we made it all the way up to my 18th birthday that was a fun video yeah yeah yeah My girlfriend at the time was in it.
Chris: You know, the kids, oh Hey mom, look at that. That's his old girlfriend. She's like, yeah, that was, you know, 30 years ago. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Like a
Chris: But we noticed as I'm sitting there opening up cards, I, so I'm 18, my brother's 12, opening up the cards. i'm like, Oh, you know, thank you. Put it down. And then I put money beside it.
Chris: I get the next card. I'm opening it up. And my little brother, just sneaks his hand over, grabs the money and pockets it.
emailisslow?: Ho!
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'd be sending him a... Hey, yo. Cough up my birthday money.
Chris: Oh, no. Like five minutes later in the video, he got called out. So, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: That's a... Yeah, I guess that's what little brothers are for. Man,
Chris: And just some of the questions my children asked during those, like the earlier movies, we ah my dad worked at DuPont.
emailisslow?: realize...
Chris: bunch of the DuPont people went on vacation together down Ocean City. And one of them is Darren Scott's, um yeah, his sister-in-law. Yeah. Her dad and my dad were really good friends.
Chris: But so there's videos with her in there. And they're like, who's that? I said, oh, you know, it's Miss Kimmy. Who? yeah She used to be in the least. Oh, you know her? it's like I've said hi to her every time I've seen her. Yes, we know each other.
Chris: i mean But that's so-and-so's mom and dad. You you know them? Yes. It's a small town.
emailisslow?: You all live on the shore. There's like 40 people in your towns.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: What are you talking about?
Chris: ah
emailisslow?: Of course you know each other.
Chris: Yeah. It's just, yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Meanwhile, I don't even know my neighbors' names.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: We finally found out one of our neighbors last names because they dropped off Christmas cookies.
emailisslow?: Oh.
Chris: Yeah. Which they were not good.
emailisslow?: Oh.
Chris: Yeah. It was like part of the flour was like unbaked or something. I don't know. It just tasted weird.
emailisslow?: My...
Chris: Of course, I ate it on the way to like run an errand. So I've got a whole mouthful of cookie. I'm like.
emailisslow?: I had zero Christmas cookies this year.
Chris: Oh, that's sad.
emailisslow?: Eh, it's not.
Chris: Yeah. Okay.
emailisslow?: Well, it's not. I'm more than okay with it, you know, because I got the super, super, super pre-diabetes, according to our...
Chris: super super super pre-diabetes
Chris: oh golly day well no no that's the thing you have to eat the cookies so you get the pre-diabetes because you're too low what the
emailisslow?: Right, yeah, that's true.
Chris: right never heard of it. What? Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's
emailisslow?: okay. She also told me I needed to have a sleep study. We're talking about our work physical and the nurse practitioner said, oh, you need to have a sleep study. I said, well, I don't snore and I sleep like a baby. Just ask my wife.
emailisslow?: Well, you have a thick neck. I lift weights? That's the goal of lifting weights is to have a thick neck.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: You know, I do shoulder shrugs for a reason. Oh,
Chris: I yeah it's not you don't have a thick neck because of the eastern shore neck.
emailisslow?: and I also have a thick neck because i have the Whismur Waddle.
Chris: to whisper ah
Chris: The whismur waddle.
emailisslow?: Yeah, it's a thing. That's why all the whismers have beards.
Chris: wow Yeah. That's smart.
emailisslow?: And I'm the dumbass who chose a profession that couldn't wear a beard.
Chris: Two years.
emailisslow?: Two years and
emailisslow?: ten months?
emailisslow?: Is that right? Yeah.
Chris: Sure.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'm just trying to figure out how I can check out a couple months early remember david c was like retired like eight months before he retired oh so it's got a fake ma fake have any fib
Chris: because he had a fib.
Chris: Yeah. He didn't fake it, but yeah. Because I clearly remember. we were downstairs at headquarters and we heard a thump and Runkles goes, but the fire chief fell out.
emailisslow?: oh wait passed out
Chris: And then Lorenzo came stomping down steps fire chief down fire chief down. We're oh shit.
Chris: Which it kills me because paramedic, why did you run downstairs?
emailisslow?: Great. Why don't you, you know, take care of him?
Chris: Because Knowing that, if he ran downstairs, he left the man in the care of Martha and Paula.
emailisslow?: That's fair. Yeah.
Chris: Oh, God.
emailisslow?: yeah I just, you know, just try figure out how I can just use up all my time at once and leave. You know, all the extra time I have.
Chris: Work a deal out with the city.
emailisslow?: Yeah! Hey! Just let me out early.
Chris: yeah or else I will burn this place to the ground.
emailisslow?: No, because they want that. Then the insurance kicks in.
Chris: Oh, no, no, I meant like, you know, about stories, you know, like on people burn them to the ground.
emailisslow?: I luckily don't have any of that. Oh, I'm sorry.
Chris: I can give you some.
emailisslow?: No. I've got blackmailed everybody. Don't come after me, people.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'm safe.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Hmm.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Now we're all officially older, moving into this new year.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. ah Yeah. yeah yes So the other day i was going into the grocery store and this young lady reporter, she's like, hi sir.
emailisslow?: I don't know why.
Chris: hi she's like, do you have a couple of seconds to talk on air? was like, ah, she's like, I'm talking to people about their new year's resolutions. I'm like, I don't really do that. Oh, even better. Would you talk about that?
Chris: No. I went in and felt bad. Like the whole time I'm in the store, i was like, if she's still out there, I'll say something. But she was gone by then. So.
emailisslow?: Yeah, probably because she was rethinking her life choices after getting blown off by everybody.
Chris: the
emailisslow?: What am
Chris: Oh, stop. Evidently. My oldest knows her. So.
emailisslow?: I?
Chris: Cause yeah. Cause she, as I walked up, she was nice hat. I was like, thank you. And I realized I had Maryland hat on. She's like, yeah, I'm a senior at Maryland. Like, okay. And then told, you know,
Chris: when I got home, my wife was like, oh, that was so-and-so. was like, okay.
emailisslow?: It is funny that in our official capacities, you can talk to anybody in the world.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: You tell me to talk to a reporter like right now, there's no fucking way.
Chris: but Yeah.
emailisslow?: ah
Chris: that That was the other fun thing with my half day of work yesterday. had to do three fricking interviews.
emailisslow?: Wow.
Chris: One with BOC and two with MDT.
emailisslow?: And there's nothing going on.
Chris: No, ah you could tell.
emailisslow?: it's like what
Chris: the The one was about how MIH has improved the opioid numbers. So I was like, And MDT was about the Jimmy Malone Cancer Act thing being passed in Maryland, but doesn't affect us. It's only for counties who are self-insured.
Chris: And then while I was finishing that, she was like, oh. And actually the young lady who tried to ask me questions in front of the supermarket was supposed to come back later that day to talk about fireworks at New Year's Eve. So she's like, can I just go ahead and ask you? was like, sure. She's like, so fireworks on New Year's Eve. I said, don't do them.
Chris: okay and She just kind of looked at me. Yeah.
emailisslow?: What other answer would you give?
Chris: I was like, yeah, you know, if you get your whirly jigs and your snarly pops and the I said leave it to the professionals.
emailisslow?: yeah i
Chris: I said get one of those glow sticks, get an LED, do something. But yeah. no that I tried to plug that.
emailisslow?: Support the city. you go to the but New Year's. a Ball drop at City Salzburg.
Chris: I said, yeah we've got great things down New Year's Eve. We'll have you know plenty of protection down there, fire and police. Yeah. Be safe.
emailisslow?: Be safe. i had I had a weird interaction at work.
Chris: Don't. God.
emailisslow?: and i I don't know that I handled it correctly. I'm going ask you professionally. <unk>
Chris: ah Okay.
emailisslow?: So AT&T called the sales rep for AT&T called.
Chris: Oh
emailisslow?: He's like, I'd love to come in and talk to you guys about FirstNet or whatever bullshit thing they always could go about, which is a personal opinion only, personal opinion only, not the opinion of C.A.
Chris: my god. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Salisbury, a total scam.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Doesn't have anything to do with anything.
Chris: No, it doesn't. oh You'll get priority. Sure, I will.
emailisslow?: Right. Yeah. My mother has it. And she's like, well, I can't priority because I'm a nurse.
Chris: Yeah, exactly.
emailisslow?: I said,
Chris: he Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
emailisslow?: You're not an emergency responder. You've not worked in a hospital in 25 years. What are you talking about? You're a nurse. Yes, you have a card. Anyways. And so I told the guys, I'm sorry, we can't really have solicitors coming to the firehouse to talk to people.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's just not really appropriate.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's kind of my viewpoint. I don't really know the answer.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: That's what I went with.
Chris: That's something, if they want to do something like that, they have to go through the city.
emailisslow?: Yeah, it's like there's things you can do, but you can't do it through me.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: yeah just
Chris: You should send them to, like, Westside Fire Department.
emailisslow?: but also like what what do you think's gonna happen you're gonna come in there and be like oh you guys should hear about first day oh yeah we'll all change our cell phone plans today that's what i was planning on do on my work day speaking of that side tangent this morning i get a phone call i was in there eating my breakfast get a phone call it was like a philadelphia number like that's weird i'll answer anyways
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: I'd like to ah hear about the condition of your house so I can buy it.
emailisslow?: My house isn't for sale. And then he got upset. He's like, what do you mean I'm calling you to get to about the condition of your house? I said, I'm not interested in selling my house. And if I was, I wasn't going to do it to you over the phone.
Chris: Sir, sight unseen, $1.5 million. dollars
emailisslow?: Yeah, exactly. if you give me $1.5 million, dollars you can have the house. ah I won't even pick up my stuff. I'm out. But apparently, i was talking to my mother.
emailisslow?: She gets phone calls all the time about my house.
Chris: Really?
emailisslow?: People call her all the time. Like, I'm interested in buying this ha this house at $2.89. I shouldn't say my address.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: You know. i
Chris: There will be even more.
emailisslow?: and but right And she's like, I have nothing to do with that house. That's not my house. And she's never been on the loan. She's never been on a deed. She's never lived here.
Chris: Wow.
emailisslow?: i don't know i don't know why they call her, but they call her apparently a lot about my house.
Chris: Huh?
emailisslow?: So, fun facts.
Chris: Well, I get texts every now and again for Robert. You know we are still interested in your property on permanent drive. I've never won. My name's not Robert.
Chris: And two, I have no property on permanent drive.
emailisslow?: of
Chris: Huh?
emailisslow?: Does it ever work? Does somebody call? it just it This never worked, right?
Chris: I can't.
emailisslow?: Oh, I wasn't thinking of selling in my house, but since you've called...
Chris: m
emailisslow?: Sure.
Chris: Yeah. Let's see. We got a cold call like a, don't know, probably a year ago. ah this is so-and-so from GMC.
Chris: Yeah. You guys bought the terrain from us a few years ago. Okay. Do you want to trade it in? Did I stop by to trade it in? Well, no.
Chris: Then no. And I seriously asked, i was like, does this ever work? he He got kind of a little upset with me.
emailisslow?: right well that's what's the weirdest thing about going for me is like the guy got mad at me like yo brud you're calling you're cold calling me trying to buy my house what's wrong with you get upset when i say i'm not interested in moving all my shit out of my house and leaving to a cold call i'm sorry i apologize i should move
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Right.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Pardon me for yeah interrupting your day, sir. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Jackasses. We really are living in the worst times.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Everything has gotten worse.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Our stupid credit card got hacked the other day.
emailisslow?: Nice.
Chris: yeah Yeah. Sarah text me. Did you make a purchase at Aldo zone? was like, oh, crap. Maybe because I was looking at something the other day because one of the sensors going up in her car. I was like, oh maybe I accidentally clicked it and put it in the cart or something. I don't know. She's like, it was a battery.
Chris: was like, And then she looks it up and it was like a battery and it was being delivered to someplace in like Newport News or somewhere in Virginia. you know, we got the bank on it immediately, but she calls that AutoZone and they're like, yeah, we can't cancel that order.
Chris: She's like, but it's a fraudulent order. And they're like, you have to talk to your bank. She's like, talked to our bank. But now you got to talk to your bank. We can't do anything about that. She's like, I'm just trying to save you from losing a battery and you know not getting paid, but whatever.
emailisslow?: Right.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'm not paying for this battery either way.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: So the only thing that's screwed here is you.
Chris: Yeah. Hmm. Hmm.
emailisslow?: you don't want cancel it.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: Cool. Cool. Yeah, I had that happen. They called me and they're like are you, did you just make a purchase in Texas at a, don't know, some grocery store? i'm like, no. i don't Like, I'm not in Texas. I'm in Delaware.
Chris: Why, yes, I reckon I just did.
emailisslow?: Oh. yeah But then they're like, I'm like, so call the police. Oh, we don't want to get involved.
Chris: want to get it full.
emailisslow?: So you're just letting these people get you get, these people are all on camera. You know who did it.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Go after them.
Chris: ah
emailisslow?: Whatever, I don't, it's inconvenienced me for a day.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. cause Well, the biggest inconvenience is now I got relink stuff.
emailisslow?: That's not true.
emailisslow?: That's what I was gonna say, the way can relink all my goddamn crap.
Chris: yeah well yeah that's one thing but yeah sure topic one it will yeah this will be a this is the fifth
emailisslow?: And maybe you'll figure out all the crap you don't need.
emailisslow?: Well, we're gonna move on to topic one.
emailisslow?: All right, well, it's the end of the year. This will be out in the new year, I'm assuming.
emailisslow?: um But I figured we'd talk through some things from last year.
Chris: hmm
emailisslow?: Mostly I wanted to see how many of these things we've either heard of, played, or so or seen.
Chris: Okay.
emailisslow?: So I'm go to go the top 10 movies 2025. twenty twenty five This is just from a Google search.
Chris: All right.
emailisslow?: I didn't pick. This is just sales. Zootopia number two.
Chris: I haven't seen it yet, but I want to.
emailisslow?: haven't seen any of them. Not gonna.
emailisslow?: Avatar Fire and Ash.
Chris: Nope. I haven't seen a single Avatar movie.
emailisslow?: Same.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: A Minecraft movie?
Chris: did The giant big blue i know cat people.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Minecraft movie?
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: Didn't see it.
Chris: well No.
emailisslow?: Superman.
Chris: Yes. It's all that.
emailisslow?: Did not see it.
Chris: It was good.
emailisslow?: Jurassic World Rebirth?
Chris: Haven't seen it. It's out on Prime or something now though, I think.
emailisslow?: Didn't see it. Probably don't really care. have it there's on That's fair, but Jurassic Park wasn't a good game in the 90s.
Chris: It's got Scarlett Johansson. but
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Lilo and Stitch?
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: Okay, didn't even know that was a thing. F1 the movie. I think that's the Brad Pitt one.
Chris: Yeah, I want to watch that. But again, I wouldn't see it in the theater.
emailisslow?: Yeah, and then Thunderbolts was number eight. i don't know who has a list of eights, but it's the top
Chris: What's eight? Top eight. Yeah, we did see the Thunderbolts.
emailisslow?: eight. Any good?
Chris: They went bad.
emailisslow?: I didn't see it.
Chris: Red Guardian's hilarious in it, so.
emailisslow?: The critically acclaimed movies, I've only seen one of these. Yeah,
Chris: Critically acclaimed. These are always, yeah.
emailisslow?: yeah. So one battle after another.
Chris: Huh.
emailisslow?: Didn't even hear of it.
Chris: Yeah, never heard.
emailisslow?: Sinners, I tried to watch it. It was really slow.
Chris: Sinners, is that the...
emailisslow?: It's the Michael D. Jordan movie.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah, I tried.
Chris: Yeah, no, I have not seen that.
emailisslow?: It was...
Chris: aren't like vampires or something
emailisslow?: and hold i didn't eat I watched an hour of that movie and it didn't even get to that point.
emailisslow?: The Shrouds.
Chris: huh nope never heard of it no mickey 18 mickey 17 what was it about
emailisslow?: Never heard of it. Mickey 17.
emailisslow?: I did watch that movie. and vi said It was Robert Pattinson and he plays basically they're on a colonize colony ship and he's cloned over and over and over again to do aus
Chris: Oh, OK.
emailisslow?: it's worth a watch.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's an interesting concept. It's worth a watch. ah The Housemaid?
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: Never heard of it. Train Dreams? Never heard of it.
Chris: Nope.
emailisslow?: the Frankenstein movie i actually might want to watch
Chris: Yo, the yeah Netflix, the Benicio Del no na beio del Toro. Yeah.
emailisslow?: got Oscar Oscar Isaac yeah not seen it yet so of all of the top 16 movies of 2025 we watched two
Chris: ahscar isaac yep yeah
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: two
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Man, we're relevant.
emailisslow?: but it's gonna get worse this what sparked this was somebody was talking about like the top spotify of 2035 i was like i couldn't name you any of these people yeah right so i've heard of some of these people here are the top 10 most stream artists for 2025 number one is bad bunny
Chris: Oh, God.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, gosh.
Chris: I've heard of, isn't Bad Bunny going to do the halftime show?
emailisslow?: the only thing I know about him.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Taylor Swift.
Chris: Well, and he's he's from Puerto Rico.
emailisslow?: Yes, he's from Puerto Rico, which is in America.
Chris: And people, yep, which people were trying to say, yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah,
Chris: Yep.
emailisslow?: Puerto Rico is is in America.
Chris: Yep. Yep.
emailisslow?: ah Taylor Swift.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Everybody knows Tay Tay. Her new album's not bad.
emailisslow?: Everybody knows. Never listen to a single album, but it's cool.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: The Weekend. Weekend? It's not Weekend. It's Weekend.
Chris: oh because there's no e yeah he did the halftime show a couple years ago and it was horrible yeah
emailisslow?: There's no E.
emailisslow?: Oh. Drake.
Chris: drake drake's canadian yeah does he is he the one that is like fussing with what's the other guy lamar yeah okay yeah yeah there you go that's what yeah
emailisslow?: Canadian is all I know about him.
emailisslow?: I believe so.
emailisslow?: Yeah, Canadian.
emailisslow?: Kedrick Lamar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all about the beef.
emailisslow?: Billie Eilish.
Chris: Yep. No, her.
emailisslow?: I've heard of her.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Kendrick Lamar. did this have
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: All I know about him is he did the halftime show last year.
Chris: Yep. Yep.
emailisslow?: That's all I know.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Bruno Mars. No idea.
Chris: Uh, yeah. I've heard of Bruno Mars.
emailisslow?: Ariana Grande, who the only thing I know about her is she does really weird interviews about that stupid wicked movie that I'd have no interest in seeing.
Chris: Yeah. So I remember her from when the kids were younger. they watched a show on Nick victorious and she got her start on that. She was like this ditzy like, yeah, girl that yeah went to school with him or whatever. And yeah, yep.
Chris: I remember like years later she was singing. I was like, wait, that's the girl from victorious.
emailisslow?: Number nine is Arijit Singh. Never heard of.
Chris: Never heard.
emailisslow?: I'm assuming and was great he's an Indian playback singer. I don't know what that means.
Chris: Singh? Arjeet
emailisslow?: Arijit Singh, playback singer.
Chris: Singh? Arjeet Singh? What does that mean? Nope.
emailisslow?: I don't know what that means. And the last one was...
emailisslow?: oh boy.
emailisslow?: Fjuerza Rijita.
Chris: I haven't heard.
emailisslow?: It's an American regional Mexican band formed in Santa Bernardino. Hmm. Hmm.
Chris: Yeah. Well, Irigit Singh, i mean, he's got his, you know, classic from 2021, Deshmere.
emailisslow?: Yeah, okay.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I'm totally irrelevant because I couldn't, if
Chris: Uska He Banana is one of his songs.
emailisslow?: if one of those artists, two of those artists, I could maybe identify their songs if they came on the radio.
Chris: God.
Chris: Hmm.
emailisslow?: And sadly, it's Tay Tay and Billie Eilish.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: And it would have to be a very specific Tay Tay song for me to recognize it was Tay Tay.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Sad to say.
Chris: Yeah. Hmm.
emailisslow?: Pretty irrelevant. It gets worse.
Chris: Yeah. He sang two songs of Zid and three tracks of Holiday. What the hell does that mean?
emailisslow?: I still don't know. i even looked it up. I still don't know what playback artist means.
Chris: Playback singer. What?
Chris: The playback singer is a professional vocalist who records songs for films or TV, whose voice is then used while actors lip sync on the screen, make it seem like the actors are singing. Oh, so he does the work and they get the credit.
emailisslow?: least He's the guy behind Millie Vanilli.
Chris: Yes. Okay. Huh. He's a modern day and a ghost singer, not ghost writer.
emailisslow?: I guess, yeah, yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. ah Okay.
emailisslow?: All right, so now here's where it's real going to hurt because we're gamers, you and I.
Chris: Oh gosh.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: We're weird gamers.
Chris: Oh gosh.
emailisslow?: So I Googled the top 25 user count games.
Chris: Okay.
emailisslow?: So this is number of players playing the game, not sales.
Chris: Hmm.
Chris: Yeah. Right.
emailisslow?: Number one, Counter-Strike 2.
Chris: Really? Counter-Strike still?
emailisslow?: Still have not played that game.
Chris: wow
emailisslow?: I was in college last time I played Counter-Strike.
Chris: That's amazing that that's still.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Number two is Minecraft still.
Chris: Really.
emailisslow?: type bo That game is at least 10 years old. It's probably 15 years old.
Chris: Oh yeah. It's gotta be.
emailisslow?: numbers Number three is Fortnite.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: which seems crazy to me. That's also an older game at this point.
Chris: Yeah. But they keep like adding new modes and having. like these crazy seasons. Like I almost downloaded it because they did a Simpsons season and it was pretty much like, it looked like you were playing Simpsons hit and run.
emailisslow?: Oh, yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Nice.
Chris: So.
emailisslow?: Number four, which I hear is a problematic game, is Roblox.
Chris: Oh yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah, I hear some problematic things about that game.
Chris: Yeah. It can be. Yeah. Well, it's what it's very Minecraft D it's,
emailisslow?: Not the of the game. It's the people.
Chris: Yeah, oh yeah, it's the servers and things like that. so Yeah, it's one of those, like, you can do anything you want inside Roblox.
emailisslow?: so
Chris: Like, you make their games inside the game kind of thing.
emailisslow?: So far in the top 10 games of users, I've played zero.
Chris: Yeah, know.
emailisslow?: Number five is The Sims 4.
Chris: Oh my gosh. I think my daughter still plays The Sims.
emailisslow?: Well, there you go.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Your daughter is more hip than we are.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: Number six, League of Legends.
Chris: I've heard of it.
emailisslow?: Heard of it. i Never played it.
Chris: I watched this show on Netflix, Arcane.
emailisslow?: didn't know there was Didn't know there was a show.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Number seven is is Dota 2.
Chris: It's not bad.
Chris: Wow. Yeah, so it's all it's like MOBAs and stuff.
emailisslow?: It's going to get better in a second.
Chris: Okay.
emailisslow?: Number eight is Repo, which I have played.
Chris: Creep. Is that like a tow truck game?
emailisslow?: ah No, it's a it's a game where you and your friends go into a house and have to steal a bunch of shit back from somebody before you get killed by ghosts and monsters.
Chris: Oh, OK. That sounds terrifying.
emailisslow?: It's a fun little... It sometimes can be terrifying, yeah. Number nine is Valorant.
Chris: I've heard of it.
emailisslow?: have heard of it never played it and then number 10 was call of duty yeah call of duty is still up there uh i would think it's warzone yeah the so of those tap 10 i played one of them i imagine you played zero
Chris: Oh, there's Call of Duty still up there.
Chris: Yeah, it's probably Warzone that keeps it up there.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, I've... Yeah. I mean, I tried Fortnite one time, but no.
emailisslow?: Yeah, i was I tried it once. I was not interested. um The top selling games, which is sales, not players.
Chris: Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Battlefield 6. I
Chris: yeah Yeah, I've heard good things about that.
emailisslow?: i love Battlefield, so I probably one day should pick that up. Monster Hunter Wilds. I can't say i tried that game and I thought it was dog shit.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
Chris: I, yeah, if the control scheme sucks.
emailisslow?: Yeah, I just didn't like it at all.
Chris: And yeah, yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: And then EA Sports FC 25, which, shockingly, a soccer game.
Chris: Yeah. Imagine that. Yeah. Most popular sport on earth.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Right. Those were the top games of 2025, and I played one of them.
Chris: Huh. Yeah, that's, I didn't play any of them actually in this year.
emailisslow?: Yeah, games that I thought would have been on that list, which were not, Claire Obscura, which I was talking about, i was hanging with friends the other day, and my buddy's like, did you play Claire Obscura Expedition 33?
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: And I'm like, yeah, i didn't like it. He's like, you didn't like it? I'm like, it's not my kind of game.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: it's It's kind of a mashup between a Souls-like and Final Fantasy. And he's like, no, it's nothing like that at all.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: i'm like, I'm pretty sure it's...
Chris: It's exactly like that.
emailisslow?: exactly like that game i was like i couldn't explain that better in any other way but yeah i did i i thought that that game would be more popular oh
Chris: Yeah. I don't
Chris: know. Ah! God, sorry. My daughter just scared the hell out of me.
Chris: Jesus Christ. looked at
Chris: me. That's how she keeps me young, folks. Ah.
emailisslow?: Wow.
Chris: ah ah that's good stuff yeah yeah oh yeah
emailisslow?: Oh, Sid Meier 7 came out this year. I forgot about that. Man, they really fucked that game up. i I had such high hopes.
Chris: yeah i'm surprised like a ghost of yote is not out or in there
emailisslow?: Hopefully they'll fix it.
emailisslow?: I'm not because I've never heard of those games, so.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: This is not games that are good. This is just games.
Chris: yeah yeah yeah oh yeah arc raider some surprise that wasn't on there yeah yeah yeah I had hopes for that but it just seems like it did more of three and that wasn't yeah yeah
emailisslow?: Oh, Oblivion Remastered came out this year, too.
emailisslow?: I probably have not enough time.
emailisslow?: Borderlands 4 came out this year.
emailisslow?: Right.
emailisslow?: Pokemon Legends Xa.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: ah
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: This is saying the top 10 best games by console for 2025. Ghost of Yota was 8.
Chris: so Okay.
emailisslow?: Assassin's Creed Shadow was 6. There's a lot sports games.
Chris: Wow. That was up at six.
emailisslow?: Battlefield 6, Sports Game. Sports Game. Sports Game is dominated the console wars.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Borderlands 4 was number 10.
Chris: Well, the, yeah, the sports games usually do because, know, I still don't understand why the sports games haven't gone to more of like a, like a battle pass kind of thing. It's like, yeah, you've got the game here.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: You know, if you want the new roster here, you you know, pay 20 bucks.
emailisslow?: Right.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: ah
emailisslow?: Let's see, who are the best selling games on scene?
Chris: On Steam.
emailisslow?: Yeah, so you had Oblivion Remastered, Elden Ring Night Reign,
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: Dune Awakening.
Chris: Yeah. Isn't that like the base building one?
emailisslow?: Yeah, it's like ah Conan. My buddies are playing it.
Chris: OK.
emailisslow?: Kingdom Come 2 Deliverance 2.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Silksong from Holland Lake Silksong.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Schedule 1, which looks dumb to me. Nothing else than Arc Raiders was on that list.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: Down in the lower numbers. Man, Claire Obscura did not do as well as I thought it would.
Chris: It's more of a console thing, I think.
emailisslow?: Doom the Dark Ages. I forgot Doom the Dark Ages even came out this year.
Chris: Oh, yeah, it did
emailisslow?: Yeah. Outer Worlds 2 came out this year.
emailisslow?: RuneScape Dragonwilds. I want try that game. I have not.
Chris: Is it like the old RuneScape?
emailisslow?: It's not. It's a four-person co-op.
Chris: and okay yeah mean yeah well i'm yeah i'm not playing anything new i'm playing destiny and cyberpunk
emailisslow?: different thing. What else came out this year that didn't play? I'm playing the same games over and over again.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines 2? don't think I even didn't hear that.
Chris: I didn't know that was out.
emailisslow?: from Yeah.
emailisslow?: Killing Floor 3? Never heard of it.
Chris: Wow.
emailisslow?: You get down to these these games. Oh, Blueprints! That game was huge for a little while.
Chris: Oh, we yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: I played it. It's frustrating. Um...
emailisslow?: Yeah, I'm irrelevant. That's what I've learned out of all
emailisslow?: of this. That's why you and I complain about what's going on in the world, because nobody sells anything that we like.
Chris: Exactly.
emailisslow?: yeah
emailisslow?: Avowed came out this year. I didn't dislike that game.
Chris: That's the first person RPG.
emailisslow?: it but Yeah, it was the city...
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: was pretty good.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It was not worth... It's not repeatable, I would say.
Chris: Okay.
emailisslow?: But...
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's fine.
Chris: I still can't believe that Bethesda didn't re-release either New Vegas or Fallout 4 with season two of Fallout coming out.
emailisslow?: Well, they're not going to do New Vegas... Because that's not DeFezda.
Chris: Oh yeah, that was, I can't remember their name, but yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah. But you would think Fallout 4 Master's Edition would to come out.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Right.
Chris: I don't know.
emailisslow?: Bethesda's a weird company.
Chris: Yes. Yeah.
emailisslow?: It seems to have nothing to do with
Chris: Yeah, but I mean Elder Scrolls 6 is going to come out in the next 25 years.
emailisslow?: Is it?
Chris: I do know this, man.
emailisslow?: Who knows?
Chris: um But they're also working on Fallout 5. Sure you are.
emailisslow?: Right.
emailisslow?: And they have that ESO line online game, which was fine, but it's not Elder Scrolls.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah, fine.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Well, folks, those are the year in review of things that we didn't play or see or watch or listen to.
Chris: Yeah. But we shook our fist at the wind.
emailisslow?: No, we did shake our face of the wind.
Chris: gosh. Hmm.
emailisslow?: Top of go two.
Chris: Sure. Topic two. um So with Destiny... having their full partnership with the Lucas this season.
Chris: It's always a good time to get back in the Star Wars. And I got thinking the other day, my daughter and I, we've watched, we're rewatching the movies. We've watched one and two so far. Who is the most tragic Star Wars character?
emailisslow?: Are we going just by movies and shows?
Chris: No, no, no. You can go buy everything.
emailisslow?: Oh.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Well, the most tragic to me personally is Corrin Horn. And the tragedy is that he was relegated to Legends and never reappeared.
Chris: Ooh, yeah.
emailisslow?: Or also Wedge Antilles, because they did the same thing. He's in the movies, and then he has a huge arc in the books, and then they legend him.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Wedge. Yeah.
emailisslow?: ah But tragic in the normal meaning. Hmm.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: This is...
Chris: I say Obi-Wan.
emailisslow?: Oh, I have a... I have a worst answer.
Chris: okay
emailisslow?: Um...
emailisslow?: what is his name? Balen Skull? Balen...
emailisslow?: Yeah, Balen Skull. Man, I gotta write on this.
Chris: oh the one that the one that was up for chancellor oh oh oh okay yeah yeah yeah okay i got you yeah ah
emailisslow?: No, Balen Skull is the guy from Ashoka? The Fallen Jedi? Yeah. Because, like,
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: he gets the obi-wan treatment but also is on the outside of everything and turns crazy i mean because he doesn't quite become a sith
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: and his whole world falls apart and he doesn't have anything left it's pretty bad
Chris: Yeah, I mean, Obi-Wan... thing with Obi-Wan, he did everything right.
emailisslow?: Did he do everything right?
Chris: He followed the code. He saw his mentor... slash dad figure cut down in front of him
emailisslow?: But couldn't you say that when he didn't confront Vader and he let Anakin become Anakin into Vader, he didn't do everything right?
Chris: he did confront him i mean he assumed he was gonna die he didn't think that anakin's hate would keep him alive
emailisslow?: Did he? Because he didn't kill him.
emailisslow?: The power of hate. But then...
Chris: well and i guess that's the thing though because mean i don't know if he had struck him down would that have been going against the code more know
emailisslow?: But then he doesn't raise Luke and and train him. And Luke ends up being a bumbling idiot.
Chris: this is a bumbling idiot yeah
emailisslow?: He's pretty much a bumbling idiot for the first two movies. you know could luke have used some training
Chris: But I thought in the actual, like in the books and more everything, Obi-Wan protected him a lot more than you' shown.
emailisslow?: sure he probably did protect him from the shadows but he didn't train him they dumped they dumped luke on this desert planet and obi-wan decides
Chris: Now.
Chris: Oh, I mean, between Luke and Leia, Luke got the shaft.
emailisslow?: he Definitely got the shaft. And they double on this as they're playing it. They basically deny him his birthright or whatever heck you want to say it is.
emailisslow?: And then they're just like, i don't know why this kid's screwed up.
Chris: yeah oh yeah yeah
emailisslow?: I'm not sure he did everything right. I think Yoda is actually the bad guy here.
Chris: well yeah because yoda definitely could tell things were going on on yeah
emailisslow?: Yeah, and he just fucks off to the swamps.
emailisslow?: Really, the tragic figure is Padme. She died of a broken heart.
Chris: Yeah, she did. Bless her heart.
Chris: Oh, gosh. Such waste of characters.
emailisslow?: Such a waste of characters.
Chris: Oh, God.
emailisslow?: Such a terrible story arc.
Chris: Hmm.
Chris: Yeah. Well, if you... I said we were re-watching the movies. Episode 2. Jar Jar Binks is the reason the Clone Army exists.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Yeah, Jar Jar.
Chris: because Padme goes running off with Anakin to hide at Naboo for a while and says, Jar Jar, fill in for me at the Senate.
Chris: Why? Why would you do that?
emailisslow?: Right. It feels like that's Padme's fault, not Jar Jar's fault.
Chris: Oh, well, yeah.
emailisslow?: You know.
Chris: Hmm.
emailisslow?: Kind of know that Jar Jar's not going to doing a good job there.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: He's, you know, basically a bowling idiot.
Chris: the most bumbling of idiots.
emailisslow?: Yeah, I mean, like, there's some weird characters in there who you're like, if they'd just done something, things would have been better.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Right? Like, Obi-Wan's doing nothing. And he lives this life of solitude and clearly was in love with, what's her name?
Chris: Oh, Bo-Katan's sister.
emailisslow?: Yeah, Bogdan's sister. wal I was going to say Bogdan's sister, but I didn't answer. What's her name, though? Oh, man.
Chris: Yeah, that's good.
emailisslow?: You know, clearly was in love with her. You know. And then he he, I guess the sad part is,
Chris: Satine Kries.
emailisslow?: Yes. she I guess the sad part is that he puts her aside for his code, then she dies, and then he continues to live the life by his code, and it it ends up being an empty and meaningless existence.
Chris: Dies. Mm-hmm.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: So I guess that's fair.
Chris: yeah either Yeah, definitely the played by the rules and got the shaft.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah. But his master doesn't play by the rules. That's like the whole thing.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: Right? Like his master's...
Chris: Yeah, because Qui-Gon was always a little like telling the line.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: And, you know, Qui-Gon clearly was the right answer for what the Jedi should have been compared to, yeah, more Grey than...
Chris: yeah more gray
emailisslow?: I think the worst character... is Mace Windu.
Chris: really yeah
emailisslow?: Yeah. He's the idiot of the whole Jedi Council. He gets fooled every step of the way.
Chris: that's true yeah well and he always downplays things yeah
emailisslow?: and like he's... Right, and he's supposed to be like this super badass Jedi who basically bumbles his way into the Jedi Order being destroyed.
Chris: yeah yeah yeah I never thought about that way yeah
emailisslow?: You would think of like your order exists basically to keep the Sith from going in power. Any rumor of Sith you would take super seriously.
Chris: exactly yeah not just that's it not that's it's a bit extinct no yeah yeah
emailisslow?: Right.
emailisslow?: Like your whole thing is that the Sith were a terrible empire. They just almost destroyed the galaxy and we're here to fight them. Oh, there's a Sith? Nah. Come on.
Chris: uh now fifth yeah yeah i drank one the other night
emailisslow?: But also one could argue that Darth Maul has a pretty terrible character arc.
Chris: oh yeah yeah yeah yes yeah yeah yeah
emailisslow?: He's pretty sad. To the point where he basically asks Obi-Wan to kill him. You know, death by cop. Obi-Wan style.
Chris: It was his hate that kept him alive for so long.
emailisslow?: Clearly.
Chris: And yeah, he was tortured.
emailisslow?: But his...
Chris: He was experimented on his brother.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah, it's just ah all bad.
emailisslow?: Ezra doesn't have a good arc, really. Well, I guess Ezra's not done.
Chris: Yeah. Well, um, ah Kane and Jarrus?
emailisslow?: Okay, and Jairus has a pretty sad arc.
Chris: God.
emailisslow?: You know,
emailisslow?: finally gets a kid and he dies immediately right after that. Speaking of that, where is his kid? Where's Hera and his kid?
Chris: That's a great question.
emailisslow?: clearly doing things in the asho show.
Chris: yeah yeah well he's in the ahsoka show yeah yeah yep jason yeah observ pa pa but papa ah strong connection to the force yeah that's all we really know
emailisslow?: So where's his kid? Yeah, so is his kid in the show? Oh, yeah, yes. Yes, he is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I would love for them to really explore like the Ashoka and Ezra, what those people do now.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Thrawn's gone.
emailisslow?: And now what? Because
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Ashoka should do something.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: She's also got a pretty terrible arc. god
Chris: yeah It's not good to be a Jedi.
emailisslow?: It's not good to be a Jedi.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I mean...
emailisslow?: yeah Luke has a terrible... well if we If we allow those movies to stand as a record, which I guess we have to Luke has a terrible character arc.
Chris: Oh my God.
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: Um...
Chris: Even without him though, like you said, I mean, look at all the stuff he missed out on.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. The first 16 years of his life.
emailisslow?: Yeah, and then his the rest of his life is battle enforced solitude.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trying to piece things together on his own and yeah.
Chris: Yeah, and to find out that the chick you were, you know, hitting on is your sister.
emailisslow?: sure It's got to leave some deep emotional scars.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
emailisslow?: Is there a Jedi that has a good arc?
emailisslow?: Well, the Jedi are fundamentally wrong.
Chris: Yeah, I mean, kidnapping kids when they're two and.
emailisslow?: Yeah. And trying to be half-assed Vulcans.
emailisslow?: Hmm. Hmm.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I really liked...
Chris: I like this.
emailisslow?: lu
Chris: I searched, does any Jedi have a happy life? its It's how you interpret happiness. Here are some examples of contentment, because contentment really shows happiness for a Jedi.
Chris: Plo Koon? No, he was not. He got blasted out of the sky.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: oh my gosh.
emailisslow?: um
Chris: Hmm.
emailisslow?: I would say... ah I really liked Luke's life when, you know, in Legends when he had Mara Jade and a family.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: thought that was a much better existence than the one he got we got from him.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
emailisslow?: Who's the chick? Oh, you wouldn't even know. They're in Wraith's squadron together.
emailisslow?: Which is, again, still one of my favorite squadrons I never did. um She's a Force user. She ends up having an okay story arc, I guess.
Chris: I like that. Okay story arc. 66. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Well, because... it There's not going to be a jedi who's actual an actual Jedi who's happy. Because any Jedi that survives Order 66 is just living a terrible life after that.
Chris: sixty six
emailisslow?: Always on the high always on on the run. Also, why didn't the Jedi just fuck off to like the Chiss Empire? Why didn't they just leave? Why are they all sticking around the Empire? Isn't that weird?
Chris: Yeah, yeah Yeah, I mean, go far, far out in the outer rim. and
emailisslow?: Right, go to the Outer Rim, go to the Chisentire, go to wherever the the Empire is not. You know.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Go to the Sith Homeworld.
Chris: Yeah, but there was that you know ingrained in them that, well, this is bad, so I got to stand up against it.
emailisslow?: kind
Chris: and
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Oh, what about, uh, what's his name? Um, from Jedi Survivor. Um,
Chris: Oh, Cal Kestis.
emailisslow?: Yeah, Calcastus.
Chris: I don't know if he's happy.
emailisslow?: He's not got it bad. He's got his little robot friend.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. But again, watched his master get cut down.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. And then the guy who he thought was his buddy in the second one turns out to be, know, evil and tries to kill him. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: yeah You know, can't all be great.
Chris: yeah no he's got the uh cute dothomir chick
emailisslow?: These guys are little robot buddy.
emailisslow?: Yeah, yeah. They're off doing things.
Chris: okay he found that um what you call it that uh planet yeah yeah yeah
emailisslow?: and they got the holocron and all that stuff. They they got things. Yeah. like go Look, see, we found one. It's not quite a Jedi.
Chris: yeah
Chris: yeah We don't know what happens to him in the third game.
emailisslow?: Well, it's true.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's true.
Chris: But yeah, it's just, yeah.
emailisslow?: Um...
Chris: And I get a lot of it is, I mean, that's how you tell a good story is, you know, tragedy in the character arc, but
emailisslow?: nice to see some of them have a good life.
Chris: yes. Yes.
emailisslow?: I guess Leia sort of had a good life until it all fell apart at the end there.
Chris: Yeah. ah Yeah.
emailisslow?: I guess that's not true either, because her husband like fucked off for ten years.
Chris: Well, yeah. That's true. That's true.
emailisslow?: yeah
Chris: Yeah. But she could fly.
emailisslow?: ah She could fly at the very, very last moment there.
Chris: and survive in deep space.
emailisslow?: Survive a deep space.
Chris: God, those movies.
Chris: So much potential.
emailisslow?: And again, these they stole her children away from her.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: In Legends, she had three children.
Chris: Right.
Chris: Hmm. Yeah. Cause J solo was one of them.
emailisslow?: the twins and Jace, right?
Chris: I think so. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Because the twins were some of Luke's first apprentices.
emailisslow?: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: You know what's also weird? That they named their kid Ben in the the second story arc.
Chris: yes well because ben saved her yeah she did she met him no wait she never saw him well she does help me obi-wan you're only hope yeah bail
emailisslow?: Why would she name her kid after Ben? know She didn't know Ben Kenobi. Yeah. yeah
emailisslow?: Right. Why wouldn't she name her kid after, I don't know, her adopted father or someone else? Yeah, Bales. Plenty other people that she actually knew that could actually count.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I guess if we retcon back because in the show Obi-Wan meets her as a little girl.
Chris: Uh, yeah.
emailisslow?: guess we could go with that.
Chris: But...
emailisslow?: But she would know him as Ben.
Chris: kinda.
emailisslow?: She knew him as Obi-Wan.
Chris: No. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah. Man, those movies are stupid.
Chris: There was a...
emailisslow?: God damn it.
Chris: Oh my gosh. Well, yeah. Oh, look, we found this ancient knife that matches up to how the Death Star crashed.
emailisslow?: Ugh, that night.
Chris: with the Get the fuck out of here.
emailisslow?: Yeah, yeah. They're
Chris: God. Hmm.
emailisslow?: bad movies.
Chris: They fly now?
Chris: Oh.
emailisslow?: They're rough. They're rough.
Chris: Just wipe them from existence.
emailisslow?: Just think about this. You're on episode two, you said?
Chris: Yeah, we're about to, we're going to, three is next.
emailisslow?: mean, you got a little way to go and then you got to watch seven, eight, nine.
Chris: I don't know if we have to.
emailisslow?: I feel like you have to. You're required.
Chris: I told her, I said, technically, since we finished two, now we have to watch all seven seasons of the Clone Wars.
emailisslow?: That's true. And Bad Batch.
Chris: Oh, and Babach, yeah.
emailisslow?: something to look forward to yeah what happened to Omega where are these people
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's and what happened to Amiga.
Chris: That's what we need to do. Where are they now?
emailisslow?: yeah we need to we need to sit down with Dave Filoni be like yo where are these people yeah Dave just have us come in we'll you know design the next movie
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Well, I mean, he's a listener of the show. So Dave, hit us up. We would love to have you on.
Chris: Oh my gosh.
emailisslow?: It'll do fine. still It's still a Star Wars movie. It'll do fine. Trust us. We're your only hope.
Chris: Did you I read somewhere. now It's probably not true, but Luke was so upset on the um set of episode eight that he kept referring to himself as Jake Skywalker. He's like, this isn't Luke. This must be Jake or somebody.
emailisslow?: Nice.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I have heard that he that Mark Hamill was not happy with those movies.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. why Why would you be?
emailisslow?: You wouldn't be.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Yeah. The only one who was happy was Harrison Ford.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: And that's because he just didn't want to play the character anymore.
Chris: Exactly. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Which is totally fair.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: and And even his part wasn't terrible.
Chris: No.
emailisslow?: that was fine.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: You know, I get it. And that would be the perfect thing to like push Ben over the edge and, you know, totally run into the Kylo Ren thing. What happened to the Knights of Ren? Where do those guys go?
Chris: Yeah, exactly.
emailisslow?: Who were they? What were they doing?
Chris: So in the comics, I think they try to pick back up after Kylo really Kylo's out. And yeah, they try to restart, I think.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: But I mean, but again, it's
Chris: Kylo is such a... just
Chris: He's weak. He doesn't even... I mean, red the Knights of Ren. yeah It's not named after Kylo Ren. He stole that name from the guy who was the leader before him.
Chris: and
Chris: Thank God the Emperor a clone.
emailisslow?: Which...
Chris: Which, i mean, he did in the book, in the, you know, Legends...
emailisslow?: The books? Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: But it was done so much better.
emailisslow?: It was done so much better.
emailisslow?: They never really even...
Chris: And just Ray. Mary suing her way through life.
emailisslow?: They never really explained who... Was this Snoke?
Chris: Snoke.
emailisslow?: They never really explained who that guy was.
Chris: Yeah. Nope. Nope.
emailisslow?: Yeah.
Chris: Nope. It's Jar Jar.
emailisslow?: That's
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Such bad movies.
Chris: Yeah. yeah the tragedy is we had to yeah sit through them god yeah freaking wren johnson
emailisslow?: Yeah. That is the real tragedy.
emailisslow?: Maybe the worst character arc for anybody, like the saddest one, is
emailisslow?: what the hell's her name? God damn it. Felicity Jones.
Chris: felicity chats oh yeah m yeah
emailisslow?: Jynorso's dad.
emailisslow?: Yeah, he's got a tough life.
Chris: yeah
emailisslow?: They kill his wife. They drag him to work basically against his will on the Death Star.
Chris: yeah yeah yep he's responsible for how many deaths yeah yeah i mean no no
emailisslow?: He's got a rough one.
emailisslow?: Well, also, he's the reason that Death Star blew up. So, you know, something.
emailisslow?: But he's got pretty bad work. And it doesn't get redeemed. It's not like he's like, I get to see my you know daughter again. He sees her again and dies.
Chris: Yep.
Chris: Well, and then she dies shortly thereafter, so.
emailisslow?: ah Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what happens when things blow up around you.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, man. So.
Chris: Well, that was sad, folks.
emailisslow?: It was sad.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, I'm going rack my brain for a happy Jedi.
emailisslow?: It's gonna be tough. It's gonna be tough.
Chris: Yeah, it is. Yeah.
emailisslow?: Unless you look at the legends and then you got Goron Horn.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
emailisslow?: It's my favorite guy.
Chris: There's probably one though that was like kicked in the head by a mule and they just let him sit in a corner or something. It's like, yeah, he was totally happy in his own little world.
emailisslow?: That's probably true.
Chris: ah Well, folks, hope you enjoyed that.
emailisslow?: Yeah, I hope you enjoyed your New Year's.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: I hope you blow any fingers off.
Chris: Yeah.
emailisslow?: Anyway, fireworks.
Chris: Fireworks bad.
emailisslow?: Fireworks bad.
Chris: Follow us on Twitter and
emailisslow?: And, yeah.
Chris: See you all true at 22 and care. take care
emailisslow?: Yeah, enjoy 2026 into it.
