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Episode 1: An Introduction
99 Plays6 months ago
Get to know Helena and Anne-Marie, BFF's for more than half their life. In this episode hear a flyover of their friendship, why they think it's worth a podcast, and what you can expect to hear from them next.
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Transcript
Introduction and Prayer
00:00:00
Speaker
Okay, let's pray. Thank you, God, for the opportunity to be together as besties doing this. This is so much fun. and There's just so many layers of this that are sweet that we just keep unwrapping. So thank you for giving good gifts.
00:00:14
Speaker
Lord, we know what we want to talk about, what we want to say, but I just pray you guide this conversation ah now and always. Let every single thing that comes out of our mouth and the meditations of our minds and the overflow of our heart be pleasing and honoring to you.
00:00:29
Speaker
and you alone. pray all this in Jesus' name.
Hosts' Backgrounds and Friendship
00:00:32
Speaker
Amen. All right. Welcome everyone to episode one of the Twists and Turns podcast, Confessions of Lifelong BFFs.
00:00:42
Speaker
Maybe just a BFF podcast. We haven't decided yet. We will see. I'm Anne-Marie. And I'm Helena. And we are BFFs for over 20 years. Really hard to believe because we're only 25. We have seen it all and we have lived it all alongside each other despite distance and some very, very different backgrounds and life paths. This story for us is part victory victory lap and it's part witness. So we know in each other's lives where all the bodies are buried.
00:01:07
Speaker
We're probably not going to tell you that. And our lives look pretty beaver cleaver right now. but that's nowhere near how it started for either one of us. So I want to tell you just as we get started, kind of who we are and who we are not.
00:01:19
Speaker
So Helena and I are both grateful believers in Jesus Christ. We are students of the word. We are not theologians. We are not pastors. We are not looking for a fight.
00:01:29
Speaker
So we're If you are, just keep it on moving. So we are best friends for two decades, and we are here to bear witness to one another's lives and to God's goodness in our lives.
00:01:41
Speaker
And that is what we want to talk about. So this podcast is really between us and God, and you're welcome to come along on the journey. But we are We are not here to necessarily change your mind. We are here to bear witness to each other's lives because we've been there for each other.
Helena's Life Reflections
00:01:55
Speaker
So anything else you want to add, Helena, to who we are who we are not?
00:01:58
Speaker
I second all the things that we are not, for sure. But yeah, we're just two best friends who enjoy talking about deep, meaningful topics. And they're really meaningful to us. And we hope that they could be as meaningful to you and you can enjoy these conversations and maybe build off of them in your own friendships that you have in your, in your circles.
00:02:24
Speaker
Yeah. So and just want to lay a framework here because somebody who is wise and made podcasts said that this was a good idea. So we're going to, we're going to do it. We just want to let you know, listener, first of all, thank you for joining us. We're happy that you're here and we want to give you a clear expectation of what you can expect to hear on this episode. So We, in in no particular order, so don't expect to hear it in this order, we're gonna tell you why we're doing this in a little bit more detail. We're gonna give you a flyover, 10,000 foot view of our story, and we're gonna give you a preview of what's next. I actually wanna start a little bit backwards with that. wanna talk about life lately. So Helena,
00:03:01
Speaker
Tell us about what your life looks like right now. What takes up your time? So I am a mom and I have ah two kiddos. I have a husband. We just celebrated 12 years of marriage. And in fact, coming up on Halloween this week, and that'll be 15 years since our first date. So that's kind of fun to think about.
00:03:23
Speaker
Was your first date on Halloween? Yep. well Well, we'll put a pin in that because I want to hear that story. I actually don't think I remember that. Good story for the kids. um Yeah, so i have the privilege of being home with my kiddos and managing their schedules and being present for all of it, which is wonderful and busy at the same time. I feel like I'm in a really sweet spot at the moment because I am able to be present when they still want me around. i feel very grateful for the space that I'm in right now.
00:03:57
Speaker
And again, very, very different than when it started for sure. So looking forward to talking more about that. I want to know one thing you feel most surprised about your life now as you look back. So we met when we were respectively...
00:04:12
Speaker
15 years old, but you were getting ready to turn 16. Yeah. So my teenage self, if I were to hypothetically be looking forward, I guess, I would be most surprised at the maybe the things that I'm doing in my time that bring me the most joy. Because I think I had to work towards the courage to actually do them.
00:04:32
Speaker
So I think there's certain things that I am involved in that I may have theoretically liked the idea of doing, but lacked the confidence.
00:04:43
Speaker
And so I think that would be kind of something I would be surprised at myself about. But what's one thing, throw your curveball here, that you feel like you have yet to overcome? Well, this kind of is one sitting here.
00:04:56
Speaker
And just, I don't like talking in front of a lot of people. this is definitely a step in that direction. Well, that's good. There's only one person you're talking in front of right now.
00:05:06
Speaker
right That's true. well
00:05:10
Speaker
Touche.
Anne-Marie's Life and Career Changes
00:05:11
Speaker
I think, you know, I have over the last 10 years, honestly, have tried to where the world from my perspective has been making like people make themselves more visible. I tried to make myself less visible via social media, which I am not currently active on in any capacity.
00:05:34
Speaker
So I think this is different because I am now kind of putting myself in a more vulnerable position that I have in a very long time. And I agree with that.
00:05:44
Speaker
Like I, it's so funny. I think that, you know, in in past iterations of myself, I was like, yeah, whatever. Like ah everything I was, I was an overshare for sure. i still am. And then I think in the last Yeah, but but not to a broader audience, you know? right i just never found a great time or place for myself to be present on social media.
00:06:07
Speaker
but Same way, it was like 10 years ago, i stepped away from that. And I think you shortly before me made that decision. and then i was pretty was pretty pleased to step away from that and realize like, not only do I not need this, it's not serving me all that well. No disrespect to anyone who loves social media, just talking about our experiences.
00:06:27
Speaker
It wasn't really like talked about so much because it was 2016 when I stopped doing social media. And I feel like I probably didn't have the vocabulary to articulate it, but I didn't like the way that I felt when interacting with social media. And so it was shortly after that where everybody was kind of talking about the mental health effects that social media was having.
00:06:56
Speaker
So I don't know if that kind of drove you to make that decision for yourself, but I think that was mine before I knew that it was mine. We're going go a little bit off on a tangent here, but I think this is helpful ah because this is the point of this, the point of this whole anecdote between the two of us is we're both putting ourselves out there in a way that is not comfortable to us.
00:07:16
Speaker
And we feel pretty compelled to do it for a very specific reason. So this is not, it's never been about us and it will not ever be about us, but We get to talk about us and our friendship and that's super fun.
00:07:27
Speaker
But I, so 2015, I, at that time in the history of social media, you know, Facebook started way back when, and you needed a college email address to
Early Friendship Memories
00:07:39
Speaker
participate.
00:07:39
Speaker
And it was an extension of our in-person interaction. So we were keeping in touch with people from high school. We were keeping in touch with people who maybe went to a different college than we did, but it was still very authentic,
00:07:52
Speaker
exchange. And then everybody started joining on social media and it became a very different experience. What struck me about it is people who I thought were my friends in real life were nowhere to be found in real life or online. And then suddenly this really wonderful thing happened in my life.
00:08:14
Speaker
And it felt like everyone came out of the woodwork. That was sort of my reason for stepping away. And then what happened next was a very polarizing election.
00:08:25
Speaker
And we're making zero commentary about position on that. I think everyone can agree that in that time period, social media really, really changed. And both of us had stepped away from it at that point. And so we were sort of sheltered from that. And so at that point, I think we all just high-fived each other and went, okay, I think we can just keep in touch in person and you know enjoy that from a distance. All that to say, we are coming back into this after...
00:08:51
Speaker
years of being disconnected from the internet in this way. So forgive us if we don't know all the social norms for social media, because they're not normal. They're straight. Every time I hear like etiquette, I'm like, what?
00:09:03
Speaker
We don't mean to offend. We're just being who we are. yeah So for me, guess my My intro, so what takes up my time right now, i am a wife and a mother, gratefully as well.
00:09:15
Speaker
And that takes up my time. I also am very involved in our church. And while I have stepped away from full-time employment, which is, I think, shocking to anyone who has ever known me in any part of my life.
00:09:29
Speaker
I am so certainly still working. I definitely have things going on, but I get to kind of call my own shots now, which is very different than what I was doing before. I had a 20 plus year career in a certain industry that I loved and really enjoyed.
00:09:43
Speaker
And ah about four years ago, I stepped away from it and immediately everything changed. So That's kind of where I'm at now. And i think that anyone who knew me pre marriage and motherhood, I think if they were, if you were to just implant them into my life right now, they'd go, yeah, I don't think I would have called that. I don't think I would have up for Anne-Marie.
00:10:08
Speaker
So it's definitely very different. I think one thing that I have yet to overcome I think I am still really beginning, really just beginning to have a right perspective of myself and the world around me.
00:10:23
Speaker
And a lot of that came from just foundationally the environment I was in and just, and not really having a great perspective on myself, on God, on people around me and and the priority of those things and just how it all works.
00:10:41
Speaker
So I think sometimes I'll make observations about things that it's like, yeah, of course,
Formative Friendship Experiences
00:10:47
Speaker
that's how it works. And I just, I, you know, and I have yet to, to really ah put things in their right perspective, but I am constantly learning and constantly growing in that, in that place. For example, i think i for, for much of my life, just expected that anyone I met just didn't really like me.
00:11:07
Speaker
So, and you were really one of the first people, Helena, that, there was there was one other who's still a dear friend of mine. In fact, I reached out to her as I was kind of reflecting on this the other day and and said hi and said thank you. But I think you were one of two people very early on that actually made me feel like you just liked me because I existed.
00:11:30
Speaker
And that was super foundational. And and i I hope that that's rare. i hope that there's not a lot of people who have that experience. But i the more I live, the more I learn I don't think it is.
00:11:43
Speaker
So um that's something about our friendship that's that's really special is that they we didn't owe each other anything. you know We really didn't. we just saw each other and and appreciated each other. Yeah. And like, not to say like, oh my gosh, we're so awesome.
00:11:59
Speaker
But like, I think though, if somebody doesn't see the the good in you, like that's not necessarily that there's not good to be seen. i think it's that person not being your person.
00:12:15
Speaker
Yeah. You know, i think, especially at the age that we were, when we met, like we're teenagers, you're awkward and you're just trying to figure out who you are. You have no idea. you have no way of knowing, you know, some things.
00:12:29
Speaker
So I think to find A person that you are able to have lasting friendship and genuine connection with is, it is rare, but yeah, like at the same time, don't discount your awesomeness, I guess.
00:12:44
Speaker
That's what I was trying to say there. The takeaway for everyone. Right. Don't discount your awesomeness. Yes. With that, I think that's probably a good segment into let's talk about how it started. So I feel like I lead this conversation every time we talk about this in person to whoever we're explaining this to. So I feel like it would be super fun if you explained your perspective. And I'm, of course, going to interject because a Well, we have to do each other's voices in the first conversation that we Okay. We have to role play there of ourselves.
00:13:17
Speaker
Yeah. So we were... 10th grade. It was history, world history, honors. Which shocks me still. I was in an honors history class. Yeah. I just remember that because of my mediocre grades.
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah. Apparently I did not speak very much in this class. Zero times you spoke, not one word. Yeah. And so I was overhearing a conversation of which Anne-Marie had made a very bold statement of not wanting to do any shopping.
00:13:49
Speaker
and if she could, she would just do it all online, which was just confusing. Innovative and trailblazing. Like I've said, you know, it just, it's wild to think in that time, early 2000s, that you were just already thinking like, I mean, where was Jeff Bezos? He was nowhere. And like, here's Ann Marie, just like calling it like it is today.
00:14:12
Speaker
Yeah. So, which I replied, You like shopping? yeah Okay. Okay. But let's, it's but just for context. It was, it came out.
00:14:23
Speaker
Yes. It was so visceral and it was like immediate. It was like, she wasn't even in her body when she said it. She just, it was, i so was like, i hate shopping. If I could do it all, I would do it all on online. You like shopping?
00:14:35
Speaker
And that was, those were the first words that Helena ever spoke to me. Like shopping? She helped them. Question mark, exclamation point. And also still true to me today. Speak and then think.
00:14:48
Speaker
Well, I don't, I don't know that that's necessarily true, but my observation was going to be as shy as you were and as quiet as you were. you could not contain yourself when it came to that topic in particular. That was literally, I i knew a person existed there as a body in the row next to me in a couple seats, but I ah like had no, i mean, she literally did not speak before that moment.
00:15:09
Speaker
And we had a mutual friend in that class. I guess she would talk to you and she would talk to me and maybe I just wasn't paying attention up to that point. And we're talking like a couple of weeks into class. This wasn't, you know,
00:15:21
Speaker
day two of the class. I don't know how much time there was after that. I had a job at that point. I started working early on. Helena also had a job and yeah, it was a, it was a job.
00:15:33
Speaker
It was a job. It paid money. There was a paycheck. There was money involved. Yes. Did you get a check? Maybe we're going in dangerous territory. Statute of limitations. Right. No, I think we're I'm pretty sure we got paid in cash.
00:15:45
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, we made cash tips and then, yeah, he, he definitely paid us. It was nominal. Yeah. It's fine. Whoever's listening from the Internal Revenue Service, it's fine. It was under the threshold, i can confirm. The two days a week that we and I worked.
00:15:59
Speaker
she got me a job at this hot dog stand that was outside of a hardware store that was very close to my home. Still, were... We were casual acquaintances at that point. I mean, I i liked you and and I would have said my friend from school, but I certainly wouldn't have said my best friend. I would have said at that point that our our mutual friend who neither of us have any relationship with now, because that's what happens in high school sometimes, the one who was the the common connector, I would have said she was probably a better friend at that point yeah to both of us, I think.
00:16:29
Speaker
I was working at a grocery store on the weekends. I was working at the hot dog stand during the week, which were the shifts that nobody else wanted to take. So we, our paths didn't even really cross at the hot dog stand because you were more the weekend crew.
00:16:41
Speaker
Like i I think I did one or two shifts on the weekend and was like, I cannot do this. It was so busy. it really i don't know i guess it makes sense now that i'm an adult and i understand like the culture of a hardware store you go to the hardware store on the weekends because you're gonna get your sod and your topsoil and your whatever and then there was a hot dog stand right there with oh man the part sidebar part of the perk of the hot dog stand is we could eat whatever we wanted and there was there was icies oh my god there were the the cookies i would just eat the cookie dough the frozen cookie dough
00:17:13
Speaker
Yes, ma'am. but And then we just had like a griddle. So it was like jumbo hot dogs, regular hot dogs. We could have that. What was it? It was like a Cajun yeah had the sandwich cow chicken They had Philly cheesesteak.
00:17:25
Speaker
Man, we were slinging. We were cooking. We actually cooked food. I mean, this was like all life skills. We could cook. We could run a register. We ran customer service.
Coping with Loss and Strengthening Bonds
00:17:37
Speaker
I mean, yes, we solved problems. problems yeah we had responsibility because they trusted us with the set of keys. <unk>s Actually, that's a really good point. Actually, it was. And we got to eat whatever we wanted. And then we came home smelling like a hot dog.
00:17:51
Speaker
Yeah. I don't miss that. Thankful. Grateful for it so we fast forward. i remember from those conversations in the, in the very early days, she talked about her mom constantly.
00:18:04
Speaker
So there was something that I understood about Helena, which was your mom was your best friend. And I didn't get that. Cause I was not best friends with my mom. And i remember you said, i was talking to my mom the other day and I was like, mom, when I get my license, can we still drive together? And I was mind blown. was like, I don't understand what that relationship looks like, but good for her. It was very clear that you treasured your relationship with your mom and that she equally treasured her relationship with you. You guys were very, very close.
00:18:31
Speaker
I knew that you were very active members of the Italian American club. Obviously, if you can see Helena's face right now, Italian. We know we can't, I can't hide my face. Can't hide your face for better, for worse.
00:18:44
Speaker
And I met your mom couple of times, but I remember meeting her she dropped you off, I think at the hot dog stand, maybe we were working together one shift, maybe it was when you were training me. That's that had to have been what it was. And she came to pick you up.
00:18:58
Speaker
And she got out of the car. And she was just beautiful. like She was just so lovely. And not just in appearance, she was but just her whole demeanor. She was just lovely. And sweet. And then I think my mom showed up and she who is also beautiful and lovely.
00:19:14
Speaker
Love you. They met and that was sweet. And my mom is also Italian. She will use her maiden name as a qualifier because it's a very Italian yeah name. And she will say, hi, my name is. And then she will give her maiden name to everyone so that they understand that she has the Italian street cred. It's hilarious. So I imagine that's what she did with your mom as she introduced herself and was like, me too. I think your mom said you came to school and you were like, oh, my mom, you know, mentioned maybe inviting you guys to the Italian American club. So that was, that was sort of the intro of all of it is, you know, I knew your mom, I knew of her. I knew that that was a very special relationship to you.
00:19:49
Speaker
We break for spring break. Helena and I are still just acquaintances. I would say still friendly. We're definitely friendly. We like each other. We're fond of each other. i get a call over spring break from our mutual boss. And he asked me if I can pick up a s shift for Helena.
00:20:03
Speaker
i was like, yeah, great. So I go in and he says, okay, so can you also pick up this shift and this shift and this shift? Cause she's not gonna be back for a while. And he kind of said it to me as though I was supposed to know what was going on.
00:20:15
Speaker
And we didn't, I don't, maybe we had cell phones. We probably didn't have each other's numbers. We definitely didn't have any social media. Yeah. I definitely had a cell phone. But we we were not contacting each other. Certainly we weren't texting. Again, we were not that good of friends at that point. We didn't really know each other that well. So it was, we had broken for spring break.
00:20:31
Speaker
This is before everyone was sharing what they were eating for breakfast with each other every day. So we really didn't, we just didn't know. And so I was like, why? Why is she not going to be back? And he shared some news. And Helena, do you want to talk about um your spring break experience and what that was like? Yeah. So it was spring break. My parents had gone out one evening and they had gone dancing.
00:20:53
Speaker
As I often did, per my mom's request, my dad was not a dancer. Very sweetly went along with the requests of my mom because that's what she loved to do. Life of the party, love to sing, love to dance and just kind of be out having fun. And so they had gone on a date.
00:21:11
Speaker
Vividly remember that evening ah had stayed up with my grandma and I was in the living room and I fell asleep on the couch. I remember hearing my parents coming in because them coming into the house woke me up.
00:21:27
Speaker
And I just remember thinking, oh, good. Mom and dad are home. And just kind of going back to sleep. And that evening, my mom passed away in her sleep from what we later found out was just a heart virus that we didn't know that she had.
00:21:44
Speaker
And it very subtly attacks the lighting of your heart. And so she... did not suffer, but it was just something very sudden and unexpected that happened.
00:21:57
Speaker
So understandably so, it was chaotic in my family from that point forward for a little while. She was the glue that kind of held us all together, and I think The months and few years following that, it was very evident. And so, yeah, that was crazy time for our family. But that also is what kind of bridged our relationship and allowed our friendship to grow deep very quickly.
00:22:22
Speaker
And I think I had not experienced true deep friendship at that point in my life. However deep you could get at 16 years old. I think depth comes when real life circumstances happen and there's people that walk through that with you. And I think that's what you were for me um because you were support and you were friendship that I didn't even know that I needed the um I had, you know, obviously no idea what I needed and everybody in our family kind of dealt with it very differently, but I felt alone and in need of community and you filled that void.
00:23:06
Speaker
i just remember our boss told us and I called our mutual friend immediately and was like, we have to keep her busy. I was just so scared for you, you know, and I, we were both 60. Well, no, I was 50, but We were we were both teenagers that had our own issues and certainly neither of us were very emotionally mature. But I was just like, she's not going to be okay. I was scared for you because I knew how close you were with your mom.
00:23:32
Speaker
I don't know why. it was just like, I called you and somehow you were able to explain what happened, which was striking. It stayed with me just to hear you as a child, you know, both of us children explaining something that shouldn't have happened that you were very much living.
00:23:51
Speaker
And so it was like, you were saying these things and you were not even in your body. was It was like, it's yes, this happened, but, but this is not real, but through that. So that was the beginning of spring break. I think.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It was like the weekend, The first weekend. So we, yeah, so we broke for spring break and it was a weekend. Yeah. So then it was the the funeral processions again, Italian. It was the whole week.
00:24:15
Speaker
And so we spent the whole week together of spring break. It was, I was raised Catholic. So it was definitely a organized memorial experience that honestly, I don't think I had been to a funeral.
00:24:33
Speaker
So I didn't really even, I was kind of experiencing it all. For the first time with you. Yeah, it was all very out of body for sure. and I mean, in fairness, we wouldn't be friends. yeah And not to say that it happened so that we would be friends.
00:24:47
Speaker
But over and over again, I've seen just the ah beautiful mosaics that God makes out of our broken pieces. So I'm so thankful for our
Navigating Friendship Challenges
00:24:57
Speaker
friendship. I would not have wished for it to happen this way. And I'm sure you wouldn't have either.
00:25:02
Speaker
And at the same time, something that we gained from that Yeah. is the reason we're here right now. That's the beginning of the story is, is that's what happened. We, we weren't friends and suddenly we were, yeah,
00:25:15
Speaker
i really After that week, it was not there wasn't a point where it was just like, did we just become best friends? We just were. That was it. We were always at each other's houses. We were always spending time together. i was thinking the other day about just some of the early years and stuff. like What are some things that you remember? just like Just quick things that you remember about stuff that we did in in those early years. i We're probably thinking of the same one, but you go first.
00:25:41
Speaker
you want to count to three? One, three. three Going and watching the sunrise. Going to the beach and watching sunrise. Good one, Helena.
00:25:53
Speaker
I swear, it wasn't planned. No, I just remember like sneaking into my dad's room because I knew there was a flashlight or something in there that I needed.
00:26:04
Speaker
and like you had spent the night at my house. And we're getting chairs or flashlights. I was getting something out of his room. And he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, just very matter of fact,
00:26:15
Speaker
we're going to go drive to the beach and watch the sunrise. And he was like, oh, okay. And just like goes back to sleep. But I think we were like, was, it was probably junior year at that point. So it's like, it's not like we were, anywho.
00:26:30
Speaker
But yeah, that was, that was fun. I just, and do you remember soundtrack? Cause that is always in my mind too. Our Lady Peace. Oh, yes. Yeah. Oh,
00:26:43
Speaker
Of course. That's still such a good album. We actually, sidebar, we listened to this. When we decided we were going to do a podcast, we listened to Our Lady Peace on that road trip. Six months ago, i was the DJ and I put on Our Lady Peace and oh man, it's coming back to me. i'm feeling all the feels. And we would stop at the gas station and get those awful, amazing gas station cappuccinos.
00:27:08
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I think I got a cookie too, like a big giant cookie. Well, we did it more than once. We did it a lot. I tried to recreate that with other people. It just was not the same. Like that was our thing. You go to the beach and you watch the sunrise.
00:27:22
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it was in a very specific beach too because it was one that at the time, probably not anymore, but at the time there wasn't as many people that would go there. No, that's where all the people are now.
00:27:34
Speaker
Yes. It was, they took our beach. So thanks. Enjoy our beach. Y'all. We used to go to Starbucks a lot. We did. remember one very specific. You introduced me to an upside down. No, you introduced me to a caramel macchiato and the barista said, do it upside down. ah see if I did, that was just me trying to pretend like I knew what I was ordering.
00:28:00
Speaker
you said you needed, well, I had never had coffee. which thanks for that. I don't drink coffee anymore, but that started 20 year extreme dependency that I had to break. Was it your gateway to other caffeinated drinks? Yeah, yes.
00:28:15
Speaker
The sugar-free Red Bull in college. It was the gateway, wasn't it? Yeah, well, i kicked the sugar-free Red Bulls a long time ago, but yeah that was that was my breakfast some days. It sugar-free Bull. Sugar-free Red Bull? We do better when we know better.
00:28:28
Speaker
i bought I remember getting from like Sam's Club or somewhere a pallet of sugar-free Red Bull. And it was just under my bed. And then I would just throw some in the fridge from time to time. It was what a mess. It is not delicious.
00:28:40
Speaker
You introduced me to coffee at that Starbucks down the street from both of our homes back in the day. And then I would order an upside-down caramel macchiato because something about maybe and the milk goes on top.
00:28:52
Speaker
So it was less coffee. And then the milk kind of seeps down into it and keeps it from being so coffee-ish. so The barista explained it. And I was like, i don't know. You sound like you know what you're talking about. And i liked it. So I kept ordering it.
00:29:03
Speaker
And then it was like the the java chip frappuccino that they no longer have. Oh, yes. Oh, do you also remember going to the Y to work out and then also going straight to Taco Bell?
00:29:16
Speaker
Can anybody else relate to that? Were we the only idiots who did that? We were like, oh, we want to lose weight. And then we would immediately go to Taco Bell and just blow up Taco Bell afterwards. Yes. Every time.
00:29:27
Speaker
Yeah. I was like, I ran for 20 minutes. Very counterproductive. I earned it. I earned this. So those were the early years, just us being silly. We did spend a lot of time at the beach. Our school schedule. Do you remember this? It was very interesting. We had a half day every other Wednesday.
00:29:42
Speaker
you remember that? Yes. And that was the only time because y'all would get off early for other stuff and y'all could go to the beach, but I was working. So every other Wednesday i could go to the barbecue place that will not be named get barbecue.
00:29:57
Speaker
And then we could go to the beach. I think, and and this is important that we did have a little tiff our senior year. I do not remember what it was about. i don't remember what happened, but I started hanging out with a different crew.
00:30:10
Speaker
Yeah. I'll do respect to them. Not as cool as Helena. Then at some point, ah so the Super Bowl came to our little town. Yes. Our senior year of high school. So we weren't talking for some period.
00:30:22
Speaker
Do you remember why we were fighting? What's it over? Probably. Probably. But not not like a boy that we were fighting over. Not that we were both after the same boy. I think it was we struggled and I would assume other teenagers struggle with the same thing. Just like the wanting to date a boy while also maintaining friendships and then those dynamics changing and then making somebody mad in the process because your time cannot be spent equally.
00:30:56
Speaker
Well, I think I was the one that initiated the problem. I do think it was mutual because I think it was around that time that it was like, you know, first of all, we spent so much time together. So then it was like he to add another person into that was just problematic. There wasn't room. There literally wasn't. My schedule is full. It says Helena Monday through Sunday every week.
00:31:17
Speaker
And so i think that was part of it. And then it was like, I think you got upset because I was taking away some of our friend time. But then you also found yourself in a similar position not that long after that.
00:31:30
Speaker
Then it was like, well, you're mad at me, but you're, you good you know, and so we had a little silly high school tiff and we didn't talk for some month. And then we all went out downtown for Super Bowl.
00:31:43
Speaker
And then for some reason, i think it was like we were on the bridge that I've run over so many times now. And I think we both were just like, can we just stop being stupid? And like, and then it was fine.
00:31:53
Speaker
And then we were fine again. How I never? Because I think it was very, it was not, it was not a proper apology. If there's one thing you and I i think, could stand to improve upon is we could probably do a better job of addressing things.
Post-High School Journeys
00:32:05
Speaker
Like we, in our, in our most recent road trip that we did over the summer, we talked about stuff from 10 years ago that it was like, oh, we should probably talk about this. Like this was, this was, it this was messed up and I'm sorry.
00:32:17
Speaker
And there's probably older stuff. So if there's, we're not, our friendship is amazing, but like if we could, if we could stand to do better on something, it's probably like conflict resolution. We just are like, forgive her It's fine.
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah. Well, I think, too, I'll speak for myself that that's how I operated. and It was like, we're just going to pretend like that didn't happen. Okay. And then you're going to know that I'm there because I'm just going to stand over here and smile and wave.
00:32:45
Speaker
And you could take that or you could just keep standing over there. There's the perfect illustration of that. we were in the car. So my upbringing was you call everybody out on all their stuff all the time.
00:32:57
Speaker
So that was a very interesting dynamic between the two of us. Cause I was always like, something's not right. And I'm going to say it. And then Helena would just not say anything. So, and then we would just move on. And there was one time we were in your car. i think we were driving and,
00:33:11
Speaker
I was calling some stuff out that was bothering me. And I said at the end of it, and all you're going to do when this is over is you're going to wait for the minutes to pass. And then you're just going to like change the subject.
00:33:21
Speaker
And so there was maybe two minutes of silence. And then you went, Ooh, I like this song. And you turned it away. Exactly what was going to happen. And my husband would say to you,
00:33:36
Speaker
amen
00:33:39
Speaker
conflict avoidant. Yes. And I, I was very much the opposite. I was like, I'm going to be your nerve. And I, I think I've calmed down a little, but. Yeah. Which is so funny because my best friend is that way.
00:33:53
Speaker
And my husband is that way. Yeah. for They're like, no, I'm going to hold your feet to the fire. And we're not going to move past this because that's not healthy. And I'm just like, you're like a little slippery Houdini. You're like, no, just wait for this.
00:34:08
Speaker
Yep. This too shall pass. Yeah. Don't worry about it. i got time on my side. You didn't see Exactly. Okay. Well, speaking of that, that's how it started and how it was for a while. Let's talk about the middle.
00:34:23
Speaker
And we're going to fly over this. Just fly. Yes. 10,000. Because the middle is a lot of the twists and turns. Obviously, our relationship started with some twists and turns, but the middle is pretty turbulent.
00:34:35
Speaker
I want to be very careful about the middle because obviously there are many people involved in our lives at every point in our life, but they're, you know, our stories are our stories and everyone else has their perspective. So I just want to be super careful about flying over this middle part.
00:34:53
Speaker
So we'll start with my shenanigans, unless you'd like to start somewhere else, feel free. Yeah. so what's is Is there a way we could just do what I do best and stay quiet?
00:35:07
Speaker
There was a point shortly after high school that Helena describes as the summer that we were unstoppable. And i really wish someone would have stopped us.
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah. It's not the year we graduated. It was that following year. Yeah. Yeah. We did not leave. We didn't leave after high school. We stayed kind of put where we were.
00:35:31
Speaker
We each had some big dreams. i got a job. That's the story. is It was super thankful for it. And it it ended up being a career, which it was a total accident, but it happened to stick, which was incredible. So I was working and Helena, you were in school.
00:35:52
Speaker
yeah We had some friends that were um close by a couple hours drive. So we would, we would see them at school. We would stay, you know, I was, I was making money. Everybody else was getting their education.
00:36:04
Speaker
And so we were just total idiots. Can we just be clear? We were complete morons in that year. yeah there's yeah That's one of the, there's, there's several, I'm not sure how I'm alive moments, but I, that that summer in particular, like what are example,
00:36:19
Speaker
this one for This one's okay. no one no one No one was hurt in the filming of this. So we lived in ah in a place that had a lot of water. And also a lot of it was very recently before that, just woods.
00:36:33
Speaker
There was a friend's house that we would spend some time at, quite a bit of time. And they lived on the water. And so they had different water vessels. And...
00:36:45
Speaker
boats? Well, no, no. The story i'm going to tell is about a canoe. I'm not telling the boat story. We'll leave that one off. Okay. That one for sure. I'm not sure how, anyway, no, I'm going to talk about the canoe. So one night we would, we would just be there in the evenings and late, late into the evenings doing a bonfire, hanging out on the dock, whatever.
00:37:06
Speaker
And this one evening, someone was like, Hey, you want to go hunting for gators? And I was like, okay. Okay. So we got in canoe. I don't think you're there for this. Well, you weren't in the canoe. I'll tell you that much. There was one person in the canoe besides me.
00:37:21
Speaker
We get in a canoe and go out in the middle of the night on the water. And all we have is the canoe. And there were, I mean, we're shining lights and we don't even need to shine lights because the lights are reflecting all of the eyes of the gators that are surrounding us in the water. And we are total idiots. Like,
00:37:38
Speaker
So that's just one little, for instance, of what that summer was like that I was just like, sure, I'll get in your canoe and go gator hunting. Yeah. And anyway, though that was, that was a summer after high school. And then i made an even more impressively stupid decision and I decided to move all the way across the country away from everyone that I knew.
00:37:59
Speaker
And that I think I'm, I'm supremely surprised And impressed and grateful that we stayed friends through that experience because it was all consuming experience. So I was very young and yeah I, we were both very young and and we really, that was the point at which we both kind of went very different directions.
00:38:24
Speaker
Yeah. So you also moved just not not far from from our home. And I moved as far away as you could get from our home and staying on the same continent.
00:38:35
Speaker
Somehow with time difference and just very, very, very, very different life circumstances, we moved. stayed friends. Like you came and visited, which we didn't have the money for a plane ticket all the way out there at that point. I don't even know how that happened, but, and survived that visit too, where we were.
00:38:54
Speaker
I have this picture steered in my mind and it's an actual picture. I'm so thankful my mom took of it. It was, i think the night before i left and you were leaving, you were saying goodbye to me and we just gave each other the biggest hug. And the look on your face was like,
00:39:11
Speaker
It was the sweetest smile. it was so warm. and it was just like a, it was like, I love you. and I hope this turns out okay. You know, like it was, I don't know, there was something about it that was that, that I will never forget. Even, you know, I got the picture from my mom a few weeks later and I was like, what did I do? Like, why did I leave? What was I thinking?
00:39:33
Speaker
Well, no, I just, I, I remember, you know, us making very different choices. and not feeling like, gosh, I wish you would just do the same thing that I'm doing, but selfishly, like not wanting you to go so far away. i think I have, and this is probably still true to my personality, ignorant bliss towards things where I'm like, I don't think that that's going to pan out the way that it might. But if it doesn't, then that just means she's going to come back and then we'll be happy.
00:40:11
Speaker
which is what happened. I did. Which is what happened, thankfully. But like not in like a malicious, I hope this doesn't work out for you. Yeah. Like my hope was for you to be genuinely happy. And if that was that, then that would have been great. But if not...
00:40:29
Speaker
Well, and in that time period, what was really, what was cool about that time period is we did keep in touch. We talked very often. You made some friends that are now part of our greater friend group. So it was like, I had lots of new friends when I did eventually come home that it was like, I kind of already knew them because we had talked so much about them. You're like, my friend, this person, and my friend, this person. So i already excited to meet and know these people. And I felt like I did already know them. The silver lining of that time in my life. And again, with respect to everybody else that was involved in that situation, i think it's only fair to share my experience. And it's really the rest of the story is not mine to tell. But through all of that, one, um I'm thankful for the lessons that I learned from I'm thankful for the ways that God preserved my life.
00:41:17
Speaker
I'm thankful for the grace that i received from my family and my friends. I'm thankful that our friendship endured. And I'm super thankful that when I came home, it wasn't just you anymore. It was like we had a broader group of friends that we're still very good friends with today. Yeah.
00:41:35
Speaker
So, yeah. I mean, i think at that time too, it's like, oh, these are my new friends and Emery's my old friend. And now it's like, you're still my older friend, like friend that I've had for longer.
00:41:46
Speaker
But then I look at the years that we've been friends with this whole group. And i'm like, oh, dang, we've been friends with everybody for a long time. Long time. Yeah. And we lived a lot of life together. And I'm super thankful, super thankful for that. And I don't know that I would have made those friends on my own.
00:42:02
Speaker
You know, I don't I don't know that any one of those gals would have been like, oh yeah, I'd like to get to know her better. Yeah. We're all so different. Like there' yeah there's, there's a good size group of us and it's kind of like just a whole melting pot yeah of personalities.
00:42:17
Speaker
Yeah. So the middle for you was Yeah.
00:42:27
Speaker
good start. Yes. The middle. So we're, our middle is after high school. i Yeah. Yeah. wanted to go to college. I, for whatever reason, had no idea what that meant, but wanted it very badly. i had this romanticized idea of college and those experiences.
00:42:53
Speaker
And I wanted to experience that. In my mind, the way that I saw going to college, college equals college. better life. So I was like, that sounds good.
00:43:06
Speaker
Like that's a surefire way that I could be in a better position that I'm finding myself in now. I had no guidance on how to do that. And so so I went to, where did I go? Just the local community college at 18 years old and was like, can I take school, please.
00:43:29
Speaker
Can I sign up for school? would like ah an order of classes, please. I would like to do this. And I just remember probably feeling nervous and embarrassed that I was trying to accomplish this and I had nobody with me.
00:43:44
Speaker
There wasn't a parent. There wasn't anybody saying, this is how you go about it. This is how you do this. And I just remember One of the guidance counselors saying to me, like, I'm so proud of you.
00:44:01
Speaker
You're doing this. And typically kids your age are being told they have to do it by their parents. Moving across the country and being total morons or being told they have to do it by their parents. Yeah.
00:44:14
Speaker
Yeah, and I just remember thinking, well, this is what you're supposed to do, right? And I probably was like a little bit of like a trying to do what i ought to do or what I'm supposed to do. There's still a little bit of that in me as well.
00:44:29
Speaker
But all that to say, i had a genuine desire to be there. Like I wanted to do well. I wanted to prove myself capable of accomplishing that.
00:44:41
Speaker
It wasn't an option to not. for me. I had no idea how. I had no plan. And that's, I still don't have a plan. I never have a plan. ah It's what drives my husband crazy about me is I never have a plan.
00:44:55
Speaker
um I just was there. And I'm like, well, I'm here. going to figure it out because I want Well, there's a will, there's a way. And so I found myself getting through school, finishing and then transferring to a university to finish my last two years.
00:45:13
Speaker
And the situation not panning out well there to where I had moved. Honestly, because I liked the school. I wanted to go to the school first and foremost, but it just didn't work out. So then I moved back home to finish at the university where we're from and ended up meeting my husband at college.
00:45:39
Speaker
So that worked out. So in summation it was what you were supposed to do. You just didn't know Correct. So I thought, you know, i was ah failure. I hadn't, you know, I was, I was graduating a year late. I wasn't graduating on time and ah took a gap year before that was a thing, but all that led to being in a class where I would meet who is now my husband.
00:46:05
Speaker
So I remember that text, that poor man, he endured so much. That's part of the middle, isn't it? Yes. So in the middle of all those shenanigan years is when I met and started dating my husband.
00:46:18
Speaker
And then he got the third degree from Helena's best friend a lot. He did not exhibit gentlemen, like behavior because we were all acting like idiots.
00:46:31
Speaker
We were all silly. He just, you know, again, i'm going to call you on your stuff, whether it's my place to it or not. yeah And especially back then. So, and he handled it like a champ. but He did. So he, you know, thing about it is I understand what you were calling out, but knowing him and the little bit that I did at that point, let's be honest, the time that I had spent with him and what I could see,
00:46:58
Speaker
i Would like to think that I tend to have a decent judge of character when it comes to reading people. And I felt like there's certain things that I know are not his best, but there's something there.
00:47:12
Speaker
Like there's something better that's deeper and he's withholding it. Like I just remember feeling very confident about that. Like he's capable of better. He's not doing it right now.
00:47:22
Speaker
And like maybe that's not for me to experience and I need to move on. But I know it's he's capable of it Well, that's love, isn't it? that's That's seeing someone at their highest and best and and choosing to see that rather than the other.
00:47:36
Speaker
As you were saying it, it was like, I think each one of our friends, if it were multiple choice, ah the husbands that you ended up with now, I understand it. But at the time that you each were getting married, it was like, huh.
00:47:48
Speaker
Wouldn't affect that if it were multiple choice. And as I've obviously gotten to experience your relationships and I got to experience everyone's relationship as a single lady and a very introspective single lady. So I definitely was observing. And so I was single for a hot minute, but I recognize like, that's it. That's your person is your person.
00:48:06
Speaker
And you just, you love them because you do. And you do see the things that other people maybe don't recognize. And when you can believe in that and you can help them to see it as well,
00:48:18
Speaker
That's what makes a beautiful relationship. And you have each done that for each other. Yeah. We often say in our in our marriage that my husband was up here very confident in himself. And I was down here very not confident in myself. And so i had to we had to balance each other where I had to let him know, yes, you are very amazing, but you're not perfect.
00:48:41
Speaker
I'm so sorry to bear that news to you. But... Like, and he would say, you're, you're pretty great yourself where I didn't feel it. So I want to say about the middle and about college for you, because you won't say it to yourself. And I think this is something to be celebrated.
00:48:56
Speaker
and I also, I hope that this is encouraging to other people. So one, you already said this was something you were really doing independently. And it's not to say that you didn't have encouragement and it's not to say that you didn't have some,
00:49:07
Speaker
community around that, including family, but you really were driving this ship. Like this was you steering the ship and it was you putting the gas in the ship. What I was always so impressed by, remember, like I started in the workforce at 18. So I was making my money and paying my bills and, and being an independent woman and whatever while everybody else was in school.
00:49:29
Speaker
But I remember watching Helena ha her way through college and without student loans, without anything else. She paid her way through college.
00:49:41
Speaker
And I was so impressed at the way that you were so such a good steward of all the things that you had. And I say that to say it's possible and it is hard, but I also remember like the piece that you felt like you graduated and it was like, that's it.
00:50:00
Speaker
Like there's, you did not have this mountain of debt to deal with. You didn't have any
Podcast Name Significance
00:50:05
Speaker
of those things. It was just like, I did this thing and it's done. And, and that was at the time I was just like, don't know how she did that, but i watched you do it.
00:50:14
Speaker
I don't know how I did that either. you But you did it. Like, you you you here's how you did it. You made hard choices. Like, you did not go and do everything that you technically could have done and that the rest of us were doing.
00:50:27
Speaker
You, instead, you like, you budgeted and you were disciplined with that. And you've always been really inspirational for a lot of reasons. But I was always just like, man, she is way older than her age in those decisions. Like, it was just such a wise thing. And I was always so impressed by that.
00:50:44
Speaker
Well, thank you. Yeah, I will say that was very hard. There was a lot of things that I think it's very interesting now from my perspective, having children, i would assume that every parent, every generation, like their goal is to provide better experiences and a better life than what they experienced.
00:51:07
Speaker
My husband and I talk about this where we had to bust our behinds to get through college because we had to work the whole time. And we don't want our girls.
00:51:18
Speaker
We want our girls to get to experience that and and and enjoy and not feel so stressed. But that's what kind of developed a lot of the character that we have. So it's just if anybody has any advice it.
00:51:34
Speaker
Anybody wiser that could say like, i you know, there's got to be a balance. There's got to be just kind of letting the responsibilities kind of add up a little bit incrementally. Maybe it's the right answer to that. I don't know. But it just, I've heard it described that it's like,
00:51:51
Speaker
When you have no other option but to survive, that is grit. But that's not always necessarily the best. Like, I want our girls to feel supported and taught how to handle things as they come versus...
00:52:07
Speaker
sink or swim because I think that was probably the emotion that I felt that I was kind of used to right after losing my mom the way that I did it was just kind of sink or swim like there's no other choice but survival either you do this because their alternative is not an option so you just gotta I forget that too because I I don't feel alone the way that I did in those years because I've had my husband and now my family for so long that it's a good reminder that that was kind of that driving force was not being where I wanted to be and wanting something better and different.
00:52:50
Speaker
And I would think that a lot of people can relate to that for sure. So that is, that's our, that's the middle for now. That's a flyover. I'll say in there, so Helena met her husband um and then Anne-Marie didn't meet anybody.
00:53:09
Speaker
So that was fun for everybody, for Anne-Marie. I always felt like, you know, being the be in the third wheel. it's an And I look back on it now, it was three years.
00:53:21
Speaker
Three years from the time you got married until I met my husband. And a lot happened in that three years, but yeah it was three years. it was it was It feels like so much time in the moment. And honestly, it was no time at all.
00:53:34
Speaker
if you're, you like I said, if you're not where you want to be, it feels like an eternity, right? Because those years of college felt like 30 years because it wasn't where I wanted to be.
00:53:44
Speaker
Right. Well, you did a good job with it. But yeah, so that's the, that's sort of the rest of the middle that leads us to where we are now is, you know, and then we got married and now we are wives and mothers and, and figuring that piece of it out, which has its own twist and turn. So With that, ah I want us to talk a little bit about our collective and our individual whys. Why are we doing this? Why do we think that our life is worth bearing witness?
00:54:07
Speaker
Why why a podcast? Why twists and turns? Maybe we'll start there. We'll start with why twists and turns. Twists and turns, if you see the logo, it's got a pretzel on it because pretzels twist and turn. Why a pretzel?
00:54:20
Speaker
Why a pretzel, Helena? Why pretzel? Because I am... mildly obsessed with pretzels and that has been a running joke of my life. She's pretzel fanatic. Yeah, but you embrace it.
00:54:33
Speaker
She's like, she loves pretzels, like capital L loves pretzels. She's yeah obsessed with pretzels. How many pairs of socks do you have that have pretzels on them?
00:54:44
Speaker
only have two. Only two. okay too Target was selling these plush pretzel pillows and she bought all of them and then gave them away as gifts. So she cleaned out her local Target of these plush pretzel pillows thinking everyone's going to want one of these.
00:54:59
Speaker
So I think I have two. Why would you not? Yeah, you can't eat it, but you can look at it. It is in the form of pretzel. should remind you, oh, I need a pretzel. ah Oh, right. Yeah. So pretzels twist and turn.
00:55:11
Speaker
And our lives have twisted and turned. And so that is, that's, that's where the the name comes from. Can I also just add, and this literally just came to my mind. I'm very vividly, do you remember when Facebook would have you kind of fill out like your profile and describe yourself?
00:55:29
Speaker
Yeah. I remember there was this one, like 20 questions and you could like put that as part of your description. And I can't even tell you what the name or like what the question was, but I answered pretzels.
00:55:42
Speaker
I remember specifically saying, and don't ask me to share the twisty part because I will not share. That is my favorite part, which I find ironic because ah twisty part.
Sharing Life Experiences and Faith
00:55:54
Speaker
is my favorite part, but it's also kind of where a lot of life happens is that twisty part, you know? Oh, it's your favorite part. Your favorite part. It's my favorite part. You know, that's where the highs and lows are, right? Is that twisty part. And you can't appreciate the highs without acknowledging and finding ways to appreciate the lows.
00:56:15
Speaker
And that is true all encompassing of the twisty part, which is my favorite. So there have it. I love that. Only a true lover of pretzels could take that and make it a beautiful metaphor. and you did.
00:56:27
Speaker
We're waiting for our first pretzel sponsorship. So anybody. Any ends, I'm here. Any ends, I'm here for you. Wetzels, love your butter. ah Pretzel time.
00:56:39
Speaker
Yeah. and Never a bad time for pretzel time. Yeah. Yes. So that's the why twists and turns. And then we just want to talk about our why's. Why are we doing this? You want to give it a go?
00:56:51
Speaker
Yeah. My hope is through sharing our story, through sharing experiences as best friends, as people that have gone through a lot of life together, that it helps to just kind of inspire others to reflect on their own experiences.
00:57:08
Speaker
friendships and celebrate and love and appreciate those people. I was just thinking about the words I want to say is like justified my friendship with you because there's been times where not justify it to you, but there's been. My CDs are in her truck. We can't break it.
00:57:25
Speaker
We can't just dump each other here. But you know, there's, there's times when other people and in your life, they feel threatened by the depth of relationship that I have.
00:57:38
Speaker
And I feel like as I have gotten comfortable and confident in why it is not only good, but very good to have a friendship like we do is I'm kind of referencing a sermon that I know that we listened to it together at one point, but it's been many years that was specifically around friends.
00:58:03
Speaker
If you remember, you might not. It's okay. I remember in that it was either stated or caused me to think, friends, you don't have to be here. There is no obligation that you have.
00:58:14
Speaker
We are not blood related. There is no contract. There's nothing that says you have to be my friend. It's an act of choice. There's something really beautiful in that.
00:58:26
Speaker
And that's the church, right? It's like, I think that was the other realization that I made. It's not just, or not only, I think I should say, just a friend that I've had throughout my life. I think God was actually showing me without me realizing it.
00:58:41
Speaker
This is actually what the church is. It's people that I've put in your life that are supposed to be reflections of him. Yeah, that's it. I love that. The Bible says that Jesus is a friend closer than a brother.
00:58:54
Speaker
And I think that that's a hard thing to accept or understand or digest if you don't have friendship. It's the same as calling God a good father. Well, if you didn't have a good father, those two things are mutually exclusive almost. So it's it's difficult to see God as a good father if you didn't have a good father. Difficult to experience Jesus as a friend closer than a brother without understanding and appreciating friendship. It is such a gift for so many reasons. And it's not just for us to be like, hey, everybody, we're really good friends.
00:59:27
Speaker
Isn't that awesome? Don't you wish you had that? It's more than that. And it's not for us to just high five and be like, look at that. We've made it this far and sort of accidentally, but good for us. High five. There is, there's more to it than that.
00:59:39
Speaker
So I love that. i don't know how else to be, but 100% authentically me. And if somebody is around me and continues to be around me, cause they've experienced all of me, they must know me and stay.
00:59:57
Speaker
still love me. so like, that's true love to me. And so always have felt genuinely known. And I think That's something i would hope everybody has the opportunity to feel in their relationship and would challenge somebody if they happen to be listening, you know, and and feel like they haven't experienced a certain depth of friendship is to try somebody to find somebody that you feel safe with and to be vulnerable and open with because it's it's worth it.
01:00:29
Speaker
Amen. Well, mine's, I guess, similar. So before we started this podcast, we shared our whys with each other on purpose. And that is to tether ourselves to why we're doing this so that we understand the purpose of it.
01:00:42
Speaker
So what I shared with Helena and what I want to share with you all is what really drove me. And this story kept coming up over and over again. I think it comes up in multiple gospels in the Bible, but it, but it specifically in John, they go really into depth with this man who was blind from birth.
01:00:58
Speaker
Jesus heals him miraculously immediately once Jesus heals him I think he I think it was one of the ones where he like spit in his eyes or something like put a paste anyway the scales came off and made a paste and then put it down his head yes okay and yes yeah he didn't spit directly into his eyes whatever he got his sight back regardless he's allowed to and he's God but like he can do it But I don't think yeah so Jesus heals him.
01:01:24
Speaker
And immediately this man who's been blind from birth starts getting interrogated by people around him. So it was like he Blind man, couldn't see, doesn't know who healed him.
01:01:35
Speaker
And he's getting interrogated by the religious elite, like, who did this? Well, who is he? Is he a prophet? who you know And they start asking him all these questions. And then they're asking his parents, because at first they were you know people were like, well, that's not really him.
01:01:48
Speaker
It's someone who looks like him, but it's not the same guy. so trying to discount that it had happened. And then they bring in his parents. And they're like, is this your son? They're like, that's our son. And he was blind.
01:01:59
Speaker
But we don't know what happened, you know, because they're not trying to get in the middle of it. I'm not, you know, it's not my business. I don't know what happened. But yes, I will bear witness to that as our kid. And he is an adult. So you can ask him. He can he can speak for himself.
01:02:10
Speaker
So they continue these. We're talking about the lawyers and the priests of the time. who are interrogating this man who has been blind from birth, which means he had no job. He had no means of providing for himself. And he very likely had no education.
01:02:23
Speaker
This guy don't know what happened. He just knows one thing i couldn't see. and now I can, and that guy is who did it. And that is literally what he says to them.
01:02:34
Speaker
I don't know who he is. i don't know anything. What I know is i couldn't see. And now I can see. And that is, i think, a perfect picture of what it means to bear witness to something.
01:02:46
Speaker
i am a student of the word and an and a an enthusiastic student of the word. I am not a theologian or a scholar. So I'm not here to get into a a religious debate, but I will tell you because i have lived it and we have lived it beside each other.
01:03:02
Speaker
i couldn't see and now I can. And that's the man that made it possible. So you talk amongst yourselves about who he is or isn't, but this is what I know.
01:03:13
Speaker
And so that's really my why in this is, I know that I shouldn't be here. I certainly know that I shouldn't be here in this room, in this place, in the roles that I'm in.
01:03:25
Speaker
And I know that we probably shouldn't have had this lifelong friendship that's been so life-giving and beautiful. Because it's not like we... did all the right things to make it happen and cultivate it and make it grow. Like there were we did a lot of things wrong. We were you not kind to ourselves or each other a lot of times and not considerate to ourselves and each other. This is a gift that has been given to us by God.
01:03:46
Speaker
And we are here to bear witness to each other's experiences because we have seen in each other's lives We've watched each other fall in love with Jesus. We've watched each other heal and grow and understand.
01:04:00
Speaker
And we are the ones who can bear witness to it because we've been there for each other. So that's my why. Like I said, we're not looking for a fight. We're just looking to tell you what we know and what we don't know. We'll tell you we don't know that.
01:04:11
Speaker
That's it. So so with that... I just want to tell you what you can expect coming up next. So the whole of this podcast is really the rest of the story. Heptered in there, we're going to throw in some super fun stuff. So for example, the holidays are coming up.
01:04:25
Speaker
We're going to talk about holiday traditions. We're going to talk about what we grew up with. We're going to talk about what we've carried into our own homes that we've made. And then maybe things we've thrown out or things that we've done differently. we're Just going to have a good old fashioned conversation about holiday traditions.
01:04:42
Speaker
We're going to give you lots of our hot takes on things like growing up millennials and what has aged well and what hasn't. ah We have aged So we're going to talk about, bless you. i don't know You have. You have it. Like, you look the same.
01:04:57
Speaker
I'm like, the i mean, we don't need to go into it. Just the place that we grew up in was super humid. And I just thought I had bad hair. And I don't think I did. I just didn't know how to do it. And it was so humid.
01:05:08
Speaker
so it was just always like... I can say that it's the same for me. No, yours was always, you would pull up in into my house with your full makeup and your hair done perfectly and your breakfast sandwich bumping, you know, whatever we were listening to. And I was like, my hair's never going look that good.
01:05:24
Speaker
We have different hair types. So anyway, but we're going talk about our journeys through counseling and therapy and what that's looked like for us, the stigma around it, what has benefited us, what hasn't.
01:05:34
Speaker
And then we also later We'll talk about people who inspire us. We're going to talk about the difference we've experienced between like working moms and non-working moms. We each have a very different perspective on this.
01:05:47
Speaker
All of these are conversations worth having, but I think that one in particular, where you're really going to see the differences in the two of us and the fact that we've ended up in a very similar space. And we're managing it very differently because like I'm a stay at home mom, but also um doing ah thousand other things that are still work and business related. Whereas you're like embracing the community of what you're doing.
01:06:10
Speaker
So we're going to talk about how we met our husbands, which is going to be so fun for everyone, especially our husbands when they hear it. yeah And then our journeys to motherhood.
01:06:21
Speaker
Very, very, very different stories. Equally beautiful. Coming up. soon, very soon, probably the next conversation we have, we're going to talk about a twist and turn in Helena's life.
01:06:32
Speaker
Do you want to share what we're going to be talking about, Helena? Yeah. So I just recently celebrated four years cancer-free and it will be this coming March will be five years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
01:06:51
Speaker
So that was definitely something that was unexpected to say the least had a lot of twists and turns and But at the same time, reflecting on it and during the trial was able to see God showing up and just his provision and just the community and everybody that he surrounded our family with.
01:07:10
Speaker
So super thankful you're willing to share that part of the story. you know, not everything is for the public. Some of it's just for us or just for you. And so i'm I'm super thankful that you're willing to share that because I know that there's so many people that are going to benefit
Future Podcast Themes and Invitations
01:07:22
Speaker
from that. And not just certainly people who are walking through that personally, but I think even just people who are in the community of those that are walking yeah through that. I think that's just a really valuable conversation. So I appreciate your vulnerability because I know that that is, i mean, I know because I was there, like,
01:07:40
Speaker
and Sometimes it's helpful to know what not to do as a, as just as much as it is valuable to hear what to do, you know, as somebody walking alongside. What to consider, like right perspective, you know, like there's, yes, it's, it's, it's happening to other people as well, but it isn't.
01:08:01
Speaker
Yeah. You know, right. but Yeah. 100%. Yeah. There's a lot there. so And we look forward to sharing that coming up very soon. So we also want to just say we welcome your feedback and commentary. So if there's things that you heard that you loved or want to hear more of or you have whatever it is you want to talk to us about, feel free to email us at twists, hear the S's, twistsandturnspodcasts at gmail.com.
01:08:27
Speaker
you can send us anytime. love to hear from you. So just in closing, we want to just reiterate and tell you that this podcast is our love letter to God, first and foremost. So if it benefits, inspires, or otherwise blesses you, we give all glory to him.
01:08:42
Speaker
And we're super glad you're along with us for the next Twister Turn. So thank you for listening. And if you loved our podcast, the best compliment you can give us is to share it with a friend. So hit that share button. We would sure appreciate it.
01:08:56
Speaker
Thanks for coming along, friends. We'll see you next time.