Transcript
Speaker: I don't understand why nobody likes the Yon -koot -koo. It's only in like, Mozart or Freedom, but like, come on. Oof. I wanted to see it. It's goofy fucking face.
Speaker: Lumbagi would have been fun, but there's no... It was a newer one. I know it's a newer one, but, uh, come on, a bunny penguin? Yeah, no. Hadn't I been in a cold environment? A bunny penguin. Penguin, bunny penguin. It's in Rise, yeah. It's gonna be a slight... It's in Rise, oh. Yeah. We're starting off to a great start. Yeah. Hi, everyone! Welcome to reshoot amateurs in those suits. Too many movies to explore.
Speaker: Ruthie, actor and Ed, left till the end, let's see something never done before. Or, oh, you know what? You know what? Also, it shouldn't have been or the rathalos at like the final boss or whatever the fuck the last one was. It was the obelos. The last one. There was the obelos, rathalos, and another one that's from a different. The elder dragon, right? Yeah. It's an elder dragon, yes.
Speaker: Why couldn't you just, you know, put the final boss of like every Monster Hunter game, the Fatilis. That's a good point. Yeah. The final boss of every Monster Hunter game. Hi everyone. I'm Hector. I'm Ruthie. I'm short. He's a, he's a, he's a Rathalos. No, we watched. Azure Rathalos.
Speaker: Anyway, sorry, we're gonna, great start. I'm sure the Monster Hunter fans who listen to this are probably like, oh, finally my people. Everyone else is like, what the fuck? Welcome to ReShoot, an amateur's guide to gooder film. A podcast where we watch movies and we try to make it better with our pea brains. We watched the Monster Hunter movie.
Speaker: This is one of the few movies I had a really hard time watching. Really? I don't know why, there was something about it. It had that bad movie energy that I like. Normally that's fine, but I guess it's what something I actually really enjoy. That you got so into. I got so into. I didn't feel any of that bad movie energy because it was trying to be a decent movie. And it did so bad. Yeah, that's the, like, I like bad movies when they know they're bad.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm like 50 -50 on it. I like movies that are like trying really hard, but then they're just, nope. But they're not self -aware enough to understand that they're a bad movie, you know? Yeah. Yeah. It tries to be like serious, but then it also tries to like appease the fans and it fails at both. Yeah. I'll do the quick summary and then we can just start talking. It failed me as a fan. It what? It failed me as a fan.
Speaker: Yeah, it failed me as a fan. Like, oh, can I just say one last thing? The whole tower thing, the whole tower, like how it's crumbled down and everything. It's all like the lightning also, the red blood red sky storm. Yeah. That is all fatalists. All of it is fatalists and they just don't have it. Like it's right there for you. Pieces of shit.
Speaker: I did some research for this, and I think that was from Monster Hunter 2. The Fatilis is in Monster Hunter 1. No, the Tower. The Tower. Okay, well, the Elder Dragon that flies out of the Tower, again, is not the Fatilis, it's from Monster Hunter 4. I mean, it might be Paul W .S. Anderson's favorite.
Speaker: Oh, dragon. I don't know. OK, I mean, let me start. We're going to be fan raising over this. Let me just get through the door is cooler. The rusted dragon. All right. Let me start before I forget my place. So it starts off with a lady named Artemis, who is a soldier. She's like the head commander general with general sergeant sergeant. She's a ranger. So they go out and explore first. They're going through a desert.
Speaker: And then there's a thunderstorm that approaches out of nowhere. There's like mini pillars. Obelisks, like tiny ones. And they line up with the thunderstorm, they go through to the Monster Hunter world. They're like, what the fuck is going on?
Speaker: There was a guy, the movie before that, though, I forgot to mention is a bunch of people on a ship sailing down the sand. It's really fun, actually, and it's led by Ron Perlman with the worst costume I've ever seen. I love Ron. He was great in this. But my God, that was the worst costume I've ever seen anyone in. It was great. They're sailing and then they get attacked by a Diablos and then Black Diablos.
Speaker: Black Devil, sorry. And then Tony Jaws character who has no name gets thrown off the ship and the ship goes without him because they think he died. Meanwhile, so the regular earthlings are sent, are like trying to survive. They see Diablos, they run the fuck away. They try and shoot them with everything and none of it works. And it gets embarrassing that they keep shooting the guns. Like I get that's their whole training, but like, come on.
Speaker: So they go hide in the cave, but oh no, there's giant spiders whose names I can't pronounce. I know they're an actual monster. Nier, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner, Ner,
Speaker: And then Tony Jara rescues, like takes her to his cave where it's just a little temporary hideout. And then while they're in the hideout, they can't talk because they have different languages, because there's a Monster Hunter language, which I'm very curious how accurate it was to the game. I don't know if the game has an accurate, honest thing, because I know it's an option, but I don't know if it's like an upset language. If any Monster Hunter fans want to comment and tell me, go for it. So then there's like a 20 minute
Speaker: hand -to -hand combat thing between Artemis and Tony Jha's character, which was cool to see Tony Jha acting, like fighting, but at the same time, it was 20 minutes of hand -to -hand human fighting, which never happens in Monster Hunter, ever. Oh, don't forget, there was like 50 cuts. And there was like 50, yeah, right, there was so many cuts. Like, 50 cuts for just like one punch for Mia, what's her face? I mean, she can, yeah, well, it's because she's against Tony Jha, and he's like probably like doing flips and stuff, and she's just trying to
Speaker: look like she can hold her own against a dude who is a literal like acrobat of a fighting man.
Speaker: So they fight, and then they become friends, because she's like, I'm not your enemy after he saved him from falling into the nest of spiders. And then they befriend each other, and they start to plan to get around the Rathalos. Diablos. Diablos, sorry, thank you. They're both under the oath, and it throws me off. I'm a fake fan, guys. I'm sorry. So that's going on. They get some stuff from the spider, like some pinchers for poison, and they use that to fight
Speaker: Rath, Rathlos? No, Deablos, Deablos. Deablos, yes. Deablos. And they fight the Diablos. Uh, Tony, she learns how to use the dual blades. Uh, she uses fire dual blades, which I'll come back to in a bit. Uh, she kills the Diablos. She gets to find the killing of the Diablos. Um, I should mention that even though he uses the, uh, Tony Jessica uses a bow, he also uses all, uh, the great sword.
Speaker: And then at the end. And I'm getting there. I'm going to get there. So she gets a kill. They scavenge some parts. She comes to some parts of it to make a shield for them. And then they become friends even more while they're surviving the desert throughout the night during the sandstorm. They get to this jungle area, which looks really pretty and actually looks like actual fucking monster hunter. They find the rest of his team as the Rathalos.
Speaker: uh burns a forest for no damn reason and then uh they knock her out because they think oh she might be one of the evil humans who might have been the ancient civilization it's implied that is that's why
Speaker: Yeah, because they think they might be connected to the ancient civilization that ruined. This is from the actual games. An ancient civilization ruined, he gives the Lord. Ron Perlman's character is the leader, and he can speak English for some reason. They briefly explain it, but some explanation makes no sense. And he's just like, oh yeah, no. The ancient civilization was making a lot of technology. They thought they could rule monsters, which is true.
Speaker: But then it, you know, the monsters still won at the end because they didn't respect nature. And now we're worried that you got you coming here might because of the technology and okay, we can trust you because Tony Joss said you're cool. Also, while she was escaping from her little prisons, her little jail cell, you see Calico, a Palico, which was like
Speaker: Surprisingly jacked. I loved it. They showed like the cookie montage I I love that little bit of fan service love that the games for non monster hunter fans a palico is a like a cat that's half the size of a human that is It walks on two legs and it assists with stuff in the games just and they also cook a lot Yes, it's so great. I love the palicos. I love palicos
Speaker: Sorry, fanboying over. That was like the last thing I really liked in the movie. So like, okay, we have to go to the tower. And what's there? Oh, it's a Rathalos. And then they try and fight the Rathalos, a fire breathing monster with their weapons having a fire element to them, which just pisses me off. So they fight, she gets, Artemis gets knocked off the tower and to the portal back to Earth.
Speaker: normal army start saving her but oh no their ship cuts destroy their ship their plane gets destroyed right there's a yeah there's those helicopters there's also planes yeah and they all keep getting destroyed because the Rathalos is tough and then
Speaker: She kills the Rathalos because the movie keeps spamming, they keep reminding you, like every five minutes after Ron Perlman tells about the Rathalos, like, oh yeah, his throat, right before he shoots fire, that's the weak point, that's the best time to do it. And I know it's not Ron Perlman, that sounds like the tough guy from the Rise game. That was an accident.
Speaker: she shoots she uses her crossbow thing that she got from the world that world shoots the uh canister of like explosive gas and then from there tony job pops back to help her
Speaker: because she set it up for the kill and then he kills it with like more explosive arrows, which is cool. And then this is the end of the movie. The portal's opening and then Ron Promis character's there with his, and he's just like, there's more monsters coming. We're gonna help you defend them, your world from them. And then it's an Elder Dragon swooping down and fucking Tony Shaw pulls out the insect leaf, my favorite weapon in the last five seconds of the movie. He even does a little vault and that's where it ends and I'm pissed.
Speaker: Yep. And then they fight. And then the sequel bait. With this movie, that's definitely not going to get a sequel. Every fucking fan hated it. Before we get into our fixes, out of curiosity, what weapons do we all make? I know Hector just spoiled, but... And sick life. I used the bow mostly.
Speaker: Well, I know there was the switch acts in your move in the movie. Yeah, the Admiral Ron Perlman. Yeah, he uses it. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I got both of my means the bow and the great sword. So I'm happy. Okay, so maybe one more thing. How did everyone discover Monster Hunter? I first heard about it from watching Ed play it on I think it was the PSP. Yeah, I played Monster Hunter freedom, freedom two and freedom unite.
Speaker: And so in freedom, the title monster is Arathlos, in freedom I fought it, read it, right? In Monster Hunter 2, it's the Tigrex, which you also fight later on. In Monster Hunter Freedom Unite, it's the Nagakuga. I'm like level seven, still haven't seen it.
Speaker: I thought that one. I'm like, I'm like, one level before the last level of the main quest. And I still haven't seen the Nargacuga. I've fought Taelstrom and the Nostra, but no Nargacuga. Nice. If anyone wants, if it's enough fan, look them up. They're pretty cool looking. Nargacuga is, I want to fight it, but it's a cool fight.
Speaker: I discovered the game by watching girlfriend reviews, describe it as crack. And I saw there was a dog and you could have a dog and you could pet the dog. I told Hector. Yeah. Oh, and right. I told Hector. There's dogs. Yes. They're really cool. They're really cute. Or is it Palamute or Palamute? No, it's Palamute. Why can't they just eat cats? There's cats too. You get a cat and you get a dog and you can pet both of them.
Speaker: Yeah, in freedom, and freedom too, you don't get a palico. In your night, you get a palico that helps you around. And that's, yeah, it is the cutest thing. Watching him try and fight the Lao Shanlong.
Speaker: I have tried multiple times again to Monster Hunter for years like my friends and colleagues made me play it. I couldn't get into it. I couldn't. It seems like your kind of game it's very Dark Souls combat. Yeah, I at the time though there's something about it that just like I hate it like there's no lock on which at the time frustrated me.
Speaker: There's a lock -on in Verizon, isn't there? No. There's no lock -on mechanics still. No, they're not doing it. No, there's a button to refocus your camera, but that's it. I don't even use that anymore. It's good for beginners, I don't use it anymore. I use it because I get turned around. Oh, that's fine. That's fine. With the insect leave, I just have to mentally calculate angles. I almost always use the auto center.
Speaker: Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do and I just play it wrong, but I don't. I mean, I don't use it often, but I use it to refocus on where I want to see, where I want to look. What finally started to get me into the games was I used to work at a kid's home and one of the kids was playing it.
Speaker: and he needed some help. Or he was like, I just met him and he was like playing the game. Like, I bet you can't do it. And then I somehow beat the boss he was stuck at first try with a great sword, which I'd never played with. And by that point, he kind of respect, he was like, oh damn, okay. And he like, I got some respect from him for that. And I got, by that point, I started to get into it. And then like, I thought it was cool. And then Ruthie wanted to get rise because of the Palamute.
Speaker: Pet that dog. Yeah, no, that's the one of the prize. Right. To get a dude's pet the dog. Also, also, did you did you switch the language to Japanese? I do. I do the modern language. I do English. You do it in Japanese when your guy wakes up, the two girls that are there like.
Speaker: No, it's not like a question. It's like, oh, it's like, yeah. I don't know. It was just the me when the game first came out. Yeah. And I'm probably going to buy a rise because you're the only person, guys, guys, Ed is the only person in our like D &D group who doesn't have rise.
Speaker: Damn, you're shaming him in our D &D group and now here. Wait, how am I shaming him in the D &D group? Because he doesn't have rights. This is the second time you made this comment. You said that once in a session. Fair enough. I forgot about that.
Speaker: Yeah, everyone, everyone on Twitter. Shame had to get him on a social media. He doesn't have tag him. Everyone tag him. Oh, I do have a Twitter account. You do have a Twitter post. No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to say what it is. I'm not even going to tell you guys what my Twitter account is. That's fair. You'll probably find it, though. I can find it. Who wants to start?
Speaker: Let's start with my very short review of this movie. Not review. Okay. Reshoot. Lottie. This movie. What do I even start with what I liked? I mean, the Diallos and the Rothalos look cool. That's about it. Okay. And Tony Shaw. Yeah. Very good. Also. Yeah, no, he did really great.
Speaker: I loved when he kicked up the bow and grabbed it near the beginning. Very cool. Other than that, Jesus Christ. Okay. Well, I went over my likes, not a lot. Yeah. And then my dislikes. Um, the lack of variety of monsters. Thank you.
Speaker: Like even in the normal Monster Hunter game, when you go onto a map, there's like seven different monsters or like something like that usually. I don't know. It's only three in Rise. I think because of the processing power. I think there's more in World. Rise is on PC now. It's built for this. Okay. Well, yeah. In Freedom, you had like four or five different types of monsters in a single map.
Speaker: Yeah, I just don't understand why they didn't put genprey in it. Little raptors. Yeah. It could have been velociprey in the jungle instead of the rathalos, like doing stuff. Or chagrass. Well, the chagrass are the little one, but you could do the big fire bird from Ryze, the ark. This is before Ryze, though. I feel like we have to take time to
Speaker: I'm talking about the, do they have prey in rise? Like unpray, velocipary? Yeah, like little ones. Yeah, you got some. Yeah. Okay. I was thinking that like just a couple of those in the jungle at least. Yeah. For, you know, for
Speaker: But yeah, lack of monsters. I mean, I'm kind of okay with that we got the diablos, because diablos is always super cool. Rathalos is like the staple, so that's fine. I've never seen the insects before. They're from a monster on a four, I think, or something like that. They're originally from them. No, the insects.
Speaker: The spider guys. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're from like boss or under four or something, which I've never seen before. I thought they were just made up, but I guess a real, and then the last elder dragon, like, I've never seen it either, but like, why wasn't the elder dragon the boss? Cause we need sequel bait. I know, but you fight a like variant of the Delos that is stronger and then just a normal Rathalos.
Speaker: You know what's actually something kind of stupid you just maybe realized? If you made the Elder Dragoness the last thing in the movie, that means you have to start off with finding the Elder Dragon, right? Where the fuck do you go from there in the rest of the film? Fatilists, just more Elder Dragons. Yeah, but they can't go straight from Elder Dragon to Fatilists. I don't know, I'm saying, I mean, that'd probably be the best one at the end, but like...
Speaker: I don't know, they didn't plan this out at all, obviously, but that's like the biggest show. I know. They even went down in difficulty using the games as like a thing. Yeah. Black Doubles is harder than the regular Rathloos. No, yeah. And it got the slow -mo in the fights. The slow -mo in everything. The cuts. The cuts was gross.
Speaker: I was more bothered by the slo -mo. I think I've watched too many bad action movies where the... Don't watch Zack Snyder's Justice League. Oh, I wasn't planning on it. It's good, but there's so much slo -mo. If you hate slo -mo. So much slo -mo. Anyways, yeah, that terrible slo -mo. And not a lot is just like notable. It's such a boring ass movie. And I think you could do to make it more exciting, other than adding those monsters you mentioned.
Speaker: more exciting. Oh, here's the thing. Here's the thing that would make it more exciting. Make the monsters the size that they are in the games. They're so much bigger. So fighting them with melee weapons makes no sense. But in the game, they're like, like, they're like, what, seven feet tall, maybe? Depends on the monster. I know, but like the ratholos is small compared to the human.
Speaker: They're like, you can barely walk under its legs. I don't think you even can, but like this Rathalos is like 60 feet long. Well, the Rathalos in game is like 20, maybe 30. The insect glade can kill the Rathalos in this world. Yeah, I know. Like size down the monsters a little bit at least.
Speaker: Yeah. Okay. That's a good thing. I forgot to catch. That's a good one. Yeah. And the Delos too. I mean, the Delos is big in the game, but in this one is fucking mass. It's Godzilla levels of big, not quite, but it's close to white. It's close to Godzilla. Not the newest Godzilla.
Speaker: Well, I meant a gods at fine. A gods. Yeah. Like the older gods was where they're like only like 20 feet, 20 stories. So tall. The fucking the, I like the whole suit Godzilla. Can you imagine mother hunter with like them wearing suits instead of being CGI?
Speaker: I'd watch that. Actually, another like I did. Another like, actually, that I actually did like was the whole monsters roaring when they see a human. Yes. I wish I would have kept how the Delos roars with the arc. Oh, yeah. The Delos rose with an arc on his head. And you know what would have been cool? If they cut off the tails. Right. The games. But you know why they couldn't? Because they're too big. Yeah.
Speaker: Also, it takes a stupid amount of time in the games. Could you imagine? You take the entire movie to hack off the fucking Diablos. It took one, like, swipe to kill the Diablos, basically. Yeah. My favorite thing is, it's like, oh man, that fight, the human fight took longer than the Rathalos fight. Oh my, it did. It did, yeah. Okay, the Rathalos fire breathing was actually pretty cool, though.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. When he got to the human world, just the fireballs. Well, and you can see it's the, it's the gas in the throat, the gas fills up the mouth. And we saw, yeah, we saw rain of fire, right? I made that joke. I'm like, I told Ruthie, this is how rain of fire started. Oh, you're watching this. I was like, yeah, it really seems like they got that from rain of fire. It really does. Oh, WS Anderson. Fucking heck.
Speaker: I don't care, I'm saying it. He's a terrible, I mean, he's made bad movies. He's also killed, his movies have also killed people or injured them severely. You can't remember which one it was. No, it was killed. It was killed with a baby. I don't know how I found out how it happened, but you don't want to look it up. Don't look it up. Don't look it up. Is there anything, anything else? What to fix?
Speaker: Oh, I was already going with that. Size down the monsters. Monster variety. Kill the... Don't take up half of this two hour too long movie on the Diablos. Use like 45 minutes for the Diablos. Use the other 45 for the Rathalos. And then yeah, Elder Dragon fight at the end. Use that as the big thing. And don't say the Rathalos is almost impossible to kill. See, the Elder Dragon is almost impossible to kill.
Speaker: It's the Elder Dragon. Oh, Lord. Yeah, being a fan of the game and watching this movie is just dog shit. It's a pain. Yeah. It should have been the fatless at the tower, in my opinion. 100%. Oh, cool. Because the fatless looks like the traditional dragon. It does. It's a traditional looking dragon.
Speaker: This is the last one that showed up. This just looks weird. I was reading about that, trying to do some research for this reshoot. And what was it that I was told? And supposedly, in the corner of legend, it destroyed an entire kingdom in a night unscathed. The phatolus?
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. And whenever you fight it, it's always in like a dungeon or like a tower thing as a reminder. It's always in the ruined castle tower thing. It's its own special map. I still have yet to fight it. I don't think it's very possible alone. Solo. I don't think so either. Anyways. Yeah. I just wanted to see the fabulous. He looks so cool. He has like a beard and shit.
Speaker: it's awesome it's cool i've seen the design all right uh you good uh yeah i mean i like oh yeah and then with the fatless if it was in the movie you could see the insect leave i know don't don't make it hurt head they're there
Speaker: Yeah, but that's what I would mostly do for the, like, structuring for the movie. Yeah, like, you could fit that with cutting out the fighting between Mila Djokovic and Tony Shaw, if they just got along right away. Just use those kicks that he did on other monsters, like the little prey monsters, you know? Oh, yeah. You can melee the genpre.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if it would be clear to use the velocipory or the gameplay because the velocipory are very brightly colored, but the gameplay make more sense in the desert. I'm going to say gameplay, but you know what, really, you have a choice. I'll be honest, I've only ever played rice, so I don't know. Most of the monsters that you guys have been talking about, like. Wait, there is velocipory and rice. Is there a Zuchi specifically? They're like a specific kind of velociraptor.
Speaker: Okay. That turns me off more from Ryze. They're like velociraptors, but birds. They're like orange birds. They're kind of cute. They're cute. They're also black ones depending on where you're at. Oh, I haven't seen those. I think so. I don't know if you can hear them. That turns me off a little bit from Ryze. Oh. Ruthie? Do you have anything else? Yeah. Another thing that turned me off from Ryze was the absence of the Yonkootku.
Speaker: They got the Kula yukta, the bird. I don't care. I don't care. They got the tie grips. And the one that you're fighting. I fought the one that you fought, so they want to fight. Oh, the Nagakuga? Yes. It's cool. It gives you catgirl armor. If you play as a girl, you get catgirl armor.
Speaker: You get edgy catgirl armor. It's cool. I guess I'm making a girl character. I'm making a girl. I made a girl character. It's pretty fun. Yeah. Have you guys ever made the Rathalos armor? I'm making. Fucking good. At least in freedom. It looks so fucking cool. Anyways, that is my fix. Add more small monsters. You have the Cephalos, but fuck that shit. You don't even see it. Also, another thing, the cooking spit.
Speaker: There. That was fun. Yeah. I'm done. Terrible movie. It really was. It was. I added in two likes while the two of you guys were going over the summary and kind of just chit chatting. So, because I completely forgot about the ship.
Speaker: of the desert ship. I gotta say, I am a sucker for ships where there are not supposed to be ships. So that was like, it's my aesthetic. Mia, what's her face? I don't know, I liked her. I like the cut of her jib. She does action hero really well. Yeah. Yeah. And Tony jaw is always really fun as well. We saw him in Jujitsu. He doesn't do a bad job in any movie, I think. No, he's the best part in both movies.
Speaker: Nicholas Cage? Oh, he was in Jiu -Jitsu, that's right. Yeah, he was really good Jiu -Jitsu. I forgot about that loop. Ed hates Jiu -Jitsu, so he forgot all about Jiu -Jitsu as soon as he could. Oh god. The monster designs, but mostly the CG, it was crazy good. I know we're like, we're shitting on the fact that there wasn't like a lot of monsters, but
Speaker: The monsters that they did were very detailed. Of course, there's a lot of scenes where they're in the dark, but it wasn't because like, oh, shit, our CGI looks bad. It's because the Nersiella, the spiders, they can't be in sunlight, so no light. But they were real spooky. Sonic was a fucking warning to them. We both bully you. Deservedly. Yeah, the rest of the cast was pretty good. It's really small.
Speaker: cast it's mostly just Mia and Tony but then there's Ron Perlman and everybody else fun fact uh there's this one guy in like the rest of the Monster Hunter crew who's got like a red faux hawk and I thought that was really weird because he's he's the one who looks the most different out of all of them like even Ron Perlman with his like
Speaker: fucking Ewok hair kind of fit in. Albino Ewok hair. Albino Ewok hair. Hector was showing me Netflix made an animated Monster Hunter movie. And the guy, Aiden, was the main character in that movie. And then he was also in, Aiden the character was in Monster Hunter movie, this one. You know what I'm talking about, right Ed?
Speaker: He's like a blink and you'll miss it kind of character. Yeah, he's there for like two scenes. He says no words. I think he burns to death. He burns to death. Yeah. Oh, OK. Yeah. Then I know who you're talking about. I think it's funny. It was that black and that other dude that burned to death. Yeah. No, that he wasn't the military guy. This was one of the. No, no, no. Yeah. Like one of the hunters in the tower. Yeah. Yeah. There was the black guy and the other guy who burned to death. It was the red. It was the redhead and black.
Speaker: The funny thing is, I think in the trailer for the movie, I haven't seen the anime movie yet, but this Aiden is a kid, voiced by Dante Bosco, who is Zuko, and he's just like, I want to find Elder Dragon because it's going to destroy nature. I want to save my village. And I'm just, and then here he is in this raffle, if this is the same character, here he is getting burned to death by Rathalos as an adult. It's not even an Elder Dragon.
Speaker: Yeah. Uh, that was it. That was my likes. Dislikes. Damn. Yeah. Hard for the course. I hated the body horror horror with despite spiders. It was a bit, it did feel like monster honor. Bloop. Uh, this is editor Hector letting you know that I said did not, but my mic was stupid and caught it as did back to the episode.
Speaker: loop like i get i know why they did it specifically i'm talking about the one guy link and he pulls up his shirt and he's got the the spider egg bubbles that are bursting and all the spiders come out i hated that like i know why the monster hunter world is scary and dangerous the games don't even show fuck around find out yeah the worst part is the games don't even show it like that badly often the older games did maybe was trying to do a bit more of the older games but the newer games are a lot more like
Speaker: They're a lot more lighthearted about it. It's just more fun than anything. I wasn't scared when I played Monster in the Freedom. I'm like, oh, this is so cool. Yeah. No, I was just grossed out and I didn't, I didn't enjoy that. So nope that right out. Just yoink.
Speaker: The infighting between Mia and Tony was so stupid. I hate it so much. That is like my number one least favorite trope, especially like in the Isakai kind of stories. You have to, you've got the two main characters of two separate medias. They come together and then they fight the entire thing until they find the greater evil. I hate that shit. That's broke. Come on.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, for those who don't know, because I'm sure we have some non -anime fans here, Isekai is like, it's a really newer genre that's polluting the anime, polluting anime right now, because everyone's fucking doing it. And there's like three good ones of literal hundreds. It's where a character or characters get taken from our world to another world. Or just two separate worlds in general.
Speaker: And then they have to learn to survive and they're usually OP. I'm not going to go, I'm going to stop for again. Well, but there's not anime examples as well. Cause like my first thought was because I I'm the younger one of the three of us, uh, generator, generator Rex and Ben 10 had a crossover. I missed that episode.
Speaker: i did not it sucked because they did that entire thing it was an hour long and they spent 40 minutes fighting and then the bad guy showed up and then they both be up together okay tell me who won ten rater rex or ben ten they it was a stalemate of course it was i can't they can't draw a fucking line because they're cowards then there was the jimmy timmy power hour before that oh those and uh for my uh for people who are older and don't recognize their references
Speaker: Let me see. Scooby -Doo did it well, so that one doesn't count. But the Flintones and the Jetsons special, where they combined the two. Hated that one. Yeah, because they did that shit. Obviously, they didn't like fist fight, but the two families kept arguing the entire time. Yeah. Are you talking about Scooby -Doo and Johnny Bravo?
Speaker: That's a good one, she said. No, Scooby -Doo, every time they have a match, they have like a Sakai kind of scenario. Like when they teamed up with Batman and Robin, that was good. Harlem Globetrotters, classic. That was all Johnny Robin, that was hilarious.
Speaker: The Johnny Bravo one was I think the Johnny Bravo one? Yeah, I saw that one. I don't think I've seen that one. It was written by the Johnny Bravo team and they make a lot of shows. Like when Fred says, Daffy and I will take the other room, you see him like, she's like, but Fred, and then he like bumps it over and gives a wink. Like they're not playing. Oh, nice. It's really funny. Oh my God.
Speaker: But yeah, no, fuck that trope of the two of them fighting all the time. But you didn't even say the best part about the Johnny Bravo crossover, where Velma loses her glasses, and Johnny Bravo loses his sunglasses. I can't see without my glasses. And Johnny Bravo was like, oh, no, I can't be seen without my glasses. He's covering his eyes. Amazing.
Speaker: But yeah, that trope sucks. Let it die. It's broke. Just let them be like, just let them be bros. Usually they pick good mashups where they'd end up like, jiving well together. I don't know, complain about the trope in general, not necessarily this movie, but I don't know. This movie was annoying. It was pointless because it did nothing. They had no argument. It was just shoved in there to pad it out and it felt super bloated because of it.
Speaker: Don't watch, so I told Ed not to watch the Snyder cut of Justice League because of the slow -mo. Don't watch the ween version of Justice League because they fight for like a good chunk of the movie. I know. I've only seen the Snyder version. And honestly, like, there's a lot of slow -mo, but it's good. It's good. The four hours actually helped. Yeah. All right. Is it just four hours of slow -mo?
Speaker: No, there's more to it. It's the entire movie. Is that why it's four hours? No, there's a bunch of added scenes with Cyborg and Flash, right? Those are the two that needed a little bit more love. And they get a lot more character development. So when they get to the final fight, they actually feel like all people instead of cardboard cutouts. I mean, to be fair, Cyborg was the main character of the movie, in my opinion. And I think Snyder's opinion, too. Yeah, Cyborg got a lot of love. Sorry, back to it.
Speaker: I didn't like the end fight. It felt weird. It cut off the first half and the second half at a weird spot to me. Oh, like the first time when she fell off the portal. Yeah. When she fell into the portal and then like we get to earth and then the rest of the fights at earth. I don't know. It didn't, it didn't jive with me. No, it didn't either. It kind of killed the momentum. It really did. You know, my whole, if anyone was in the Godzilla vs Kong episode, you know how I feel about fights. Got to keep that momentum going.
Speaker: And if anyone's heard him talk about Pacific Rim, it's the momentum, baby. Mortal Kombat? I'm not, I don't want to piss you off. Okay. Fix. When we were watching the movie, I had the idea to do an isekai version. So like following closer to the plot and doing a non -isekai version, but I ran out of time with my isekai version. So sorry, that's gone. It's lost to the ether.
Speaker: So the movie, in my mind, would play pretty much normally up until they get to the Monster Hunter world. I wouldn't have Bravo team, the people that they were going there to rescue. They didn't get killed by the Rathalos. No, we're going to save them for later. Don't worry. We're putting a pin in that.
Speaker: but they're like driving around, eventually they get to like the big ass skeleton, Tony Joss sees them, he launches the signal fire, but instead of doing it over them in a very threatening manner, it's just kind of like generally up in the air, maybe closer to him. Cause it's like, hey, please notice me. I don't, you know, I'm lost. It doesn't make sense where he's kind of, he was firing it a little aggressively, kind of preempted that conflict that I hate.
Speaker: What's funny is even she said it wasn't. Yeah, she noticed because it was just chalk, but it was even then, like, why are you firing it over them? The implication it gives is like, oh, you're now tracking them. I don't know. So they start to go towards him. That's when the Diablo fights like comes up and it like starts attacking or whatever.
Speaker: The fight plays out kind of normally, except like only one or two of the people die. You can have it be extra gory if you need to show exactly how deadly the fucking Rathalos is, but Diablos. Well, I'm not the only one. Here's my problem. I mix up Rathalos and Rathian in the games, and in this movie, I'm mixing up Rathios and Diablos. So they should have done Rathian. The poison one? Yeah, they sound way too similar. Yeah.
Speaker: Have they done Rathian this month? It would have been so much easier for me. Good girl. That's a good version. What? Rathian is the girl version. Oh! It's the female of the Rathalos. Oh! Poison. Interesting. Yeah. You didn't know that. I did not know that. No. Okay. I mix them up all the time. But that makes sense. They look the same. Yeah. Well, the Rathian...
Speaker: Uh, the rathian and rise, it isn't green. It's gray. I think they changed the design a bit because I think it's like a region. I want to say it's a regional thing, but I don't know. I don't know about my son. There's like, it's green. There's silver rathian. None. This game games that I played, they changed the stuff around those. I don't remember.
Speaker: Either way, let me see. Yeah, so two of them, they die horrifically. They end up in the caves. Diablo is still like fighting them, Tony finds them, he's like, come with me except he's speaking the alien language, just completely sidelined that fight.
Speaker: Just have like language barrier humor. I know this movie wasn't very humorous, but just like them all trying to communicate. I actually did like that part. Yeah. The chocolate thing. That was funny. The chocolate and also just the general like them learning. Yeah. It was nice. Hunter Ranger.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Basically the reason I want to do that, I want to have, instead of it just being the two of them being bad -ass, which, you know, cool, more power to them. Why not have a cool ensemble with a lot of different people being hunters? Cause like, I don't know, Monster Hunter, it's very multiplayer, at least Rises. Hector likes playing multiplayer. Also only have four hunters. Yeah. Like in the end.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Well, but like, I don't know, Tony jaw trying to teach them how to stop pointing their guns at everything and like actually hit things. I don't know. I feel like that would be fun. If you want to have the spiders again, you just, uh, have them go in looking for the poison shit and like, Oh, look, there's team Bravo. They got kidnapped by the spiders at night. And that's where you can have your egg thing. And it can be horrifying. I like to link.
Speaker: I liked Link too, but at the same time. Well, actually, I'm gonna take that back. I didn't like any human character. I didn't like any character from Earth. Artemis, I believe, was a badass. Like, I like her being badass. I just, she didn't have much of a, I don't know. She didn't, none of them had characters, and I feel like having
Speaker: more people, especially people that we could understand would build characters. Yeah. Yeah. Another reason I'd want to have the ensemble there. There's a scene where she's luring the spiders and she's like singing this army song that they were all singing at the very beginning of the movie, except it's really weird. And it felt like super out of place to me. It was supposed to be like, I get what it was going for. It was like a testament to her fallen comrades.
Speaker: but it would have been, I don't know, I like the idea of them all doing that and they're all playing this bait for Tony. Yeah, that'll be fun. I didn't like the way that that scene was with, cause she was singing and then there was music going on in the background. So it was overplaying her singing. And the music was like a scary music. Yeah, it was like this tense action building thing. And she's like, they say that in the army, the water, yeah. The coffee's mighty fine.
Speaker: Yeah, the coffee line, but yeah, I know. And then like action, incoming, suspense, ooh, thriller with that. And it's just, I didn't like it. It was tone conflicty. The funny thing about, uh,
Speaker: the humans, the earthlings, was that one of them speaks Spanish. This line was clearly written by a white guy because that was the most awkward usage of Cabrón I've ever seen in my life.
Speaker: It doesn't even remember it. It's blocked out. Yeah. No, there was like, I was like, come on Cabrón or something like that. And then Ruthie just looks at me and she's like, I'm so sorry. And that was the funniest shit in the entire world. That was the line in the movie. Yes, it was. At the very beginning, before they even get to the Monster Hunter world. God. Yeah. Yeah. Ruthie just looked at me and was like, I'm so sorry. It's like T minus what? 12 hours? And I forgot already. Yeah. You blocked it out. It was so painful.
Speaker: But yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it. All right. Well, let me see my legs first. That was good. Both of you. The weapons were actually really cool. That was like, I don't think any of you guys mentioned. The weapons looked actually like pretty accurate, except for the insect glaive not having an insect. It was just a glaive, but whatever. There was one lady who had like insect -themed armor. Yeah, she did.
Speaker: I thought the landscapes were kind of cool looking. I got tired of the desert, but I didn't hate it. You know, like the rest of the landscape looked like actual monster games. You know, like you got the desert area, you got the more gardeny area, and they got the rocks. I just wish they went with the more featured ones instead of just desert. Yeah.
Speaker: It's a little bit of a tangent, but I'm kind of tired of desert themed things. So we got, we got Dune, we got Boba, we got this, we got Mando, like all the sci -fi desert stuff, like give me, give me a different planet.
Speaker: And this is fantasy desert. It's fine. I know. I know. And I didn't started it, but come on, like a dude did not start it. Okay. What we're doing. Okay. Fantasy does do the book. Yeah. God damn it. Do and started the whole sci -fi desert planet. Shit. Okay. Sci -fi desert broke. What's woke. What's your biome of choice? Tropical Island. Tundra. Tundra would be fun.
Speaker: Give me a fucking, give me a subnautica subzero or whatever. Give me that kind of planet. Space polar bear, its mouth opens like this. And she's doing like a big like. Instead of like a normal mouth. It's like the side to side. Yeah, but it has mandibles. Yes. It's tough structures out and you hear like a scary roar. Thanks, I hate it. Okay, I can make it worse. Please don't. Okay.
Speaker: I like that we got to see them like making shit out of the monsters. Like they ripped stuff out. Like at Risenar was watching The Witcher right about now, like season two, we're catching up. And like sometimes you'll see him make, you'll see Geralt like make shit or grab shit from the monsters and try and make it into like potions and weapons. It's cool. Like it's the thing you do in the actual games. It was cool. I wish we could have seen more of that. That's another fix. Yeah, yeah. I thought when the Delvos broke his horn,
Speaker: I thought they were gonna make a weapon out of the horn. I thought so too. I was like, as long as she gets her dual blades, but nope. All right, my dislikes. Oh, also one more like, my biggest like of this whole thing, the Jack Palico. That fucking Palico was so like, I just love Palicos. Like I was glad to see one and doing the whole cooking. It was great. My dislikes. They did that shitty electronic like music. That's super generic.
Speaker: Like babies for sci -fi. I forgot to mention that. Too late. I mentioned it too bad. The music doesn't fit. Like, here's the thing. Do you know what it reminded me of that did it better? Castlevania. The show. They used electronic music. But every once in a while, they'd save it. They did that so that whenever it was a really grand moment, they'd use actual music from the games. And it adds so much more depth to the scenes and flavor. It was great.
Speaker: This movie has none of that. Like, for example, like why not when she kills or any of them kill a monster or maybe when they kill the raffles at the end, just do like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, you know, like the end. Yeah, I fucking love that. More of that. They need more monsters. There's a new one for Monster Hunter Iceborne, World Iceborne, called an Elatreon. And it's an Elder Dragon that can do all the elements.
Speaker: so you never know what you're gonna get in when you go in. So that's, it's always a, yeah, no, it's a crab shoot. Do that one at the end, that's sequel bait, that'd be fun. I gave an order for monsters for my fix. I know some, that's what I was saying. What? That's the one I was saying, that's the Firebird, I know some. I know some, yeah, that's the newer one though. I get it too, I get it too. I never played any of the other ones. No, I didn't, no, I looked it up. I looked it up, the monsters, and I thought it was an older one too. It's not an older one.
Speaker: Yeah, but like, meet me where I'm at. No, I get it. It's just, I'm trying to, if this was to be released in 2020, the same year it was, this is before Rise. But like, that could be one monster. That one, or? What? Why not the young cuckoo? Because we don't know that one. Both of us don't know that one. It's so cute. I love it. What I was thinking was, uh,
Speaker: What will have been hype, this was released I think before they announced Rise. Why not add a monster from Rise ahead of time in the movie? My pick, the Magnamala, which is the picture of Rise. And it's also my favorite monster. It's one of my favorites in the game. It's really cool. Angry Fire Kitty.
Speaker: Oh, I got that. Magnamalo. Which in Latin means biggest, but bad. Which one is it? Oh, that's cute. Yeah, that is cute. No, that's cute. OK, yeah, I said that one for number one. Mm hmm. Yeah, you can fight the young kooka through the diablos in the forest. And he's so small and cute. He's a bird. And then you slaughter him. Yeah. OK, another man dislikes and then you feel really bad.
Speaker: Another thing I disliked. Uh, I already mentioned the hand -to -hand thing that are using the fucking fire element weapons on a Rathalos. Like the glaive at the end has lightning. You have the money for elements. Use it. Yeah, this is Pokemon rules. Fire does not fight against fire. You use like a water or like ice. I mean, the first time I killed the Rathalos, I was using a fire weapon.
Speaker: Yeah, but that's because it's not - It took a long time, but you know. Okay, this movie just, contact, you took me out of it with that. Sorry. No, it's fine. All right. I did similar ones. I did similar ones. And I just beat Nel to Dragon with almost no health potions. Like you're fine. I nearly died. Yeah. Eventually I just started using a Limitless Bow. I just did so much damage, man.
Speaker: Anyways, sorry. This is the thing, this movie doesn't, I've seen other movies and I'm not sure, there's a few reasons they do this. And I don't know which one this movie is going for. We're Artemis to be as tough as she, you know, to make her as tough as the boys. She just says things or does things that are like super,
Speaker: I'm not trying to sound like a fucking incel here, so help me out here. No, she's super machismo. She's super machismo, thank you. It's just like, are you doing this so you can be seen as a competent main character, or are you just doing actual, it's just her whole character just to be lazy? Not like the other girls. Yeah. I don't know. The joke that I liked at the beginning of the movie was she was like, all right, ladies, let's peel out. And then one of the female characters looks over and she's like,
Speaker: Why does she make it sound like it's so bad? It was the guy, one of the guy characters. Yeah, it was the guy. It was a girl. But the guy's like, she's a woman, and she still makes that sound like an insult. I'm like, why does that even matter? It was so weird. Yeah, I know. Why does it matter that she's a woman? OK, here's my fix. And this is a completely, so for context,
Speaker: Ruthie was mentioning doing a mockumentary idea. Yeah I mentioned like the non the non -isakai version and like jokingly I said to Hector like make it a mockumentary. And then I had like a lot of ideas and I made sure she was cool. She doesn't know what I'm fully doing but I had some cool ideas with for this. Um actually do you want to give us like general idea you were playing for the isakai?
Speaker: for the non -Isekai version. The only thing is I'd have it in the style of another director. So Paul Watts's face would no longer be the director. In my mind, it'd have to be Wes Anderson because the style of mockumentary I'm going for is the life aquatic with Steve Zuzao, that movie. Where it's kind of just like a little ridiculous and leaning into the weirdness. A Monster Hunter movie with Wes Anderson is something I would pay a lot of money for.
Speaker: What? Why? I have no clue. That's just where my brain is going today. That's where my brain... Okay. My wife's a visionary, Ed. You won't get it, okay? Jesus. Okay. Well, tell me you wouldn't see a Wes Anderson directed... A Wes Anderson -styled monster hunter movie.
Speaker: The monsters wouldn't. I mean, okay, what centers are probably picked the silliest looking monsters to you have yours. You'd have the young kid. Yeah, because that thing is colorful. So colorful and silly looking and dumbass. I could see this. I could see him adding a few monster hunter things to like,
Speaker: for fun. I wouldn't be surprised if he actually hired like someone else to help for that part. Yeah. And then like everything else is just like, Oh no, I want this. Yeah. No, the aesthetic would be a brutal murdering of a monster. And then the camera pans slightly to the right. And there's like fucking, what's, what's his name of the actor? Uh, the guy you don't like. Bill Murray. Bill Murray's just standing there with a microphone, slightly horrified.
Speaker: Oh yeah, that just happened. And then you see the hunter pick up like intestines and start running away with it. And he's like, I don't know. I don't, I don't know. I really like, I'm not just saying it's supportive. I really want to see this now. I really want to see this now. We're never going to. Yeah. I'm sorry. No, don't be fine. I can't make our own monster hunter movie in style of Wes Anderson.
Speaker: All right, so here's my changes. So with that going, with you saying, I decided to take inspiration from the weirdest source, or from the weirdest documentary movie. I took examples from a little bit of Walter Mitty. But mainly, Walter Mitty, you'll see why. But the main one was Surf's Up.
Speaker: which has the most one or more unique documentary style movies I've ever seen. And have you seen it? Oh, my God. Oh, man. It made me think of the mockumentary of strange wilderness or whatever. I haven't seen that one before. Something like that. Oh, man. We need to see surfs up. It's really funny. So it has some like really good jokes. You don't do that. That's not the one that's going to convince them. Maybe I've seen.
Speaker: It's the penguins with the chicken. It's like, oh, he's poisoned after pee. I don't remember it a lot, but yeah, I've seen it. It's really funny. My dad left at a young age, cut to picture of KFC bucket. Also, Sony Pictures, who I hope wins the Oscar this year for
Speaker: Best animated film. They just came out today. We're going to date ourselves, but I hope mix over some machines wins the Oscars. I'm going to be pissed if it doesn't. All right. You won't. You won't. But still, I'll be pissed. Anyway, before we get changes. So Artemis is a human who makes nature documentaries. Like she's an award -winning nature documentaries. She's bored. It's the same animal. She wants something fresh. So maybe she's near this what?
Speaker: It's just laughing. Okay. So she's like, okay, I'm gonna make like, oh, she goes like this wishing waterfall or whatever. I know, I know, I know. This is the best thing I could think of.
Speaker: You'll see why. So it's like a legend. She's like, Oh, I'll play along, whatever. So she makes a wish and she has her friend, you know, her crew friends there and they jokingly push her into the waterfall. And if anyone's seen back rooms, you know, there's like a, it's like this whole urban thing where you can just clip through the walls or the earth itself. They go to like a parallel dimension. She just no clips through the waterfall. And it was like, what's up?
Speaker: What? And then she just starts falling. And she falls into a jungle because my first experience in Monster Hunter was world and I like the aesthetic. She's almost about to be killed by an Aknossum, the Firebird, or the other one, the... I wrote down. The Kulu -yaku. Yeah, Kulu -yaku. I'm saying it wrong. And then she's saved by Tony Shaw. So then there's a few minutes of him
Speaker: helping her survive while they make their way back to camp. You know, maybe it takes a day or two, which is just a little silly thing. And she's a camera with her, right? Yes. Oh, no, no. The camera is magic. I forgot to mention it, but the camera's like magic in a sense. Because if we're going Felizakai, we're going Felizakai. There is a stupid anime I've never seen called like, it's like a guy who gets hit by a truck, gets transported to a new magical anime world. But he has a smartphone, so he can get all the answers for everything.
Speaker: and the smartphone never runs. Huh? It has a signal. It's a stupid anime, Ed. It's a stupid anime. I think that's it. Again, I'm not joking. There's literally hundreds released in like the last three years. Yeah, I know. There's been a crazy boom. The season especially has had a lot of... And everyone needs a gimmick.
Speaker: Some are better than others. So I'm playing off of that. So I like the scenes of him helping her and then trying to get through the language barrier. It's fun. So a few minutes of that. So she meets the villagers, you know, to get to the village, she meets the villagers, and then she meets the cast while getting introduced and learning about their lives. There's Ron Perlman as a village leader who befriended an earthling who came here when he was a kid. And so he's learned how to speak English. So the exact same thing for the movie.
Speaker: Make it more clearly shown that he uses a switch axe because Ruthie loves switch axes. And I didn't even know the switch axe was still near the end because it never went to the axe form. Or it never went to the sword form, but it was always in that kind of axe. Yeah, it was an axe form, yeah. So it's a switch axe. Tony Jha is the main instructor for the kids who want to be hunters. And he's the only person in the village so far who is still in the village who was ordained by the Hunters Guild.
Speaker: right, somewhere far away. And I made him the teacher because in the actual movie, he uses pretty much every damn, he pretty much uses almost all the weapons. He knows how to use the twin blades, he knows how to use the bow, he knows how to use the great sword, the glaive. The glaive is implied to be his main weapon, but he lost it when he fell off the ship. Yeah. But he made all the other ones. Yeah, no, he's cool. I love Tony job.
Speaker: So here's the thing, you guys are giving me looks, don't, okay? Here's the first characters. We have a boy named Rogar, who is a character from my D &D campaign MDMA. Who you just killed. Who I just killed off yesterday. He's a boy who wants to be a hunter like his big brother, who's in another continent to hunt monsters and give the money to bring the money back to the villagers to keep them going, right? Money and resources.
Speaker: His brother was a longsword mane. So Rogar's gonna start off as a longsword mane. I'm just saying mane to keep it simpler. There's a girl named Varia who is a hunter who wants to just explore the land she started being at home. She's, Rogar's kind of like rival, but it's more friendly, you know? Again, trying to keep the tone. There is a bully who is a bow mane. I'm sorry, Ed, I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't know you were a bow mane until today because the bully's name is Lorne.
Speaker: I couldn't think of Ed's old D &D character. I couldn't think of - You didn't use the name of my outfit? Huh? You didn't use the name of my outfit? I forgot what it was and I forgot to ask you. I didn't want to ask you again. I was too embarrassed. So I picked Lauren. Okay. So Artemis is like, oh, this is a cool opportunity. And she decides to videotape and chronicle Rogar and Varia. Right? So Rogar is often reading about the monsters, which
Speaker: varia will just like kind of listen to him reading so they both kind of learn he does like all the brain he's more brainy the vibe i'm getting is like sakura and sasuke if sakura didn't have a huge crush on sasuke like rogar sounds like sakura and then sasuke varia varia sort of i mean she's a hammer mane i forgot to mention that okay no that's just like the vibe i'm getting on fair enough
Speaker: So Rogar was more based off Deku from My Hero because I like the whole, I like it when characters aren't as strong so they have to be smarter about how they fight, which is just, I don't know. I dig that. I kind of leaned into my weave here, but you can't blame me. It's a fucking Capcom game.
Speaker: Artemis and Rogar are more studious people because you know she just observes and learns from that. Artemis and Rogar, you know, they start to form a bond. They teach each other bits of their languages over months. Yes, Ruthie?
Speaker: So you know how in documentaries, sometimes they'll pull characters aside and just like ask, or like pull people aside and ask them, can you have it one or two scenes like that? But it's still in the alien language. And she's like, I have no idea what you're saying. Yeah. And there'll be subtitles too, by the end, because she learns enough. Yeah. But yeah, there'll be subtitles. I like the whole, no, I like that. I want a whole movie with like, I want more movies with have like subtitled the entire time because the language is being real or fake.
Speaker: So the first big test for the kids, for Lauren, Rogar, and Veria is, I wrote this in a bad order, it's a Aknesom or a Kulu -Yaku. Just something simple, right? So it's their first real test. There's two tests. This is their first one. This is more to see what they need to learn.
Speaker: So Lauren's the only one to take one of the monsters solo. Oh, no, nevermind. I changed it to a big Jagras because it's slower and it's easier for someone who's more of a bow user, if I'm correct, like Jagras is slower. It's because it's like the first one you fight in the world. But Jagras. Oh, a big Jagras. It's like a really fat one that eats. It's introduced into a cutscene where it eats another monster because it's introducing the whole monsters fighting and eating other monsters. Okay. And this movie was based off world. Like you could see the handler from world in the game.
Speaker: the movie I mean yeah so Rogar Vario worked together on the other one I'll say it's the bird the kuluyaku Rogar is weaker and it's kind of obvious the longsword isn't working for him you know I'm gonna change from a longsword to a great sword he can't use the great sword so he's doing a good job dipping and diving and
Speaker: Vahri, he's like not getting hit, he just can't land a hit, but Vahri is having a few close calls, like she's almost getting hit. Just, I don't know. So after the whole thing, Rogar gets angry, runs off in the forest. Artemis and Tony find him with a bunch of insects and Tony's like, oh, I love these insects, but he doesn't use, he just like, I'll give you my favorite, I'll teach him about my favorite weapon, the glaive. So Tony's teaching Rogar how to use the glaive.
Speaker: Artemis is studying the insects just because they're really pretty. And then she learns that they can give you a boost. And then bam, Rogar combined the both of those ideas. And he said, insect leave, because fuck you, movie. So I guess Artemis and the village leaders start to work together. They learn like, oh, hey, there's a lot of similarities between your world's monsters and my world's animals.
Speaker: So we can probably find some weaknesses, even with new monsters we haven't seen. Right. And they work together so that way Arness has something she's more of like the handler. The second test is the final test before they can travel to the guild. Because once they go to the guild that's like they're big, getting to the guild is the test.
Speaker: And then, so once they get there and they take one more test, you know, it's like, you're a hunter. So here's the real test. You know, they're fighting, they're fighting a Zion Ogre and a Magnamalo. And you're thinking, Hector, you've been saying like the book, you know, the movie should only have world stuff. Well, it was close enough where they can be like, hey, do you want us to put a monster from like your next game on here early, just to kind of tease the fans? Yeah, advertising. And they'll be confused because you haven't announced your new game yet.
Speaker: Sure. And then it's a Magna Malo cause that's my fucking favorite fight, one of my favorite fights. So kids are doing well. Rogar and Varia are making a great team. Lorne's not supposed to go on his own, but he is anyway, fighting a Zynogre. I don't know, something Magna Malo. So, you know, Magna Malo's attacking and he's gaining speed on Lorne and Lorne's just not doing hot.
Speaker: Varia just looks at Rogar and gives him a nod like, don't help him. Rogar starts climbing up a steep cliff while you see Varia in the background just chugging a red potion because that's a demon drug. Don't mention what it is just, you know, for the fans. And then Magna Mal is about to grab Lorne and throw him up in the air when, actually he grabs him, throws him up in the air. He's about to like chomp on him when you see Rogar do the vault into the air so it's a fucking sick as shit as an insect leave and just,
Speaker: Does like the dive and just kind of wham, knocks them all down. And then Lauren lands because there's no fall damage at Monster Hunter. There's no fall damage in Rise. There's no fall damage in Monster Hunter. I remember there being there in Freedom. Maybe in the earlier game. Perhaps not. Perhaps I'm misremembering. I don't know. You can get damage from like the monsters hitting you on your way down, but you don't. Yeah. There's no fall damage.
Speaker: Maybe, you know, maybe a misremembering. I don't know. Oh, as he does the dive attack he knocks a horn off the Magnamalo, just to, you know, give it a little. So he kept the Varya who is in a flashback she's observing, she was observing Rogar and how to dodge and they, she starts, they start working together on her dodging.
Speaker: And she, you know, they're just being friends and helping each other, right? It's like the anime flashback power -up scene, right? So then she mimics some of the dodges and they show her like, if you can, like maybe a ghostly image of like Rogar showing some of the dodges and she's doing the same ways of like dodging. And that way it's like mimicking and it's like, I don't know, it's like a dance kind of thing. Yeah. Cause like a dance, right? In the games. And then she grabs her hammer and starts saying the sign over while dodging. Lauren and Rogar attacking together.
Speaker: At one point, Rogar's going off into the ground, knocking off. It's like hitting off lakes to annoy it. And then Lauren's using the bow to hit it in spots to knock it off kilter. Finally, Lauren gets an arrow to stick in the eye of the Zynogre. I know Ruthie hated that in the actual movie, but when it bubbled at that exact same moment, the screen's going to split. And we're like, it's like two things happening at the same time. And then you see both,
Speaker: like Varya and Rogar bouncing off the wall, both of them hit the respective monster. You hear a crunch as Varya hits the skull of the Zainogren, goes down. And at the same time, you see him doing some trolls with the stick to confuse it, like where it's gonna hit. Then it bam, goes right for the eye with the arrow sticking out and it goes deeper inside. And then they both fall down.
Speaker: you know, you hear dun dun dun, you know, the victory theme, and then they're all full of adrenaline and they all just start carving instantly. There's a party that night as the leader congratulates the three kids and you know, Tony gives them the proof, like he gives them the papers that they need to prove like, hey, I'm an actual instructor, they're ready for the test.
Speaker: and they're gonna be leaving in a week to get their Hunter licenses. Because I think you had to go to the guild to get officially tested. They mentioned at the beginning of Rise, if I remember correctly. Artemis has been videotaping most of this. I assume there'll be moments where you can't. Yeah, multiple people. Yeah, so you just kind of, for some parts it won't be full documentary. Here's the found footage moment though. It's a few days later, the kids haven't left yet. There's a big roar.
Speaker: over the town. You know, you hear the camera, you see like the shadows, it's night. You see smoke and fire and out rises Rathalos, like from a fucking horror found footage movie. Like think, what's that Cloverfield? Think Cloverfield, you know? Oh, that's the motion sickness people got. So the whole town is working together.
Speaker: Artemis is helping point out weak points, the whole, you know, the three of them, the, you know, Tony Jaw, the three kids, and even the village leader are working together to fight this. They use the right elements that aren't fire. They kill Rathalos. I didn't know how to describe this with this many people. I'm already taking up enough time. So Artemis is like, wow, I have a lot of footage. I wish I could go home, starting to miss my family. She goes back to sleep after this.
Speaker: Wakes up, she's back at her home. I know Ed's like, this is so generic as shit. Fucking sue me, it's hard when monster hunter games don't have a story, it's hard. I thought she was just gonna wake up in the waterfall and her friends are gonna be like, what the hell? We thought you were dead. That would be funnier actually, I will probably keep that in. Maybe she's covered in like burn marks or something somehow. Right, uh, Rathalos guts.
Speaker: Maybe they think, I don't know, they think she's dead. I don't know, that'd be a little dark, but whatever. She can't raffle his guts, death's better. She wakes up, she has her magical camera, and she's like, guys, look at this. And then they're like, what the fuck? And you know, she's back, she has a princess. What does it, is the film actually there? Yes, it's all there. Maybe she even has like a dual blade or one of the twin blades on her. You know, like she had to fight a little bit to survive. She learned a little.
Speaker: But she's mostly holding cameras, so she's using one to fight off. She was using the gun lamps to get the good shots. Yeah. It cuts to her being back home. She has two pictures on a frame that she's taught from us still. It was one of the whole village and one of the kids.
Speaker: And then you can, and maybe when she's working on this in the background, like on the editing, you can see like you cut back to like the twin daggers on X in the background. That's the focus of the shot as she's in the background blurry. You know, it's real. It actually happened. And then Rogar and Faria are sad to see that she's gone. Maybe they think she's dead. Maybe they don't know, but they're like, you know, we're going to become hunters. We'll make her proud. And then as they leave that knowing that the journeys have the test,
Speaker: the fire in their hearts will turn through all the obstacles. The screen starts to fade to black, and then you can hear an elder dragon roar in the distance. And that's the end. It's a nice way of sequel baiting without fucking blueballing us for another movie that no one wants. That sounds fun. I gotta say, I still like my mockumentary. Your mockumentary is a lot of fun.
Speaker: Yeah. I just thought I'd make it a coming of age story. Like, uh, I got, I dig it. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Sounds like actual monster hunter. That was the, that was the plot. That was what I was going for. Thank you. I think today you win the podcast. Thank you. Am I your POG champ? Yes. Yeah. You're my pod champ. Yeah. POG champ. No, no, no. Not not POG. POG. POG champ. You win the next quad race, buddy.
Speaker: for this movie. I'm not gonna lie. I almost forgot. I had this. I had so many ideas for my movie. I almost forgot this movie existed. D for Diablos. D for Diablos. D for Diablos. It's not terrible. It is bad. D plus for Diablos plus, you know? No, Diablos. If they had the fatless, they could do F for fatless.
Speaker: We'd give it a C just for the fact that the fatless is there though, probably. You'd get a C for fatless. All right, so anything you guys have been watching? Or reading or whatever? Or playing? Or playing. Well, there's this one game called Dungeon of the Endless.
Speaker: It's a roguelike. Roguelike with a little bit of tower defense. Super cool. If you want another roguelike, there's two games that I've been playing semi -obsessively for the last few months. Sunless Sea and Sunken Sky. Sunless Sea and Sunless Sky. I mix them up. I think I've heard of one of those, I think.
Speaker: Yeah, because I talk about them all the time. So one, you're playing a ship underground in a London that was stolen by bats in the 1800s. In the sequel, you're playing in the same London, except it got shot up into space. Also, the sun exploded, and you're driving a train. It's a space train. Nice. Yes, it's very fun. If we're going with video games, I can play more Monster Hunter Rise.
Speaker: He's been so obsessed with Monster Hunter Rise. I don't know if I'm the switcher of the PC now. I say the swish. That way we could all play together. Yeah. Well, three out of four of us could play together. Yeah, because Ruth and I own one. Oh, yeah. So.
Speaker: The reason I would use the auto center camera on the PSV is because it didn't have a second joystick to control the camera. Yeah, no, that's as big as law. So I would I would claw grip because it was like the little joystick and then the D -pad would control the camera. So it was just bad. Yeah. Yeah, that's bad design. I mean, it's bad design. Yeah. But like if that is on the PSP. Yeah. I mean, claw gripping is very normal in controller games.
Speaker: Sorry if you guys hear screaming right now. There's our neighbors. Our neighbors have a baby. Yeah. This Ed is our baby. I've also been playing Death Stranding again. I like my mailman game. Still haven't played it. Tomorrow. Well, the next time you house it for us, you can play mailman games.
Speaker: No, thank you. No man simulator. Next, tomorrow is the Nintendo Direct. I am not, I am hoping for Silksong. I know it's not gonna happen. I have my clown makeup on. And before they mention another fighter's pass. I have been reading a book though, the fifth season. Yes. I'm reading it for a book club and Ruthie is too. Yes.
Speaker: Yes. N .K. Jemisin wrote a very fun novel. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like we should give her a little bit of love. Yeah, we should. Yeah. Next time we're watching Ruthie's pick. Next time on Reshoot and Amateurs Z. Yeah, Fifth Element. The first half is really good. I don't like the second half. I've seen it before.
Speaker: You have or have not? I saw the fight scene at a... Wait, which fight scene? The one with her and fighting like 12 people. I think that's the second half. I saw it because it was like a demo for like my parents used to go to these like fancy house demos where you can like see fancy houses and they had that one playing and I'd get bored of houses because I was like eight. So I just will go and see the cool fight scene a lot. Join us next time. Goodbye, everyone. Goodbye.
Speaker: You can follow us on our Twitter, which I'll link in the description, or our Instagram, which I'll link in the description. Goodbye, everyone. Leave. Today's film was Monster Hunter, directed by Paul W .S. Anderson. This screenplay is written by Paul W .S. Anderson and Konami Fujioka. This invitographer was Glenn MacPherson. Have a good day, everybody.
