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Ep. 55 Invisibandits
103 Plays2 years ago
Our Swords go Shopping.. or.. Stealing? You decide!
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Transcript
Warrior's Thoughts on Death
00:00:13
Speaker
previously on the hired swords. I've thought often of death. As a warrior on the fields of battle, it's a reality that you begin to expect as opposed to avoid. I can't say I've ever feared dying, but more what comes after. As I felt my breath being pulled from my lips, unable to take another, I felt that fear again.
00:00:41
Speaker
the darkest night where even the stars fear to shine. Until lightning and thunder called my name. I guess we're not done quite yet.
'The Hired Swords' Episode Introduction
00:01:20
Speaker
You're listening to the Hired Swords. This episode has been sponsored by Joxer Squeaky Chair. Where there's a squeal, there's a way.
00:01:41
Speaker
We got to record first. Audacity first.
Funny Driving Stories
00:01:55
Speaker
We were driving one time somewhere and you had a Dr. Pepper and a cup holder in my van and we did something and it like jumped out and you're like, why do you have a cup holder if it doesn't hold cops? That's so funny. That's great. Is that the day I got the speeding ticket?
00:02:17
Speaker
I think so. Am I only ever speeding? Yeah. Do you remember driving and you were like chilling in a red light and then it turned green and I immediately just shouted, like as soon as it changed. It's so funny. Oh man. Good times. All right.
Introducing the Players and Technical Hiccups
00:02:47
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the Hyatt Swords. I am your dungeon master, Mike, and with me is Blaze as Krugs. What's up? Ash is here. She's going to Lynn. Okay, so I want to put on the record that we did an intro and then something messed up with Lynn Castor. This is what Blaze did last time. It got you just as good. You got me again. Hello.
00:03:17
Speaker
And Joxer's here, he's Mikey. The Joxinator, welcome to the Joxer Show. Oh yeah. Derek's here playing Daven. I was gonna say, oh yeah, but then you took it, so now I feel like I don't have anything. Say something else, say something else then. Potatoes are the best vegetable. I agree. A hot take, a hot take and a hot potato. It's a hot potato take. It's a hot tater take.
00:03:44
Speaker
A hot tater. A hot tater cake. A hot tater cake. I mean boil the mash and stick them in a stew, right? That's right. That's right. Let's just talk about potatoes instead of doing D&D tonight. Just kidding. Welcome to the hired taters. Hired smuds. Snappin' to a tater. Oh, yeah. For others. We're just going off the rails now.
Post-Encounter Feast with Goblins
00:04:11
Speaker
When we last left off,
00:04:13
Speaker
We were not talking about potatoes. In fact, there weren't any. There was only meats to Gwendolyn's despair, I guess. But the group had had a difficult encounter with the shadow-teld who had about killed two of them if it weren't for the intervening of their friends, including one who has passed on into being a guardian of the wilds. If it wasn't for their help, this group may have been in a lot worse off. But instead, here we are.
00:04:42
Speaker
At the end of a day of feasting and enjoying the company of some goblin friends, most of whom have kind of lost their will to hang out. As we sit now at the end of this party of eating this boar and chatting and hanging out and spending time together listening to music.
00:05:03
Speaker
As we in this that time these most of these goblins have now headed off to go home to end the day a little early as it is just dusk they will not be going into the night after two days in a row of dance parties and fun fun.
00:05:20
Speaker
Engagement with their visitors. So the rest of the group, the party here, as kind of the goblins have all kind of dispersed and headed towards their own cabins or their own huts.
Private Discussion on Findings and Daven
00:05:31
Speaker
What is it that you guys are all going to do in this dusk evening? That's a great question. Not all at once. What is it that you're going to do? Snap it to a potato or?
00:05:46
Speaker
Well, guys, I think it's, we got some stuff to talk about, some things that I'd found that maybe would be of interest to us as a group, but I think we should go somewhere a little bit more private. Yeah, definitely. I totally forgot again that you had a- I literally just said it like five minutes ago. You're acting like it was a week ago. I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind, David. This has been a couple of things. Let's go to the rooms that we have. All right.
00:06:15
Speaker
As we're walking, I'll ask Krigs and Joxer, are you guys doing okay? And just crunch. She starts eating the bite of a carrot. Crunch. And she's just looking. Oh, I'm definitely better. Thank you. Thank you all so much. Good. I don't know about this man over here. I feel like I was hit by a runaway wagon. But yes.
00:06:44
Speaker
I'm breathing. For now. I didn't see a wagon last night, though. So... Well, maybe it's just a dwarven figure of speech. Maybe the elves don't know about land vehicles. I, you know... Was it running away when it hit you, or after it hit you?
00:07:02
Speaker
Look, I am sore and achy and old. Gwynnora leans into Draxer. Seems a bit like a cranky pants to me. Cranky pants and struts off. Rickin frickin. He's definitely at least as close as the crankiest I've seen Dale at this point.
00:07:29
Speaker
Uh, I can see that and she's just starts to work. I mean, I took a couple of letters to the gut tool, but I'm fine. Thanks for worrying about me. I'm sorry, Devin. I just, I know you can hold your own. Definitely. It's a brute in this group. Devin looks at his muscles and you, that kind of flexes a little bit and he pulls something in his bicep.
00:07:54
Speaker
Do you need me to cure it? I think it's all right. It's just a little sore from how I lived in Craig's last night. Okay. Lifting me. Crunch. I had to carry you all the way to the room. I was beaten by myself. Yeah, all by himself. It was like the fish. Filling sheepish. Let's just get this conversation on the road. Can we...
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Darnaldi. Darnaldi. That should anger you guys enough. Let's figure out what's going on. Darnaldi. I'll lead him into my room and I'll go and grab all my
Mysterious Item Transfer Pouches
00:08:27
Speaker
stuff and collect it. And I'll set up my presentation. All right. So I want two years of rooming. It's got a lot of interesting things in there. A couple things that were hidden in the way. First of all, I found this. I pull out a sack of coins. I got a rough count. It looks like it's about 500 gold. It's not too bad, right? I don't know. First of all, before we go too far in this, how do you guys feel about stealing from Darnaldi?
00:08:49
Speaker
Um, is, is that, is that a thing you can do from, from, uh, from someone who stole so much from wild tail? I like your answer. That's all I take it. Gwen. I agree with Jock, sir. Really? All right. I'm a little surprised by that one actually. I just, he's an evil man and she starts to get into a rant. He, he needs, he needs to be stopped and I don't.
00:09:19
Speaker
Craig's put a single finger, just reaches up. I'm actually kind of dying still because when you said presentation, I'm just thinking of like a science project with like a laser pointer, just like a little beam of light coming out the fingertip or something. Just like, okay, what we have here is 500 gold pieces.
00:09:49
Speaker
All right, so I will set the pouch down and say, all right, we'll split that up. I think if I did my math right, I think that's two. I don't know math. Somebody else has to figure that out. Next thing on the agenda, I found these two as well. It's two small pouches. They were in a locked box, like a really secretly kept locked box. So they must be important, but I don't know what they do. There's nothing in them. Anyway, here, somebody take a look at these. I'll hand them off to Jackson.
00:10:15
Speaker
inspect it. Was this the magic box item or? It was there were two small pouches and as far as I knew, they were empty, right? Yep, they were both empty. Okay. I'd like to check them both. Okay. Check out the pouches. What are you checking in for? I'm just kind of investigating them or are you checking for anything in particular? Um, if they have any magical value at this point. All right. Yeah. Uh, make a arcana check on them.
00:10:44
Speaker
Okay. No, not this die. We will use the Starbucks die. Okay. That's okay. That is 12. I like how by using Starbucks dice that we inadvertently give a lot of Starbucks advertisement. Hashtag not sponsored. She sent me this thing. I'm talking about the coffee place, man.
00:11:11
Speaker
Oh, Starbucks. That's a good point. No, I don't want that dirty, dirty bean money. Dirty bean money? That's my new favorite thing now. Dirty bean money. So that was a 15. A 15 on your arcana check. So as you're looking, you see that they are identical. Every stitch, every
00:11:42
Speaker
Little extra piece of fabric laid over every little section, every flap. It's all exactly identical, almost like they're the same bag twice. Devin, hand me one of those coins. All right. I take a coin out and I just toss it over toward him. And then I'll throw one of the bags to him. And then I will drop a coin in one bag. You drop the coin in the bag you have.
00:12:12
Speaker
When you look at it, it's no longer in there. Devin, look in your back. All right. I look in my bag. There's a single coin in your bag. Oh, would you look at that? It's a Diablo one all over again. Drop it, pick it up, drop it, pick it up. It didn't copy it. It sent it. I'm going to drop it back in my bag and watch as I drop it in there.
00:12:38
Speaker
Okay, you watch it and it falls in there when it hits like towards the bottom and the like this. It's like it.
00:12:43
Speaker
It's like no matter where you drop it or how hard, how much you try to look into it, it's like there's some sort of shadow in the bottom of the bag. Nah, like a scary evil shadow, just like it's the darkness of the bottom of the bag and the coin, once it settles into that, you reach down to try to find it and you can't find the coin anywhere and you do see it in your structure. I'll grab it and then I will try to see if I can put my hand through it.
00:13:09
Speaker
Are you sure that's a good idea? You put your hand into that bag, and as you do, you just feel around inside the bag. That seems to be an object-specific bag. Yeah, we're lucky that you didn't just lose a couple fingers. You could just have this arm flopping on the ground now. Oh, god! I'll tell you, I don't know what I was going to do if their fingers started coming out of this other bag. I probably would just drop it on the ground. I was going to grab at your necklaces. Don't you touch my necklaces.
00:13:39
Speaker
You tuck some away under your shirt, make sure that they're all covered up. Moving on, moving on. The next thing is, I didn't take it with me, but there's some fancy clothes, some really nice looking clothes that are also in that box. Now, I didn't take them because I didn't think that clothes were going to be important, but on the other hand, why would you put such fancy clothes in such a well-locked box? So if you want, I can go back and get it.
00:14:03
Speaker
Oh, I'm going to be stopping by there before we head out. I'm feeling a little unfashionable as of late. We'll see what's in this wardrobe box you've spoken of. No offense, but he is quite a bit taller than you, so I'm not sure.
00:14:18
Speaker
never mind, you don't actually care about, never. Anyway, it's moving on. The last thing, and maybe the most important is this, and he's going to pull out the piece of paper that he has.
Discovery of Mysterious Inscriptions
00:14:27
Speaker
And on it, it says, I think the rest of the group can see it, but for everybody else, I'll say it's like a torn piece of paper, and in the center of it, it's got a circle. And then in the center of the circle says Glader Grinch Glen Tree.
00:14:41
Speaker
And then to the left and right of it, the left says shadow wild. And the right says the wild above it says shouldn't exist dot dot dot question mark. And then below the whole thing, it says, where does it open? And then to the left on the bottom, it says cities with question mark. And then it's got four different cities. Glent, which is crossed out. Lavrith, which is crossed out. Moraphos. What is that one? It's Moraphos. You've heard of it. Okay. And then Wild Hill. All of them crossed out several Wild Hill has a question mark on it.
00:15:11
Speaker
And then on the right side, it says, where else? And then it has stone mountains, which has crossed out the Black River, which has crossed out Dragon Pit, which has crossed out and Almanora with a line underneath it and a question mark. So I show this to the group. All right. Are you guys seeing it? Yeah, I see it. Al, Almanora, is that Gwen? Is that Gwen rips the map from him? What?
00:15:41
Speaker
Why is this a city on here? I'm not really sure. Do you think he knows where it is? Do you think we can find it?
00:15:53
Speaker
It's when I think there's either to calm down and she's just, she starts biting your fingers. I think this is some sort of a gate or like a crossway between this world and maybe somewhere else. I mean, it says shadow wild. I don't know what that means, but it sounds like, I don't know, like a darker version of what we're used to. Maybe anyway, that means it's either somewhere near Almanora or it goes to Almanora. Have I ever heard of shadow wilds?
00:16:21
Speaker
You would not have heard of that. No. I definitely don't think I would either. Not that term. You can roll if you want to make a history check. I'll let you make a history check. You went to Druid school. You're not. But you just said I don't know. It's going to be really high. The DC. Can I as a dwarf? Hoping there's no apple on top. Roll. How's a 40? I'm joking. A 40. That's going to do it.
00:16:51
Speaker
I rolled a two. OK, that's my two history for a total. Well, it could be 40. If you look forward, that was the D.C. Are there are there rocks in the shadow wild to give me dwarven advantage on my history check? No, you wouldn't know because you don't have shadow like there's no rocks in the shadow. Apparently there's shadows of rocks and that's it on the shadows.
00:17:20
Speaker
Not being completely, like, I'm not concerned with the things Gwyn's talking about, but I'm gonna look at Daven and... Didn't Tal over mention her husband maybe at the dragon pit? She did, yes. And of course, Snow Mountains on here as well, which we have been acquainted with as part.
00:17:41
Speaker
I was under the impression the dragon pit might not actually exist. I mean, granted, she says it does and I have no reason not to believe her, but I've never heard it or seen it on any maps or any of my travels. Do you think maybe the Ghis or Vale might have information on the dragon pit? I might be worth talking to Ghis. He seemed to have pretty close dealings with Durnaldi, but
00:18:11
Speaker
I think we should bring up suddenly, then I don't think we should show him this since we technically stole it from Dronaldi. Yeah, he might have words about that. I just don't want him getting in trouble. I want him to be completely unaware of what we're doing with this. Did someone mention Vale?
00:18:31
Speaker
Yes, I was I was just maybe maybe a veil or a guest would have information on what's on this this map to an extent if we have specific questions, at least for anything that's crossed out. I suggest we ask Vale because he seems to have been here the longest and he wouldn't like someone like Drenaldi, right? She looks up at them and she looks back at the map.
00:18:58
Speaker
We should do it now, and she starts to walk out the door. All right, I guess we're doing it now. Was this the last thing that you found? Did you take the map? Okay. There was household stuff, but nothing that really stood out to me. Are you guys coming? On my way, come on, sorry. All right, we're coming.
00:19:23
Speaker
Jockster kind of gives like a look to the rest of the group. I feel so defeated. Kriegs is going to elbow dab and as they're kind of headed that direction. Can you get me in that? Can you get me in that house? I really want to look at that wardrobe. I didn't even lock the back door. You just walk around and open it up. The chest is open too.
00:19:44
Speaker
Do you want to do it now or let's wait till nightfall, alright? Just be extra safe. It's totally nightfall. Oh, well if you want to do it now. Have you seen Vale? Do you know where he is? Is he in the bar? She's out there just talking to people trying to find out where Vale is. You can come along if you'd like. I could be sneaking enough, but it's up to you if you want to keep an eye on these two. I don't think there's too much trouble they can get into here.
00:20:13
Speaker
I'll go with you and I'm gonna reach out and I'll Use two sorcery points and cast invisibility on both himself himself and myself Just looks looks back as if he's going to have some support in You know dealing with Gwen in this moment. Oh We're going shopping man All right, so Gwen you
00:20:41
Speaker
As you walk around, there's only a couple people still out just kind of cleaning up from the shindig that you guys just left because it's all wrapping up the day. Most people who are actually partying have gone to bed or they're headed to their homes to go to bed. So you are talking to a couple. You find a goblin woman out there that's just kind of cleaning up and she directs you to the tavern. Sure enough, you can kind of hear the playing of music inside there.
Gwendolyn & Joxer in the Tavern
00:21:09
Speaker
And that you assume that's where Vale is. So so jocks are after you look back and realize the two the two kids, the two guys that you were with have pretty much disappeared. Pretty much. You look you look ahead and that's when you see you can see Gwendolyn heading into the tavern. His his eyes will perk up a bit. Oh, well, that makes sense. And start heading towards the tavern, just jaunting, almost knowing that he he has other interests in this building.
00:21:40
Speaker
All right, and as you head that direction, Krigs, you and Daven head just across the way there to Darn all these hut. And when you get there, you can see, you find your way to the entry into the pantry, kind of pantry closet area in the back of the house and
00:22:08
Speaker
If you try the door there, it is indeed unlocked. I will cast the door aside and enter. Whoa. I will also enter. Krigs, can you see the map? No. How about now, Krigs? Yeah, I see it. Okay.
00:22:28
Speaker
So here you are in this little room full. This is like a little pantry. It's got a couple barrels, crates, some bags of some sort of like grain or something. It doesn't look like maybe darn all these out of here forever based on the fact that there's still some supplies here, but this is all sealed up tight as if maybe it's meant to be here in preserve for a while. Would you like to just continue on into the house? Daven, are you leading them? It's a long, how's this going to work? Yeah, I'll lead. I'll say this room is just like a pantry. There's some barrels and crates and that's some grain over there and stuff.
00:22:58
Speaker
There's nothing really in here as far as I know. I'll come this way. I'll show you the bookshelf. There's a lot of interesting books on there, but it's kind of part of a clues that I did. I'll take him to the living room and kind of- I follow. I just- I dropped Invisibility so I can see him and he can see me. Okay. I don't drop it because this is fun for me for now. I just kind of follow along.
00:23:20
Speaker
Yeah, he dropped it. He's cast it. So you think you're invisible right now? I still think I'm invisible. What pose are you in? I'm doing the secret agent, like kind of half surfer, one arm out, one arm behind me. Just like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you making the sounds too? Yeah. Awesome. What are you doing? Never mind. This is the first time I've been invisible. This is quite something. Yeah. Where are you? You have to keep talking so I can see you.
00:23:50
Speaker
I'm right here. And then I go behind him. I can run around to the other side. Now I'm over here. I'll play a log. I'll reach my hands out. They're like, I can't find you anywhere. Oh yeah. This is fantastic. All right. Anyway, um, books here, nothing special about this. The bedroom back there is where I found like a little box and the front here is where the chest is. Follow me and I'll walk up to the front to where the chest is. Then I don't follow, but I say, all right, right behind you.
00:24:20
Speaker
I look back and I see where he is and I just kind of sigh a little bit, roll my eyes. All right, I'm glad you're right here with me. I'll open it up so that you don't have to. I'll take the lock off, I'll open it up and I'll pull out the clothes. I'm just ready for Denaldi to just show up. You can't see me. You pull up the clothes and when you do, there's a
00:24:48
Speaker
Uh, just like a shirt, a white shirt, nice brows, if you will. And, uh, it's got like, it's got like frilly front to it. Very fancy. The, there's a jacket that is like silk almost. It's super, super nice. And, uh, it's got a like gold trim on the, on the, the.
00:25:13
Speaker
Around the cuffs on the on the wrists and as well as the collar and down the shoulders down down the sides of the arm he's got pants that nearly match it there black but they've got the purple with the goal down the middle of those and then.
00:25:27
Speaker
Uh, there is a kind of a cape that we drape over your, your neck and tie under on your neck there that, that he has in there too. And it's a short cape though. It just goes near, just, just nearly down to it would go just nearly down to his knees. It feels like. Uh, and, uh, then there's a small, small bag kind of folded up in the clothes, like just a small travel pouch as well.
00:25:50
Speaker
I'd like to do some kind of check, be it Arcana or what, to see if any of these clothes have any kind of magical properties or anything that would make them worthwhile. But I'm not gonna like, I'm gonna sneak over, but like tiptoe sneak and try to stay hidden still from Daven as I go to check these. Okay, make a Arcana check.
00:26:14
Speaker
Um, plus. Not a great number, I don't think. Closed my character sheet like a dummy. Uh-huh. Alright, that's 18. I was hoping for more of a plus.
00:26:27
Speaker
No, 18 is good. So you don't see anything on this that makes you think magical right off the bat. It's just they look like they're very expensive. That's kind of all you're getting. And you've never seen this kind of silken material before. Davin, you haven't either. It's softer than you've ever felt. It's very, it's very interesting. You've never experienced anything like that. What do you think it's made out of?
00:26:55
Speaker
Uh, sexy. I don't know. This is something is just, what is this? I don't know what you want it. I don't not want it. Take it. Look good on you. Especially the cape. It's like perfect size. What color is it? It's purple on the, the backside's purple and the underside is a dull, like a pastel yellow kind of. Hmm. Okay. We can dye it. Um,
00:27:25
Speaker
I'll try it on, just to see what it's like. Okay. Yeah, you tie it on your shoulders, around your shoulders, or throw it around your shoulders, tie it around your neck. And it falls just about right to just above where your heels hit the floor. And yeah, it's a little bulky on your shoulders, around your armor, but it's pretty nice. How do I take off this invisibility so you can tell me how I look? All you have to do, say the magic words, is it's Poopity Pike. Poopity Pike.
00:27:55
Speaker
No, no, no. You have to say it with like a magical tone. Uh, like you really mean it. Like you're trying to, there you are. All right. Perfect. Well, what do you think? Can I do a twirl? How's it look at him?
00:28:15
Speaker
It's fine. It doesn't match like it doesn't look like it goes with what he typically wears. But I mean, it's, it's one of those pieces of clothing, especially as like an accessory or an outerwear that it just looks fancy on anybody. And the way you've seen Craig's up to this point, it looks a little out of place on him. But man, it fancifies him right up. There's that at least. I say we can dye it.
00:28:43
Speaker
I thought the same thing. I think I'll put it in my bag. I don't know that I'm necessarily going to be wearing this anytime soon, but maybe my next Dwarven Goblin dance-off I can really...
00:28:58
Speaker
Light up the dance floor with this, maybe. I'm sure I can see it. A little Disco Craig sort of thing going on. I also found this. There's a little pouch that was hidden in there. I didn't see this before. This is just like a standard travel pouch. It's got like toothbrush, toothpaste, small roller toilet paper. It's kind of like that. Inside there, you do see a few like- Is it a magical toothbrush?
00:29:20
Speaker
Yeah, it tells you when two minutes is up magically so you know when to stop. There's just some rolled up cloth that look like they're for just taking care of whatever. There's some empty vials with little cork stoppers on them that are completely empty. They seem almost brand new. There's three of those and there are some perfectly
00:29:47
Speaker
perfectly oval and kind of flat stones in there that are dark, dark black obsidian stones. I'm going to use my dwarven rock check. Do it. See if these are fancy stones. Natural 17. Hold on with my, I know I get advantage. No.
00:30:10
Speaker
You get advantage if you get a natural 20. 15. I would take 17. What does that mean? Yeah, I am. What? Come on. Stupid. Stupid. What modifier does that use? Nature? That's an OP. Your rock check? Yeah, well, I mean, it's like, I have a proficiency with like, I guess I can still have a damage. Yeah, that would be a nature check. Yeah, okay, it's 17 plus zero. What would it be if it's a history check?
00:30:39
Speaker
Um, 17 plus zero. Okay. I have no end. I'm a dumb boy. It's okay. We still love you. So thanks. And you think you look good in that cape. So it all tracks. But even with a 17, these
00:30:57
Speaker
You look real close and you can tell these stones haven't been crafted in any way. These are naturally this smooth and this shape. They are almost identical in their size and their width. Everything's almost identical about them. Give or take some thickness here and there with them. They're pretty close to identical. How many C's is that? I'm sorry? How many C's is that, the thickness?
00:31:27
Speaker
Oh, it's actually a T-H-I-Q-Q-Q thick. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're thick. So there's six of those in there as well. And they make a nice rattly sound when you hold them in your hands too. Almost like dice. I'm going to pocket those too, just because I fancy myself a crafter and not a hoarder, but definitely see potential and maybe fancy, you know, things.
00:31:57
Speaker
Great. Awesome. Wonderful. Evan, you've been through here. Anything else? I didn't find anything. I was a little unimpressed with the shopping we could do here. I mean, if you want, there's books. If you like books, you have some bedsheets, I suppose, if you really want to get down to the nitty gritty. I didn't really check the kitchen all that well. I suppose you can go take a book seat.
00:32:24
Speaker
I think we best catch up with our friends. I don't think there's going to be too many more things of interest in here. Uh, I do am happy to see what, uh, what we can do with this cloak though. It is nice. Do you have like some sort of a calling card, some way you want to leave like a secret message in case he finds it knows. Oh, it was Craig's and Daven that we're here. I pee in a corner.
00:32:49
Speaker
Oh, my God. Well, you don't try to go hurt up at all, right? Oh, no, you still know you're you're you still don't you don't still think you're invisible. So no, I said the magic words. Oh, that's right. All right. So you go pee in a corner and. Just then you hear peek around, you hear a voice from around the hallway. Oh, no. Who's there? Who is it?
00:33:19
Speaker
And you look and you see you see guess looking around the corner. And he's go ahead. Am I close to Craig's right now? Yeah, he's over in the corner of the hall, I guess. Yeah, I'm going to quickly just grab and cast a mentioned door and get us both out of there. OK, it's going to smell like it's going to smell like urine and sulfur. And I'll put it just right back in my room.
00:33:45
Speaker
You're in for a surprise. It's still peeing. Sorry, I peed all over your door. What's your name? I'll write it on my door now. Interdimensional weed. So you dimension door outside, I assume. Well, I said into my room.
00:34:05
Speaker
Yeah, I think you can get that far. I saw you. It's 500 feet. And you're back in your room. Craig, you're suddenly standing somewhere else. And I'm accidentally peeing on the bed. And I'm just like, oh, I know. Yeah. Well, I don't want to really say anything. Sorry, he was right there. I didn't want him to see us, but I do. Who was right there? I was just, didn't you hear him? Over this stream? No.
00:34:29
Speaker
But I think he has a feeling now that we've been through the room. I don't think that we're going to be able to protect him anymore. I guess let's play it cool. Hopefully he...
00:34:43
Speaker
I don't know. Let's just play it cool and see how that goes. All right. Should we like go talk to him or should we just like pretend like nothing's happening? Nothing happened at all? Well, I feel we can head back over and check and see on Gwen and Drax here. They're going to be talking to Vale. I imagine that conversation is going well. All right. Start with you taking off the cape. How about that? Yeah, let's cut over to that. How about that idea?
00:35:06
Speaker
I immediately take the cape off and, like, tuck it up underneath the sheets. Hopefully, like, it won't get found. And for God's sake, stop peeing in my room. You know, stop dimension doing me while I'm peeing in the corner. That's the most D&D statement I've ever heard in my life. Yeah. Stop dimension during me while I'm peeing in the corner. Tweet that with no context, please.
00:35:33
Speaker
All right. So we jumped, we jumped cut over to, um, to Gwyn and jocks are walking into the tavern there.
Questioning Almanora's Reality
00:35:43
Speaker
And there's a couple of goblins just kind of sitting here and they're talking, but over on the little makeshift stage, sitting up there, just having the guitar in his hand is veil. Just plucking away, playing a little tune.
00:35:58
Speaker
veil, veil, and she starts to run over to where he's at. That that's a nice song. Can I talk to talk to you? Sure, sure. Yeah, I mean, just hang on a second. Sits down the guitar. It was let's talk at the bar. You want to go over there? Come on, let's go. walks over there and three of them please in the
00:36:25
Speaker
Dwarf with the leather apron on, comes up to the bar, hops up on the stool, and sets three meads in front of you. I'm surprised you guys haven't had enough already. Is there still food and stuff on the back, or is it just bar style right now? Mostly bar stuff right now. OK.
00:36:45
Speaker
They could probably scrounge up something for you if you needed it, but you don't see anything out. I think Joxer would say motion that he could take over for a little bit, jump over and just start getting a break while Gwen talks to Vale. Okay, cool. The other goblin takes the apron off and throws it to you.
00:37:09
Speaker
actually just walks out the front door, leaves. Nice. Bye. Good night. Out he goes. Vail, you've been here for a while, haven't you? Oh, I mean, sure. I think so. I mean, I didn't grow up here, but I was brought in probably
00:37:34
Speaker
I don't know, time's hard, you know? It's hard. Yeah, a while. Gwendolyn starts to pull out the map and then she kind of hesitates because she doesn't want to show him.
00:37:46
Speaker
So she pulls it out and starts to unravel. And she's like, actually, I was curious if you ever heard of a place called Almanora. My father spoke of it a lot of the time, and it was his homeland. And I've always read that it was a myth, but I didn't know if you had ever heard anything. Almanora. Almanora. What do you think?
00:38:18
Speaker
I feel like I've heard people talk about it. Maybe I've heard it in songs or poems or stories or something, but I can't say I've ever heard anybody talk seriously. It's somewhere they've been, somewhere they're going. It's always just been something they know about. Uh-oh.
00:38:46
Speaker
I didn't know if, that's what I'm looking for. I just, and then she remembers the, was it shadow wilds? Have you ever heard of the shadow wilds? Shadow. That one's new to me. Yeah, that one's something that I don't think I've heard of, even in art. Sorry.
00:39:15
Speaker
And I'll kind of swing by on the other side to bring another drink if it's empty or anything and then kind of if I found any snacks on that side. Also, are you familiar with the dragon pits? I know it's been spoken about a couple of times, but I don't know where they'd be. Well, the dragon pits I haven't heard of. It's actually one pit. But
00:39:43
Speaker
I don't know if it's been found for a long time. It's funny how things get talked about and then just disappear, you know? Apparently the story is, he reaches over and grabs his guitar again. He just kind of starts plucking. Sorry, it helps me think. And as he's just plucking on the nylon string guitar thing he's got, he says,
00:40:10
Speaker
They say that when our world was made, the gods were fighting over who got to control it, who got to decide what happened here. They put creatures here to fight on their behalf, to rid the world of the creatures that didn't serve them, you know? That's where the war started.
00:40:37
Speaker
trying to fight amongst ourselves to decide whose god is better. Well, they say the dragon pit is where one of the gods threw a dragon egg and it created, it buried itself into the land and created a pit.
Tale of the Dragon Pit
00:40:58
Speaker
And the legend is that that dragon is growing and becoming what the size and the power, the strength it needs to be to
00:41:07
Speaker
I guess destroy everything here that doesn't serve the god that sent it. I've spoken to people that have seen the pit. They've gone to the pit. Did they all fall into the pit? No. They wouldn't go in. Something keeps you from going in. It's like you decide not to when you get there. At least that's what they told me. I think they were chickens.
00:41:36
Speaker
Have you ever met a man with the last name, Toliver? Toliver. No. No, I don't think so. I haven't met very many men. Just those noble people that come through here. Before that, it was all goblins and orcs and people who don't look like you. They look like me. Oh.
00:42:06
Speaker
Okay, Gwendolyn kind of sits there defeated and she just drinks her mug. Thank you for your help. Well, I'm sorry, I don't have more information. You know, when it comes to Almanora, especially it's, unfortunately, most people treat that story like, like it's somewhere you go and you die.
00:42:34
Speaker
Which makes me think it's not real, because I think when you die, I don't think you go anywhere. I think you're just gone. But that's a downer. Sorry about that. I could have another one of these, jockser. Absolutely. Appreciate the information. Well, there's one thing I can do. It's weave a tail. I think I should get some sleep, though. You guys should, too. Aren't you leaving tomorrow?
00:43:04
Speaker
Yes, we'll be heading out and just wanted to get a feel for the rest of the village here and make sure we didn't have any loose hands. Oh, I think you tied up a loose hand pretty good. That deal last night was... I've never seen anything like that. It was about to be the last thing I saw for a moment. When I heard what was going on out there,
00:43:34
Speaker
I slapped Kevin on the back of the head and I said, we gotta get out there. There's problems. And I did what I know to do. I played my song and tried to inspire you to fight as hard as you could. And then I knew if those boar and goats got out of hand, we'd have more trouble than we could handle probably. Kevin's kinda upset. He never got to swing his glaive though. I'm sure he'll get a chance if nothing else for other hunting.
00:44:02
Speaker
Well, I think if that elf man ever comes back here, we may have something to say to him about taking control again. We've enjoyed these last few weeks of doing what we wanted. Absolutely. I think you should. She doesn't stare at Vale. I think if he takes one of us, we'd be in trouble, but all of us? I'm usually a pretty laid back guy, but I'd go crazy for that.
00:44:33
Speaker
I'd lose it a little bit. I'd listen to that story. I'll be sure to write it down. Well, we'll definitely have to stop back here so we could hear that tale weaved by the great veil. Spread the word. I could get to those cities if they'd have me. I bet they've never seen a goblin minstrel before.
00:44:58
Speaker
We'll definitely have to make everybody a little bit more aware. It's a shame that you can't weave more tales elsewhere. Yeah, the ones here have heard them all. They've heard every tale I have to weave. That's true. I'm surprised that the man like you that you don't think you go anywhere after to death. Almanora is real.
00:45:29
Speaker
I just know it. And he's alive. And for a person who tells such beautiful tales, why do you believe you don't go anywhere? She's just been there stewing this whole entire time. You know, I think one of the most beautiful things about a story is the ending. If there's more than
00:46:01
Speaker
I have no ending. I have to have an ending. And listen, just because Almanora is not some final destination when you die, that don't mean it doesn't exist. Every legend is based on something that was once true. So maybe it doesn't look like it does in your head, but that doesn't mean it's not out there. Don't give up hope.
00:46:31
Speaker
And you know, whoever he is, I hope he is a liar. He'll want to see you. Gwendolyn, what's out here? I see. Thank you. And she looks over at Joxer. I'm going to go lay down and Dale told me I have to read my spells and be more knowledgeable on them. So.
00:47:01
Speaker
bye and she just and just gets up and leaves she goes to her room and bye i go in dream on girl dream on it's not open that door you gotta open that
00:47:25
Speaker
Well, well put Vale, every, every myth and every story has, has an origin. I agree. There's a grain of truth to all of it, buddy. If you're looking for the truth, though, sometimes it's hard, hard song to hear.
00:47:45
Speaker
It's true. Unfortunately, you don't always know if it's the truth that the truth that you find is the truth you were looking for. It rarely is. I'm unsure for Gwen. I think there is an almanora, but I just don't know what that almanora is. Well, enough people have talked about it. It's got to be something. We'll help her find it one way or another.
00:48:15
Speaker
And you mentioned that you've met those of goblin origin who have gone to the dragon pit. Are they here or is that from your past? That was my past before we were brought up here. Yeah, I know a couple. They were adventuring types.
00:48:39
Speaker
they thought they'd go the rumor was the story was that whatever that beast was growing into was sent to kill the likes of us so they wanted to go kill it while it was young but when they got there they said something told them they couldn't go down there so i don't know i realized that it might be a lot to ask but do you know which way that that would have been you know
00:49:05
Speaker
might be a little much, but to the north or any particular areas. Well, where I'm from, you don't travel too far north. So I assume they're probably towards the edge of the lands that I'm from and the lands that your people are from, somewhere around the borderlands there.
00:49:35
Speaker
I don't know for sure though. It's just my assumptions. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, I feel like knowledge is a great gift. If you've got it, you don't share it. It's this most selfish thing you can do. I agree. There's nothing more important than knowledge. Here, here. He takes a big drink. I'll take one with him.
00:50:04
Speaker
I'm gonna miss this place a bit. I'm almost dreading to an extent leaving. Well, you're welcome back anytime, I'm sure. Any of us here would be happy to have you. I appreciate it. We'll definitely take you up on that offer. Just maybe next time. I'll give you a more peaceful first night. I'll hold you to that. Alright.
00:50:33
Speaker
I'm gonna go ahead and clean up a little bit and head back to the back and probably need to zonk out for a bit. I assume I'll sleep in tomorrow. Sounds good. If I don't see you, it's been my pleasure. Yeah, you guys be safe tomorrow heading out. The further north you get, this creepier those woods get, I'll tell you that. He starts grabbing cups and plates and things that have been kind of laying out and stacking them so he can take them to the back.
00:51:03
Speaker
Just kind of straightening up, just the bar area, not the whole room. The whole place is pretty cleaned up, but just the last little stragglers that were there, he's cleaning up after them. Cool. As I'll help a little bit, at least gathering what I can together, and then I'll start walking out and wave by. All right, and he says, thank you again. And you can see him kind of walking towards the back to put stuff away. Thank you. And walk out.
00:51:31
Speaker
Probably start heading back to the rooms, unless I see anybody. As Joxer starts to walk out, that's when Davin and Krigs are headed that direction from Darnoldys.
Gwendolyn's Distress Over Almanora
00:51:45
Speaker
And you kind of encounter each other there where the campfire area is as you come out of the front of the tavern, and there they are. May conversation go well, I hope.
00:51:56
Speaker
Um, for one of our party, I think, uh, I think tomorrow we'll have to cheer up Gwen a bit. What does she know? I'm pretty sure she went to her room. Uh, Vale gave her some, I'm not going to say harsh words, but
00:52:19
Speaker
He believed that Almanoa was a place you went after your life ended. Didn't really bode too well. Well, I hope for her sake that he's wrong.
00:52:36
Speaker
I agree. I think at least leading into what we've found out at this point, it seems like there's a lot of different stories. It seems Almanoa has grown into much more of a couple of different fantasies, some that might be more real than others. And I just, I feel like the Almanoa where her father is from,
00:53:05
Speaker
is probably an almanor that exists, but it may not be known as almanor. I'm unsure. Oh, and he did mention that he had met some adventuring goblins that had visited the dragon pit. There's an interesting story about it.
00:53:28
Speaker
Apparently, it's where one of the gods dropped a dragon egg that burrowed into the ground and is basically growing and growing so it can fight the battle for this god. What do I know about dragons? Good question. In this world, and I'll let you roll for specifics, but as far as general knowledge for everybody, dragons have been seen. They have existed.
00:53:57
Speaker
there, but they're kind of like dinosaurs to you guys are like said to be pretty much have been all killed out dead. They've all died out for one reason or another or they're in there, then there's people that are like, there's a dragon under that mountain, it's hiding just like stories of the dragon egg. There's, it's almost like most
00:54:16
Speaker
Most parts of the civilization in Greater Glintry kind of have their own version of a dragon story. And really the dragon pit is the only one that is pretty much universal. They all kind of have their own take on that exact kind of thing that happened. And they all think that it's out either to get them specifically or to fight on their behalf specifically, depending on kind of the culture of that area. You can roll the history check for yourself. Exactly. Things are always...
00:54:46
Speaker
perspective. 17. What am I rolling for? History? 17. Yeah. I'd like to also do a history check, but I'm going to use my dwarven knowledge since it's a rock pit. I'm kidding. But if I weren't kidding, it was a natural 12, so. Okay.
00:55:12
Speaker
the knowledge you have creates, you don't know much beyond like the general knowledge about, you know, dragons. Yeah, Davin, your knowledge goes a little further in that like that there were different types and and that the predominant ones that were known were like
00:55:31
Speaker
Animalistic like white dragons that that you know breathed ice and and they were just monstrous there was no intelligence You just heard of them being just monstrous and they were from the the northwest where the kind of the mountains north of Lavarith and all this stuff where the they say dragons existed in Lavarith actually the the legend of that city is that it was founded as a dragon hunting camp
00:56:01
Speaker
and then grew into a full fledged city over time. And then eventually not having to hunt the dragons, it just wasn't a, it just became a regular city and kind of anything that resembles like a dragon hunting camp is no longer there at all. It's just short of maybe some monuments and people in temples and etchings and temples that would show battles with dragons and fights with dragons and stuff. But you would know about all that.
00:56:32
Speaker
He also noted that the dragon pits would likely be on the borderlands of where we've been, essentially. I don't think we'll be heading towards it as we go to the north.
00:56:47
Speaker
And let me clarify on that too, you guys know the continent of Greater Glintry is quite large and where you are currently is a small section of it. We're talking if the continent is North America, you have existed in like upstate New York so far, right? So there is so much more and really the bottom half of this continent
00:57:14
Speaker
and the top half of this continent were kind of populated separately over time and they have intermingled kind of towards the border but as the further north you get or the further south you get it's pretty specific until you get up into the wilds and stuff it's pretty specific that like mankind or the humanoid looking kind is further north whereas the more monstrous which you have you are learning that is just a
00:57:42
Speaker
that is just what people think about them it doesn't seem to be maybe the case all the time but anyway they live in the further south so that border is gonna be even probably days and days and days south of wild hill travel maybe probably weeks south so it's it's pretty it's quite the distance uh and even like where you are from dab and mill town is like central to the northern part of greater glintry
00:58:11
Speaker
And there's still, you know, a couple of weeks travel to for the gets to go for the South to get to that border. So it's, it's a large, very large space that you're talking about that, that he's saying they went to. So, uh, just a quick side thing. If you want, but I'm changing this, um, you said Davins from Miltown, Dallas Davin is from Alveola. Jox is from Miltown.
00:58:33
Speaker
Joxer's from Milltown. Sorry. I meant Joxer. I meant Joxer. And I was looking at Derek and said, Daven. So Joxer from Milltown. Joxer being from Milltown, you would know, you know, you would have had to travel a couple of weeks to get down to actually a town called Border Watch, which is right near the border. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm basically believing that we're going the opposite direction. If that was interesting.
00:59:03
Speaker
I think we should probably go to bed, get an early start tomorrow. We don't really know how far we've got to go. Question for you, Michael. When it comes to knowledge that I might think I know versus what Joxer knows, is there a co-mingling of that or is it a separate line?
00:59:25
Speaker
There's probably a little co-mingling that there's different types of dragons and different people claim. This is actually more on the Shadowlands portion. I feel like there's a line that after watching Krigs bamf and watching Teld be faded and seeing Krigs have that mixture of craze in the forest that we were doing,
00:59:55
Speaker
I feel like Joxer would have this kind of thought process that there may be something combined into it.
Speculating Shadow Wilds Connection
01:00:04
Speaker
Yeah, I think Joxer would definitely piece together that there's a connection between what happened with Krigs and what was going on with Teld. Maybe not that what happened to Teld was happening to Krigs, but maybe the creature that had grabbed Teld or grabbed Krigs was
01:00:18
Speaker
influence, under the influence of the same sort of thing. Yeah, and I think the jockser would just, it's been bugging me.
01:00:29
Speaker
with with all of the the darkness that has followed us maybe maybe can you you remember when you you were taken by that witch or mage and you you disappeared and you were describing this the the dark place that you were in I definitely remember that
01:00:55
Speaker
I'm just wondering if maybe looking at this map that Daven found, maybe it's not that it's a different place than where we're at. It's a co-mingling with the darkness we've been finding. I don't really understand it, but something doesn't make sense.
01:01:23
Speaker
you at the moment honestly it is pretty late I think let us rest on it and keep that in mind there's too many questions and not enough answers right now and we have a long days travel ahead and frankly I look around I kind of want to get out of the open before you know guess it's a whiff of us out here
01:01:49
Speaker
Um, I, I, it's another, you know, we'll head back to the. Just play it. Cool. Play it. Cool. It's going to walk and be like looking over his shoulder confused. Also, sorry if your room smells like pee and we're just going to head back to the, okay. So you guys all head back to the huts and get inside there and go start to settle in.
01:02:17
Speaker
Gwendolyn's in her room and also settling in there. Joxer and Daven and Craig's, you all finally settle in. Take the rice rest before at least the plan is leaving tomorrow.
01:02:30
Speaker
I knock on Gwen's door. Sorry if the building smells like pee, Devon couldn't hold it, hold it. As I walk away. She does a slight laugh, just when she just looks at Dale while she's cuddled up. He's alive. I know it. I know you know it too. And she starts to just fall asleep with Dale in her arms. All right.
01:02:58
Speaker
That's where we end episode. This one. Yes. This one episode. Yeah.
01:03:19
Speaker
Thank you for listening to yet another episode of The Hired Swords. We really appreciate you joining us for this adventure. And if you enjoyed our show, tell a friend about us. If you really enjoyed it, why don't you tell the world and leave a review. Be sure to check out our shop at thehired.store. And if you want to keep up with us and what we're up to, you can find us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at The Hired Swords. Thank you for listening. I don't know what that was.