Grace's Perseverance Story - Bad Audio for first 2 minutes [S1, E3]

Transcript

Grace: Recording two, three, two, one.

Grace: Hi, welcome to the Tools for Mockets.

Grace: I'm going to start today with the experience for you.

Grace: I'm going to be right here.

Grace: And my name is Jill.

Grace: be behind the scenes and set her up to tell the story. I can assure you that Grace is a woman of perseverance.

Grace: There's definitely been a road of how she's been proving her beliefs.

Grace: some big things that she's done. And then little bit about the road how we're bringing her ideas to life.

Grace: So first let's go back to maybe some early memories.

Grace: don't know if you want to talk about some of your earliest memories or maybe then get into how you found out what you were good at, specifically running.

Grace: Sure.

Grace: So I'm the oldest of three siblings.

Grace: So have a sister two years younger than me.

Grace: And my brother is six years younger than me. So when he was born, I was kind like second mom to him.

Grace: And so always loved helping take care of kids.

Grace: back when I was kid, you know, select and all these like super hyper intense sports weren't a thing, but you know, I did YMCA soccer and I did basketball for a year.

Grace: I, even though I enjoyed sports and that was definitely my thing versus like choir and theater, I wasn't like the girl scoring.

Grace: I'm pretty sure I never scored a soccer goal in a game.

Grace: Like I was a great halfback.

Grace: I could run a lot, but then, you know, I'd pass it to my teammate and then they would score the goal.

Grace: And so I think in that I didn't always feel, and hand-eye coordination probably was not my strong suit.

Grace: I was not a gymnast.

Grace: But I guess we were training for the physical fitness test.

Grace: So you have to do a mile in a certain time. You know, this is back in sixth grade. And I ended up with my friend, Kenny We were running the mile together for like a track meet and ended up tying for first place. This was in sixth grade, 718, which, you know, back then that was a fast mile. Doesn't sound too fast now, but...

Grace: yeah, so that was kind of my like, wow, I'm really good at something. And so from there I went on in seventh and eighth grade to run cross country and would place, I never got first place, but I would place it pretty much every me. And it was like, this is my thing. I might not be able to sprint and beat someone, but I can keep running and I will beat them. especially up on the hills. That was my thing. I never slowed down on the hills, maybe at the top or going downhill. I would, but I always kept the exact same pace going up hills.

Grace: which is hard for people. So I continued that on into high school, even going to a public school and was still able to run varsity cross country, on a 5A team. Again, I was not division one college, get a scholarship for sports, but I did well in that. And then anytime I would do a race, in college and beyond sometimes I get first in my age group, you know, I was just,

Grace: determined whether it was a half marathon or 5k. I did do a half Ironman at one point, to raise money for chicken farms in Uganda. That's a whole nother story. that long arduous, that would have been back in, So it's been a, been a minute.

Grace: but it was like, I determined to do that. I'd never done a triathlon and sure enough, I did that high fireman and think got first in it in my age group and, I've done one triathlon since then, a sprint one. And I really enjoyed that as well. so running has definitely been an outlet for me, kind of continues to be in my journey as now in this season, after having my fifth kid, I'm having to take a step back from running and more kind of like pelvic floor strengthening before I'm just jumping right back into that.

Grace: So that's been something I care about helping other women with, because I know it's a real thing wanting to get back in shape after having kids and then not knowing how to do that safe, safely and in a good way.

Grace: and also growing up, i loved my science classes, you know, I've already shared kind in my first episode about how I went on the journey to become a nurse. Then it worked in an ER, went back to PA school.

Grace: And then now I'm using my PA knowledge as a mother and then to help other moms. I mean, even back to third grade, we got to dissect like, pigs hearts and cows eyes and blow up cows, lungs with a big tube. And I mean, I loved all that stuff. You know, most of the other third grade girls were like all squeamish and saying how gross everything was, but I was just so into it, like all the anatomy, think even in college, I mean, biology was okay, but like once we got to the, like, you're actually dissecting stuff and you're actually like seeing how it fits in the human body, that felt just more relatable than just like, oh, this is a chlorophyll or, you know, Golgi body, you know, things like that.

Grace: so, it's, I guess, been hardwired in me that I've always wanted to be in medicine. And then in high school, did an internship in the neonatal intensive care unit for one of the big hospitals in Dallas, and then continued to get to work just taking care of little preemies in college. But, you know, part of that experience was sometimes it was being at a bedside open heart surgery. Sometimes it was helping carry a little baby who didn't make it down to the morgue. I mean, it was,

Grace: it was intense as a 17 year old. But it didn't deter me from like wanting to go that direction to help people and be involved in like life and death situations.

Grace: So

Grace: as you continue to kind of pursue your dreams, obviously, you went to college. Can you talk a little bit about what your first year of college was like? Yeah, so I went to a big SEC school, So, the Greek life was a huge thing. And I was a triple legacy for one particular sorority and was

Grace: planning to go Greek, you know, doing the rush stuff, sorority recruitment. And for whatever reason, some reason or another, maybe I didn't know the right people, but I ended up not placing into one of the houses, first year. And it was into any houses.

Grace: Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Like some of the houses I've cut them and then, you know, and then of the houses left, you know, I ended up,

Grace: you know, dropping out of rush. And I lived in the all-girl sorority dorm. All of my friends were in sororities. That's what I thought was going to be my, like, thing I did. And so that was just devastating as a freshman. And so, you know, so many days of the week, girls' lives revolved around going to their, you know, sorority meetings and going to their sorority philanthropies and their you know, all the things you do. And so I did, there was this void, you know, and so I ended up joining K-Life, which is kind like young life and, you know, mentoring basically junior high kids. So one girl, I just was texting her this week. We are still in touch. She was in my wedding, but at the time she was a 12 year old kid alone, you know, at a lunch table. And I just went up to her and started a relationship with her. And through that time, you know, she really grew in her faith and started to be the one she went from kind of like being isolated, not having friends to now she was the one who is reaching other people. And now she still is, she's now gotten a master's degree in art and is doing basically like missions type things in urban cities. And so, you know, it's just crazy to see how, you know, hear my heartache and,

Grace: trying to choose something positive really has impacted people I didn't think would still be impacted to this day. But it was still a hard thing.

Grace: And then I ended up working four summers of college at a camp in Africa, which was an amazing experience. But also, know, very taxing physically and also just the stories, you know, there would be kids while we were at Pamela Brittaini, Norcal PTAC, child camp, of HIV some preventable illness that they contracted you know just because they were so malnourished and so one girl in particular named Febby. Norcal PTAC, she's child in the camp, who did the triathlon for try for Febby was.

Grace: you know, died couple weeks before I got to camp. And I was just devastated that this little girl I had known since 2007 died four years later. And, you know, I just didn't even feel like I could really mourn or, you know,

Grace: there was so much going on. And so, you know, years later, you know, decided to kind of pursue doing an initiative to help other kids like her through building chicken farms in Uganda and used doing a half Ironman as kind of the vehicle to do that.

Grace: But, you know, i ended up going back and doing Rush my second year of college. I felt led to go through that again. And through some people I met at Pine Cove, a summer camp in Tyler that I had worked at, as well as Zambi, I stayed busy doing, you know, camps and mission trip type things.

Grace: You know, two of those girls just really saw my heart and ended up, you know, wanting me to be part of their organization. And so here, I ended up going back through rush and then getting to rush the house that my mom and grandma and great grandma were in, Kappa, and, you know, how to, you know, was able to forgive, kind of like the Joseph story in the Bible of just, hey, it's okay about what happened last year and all that heartache I went through of being lonely so many nights, and I was saying, I forgive you, you know, and

Grace: to be able to join this thing I really wanted, you know? So it was both a great experience, but I also kind of realized on the other side, like the grass isn't always greener. And some of my best friends throughout college weren't actually in Greek life. You know, they were through nursing school maybe church or something like that. And so,

Grace: I still think God, you know, redeemed beauty for ashes that I was able to go through that rejection and then forgive those people, be accepted back in the organization that I so wanted and then realize it wasn't where life was at, you know, and then as a senior in college, I ended up being a rush counselor called a Gamma Chi. And so I was able to lead freshmen who are going through that same process. And many of the girls in my group you know, they didn't get either any house or the house they wanted and they were going through rejection and all of those feelings again and to be able to be vulnerable with them. Hey guys, I literally know what it's like, like that happened to me and you're going to see it on the other side. And I kept in touch with many of those girls for several years and, you know, saw their maturation, even if they didn't go Greek, you know, that they were able to find where they did belong on campus. campus. Um,

Grace: And so that really was a big part of my story, even though, you know, now looking back, would I tell my kids to all do Greek life? I don't know, but, you know, I think there was some good that came from that for sure.

Grace: For sure. And a lot of girls, if they get cut from the house, they will just completely, from in the rushing process, they'll just, if they can't join a sorority, they'll just completely leave, right? Yeah, I mean, Arkansas was such a Greek strong school that there would be kids if they didn't get the house that they wanted. mean, they would drop out of college, you know, to go to a different college or maybe rush the next semester somewhere else. I mean, that was, that was it for them, you know? And yeah, I just, I knew that wasn't what I was going to do, but there was still a lot of like lonely nights and times where I, you know, probably chose kind of cowering down versus

Grace: finding a better, you know, thing to do than staying in my dorm room and watching a TV show, you know, but I moved past that, you know, and then had things like Camp Life in Zambia or K-Life, you know, in ways that it's like once I got outside of myself and was helping other people, I think that was probably the most helpful thing to kind of get me out of my funk. And then once I got out of that place to then realize that's not necessarily where life was. You know, like I said, I ended up finding a lot more life through other programs on campus, not just Greek life.

Grace: So then after, as you're starting to graduate from college and then after school, talk about what that was like going from college to working in a small town ER in Arkansas, maybe some of the challenges there.

Grace: Yeah, so I had really gotten connected in a church in Fayetteville, Arkansas, and was part of their youth group, like helping be a youth leader. And so I would say a lot of my friends were starting to get married. And even though I really desired that, it just hadn't lined up for me yet, you know, and was like, okay, well, I felt like God was calling me to stay where I was at, still be connected with my family in Dallas, but to be planted in Arkansas. And so I worked at ER there for, guess it would have been a year and a half total before I moved to Dallas and learned so much. I mean, did night shift. I had a great charge nurse who would intentionally put me, you know, here as a new nurse with the things that really were scary, you know, harder for me, like a trauma patient or

Grace: you know, you have codes, which means someone comes in basically dead on arrival and you're having to the CPR and run all the meds to try to resuscitate them. And, you know, a lot of times they don't come back, but through that experience, you know, really growing in my confidence and then some things that at a time were challenging, like for a while I kept missing IVs and feeling not confident. but then,

Grace: you know, that again, that charge nurse being like, you're going to get back in there, we're going to figure out what your challenges and help you do it the right way. And getting to a point where I became so confident with nurses, I was able to do them in people's necks, you know, like invert them and, you know, which in a lot of hospitals only like anesthesiologists are allowed to do And so once I developed that competency, I was really proud that like, wow, you know, obviously you don't want an IV in the neck if you can avoid it, but it's like, hey, if someone really needs an IV, I can put it in, you know, and so, or little babies, you know, these teeny little veins like right on their head or on a little teeny hand, you know, and so that was a skill that I struggled with for a little while, but then was able to grow in competence

Grace: and then during that time was when my husband joseph and we started dating had known each other for a while but he pursued me and was even willing to like move to a different state to help me pursue my dream to go to medical school obviously you guys know i made the best choice. And, but what was that like for you? I mean, were you kind of always going on dates with guys in college and high school or what was that, that story like for you?

Grace: Yeah. So, I mean, being the, if you haven't gotten the sense, I was quite the overachiever, you know, If you could get like an A on something, I was getting the A plus, you know, I would like whatever you needed to get the top grade possible. So there were not a lot guys on the scene, you know, which now have gratitude that I didn't have the heartache and,

Grace: situations that i've you know had friends face that was challenging too you know to go through all pretty much all high school and college with no one asking me on dates going to dances you know i would go sometimes to the sadie hawkins i would invite you know a guy that was friends from church or something or you know, occasionally we would do like group things, you know, so I tried to get out there and I tried to have fun and hang out with my friends who were girls, but yeah, that was hard to be, feel like I was the only one who wasn't dating around.

Grace: But, you know, then when I met my husband, he really hadn't been this huge, you know, huge on the dating scene either. And so it kind of, I waiting for the right one.

Grace: So it kind of lined up that it's like, okay, I'm glad I didn't, Waste my kisses on the wrong boys. That's for sure. We were each other's first everything. And so glad that we waited for each other.

Grace: Okay. So definitely there were times of testing. However, you know, obviously being in a sorority and, you know, I know you've told me stories about, you know, you could have made different choices, but what kept you focused on waiting on your values?

Grace: I think just the seeing where you're going, you know, and having something worth waiting for. Interesting as this is, couple years before Joseph and I started dating, I really felt like I was supposed to study who Joseph was in the Bible, the character of Joseph, and I'd written on my little future husband checklist, you know, it was like, a man like Joseph. that kind of integrity. You know, I didn't think my actual husband is going to be named Joseph, but I really started meditating on, I want to be someone like Joseph in the Bible, you know, who has this total forgiveness here. He's been wronged in so many ways.

Grace: And yet that doesn't stop him from, you know, the plans God has for him. And then He is promoted to a position of authority multiple times, but he doesn't let that position of power kind of taint him, you know, where he doesn't give in to Potiphar's wife or, you know, some certain things that he could have totally compromised on.

Grace: And then he then I feel like the stage I'm in at in some ways right now with Joseph, you know, he had two sons that we know of Ephraim and Manasseh who, we get the sense in the Bible that they were the sons of unity because, you know, most of Jacob's other sons, there was so much tension and, you know, discord. And Jewish people still to this day, when they bless their sons on Friday night for Shabbat, they say like, may you be like Ephraim and Manasseh, two honorable patriarchs from the Torah. And we tell, we have five boys and we tell them that frequently. We want our number one thing for you is we want y'all to be brothers in unity. And,

Grace: I think that started from who Joseph was with, you know, forgiveness and not compromising. And so those things that he did early on in his life, kind of like for me, you know, maybe that was choosing not to, you know, go to, you know, sleazy dances or not to go to the frat houses where there's all this drinking or whatever it is, you know, not trying to point fingers, but those small choices then paved the road for like where I'm at today and where,

Grace: our kids are able to be at. And, you know, and then here Joseph's sons got kind of like a double inheritance where they're really, there should have been 11 tribes of Jacob or Israel, but then Joseph was divided into two. So it became the 12 tribes, you know? And so I feel like there's a lot in Genesis to learn from that story. So I think that can kind of highlight. Mm-hmm.

Grace: like where I was and where I want to keep going. Yeah. Waiting for the right opportunities. Obviously we waited till marriage, uh, do married people things. And, you know, we can edit this out if that's too much information, but, but yeah, having a vision in a trust that God's way is better.

Grace: and that's how we want to raise our kids too. okay. So you talked a little bit about choosing to go back to medical school.

Grace: Did your friends kind of understand you? Were there guys that were like, oh yeah, this will be great. I want my wife to be a doctor someday. Or what was that?

Grace: How was that overcome? Obviously, I'm setting you up. What did you have to overcome there? Yeah, so I think, I mean, growing up in a Christian subculture where, you know, which again, really, hear I am a stay-at-home mom now, so I'm not hating on stay-at-home moms, but there can be some Christian culture of like, this is the only right way to live and to be. And so I think I felt a lot of guilt that like a woman shouldn't be a doctor or wouldn't, a woman can't do that, you know? And I wouldn't, it was all these unspoken things, you know, I wouldn't have, maybe I'm not smart enough, you know?

Grace: And I finally got to a place where I, a mentor and one of the youth group leader at the time, you know, like, Grace, you need to stop saying, I think I'm going to go to medical school. I think I'm going to be a doctor.

Grace: I'm going to be a doctor. Like just say what it is, you know, and then if that changes for some reason, you know, I'm going to be a PA, you know, just like, you know, state what's going on in your life. You know, you don't have to be ashamed of that. And so Joseph was definitely a guy knew who, you know, he had heard through the grapevine or whatever. Oh, I think Grace is going to medical school now that that wasn't like a,

Grace: crazy thing to him, you know, and when we got to know each other we're dating, you know, he knew my heart that wanted to have a big family, to have kids, but also pursue medicine. And I didn't know how was going work, but I was just taking the next step.

Grace: And, know, he really supported that, you know, that we didn't have to know why we just needed to walk out in obedience. You know, I still don't know completely. Why did I go to all of that school, learn all that stuff, graduate top of my class twice to now be You know, homeschooling at home, you know, it can feel anticlimactic in some ways.

Grace: But then what if I was working full time at a big corporation, would I feel more fulfilled? don't know. You know, I tried that before and it's it's a grind to do that, especially with young ones at home that get sick and things happen.

Grace: So does that kind answer your question? Yeah. And obviously, yeah, you were willing to focus on you felt like God called you to be despite the challenges and the fact that our systems, our hospitals, our culture is not really set up to let moms be professionals and good systems. And maybe that leads into the next question about, you know, how you, you experienced that firsthand that it was hard to be both a mom and a PA.

Grace: So you want talk at all about different challenges during pregnancy and some of the things you've overcome?

Grace: yeah yeah I've had all of my babies with midwives I've just loved the model I feel like it's empowering to women like weigh yourself you do your own swab you don't have to like you know be weighed by someone or you know they talk about instead of someone delivering your baby you're birthing your baby and they're like there to catch the baby just those small differences I think And having more that relationship driven care, which I think keeps stress levels down. then when mom's stress levels down, then delivery and things like that can go better. But even when you do all the right preparation, you know, birth is an adventure. And I think each child's birth in a way kind of reflects who they are as a person, but, and kind of maybe odds that they're coming up against. So yeah, with my first son,

Grace: born naturally at a birth center right by a hospital with a nurse midwife.

Grace: so again, it's like, you know, birth is not for the faint of heart and, you know, there's scars, I guess, left on our bodies and our hearts from that process, even if We do it naturally and try to have it as you know, aligned with God as possible, that it's still a challenging thing. And with my second son, we decided to have him in the hospital with a midwife just to have kind of the extra hospital backing.

Grace: for my third and fourth birth was really just able to have these redemptive births at a birth center without any issues, you know, no tearing, and was really just, yeah, a gift from God a time, was still kind of the COVID time when so many people were forced to wear masks when pregnant, no one could be in the hospital with them, and so we really wanted to do things differently, where we had some of our closest friends, you know, female friends at the birth with me, and then for my

Grace: fourth side being born, my oldest son was able to be there as well. And then we were able to have our last baby here where we now live with a midwife. And we had a home birth. It was a harder birth for me.

Grace: love you grace so thankful for how you've laid down your life for our children and yeah you really you love them so much i hope they someday realize that how much you've put on the line for them and i just love how you have you're such a hero you're an amazing picture of god's love so thanks for sharing that

Grace: So I feel like throughout that process, you know, you also have remained unwaveringly committed to honoring God's design for your body, right? I just want to talk about how you've chosen to continue to believe in something even when it's hard.

Grace: I think there's a lot of hard decisions now we have to make as moms, you know, like when do you give your kid a phone and how many shows do you let them watch and what are the rules for iPads or, you know, yeah. How do you bring a baby in the world? world? Um,

Grace: And a lot of times a decision that's hard, like not having the iPad or waiting a long time for a phone, you know, that makes your life more challenging, you know, and it could end up being more enriching, or having to walk somewhere, you know, that takes a lot longer than driving in your car, And so these small things that, again, they may seem insignificant at the time,

Grace: But they really add up to a different life, you know, and I definitely don't want to, you know, there's reasons to have a more medical birth, whether it's with an epidural or C-section, you know, so our heart is not to,

Grace: hate on people that that needs to be what they they need. I'm a big believer in there's a right time have medicine, but we got to be willing to ask questions, you know, even with a couple of my children, whether needing a surgery or a broken bone, a lot of times what different medical institutions were offering is like, okay, we're going to this, this, and this drug, you know, they only needed one of those, or, you know, they were saying, oh, you have to sedate the child to put, put an IV in. And I said, I think they'll be okay. Let's just try the show. And Sure enough, you know, or same thing, just getting a filly like, oh, yeah, you have to do sedation to get a filly. was like, I'm pretty sure they'll be OK. You know, but again, if you don't use shows as your default, then watching that Jungle Book for the first time ever, it's going to be really entrancing for a kid who, again, who's hardly seen cartoons.

Grace: But I think we can always make those small shifts, you know, like we're realizing some of our kids eat way too soft, soft of foods, and we do more process than needed. And so that's a shift we're working on is how can we get more raw veggies and more nuts and more things that you really have to chomp on in their diets and that there's some push.

Grace: You know, when you first make those changes, it doesn't come easy. So there's definitely grace, pardon the pun, for like wherever you're at in the journey and each situation being so different. You know, if we didn't have family help or babysitter help, you know, I probably would need to be more reliant on shows at some points to do what I'm doing right now. And so every person's situation is so different. Yeah.

Grace: But it is those small choices, I think, that can add up to a radically different next step, I guess. For sure. And we're learning, you know, as we go. So it could be a year or two, we come back and we revise some things here because, as I said, we're testing this out and we want to kind of learn in the light and hope that that what we share here is helpful to others well.

Grace: Great. Well, I think that is a great place to wrap it up today. Obviously, you guys can see the perseverance of my beautiful bride and how she's continuing to run literally.

Grace: and want to run and want to keep doing the things that God's created her to do.

Grace: you want to just set the stage for part C? Sure. Yeah. So in the next episode, we just want to kind of give you the overarching vision of like, why Skills for Mom? There's so many podcasts, there's so many websites and blogs out there, which again, I I see that and I'm kind of, I've questioned that myself, but I feel like I have a unique skillset and a unique background that I really want to bring information and not just information, but wisdom, true wisdom to moms to empower them to live differently and just make those minor, minor tweaks that could, you know, when you think of trajectory, make a big shift down the road.

Grace: So thanks for your time and we'll see you next time.

Grace: Okay, that's it Tools over water and glimming.