The Middle Path: Practical Choices Between ‘Natural’ & Mainstream (S1E3)

Transcript

Speaker: Welcome back to the Skills for Moms podcast. Today, we're going to talk to you a little bit about the long-term vision and where if we're wanting to go with this podcast to help.

Speaker: Yeah, so the first two episodes, we talked a little bit about Grace's origin story, how she became who she is. And then next, we talked about her perseverance, some some really major challenges she's had to overcome.

Speaker: you guys can't tell, i really admire my wife. I really love her ability to run hard and really keep going in a single direction, get slowed down.

Speaker: So next we want to talk about the future. Yeah. So I think, you know, it says in the Bible, love others the way or treat the way you would want to be treated. And A big part of us as moms is if we don't take care of ourselves, we will break down and we won't be able to take care of our children and those who we love the most.

Speaker: We see this a lot with nurses, teachers, care providers that we often are the worst patients. you know We are not stewarding our our own bodies. We're pouring ourselves out to other people. And so this is a core area that really want to help moms in to take care of themselves.

Speaker: and really looking at what does it look like to encourage and support women from menarche, meaning when a girl starts her period, which could be as young as 10 to when she becomes kind of maiden, you know, a young woman that has her first child becomes like a matron to a crone or an older, wiser woman who has gone through menopause and that each of these stages of a woman have different needs. And,

Speaker: we largely don't talk about those just like how a woman's cycle changes, you know, the the hormones and the shifts and what we can do throughout a month change compared to a me and our time management strategies, our exercise, our food choices, all really could be different depending on the time of the month it is for us versus a guy who can feel like a copy paste every day.

Speaker: And so I think as a speaking from experience from areas I felt like a gap in my own growing up. And then now having had children and breastfeeding and getting depleted and needing to refill myself, I really want to be there.

Speaker: for other women and getting closer to that perimenopause type time in my own life. I also want to learn about and empower other women in that stage as well. And so I hope to have people on this podcast interviewed, you know, who specialize in things like pelvic health and other topics that could really help us shed light on some issues that women have and face. But a lot of times,

Speaker: can be like the woman issue of blood in the Bible that she, you know, it's kind of embarrassing. And so you don't talk about it. You don't get help, but there's help out there for a lot of these things. Um,

Speaker: Yeah. So that's definitely one area that I really want to address. So I've always seen up being kind of like a bridge between, um, different schools of thought, you know, like being in the medical world my whole life occupation, but then also really caring about holistic living.

Speaker: And I've just noticed a big divide, you know, where sometimes the natural stuff doesn't line up or it could cause more harm than good, you know, but then, um, vice versa, you know, and so really being a bridge of which natural things apply in certain situations and which things need traditional intervention and knowing as a person, like,

Speaker: how to navigate that system because it is complex and complex and nuanced. You know, every situation is different. And, you know, I definitely want to continue doing life with other moms who are great resources on home organization and classical education and um really giving our kids the good, the beautiful, full and the true, you know, the rich things in life and how to help our kids breathe better and you know, decreased stress and anxiety level and an apprenticeship culture, you know, entering more into preparing kids for adulthood than just,

Speaker: you know, career training, if you will. And so those are the type of people that i would want to host and bring on the show to, you know, glean from.

Speaker: You know, I'm right here learning with you all, my own family.

Speaker: What about, you mentioned earlier in the earlier episode about kind being a bridge between like the established medical system and maybe the holistic community.

Speaker: Some would call them crunchy. Yeah, I guess I kind of just alluded to that, but just trying to kind of navigate what some of those differences are and ways you can bring the natural into your life safely. And then, you know, ways that you may benefit from getting that second opinion or going to, you know, a doctor. And so I definitely would be interested to hear what topics are of peak interest to people or things that people, you know, are most challenging in their life. Like, for example, one would be to be just helping kids recover well from illnesses where you get an illness, it can happen, but then,

Speaker: a kick and bounce back quickly and doesn't stay sick a long time or have to get on lots of courses of antibiotics. Like how can we help support the immune system to do that? And what are some simple cost-effective ways at home that you can do that?

Speaker: And you know, people on both sides of the spectrum. So think you're naturally able to be a bridge. So yeah,

Speaker: so What about just for our own family and kind of our multi-generational, what do you feel like you want to see more of and encourage moms with?

Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. We've been really impacted by an organization out of Cincinnati called Family Teams. I have a book here that Jefferson Bessie wrote called Take Back Your Family.

Speaker: And he talks a lot about you know, the individual nuclear only family we see in America is really not how it's been for most of other cultures or most of the time on the earth. You know, most of other cultures are multi-generational, whole families. Many generations live together. My husband can attest his first cousins are Italian. And so we've gotten to visit the village where they grew up, where his grandfather was born. And They all live together you know within blocks of each other, if not in the same stacked building. And that's just normal life there.

Speaker: And you know it's kind of this American concept that we all need to have 3,500 square foot you know separate homes where we all need dual incomes. And we see each other only when we want. And we pay for childcare. Again, none of these things are wrong. We you pay for childcare. We pay. you know, have a home that fits our family, but just getting back to that, let's bridge the generations. You know, we, let's change that paradigm of we're raising our kids to just fly the coop to like, what if we had something worth them coming back to and building together? You know, our sons all have different gifts where they could expand and do things different than me. And so what if, you know, I'm starting this thing now with my husband and my family, but,

Speaker: it could involve them as they get older and they could do different arms. Maybe decide to help kids, you know, cookbook and things that they're learning because they have just great imaginations. One thing we've always done with them is, you know, if they're like, mom, how do I draw such and such?

Speaker: You know, we don't just look it up on our phone. You know, our first thing is, well, who do we know that knows about that? Okay, well, let's ask that person if he could draw for us. Oh, well, we could get a book at the library. Oh, let's look in the dictionary. But,

Speaker: Like we're not going to just instant gratify and Google every single thing want to know about. And that takes discipline because that's, you know, even with medical stuff, that's what we want to do We want to Google and, you know, all of this AI generated stuff, which again, it's a great tool, but it's, you know, filtering certain messages to us. You know, even as I was creating some content recently, certain articles I knew were legitimate, you know, double blind, randomized controlled trials, you high level evidence study. I was searching and searching, trying to find them. Finally, you know, got them on PubMed, but you know, certain things they've made just more difficult to find when you, when you do a simple search. And so do we want our kids being trained to get the information just like that? Or do we want it to be like in the Proverbs where they have to like dig for that hidden goal, you know?

Speaker: And so I hope that this podcast can be something that points you to, if you're used to just, consuming and ingesting information that then you take it and you you take it and you run. And maybe you're the one doing something beyond what I'm able to do, but that this was some jumping point for you to that next step.

Speaker: Well said. I love that. I know you had a couple other books that were impactful to you. was one I want to just um talk about them right quick.

Speaker: Sure. So I feel like and need to just give credit where credit is starting with the Bible. You know, it's so easy to want to read the best parenting book, the best marriage book, the best schooling, whatever book, but this has everything we need.

Speaker: And so it may not, it may feel like it doesn't have something specific that you need, but if you read this, it will change the other things. And so just like,

Speaker: I come back to being a good parent. Every parent usually wants to be a good parent, but the best way to be a good parent, it's like, love your spouse, you know, and work on that connection. And if there's issues, they're getting out, however that means, maybe it's counseling, maybe it's doing a Bible study together. Maybe it's a small group, you know, there's different vehicles for that happen. But if we don't work on ourselves, then what's coming out of us is not going be what we want. So every parenting book in the world can't fix that.

Speaker: Um, Another otherwise i would highlight, this is just one example, would be Charlotte Mason. um So there's a lot of great podcasts and like broken down content of hers, you know, online, but reading the original text, I think is very formative. I have not read all her original texts, but I want to keep digesting. I think when we read things that are hard for us, whether it's C.S. Lewis or Charlotte Mason or Chesterton or it forms us in a different way. Same with with story, you know, things like Narnia and Lord of the Rings.

Speaker: And so don't underestimate how reading a good story with your kids, Jungle Book, for example, we are reading that right now. And it's been forming me of like, wow, the the laws of the jungle, how's the laws in our country? How, what are some parallels here? What's going on, you know?

Speaker: And one thing I love about Charlotte Mason is she talks about let's see, which the way of the will and the way of reason and how as much as we'd like to think that our logic dictates our decision, we always ultimately follow our heart. And so if you can form child or our own affections and what we desire, then your logic will always back you up, you know?

Speaker: And I've seen that with myself or family members. Once I think a product or An idea is right. I will come up with 10 or 20 reasons why I'm right.

Speaker: But it's like my my choice came first, if that makes sense. So we really have to form those those affections for our kids and make sure the motivations we're generating them. This is another thing Charlotte emphasizes.

Speaker: It's not for a reward or to avoid punishment or to, you know, either... please our parents or not get their disapproval, but we do the right thing because it is the right thing. That is the bottom line. And we really want our kids as they mature to not be doing things for prizes because that is, you know, how it is now. It's you get a prize just to go to the dentist or because you showed up to class, you get a prize.

Speaker: But it's like, we also don't want them to be motivated fear of punishment, but we want them to do their chores because like, that's the joy. you Clean the floor. It's clean now. That is that's the reward. And yes, maybe sometimes you get money or maybe you get a high five or that encouragement. Those are things, but you don't have to get that every time.

Speaker: this is a book that really impacted me with childbirth, birthing from within. And it's written by a a nurse, midwife, um, and just kind of that bridge of, you know,

Speaker: like we have inside what it takes to have children. And that doesn't mean it's not going to be hard, but we need to process through past heart experiences or future fears of heart experiences to help enter into that birth experience without fear. And if you don't fully acknowledge some of those fears that you have, then when you go into childbirth, they will come up.

Speaker: And so I think this is a good book to just not just blanket to say, oh, it'll be easy, you know, but to kind of like, okay, it's going to be hard, but I'll prepare for something that's going to be hard and do it well.

Speaker: And then I'll end with, let's see, this is probably my top parenting book, Kids on Child Trading by Henry Clay Trumbull, my top parenting book. It was written in the late 1800s by Elizabeth Elliott's grandfather who started the Sunday school movement in America And I've heard it mentioned in Sally Clarkson's top book list. And it has all of these short essays on just topics that just are so helpful. You know, something as important as how we bless our children the night or not to tease our children, meaning when you tell a child, you know,

Speaker: you know, you can't do this thing. And then you go back and change your mind. That's like teasing them. And then they'll end up doing that back to us. Like, well, mom, can have just one more versus no, if I said one, that that's what it is, you know, and that we really want to demonstrate and show them how to do that. And so this is a great book. It's really not about behavior modification, but it's about shaping those affections in the heart.

Speaker: Um, Two other books I would recommend. This is written Joseph Pfeiffer after World War II, a German philosopher, Leisure, the Basis of Culture. i think it's very important for today in America of how basically what we do in our leisure, not just like hanging out on a Saturday, but You have to have a posture of rest to truly be able to worship. You have to have a posture of rest to truly think new thoughts. And so he was coming from a perspective of being in a communist um kind of culture and how they lost um what their culture was in that environment. And so I think it's very fitting to consider just in the landscape we're in in America with a lot of kind of

Speaker: whatever you want to call soft totalitarianism or just us allowing changes to happen across the country and being okay with it. You know, finally, I would recommend amusing ourselves to death by Neil Postman.

Speaker: He was a media critic back in the eighties and he was talking about how the medium you receive a message becomes the message. So if you receive a message, even this one I'm giving you through a video,

Speaker: that changes the content of what you're receiving. That when we receive something through hearing or the written word, those are different messages than a video message.

Speaker: And he even gives examples like in public debates, you know, two presidential candidates and the one who had more face makeup, one when it was a video message and then the one who had probably better oration, one when people just heard the message on the radio.

Speaker: is a Nixon Kennedy. Yeah. It was the famous example. But um this is a required read at one of our good friend's coffee shops for all of his employees, a coffee shop in Dallas. And we also have just been impacted by that and how careful we want to be with the images we left our home for our own eyes and then for kids, not in a condemning you know, screen types always equal because it is something we all need to learn to navigate in life, but more of like how we receive crucial information we want to personally receive through the written word and not just watching videos about political movement events that have happened.

Speaker: So those are, yeah, a couple of the top books I'd recommend here currently. Okay. Well, I think that about wraps up today.

Speaker: Yeah, we look forward to bringing you more helpful content, especially i know you prepared a resource recently about how to navigate cold and flu season, how to prepare for it, what to do while it's happening and then recovery.

Speaker: So I think that's something we'll hopefully share soon. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you for your time. You guys have a great day.