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Elizabeth Boop
340 Plays1 year ago
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SHOW NOTES:
We Don’t Have a Podcast Yet Babies - that’s what faith is all about
Podcast 2000 - this is a slightly different idea
Extended Podcast Universe - “don’t tread on me”
The Pulitzer Wurlitzer - I’ve immediately broken my “no drone strike” promise
The Mopstar - it’s Spanish for “Joseph Butter”
Mortgage in the Time of Video Games - much like a little Italian plumber
Camp Monsterson - it’s just Westworld Babies
Free Beer and Hot Wind - Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson are back
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Transcript
Should We Start a Podcast?
00:00:13
Speaker
We don't have a podcast. Who needs one? We do. I guess.
Elizabeth Holmes and Unorthodox Defense Tactics
00:00:29
Speaker
Do you think it's a good defense against criticisms? Yeah. Yeah. I use it all the time. People are always criticizing me. I'm always right in their face. They're getting little flecks of spittle. That's what Elizabeth Holmes should have done. Yeah. Is it true that you lied about your blood machine?
00:00:53
Speaker
and then walk away. Let the records show that the defendant made the jerk off motion. Case closed. I want my blood to be tested. Fuck you.
00:01:17
Speaker
You knew the risks going in. I love that she has changed to not have a super low voice now to try and get out of being in trouble. She's like, yeah, hi, I'm Elizabeth Holmes. Don't put me in prison. I'm just a lady. I'm just a normal lady. I thought my blood machine worked, Mr. Judge. I've been a bad little girl.
00:01:46
Speaker
Happy birthday, Mr. Judge. Elizabeth Holmes, ladies and gentlemen, Elizabeth Holmes has turned
Financial Fiascos and Tech Failures
00:01:58
Speaker
into Betty Boop. She got in surgery to make her head the size of a watermelon.
00:02:08
Speaker
She has two gigantic eyeballs, a watermelon-shaped head, and her body is the size of a child. She's singing happy birthday to the judge. There's a bunch of skeletons dancing around.
00:02:26
Speaker
She brought a boombox with her that plays Cab Callowing. Hmm. We don't have a podcast yet, and we've never had a blood machine. All we have is a terrible AI. Mm hmm. We've got all these other AIs out there now running circles around us in defense of our AI. It did tell us to invest in blood machines. We did. We had so much so much of your Patreon money was
00:02:53
Speaker
Just we had long calls or puts. The one where you gamble on the stock market, where you think it's good. You were doing all of this behind my back. This is also why I don't remember which one it was, but I think it might have been the wrong one, whichever one that is. I was like Enron blood machine.
00:03:23
Speaker
Kenny Rogers Roasters, was that ever a publicly traded corporation?
Post-Podcast Plans and Personal Obsessions
00:03:27
Speaker
No, my investment strategy is more like, I think that this is the year that the Pittsburgh Pirates really put together. I put a bunch of our money into backing the Washington Generals. Oh yeah. Folks, we're here.
00:03:51
Speaker
We're live in person, we're not doing it over the internet. It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon. We're already thinking about grilling, I've got some sausages. When this is all over, we might do some bocce. Oh, so we could just play a game of horse, shoot the ball around. That's true.
00:04:17
Speaker
We're here in my basement. It's very redesigned and looking nice. Coming along. It's coming along. I don't know what the what the plan is. Once it's done, I got I bought a new computer and I got excited like a like an expectant mother. I was like, I have to get the nursery ready. Wait, did we talk about this on the last one? I hope not.
00:04:43
Speaker
I think we might. I've definitely talked to you about this in person. I don't know if you did it on the podcast or not. Listen, folks, if I talked about this on the last one, I want you to go to the reviews. I want you to give this show a one star and say, won't stop talking about new computer. Yeah. He thinks new computer is baby.
00:05:04
Speaker
I'm worried about how he's trying to feed baby. He's dressing up like Betty Boop. He's singing Cab Calloway songs.
Podcasting as Babies: A Humorous Concept
00:05:15
Speaker
I have an idea for a podcast. Oh, do you? It's called We Don't Have a Podcast Yet Babies. Okay. I don't know if you're familiar with the
00:05:29
Speaker
Muppet babies? Oh, I'm very familiar with the Muppet babies. And the very derivative Disney babies. Baby Mickey, Baby Goofy, and the like. Yeah, that's not of my era. I don't know whose era that was. Possibly our audience's era.
00:05:49
Speaker
Are you oh, yeah, I guess we got young listeners out young ears listening to us Say all kinds of nasty. I don't know but I don't think that the the Disney babies Just ripped off every movie and for some reason we're allowed to splice in footage footage of Star Wars in the opening credits That's why you can't watch it anymore because it's that's incredible
00:06:17
Speaker
Shouts out to Jim Henson. Well, now that Disney owns everything, we could finally get those Muppet babies DVD releases. Those babies. We want those babies. But this would be a podcast that explores what it would be like if we had been doing the show when we were babies. OK. And there'd be some some light diaper play. Well, there's always some light diaper play.
00:06:48
Speaker
the way the light plays off that diaper. 24 karat diapers, baby. We're gonna hire a 24 foot tall woman to be our nanny who just comes in with a booming voice. Elizabeth Holmes, I know you're not busy. Hey, what are you babies doing in here? Oh, sorry, nanny. We're doing a podcast. I just like to tug at her very long socks.
00:07:18
Speaker
I need you babies to help me with my blood machine. The plot of the podcast is we're we're two babies and we're helping Elizabeth Holmes. I'm trying to think about it with her blood juicer machine.
00:07:41
Speaker
I'm sure that whichever one of us is the gonzo would really screw it up and there would be blood everywhere. Honestly, can we talk to the Department of
00:07:57
Speaker
What is that? The DOJ. Could we get some sort of a furlough thing where we get Elizabeth Holmes? But she has to come and do projects with us instead of going to prison. And the project that we're working on is one where she is the nanny of the mother babies.
00:08:14
Speaker
Because I've already got so many episodes planned out. OK. Yeah, I think so. I think we would have to maybe say that we're going to donate all proceeds to some blood disease charity.
Elizabeth Holmes: From Courtroom to Podcast
00:08:27
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:08:31
Speaker
And I think that they might release her not on her own recognizance, but upon yours. Yeah. So you might you might have to become a jailer. We got. Well, I got a futon down here in the basement now, so she can she can sleep on the futon and every day we'll be like today, Miss Piggy gets to fix your frizzy hair. Baby Miss Piggy.
00:08:57
Speaker
Now, baby us, right? Like we, I don't think we have the rights in the Muppet Babies. I don't have, well, listen, the Muppet Babies turn about fair play. You're going to steal Indiana Jones and put him on your TV show without paying. We get to steal you. We can, we can kidnap the Muppet Babies. I think it's for the best because if I try to like do the voices of any of the Muppet Babies, it's going to get scary.
00:09:23
Speaker
They baby animal had the best voice. I believe that was Howie Mandel. Maybe Howie Mandel the legend. I think Howie Mandel did multiple babies.
Muppet Babies: Voices and Beliefs
00:09:34
Speaker
Wow. That's incredible. I could look it up, but I choose to just believe it, you know, that's what faith is like in our modern times. Back in Mesopotamia, they were like, well, you know, the great
00:09:52
Speaker
The Great Dragon of Chaos was slayed by Marduk, and then he poked holes in the copper dome that covers the earth, and that's what the stars are. And we're like, I believe that Howie Mandel did the voice of Scooter, Skeeter, Baby Rolf, and Baby Gonzo. I think when they had Bunsen and Beaker episodes, he was a Beaker as well. I'd believe that he was all of the characters.
00:10:20
Speaker
And and I'm I mean, other than the Muppets, I can't think of a single that. I don't know what happened on that show. I watched every episode of it as a kid. None of it stuck. I could remember different episodes of it. But I mean, it was it was a pretend show. I guess it was all pretend. They would start with a topic and
00:10:49
Speaker
It would start out in the nursery in real life and they would talk about something and there'd be some sort of argument. And then there they would all of a sudden be in a world of. If Mother Goose or Star Wars or. What have you. I guess like something like there was some sort of action scene and then the nanny would come and check on them because it was loud.
00:11:16
Speaker
All I remember of that show was the theme song and then I fucking checked out. I guess the Muppet Babies were kind of like my Bachman Turner overdrive. They would do taking care of business and then I'd go to the beer stand. I think that the broad strokes of it are that the gonzo of Muppet Babies is a completely different character than the grown up gonzo.
00:11:45
Speaker
Well, because he's a very jealous and very thirsty bitch. Well, in the Muppet baby, I was going to say that the the grown up gonzo is a sexual deviant. So you can't. But he's like a nobody's he's very into Miss Piggy. And I think that he is jealous of Kermit and tries to throw Kermit under the bus any chance he gets. Hmm.
00:12:10
Speaker
I remember he does have a pair of overalls with a chicken on the overalls. Indeed he does. That's kind of his like formative thing, like looking back. He looked at his own pants and said, I'd like to fuck that. Yeah, much in the same way. I'd like to get into my pants. A little boy might be playing underneath the kitchen table and see all of his aunts pantyhose.
00:12:35
Speaker
Pantyhose legs is just like awakened something in their brain. And then that's what they're into. Gonzo saw his own little chicken overalls and was like, I want to fuck a chicken. And if Gonzo got into Pantyhose, it would probably be legs. Oh, yeah. And legs, legs, brain. Yeah. L apostrophe eggs because of a chicken lays eggs.
00:13:01
Speaker
All right, do you got an idea for a podcast?
Revisiting the Year 2000
00:13:04
Speaker
Yeah, I do. This one is called Alternatively, because I'm not sure which is better. Podcast 2000 or. Let's podcast like it's 1999. OK. And it has to be podcast. I'm very anti potty.
00:13:29
Speaker
using that pun. Oh. Party turning into podcast like it's 1999. Yeah, that's that's what was the original title. I was like, people are going to want to call it potty like it's 1999. And I can't have that. So podcast 2000, it'll have to be.
00:13:51
Speaker
Like it's 1999. But in general, this is just a cultural review of whichever one of those two years we choose. Okay.
00:14:02
Speaker
And perhaps we can pretend like we are Muppet babies in that that air. That would be. Now, you do recall that we did this idea before. We did. Yes, we did one called It's a Millennium Party, bro. And it was a whole a whole podcast as if it were. It's the same recording. Yeah, that's right. 2000. OK, well, then that's why this is podcast 2000. OK, it's just the following year.
00:14:32
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. We're like, did you hear they're making a third Mission Impossible movie? And I think that's better anyway, because what a strange year that was where 12 straight months of people constantly referring to the fact that it's the millennium. It's the millennium. Which meant nothing. It did. It meant something to me, damn it.
00:14:59
Speaker
But I think that it's this this is just a. It's recent cultural archaeology, but I'd like to get in there and just see exactly what was going on in that year. I mean, that's also the last pre 9-11 year. So it feels different. The year 2000 hits different. And it really that is true. And then we didn't really explore much.
00:15:27
Speaker
in that now. That was that was it was more Muppet babies. We were playing a little sandbox of imagination as if we were at a party. Yeah, this one we're going to we're going to buckle down and investigate the year 2000.
00:15:46
Speaker
Oh, man. Oh, I did think I was really worried that I'd done it before. And I was not like I thought about that. I'm like, no, it's that's completely different. Just thinking about the year 2000, I'm like hearing the the Huey helicopters and the CCR fate faintly in the background of my mind. Like, oh, yeah. What do you think Forrest Gump would have been doing for his. Wait, what year did Forrest Gump come out?
00:16:16
Speaker
1994. There was a sequel to Forrest Gump, right? Yes. Gump and Company. The book. He meets Tom Hanks in the book. He goes to space with a monkey and he meets Tom Hanks. Now, the monkey thing is in the original book. Yeah. Boy, what a what a good movie. It's one of those ones that the author was like, well, I guess I have to cash in on this.
00:16:46
Speaker
It's a big hit. It's like that. And I think that the Roger Rabbit book also got a unloved sequel that was just a cash in on the movie success. Man, we should. If we do podcast 2000.
00:17:08
Speaker
we should maybe put in some sort of perspective on what we think Forrest Gump would be doing, right? If we do the Muppet Babies one, I think that we should have a baby Forrest Gump in there.
Podcast Universes and Pulitzer Prize Reviews
00:17:25
Speaker
Okay, all right. You know what, in 2000, what Forrest Gump is doing, he's in Florida and he's working at a
00:17:35
Speaker
school that trains pilots. That's definitely one of the things. Then I got a job teaching these fellows how to fly a plane. I never heard back from them. They seem nice though. Man, we are, we are really in our own metaverse here because
00:18:05
Speaker
My second idea this week is called extended podcast universe. Oh, okay. And this was the idea here is that we inject ourselves into somebody else's podcast universe. We become ant man in the wasp to Mark Marin. So we would just, we'd make a podcast where we are Mark Marin's neighbor, you know, cause he famously records in his garage.
00:18:33
Speaker
And then we were coming from our basement and Mark Marin is next door. And we're like, we see this guy's got Barack Obama. Maybe we pipe in like just a faint sound of Mark Marin next door. Yeah. Asking, you know, Dax Shepard, who his guys are. Do like a knock, knock, like, oh, hello, neighbor. We brought brownies over for you.
00:18:57
Speaker
What's going on in here? We can reveal that we poisoned Boomer. That's where he went. This cat kept coming in our yard. I put a big I put a big thing of rat poison out. That took care of it. So we're just going to like Rashomon everything that's happened to Mark Maron over the course of his podcast and do a we become Mark Maron's Mark Maron's little forest gumps.
00:19:25
Speaker
Like we were there in the background as all of the things were happening in his life. Okay. Kind of like a what's.
00:19:36
Speaker
I'm trying to think of the, the example of the, like, you know, like the classic, like children's character that was there at the moments of history kind of thing. I'm trying to think of it. There was like, there's a Bible version of this that I think of the super book, which was a anime in the 1980s about children who go back in time and witness all of the events of the Bible. But I know that there's like a secular version of this.
00:20:07
Speaker
for American history as well. Kind of a Mr. Peabody and Sherman. Is that what I'm thinking of? Well, I mean, that's a cartoon. And that doesn't so much that was that would have like a light comedic touch and not be like, we're going to explain to you this tragedy. Well, I mean, it wouldn't all be tragedies.
00:20:34
Speaker
Mark Barrett had a very nice interview with Barack Obama. Mm hmm. But maybe where maybe we we explained that it was our fault that uh Gallagher walked off and didn't finish the interview. Wow. I just did a Google search for children's book about historical events. Uh huh. And. Did you get the one about the dog that was at nine eleven?
00:21:04
Speaker
Not yet. Most of these look like really sad. I've got who will make the pancakes. Oh, no. Why Johnny doesn't flap. The little Republican. What? Is that Ben Shapiro? The night dad went to jail.
00:21:34
Speaker
OK. Well, that's not what I was saying. Yeah. But I would like to do a book called The Little Republican. Maybe he's mad about the big government, but he just means like that the president is.
00:21:54
Speaker
so big that he nearly stepped on him. Hey, Mr. President, down here. Watch where you're going. Don't tread on me. We've got Billy Party dressed up like he's Ben Shapiro. He's like, yeah, get out of my way, President.
00:22:19
Speaker
That's that's the extended podcast universe starring the late great Billy Barty. We're bringing it back. Yeah, we're using AI to reanimate Billy Barty and we're going to make him play Ben Shapiro.
00:22:41
Speaker
And we'll get Elvira to play his sister. It'll just be a plot. Actually, can she play Nanny? You got another idea? Well, sure. This one is called
00:23:07
Speaker
The Pulitzer Wurlitzer. Oh my. Yeah. And this is just I believe it was a couple of weeks ago. The Pulitzer Prizes were awarded and this is just us taking our
00:23:27
Speaker
dipper and dipping it real deep in there. And we're going to sample all of the arts that won the Pulitzer. And if doing the 2023 Pulitzer is a hit, then we then we go back and pick a different year. And because we're a true honest to goodness, scouts honor,
00:23:52
Speaker
cultural, critical podcast, we're allowed to sample these wares. We're allowed to get a little taste. We're allowed to put a little bit out there, you know. Maybe a few choice bits.
00:24:06
Speaker
And, uh, then, then we can, uh, do, do a podcast that, uh, makes us sound like, uh, Pulitzer prize winners. Yeah. But we just, uh, and, and, and maybe, maybe then they start giving Pulitzer prizes out for podcasts or maybe they already do. And I don't know about it and I'm mad. Yeah. I'll be honest. I'm not up to date with my Pulitzer knowledge. I think that they probably do give them to podcasts now, right?
00:24:32
Speaker
Well, they let Barack Hussein Obama have a podcast. It feels like they gave him a Nobel prize. That's that's even a bigger deal than a Pulitzer. I know. He didn't even have a podcast yet. He's like us and he got a Nobel like us. Yeah. And you know what? I don't know. I can't say for certain. For both of us, but speaking just for my personal
00:25:00
Speaker
No drone strikes. Have never striked anyone with a drone. Well, technically that's not true. I didn't strike a tree with a drone. I've been struck by the drone. The drone was the loser in that drone strike. It was tree one, drone zero. The problem with drones is
00:25:21
Speaker
They're too fun to play with in the house. And the most fun thing you can do with one is turn your friend into a King Kong or a Godzilla like character. That's true. And what are you going to do? You know, I got to strike that drone, slap it out of the air. Oh, you did. Yeah. And then then then your friend gets mad and says, like, I spent X number of dollars on that. And you're like, I don't care. You blew it towards my face. Yeah.
00:25:47
Speaker
They were like, in his own land, he is a king, but today, he appears before you in chains. Fear my magic axe. Andrew A.J. Estes. Now I'm just going to climb up real high up here and be a wolf. Climb up on the building and swings at the drone.
00:26:06
Speaker
It brought my Billy Barty with me. Pretty little Billy Barty. I'm going to pet his hair. He's like peeking out of your pocket. You see, that's what the liberals want. That's what they want. Somewhere I have one of those little tiny bitty drones, one of the little tiny like postage stamp drones with a little camera on it. I should get that thing out and fuck around with it because I know that that one isn't like
00:26:38
Speaker
Not like the fancy ones that you can't fly because my house is too close to the airport. That little bitty guy, we could fly, we could fly him right up into the jet engine of a plane. That man, he flew his drone right into the jet engine of a plane. He was just trying to do something funny with his friend, but
00:27:05
Speaker
They say he stopped that plane from hitting the tower. Has anyone made that argument that if they deregulate airspace for drones to fuck around that perhaps we could stop the next 9 11 from happening? Hey, if I were allowed to just open up the windows, skyscrapers throw beer cans out.
00:27:30
Speaker
Well, that might stop a drone. That's a non-zero possibility that I could stop the next 9-11 if I were allowed to throw beer cans at planes. The police are like, look, no one said you weren't allowed to do that. We're here because you've been stealing your neighbor's mail. Yeah. Well, I'm going to throw my beer cans at you. How do you think about that?
00:27:58
Speaker
Well, we welcome it. You see, you and all your compatriots just try to shoot us with your many, many guns. Then I reach in my pocket and they shoot me dead. Then after I'm dead, they find I was just trying to get my little Billy Barty dress like Ben Shapiro out of my pocket.
00:28:26
Speaker
Billy, Billy, go gal. All right. Well, let's, let's go to the pod Tron folks.
AI Innovations in Podcasting
00:28:39
Speaker
The pod Tron 4,500 is an artificial intelligence and we trained it by giving it a list of the top podcasts in the world. And then it synthesizes a list of new podcasts.
00:28:55
Speaker
that it thinks could be hits podcast like. The mop star. Oh, the mop star. Yeah, this is mop star is all one word. Yep. So this is this I'm guessing this is just a podcast about. You know, cleaning tips. How to become the. The all star in the janitor closet, so to speak.
00:29:26
Speaker
Hey now, you're a mop star. Get your mop on. Go mop. That's right. Mop mouth. And all that glitters is floors. Only shooting stars, mop the floors. That's right. It's a hit. I can see it already. Our name in lights.
00:29:56
Speaker
on the big marquee. I don't know, I think that, I think that the. Oh, I forgot we have a. There's a second artificial intelligence. We've got a second AI here. It's the cat feeder that plays a recording of my wife calling for the cats to come get their food because otherwise they wouldn't do it. And there is a cat in the vicinity.
00:30:26
Speaker
What's he doing? I don't think he trusts me. I'm not supposed to be here. Oh, maybe if I make a move at his food, you're going to get scratched up. Yeah. I'm assuming that there's a uniform amount of food in each bowl, but one looks like it got more than the other. I mean, it does. It splits it between two bowls and sometimes it's not exact, but cats can tell, can they?
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah, they cats can count. Oh, no. Kitty count. Well, at least there's no blood on my hands because a robot served it to them. They aren't going to. But the but about the mop star. Oh, oh, yeah. Sorry, I got distracted. I'm just I'm just thinking about this. This is. This is a podcast about mopping.
00:31:22
Speaker
It is, and we're probably going to have segments of basic, just tips on how to keep a clean kitchen, keep a clean bathroom, but also to become a true mop star, I think we might have to talk about new programs for the mop capades, perhaps? Yeah. In the words of Cypress Hills, so you want to be a mop superstar and live large.
00:31:54
Speaker
coming up in the world, can't trust nobody, gotta look over your shoulder constantly. I will say I own two different mops. I'm sorry, three. Oh, you got me beat. I was going to say big deal. I've got two mops.
00:32:11
Speaker
I have the mop with the sponge where it has the two little ringy guys squish it out. And then I've got the mop that has the long hair and you put the slide the thing down over it and twist. I've got those two. Those are the two I have. But then I also got the steam shark. Holy crew.
00:32:38
Speaker
I bought the wrong mops, everybody. Like, what is that? It you fill it up with water and then or you can buy expensive bottles of scented water. Oh, that was going to be my next suggestion. You're always shoving your mop into dirty, filthy, stinky things. Why don't you treat your mop when it's not doing its duty and put it in something that smells really nice? Like a Chanel number five mop.
00:33:08
Speaker
Well, I was thinking just more like I love the smell of hot chocolate. Hot cocoa mop. Yeah, that could that could work. I would I would like for my floors to smell like hot cocoa.
00:33:23
Speaker
Where do you eliminate? Just all the drinks that I like, apparently. The steam mop, you fill it up with distilled water and then it shoots steam out of the bottom and it has a little pad that you put over top of it and you just... Like a steam wand for getting wrinkles out of your shirt, but for the floor. And you can't use it on hardwood. Okay, well then I don't really need one because...
00:33:53
Speaker
Most of my apartment is hardwood. You can use it on hardwood, but then you have to strategically put a box over the spot where you fucked up the floor when your landlord comes to take a look to give you back your security deposit. Hey, there there will be no security deposit returned to me. I'm just hoping that litigation is. Yeah. At this point, you're just trying to outlive your landlord.
00:34:22
Speaker
The mop star. This is kind of also like mobster, but with mop and star. And what if that's what it, what if it's a mobster who is so good at mopping that it becomes a star? Yeah, they call them a cleaner, you know? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. That's not your food. You get out of there. Well, now that one definitely has less in it.
00:34:53
Speaker
We see you. We saw what you did. Flink on out of here. The mob star. And we get. Well, who's left? We've lost. We've lost Mr. Soprano. Oh, yeah. Well, we've lost. Orson Welles. Wait, no, he didn't play the Godfather.
00:35:22
Speaker
No, no, no, the other Marlon Brando and Brando, but he's dead, too. You know, we've we've we've still got De Niro, Pacino, Pacino. Just about everybody else who was on the Sopranos. Yeah. Big pussy. We get him in there. He could sell the mob star. Mr. Joseph Mantegna. Joseph Mantegna.
00:35:52
Speaker
We're very pleased to present, uh... Spanish for Joseph Butter. Mm-hmm.
00:36:06
Speaker
And he's like, hey, it's me. I love the mop floors. And this is I'm thinking about some brand synergy. Yeah. This is a hour long prestige drama. The mob star. About a mobster who mops so well and he becomes a star. But then it's brought to you by Libman Mops. Yeah, yeah.
00:36:32
Speaker
And people are like, oh, I want to get that mop like he's got in the same way that they were about the Cadillac car that they drive on the Sopranos. He opens his duster up and then all of a sudden you realize he is like a four headed mop. Yeah. And he pulls it out and everything is getting mopped all at once. Says hello to my.
00:36:55
Speaker
little mop friend, but you're like, that's a large mop friend. Women are just throwing themselves at him on the show. Well, it's good because they're all so wet he can mop up their sexual moisture. I hate this show now.
00:37:25
Speaker
All right. I got, I got one here.
Modern Gaming and Home Ownership
00:37:27
Speaker
This is called mortgage in the time of video games. Okay. What's that? Well, it's, it's, I feel like it's built on the, uh, basic structure of love at the time of cholera. Thank you. I couldn't remember what the disease was.
00:37:51
Speaker
They should have in the time of ADHD. I mean, that pretty much is mortgage in the time of video games, right? Mortgage in the time of video games would be a podcast exploring the concept of owning your own home or property in our current hellish world.
00:38:22
Speaker
It'd be a podcast where we talk to people who are trying to own a home, trying to get out of renting an apartment or whatever, a condo, but in the time of video games where maybe one week we can talk to somebody who is just like literally
00:38:46
Speaker
Renting imaginary real estate in a video game, which is a thing now. They also have like those dumb like NFT real estate things where it's like, Oh yeah, you can own this property in the virtual world. I know there's some second life still around is that the servers are still up.
00:39:10
Speaker
I think so, but it's been a few years since I checked on it. We could get into Second Life and we could go talk maybe
00:39:19
Speaker
Maybe, maybe we do a Twitch stream where we go house shopping on second. Yeah, and then once we buy a place, it can just play our podcast all the time and then people can come and visit it and listen to the podcast. We set up a virtual studio.
00:39:43
Speaker
Within Second Life. And then we're just our little avatars are in there recording the podcast. And everybody can buy like a little Billy Barty to carry around on their avatar. This is what the feminists want. They want me in their pocket. Mortgage in the time of video games was the title of that idea. Yeah.
00:40:06
Speaker
I feel like, I mean, video games is just kind of a catch all for. Not everybody had cholera in that book. Yeah, there were cholera cholera less people. Yeah. But everybody was aware of cholera. Cholera was shaping a lot of coloring their world. Yeah. Much like a little Italian plumber colors out.
00:40:41
Speaker
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Mortgage in the time of video. Do you have another idea? I do.
Monstrous Summer Camp Podcast
00:40:50
Speaker
I do. This one is. I've almost chosen this one from from the patrons list many times, and it keeps putting it back out there. And I love this idea so much. It's Camp Monsterson.
00:41:07
Speaker
OK, so I you've brought up the Muppet babies. I think that the ideal form of Camp Monsterson is a cartoon television series. But maybe we could have the the first podcast that gets turned into a cartoon series that is narrative driven and not just animating the bits that we've already talked on the podcast.
00:41:36
Speaker
Camp Monsterson is. Yeah, is that like a did they do a summer camp cartoon show where all of the Universal Monsters attended? Well, I think there was a weird goth Barbie doll thing. Yeah, there's Monster High. Yeah, that's not this. This is a camp. This is a summer camp. And honestly, it could be a it could be I could see this as
00:42:06
Speaker
big screen in theaters, in select theaters, or we could pitch this to Netflix or peacock as like an eight episode series with the option for another season. If the, if the ratings are good, this is the children of the universal monsters. Okay. So I guess this would be not peacock, right? It would be universal.
00:42:36
Speaker
Who owns? Wait, is that peacock? Might be. I think Universal is Disney now. Are you fucking serious? That was the I think that that was the one that sent me over the edge where I'm like, Oh, they live in the end times. They live in the end times. They got Dracula now. God damn it. Well, I guess if we have to, we'll work with the House of Mouse. The idea is that this is a.
00:43:04
Speaker
10 part. No, well, no, no, fuck that. That's the great thing about the universal monsters is they all have, uh, Disney doesn't own those books. We just can't make them look exactly like the universal version. Okay. So we need to come up with like how we want to characterize those universal monsters.
00:43:25
Speaker
Well, this is I guess Wolfman wears a bow tie. Well, this is I was going to say this this still works fine for what we're doing, because the idea is that these are not the monsters. These are the children of the monsters at a summer camp. And if we had sure that Frankenstein's dick works. Yeah, well.
00:43:45
Speaker
Maybe we explain that differently. You know, test tubes is a kid comes out of the bride of Frankenstein, who I'm not sure that her ovaries work, but yeah, yeah, it's a real hairy son of Frankenstein looks a lot like bride of Frankenstein's yoga instructor. Yeah, it's it will get it all sorted out, but this is a summer camp for monster children.
00:44:10
Speaker
And we'll also have a lot of people saying, like, why is it not called Camp Monster Daughter? I'm here to. But we will. We'll have Daughter of Frankenstein there. We'll have Wolf Girl, Draculina, the Invisible Girl. We all feel like invisible girls. Yeah, that's perfect. Perfect episode three. Sometimes I feel like I'm invisible.
00:44:41
Speaker
And then the invisible girls like, that's my thing. Back the fuck up. Well, the, the, the littlest mummy, uh, mysteriously drowned in the lake after saying that sometimes he felt invisible, but we don't know who did it. Who, who committed this crime of jealousy camp monsters and man, that's a good one. And there's like,
00:45:13
Speaker
There's another camp across the lake that's like the camp where all of the like Greek gods kids. Okay, I was going to go with aliens. Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, actually, maybe we can have a pentagram around the lake. There are five different camps.
00:45:35
Speaker
Okay, so we got the camp for monsters, children. We have the camp for children of aliens. The God camp. The mythical camp. We still need two more.
00:45:50
Speaker
superhero kids probably superhero kids and then maybe just nerds we have like a nerd regular camp
00:46:06
Speaker
This is the theater camp. We're doing the Westworld thing. The first season is all it can't melt monsters, and then we're going to blow the back of your skull out and be like, guess what? There's a samurai kid camp. How do you like me now?
00:46:33
Speaker
All right. Well, that's camp monsters. And I got one more from the pod
Beer, Flatulence, and Buddy Cops
00:46:38
Speaker
Tron. Okay. This is a podcast called free beer and hot wind. I mean, honestly, I'm a purveyor of both. I mean, I'm a, I'm a customer of both. I get, well, I don't buy hot wind. I guess I, I'm a,
00:47:03
Speaker
consumer of free beer and a producer of hot wind. I don't know, I buy a lot of close out beer and then it leads one to giving people that beer for free, but then also I produce a lot of hot wind. Hot wind. In more ways than one. Yeah.
00:47:30
Speaker
I like this is kind of like an East meets West type thing. It sounds like free beer that like this is a buddy cop movie. Yeah. Like what's the one with Jay Leno and Pat Morita? Free beer and hot wind. Yeah. I completely forgot that existed and I cannot remember, but I was wondering why they never paired Jackie Chan up with a fat guy. Yeah.
00:48:01
Speaker
Well, I guess because he was too big of a star to ever guest on Marshall law. If you don't recall Marshall law, I do. That was the, well, no, I was saying, I was saying it for the, for the youngsters listening at home, Marshall law. There was a time, uh, in the late nineties when CBS network, uh, had a string of minor hits where they just kept
00:48:30
Speaker
making action cop TV shows. Did it start with Walker, Texas Ranger? Walker, Texas Ranger. Then we got Nash Bridges. Nash Bridges, which starred the star of Miami Vice and Cheech from Cheech and Chong.
00:48:52
Speaker
And then they made a show called Martial Law, which existed in the same universe. And sometimes he would team up with Nash Bridges. But that was Kung Fu veteran Sammo Hung as a... Who was the original fat guy that they paired with with Jackie Chan. Karate guy. Yeah, in what, Project A? Is that the Sammo Hung Jackie Chan movie? That sounds right. I think that's right.
00:49:23
Speaker
but it was, yeah, could you believe this fat Chinese guy knows karate and he's a cop in San Francisco? Then it was just that, but yeah, I think free beer and hot wind, it sounds a lot like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, but where maybe we have,
00:49:47
Speaker
Maybe maybe it could be in like the like a cowboy. It's kind of like a dust bowl. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Maybe. Yeah. So this takes place. So like the beer being free hasn't even added import to it. He's like Robin Hood for beer. Yeah. Free beer. And he's a he's a guy. He's like a bootlegger. He steals from the robber barons. Hot air balloon.
00:50:13
Speaker
Oh, I was going to say hot wind was another guy who had a farting power. All right. Well, maybe they team up like a hot air balloon doesn't have like a method of propulsion. Yeah. Unless you've got a guy whose name is out of wind. Hot wind. And he's a. And that's that's an Anglicization of like.
00:50:34
Speaker
He has to have some kind of a name that sounds like hot wind in Chinese or whatever, but he's like a guy who could fart on command and him and Free Bear, they travel around the Dust Bowl in a hot air balloon. They come to a town like the A-Team, they come to a town and then there's like,
00:50:54
Speaker
some kind of a desperados have taken over and free beer and hot wind show up and they and I'm thinking Owen Wilson for free beer. I know that he's already did like the Shanghai noon movies, but maybe we get them back together. Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson back together again and free beer and hot wind. Jackie Chan, he's getting up an age. He doesn't want to, you know, do dangerous stunts anymore, but maybe fart humor.
00:51:22
Speaker
Yeah. There's a lot you can do with that. And he was always a funny guy. Now he's just farting instead of doing karate. Yeah. He did those drunken master movies. Those are great. Yeah. A lot of burping in those. He could just fart instead. The farting master. Yeah.
00:51:43
Speaker
That's what we'll call, we'll call a drunken master farting master and release it in China, which is a big thing now. Like for Disney, they want to release all their movies in China. We've got Jackie Chan here. He's farting. I don't know how the, uh, people's Republic feels about farting and movies know that they at least historically had a problem with things like time travel and magic. Maybe we have to.
00:52:12
Speaker
We'll just like make it all very like eat ridiculous things. It's science. It's science. That's the thing. We'll be like this scientific. There's no magic involved here. And and then that is a backdoor for we can we can start introducing like Superman to China. And we'll just whenever Superman is about to fly, we just dub in like. Then he launches into the air.
00:52:42
Speaker
Chinese audience goes crazy. We believe a man could fly. Oh man. I'm just thinking about how that would feel. To far so hard that you fly like Superman. Where you're actually flying, but you're like,
00:53:02
Speaker
I'm going to have to have surgery on my hands. Oh, yeah. No, my my intestines would turn inside out. They just come trailing out of me like a like a goldfish. That's your tether. Like like I'm down there on the ground holding onto your intestines being like, you're going to fly away, Nate.
00:53:23
Speaker
The air was traveling out of the intestine still. You're hanging on to it, but it's like a fire hose whipping you around. You have to put it between my legs like I'm riding a horse and I'm moving around like Spanky in a little rascal short.
Recap and Patreon Invitation
00:53:46
Speaker
All right, here's what we got this week.
00:53:51
Speaker
Our options are we don't have a podcast yet, babies podcast, 2000, the extended podcast universe, the Pulitzer Wurlitzer, the mop star mortgage in the time of video games.
00:54:12
Speaker
monsters in or free beer and hot wind. We've written ourselves into a corner. I don't like this. This is terrible. This is a bad crop. It feels like we got a whole bunch of non IP IP. Yeah, we've got nothing we can work with here. This is oh boy. I feel like we
00:54:42
Speaker
We could do. We could do the extended podcast universe pretty easily. And the Pulitzer Wurlitzer because those are both one of them is just. Kind of riffing on being in another podcasts. Orbit and the other one is just us looking up things that have won the Pulitzer Prize. I guess podcast 2000 also.
00:55:13
Speaker
That's honestly probably the easiest one, but I'm kind of, I'm looking up the Pulitzer Prize winners of this year to see if I've heard of any of them. And it's the Zack Snyder's Justice League. Oh yeah, there's so many of them.
00:55:42
Speaker
Not that I've heard of them, but... I know all these guys. Yeah, I could do that. Or I could do the podcast 2000. And I think just that inevitably everything turns into the extended universe. Yeah, that is true. Yeah, let's do the Pulitzer Wurlitzer. Are you sure?
00:56:13
Speaker
We could do it starting with the year 2000 and hedge our bets a little bit. Yeah, let's do Pulitzer, Wurlitzer 2000. OK. So we'll take the two ideas, two great tastes that go great together. The Pulitzer, Wurlitzer, and the Podcast 2000. And we're doing a podcast that is about Pulitzer Prize winners.
00:56:41
Speaker
Around the year 2000 and then we can work our way out from there if this is the one if this is the one. Yeah All right, well folks if you want to hear the Pulitzer world sir or any other number of podcasts that we've attempted and
00:57:03
Speaker
You can head to patreon.com slash we don't have a podcast yet. If you love the show that isn't a show, you like the show that is a show even more. Sign up to support us over at Patreon and you'll get access to the vault where we keep over a hundred and fifty episodes of a podcast that did not make the cut. All of them. Dynamite, not a single stinker in the bunch.
00:57:33
Speaker
Also, like I said, if you're mad at us, you can go say something about it on iTunes, write a bad review, say this motherfucker keeps talking about his new computer. No one cares. Yeah. And if you're mad at us, you can like break one of your fingers because I hate the side of a broken figure. You can show me that picture. You listen and I hate titties, so you can send us pictures of titties.
00:58:01
Speaker
Thank you for listening. I'm Nathan P. Woodard. I'm Andrew James Estes. Good night.
00:58:29
Speaker
You could have done something, but you didn't try. You didn't do nothing. You let it walk by.