Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Bi Men Unfiltered, a podcast for today's curious and bisexual man hosted by older, wiser bisexual men who were also once curious. From identity and relationships to dating, sex, community, and everything in between, nothing's off the table. Honest, authentic, and we're not afraid to get a little and NSFW or more than a little. No shame, no stereotypes, just real conversations.
Speaker: On this week's episode, we are talking about jack-off clubs, the mysterious groups around the country where men get together and do what's natural.
Speaker: What? guess Yeah. What? ah Such things exist? I am shocked. I know. Shocked, I say. Me too.
Speaker: Shocked that such a thing has existed for a a very long time, actually, and... uh it it took a while for me to even grasp onto the concept and hear about it and then investigate and we'll we'll talk all about that uh during this episode so stay tuned for that that is what we call in the business a tease tease as if the title of this episode wasn't already a tease in and of itself right
Speaker: Yes. And don't worry, guys, if you want to skip straight to it, there's chapter markers in the episode. You can do that if you will want. And then come back to the beginning and get to the good stuff first, if you like.
Speaker: But I wanted to check in, see what we've been up to, if there's been any updates. I've got a little something to share.
Speaker: oh pardon me. and Let's get my popcorn. ah All right. Well, hit me. So right after my divorce was all finalized, I ah had been chatting with a guy on Scruff. And actually, we chatted together on a few different apps. Because as it turns out, when somebody is on an app that's like nearby you, you end up seeing their profile a lot in apps. So We had chatted some and this guy was like a one word answer kind of guy. i don't know if you've had that no experience in any of the apps. It was just like, I didn't feel like I was getting anything from him, ye but he was really hot, like really my type.
Speaker: And so i kept chatting with him, even though it was often one word answers. Yeah. So this kind of developed over a few months.
Speaker: He got comfortable enough where when I said, hey, I can come over that he was like, okay, come on over. And so I did. And what ended up happening was we had ah a friends with benefits thing going for about a year, a little over a year.
Speaker: where it would either be through scruff or sniffies. Like he would message me and i knew that it was on for that day. Like should set aside some time to get together. And luckily this guy lives very close to where I am. So that made it even easier.
Speaker: Unfortunately, he had like a medical issue earlier this year, a couple months ago, and we had to stop seeing each other. And that was a bit crushing for me because we had been like almost a weekly basis for like a year.
Speaker: And after that long with somebody, even if it started as a hookup, which it did with us, You develop into a sort of emotional rhythm, like there's a connection there that builds, even if it was at one time, just a hookup and just physical. and yeah That's all it was.
Speaker: So i was I was sad about that ending. i was you know concerned for him, for his health, obviously, and but also sad that it ended. and But I understood that it had to end. Your health is the most important thing. If that's you know an issue, then you know go solve that.
Speaker: Don't worry about me. And so I ran into him at the grocery store. Oh yeah. Uh, and we, we had, like I had texted him. Was it a fun aisle?
Speaker: No, no. Okay. It wasn't, it wasn't both of us reaching for the lube or anything like that. Like some kind of scene or grapefruits or bananas. There you go. Bananas is probably better in this context. Um, whipped cream or,
Speaker: ah Coconut oil or anything like that. Chocolate sauce. ah Now I'm hungry. He told me kind of what was going on with him and we had, we had not spoken for a little while. And, um you know, I understood that he said, yeah I probably wouldn't hear from him for a while.
Speaker: Totally fine again. and so in the last week I have heard from him again. And so this friend with benefits that was going on for, you know, a year,
Speaker: And was very good. A very reliable friends with benefits situation, which if you find it, it's so hard to find anyway. Like you you want to hold on to that. So we started chatting again and we haven't met up yet, but I think that'll be back on the table at some point soon. So very happy about that.
Speaker: Yeah. Very, very happy. So that's kind of like where, what I've been up to. And I know like last episode, I teased a spanking party thing that hasn't happened yet as we're recording this episode. So, so people who are like holding on, like hoping for an update about the spanking party from last episode, you will get your update, but it won't be this week or next week. It'll be like the week following. So yeah. So stay tuned for episode nine and then you'll get your update on how the spanking party went. I'm still curious how that's going to go. I have no idea.
Speaker: We'll find out. So we will continue teasing out for the future. The spanking party. Yes. but is is oh this This should become like our our Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel thing.
Speaker: Oh, sorry, the spanking party got got postponed by a week, but tune in Yeah, don't worry. it'll That'll be in episode nine, and then episode nine comes. Oh, you know, stay tuned.
Speaker: There'll be more details. We ran out of time to talk about the spanking party. but On the spanking party. Yes, yes, yes. So, ah so that yeah, that's kind of what I've been up to. do you have any updates to share, Grayson?
Speaker: yeah Not really. Just... um you know the The guy that I met up with ah not too long ago that I promised not to turn into an episode of the show ah reached out this week, and we've been trying to coordinate the schedule this week. And the...
Speaker: the i we keep saying that my wife is awesome and she is. I, I texted her and I like, Hey, you know, um, you know, guy I met up with a few weeks ago, is, is, you know, has reached out and is talking to me about, you know, meeting up again this week. And she just replied to me by sending a gif of Blanche from the golden girls that said tramp at the bottom.
Speaker: I love that. I love that. Other than that, it it's it's busy season at real work. so So you haven't focused on play? yeah Yeah. Everything is pretty much you like all hands on deck, you know full speed ahead, mix some more metaphors in there. Yep.
Speaker: And it's not all hands on Dick, right? Which is our main topic. Again, a tease for our main topic. Yes. And it, it doesn't help that even though it is always our busy time of year, one of my, my colleagues that I back up and he backs me up and stuff like that at work in our leadership team,
Speaker: um Yeah, his wife is due to give birth here in the next you know four weeks or so. It's like, you have a calendar.
Speaker: You know how to do math. You did this on purpose so that you could get out of the busy season for a couple of weeks. yeah And he didn't tell us until like two weeks ago.
Speaker: Oh my God, that's the worst. Wow. it is He's like, oh, by the way, I won't be able to go to that conference in October. ah Wow. so So that will be me instead.
Speaker: I Well, I want to throw it out to our listeners. What have you all been up to Be sure to share that with us either on social media or by emailing podcast at by men unfiltered.com. We want to hear what you have gotten up to Have you been to a spanking party? Have you been to any jack off clubs? What are you, what have you been up to? What do you, what would you like to share?
Speaker: with ah the rest of our listeners. We'd love to hear it. Yes, we absolutely would. Send it to us. Give, give, give, give, give. give give give give give Yeah. I think it's time for the word of the week.
Speaker: Yes. and i'm I'm not, I'm trying to resist going word of the week this time. And I just did. You just did it. Yeah, I did. So I can edit it. Like you plan to do that all along.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: The word of the week this week is frot or frotting. Are you familiar with this this word, Grayson?
Speaker: I am intimately familiar with this word. Okay. It's slang for frotage that... is French for to rub, but it is a practice that usually involves direct penis to penis contact, basically rubbing them together. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: You've heard of sword fighting? i mean, it's not really sword fighting you're rubbing them together, and but it's a fun practice. You get some yes lube and you rub them together and shake it all around and you do the hokey pokey.
Speaker: That's what it's all about. It's good time. For all. Pretty much. Yes. And this is something that you can experience a lot in Jackoff Club events ah or just a one-on-one type of event, too. It can be very pleasurable to rub penises together, especially the head of your penis against another head.
Speaker: it's It's very good. Yes. Yes, it is. And in fact, there is a company called Cockblock Toys.
Speaker: will link to this in the show notes. They make ah two types of toy. It's basically like a frotting sleeve.
Speaker: So that it's a sleeve that has two holes and you and your partner can both stick your dicks in there And they have one model that is made to be sort of used on your back as if you you're in the missionary type position.
Speaker: And then they have one called the stroker, which is meant to be handheld and manipulated while you are together. And I do have one of these toys.
Speaker: Nice. I have not been able to use it yet because I got it right when that friends with benefits that I was just mentioning ah went and had his medical issue. So,
Speaker: I have not gotten to try it yet, but I'm very excited that I will possibly be able to try this at some point. But yeah, it's a pretty unique toy.
Speaker: Yeah, all of my sleeves are, well, I say are. Single user only? Yeah, I have them, but I... haven't used any of them in literal years.
Speaker: Yeah. The last one that my wife bought me is still unopened in the package. Oh, all right. All right.
Speaker: We will, ah we will be talking about toys more in an upcoming episode, but yeah, my, my first sleeve was a fleshlight. It's a kind of a very classic penis sleeve at this point.
Speaker: Yeah, and it looks like a big flashlight. Yeah. And ah it's ah it's nice to be able to like hide it from people who might find it since it looks like a flashlight. But you hope they don't pick it up expecting a flashlight and then...
Speaker: i getting what i it is I have never gottent i've never even been interested in a Fleshlight because they they look as has compact and easy to store and well designed and all as a 57 Buick.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that's, that's kind of true. And, you know, cleaning is usually no problem, but like keeping it dry was a bit of a, bit of a task. But anyway, we can talk more about them later on. We will, we will definitely talk about penis sleeves and dildos and prostate massagers and all kinds of toys in a future episode. So look forward to that.
Speaker: It's another tease. Tease. We are such teases. We are so we are teasing a lot tonight. But okay, we're going to stop the tease now. We're going to go right to our main topic.
Speaker: That is jack off clubs. Yes. So what Jack off clubs and how did you Grayson first find out about them?
Speaker: I am trying to remember. I think it was probably just like in, in an online chat or forum somewhere where I heard someone mentioned one.
Speaker: I say heard, saw someone mentioned one and, yeah, looked around. There was not one here in my area at the time, at least. And, uh, but looked up, you what the, the big one, of course, I probably almost probably specifically heard about New York checks.
Speaker: Yeah. And look them up. and it's like, this looks like incredibly organized. I, I am kind of impressed. Yeah. Yeah, I think New York Jax is the OG from there what I understand. Yeah, they appear to be, from everything that I have seen, they appear to be the template that most, if not all, others have followed.
Speaker: Right. To one degree or another. Indeed. I remember, i don't need I also heard about them on some forum. Maybe it was like a masturbation Usenet news group or something like that.
Speaker: Or maybe an IRC chat back that long ago. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking it was with me, too. Something along those lines. Yeah, I was in the Midwest at the time and heard about a club that was in Chicago. And this was sort of at a time where a lot of places didn't have websites or photos or information about what it was. so you'd see like the address and the dates of the events, but there was no information or like, uh,
Speaker: I couldn't find out like ah what happened, like what happens at this? Like if I go down, if I go down to the Chicago ah event, like what is going to happen? Like who's going to be there? How many people are going to be there? Is it going to be ah an okay area of town? Like,
Speaker: What should I expect? I don't know. So I just didn't go Am I going to go to this seedy dockside warehouse like you see in movies, walk in, and there's me and three other guys who then get hit over the head yeah and robbed? Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So I didn't even chance it I didn't even chance it when i lived in Chicago. It wasn't until I moved to San Francisco where I found there was a San Francisco jack-off club at the time and ended up going to that and had a blast. And I've talked about it in my story.
Speaker: A little bit. That was the first the first time that I kissed a guy was at a Jackoff Club event. And ah yeah, I think it's Jackoff Clubs are a pretty great place to explore as a buy guy. And... Yes.
Speaker: The reason is you don't have to deal with apps. You don't have to deal with flakes or ghosting or any of that. Now, you don't get...
Speaker: The kind of like chat or connection. So if you need that kind of thing, you're kind of out of luck. and a jackoff yeah but Not that you can't develop that over time. If you go to multiple events, you'll run into some of the same people, I'm sure.
Speaker: And you can develop a rapport with them. But it's a good place to... without worrying about anybody else. Like if you ghost, you are not upsetting anybody else. Like you're just not going to the event and it's kind of no harm, no foul. Nobody's hurt.
Speaker: You didn't waste anybody's time. so that's why I think they are a good place for by guys who are you know, exploring to kind of get their sea legs, so to speak. Yeah. I think the phrase that I used in my story was low impact, low impact.
Speaker: Yeah. a ah low impact way to, you know, first venture into those waters. Yeah. And see if you even like it. Like maybe you're not, maybe you find you're not into it.
Speaker: That could happen too. So maybe the fantasy is better than the reality. So how do you find a Jackoff club in your area?
Speaker: Well, New York Jacks has a website that lists out, I don't know how updated this list is. i think it's fairly old, but they list some of the more well-known clubs around the country in the U.S., yeah And they also list out some international clubs as well. Although it doesn't seem like there's an analogous sort of event in a lot of other countries aside from the U S. So from that list, I'm
Speaker: Then you can find if your area of the country is on that list, then you can kind of find out more about those clubs, what their rules are, when their events are, and kind of go from there. If you don't see your area on the list, you can always do a quick Google search for whatever major city you're near and then Jackoff Club and see if something comes up.
Speaker: That's a possibility as well. Mine, the one that I have been to is not listed on their site. I think I found it by, ah think what I searched for was my area masturbation group.
Speaker: Yeah. But just, you know, any any keywords along those lines should get you there. I mean, you could even start off with your area, Jax, to see what, what turns up.
Speaker: Yeah. Because sometimes it will, you know, we said that a lot of them seem to use New York Jax as a template in a lot of cases, that's even down to the name. That's true. Yeah.
Speaker: And I mean, it's understandable why, because it's it's a proven model. It's a proven model that gets the point point across. Absolutely. So I, as an example, I, so I've been to a few clubs. the The regular ones that I go to now are located in the Pacific Northwest. so there's two and Rain City Jacks is in Seattle and Stumptown Strokes is in Portland.
Speaker: And I've been to events at both of those places and ah had a great time. And we'll kind of talk you through what happens there. But I think, especially if you go to raincityjacks.org, their web website, they have a code of conduct to list that will tell you all about what a Jackoff Club is. It's a really nice sort of ah rule sheet, what you can expect and what to not expect.
Speaker: for your first visit. Most importantly is that it's jack off only. And this sort of rule of no lips below the hips and no pulls in holes is fairly standard amongst clubs around the country.
Speaker: Although sometimes some of those rules are relaxed for special events or at certain times. And it's adult men. And from the events that I've gone to, the age range varies quite widely, you know, from anyone in their twenty s to men in their it's a wide swath It absolutely is.
Speaker: Yeah, i've I've seen the same thing. And you also will see a wide variety of not just ages, but body types and everything. It is super welcoming and super inclusive.
Speaker: That's true. Yeah, I have not had a bad time at a club event. Although, you know, I've only been to a few, so I can't speak for all clubs. But ah just from my personal experience, it's been pretty good.
Speaker: Now, you may be wondering, man who has never gone to a jack-off club, do I have to be naked? And the rules on that kind of vary from club to club. But for Rain City Jacks, for instance, that full nudity is kind of the the going norm.
Speaker: And that's what you'll see at an event. Although a lot of people are wearing footwear. Some aren't, which is ah a choice. I made that mistake the first time.
Speaker: To not wear footwear? Yes. Yeah. I would suggest footwear. we Like shower shoes or even just regular shoes and socks. Yeah. ah But Rain City also allows one article of clothing if you feel more comfortable wearing a shirt or a hat or something. ah That's still allowed.
Speaker: And the other big thing is consent at these clubs. And it's all about asking the other person if you can touch them and them asking you if you, if they can touch you.
Speaker: And so oftentimes there will be a moment where, well, first of all, eye contact is big at these club events where,
Speaker: Where, you know, you meet, your eyes meet, and then one of you walks over to the other and asks the question, you know, can I touch? And then you kind of go from there.
Speaker: ahh And do you like your nipples touched or... Is it okay if I lean in for a kiss? That kind of thing. So, and at any point you can withdraw consent.
Speaker: That's another big thing. yeah Another big ah rule for these clubs. so you don't have to feel like you're being pressured to do something that you don't want to do. Yep. and that Consent at at the one here that I go to, it is, okay, there there's one type of event that touching is presumed, but i'll go over we'll we'll talk about that later because my mine is kind of an outlier. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. In terms of their structure. But yeah, they the owner makes a huge point of letting everybody know that consent is Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. And depending on what club, I know Rain City does this, they will do an orientation with newcomers. So if it's your first time, then they'll kind of sit you down with somebody who will go over the rules and explain everything.
Speaker: And at least at Rain City Jacks, they have wristbands. So a green wristband means all touching is okay. A red wristband is I don't want to be touched or ask first.
Speaker: And no wristband is just kind of a ask first, kind of go with the flow sort of deal. Depends on what your club is going to be. ye Set up as and the location for these vary.
Speaker: i have heard of some smaller clubs meeting at hotels and sometimes you'll have, you know, a sex club or bondage club where this will happen or in the case of rain city jacks uh gallery orado is the place where they meet it's like a sex positive art gallery space and so it really varies but usually the ones that i've been to the lights are down low there's some music playing sometimes some pornography playing usually of the masturbation variety
Speaker: And it's usually a very chill atmosphere. Yep. You know, i i was very nervous the first time i went to one of these events, but those nerves gave way ah to other things very quickly after arriving. So these events, there will be an admission usually. Yeah.
Speaker: There will be some kind of fee. So ah the ones that I've been to, yeah, it's sometimes you have to buy a ticket because maybe space is limited or ah you have to be a member and pay per event.
Speaker: Yep, the the one I go to, it's just and they have different kinds of events, and the cover slightly varies usually within about $5-$10 range.
Speaker: yeah But it's just you know pay at the door and in you go, which is part of their drama. Yeah. Sometimes there are lockers or available spaces to put your clothes. ah So check with your club's website or ask beforehand. You may need to bring a lock with you. Sometimes locks are provided and then, you know, go have fun.
Speaker: ah Yep. the The one I go to, i i asked beforehand because I was like, okay, do i do I need to leave shit in the car or right hidden in the car or what? And what this one has instead is they don't have lockers because...
Speaker: The space that it's in, the organizer also owns and runs a video production facility. Okay. And that's where it's all held.
Speaker: Hmm. So there's no place for actual lockers, but what they do is they have you know some of the wire metal shelving, and it's in the space. Hmm.
Speaker: it's in the space So you can keep an eye on your belongings. Oh, okay. Okay. The first one I went to had a coat check kind of deal where somebody actually like put your belongings, like you'd put it in a shopping bag, like a brown shopping bag and give it to them and they'd give you a number, like a ticket. it Where am I supposed to put the ticket though? Like in your footwear, like in your, eye guess, but what if I'm wearing sandals? Yeah.
Speaker: ah Find some other body cavity to put it or write the number on your wrist or something. ah That is kind of a slightly better idea than what they do, but they would have to have somebody actually manning it. That's true. Yeah.
Speaker: So I wanted to ask what a typical visit is like for you, Grayson. Okay, so here's where I'm going to go into the outlier structure of the one that I go to. Okay.
Speaker: um They have three different kinds of events that I've seen that they do. i have have i but Yes, I've been to at least one of each.
Speaker: um They have traditional jack-off meets. that they're two hours long. um The standard New York Jacks rules apply, but they jettison no lips below the hips halfway through.
Speaker: the The organizer will come in and say, okay, you know we are at the halfway mark. ah you It is okay to have lips below the hips, at which point where Everyone drops to their knees. and and Pretty much. Because a lot of them have spent the first hour you know vibing with people and with others and like, okay, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. I'm going to come back to you. Yeah. um Part of their setup is they have a rather large leather sectional couch that is never ah fully assembled. the different sections of it are just at different spots. I don't think they have a particular rhyme or reason for how they set them up because I've never seen the same setup twice, even for the same type of event.
Speaker: Um, it's just, you what, what are they feeling that day when they set it up? And at the jack off events, they also have, I want to say that there were, there are usually two like huge, like, you know I would say about waist high, they might be multiple stacked like air mattresses.
Speaker: Hmm. Okay. um kind of in the center. So, and, but other than that, you know, it's pretty much the same. You know, you walk in, usually it's, it's the owner at the desk greeting everybody, taking the cover. um You know, if he doesn't recognize you on site, he'll ask if it's your first time and he'll run down the rules. And here is also where they are something of an outlier. I've never seen another group that does this. They organize all of the events on meetup.
Speaker: Oh, okay. And so each event in the event listing has that events rules listed out. Uh, but other than that, you know, it's, it's pretty much what we've been saying, you know the, the, the lights are not super dim.
Speaker: There's music going. Um, and you know, everybody just, you enjoys having a good time. You know I've, I never get there, you know, right at the start. So people are already enjoying themselves and mix of mix of guys, you know, ages, body types, everything, you know, and it's,
Speaker: pretty laid back. It's, it's strange to say it's laid back where at when you're at an event where pretty much everybody is working up to, you know, not being laid back, you know, ah you're right. Right.
Speaker: Um, generally because I do prefer, you know, having some level of, of comfort level and connection,
Speaker: I might interact a little bit, but I mostly get my exhibitionist or voyeur itch scratched. Wait, sir youre are you saying you're not interacting?
Speaker: Sometimes. and Not like all the time. Okay, okay. You know, if if I'm not seeing anybody that makes me say, o my God, absolutely want to do something with this person.
Speaker: I am totally fine watching everybody else play yeah and playing with myself. Yeah. um The other type of ah another one of the types of events that they have is the owner or one of the quote unquote legitimate types of events that they do here outside of the Jackoff Club is on the weekends.
Speaker: They host a nude yoga class. And so that instructor and the owner is also an instructor for it. There will be quote unquote nude yoga masturbation classes.
Speaker: And those are the ones that I was kind of saying the the expectation of interaction and touching others is pretty much expected.
Speaker: Okay, okay. and that's And that's baked into the event description. And they also say up front, you know, if you don't like touching others and don't like others touching you, this might not be the event for you.
Speaker: rain Right, right, right. Okay. um And what happens at those depends on which of the two is running it. The one who is the nude yoga instructor kind of combines meditation and yoga techniques to masturbation.
Speaker: And, you know, it kind of like, okay, you know, let's kind of do this kind of of touch now, apply it to somebody else and that kind of thing.
Speaker: It's, and it's very, very relaxing, especially given that we're all jerking each other off. Right. Right. Um, and he's, he's fairly strict about maintaining the no lips below the hips and everything throughout the entire event.
Speaker: That's not to say that some guys, you know, when he has people pair off in pairs or groups of three and four, don't head off into one of the corners and sneak a little oral in.
Speaker: Sure. Um, When the owner runs them, he is more into sensory experiences. Like the first one of his that I went to,
Speaker: um i thought there was going to be real chocolate, but he called he called it the chocolate tasting event. I thought there was going to be real chocolate, but it was it was inspired by he went on a tour. He he told the whole story.
Speaker: He went on a tour of but of a ah chocolate factory. And at the end, you know, they gave out samples. And so here, give it a try. And everybody immediately just popped the chocolate in It's like, no, no, no, you're doing it wrong.
Speaker: First, you know, look at the chocolate, then smell the chocolate, oh then taste the chocolate. And so what he what he does and he does variations on this same kind of thing, whether it's the chocolate tasting or not.
Speaker: Part of the group is blindfolded and stationary. The other part of the group is not blindfolded and rotates through doing, and there's different sensory things like, okay, go up and, you know, just smell the person.
Speaker: Right. Go up and, know, and the quote unquote tasting is touching. Okay. Okay. And you know then switch off who's blindfolded and who isn't.
Speaker: Oh, interesting. Okay. And then another one was similar to that, but it wasn't it didn't have the whole chocolate theme. And at the end of the whole event was he finally just had everyone put on a blindfold and we were all in a circle and then walk in towards the center until it was all just a mass of people. And...
Speaker: And it just touch away. touch away Okay. um Interesting. And then one of the things, the the third kind of event that they run is one of the things that he produces in the video production studio is gay porn.
Speaker: Ah, okay. So when they have a new video that's done that they're about to put out on, I i don't remember what platform they distribute through, they do a screening at the group.
Speaker: Oh. And, um, they Like a focus group who is able to maintain their erections video. Well, when when they do the movie nights, the only rule is consent.
Speaker: Oh, the New York Jack's rules are off the table. Oh, any, anything and everything goes as long as it is consensual. Okay. Okay. And it's a little different.
Speaker: Yeah, it is. And that's the, that's the kind of event, you know the lights are down because the video is running. hu But, you know, oddly enough, those, with a few outliers of of people, those seem to be kind of some of the most laid back of the events of theirs that I've been to.
Speaker: ah Because... ah For example, the last time I went to one of their events was a movie night. And for instance, there was a pair of guys who were sitting in what would be the corner of the sectional that was just off on its own.
Speaker: They had clearly come in together. They were hanging out there together. They were, you know, just general body contact, some mutual masturbation, some oral.
Speaker: um And but so without wanting to make assumptions just from looking at at the two of them and observing and yeah let's be honest, they were putting on a pretty good show.
Speaker: Yeah. um And then when they finished and left, it seemed very clear that they are friends with benefits who are probably in the real world, at least straight appearing.
Speaker: Okay. Okay. And that this provides that provided them with an outlet to be able to. Yeah. and But i see I see a lot of that. I see a lot of early on in the evenings. I've been to two or three of the movie nights.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. um Those are the ones that I interact with least because I don't want to have to be that guy yeah saying, no no, no, stay away from You're not putting that in my butt.
Speaker: Right. Because I don't know you. Right, right, right.
Speaker: But that seems to be the events that whether they come in knowing one another because they know each other outside or they are regulars at the events or it's just somebody that they have vibed with after getting there that people pair off. I say pair off, but sometimes it's groups of like three. Yeah.
Speaker: and just kind of stick together for most of the evening and play. Right, right. So despite being the ones with the least rules, they seem to be the most laid back of their events because of it. Okay, I see. And you know as a bonus too, you know sometimes he'll bring in um some of the performers from the video. Oh, all right.
Speaker: And the last one that he brought in, it's incredibly cute.
Speaker: The first time that I saw him bring any in, they they came in, got undressed like everybody else, and hung out with everybody. They you know indulged with some of the attendees.
Speaker: Okay, okay. and But jumping back to explain some of the standard here at the jack-off events in the movie nights, when greeting you and the owner is giving you ah the the rules and stuff, one of the things that we we talked about, dress code, their stance is where you you're free to stay as clothed or get as naked as you're comfortable with.
Speaker: Okay. And... One event that I went to, there was one, he appeared to be a pretty young guy, hard to tell because he was wearing, um you know, like a, uh, a mask.
Speaker: Okay. Like a COVID mask or like a, yeah. Yeah. Like a COVID style mask. Okay. And glasses. But he stayed completely dressed, stayed off on one end in a chair off against one of the far walls, just kind of watched for about an hour and then left.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. So, and everybody, you know, let him be. Sure. He was, he was doing what he went to do. Yeah. The, the typical depends on which type of event, but you know, they're, they're all, all of them have been fun that I've gone to.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. The events that I've been to have typically been new York Jack's rules. No, and no lips below the hips and no poles and holes. And that, I think,
Speaker: is my my comfort level. Like I like that. yeah I like those rules to be in place. Not that I don't enjoy lips below the hips also. I've been to an event recently where that was also allowed and that was really fun. But the more standard events, usually there is, there there's like an entrance time. Like there's a time period where you can arrive and then the doors close at a certain point.
Speaker: So it's not the entire time of the event that you can just walk in. It's usually like yeah a half hour or sometimes less and that you can walk in But I usually get there around the start time, not right at the stroke of the hour. i see what you did there.
Speaker: ah A little after, just a little after the stroke of the hour. And ah then, you know, pay the entrance fee. And usually, so Rain City Jacks is a larger club.
Speaker: So they, I'm not interacting with the owner there, although he's a fixture at the events and events. you know, always there, as well, but yeah, I'll pay my entrance fee. They have lockers and they provide locks as well.
Speaker: And so I'll put all my clothes in the locker, put on some shower shoes and walk back up to the, uh, the, the play area.
Speaker: I'll usually start off. First of all, they have like a water cooler. there with cups and I will get a glass of water first. First move is get a glass of water, kind of like stick by a wall, just kind of survey and see who's here. Am I recognizing any faces?
Speaker: And then I usually like hang by a wall and just kind of see who's walking by. you know, usually there's a It's a good sort of mixer environment where there will be people kind of walking around, seeing who they connect with ah by eye contact. If there's somebody you don't want to play with, don't make extended eye contact with them because that is a bit of an invitation to come on over.
Speaker: And ah so I'll stick by the wall a little bit and then I'll start walking around myself too and see if I can make eye contact with people. And, you know, you may think that this is a...
Speaker: circle jerk event but really it is a lot of one-on-ones a lot of like pairs or sometimes larger groups and as you said there are at the events i've been to there's seating usually covered in towels or sheets and ah maybe a table or like an ottoman where You can lean lean back and or lie down and jack off, um either solo or with ah partners and spectators.
Speaker: And it is a lot of walking around, kind of seeing who's there, seeing who meets your eye and... if they're open to playing and kind of sidling up to them and saying, is it okay if I touch? Or, wow, that's really impressive what you got there. ah That kind of thing. And usually there is lube provided. So at Rain City Jacks, for instance, they have little containers, little plastic containers with Bader Balm in them.
Speaker: So you can stay greased up, which is nice for sure. And they have paper towels and wet wipes as well for cleaning up. And I'll usually like pair up with between like six to eight guys over the course of like two hours or so that I'm there.
Speaker: It depends, really. Like, if it if it's a big turnout, and ah Rain City, anyway, sometimes gets between, like, 60 and 80 people. So it could be ah quite a big event.
Speaker: And so I'll play with different people. Sometimes I will... like if I'm getting too close, I will break it off or I'll stop. And that for me, that means like touching their hand and like physically kind of slowing them down or stopping them or saying, Hey, I'm getting too close. Like, please ease off.
Speaker: and And everybody that, uh, I've either done that to or heard that from, um has been very nice about it. has, you know, backed off. There hasn't been anybody that's just kind of forced their way into it or anything like that.
Speaker: And there will be asking about, ah kissing or nipple play. Like, are your nipples sensitive? that kind of thing. There's a lot of touch, which is great. A lot of cuddling, which is great. I really am a fan of body contact in general.
Speaker: So I'll just rub my beard ah over someone's shoulder or neck. And that's really nice for me and nice for them, I think. Yeah. And, uh, yeah, it's a good time. I, so when I first started going to the Jack off club, like 25 years ago, I could come four times in ah the stretch of two hours.
Speaker: I was just that horny of a 20 something right now. I can't, I can't do that. now Now we have both been diagnosed with an excessive case of oldness.
Speaker: Yeah. So I know that it's going to be like a one and done kind of thing. So I will like try to pace myself throughout an event. Right. Like and not not even figuratively blow my load, realistically blow my load. Yeah. and have to leave or something. So I try to like pace myself. and you know there'll be a person I'm playing with that I think is really hot and they're really into it. I'm really into it. We'll break off. like i'm I need to take a break.
Speaker: sometimes we'll circle back around and play again. And sometimes there'll be like a guy who really wants to come with me and he'll find me when he's ready or I'll find him when I'm ready and we'll end up, uh,
Speaker: getting each other off and that is really fun to do as well ah and then of course hand your friend your new friend a towel like a paper towel or a wet wipe and at that point i usually ask them their name you know if we've had that much fun together i figure ah should know your name so And then, yeah, after after I come, then I usually hang around for a few minutes, maybe get another glass of water, and then go back down to the lockers, put my clothes on, and leave.
Speaker: But yeah, it's a really fun time. It's one of my favorite things, quite honestly, because it is a lot of visual attraction, you know, like...
Speaker: To me, there's nothing quite like meeting somebody's eyes and having them come over to you and want to play with you or vice versa. And it's like all of those junior high or high school dances where except you're naked and you're finding somebody to actually stroke you off. And yeah, it's just, it's just very unique, very fun. i like it. And I guess I am also sort of an exhibitionist in some ways where I'm not as freaked out that everybody is in this room together naked as I thought I would be before I went.
Speaker: Because I'm not somebody who even, I'm not a nudist. i work I wear the most clothes all the time. if i can Generally, it's like going to a jack off club was also just a moment of self-discovery in that I discovered, hey, I can do this. I can like be in a room with 60 other naked men and I'm not bothered by that.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, so I absolutely wouldn't be. but And I don't mind if other people are watching as well. Like i that can be really fun, too. yeah I will find I'll be playing with somebody. will get really hot and heavy. We'll like break it off like I need to take a break.
Speaker: And then somebody who was watching will step right up that's like oh okay yeah i i needed a minute there but oh all right you know this is good yeah i'm into that it can be possible and you any anyone who goes for the first time don't don't get in your head about this but right it is entirely possible that you you might see one or two guys over there that you're like okay yeah great i'd really like to go play with them but they're already vibing together right and they they don't want
Speaker: ah an extra hand in the mix, or you know? Yeah. Yeah. You do have, there's a lot of room reading that you have to do in these situations. yeah So what when that happens, don't think that they're being cliquish.
Speaker: Yeah. You they're they're just They're having their moment right then. Let them. yu But you there there are plenty of other... i mean, i I get it.
Speaker: One of them might be you like the guy who is absolutely doing it for you on that visit. ah But if yeah if he's having if he's having fun with somebody else... Right.
Speaker: Yeah. Or there's also the possibility that the guy who is really doing it for you doesn't want to play with you or yeah doesn't want to play with anybody. You know, there are those people who go to these events that just want to or just want to watch or be watched and not have direct contact.
Speaker: And yeah, so that's again where consent comes in where, you know, i have walked up to guys that I thought I'd love to play with them and they've said, oh, you know, I'm, I'm taking a break or I'm just watching and that's fine. Like I don't take that as a personal attack or anything like that.
Speaker: So it is important to remember that consent piece always. It absolutely is. And if you're the kind of person that just wants to go and watch too, that's fine as well. Like, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, where where else can you go and ah nominally legally yeah watch a room full of guys jerking off?
Speaker: Right. Bath houses. Adult yeah bookstores, maybe. but Yeah. Well, that the bookstores. Consent is maybe not as big a rule. Like, they're not as curated an event.
Speaker: And you know i I did say nominally, legally at the bookstores, you're generally going to see the sign when you walk in that says, here are all of the statutes that you're about to break.
Speaker: And we know you're about to break. And we're turning a blind eye to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, we we can't finish this conversation with talking about what you do when you finish also like not only is consent good but also letting the other person know that you're about to about to come that's important yes as well you don't want any surprises if if the especially if the other person doesn't like come or doesn't want to be like cummed on or anything like that like you have to
Speaker: navigate this you can say oh i'm about i'm about to come is there like a situation do you like would you like this a certain way or what because i i have several partners at these events where they don't like come so they don't want to have anything to do with it so i just don't even ah figure that we'll finish together Yeah, that there's that. And also, you know, they they generally do offer towels and paper towels.
Speaker: Be considerate of the people who did not opt for footwear. That's true. Wipe wipe up the ground if... ah Some splashed on the ground. Yeah. Make sure to wipe that up. Yeah. Because there's a reason that we are recommending footwear, dear listeners. It's true. It's true.
Speaker: i do enjoy the moments where, and some guys are very vocal, make a lot of noise when they're coming. And I do enjoy that aspect of it where everybody's eyes just kind of like turn immediately. Yeah.
Speaker: Like, Oh, what's going on over there? i I have like tried to remember myself. Like, do I make any noise? I don't even remember if I make noise. or I probably do. I'm too in the moment to remember, but it's always hot when somebody else, either that you're playing with or just ah is across the room is making a lot of noise. That's really fun.
Speaker: Yep. I mean, I just playing, you know it, It's hot watching guys come. I agree. Yeah, it is. i did kind of touch on something there. And since it has affected my club without wanting to be a downer, if you are concerned about, shall we say, legal safety in clubs like this, yeah it is perfectly valid to reach out to the organizers and ask if it you know if everything is above board.
Speaker: yep Absolutely. Without going into the whole drama, the club that I have been going to everything was in order with the exception because the owner was told he did not need to do so.
Speaker: They were not registered as a sexually oriented business. And during the middle of a midday event in April, the local constabulary visited acting like they were Delta Force. Yeah.
Speaker: and arrested the owner and his business partner on charges of operating a sexually oriented business without a license. So they were told he has, from day one, he had worked with the city, had everything in order that needed to be done. ah Also, where I would say what we were mentioning about the cover is because they were charging, he was also charged with aggravated, basically aggravated prostitution. Okay.
Speaker: Because they were charging a cover and people were going in to have sex. Right, right. ah Meanwhile, it it was very clear they were being targeted because of the clientele, because literally around the corner is a swingers club right that received no such visit.
Speaker: Yeah. So I don't say this to make anyone paranoid or to scare them off, but to also say, just to say, if you do have any such concerns,
Speaker: contact the organizers and they will be glad to go over with you because they want you to come in. No pun intended. They want your business.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. So they want to put your mind at ease. Yep. And safety is also a big part of just jack off clubs in general because, you know, disease prevention, STI prevention. I mean, there's the reason why there's the no pulls and holes, uh, Yeah. rules Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah. Absolutely. And some clubs have themes. Like you were saying about your three different kinds of events. And yeah sometimes ah at least Rain City Jacks will do like jocks.
Speaker: night where there will be jockstraps allowed or onesies or things like that. like ah Or Daddy's Night or something like that. So yeah, there's... Or Countdown is another popular one where there will be a countdown to when they want people to blast off.
Speaker: I've never been to any of the themed events, but I have heard that they are very fun. Now that you mentioned that, I have seen them post and I have never been to one.
Speaker: They've done like potluck events. ah where you know where they've I think that they have themed it around around different holidays and quote-unquote costume events.
Speaker: It's for the holidays and stuff, but they've also, yeah they've done it as a potluck and it's even like, you know, cover is half price. If you bring something for the potluck, which can be a bag of chips.
Speaker: Right. And it literally says in the description, bring a bag of chips and and you're fine. There you um i have not I have not been to any of those because I've been like, I'm not sure I want the food around where guys are coming. Yeah.
Speaker: Right. I would hope they separate that stuff. I would hope so. they' But again, haven't been to them. Right, right, right, right, right. And yeah you maybe they they are now, after the events that I was just mentioning, they are setting up in a new space for when they resume events. They've been waiting for the court case to finish so that they can make sure all of their T's are crossed and I's are dotted again. Yeah.
Speaker: ah but they've got new space. So maybe there would be a space that they could definitely set that up separately because unless they did it in the entry lobby, I don't know where they would set up.
Speaker: And, Even though the entry lobby at the old place had very darkly tinted and blocked windows, the door itself, even though it was tinted, you could see it.
Speaker: Right, i right, right. And people entering to come to the event. So, oh look, there's there's a lobby full of naked men getting food. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, that that that is another type. And they they've also and again, i haven't gone to these. i i mentioned his video production and and shooting the gay porn.
Speaker: There have been times that they've been shooting one of the videos and they have set up curtains that have like peepholes. into where they're filming. And they, again, I haven't been to any of these. they They've set up the event that attendees can come and be behind the curtain and watch through as they're filming and oh play with themselves and one another while watching guys film the part. I've been intrigued by that one. That would be pretty intriguing.
Speaker: But just my luck, you know, like a curtain's going to fall down and I'll be right on camera. And I mean, I know that they would edit that out, but still, you know, talk talk about deer in the headlights and losing your erection immediately. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: All right. Shall we move on Let's move on. To our mini topic. Mini topic. And today's mini topic is underwear. Vasistas.
Speaker: ah You know, undergarments. ah yeah I mean, a few years ago, i i have always been a guy who would wear boxer briefs. Like, that's what I wore. I wore boxer shorts, like, in high school. Yeah.
Speaker: Not really like an underwear guy, but since my divorce and since I'm in an exploratory mood, I have decided to explore underwear as well.
Speaker: And so I've switched now to briefs. which I really enjoy. I like the classic white brief. I like some colors. You can get some nice sort of white underwear briefs that have like some, almost like a ringer t-shirt, like just a little splash of color on them. And I really like that.
Speaker: And then a friend of mine is like, you should try jock straps. Yeah. And I was like, huh, you know, I'd never really considered chalk straps, but okay, like I'll i'll try one out.
Speaker: And I bought one from a company called Coyote. They make really good stuff, actually. Like I have two jocks now from Coyote and they're just really nice. I'm not an athletic person. Like I'm not wearing these as athletic gear or anything like that.
Speaker: They're merely like for... visual appeal and yeah, they actually, they feel pretty good, on.
Speaker: And I mean, women get all the great underwear and I'm not into wearing women's underwear, but now there are men's underwear that give you a similar kind of feel and still feel masculine too. Like that's important to me, I guess isn that still masculine feeling.
Speaker: And yeah I do like a ah brief ah or a jockstrap. But what's what's your go-to undergarment, Grayson?
Speaker: Well, i mean, for for many many, many, many, many years of my life, it was the classic tighty-whities. Yeah. And then I transitioned into some color briefs and then boxer briefs. And then a little over 20 years ago, i have in that time, I have pretty much been commando full-time. Yeah.
Speaker: So nothing. Your your underwear of choice is no underwear. Now, i do I do still have several pairs of boxer briefs and boxers because there are certain occasions where I basically have to wear something. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah When I first started going commando full time, my initial rules for myself were if I have to go to the doctor, i will wear some. If I have to dress business casual or better, i will wear some.
Speaker: yeah And then when I started my current job that I've been at forever, ah I started ah staffing conferences for work. And what that entails is having to move heavy cases equipment of equipment around very, very quickly through convention centers, ah wearing clothing that is branded with the company logo. And our customers know who I am because I have frequent contact with them okay in my day-to-day. And let's be let's be honest, swamp ass is real.
Speaker: Right, right, right, right. so since then, business casual or better, that rule for the most part has gone away. ah And several years ago, so my my doctor's normal routine when I go for my physical...
Speaker: had been for years, he'd do as much as he can, fully clothed, yeah and then say, okay, I'm going to step out in the hallway for a minute to put a few things into the system. Never mind that there's a computer foot away from you. Yeah. ah But I'm going to step out here, you know go ahead and strip down to your underwear, and then I'll come back in and we'll finish.
Speaker: Then he would come in do whatever else whatever else he needed to, including a real quick you know drop of the underwear to check everything downstairs, and then get dressed and and we're done.
Speaker: yeah Well, a few years ago, I was like, I know I can't be the only patient of his. this commando probably not no so i was like what what is my concern here what has been my concern that that was my rule and so i decided okay i'm not going to do that anymore and i already had my line already you know when he says you know go ahead and strip on down to your underwear. I'll be out here and ah you know just say, well, I'm not wearing anybody, but any, but it's not a big deal. Yeah.
Speaker: And as I recall, I made that decision around the time of COVID. So there were no office visits. And since resuming office visits after COVID and after me making this life changing decision, he hasn't,
Speaker: had me do that he hasn't had you drop trow and uh no oh he's never asked yeah okay okay okay so it's like okay i haven't had that in a few years either my my doctor hasn't asked me to do that but Part part of why I think is the case is in the tail end of COVID is when i hit ah hit that age and had to have the old colonoscopy.
Speaker: Right. And he has not asked me to since having the colonoscopy. Oh, okay. Okay. So although I did a couple of years ago, actually have to buy a new pair of briefs because i got snipped.
Speaker: And part of my orders were I had to have a jockstrap or tight briefs. for support to leave the procedure and where for the next couple of days.
Speaker: Right. And and the order specifically you know spelled out, that you like boxers and boxer briefs do not provide the support that you're going to need. Right, right, right.
Speaker: So I had to go buy a pair. Yes. And that's the only time I've worn them. That's the most fun too, because then you get to look at the packages with the models on them too.
Speaker: ah Well, I mean, yeah there is that. ah ah There is that. But yeah, anyway, i want to I want to throw it out. If any listener wants to ask me nicely, I'll post a picture of some of my favorite underwear. Whether or not I'm in them at the time is ah I'll just leave that up to your imagination for now. and We'll have to see how many listeners request it. But I'll throw that out. Well, I was... a I was about to go create a bunch of ah of sock puppet accounts and send requests. but ah
Speaker: if you're Yes. I mean, you can see it anytime you want, Grayson. You just have to the word. Well, okay. word it ah
Speaker: I'll send you. Before we go here, I want to point out a resource of the week. So there's this podcast called the heart of Jack's. It was hosted by the founder of rain city Jack's and it goes into the history of Jack off clubs.
Speaker: ah This podcast has ended. ah ah So there are no new episodes, but the old episodes are still available. If you want to listen to that and find out about the history of such clubs, he does a lot of really good interviews with folks and i think it's worth a listen absolutely i listened several years ago it's a good listen and i think it's time to hit our socials and our contacts so i'm gonna hand that over to you grayson
Speaker: All right. Well, if this episode brought up a story of your own, we'd love to hear it. Maybe you've been to a Jackoff Club. Maybe you've thought about going, had a memorable experience, or just have a question you want us to tackle.
Speaker: Yes. Send it to podcast at by men unfiltered.com. And if you're okay with us sharing it on the show, just include okay for air in your message. And while you're thinking about what you might want to tell us, come find us on Facebook, Instagram threads, and Twitter slash X at at by men unfiltered or on blue sky at by men unfiltered.com.
Speaker: We'd love to hear what you thought about this episode too. Absolutely. Hit us up with any questions too. It'd be fun to do like a mailbag episode where we just answer listener questions too. That would be fun.
Speaker: That would be fun. I almost threw down a gauntlet to come up with the most off the wall questions, but that would probably be scary. So no gauntlet has been thrown. Do not take that statement as a gauntlet. ah But we do want to hear from you, whether you, you know, if you've been liking the show, like I, it'd be great to hear from you. Just drop us ah a quick note, even if it's not a story or anything like, and of course, rate us and review us on your podcast client of choice. If you're able to, that really does help. And we love reading the comments as well.
Speaker: Yep. All right. Next episode. Quick tease here. We have a guest. A guest. That's right. Does this mean I'm going to have to put clothes on?
Speaker: Yes, it does. We're not going to be able to record. Thank you. To put clothes on because we have Marcus as a guest on the show and they are going to tell us their story, their bi journey. And it's a really interesting one. And it I hope everybody tunes in next week for that. And it's going to be really interesting. And of course, if you want to come on the show and share your story, just like Marcus is going to in a week,
Speaker: You can email us podcast at by men unfiltered.com tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey. And so you want to be on the show and we'll interview you too.
Speaker: Yep. So stay tuned for that episode. I think it's going to be a really good one. I think people are really going to like it. I think so, too. That's it for this week. i can't wait to hear the story. We've already heard it, though.
Speaker: Shh. i' I'm maintaining the illusion. It's a peek behind the curtain with the eye holes. I'm maintaining the illusion. Next, you'll tell me that reality TV is scripted.
Speaker: It is. i hate to break it to you, but you know, there are parts on those shows you don't get to see in the final edit. You, you mean the real world wasn't real? I don't think so. No.
Speaker: Oh, but Puck and Rachel really did do it. Right. I think so. Yeah. Okay. and No, I'm not going to make the joke. I don't want us getting on more lists. Nevermind.
Speaker: Alrighty. We'll see everybody next week. Take care. So long. Bye.
