Transcript
Speaker: the sentiment I've used with him for a long time is, do you want me to talk to you like a coach right now? Or do you want me to be a mom to do you right now? Which one do you want? Coaching talk is coaching talk applied to literally any sport.
Speaker: um And sometimes he'll opt for coach because then it's like less emotional. But then other times he'll opt for mom because he doesn't want to talk about, he doesn't want to debrief. He doesn't want to think about the game.
Speaker: So I kind of let him choose. But when he's pissed off after losing or frustrated with how he played, it is a quiet ride home. And everyone that. We don't talk, we don't like, you should have done this. No, absolutely not.
Speaker: And we have had to really coach him on, it is okay to be pissed off. It is okay to feel like this. Feeling like this is actually going to be the thing that makes you great at everything you do in life. Like the art of giving a shit is like a dying art and he has that.
Speaker: Here's the question. What makes a great sports parent? Is it knowing when to push and when to back off? Is it signing them up for every sport and letting them pick their favorite? My guest today has thought more about this than most and lives the good and the bad and the ugly of youth athletics every single day.
Speaker: Welcome to the Captains & Coaches Podcast where we explore the art and science of leadership through the lens of athletics and beyond. I'm your host Tex McQuilkin and today I am joined by Brianna Battles, the founder of Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism, a certified strength and conditioning specialist, a Division one athlete and coach, a Jiu Jitsu competitor, and most of all, mom of two badasses.
Speaker: Today we're sharing her lived experiences as an athlete and now parent navigating youth sports. How do you raise gritty, resilient, multi-sport athletes? Brianna's got receipts.
Speaker: With that, let's hand it off to Coach Battles who helps us raise the game. Ready, ready, and great. And action. Brianna, welcome to the show. Very excited to have you. You are one of the busiest mom athletes out there.
Speaker: very excited for us to have this time to sit down to talk about a very important topic of being a sport parent. So welcome to the show. Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm glad we were able to coordinate this.
Speaker: Yes, and we connected at the and NSCA National Conference in 2025 in Kansas City through our mutual friends at Train Heroic. You presented there, and you brought your oldest son, Cade, and he was a hit.
Speaker: this This conference was in Kansas City, so we had the Basketball Hall of Fame, and he basically took over that whole entire arena, and it was awesome to see and and meet the fam.
Speaker: Oh yeah. It was such a cool experience because, you know, Cade is what was the catalyst for what has become my business. um And so then to bring him NSCA to watch me speak and then to be around a bunch of coaches and colleagues, it just felt like this full circle moment and just, you know, he doesn't really get to see that side of what I do.
Speaker: he was just like, and he loves sports and he loves coach energy. So He just thrived off of being the center of attention, which you know every 12-year-old boy, they they kind of love that. Would they love it or they hate it?
Speaker: Yeah, this is true. He very much loves it. And I was ecstatic because the day after we met, I was leading a a practical presentation in the morning.
Speaker: So now he drug his ass or you drug his ass out of bed. I don't know who got that to get him there in time. And my presentation was called Funishment. So I was just putting everybody through the ringer, including him. But he had a great attitude and it was fun.
Speaker: I'll include some highlights here in our B-roll. But he was just a great teammate to have me coaching people how to be great teammates. Yeah, absolutely. And again, like just feeding off that energy. And I thought it was just a cool experience for him to be in a professional setting, but a setting where he could learn and be hands-on. And it was helping him as, you know, an athlete, of course, but I think also just that overall, I refer to it as like athletic maturity and he's getting dosed with that so heavily from the environments he's being exposed to through um coaching and business. but also just you know the people that he's meeting through that. And so it's ah it's just his pivotal age. He was going, at that time, it was the summer going into middle school for him.
Speaker: And it just felt like this, and don't know, just like this big opportunity for an MC, like what ill how what is out there, what the world is like, what I do, and in a way that he already is very connected to. Mm-hmm. And he's no stranger to a a coaching and a teaching and a gym environment because y'all also own a jujitsu gym.
Speaker: Is it called a gym? Yeah. I mean, I call it a gym. It feels weird to call it like a studio or academy or whatever. But for us, it's it's a jujitsu gym. And we opened that um in January 2026.
Speaker: But even prior to that, Kate has been coaching with me on the sidelines, I mean, since I was pregnant. like And then when he was born, we were on a a pool deck coaching at the Division I level. And then just in various strength conditioning settings, he has been in a gym literally his entire life. And so now this it just keeps evolving in what capacity he's he's exposed to from a coaching environment. But I really feel like that exposure at an early age and normalizing so much of coaching language and exercise and movement and teamwork is that was instilled at a very young age.
Speaker: And from my experience, parents that have had success at either Division One or professional levels, they make some of the best sport parents because they've been through the ringer. They've been through all that.
Speaker: So now speak to us about your athletic experience. that has almost helped prepare you to be mom and parent within that household that is that is athletic, that thrives in this team and and hard work environment.
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely. i mean, I grew up swimming and then I totally went into water polo and I was able to play water polo in college at the Division I level. And then I went on to get my master's degree in coaching. And then I coached in a variety of environments from corporate wellness to D1.
Speaker: personal training, just a little bit of everything when you're figuring out your way. um And then i'm during that time as an athlete, I didn't want to stop being an athlete. I was very much, I think, embedded in like a lot of millennial women was like, no, like it's not over when you're 22, even though that was a common thought was like, you hit your peak at 18 to 25 ish. And after that, you know, you're not really an athlete, but You know, at that time, CrossFit was becoming a lot more prevalent. So I got into CrossFit. I also got into triathlons for a while and running. did a little bit everything, powerlifting, Olympic lifting.
Speaker: And I've just tried to really stay versatile. And I'd say the last you know decade plus have been really steady and just general strength and conditioning. But then I started jujitsu um like a little over six years ago. And so now I am a purple belt in jujitsu. And I compete in that sometimes when life and seasons allow for a little bit more freedom and capacity to go away on weekends and compete. um So that has been nice to do in I guess, like my late thirties to be able to get that competitive outlet through jujitsu and just very different. And that was never anything that I had had exposure to previously. And so it's been cool to tap into still being an athlete.
Speaker: and a mom. And that's very much like the, the foundation of my business and brand is that like athleticism does not end when motherhood begins. And that's just a, it's been a core value from the beginning. Like it never stopped being an athlete. And I'm very much, um, committed to like helping women pursue this lifetime of athleticism. It's not just about what you're doing as a youth athlete or collegiate athlete, or even, know, in your early twenties, it's just this, this lifetime of athleticism and being able to stay in the game, even if the game changes.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel it's important to have the identity of athlete throughout. So you weren't a water polo player, you weren't a swimmer, you were an athlete. So now that can allow you to explore different outlets of athleticism like CrossFit and jujitsu.
Speaker: And I feel that carries over great to kids. Because Kate is not a baseball player. He is not a football player. He's an athlete. Yeah. Yeah. and i want him to be versatile athlete, like as coaches, like we know, like, we know that the kids that make it the furthest and have the most sustainability and enjoyment and like just kind of ah the best holistic experience and make it far, um, in their athletic career are the ones that had a lot of variety growing up and they had a lot of positive sport experiences and well-rounded movement fundamentals. And like,
Speaker: Again, this is common sense to you and I and to a lot of coaches, like all the coaches at NSCA, right? When they would talk to Kate, they're like, what sports do you play? And he would just like list off a battery of all of them. What's your favorite?
Speaker: All of them. Like he loves every sport and he's pretty successful at a lot of sports. But I think it's because that foundation was laid, you know, like at four years old, you know, of like when and we really started introducing consistent participation in sport.
Speaker: So let's stick with that introducing. So you have two boys. You've known the formula. What your approach to introducing sports?
Speaker: You didn't force one track. You wanted to them to explore different. So take us to your your family mindset. What was the conversations like with dad to help this this track of development so then eventually he can find what what best fits him?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, thankfully, Jared and I are really aligned when it comes to like athletic development and just family values of what we prioritize. He's also an athlete, very fit. He's black belt in jujitsu. So that's always been a um ah pretty easy core value for us to be aligned on.
Speaker: um And we just knew that when they were four, it was wanting to make sure they were, they both started jujitsu at four because that is such a great like body awareness movement.
Speaker: contact, but also like safe and controlled. um They learn how to fall. They learn how to roll. they They, you know, like just basic contact. And I'm telling you, you start to see, again, I know I'm preaching to the choir, but my little one is eight now. And i feel like eight is this age where you see kids that have never had a ball thrown at them. They have never like played hands on with anyone.
Speaker: And it is so apparent that they haven't had that exposure. And I look at my boys and they they had that at four years old and they also played soccer and baseball and you know, all of those sports that you can start at a pretty young age. And then that has just ah continually evolved. And I think it also laid that foundation of not being afraid to try something new because when new is instilled at a young age where it's like, this is just what we're doing. This is just what we're doing. We're trying this, we're doing that.
Speaker: Um, i also think like parents empower their kids a little too early on to say, well, I don't like this I don't like that. It's like, well, we're going to try this because this is going to be good for you.
Speaker: um And like, I say, try everything at least once and then we can have a discussion. But I know sometimes I think parents like, well, I don't, I hate baseball. So I'm not going to like sign my kid up for baseball.
Speaker: It's like, no, just like give them exposure, like exposure early and often i think is the thing that will keep them healthy. get them being resilient. Cause now, you know, i'm coaching and between just watching other kids and my kids compete and now coaching a jujitsu environment, like that toughness in grit is not across the board.
Speaker: And you know, we need that whether they go like far in sport, but, or just like have a better life experience. You need to learn to be gritty and resilient at a young age. And like sport is such a great teacher of that because don't, Luckily, my boys aren't having a a hard childhood, you know, and it's like a very, it's a significant contrast in how I grew up.
Speaker: So i can look at sport as being a big opportunity to instill challenge and effort and doing something even when you don't want to do it. Yeah. So help us understand how you guide that conversation. You know that trying this different sport is good for them You know vegetables are good for them.
Speaker: So how are you leading these young men in the household to then continue to to show up and do what they don't want to do? And then maybe it is, wow, those do taste good. Whoa, I did have fun today.
Speaker: Yeah, you know, I feel really fortunate in the fact that both of the boys have a lot of intrinsic motivation. Like they just, they really love to play.
Speaker: Like they love to play. They love to compete. they have a lot of energy. Like it's just boy household. Like, and then like, I'm like ah a bro mom is kind of what they call me. Like there's just, there's always boys at the house. They're always playing basketball out front.
Speaker: They're always playing. That's just a play based environment. And I think that frames sport and exercise as fun instead of like, this is a task or something you have to do. It's like, this is just what we do.
Speaker: This is how we have fun. this is how we feel better. um When I am overstimulated and irritated with them they're like, you need to go work out. Like, I hate that you're right. You know, but they know, like they know, um or like they need to, you need to go to Jiu Jitsu. I'm like, I don't know if I really want to go to Jiu Jitsu tonight. i don't know if I can swing it. And he, they're like, you should go. You'll feel better. And it's, so it's like, they get that and they see that, um you know, and like I said, he, Caden is now at the age where he's,
Speaker: He's doing a high volume of sports, but that's because he's at the end of that age where you can have a ton of volume. Because then you get to a point where you do have to start to narrow at least to like three. Like we're literally doing every sport imaginable, it seems. um And, you know, I have to remind him sometimes where i'm like, you...
Speaker: like baseball, you're good at baseball. And this will likely be your last year of playing it. So let's just send it like, and have a great time because it's precious.
Speaker: Like it is precious. You never know, or a lot of people don't know the last time they're going to, they're going pitch or the last time they're going to score touchdown or the last time they're going like win a tennis match or whatever. And so if we're going into this knowing, okay, he likes baseball, but it's probably not going to be his, his main sport.
Speaker: let's ride this out and just make it as enjoyable, as enjoyable of a process. And just reminding them and reframing, I think goes a really long way. here Yeah. I like that. And I learned your, your family motto is practice brave.
Speaker: Yeah. So I'd love to know the origins of that. And then how often are you pulling out that card when the going gets tough for the guys? Yeah. You know, it's, that came about when I was pregnant with chance because honestly, I wasn't sure I wanted to have another baby again. And Cade kicked my ass as as a baby. and like We came into the world, like he just came in full send and his energy, it's like he had FOMO from a young age. And so he was just like a very demanding baby. And he he just, he humbled me. He absolutely changed the trajectory of my life, my career of everything. So I always referred to him as like my
Speaker: my like life coach in a lot of ways. Like every coach needs a coach and mine ended up being a my son. And um so thinking about having another baby, i was like, i don't know if i can do that. That was so hard and I got so humbled. um It just changed the the trajectory of everything.
Speaker: um But I knew that ultimately i did want to have a second child and that was really important to me. um And so I just, I couldn't just,
Speaker: be brave through the process, I had to choose to practice it in small reps over time, which was like, okay, I don't want to have it at the a birth experience like I had with Cade.
Speaker: So I need to be brave and have a conversation with my OBGYN. I need to be brave and I need to just like set up whatever support and resources I'm going to need postpartum. And then that ended up translating into the work I do, working with a lot of coaches and a lot of athletes. It's becoming a mom is a significant life transition, especially for female athletes, because you know, a lot of us are selfish for a long time. Like our body, um, our routines were career driven. We are like high achieving, high drive women.
Speaker: And now there's a baby that you love, and this is an exciting evolution, but that doesn't mean it's not a hard one. And so, um, it just started to translate into how I would talk to coaches and athletes as well in my business.
Speaker: And, um, You know, it's not about being brave. It's just about getting reps of doing the next brave thing. And that adds up over time. ah love it And I mean, imagine every day as a parent, there are wins and there are losses.
Speaker: And that's the beauty of youth sports is kids are learning that lesson. We're not just telling them as leaders of the household, hey, congratulate your your brother for winning that one.
Speaker: or no, it's okay, we're gonna try again. Now they're actually learning it against other competitors. Time out. Coach needs a coach. I want you to take a second to reflect on this past season and what did not click. Were there moments where you lost your temper, lost your cool, felt your team was mentally soft, weak, not prepared to face competition? Were there moments where they put their heads down and were not ready or accepting?
Speaker: Did they quit on you? Did they quit on their their teammates during a game? What was that experience like? How did you manage it? How did you handle it? I have a course out here, it's called Why They're Not Listening, Coaching Today's Athlete, where I dive into a concept I've been working on that's called social emotional leadership. How do we use practices? How do we use strength and conditioning sessions to develop our leaders to have self-awareness, social awareness, and then have a toolkit to then lead not only their teammates, but themselves.
Speaker: But it starts with you, Coach. i encourage you to check out this. my first lesson in the course is free. To find that, head to listen.captainsandcoaches.com. Start preparing now for next season and everything that you're investing will start to pay off.
Speaker: Now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and break. So I'd love to to take us into the mindset as a former Division I athlete, now a coach of coaches and a coach of of people in the Jiu-Jitsu mat and mom, how important is teaching them to win and lose.
Speaker: And what is that car ride home? What is that conversation like with, with the boys? Yeah. so I have two personality types. Cade is very intense, like very intense. He loses and he like, it has taken him a long time to learn how to control his emotions after losing. He takes it very personally and he will still cry at 12 years old for rec league basketball. If he loses a close game, he's in tears after, and it's like his own, just like, he can't hold it in. It's not that he's even mad, but he also has his frustrated tears too. Um, he has been known to sit on the field and just sit there for 30 minutes after a game and just sit there and no one can talk to him. He's kind of mad.
Speaker: And we have had to really coach him on, it is okay to be pissed off. It is okay to feel like this. Feeling like this is actually going to be the thing that makes you great at everything you do in life. Like the art of giving a shit is like a dying art.
Speaker: And he has that. Like he has, he just cares so deeply and so intensely. That's a good thing. However, as parents, we're like, you can't,
Speaker: Be an asshole. Like if we're coming over to you, you don't shove anyone away. but i don't want to talk right now. Like and you acknowledge the people that came to your game. Your grandma is here. Give her a hug. Thank her for coming.
Speaker: You're going to walk over, hold your head up high. And after every single game, he thinks his own coach, but then he walks over to the coach on the other team. He thinks that coach. And then he goes to the referees and he thanks them. And that has been done since he was a little, little boy.
Speaker: I don't care how you feel. I don't care how upset you are. You will treat everyone with respect. And that has been something like I have harped on since, honestly, since day one, because he's so intense, because he's so competitive, because he's like aggressive and he's all in That can be perceived as, you know, kind of too much.
Speaker: Sometimes he cares so much after he's just very competitive and driven. um So really trying to instill that respect after, and then the car ride home with him, we don't talk.
Speaker: It's pretty quiet. um Sometimes it's it's just like, if you want, I can talk to you. And this is both pregame and postgame. The sentiment I have used with him for a long time is, do you want me to talk to you like a coach right now? Or do you want me to be a mom to you right now?
Speaker: Which one do you want? And same with like Jared, like, cause he can speak certain sports better than I can. But overall, like coaching talk is coaching talk applied to literally any sport.
Speaker: Um, and sometimes he'll opt for coach because then it's like less emotional, but then other times he'll opt for mom. Cause he doesn't want to talk about, he doesn't want to debrief. He doesn't want to think about the game.
Speaker: Um, so I kind of let him choose, but when he's pissed off after losing or frustrated with how he played, it is a quiet ride home. And everyone knows that we don't talk. We don't like you should have done this. No, absolutely not.
Speaker: That just, he, he does enough of that to his own brain. Um, my younger one, He is also very talented, like very competitive, very hardworking, but he also like is able to let it go.
Speaker: He can, he can let it go a lot easier. He's just like, somebody would say like, he's, he's here for a good time. Like, and he's all in when he's there, but he also just, he doesn't, it doesn't like rule his entire energy field. Like it does Cade's like everyone can feel it with Cade with chance. He's able to rebound pretty quickly. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Same parents, just different kid, you know, like just different energy. And you got to like read the room of the child that you have, like they're going to be, they're going to perceive these experiences differently. But I mean, both of them were just really big on the respect part because your name will get around. People are going to know eight battles is, and your reputation will follow you when you're playing multiple sports in a relatively small city.
Speaker: Like that people will remember how you play, but they're going to mostly remember the kid that came up to them and said like, Oh, I remember we played against Kate battles because he shook my hand after the game and man, he worked so hard.
Speaker: He stole all those bases or he like, he got that interception or he did that. But also like he came over and he shook my hand or he was like really cool to my player on second base. Like he treated him well, you know, like it's those, it's those little things. um He just finished basketball season and, I had a ref come up to me after and like, he just, man, he just never stopped hustling. Like, I love that. I love watching your son out there because he just, he will never stop. He will carry the team on his back. He never stops. He's relentless. I love watching him.
Speaker: And it's like, it's cool to be told that. It's not just like how good he is at something. It's like they like what he, like the energy that he brings to that training and our sport environment. And that is, man, that's like that.
Speaker: He's got that thing. Oh yeah. And I coach in high school lacrosse. I see i see it all. Yeah. so It's very, I mean, we're right there on the sideline.
Speaker: I can tell you which kid is a jerk or which kid is like, They are talented and they're great they're great sportsmen. Yes. And that's hard hard sometimes. Yeah. so You know, there's this age where like their brain is just kind of chaotic and they got a lot of energy and then they're they're funny, but then they get mad and like they're just, they're so dysregulated. So s sport can bring out and like instill how to regulate, but it doesn't, it's messy too sometimes. Like good kids will
Speaker: do something that is like, well, that's like inappropriate. You don't act like that. You don't say that. Like you don't throw your, like, I mean, he had like a wrestling tournament. Also got into wrestling this past year and he like lost this match and he was so pissed because this same kid kept beating him. Well, this kid has won state. Like this kid is really good, but Cade was just pissed that he kept losing to him. So he walks off and he like throws his mouth guard and Mike, you don't fricking do that.
Speaker: Nope. You don't do that. You do not throw a tantrum on the side of this mat. We are absolutely not. You can be pissed, but you are not throwing a tantrum. Absolutely not. And that has to get checked. And I hate seeing that go unchecked by parents and by coaches. It pisses me off because I'm like, you are, if you're not addressing that, you are condoning that it is okay to have a tantrum at 12 years old. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: If you permit it, you promote it. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ah also working a lot lot with middle schools right now and managing our our program's middle school team. And one thing I've handed off to the coaches is every single practice, we make sure there's winners and there's losers.
Speaker: So if you win a drill, then you get rewarded. If you lose a drill, push-ups or ball hunt, some form of punishment, just to make sure like, man, that sucks. I want to go again. So we have four moments each practice where there is a competition and a clear winner and loser.
Speaker: And then we always hand off some form of of prize, tokens, stickers, sticks. And then fortunate have ah a lot of D1 dudes on the team. And if you're a Division I athlete, you know, you just get gear thrown at you.
Speaker: So all these coaches just have all this gear that they've never used before. Why not just give it away to these kids and make it a special moment. So now we're rewarding a a player of the day.
Speaker: And that gets everyone even more excited to show up at practice. We're not just practicing like we're we're competing and we're we're excited to be there. so we're We're aiming to give them reps at winning, be ah be a gracious winner, and then be a great sportsman even when we do lose. Okay, you got me this time, but next time going to get you. So aiming to multiply those, not just on game day, multiple times in practice. So now we're prepared for when it really matters and if we can get emotional and that's okay, but you can control it.
Speaker: And it's so good because that A lot of those kids, I assume, like don't necessarily get that same sort of lesson at home. And you know as a parent now, like it's weird going from like athlete and coach to now like a parent and sitting on the sideline in that role. It's like my favorite role so far, but also it's so freaking hard because you are now exposed to the commentary of parents.
Speaker: and what they have to say and then what they're yelling at their kids on the sideline. And then when their kid comes over to grab water and what they're saying to them then or after the game, you just, you hear the stuff that these parents are saying. And it's just like, that is not it. That's not going to make them win next time. That's not going to make them perform well next time.
Speaker: And it's not going help them like lose better next time either. Like it is a loss all the way around when these parents are being really critical and not giving their... like the space to their kid to sit with it and figure it out and also allow the coaches to coach their kid and to be the main voice in their ear. Like there's a time and a place, but ultimately it's, I cannot stand the sideline joysticking and coaching and like the the parents, especially like Jiu-Jitsu community, wrestling community, these parents will lose their shit on their kids.
Speaker: They like, it is, it's like verbal abuse really. And yeah, you know I think you and I are both probably from the same era where we used to get yelled at by coaches all the time. And i was like, all right, that's fine. But it's a different level when you see a parent just like reaming because then you know they're going to go home and that doesn't necessarily stop because the parent is consumed in how their kid is performing as if it's some reflection of them and it's gross.
Speaker: Yeah, ah a quick story. There was a summer league. I hate travel ball so much that I have to coach it to try to have a positive impact. And there was a a coach that absolutely just demolished this kid on the sideline yelling.
Speaker: And then he sat him down for the rest of the game. And lacrosse sidelines are right and right next to each other. So then I'm i'm hearing this. And then the i went up and told the kid, hey, even though you're out of the game for the the the rest of the game, you can still be a leader.
Speaker: So gave gave the kid commentary. And it was so bad that I went up to the coach after the game to do a wellness check. And the the gentleman was like, you know, yeah, you're right. it's You are correct.
Speaker: That's why my wife tells me I shouldn't coach my son. And I'm like, what? That's your son? Holy smokes. So that was an interesting experience.
Speaker: Like remove sport from that and him still just yelling at his son like that. That's not okay. No, and we know that it's ineffective. Like that's not how kids perform well.
Speaker: Not in the moment and not long term. And you can be hard on a kid. You can be tough on them. You can hold them to like high expectations, but they shouldn't be playing in fear of messing up.
Speaker: Or in fear of like, oh my God, I have to like, I'm dreading this car ride home. I don't want to hear my dad yelling at me. I'm embarrassed. Like, and you see it, you see their faces. And you know, these kids are now looking up in the stands at their parent yelling instead of being able to focus on what their coach is doing. And like, that drives me nuts too. Cause i'm just like, stop looking at dad, but also dad needs to shut up or mom needs to stop like throwing herself around in the bleachers. Like, it's just, it's so unnecessary. And you know, something I say a lot is just like the, the parents who have the most athletic and or coaching experience are the ones that you will never hear from on the sideline.
Speaker: They're not like for the most part anyway, Like they're not the ones that are yelling. They're not the ones joy sticking because we've played every role and we know that that's actually not effective.
Speaker: Time out, let's take a second to talk training. I'm giving more of my training tools that I'm doing for myself to you. i have a new dynamic movement and kettlebell flow program. Takes less than 15 minutes a day. I use this in the morning right when I wake up. Yoga mat, red light, kettlebell, hit my flow.
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Speaker: check out a seven-day free trial of this program. Hit the link in the show notes, or if you're watching on YouTube, here's the link right here. Now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and break. So I've heard you discuss athlete brain before, and I feel like we're planting the seeds that eventually turn into athlete brain.
Speaker: So share we've shared some experiences here. So what are some dangers that you foresee of athletes brain and how parents can help prevent that if they start to see their kids act this way or feel a coach is making them think this way about themselves.
Speaker: Yeah. You know what? I think athlete brain is just really representative of like a high drive, competitive, routine driven person. And that's not any gender. That's not any specific age and it never goes away. That's what makes athletes good. as athletes, like they have that competitive drive and they, they hold high expectations for themselves. Um, but it does have to learn to be leveraged. And that is not always intent like, that's just not always intuitive.
Speaker: So as parents, we can say like, you can work hard, you can be great, you can win, you can lose, but that is not like who you are. And there's a lot outside of this sport and this life that like should also be able to fill your cup.
Speaker: When you attach your identity so closely to any given sport or any given position, or even like a certain kind of like praise and feeling you get by participating in that sport. Now you're like leveraging your happiness around being able to control that.
Speaker: And that's not sustainable because life will change. There are unforeseeable circumstances, injuries, um just changes in position. I'm, you know, just moving on from that sport. It comes to an end at some point for most people.
Speaker: um And you have to know like, who am i outside of what I do, outside of what I look like. And so that's filling their cup in a lot of holistic ways, not just attached to their athletic ability or, you know, women, female athletes I work with, like not just attached to your body composition and what you look like or how you perform, because these things are, they're forever changing.
Speaker: And if again, the goal is to still participate and find joy from movement and fitness and sports, We can't attach our everything to that. And so I think just, you know, there's an opportunity as parents to instill athlete brain, cause that's going to make that will translate well into their success into adulthood, regardless of if they're playing sports or not.
Speaker: Um, it'll keep them involved in fitness and hopefully prioritizing that just for their overall like health and longevity. But knowing that we we're checking that ego early, we're like teaching them to not be so rigid and controlling.
Speaker: um We're not attaching their identity to how they perform or what they like needing to be a certain way. you know, in some sports it's, i'm you know, expectations, you know, they're they're like judged on perfection. Like we think about like dance or gymnastics.
Speaker: So much of those sports are based on being perfect. You have a perfect routine and you look perfect and you have the perfect dancer body or gymnast body. And, and like, that's really hard too, because that stays with them forever.
Speaker: It's very hard to untrain that voice. And so like, this is a little bit of a tangent, but with like the parents that I, you know, talk to or coaches I work with, it's like, sure, have her do dance or gymnastics, but also like put her on a soccer team. Also put her in jujitsu where like there's,
Speaker: like success comes in a lot of different ways and it's not attached to like what you look like when you're participating. And it's not about getting a perfect score. It's about like creating almost perfect moments with teammates.
Speaker: Yeah. And I'd love for you to take us into some of those conversations because right now, for example, wrestling, basketball, like that is Cade's world.
Speaker: And where If we're looking at a child development, Lee, he's right in this this phase three where everything is concrete. It's very difficult for him to see outside of six inches right in front of his face.
Speaker: So how are you helping instill these behaviors or maybe opportunities for him to to regulate himself before he can start to see goals in the future and be ready for that formal brain?
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, I think we just keep it fun. Like we don't put pressure on him to win. We don't put pressure on him to like, or i just want you to go out there and i want you to have a good time. I don' want you to play hard. want you be respectful. Like, and if you could do those things, I don't care. Like, I don't care if you strike out. I don't care what happens out there. i care that you work hard and I care that you have a good attitude.
Speaker: And I think that also plays well into not just doing one sport. Like he did tackle football and that went it and then that went into wrestling season. And then wrestling went into basketball season and now basketball is going into rugby and baseball track. Like it just keeps flowing. So then he's not just doing any one sport. And if he's not as good at something, it's okay. Cause there's other things for him to try and to get good at. And all of these things are just going to keep,
Speaker: creating like a well-rounded human, not just athlete, but he he's getting exposure to different coaches, different movement patterns, um, different like energy dynamics, depending on the sport and the teammates, um, different roles. So sometimes he might be the guy other times he's just going to be like, uh, like a supporting, a supporting role, you know what I mean? On the team. And I think that helps balance that ego, those expectations, um,
Speaker: He's definitely a kid that had to learn to lose at a very young age. Like we really learned that at a young age. So then Jared and I would like go hard against him. cause we're like, no, you're not winning it. not going to let you win at basketball. We're going to, we will win. I love it. So like, he'll like try to race Jared and like ah a, 40, he can kick my ass. Now I don't have it. I don't stand a chance, but like, and Jared can still take them. So we still got him right now, but not for much longer. And same in jujitsu. Like he's been training that since he was four.
Speaker: And this when he starts putting on sides, he'll take us. But that's also why we got to keep doing training. Yeah. Yeah. So that we share that.
Speaker: I'd love taking on this question from parents. So when are you going to start to introduce the barbell for the boys? Yeah. it's It has been introduced. And we started doing that. um My youngest is more like kettlebell and dumbbells and he, it's like very play based for him. He goes into the garage and we have a gym in there. And like, again, they've been working out with me since they were babies.
Speaker: Like I would be doing box jumps. They would be doing box jumps or playing on that or like the rings or whatever. Um, they write their own workouts. I actually had this real go viral. Um, like very viral millions and millions and millions. And it was so funny cause that was like by far my most viral thing ever. Um, but it was of the boys working out in the street with the neighborhood boys. They had a ah rower out there.
Speaker: They had the box, they were doing like sprints and they, and they were pushing the sled. And it was like this, like little neighborhood workout going on that they facilitated. And so they started doing that. Um, that was like probably two years ago now.
Speaker: And, but I mean, that they've always played there. I'd say like getting into a really structured lifting routine will probably happen. next year, the summer, I'd say, where it's like, okay, on these mornings, like we're lifting and he wants to do that. I think ah the volume of sport right now is so high, but yeah his strength is really good because he has moved like an athlete.
Speaker: He's had exposure to like slow and be able to control his body, but also change direction. And like, just all that's been instilled at a pretty young age. You should just have them write workouts, random.
Speaker: and then put him on train heroic and he'd make a killing in the CrossFit community. Just a ah rant, you can call the program ran, ran, ran dumb. Yeah. And then by K battles.
Speaker: Yeah. You know what though? He, he has, he has learned to like program pretty well. I like, I like the workouts he does. I'm like, okay, I see what you did here. There's like a conditioning component. There's like a single leg component here. We got something explosive here. Like, I know, but it's a, I'm sure he would, he'd love that idea. Yeah, yeah that that'd be awesome. um I would, perfectionism, and maybe this existed in in your life as an athlete at one point.
Speaker: How do you approach this as a parent? If you see, we can use any, um you know, I hate to use the word toxic behavior, but any behavior where if we let it go, could be dangerous down the road.
Speaker: and example being perfectionism. So of how would you approach this as a parent if you start to see these potential negative behaviors just start to have sparks at a young age?
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's it's just not being that attached. like it's I actually haven't really struggled as much with perfectionism. I don't see those tendencies yet, but I think that it's like, have high expectations, but we are not measuring worth against that. And sometimes good enough really needs to be good enough because that that's actually what wins is like being scrappy. It's not about perfect. Most of the time it is about being scrappy and resilient.
Speaker: Like, and you look at that in sport. Yes. Sometimes there are perfect moments. There's a perfect gymnastics routine. There's this perfect, whatever, but in most cases, success comes from just relentlessness and And if you're committed to being relentless, then you cannot be committed to being perfect because then you will block yourself every time.
Speaker: Oh, I'd rather teach them to be really scrappy in sport and life. um And then I love that the sports he does teaches that. like it it ah Like wrestling, for example, reinforces the idea of like, you can train a million takedowns, but you're not going to get it in real life because these kids are going to give you different looks. And so how you get your takedown is by finding the next thing. You're chaining everything together.
Speaker: One look into the next look and the next look and the next look. And you just have to keep finding it is relentless. That's what gets you to win. Not these perfect moments. And so I think we have an opportunity use sport to counter that perfectionism because that's not reflective of true athleticism.
Speaker: Yeah. Do you, Do you feel you hit pushing Cade and the boys towards team sports versus an individual sport? Like you started your swimming career or is it all, all in balance?
Speaker: Oh, I want them doing it all like sport individual and team. I think there's so much value to both until they find, you know, the one or two things they're really into. But I think from a social, mental and emotional perspective, doing both is, is incredibly important.
Speaker: Incredibly important. You know, they got to learn how to be a teammate. You got to learn to not have it all be about you. You got to learn to work with others. You got to learn what role you play in any given moment on any given team on any given day.
Speaker: Like you have to be very adaptable in team sports and with individual sports, it's being able to bet on yourself and it's being able to sit in your own discomfort where no one else can absorb that for you. Like you have to absorb that.
Speaker: Um, you really, it, it, it pushes you in a different way. And I think it builds confidence in a different way. And if a individual sport starts to kind of lead to that perfectionism and that toxicity, then, oh my God, put your kid in a team sport, let them learn to like share that load of responsibility with other people and like have that, that energy matched by other people, both good. And when they're sitting in it, like when they're sitting in the, um, in the discomfort or the disappointment, like sharing that with teammates is really key.
Speaker: yeah But also learning to like manage that at an individual level is key. So I think all of that helps instill something really valuable that extends so far beyond sport that again, like our kids are growing up more comfortable than in a lot of other circumstances.
Speaker: That's good for them to learn, feel the pressure, share the load, also absorb the load. Yeah. ah Sitting in discomfort, you say that, and I'm curious on how a conversation with the boys would go where in your mind you're thinking, dude, suck it up.
Speaker: How would you frame that where, okay, this is an opportunity for us to build some calluses here on our emotions and be resilient. What is that conversation like? Is it just a a a shame downer?
Speaker: No, don't do this. We have a very specific phrase in our household and every time I give it, I get an eye roll in return, but I love it. I had it on a post-it note on my mirror, in my bathroom for a very long time. And it's like, I will not be committed to my own struggle.
Speaker: And so sometimes I will ask the boys, like, sounds like you're committed to your own struggle right now. So how long do you want to be committed to it? Like, that's not saying that you, you have to move on right now, but You get a choice in this.
Speaker: And so I like to remind them imperfectly that we're not going to be committed to our own struggle. That's not to say you won't struggle. You will struggle. You will absolutely struggle and you will learn to be uncomfortable there, but we're not staying committed to that.
Speaker: That's not your story. Yeah, i I like that. So I have this conversation a lot, it seems, and I feel I've reverted to using the animal kingdom. It's very visual and posturing up and imagine I imagine, don't know if you've read Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life, but the first chapter talks about posture and then the what goes on in our brain and the similar respect of lobsters. If they win a fight, then they big stretch up, breaks their shell and they grow bigger.
Speaker: So if kids are feeling sorry for themselves and down, I just remind them of posture. But it's it's also and it's a theme that I always say, whether we're talking about conditioning,
Speaker: We're not resting on our knees, we're standing tall. So standing tall becomes a similar theme. So now i I feel, yeah, are you committed to your own struggle? What I don't want them to do is not feel anything.
Speaker: I want them to embrace that and then be aware and give them a tool in case they see a teammate that's down. Now they reflect that same tool.
Speaker: That's my aim of that. Yeah, it's pushing them to reframe at a young age be able to writela take that, take their experience and then know what to do with it. Because so many people will just like get mentally and emotionally beat down. And it's like, okay, like I don't have to stay here though. Like I will be here for a bit, but the solution to that feeling is taking unaction.
Speaker: We don't know what that action is going to, you know, like what that outcome is going to be, but it's better than just, again, being committed to your own struggle and sulking and being frustrated. Like that action might be,
Speaker: going over to your teammate who, you know, just dropped the ball and being like, I'm down, but like, Hey man, it's, it's going to be okay. Like we're going to, we're going to run it back next time. Like it's taking leadership in that way, or it's taking leadership when they get back out there on the field, it's taking leadership at the next game or the next practice. It's, there are ways where they can reframe it and kind of get out of their own way with one action. It doesn't have to be significant. And it doesn't mean, well, now they're going to go out there and like score the game winning goal. Like that's not always realistic, but can they go out there and, and have a moment where they do something that is productive and helpful and kind and respectful? Yes. Every kid could go out there and contribute in some way.
Speaker: Time out. Text here at Train Heroic headquarters meeting with the team to talk about the coaching experience that I'm able to provide for my athletes. So if you're a coach and want to put your program out there on an app that athletes actually enjoy using, Train Heroics for you. I've been using it since 2014. delivering literally over tens of thousands of workouts to athletes.
Speaker: And Train Heroic allows me to provide the unique coaching experience that I want to. Uploading video, providing coaching feedback, directions, and building a community, that's why I love Train Heroic. And if you want to take your athletes where they can't take themselves, that they want to go, head to trainheroic.com slash captains and check out how you can deliver programming to them.
Speaker: And now, back to the show. Ready, ready, and we're in.
Speaker: Yeah. I love, I love, love to highlight small wins. So guys that, you know, they're not in the scorebook or they don't score the goals, but they're doing the things right so that they, they, they feel seen. And then their posture goes up because they're, they're getting called out because not everyone can be the hero of every single game.
Speaker: Yeah. I mean, it's just like, you know, your kid, like Cade will play at this age, like against a lot of his friends that he's, played with on other teams and now they play against each other and they're ops, you know, cause we're both involved in middle school kids now. So we can, we can use these words, but he, I love seeing him out there just like giving knuckles to his, to his friend who just struck him out or, you know, or who he he tagged out kids that he's had to wrestle against. so Like I've loved the wrestling community because,
Speaker: they've been so kind and supportive to one another, even though they are ops and they go against each other. And, and it is fricking intense. Like it is so intense. I've even coming from a jujitsu, like wrestling is a different, it's different world. um But man, like, it's just, it's kind. It's being able to be a good teammate. It's being able to be a good opponent.
Speaker: There's so much opportunity there for them to, to feel like, like It's bigger than the sport. It's bigger than the moment. It's not just about them. like Get out of your own way. And the more they can learn that and the more opportunities as parents or coaches that we can point that out, be like, oh my God, I love that you know you you hung out and talked with the kid you just lost against. I love that you talked to him after and like you were congratulatory and you guys laughed and you had a good time. Or I love that you you know your friend just struck you out.
Speaker: And after the game, you were like, man, you pitched so great that game like that. I want to highlight those moments, not just you also hit a great like triple or whatever. Like, yes, those moments are cool to point out. Of course, they want to feel seen and validated for their like athletic effort.
Speaker: But I love pointing out the little things like of just like behavior and things that I saw out there from a that coach brain perspective, not even mom, just like I saw what you did to that kid. I saw what you did as a teammate. I heard you in the dugout losing your mind in a really good way, like just supporting your team. Like you're the loudest one in there. And i love that.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. And it, it, it helps expand his global awareness, situational awareness. Cause now he's going to start to one intentionally do that stuff to, to counteract.
Speaker: some negative feelings he may have, but also call his teammates out when they're being good teammates. Yeah. Teamwork. I call it when I see it. Then kids see that. he's Then he's like reinforcing that and teaching his teammates like, hey, also bring the energy or let's be congratulatory. Let's not like throw our helmet when we strike out. Like, let's just, like like you said, posture. Like, where it's okay.
Speaker: We're going to move on and we're not going to have like a tantrum. Like, it's also kids... having other kids model the behavior that we want to see. Like we need to lean into that. And as coaches or parents acknowledge the kids that we see doing a good job in like as teammates and leaders. So then that can be emulated.
Speaker: You know, something in the, i'd the jujitsu gym, we have like such a range of bodies and ages and abilities, and it can be chaotic, like so much energy in there. And,
Speaker: um just wild. that's very It's very wild. But instead of saying, hey, Andrew, stop doing blah, blah, blah, we'll say, hey, Alyssa, I love that you are like locked in and listening. like I love how you're standing over here against the wall and like quiet and respectful.
Speaker: That's awesome. So like, And that's not always going to happen. You got to check these kids sometimes, but being able to highlight what you like seeing helps other kids hear, okay, like that's the that's what we need to be doing. Cause that's the thing that's getting highlighted and noticed. And that's the expectation, not just like that shit off, you know? All right.
Speaker: Very much so. And I, I, I speak on this often where I say parents are the first line of defense for the kids and the coaches are the last line. Because you're the last one that cares to call out these little nuances, behaviors, because professors won't do it, bosses won't do it, and then it will be costly when the kid is not aware of them and nobody put the boundaries in place for acting like an adult. And and you get the opportunity every single day to do both.
Speaker: Yeah. Parent and coach. All of it. All at the same time. it's It's all so immersed. Yeah. which Which is great. And i do want to give you the opportunity to to highlight what you're doing as well.
Speaker: Because now we talked about modeling behaviors. You're doing this and then empowering your clientele to do the same for their families and take charge. And where fitness is normal.
Speaker: It's yeah weird if you don't work out. so yes So share your journey, your current mission now and and the opportunity you have through Train Heroic. Yeah, well, I um am the CEO and founder of Pregnancy and Postpartum Athleticism, and that supports female athletes through pregnancy and postpartum on behalf of their lifetime of athleticism. It's not just about those seasons. Those just serve as these catalyst seasons for female athletes.
Speaker: And I certify coaches to know how to do the same because you we we both have a background in coaching likely kinesiology, exercise science, something like that. And there just was no talk about supporting women and understanding their bodies through those seasons, nevertheless, like long-term like that just was not in any of our certifications or curriculum. So I've been doing that for, um, about 12 years now. And it really comes down to like this, this athlete mom cycle is like you're, you're female athlete and then maybe eventually become a pregnant athlete. And then you're a postpartum athlete. And then you're an athlete mom. And eventually you start raising this next generation of little athletes.
Speaker: And it's really cool to see how these phases just evolve. And it's because we just keep evolving as an athlete and in our like athletic maturity, you know our athletic IQ, and then how we can instill that so the next generation has a better experience than what we did.
Speaker: you know like We can do better for these kids. We know more. We've experienced more. We've had more longevity than the generations before us in sport and fitness, it's already part of our own ethos. And so now we have an opportunity to raise this next generation. And it just, I feel like it's a really cool full circle that happens. And that's what I really lean into with the brand is, you know, of course, supporting female athletes, getting better education and curriculum out there for coaches through my certification. But ultimately when I look at the,
Speaker: like legacy impact. It's that these women are, they're learning so much about their own body and their own mindset and their own evolution and growth that it's going to put them in a position to do better for their own children and help support their kids as they navigate different fitness and athletic endeavors and experiences. And they're coming into it with just more perspective and maturity and and strategy,
Speaker: And that sets a foundation for the next generation of kids to be very successful, both like in their sports, but as humans, sport and fitness teach so much and they never stopped teaching. Nope. And the kids are always watching.
Speaker: Yeah, they are. And, and like, that's the, the beautiful thing. Like I said, these boys have been with me through it all. Like every, and every coaching environment, every training environment, it is normal for them to see me pushing a sled in the street. It is normal to see me. you know, competing and grappling like dudes that are way bigger than me. Like that is so normal to see their mom like pursue growth, pursue fitness, pursue the idea that like you're never too old to stop competing and getting better or trying something new or being scared or like, I mean, God, they've seen me cry after losing.
Speaker: Like what? You think I grew out of that or something, but no, no, I still care. we wonder where Kate gets it from, you know? But like, so they see me like sit and I'm pissed and I'm mad and I do my thing and i have to like sulk for a second and then and then we move on, you know, not committed to our own struggle. But that took years to learn. And I like that they see that. I like when they see me win and have cool moments, but I also think there's a big opportunity to model what it looks like to lose, to put yourself into the arena, um to be nervous, but also to like not attach a lot to it where I'm like, I just went out there and I competed. It's fine. Like, let's go get hamburgers now. Like we move on like win or lose. Like we're going to go get lunch after like, it's not, it is not consuming.
Speaker: We can care, but it's not consuming. And I think that's how we model what it looks like to have longevity and and enjoyment. Yeah. Wow. that That's a ah beautiful way to put it. We care, but it's, it's not consuming.
Speaker: It's yeah not going to ruin the rest of your day because you got so much to look forward to with, with the family after competition. Yeah. Cause there's more to life. Like, and it's sometimes it's hard to to see that when being an athlete has been a huge part of your identity for so long. And I think this is where, like why i feel even all these years later, so attached to the the mission and business that I do is like,
Speaker: For so many women, they were attached to what they looked like, what they could do, what their training routine was like. And there was just so much attachment to that particular identity and that version of themselves. But who you meet on the other side is so much more gratifying. Like you become a better athlete because you just have such like your your perspective has improved. Even if things are different, different is an incredible opportunity.
Speaker: And that's that's beyond motherhood. that's That's everything. That's realizing like I have no desire to play water polo literally ever again, but God, I still get to compete. I get to train. i still get to have teammates. I get to have that interaction. Like I get to be in an environment that I really love, but also i get like, I get to go lift and be alone and have my headphones in and not talk to anybody and just have like my own structure routine. So it's like, we get to create,
Speaker: the kind of longevity as an athlete that we want. We get that opportunity. And that is instilled by the foundation that's created a young age. It's instilled by good coaches who are teaching kids how to move their bodies. They're teaching them that it feels good to work hard and be sweaty and to get stronger. Like we are establishing that at a young age so that it sustains them as they grow.
Speaker: Amen. Well, Breonna, I'm grateful for this time. I i learned a lot. Just the the parent perspective is I got to I got to coach the parents a lot.
Speaker: So i'm I'm grateful to enter into that mindset, get some phrases and and and perspective from you. If people want to continue to gain growth, expectations, perspective, learn from you, where should they go?
Speaker: um Well, kind of depends on what you're looking for, but I have my podcast is the Practice Brave podcast. If you are a coach or a pregnant or postpartum athlete, my website is pregnancyandpostpartumathleticism.com and then Instagram brianna.battles. And then the brand Instagram is at pregnant.postpartum.athlete.
Speaker: Sweet. And at this moment in the episode, all and i'll I'll put the videos of me coaching up Cade and given him a hard time ah and given the coaches that lost the races to him a hard time too.
Speaker: It was a fun, that was a fun presentation. I really love that. He just loved attaching himself to, you know, all of the coaches yourself included that gave him time and energy. And I think that that's really special. And, and we saw that there, like, you know, like just, he felt so special.
Speaker: and appreciated and valued in that environment as the only kid there, like the only kid. And just that so many people took him in and welcomed him. That was just, that was really cool to see as a mom, but also like professionally with my peers, that he was welcomed in that environment and I was supported as a mom in that environment too.
Speaker: Yeah, well, I'm planning on 2027 doing another practical at National, so we got to run it back. Unintended. Let's do it.
Speaker: All right. Well, thank you, Brianna. Looking forward to, yeah continue to grow in future conversations. Thank you. Thank you. scene thank you for tuning in to another episode of the captains and coaches podcast thank you to brianna for joining me i met coach battles at last year's and nsca national conference i'll be there again this year and then i'll be speaking at the and nsca tactical conference in orlando in august got a lot of other speaking gigs but i encourage you to get out to conferences we were able to sit down connect i met her son kade and we had a great time
Speaker: I hope to meet you out on the road. If you see me out at one of the conferences, don't stop or hesitate to say hello. If you enjoyed the show, I encourage you, please, like, subscribe, rate, and review.
Speaker: All that good stuff, it does truly help us find our audience. Thank you again helping us raise the game.
