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Why old friends keep you poor
133 Plays1 month ago
I’ve gone through multiple life phases—and disappeared from entire friend groups each time. In this video, I share how letting go of people, environments, and even family has helped me grow, evolve, and ultimately succeed. If you’re feeling stuck, this might be the wake-up call you need.
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Transcript
The Philosophy of Letting Go
00:00:00
Speaker
I've disappeared from friends in every phase of my life. My close circle of friends has always remained small and constantly changing. And I really think that I've been able to produce a lot of success because I don't hold on to people or things for very long.
00:00:14
Speaker
My life and friendships has really been divided into three to seven year phases.
From Rebellion to Responsibility
00:00:19
Speaker
When I was younger, you know, late junior high, early high school, I was really just into partying, doing drugs and and getting into trouble.
00:00:27
Speaker
Then after that, once I got into college, I finally cleaned myself up and I started studying really hard. And so I did good in school later in college and then ended up landing an investment banking job. So that was the next phase.
00:00:38
Speaker
And then kind of went into my hustle mode, building my businesses after that. I
Redefining Loyalty: Friends and Family
00:00:42
Speaker
think a big misconception people have is that you've got to be loyal and hold on to your friends and family. And I just don't believe that's true for a lot of them. I think people kind of have to, in some senses, lift themselves up and you've got to do the best you can to lift your own self up.
00:00:55
Speaker
And so when I was in high school, I actually ghosted my friends one summer. These are the kids that I was hanging out with, you know, doing drugs, selling drugs. not going anywhere good. Half those people are in jail now. But when I was summer of my 16th birthday, i basically just ghosted him I literally disappeared that summer and went to a different city where my dad was working.
00:01:15
Speaker
And they thought I literally died. Like they had no idea. they didn't have a way to get ahold of me. um There was no way that they had any idea where I was. This was kind of pre-social
The Power of Separation in Personal Growth
00:01:23
Speaker
media. And that would allow me to do a hard reset on my life at that fairly young age and to turn start turning my life around. Still parted and stuff after that. It took another few years before I discovered self-development and really how to make a big change in my life. But that separation helped a ton.
00:01:40
Speaker
A lot of people say you have to hang on to these friends, you have to hang on to these family members that may not be that good. I think part of it is loyalty, but I really think a bigger part of it is it's more comfortable. It's easier and stay stuck with the same people. It's easier to just say, oh, no, I can't let them go.
00:01:56
Speaker
When in reality, you're just scared to move on. You're scared to... be what I prefer to be, which is a small fish in a big pond as opposed to a big fish in a small pond.
Embracing New Challenges for Success
00:02:05
Speaker
Because if you're the most developed, most successful person in your peer group, you've got nowhere to grow.
00:02:11
Speaker
Versus if you're constantly having to hustle and strive to be bigger and better, not just success financially, but also with your morals and your virtues and the good you're doing in the world. If the people around you are forcing you to do more in those areas also, you can't help but to grow.
00:02:28
Speaker
Now I see the same thing with entrepreneurs. They start off and they're just trying to hustle like I was, trying to figure out how to build any kind of business. I'm literally going to little meetup groups in Austin, Texas that I find online because I didn't have a better option.
00:02:40
Speaker
So they join peer groups like that and then they rise up they build maybe a million dollar business and then now they're the most successful person in that small group and a lot of them end up getting stuck they sort of ride on that success they go back to their friends and family who think that's incredible as opposed to what other people do which is keep trying to elevate themselves to higher and higher peer groups so this happens to entrepreneurs all the time i think the most successful ones find ways to keep getting around people that are more and more successful That's why I keep trying to join new peer groups. I've joined masterminds that are $25,000 a year. i attend vent events where I
Elevating Surroundings for Personal Success
00:03:15
Speaker
know nobody. like I've done a lot of online marketing and e-commerce. A lot of people know me in that space, but I went and I've been to the Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting that's filled with billionaires and people worth all kinds of money that you would have never heard of before, and I know nobody.
00:03:28
Speaker
I feel like a complete outsider, but that's how I keep trying to elevate myself. I try to put myself around other people that are more successful than me. You gotta be willing to let go ah things that aren't serving you anymore. That can be people, that can be your environment, that can be other relationships, it can be friendships, it can be family members.
00:03:45
Speaker
That's how you end up growing is shedding stuff that's no longer serving you. I have some family members today that I love and I'll do whatever I can to take care of them, but I limit my time with them. I'm not going to spend you know as much time with them as I will some other people because I know they're either kind of negative or they have some lifestyle habits that I just don't think are serving them.
00:04:03
Speaker
And I don't want any of that sort of stuff rubbing off on me. you only have one life to live some people are going to lift you up and others are going to drag you down the more time you can spend with people who lift you up and the least amount of time you can spend with people are going to drag you down it's almost like a magnet's going to pull you to greater and greater success