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Ep. 57 Visions Of Lost Lands
107 Plays2 years ago
With visions swirling through the mind of Gwen, our Swords must carry on. What were these visions? What was this dream?
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Transcript
Gwendolyn's Dream Dilemma
00:00:03
Speaker
previously on the higher chores. Where was I? I could smell the elven bread. I could hear the chatter of the people. I could hear the birds singing. Smell the floral arrangements. See the beauty in front of me.
00:00:26
Speaker
But it was a dream. It wasn't real. But it might have been real. Those people. The faces. I've seen them before. Haven't I? Dale's seen it before. But it was a dream. It couldn't be. It couldn't be Alomora. I've never even seen it.
00:00:59
Speaker
Or have I?
00:01:26
Speaker
you're listening to the Hired Swords. The D&D actual play podcast rated five stars by your mom.
00:01:46
Speaker
Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of The Hired
Character Introductions
00:01:51
Speaker
Swords. I am your Dungeon Master, Michael, and with me I have Blaze. He plays Krigs, and Derek is here. I am here, that is correct. And who do you play, Derek? I play Davin Meinstrider. That's right, Davin Meinstrider. Ash is here. Hello. As always, playing Gwendolyn. I play Gwen.
00:02:13
Speaker
Finally, we have Joxer, or actually his name's Mikey, but he plays Joxer. Hey, I'm ready for some walking, but let's not forget about Dale. Yeah, there's also a Dale here. He is only here in spirit. Cheep, cheep. Yeah, don't forget to buy the Dale mug at the higher.store. Just Dale with it.
00:02:36
Speaker
Actually, there's two Dale mugs, right? There's a Dale. There's going to be a new one coming out. The new mug of the month will be another Dale mug. Yeah. It's February. He's a new month. He is the most marketable member. He is. That's true. Too bad all you other fools aren't very interesting. That's true. You're not wrong, though. So I guess by way of recap, I rolled a 12 for recap. So we'll see how this goes.
00:03:02
Speaker
By way of recap, we took a few minutes in the morning at the goblin camp, the goblin village to kind of check on everybody, make sure everybody was good before the party left. And we had some stuff come out about
00:03:21
Speaker
guests finding out he had his self a little love interest and he was apologizing for some stuff the kriegs possibly caught them into and so it was kind of a fun little moment there with kriegs and guests and then we had some travel after that we left and headed north
00:03:38
Speaker
by the northern road straight out of the Goblin
Goblin Village Recap
00:03:42
Speaker
Village. On that path we walked with an uneventful journey and made it to the night with some banter back and forth conversation just kind of talking about their time in the Goblin Village and
00:03:56
Speaker
just discussing things like that and then we ended up at evening time doing some amazing foraging by Craig's as well as some brewing by joxer sitting around the campfire enjoying a foraged meal and some drinks and then going to sleep during that sleep that night Gwendolyn dreamt and she dreamt of a interesting city where she followed actually
00:04:25
Speaker
Dale, a large or she seemed to be a large like human-sized Dale through this town and saw people all over and it was this large beautiful elven city filled covered in white stone with green and gold trimming and then she was awakened right at the end and we pick up right there where Gwen wakes up. It is just barely sunrise and who was keeping watch during that? Do you remember?
00:04:54
Speaker
I was pretty sure it was me. Yeah, it has been two weeks since we recorded. So I'm pretty sure it was Joxer. So he hears Gwendolyn kind of wake up. Gwen, do you wake up with a gasp or anything like that? Or how do you think?
Gwendolyn's Dream Reflection
00:05:08
Speaker
She'd probably just wake up. No, Gwendolyn. What's wrong?
00:05:15
Speaker
I, I, and she just looks down at her hands. She, she frantically searches over for a bag just rushing through trying to feel, she pulls out Dale. I, I was there. I think I, I was there with Dale. You, you were aware with Dale. And she just stares at Dale, just like,
00:05:46
Speaker
Almost confused, because she doesn't really know where she was. She can assume that she was an Alomora, but she doesn't particularly know. And looks back at Jockster, I was an Alomora. You were an Alomora? I don't understand. Did you have a dream?
00:06:12
Speaker
No, I was there. Dale was leading me there. Do you? And she's like shaking Dale at him.
00:06:26
Speaker
He showed me the way she's starting to get into like a panic state. Oh, it's okay. I'm sure Dale will reveal his reason for bringing you back when he looks a little less tired.
00:06:48
Speaker
He's not talking to me right now. And she looks back at Dale and she just, she almost wants to get up and just scream, but she, she looks back at Joxer. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe I should, I'm sorry. I just thought it was real. There's nothing to apologize for. You,
00:07:16
Speaker
I mean, if nothing else, it's clearly a sign. We have to be on the right path. I hope so. I just- I know so. And she puts her arms down, she puts Dale down, and she just looks at Joxer. Thank you for grounding me. I should go back to sleep. Thank you, Joxer. And she smiles.
00:07:45
Speaker
slowly but weirdly falls back down to go to sleep. Good night, Gwen. We'll deal with this in the morning. After he says that, she just shakes her head while on the ground and tries to go back to sleep. And I'll walk over and kind of like raise the blanket and kind of pat her on the shoulder. It'll be okay. Just get a little more rest and we'll all talk about it in the morning.
00:08:13
Speaker
You promise? I promise. And Gwen, if you were looking at Gwen, she's squeezing her eyes shut because she just wants to go back to sleep so badly just to feel that hint of fondness of Alomora. Yeah, OK. So she starts to go back to sleep. Jox, are you just continuing to keep watch?
00:08:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'll wait it out. I think that would have kind of stirred me enough to just stay up for a bit longer. I'll just kind of relax. Sure. So you just kind of hang out and make a perception check as the sun starts to rise over the trees. Okay, that will be an 11.
00:09:01
Speaker
All right, you just kind of look through the forest and you're kind of on a sort of a trail. You've got about a 25, 30 foot diameter clearing that you're in. The trees are pretty good size here and pretty close to each other. Pretty thick forest, thick underbrush. And you've kind of moved, you started to move away from where the hills and everything were, moving more into the forest proper.
00:09:27
Speaker
as you were kind of finishing out your travels. And you just see little bits of little motion through the underbrush of you assume to just be critters, things that are either finishing up their night of scavenging and crawling around or beginning their day of doing so.
00:09:47
Speaker
Birds are kind of starting to wake and make their sounds and you do notice the leaves of those that aren't going to stay green all year have started to change and shift. The season is shifting and it's cool out. I mean, it's very, very cool. A slight cold breeze blowing through.
00:10:07
Speaker
And not unseasonably, not anything ominous, just that cool autumn breeze. And the sun over the next 10, 15 minutes makes its way up high enough to really shine down on everyone over the treetops. And it is full morning. Rise and shine, everybody. It's time to start moving again, or at least waking up. All right. All right. It's time for another day of walking, my favorite thing.
00:10:38
Speaker
It was a pretty quiet night overall. Someone was stirred in the morning, or in the evening. What? Craig's? Are you up? I don't think I want to. Alright, but I don't think you really have a choice unless you want to sleep here while we travel without you.
00:11:00
Speaker
I get up, I'd start putting my belongings back together and just like ready to travel. And then I sit there just grumpily like, ugh. I don't want to walk. Why can't I just fly?
00:11:17
Speaker
I mean, I mean, typically you can. Sure. That's true. Gwendolyn sluggishly wakes up. She doesn't really say hello to anyone and she just kind of packs, she's extremely tired. As much as she tried to go to sleep, back to sleep last night, she just had a hard time. A fine pair of faces we are all this morning. It's making me take this away a long, long day of trouble. The way we all look.
00:11:46
Speaker
I could definitely get the same feeling, Devon. We'll walk and talk when everybody's ready but I think Gwendolyn needs to bring up a dream she had or at least a vision maybe. Weird question. Do I remember the dream? I would assume I would. Yeah. Yeah, you remember it for sure.
00:12:14
Speaker
And you can see that Gwendolyn's trying to get her thoughts straight because she's exhausted. I was in Olimora. It might have been a dream like Juxr was telling me, but it felt real. And she kind of just looks like the sad little kid that's like, no, it wasn't a dream. It was real. But she obviously doesn't know.
00:12:42
Speaker
I mean, could it have just been the stories you've heard? Were you? No, no. I saw the gates. I saw the people. I felt the warmth of the city. Maybe it was a dream. She starts rubbing her eyes. Imaginations are a pretty powerful thing. I mean, if this is what's really undermined, it's not surprising that you could imagine what it would maybe look like.
00:13:13
Speaker
Maybe Dale doesn't even remember anything I mean it felt real. Even even if it were to be a dream that there are plenty of.
00:13:29
Speaker
religious beliefs, that that could be a sign that maybe we are heading in the direction. I mean, I just feel that maybe it's more of a foresight than anything. I'm not gonna say that it's, you know, a dream by itself, but maybe it does mean something more. Quindlin, look, I'm not discrediting your evening and the experiences you've had. I just want you to be aware and at least prepared
00:14:00
Speaker
If this was a dream and if the direction we're headed isn't headed towards, well, your father or these dancers, I just want you to be prepared and not... I've been disappointed in myself many times and I don't want this to break you. She just stares at you with puppy dog eyes. Okay, and she looks away.
00:14:25
Speaker
Well, here's what I know. And Davin kind of stretches his arms out and presents
Morning Preparations and Banter
00:14:28
Speaker
the area around them. He says, it's not here. I can tell you that. So whichever direction we go is only more potential that we're getting closer to it. So I say we just get up and start moving. I said I didn't want to, but for Gwen, I guess I will. And I stand up and just stretch.
00:14:47
Speaker
There's that energy I'm so used to seeing, Krix. Let's... Shut it, monk. Oh, maybe I should have fed you a couple more stout drinks. You're getting crankier every day. You're not wrong. I could have taken a few extra. I'll do better next round.
00:15:10
Speaker
I'm going to pull out the wand and I'm going to use it. I'm just going to create a bunch of food. Okay. I said, maybe if we get some good food in our stomach, it'll be help. I'm going to go buy that food and I'm going to grab just like the largest portion thing because it has no flavor, just the biggest portioned item. I'm going to hold it up to Daven. And as I walk by, I'm just going to kind of sheepishly look with the, do the thing as I hold it up and like make it taste like something.
00:15:38
Speaker
Yeah, do the thing. Flavor ulatirigal and I'll use prestiditiation to make it taste like sourdough bread. And I take a bite as I'm walking north and just kind of keeping with my pack in hand and I'm like, oh, this is not bad. Just the right amount of sour. A little tangy.
00:16:01
Speaker
Also, does everybody start following him as he goes north? Sure. Grab your food and go. Grab a little food in the water. Go ahead. I'll look over at Krigs as he's kind of enjoying it, and then I'll think of the spiciest thing I've ever had, and then cast Prestidigitation. So it'll be like just biting into a jalapeno or something, or a habanero. Devon, I think you need to work on your magics. My magics are perfect.
00:16:30
Speaker
That went from tangy to terror. I don't think I did anything weird. All right, sorry. I'll try better next time. I just thought you needed a little bit of pep, Krigs. I just added a little spice to it. I take the remaining food that I have in my hand, and I just throw it at Joxer. All right. Full force. Joxer, make a dexterity saving throw. OK. Let's see. That will be 14.
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah, you dodge out of the way just right and Craig says you turn and look you guys have gotten about 100 yards away from where all your where your camp was and you see just a slew of critters and birds have kind of emerged from the forest and have kind of made their way to this pile of food that's left over from that spell. And so there's this little feeding frenzy going on over where you guys had camped and you contributed to the
00:17:27
Speaker
The meal of these creatures of the wilds whenever you cast that spell as well as feeding yourselves. So I'm going to shout back, enjoy the breakfast and keep walking. As you shout, you you see a large blue bird fly down and just kind of like dive bomb the pile.
00:17:45
Speaker
And everything kind of splits out of the way and birds fly up out of his way. And he jumps back up with this giant loaf of bread looking thing and flies off into the distance. Uh, create, just creating this little bit of mayhem down there as little bits of that bread fall in places further away from the, from the pile. Yeah. Yeah. Don't eat the rice. All right. I need everyone now or somebody, anybody now to, uh, please roll.
00:18:15
Speaker
AD 20 for me. You know what? I'm gonna do it. I never do these and I always want to let's see. That's an 11 Awesome. All right. Yeah, you guys as you walk through the Through this kind of path heading thicker and thicker further and further into the the wilds here or into the the forest here again the the
00:18:41
Speaker
Hills on your left, the bottom of this mountain range that Wild Hill kind of sits in is kind of getting less and less visible because the trees are getting thicker and taller. And yeah, it's just kind of a low key, simple journey currently. Any discussion, anything that needs to happen as you guys are just kind of walking, right now no real interesting crazy stuff is happening it seems.
00:19:09
Speaker
So, I have a thing to talk about to a couple of you. Rick? You know, I was definitely jealous about, you know, you having Dale. I don't have Dale. Well, no, I guess... So, I have a little friend and I'm not sure... Never mind, we'll just keep on going. Do you have yourself a sweetie that you haven't told me about?
00:19:39
Speaker
I definitely would not call Spellslots a sweetie. Cause Giss has a sweetie and he told me not to tell, but you're feeling- this feels like sweetie talk. Um, I mean, okay, so, uh, just don't, don't freak out anybody. I just, I, I figure if we're going to be traveling a while and I don't want the, I don't
00:20:04
Speaker
Just get on with it lad. Devon moves away from Joxer. Gwen looks at Dale and is like is he gonna pull out another Dale? So I'll just kind of say spell slots under my breath and then like a hand will just crawl up like under my cloak and then crawl onto my shoulder.
00:20:28
Speaker
I immediately put my shield forward and say, by gods, what is that? I, I, what did I just say? Just, I just, this, this is Spell Slots. Um, he's just here to help us all. That what?
00:20:47
Speaker
I'm telling you, you're like 0 for 2 for not freaking people out with this thing. Nice to meet you, and you see Gwendolyn run up as Joxer's talking. 1 for 3. That's not bad. Yeah. Gonna sit up a handshake of some sort. He'll just put out his pointer finger and wave it so you can grab his pointer finger. I shake it. What does this thing eat?
00:21:16
Speaker
He just jumps up a little bit and looks a little excited on my shoulder. Uh, no, he just exists, I guess. Huh. Well, okay. Welcome. Welcome to the party. Spell slots. He'll crawl up on my head. Chocolate, I have a good idea. Why don't you put that other necklace on it and let me see if I can mind control it.
00:21:44
Speaker
I thought we weren't going to use it. Oh, you're right, you're right, I'm sorry. We shouldn't play around with these things. Yeah. Don't look good at me, though. Have you taken that off since we put it on? Or what's the point of taking it off? It's not like somebody can control me. The other one's in your bag, right? For now. Well, I thought... I don't...
00:22:05
Speaker
Didn't, weren't we told that there could be another, I mean, that there's another part of that that it could maybe control? I don't think that these were exclusive to each other. I thought there was only like two of each color or something like that. We really suck at keeping tabs of our lore.
00:22:37
Speaker
I just, you know, maybe, maybe you shouldn't just wear it consecutively. That's all I'm saying. I agree with jocks, sir.
00:22:50
Speaker
I mean, I could take it for a spin if you wanted a break from the burden of carrying it. I mean, it does look good on you, but I don't mind being a fancy boy for a day. How do I feel about taking the thing off? Do you say that again? How do I feel about taking off the necklace? Make a wisdom saving throw.
00:23:09
Speaker
Interesting. Um, 17 total. Uh, you felt like you, you should like, if you, it's no big deal. If you want to take it off, just take it off. I mean, you guys think there are some, something I should worry about. What did I just don't trust it is all right. You've been wearing it for a while and I don't notice anything.
00:23:32
Speaker
That's a good point. Different about you, per se. But if there is a toll to be taken, it may not be an immediate. It might be best if we rotate out and have, like, keeping watch in a way. I'll take it off and I'll see if it makes any kind of difference if you guys notice anything. And if not, maybe we'll decide after that. I do like it, though. It is pretty. And I'm going to detach and take off the necklace. Make another wisdom saving throw. Oh, boy. That's a 15.
00:24:02
Speaker
Uh, yeah, you take it off. No problem. Okay. There's nothing wrong with it. I'll put it back in my bag. Okay. Regardless, I'm going to keep spell slots around and try not to, you know, show them off to anybody else, but he might join us in a couple of battles or whatever we find ourselves in. All right. Well, I'm glad he got to join.
00:24:30
Speaker
Thank you, Gwen. I appreciate it. Okay, so you continue to kind of march up the road. As we're marching, and if I can find a way in between the cadence of stepping and whatnot, I would like to somewhat sneakily mention to Gwen that it's weird we discussed him trading the necklace off.
00:24:55
Speaker
didn't give it up. He still has possession of it and jocks are still has possession of the other one. And just mentioned like, I guess I'll do it in character. Good idea. Here's all the things I'm going to tell you, but yeah, if we were playing D and D this is what I would do. Yeah, I get it. One moment. Can you, I need, I need a little advice about this, this plant. Um, and as they kind of step away,
00:25:21
Speaker
Don't you think it's kind of strange? The plant? No, no, no. David's looking around for a plant. David didn't seem to be able to relinquish the necklace. Even though he took it off, he kept it in his possession at least. He did, didn't he?
00:25:44
Speaker
I don't trust him, but I also fear for him. We've seen magics that we don't understand, and I just think we need to keep an eye and make sure that your fears are not exactly unfounded about these necklaces. I just want to make sure that we're not, well, getting ourselves into something we're not prepared for.
00:26:08
Speaker
that that's fair I just it is weird isn't it I I knew we should destroy them but yeah I'm with you Dale and I will watch them
00:26:25
Speaker
OK, thank you. So this is Yarrow or I believe Queen's and Lace. What is this here? I say louder than I was previously speaking. Gwen looks at him and she she does an awkward wink. His name's Alfred. Alfred the Yarrow. Yes. Just very awkwardly. Did they just name another plant? I guess Yarrow's another plant.
00:26:53
Speaker
That's true. Alfred's probably upset by now. Your eyes should grow! He loves sunlight. He hates to hear about this. And then I catch back up. I just wanted to have that moment because I am. If that was corn, it would be deaf.
00:27:18
Speaker
Because corn has a bunch of ears. Sorry. OK. All right. So you've traveled about half a day. And as you get through the end of the second half of the day, the sun starts to really shine through. And while the morning was cool and crisp, the sun beating down kind of really warms things up. And you find yourself sweating a little bit, feeling a little toasty. The day feels very clear.
00:27:43
Speaker
Clear and bright out and the forest seems very alive things just as they should be Let's somebody roll a another d20 for me. I'll do it
00:27:56
Speaker
Oh, that's an eight. Um, yeah. So I decided I'd do it. So the, uh, you're walking as you continue to walk, you get this waft of rancid air, this with the breeze, this smell of rot, something rotting ahead as you are walking.
00:28:19
Speaker
Oh, Jackson, I know you said it doesn't eat, but can spell slots do other things? What is that smell? This, this is, this reminds me of you, Krigs. What are you, just, oh, dog, what did you, what did you eat?
00:28:33
Speaker
If I had more food, I would throw it at you again. No, um, Spell Slots doesn't, uh, uh, defecate and he doesn't see either. I don't think it'd be weird if he could smell. I'll look down. Can you smell? It gives you a little finger shake. I'm going to guess not. Also, uh, everyone make perception checks with your noses. All right. All right. Everyone make sniff checks.
00:29:04
Speaker
Oh, oh my. That's actually good. I don't smell anything. I don't smell anything. I can't get to my plus. I got a 10. I got an 18. Nope. I got a seven. I got an 18. I got a 15. Yeah, Gwen, Krigs, and Joxer, it's definitely coming from somewhere, it was like on the breeze carried to you from up ahead of you. It's definitely not like with you guys.
00:29:30
Speaker
Um, let's just, let's just be careful moving forward. Maybe, maybe quietly. I don't know what could make this smell, but. Okay. That sounds good to me. Creek says as he's holding his nose and preparing to walk forward. Um, and I'm going to try to stealth. Like I don't want to disturb something that smells like this if something's hanging around. You see Gwendolyn taking in big, big doses of this wicked smell just
00:30:00
Speaker
going through. It might be this way and she's just pointing and she doesn't like it, but she's still doing it. Her eyes are closing. It's not great. It smells pretty crunchy. That's a good word for it and takes in a big smell again. Devin's already taken a carrot that he had conjured earlier and broken up pieces, stuck it up his nose.
00:30:29
Speaker
I rolled a 12 for stealth. Okay, so he's gonna move up ahead of you guys going sneaky. Are you guys gonna try to sneak too or just let him go ahead or just clamor along? Okay. I'm gonna let him go ahead and clamor along. I don't... You don't stealth good. I can't really stealth very well. I'll try to sneak. Last time I tried to stealth, I came out of the woods saying... Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Oh my god.
00:30:54
Speaker
Before heading up there, I'll cast Mage Armor because I'm now super scared of everything. Yeah, I'll be a few feet behind. I'll be a little ways. All right. And Daven, you're going to stay back with Krigs? Okay, so Krigs and Daven kind of hang back. Yes. Joxer moves up and starts to stealth around while Gwendolyn carefully walks behind, keeping a little bit of distance. You walk this way for a good little while and...
00:31:23
Speaker
probably 10, 15, 20 minutes pass and you come across in the middle of the road, you come across a couple corpses and they look humanoid.
Discovery of Bodies
00:31:36
Speaker
One looks kind of a smaller size and the other looks a little bit larger, not large but like more like medium human type size and both of them shaped more humanoid looking. But you're kind of at a distance to where it's hard to make out any details from this perspective.
00:31:54
Speaker
Is there anything that I can see on like the edges or is there any, any visibility that's like a brown? Make a perception check. Okay. Hey, that's a 17. You kind of scan the tree line along this pathway that you're on and you don't really see any, you don't see any movement. No movement catches your eye. No figures, nothing like that catches your eye.
00:32:22
Speaker
You really don't even feel an unease. You even kind of still, you still hear, and Gwen, you'll notice this too, as you probably, with him standing and looking, you probably happen upon him at this point behind him while he's kind of been sneaking up. You finally catch up and you also, you notice, you hear the birds chirping and critters kind of crawling through the woods like normal. Like it doesn't seem like they've been disturbed in any way recently.
00:32:49
Speaker
Oh, this poor people. I make my way towards Craig's and Devin, were you following like way behind or did you just wait 20 minutes behind? I'm not. I mean, I can still see you. I would have not let you out of my sight. OK, then you'll you'll see me kind of wave you guys on like it seems OK, but I'll still be a little leery about walking up. OK.
00:33:18
Speaker
All right, I'll move forward. As they move forward to catch up, Jockster, are you going to move up towards the bodies or just let Gwen do that? Yeah, I'd have just been a little bit behind her, not right behind. So Gwen walks up and she starts to kind of look and see what there is to see. Jockster's kind of hanging back a little bit, almost peeking over her shoulder just to see if anything happens. It's to Gwendolyn's so he can jump in if necessary. Gwen,
00:33:43
Speaker
What do you want to you approach and you do see a what looks like a halfling woman. And you see a regular sized some sort of male human, it looks like laying there as well. Are these who I think it is? You can make an investigation check as you look at them carefully.
00:34:10
Speaker
Ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Yeah, ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Yeah, ba-da-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba! Hey, everybody! It's me, your favorite local star book! Sorry, this is like our fifth take, uh, because I can't be a person. Uh, I'm here with Blaze. Hello, Blaze. Shut up! Uh, your friendly neighborhood local form. Yeah, that's me.
00:34:38
Speaker
So I want to read a couple of reviews here that you guys sent in. We put out the call and you answered. I don't know why you would answer any call, but thank you. It shows a degree of love and respect that I don't have for anyone. Anyway, thank you so much to Tommy's age.
00:34:59
Speaker
For your review, Thomas H. says, fun adventure, great chemistry. This actual play podcast is fun to listen to, I would hope so. The characters have a great chemistry and the story is developing into a fun mix of classic adventure and mysteries. Thank you so much, Thomas. That's such a great review. Thanks, Thomas. Let's be real, that chemistry is probably 100% David. Let's be real, let's do.
00:35:26
Speaker
Our next review is from Brett Nelson. Thank you so much, Brett. An awesome D&D podcast, all caps. It's a great story with great characters, not to mention a great editor. I love how the DM makes the journey of walking to a mountain the most epic trip ever, which is amazing because that's legit just the storyline of Lord of the Rings. So that comparison, beautiful. I also love...
00:35:56
Speaker
I can't. It's too much. I also love how each person really gets into their role. They start thinking, what would my character do instead of what would I do? Keep up the awesome work. Make sure you follow them on Facebook and Twitter for all the behind the scenes goofs and gags. Oh, the goofs and gaffs. Yeah, for sure. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter. Brett, are you a plant? Brett. Brett, I'm going to need you. I'm going to need you to confirm that you're not a robot.
00:36:24
Speaker
Please select all squares that are stoplights. Blink three times if we're holding you hostage, Brett. Brett. Brett. Are you okay, Brett? That was a good joke. Brett, I need you to select the stop signs. I need you to finish this caption. Select all the boats, Brett, which is a boat.
00:36:52
Speaker
Thank you so much to our listeners. Well, not my listeners, although I guess you're listening to me now and now. You're mine. For submitting these reviews, if you would like me to say your words to you,
00:37:07
Speaker
and more people, please write a review for the Hired Swords on your favorite podcasting app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify. Well, Spotify, I don't think you can write a review. What else you got, Pod? Where can these wonderful people leave reviews? Podchaser, I think is where we got some of these cultivated from. I mean, anywhere that you can leave a review, usually it ends up someplace. And honestly,
00:37:33
Speaker
All of them, any review, helps the show and just makes us feel like absolute gold stars. Once again, if you want people to make podcasts, you have to tell other people that they make podcasts and that they're good. So they'll listen to them and they'll tell other people that they like their podcasts. Go ahead and what do you see as I walk up a little bit more?
00:37:54
Speaker
Gwen is a bit speechless. She's trembling as she touches over the carcass to see where the wounds were, what happened, and what not.
00:38:05
Speaker
And if it's who I think it is, I'm going to be very upset as a player. Oh, no, I said investigation. Seven plus two. OK, the nine. I was going to say not really having seen Gwen at this this speed and how how close she's gotten to whatever is in the road and not really having an aversion to death as I've come into contact with it many times.
00:38:34
Speaker
I would have approached it as well. So if possible, I'd like to also make an investigation check. Sure. You can make it while I explain what she saw, because I think you're going to kind of walk up on her a little bit after she has done this, just from the distance you were behind her. But yeah, you definitely can make one as you walk up, look over her as she's kneeling down. You do feel over the wounds and you look real closely and you can tell that the face is of both of these people.
00:38:59
Speaker
is barely it's barely recognizable as a face much less a who like whose face right there it's it's been. Scratched and bitten and packed there are no eyeballs there's no tongue on either one of them they're both just laying there they've been there and having had scavengers have already had their way with most of what this these these bodies had.
00:39:27
Speaker
You don't find any identifying anything that seems familiar to you either. Krigs, what did you roll?
00:39:34
Speaker
19 plus zero. So, Chris, as you approach, you see instantly that the one, the larger is a male human. You can, there is a ear left and there is some feature that makes it pretty clear to you that this was not an elf, it was a human. The people Gwendolyn's thinking of was an elf and a halfling. Yeah. Yes.
00:40:04
Speaker
So this halfling even is quite thin, quite small, very fit, more of a lean kind of person.
00:40:19
Speaker
Like a more round, rotund kind of halfling or even more like a buff swole. Right. I mean, like how, how old are the corpses? Like if I, I've been around bodies and had to bury soldiers and had to do things like that, the decay process, how can I determine a rough estimate of how long these corpses have been here? Cause the smell that would be a long time medicine check. And I'll let you make it with advantage because of your background. Sure.
00:40:48
Speaker
Uh, 16 plus one. So 17. All right. So with a 17, uh, it's hard to know exactly like, Oh, this is, they died six weeks ago, but you definitely, from the fact that there are no scavengers around. Meaning there's not anything left for them to feast on here. Uh, and the fact that they've been kind of opened up from, you know, chest wasted.
00:41:17
Speaker
The insides have been eaten. You can see like a spine through the gut where the guts would be, even though they're laying on their back. Like they're, they're just emptied out by scavengers. They've been here. They had to have been here days, if not weeks. And, um, they are in for, as, as you kind of looked earlier with your regular perception check, you, you also see that they aren't carrying any kind of weapons or anything. They don't, they're not wearing armor. They're wearing just normal kind of commoners clothes.
00:41:45
Speaker
And they have a. Any like sigils or regalia of any kind of like townships or anything that would have. Both of them have pouches on their waist that they're carrying and and they're the male the bigger male guy has.
00:42:04
Speaker
three small pouches and he has one quite large one there that has been kind of ripped open and there seems to be some sort like there seems to have been something eating or going into what was inside of that like they it was digging in and trying to something has kind of dug into that bag and it's torn up into pieces in shredded in places because of that as well. Okay.
00:42:29
Speaker
Gwen, so this is obviously what we were smelling, these very, very poor folk here. I was afraid this may have been our friend's Marius and Edie from Wild Hill, but this male is definitely not an elf. It's clearly not them. If you look at the ear, it's a human ear as opposed to an elven ear that's intact. So luckily we know that they are at least safe, at least as far as we know.
00:42:56
Speaker
I hope there are, but what could have done this? I... It's been picked so bad, I can't even tell where the first blow landed. I just... And she just... It's definitely a sight to behold.
Investigating the Attack
00:43:13
Speaker
Out in the wilds and up north here, I'm not sure which vermin or creature might be here that may have been able to pick a body apart quite like this, but if nothing else,
00:43:25
Speaker
Do you all think we should pay at least a moment to put to rest these folk? Whatever fate they may have had, do we have time to maybe at least find a small burial or small service or ceremony, whatever we can give to at least put these holes to rest? I don't mind.
00:43:46
Speaker
Did they have anything on them? I see a couple bags. Maybe we could look to see if maybe they have anything in there that maybe might identify them before we try to put them to rest. I mean, absolutely. If you have no problem when I would like to maybe see if they have identification or something we might be able to get some more information from, would you be bothered by that?
00:44:13
Speaker
I think it's, we need a right to know who we're burying. Exactly. She shrugs and just, not really shrugs, but she just sighs, I guess, and gets the pouches and passes it to each person because he said there was like four pouches total. Yeah, she's got a pretty good sized one. He has got one large one. Yeah, I think it was- Yeah. Okay. I take the halflings first and hand it to Joxer and then
00:44:40
Speaker
crawl over to where the mail was and take his pouches. When you pass one of the smaller pouches, it jingles when you get it. Daven will take it and he kind of shakes a little bit. Sounds like coin. Yeah, inside are a few coins, gold coins and one much larger golden coin. And if you look at it closely, it is a hired sword coin. I pull it out and I show it to everybody.
00:45:10
Speaker
Looks like they weren't just regular commoners. Oh, why would they not have weapons? Kind of reluctantly, but also assured in his actions. I'm gonna I'm gonna hold my hand out to Davin just like I I'll take that. I'll hand it over. I pocket that. So I have a second or technically a third hired sword coin at this point. Yes, you do. What about the other ones?
00:45:35
Speaker
I'll go ahead and open my pouch that was handed. I don't know which one I have, but I will look at the one that was torn open. So you look inside the one that was torn open and and there's not much left in there, but you can see what's left of little crumbs of mushrooms and roots and different like bits of foraging items, things that had been foraged. And it seems like something with while some creatures were feasting on the flesh, some other creatures that preferred
00:46:05
Speaker
an easier meal than hunting or looking for stuff themselves went ahead and feasted on some of the stuff in this pouch as well. And then, Krigs, as you look into your pouch, you see a collection, collections of herbs and things folded into
00:46:21
Speaker
pieces of cloth and labeled and there's some, they're labeled in common and there's a stack of several of them that say for bandages, there's a couple that say for illness and this is a herbalist kit that has kind of labeled items for kind of
00:46:47
Speaker
Like natural remedy for different things that somebody may be experiencing on Does it seem yeah, they seem to be fine. Nothing's really messed with these. It doesn't seem like When I believe we have ourselves a project with with this potentially I didn't this is new to me Maybe there could be some use for these medicinally. That is these herbs and
00:47:11
Speaker
Oh, let me see. And she'll stand over the kid and look at the kid, kind of point out that they're labeled for different things. Okay. Gwen looks down at the guy and thank you for this gift. I'm sorry. And I should go back. Yeah, sure. I just feel like it's appropriate. I do. What is the salute of the dwarven armies? Like what, what is the motion that is done to salute?
00:47:41
Speaker
The Dwarven... For those that didn't see, we have cameras on and Derek is being a fool. The Dwarven Salute is kind of a very... It's less arms and more just stature, more stance. You stand very straight, kind of click feet together and you kind of pose very soldier-ish in a way, but arms are at the side and you basically just look kind of like one of the
00:48:11
Speaker
In the Dwarven towns and in the Dwarven cities, they have statues that guard. It's lore for Dwarven time and heroes that we've had. You have the large statues of the heroes of old and you stand very similar to those statues as they protect the city and that is the Dwarven. Dwarven salute is to just stand tall and strong for as tall as you can be. All right. Cool. And I'll kind of bow my head and then start
00:48:40
Speaker
Looking through the bag that I have. The bag that you have is.
00:48:45
Speaker
Yeah. It was from the halfling. That bag is full of small vials that they all contain different colored, like powdered substances, different, different things. And these are, uh, these are not labeled. Um, but, uh, there's some that are short, like a lower amount than others and like some venues, some habit, but they've, they've got these small vials probably.
00:49:11
Speaker
two and a half, three inch tall vials with little corks in the top of them. And there's probably 12, 13, there's 12 of these little vials in there.
00:49:22
Speaker
No, actually, there's a couple red, different shades of red, and there's a few green ones. They look like they have some sort of herb of some kind, like smashed down bits of green plant. Different sizes, though, and they look a little different, different shades of green. Just a little collection of some sorts of items like that.
00:49:46
Speaker
Chaksha, is that an alchemist's kit of sorts? I've seen similar. In forging, we do a lot with various chemical components in order to achieve different metal states, but it's similar. The powders and whatnot looks almost like a form of alchemy. I've heard lots of tale of these. Yeah, I believe I saw a couple of these in the monastery, or at least something similar.
00:50:12
Speaker
I have to see if I can recognize some of these herbs in here and maybe I can use them. I'm curious though, to what seemed like hired swords this far north without weapons, unless they were jumped perhaps and their weapons taken from them, the scene here, the story isn't really telling itself.
00:50:35
Speaker
I can agree. Unless they randomly ran out of food and starved right here in the center, I couldn't- You can't imagine that. They seem ample adventurers with their kits and their pack. It's not as unprepared as we've been before. Yeah, and I mean, if this were done by an animal, wouldn't they have kind of dragged them about? Why would they be sitting here together? I don't understand. We also only found just one coin, so it's possible they did just found us, maybe.
00:51:04
Speaker
Maybe a rescue mission or, I mean, who knows at this point. I mean, who carries three different pouches on them? Maybe it belonged to somebody else that was with them. Maybe, but where are they? I also feel it as an animal since these pouches are here. If I was a traitor, I would have taken them to take in the bandages. Can I search the area and see if I see tracks? Make an investigation check. Come here going.
00:51:32
Speaker
And it has been like weeks and stuff. I would also kind of just look around because I'm not, I'm not too sure how I'm feeling about the story of these just laying here. It feels too set up. Sure. You also make invest 16. Look at that. You
00:51:49
Speaker
We interlock our arms and we start walking. We're off to look for tracks. Look at that, look at that. Tracks of nefarious means. We're combing the desert. So you look around and you see animal tracks here and there. Nothing big, nothing scary. And even those seem like they've been there a while. There's definitely no signs of struggle or scuffle of any kind that are left behind right now. Yeah, weird answer. Weird question.
00:52:22
Speaker
Is there any signs that they could have exploded? Like something burst out of them? Yeah. Like I'm talking some alien. Make a, why don't you make a medicine check though? Look real close at them as you lean down. If you just suss with this out, I'm going to lose it. What'd you say? I'm sorry. I blanked because I was rolling. Medicine. Nine plus four, 13. That's not too bad.
00:52:50
Speaker
Why don't you make a nature check as well? Make a nature check as well.
00:52:59
Speaker
You want them to have exploded, don't you? Oh, that one's even better. I do. What kind of sick, twisted, where are you? 17. Do I smell Darnaldi? He cast exploding nerds on them. 17. 17 plus six. That's good. It's hard to tell what happened to these bodies. As you look real close, you're like, I don't know enough about the human body to know what's going on.
00:53:29
Speaker
But you do know a lot about creatures, animals, the critters, and you see bite marks and claw marks pressing that have it's very obvious that the chest cavity and the stomach and everything have been caved in and bitten in and chewed in by some sorts of predators potentially like coyote, wolves, maybe even a bear, but nothing really looks that big. But it's definitely been the insides of them have been
00:53:59
Speaker
concaved in and smushed in by creatures, by animals of some kind. You also, though, notice the human, their spine has been severed, their spinal cord and their spine, as you can look real close. And as you see, there is no way that clean of a cut could have been done by an animal's claw or teeth. There had to have been a blade of some kind stabbed through
00:54:26
Speaker
where the gut would be and through the back of the spine of this person. That's all that to say. I'm sorry, they did not. Dang it.
00:54:41
Speaker
I think I found the cause. I think you guys might have been right. And as gross as it is, I dive in to where the spine is and I move whatever insides are there. I'm sorry. And she moves everything aside and random. I need you guys to be honest with me. Who should be making a constitution saving throw for looking, watching her do this?
00:55:11
Speaker
Devin, for sure. Oh, dad rigs may be fine. He's kind of tough. He's been through some stuff. What about jokes are? Yeah, I'm probably okay. I feel like being in I mean, this specifically is a little rough, but I don't think that with as much drinking as he's done. Some things are. Yeah, like, Devin, would you be confused, but
00:55:37
Speaker
Davin probably wouldn't be very good except for all we can smell is that little bit of carrot up in his nose, so he rolled a 24. As it rises up in Davin's esophagus, he swallows it back down and it just becomes a burp. And one of the carrots shoots out of his nose from the burp kind of going up into his nose and pops out. One bigger pops out. That was for you, my kids, listening.
00:56:06
Speaker
And as you, yeah, it's good. I like it. I don't forget them going. Yeah. And as you look, you all do look down and see, as she points it out, it's very a clean sever of bone and spinal cord right there at the back of this, the lower torso of this body.
00:56:28
Speaker
Do you see it? It looks like he was stabbed in the back and I happened to the halfling too. I see it. Yeah, that's fine. I do the same thing to the halfling. And I go to see if I can find the same puncture wound.
00:56:51
Speaker
David walks away. I'm going to go find us a place to bury. Yeah, as the first time I think Krix was okay. The second time I'm definitely feeling a little squeamish because she is all about it. All right. Yeah, it's a seven.
00:57:06
Speaker
I apologize to the halfling before I do it. Yeah, that makes it way better. I'm apologizing to them. Gwen will make them hanging. Krigs has trouble fighting his mouth fills with vomit, and he has to let a little bit of that spicy sourdough kind of come out of his stomach there and kind of dump that out. I'm going to, after that event, Gwen, please, Gwen, we can just flip her over if there's an entry wound. Come on.
Honoring the Deceased
00:57:35
Speaker
Are you okay? And she just looks up with her little blood hands. I think Jockster is literally just like, he can't be grossed out at how confused, like he's just in awe at what he just watched. One of those things that he doesn't even know what to do right now. He's just, what did I just watch? Can someone press the digitize my brain, please?
00:58:04
Speaker
When it looks at our hands, I just want to, now we know, now we can, you know, look for someone. You're right, Gwen. You step away. And blood is waiting everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Just press the digitization. Yeah, the blood particles, the blood that turns into these little particles and the magic just kind of absorbs them as they go off your hands. And you do note it.
00:58:29
Speaker
Just see Gwen twinkling with all the just animating. There's a pink screen with flowers and she's just. And there are you are able to you are able to see though Gwen as you did get your hands in there a little bit that she doesn't have like a severed spine. But there are organs in there that are cut in half like she's been sliced across the stomach or something that caused what's left of these organs to be sliced. So
00:58:57
Speaker
similar, similar conclusion that she was also killed with some sort of sharp, very sharp blade, large sharp blade. Large not like it doesn't feel like a rapier. And it definitely doesn't feel like a knife or dagger. It's definitely feels like somebody's, you know, long sword or great sword or something like that. Just especially that spine when it's just like, boom, severed. Right.
00:59:22
Speaker
With with that coin I I fear that it might have been a double crossing if there was a third here I wouldn't put it past the denizens of Wild Hill previous to to our stay but
00:59:57
Speaker
Actually, Daven finds a place that looks like pretty nice under a coat, like a nice big tree, and he's going to use mold earth and I can instantly excavate up to five feet of dirt and just can take it out. So I'm just going to make two quick graves over here. Just bring them over. Nice. How are we carrying them?
01:00:01
Speaker
I guess all that's left is to montage the burial.
01:00:16
Speaker
I, I'm going to take out my, uh, my, one of my bedrolls and, or my bedroll and just try to roll one in it and take one at a time. I was about to say, one probably picks up the half lane, but she sees Darkser roll the other one and she's like, I'll let him do it. All right. So you take the bodies over and, and lay them gently, as gently as possible into the grave.
01:00:44
Speaker
And do you are able to use that spell to put the dirt back on them? See, I can if looser, I can instantly excavate it, move it along the ground and deposit up to five feet away. So I would assume I could do it the other way as well. If not, I'm not. I mean, if you want to save your slots or whatever, it's a cantrip. Oh, by all means. Yep. It can also cause the ground around me to become difficult terrain.
01:01:12
Speaker
I can I can do shapes colors and and make it appear like stone. I can spell out words create images well, but just with this thing as Davin. I just got a hammer guys are kind of morning you're standing and you're just kind of like. Not morning necessarily but just kind of getting over not only what you've seen with the bodies but also Gwendolyn's kind of.
01:01:31
Speaker
nonchalant handling of these corpses and CSI Miami style morgue mortician and Daven begins to push the dirt back and he starts to kind of try extra stuff and he I think Daven gets a little distracted by the fact that he can like make some shapes and do some stuff. So as the dirt goes towards
01:01:57
Speaker
to fill these graves, it starts to kind of change colors a little bit sometimes. And then a patch of dirt will go and just look like rock falling on to them. And what else does he do? He names them. He just writes in the dirt above each grave, Candace and Byron. Awesome. When he does that, do we see electricity? The electric pulse just kind of through the name as it writes. It's like the electricity is writing the name.
01:02:28
Speaker
Gwen bends down and places her hands that still have blood on them on both the graves and just says flowers in the elvish, which I think is loth and flowers. She's speaking to plants. Yeah, the flowers that are nearby kind of lean that direction and start to kind of grow up towards from the dirt there, just a few. And we have a successful burial.
01:02:56
Speaker
And that will be the conclusion of this episode of the Hired Swords. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
01:03:30
Speaker
Thank you for listening to this episodic installment of The Hired Swords. I bet you weren't expecting that throwback. We really appreciate you joining us for this adventure. If you enjoyed the show, tell a friend about us. And if you really enjoyed it, leave a review. Be sure to check out our shop at thehired.store. And if you want to keep up with us and what we're up to, you can find us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at thehiredswords. And again, thank you for listening.
01:04:06
Speaker
Roll for Romance is a 5E actual play D&D podcast featuring five friends thirsty for D20. If you're a fan of body jokes, ribbled one-liners, and heaps of romance. Romance? In my D&D? Why, I never. Why, in my day, we play Dungeons and Dragons the good, old-fashioned way. No need for Afro-DZX.
01:04:31
Speaker
From sexy shenanigans to star-crossed lovers, each episode is ribbed for your oral pleasure. I think I've got the vapors. Oh. Oh, my. Here's an out-of-contact sneak peek. Dammit, Meelace. Chadley's a squirrel, not a doctor.
01:04:49
Speaker
Madam, I take out the trash, not pleasure it. Are you gonna finally kiss me, sugar? Or do I have to lie to my diary again? I'll probably waste away from some tragic disease.