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Ep. 84 Peppercorny
239 Plays2 years ago
Further into the forgotten lands the Swords explore the surrounding areas, uncovering the mysteries of Gwendolyn's heritage.
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Transcript
Introduction & Character Background
00:00:04
Speaker
previously on the hired swords. Dwarves tend to get a lot of assumptions about us. We're a cold, calculated people, more headstrong than humans or elves, stubborn. That might be true. They usually tighten it families as well. It's been difficult to watch as Gwendolyn yearns so greatly to know more of her father and of her people.
00:00:32
Speaker
If we can give her answers, then maybe this whole journey has been worth it. I just have a bad feeling about lands that look like ghosts of their former selves.
Podcast Introduction by Michael
00:01:03
Speaker
you're listening to the Hired Swords, a podcast about a sorcerer who finally admits he's actually a demon boy.
00:01:24
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Welcome to another darn episode of The Hired Swords. My name's Michael, and I'm your Dungeon Master. And I just wanted to slow things down a little bit and just experience this moment with you. I'm also experiencing this moment with Derek, because he's Daven. Hey, first. Yeah, you're the only one whose face I can see. Blaze is also here. Blaze is Sofrin Ember Oak.
00:01:52
Speaker
Sub dogs. Hello. I also have jocks are cool cats. Oh, I'm just going to keep talking now. That's cool. It's cool. People love it in a podcast when more than one person talks at the same time. Mikey's here. He's jockser. Yeah, that's that's me and I like pasta. Oh, good. You have a certain type of pasta that your favorite, like a certain shape because they all taste the same.
00:02:15
Speaker
Oh, they do not all taste the same. I actually had I had a green chili infused pasta last week. That's obviously going to taste different. That's pasta. You just said it all shape shape. I don't know. Is this some pasta cast now? Yes. It seems like pasta sword. Yeah. No. I don't know. I haven't introduced you yet. All sorts of maybe I don't want to be introduced.
00:02:41
Speaker
All right, well then let's get back to the recap. I'm just kidding. Ash is Gwendolyn. Hi. Ash is Gwendolyn. Hi, guys. I'm here too. I'm sad. I mean, the answer is obviously Penne, right? That Penne is good. Tortoloni. Bow tie. Bow tie.
00:03:00
Speaker
Yeah. I don't need anything so extravagant. There's an OG meal at, at, at all, at OG Olive Garden. They have a bow tie pasta meal. That's real good. It used to be my go-to. I don't remember what it's called now. Anyway, in the last episode of the hired swords, now that everyone's hungry for pasta. I know what I'm doing after this.
Exploration of Spice Village
00:03:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:19
Speaker
We went to this village. Everyone finally made it into the village. We explored a little bit, found some artifacts and some interesting things. Ash found some sort of magical item that she's about halfway through trying to attune to so that she can really know what this thing does.
00:03:35
Speaker
They also explored and learned that this was the village where spice was grown and packaged to be shipped and they did find is our team found a big barrel full. Of these peppercorn type spices one of which suffering took a bite of and just.
00:03:53
Speaker
was in heaven, some real flavor for the first time in a long time. They then stored that very valuable barrel of spice in the brew hole under the keeping of spell slots, keen, watchful, not eye, fingers, I guess? And then, yeah, and
00:04:15
Speaker
So they then decided to explore a little bit more found a map that kind of showed that there are six of these seem to be six of these villages. Strown in a broken kind of not exact circle around the forest here this area and they were in the of course spice village.
00:04:35
Speaker
there was some more including what looks to be some sort of fruit growers perhaps and some farmers maybe and perhaps even some jewelers and something to do with magic as well and so then they
00:04:49
Speaker
explored to the edge of the village where they saw where Carmen and Daven saw a cart that had that was Worn down and dilapidated like most things here I feel like I've said the word dilapidated more in these podcast episodes that I have my entire life combined but they used this they saw something hanging from this from the handle of this cart the cart broken down and destroyed and beyond there the spice fields that
00:05:18
Speaker
seem to be kind of stuck in a corrupted, frozen version of what this field used to be with spice ready to harvest, but not any longer as it is pretty disgusting with the fog and mist and everything that has overgrown in this place. So that's where we are now. And Davin is standing there with Carmen looking over these fields and at this cart with something hanging from it.
Discovery of Magical Items
00:05:44
Speaker
And that's where they are now. What are you guys going to do? I'm going to go see what's hanging from the cart.
00:05:49
Speaker
If a DM says something twice, you want to know, you got to check it out. That's a good point. A little tip for you new players out there. So you walk towards the cart and when you do, you see that this thing hanging there, some sort of bag, like a satchel with one kind of flap that goes over the top of it. And it's strangely completely uncorrupted and unharmed. Uh, I will use mage hand to lift it up and bring it toward me as I walk toward it.
00:06:16
Speaker
It bites you. No, just kidding. You lift it up and bring it towards you and walk towards it. And as it gets closer, you can see that the stitching of it is a dark gray kind of leather pouch. The stitching is a shiny silver. And there are areas where the stitching is kind of stitched around into runes of some kind.
00:06:39
Speaker
that are, if you look just right, it looks like they're glistening off of sunlight or something, but that's weird because there's no sunlight really here. This looks really nice. I'm going to flip it open and I'm going to look inside. As you look inside, it looks empty. Well, at least I have a nice bag. I'm going to reach down just to make sure there's nothing in it. I'm going to reach my hand down.
00:07:08
Speaker
You reach down your hand and it goes way deep inside of this bag, way further than it should, all the way up to your shoulder if you want. And you have heard of this, you have a bag of holding. You also feel inside of there.
00:07:24
Speaker
Now that you realize what you have, you're like, I want to see what's in here. And so you notice several small bags and a couple of long wooden handles that you can kind of feel the tops of these handles in there as well. I'm just going to take the thing and turn it upside down and see if I can dump everything out of it.
00:07:42
Speaker
Okay. Yeah. At your, at your wish, everything that dumps out, you see there's long handle garden tools, rake, a couple of rakes and some hose and some things like that kind of fall out. You also three bags, small bags filled with some sort of something inside of them also fall out. Carmen says, how did you know that all that would be in there?
00:08:07
Speaker
I just thought of, I just know things. I'm smart. All right. Okay. Okay. Don't be such a, nevermind. I'm sorry. Wow. I've got to open up those small bags that popped out of it and see what's inside those. You have three bags. One's a bag of, it looks like sort of strange purple tomato kind of vegetable.
00:08:29
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One is a leek. They're leeks, like large, almost like green onion looking things. And then a bag of turnips. And inside of them, you notice they are cold, almost like frozen cold inside. And make an investigation check as you kind of look through the inside of those things more. Not a real difficult one, but we got to roll dice. It's the first dice. 23. Oh yeah. I did good.
00:08:56
Speaker
It's very cold in this bag as you reach down and you find something that does not feel like these leaks. You pull it out and it is a gemstone, a light blue colored gemstone. And when you pull it out of this bag, all of the vegetables inside of this bag thaw immediately. Well, that's neat. Carmen, did you see that? Your hand doesn't feel cold either. I think I like this thing.
00:09:26
Speaker
I, I, guys, I found some stuff. Guys? Oh, uh, uh, yeah. What spices? Flavours? I found some rakes. Some turnips. Not as cool turnips.
Cooking with Magical Vegetables
00:09:42
Speaker
to turn up for what? That's the best joke of the night. Boom. Thank you guys for listening. It's been a great episode of the higher standards. And we're done. The best joke that could be told is just told, so we're going to wrap it up.
00:10:00
Speaker
Sorry, it's a quick one, but we'll come back with another. Yeah, we'll come back. We'll come in hot next time. As they approach, I'm going to throw a purple tomato toward Jackson. Oh, don't hold this thing. It is a potato. It's a potato. Oh. Potato. Potato. Purple potato? Yeah. Oh. It was frozen until you took it out of the bag and tossed it to him, and then it's fresh. Nice. What's the deal with the spud, bud?
00:10:30
Speaker
They were perfectly frozen in these bags. And I think it's because of this brew gem thing. I think it's somehow magically like freezes things, keeps them preserved. It's nice. It's cool. I mean, literally cool. So there's, there's more, we have more, we have food is what you say. There's like some potatoes and leeks and a turnips. They're fresh. We could have some decent food for once. That sounds wonderful.
00:10:58
Speaker
I also have to add, I like it. How Davins says potatoes, potato, potato, potato. I also found this bag. It seems to be, um, because I've ever heard of a bag of holding before. It's basically kind of like juxtapose hole, but it stylish. I'm, I'm, I'm familiar. Uh, that just, just keep it away. Don't, don't keep it away.
00:11:26
Speaker
Okay, I'll carry the bag unless somebody else wants to. I already have a bag, but thank you. I've only read about them. They're supposed to be pretty neat. I mean, all this stuff on the ground here was inside of it. Also, of course, there's the fields here, or I'm assuming they did all the spices.
Exploration of Corrupted Spice Fields
00:11:49
Speaker
Grendelan probably walks out a bit into the middle of the field to look like she still rubs the jam.
00:11:55
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Okay. I'm going to pack one hoe away and then the rest of the vegetables. Sorry. And then put that all back in the bag of holding. There is no other name for that. There's no other name for that tool. Sorry. I looked it up. It's the only name for that tool. I just imagine someone like, get in there, Tina, and then you just pack her in and look up there.
00:12:27
Speaker
You never know when a home might come in handy
00:12:33
Speaker
Call it the ground scraper from now on. Actually, I can just move Earth. I can mold Earth. I don't know why I even need it. That's true. You don't need a hole. You can mold Earth. I realize that in the moment that I pull it back out and throw it on the ground. Is the rake a ground scratcher then? Is that the different? Ground scratcher, ground scraper. Yeah. And a shovel is a ground mover. Oh, OK. Which are also the names of the things at Disneyland, I think, right? Oh, those are people movers, never mind. Oh, yeah.
00:13:02
Speaker
Anyway, what are we doing here? Okay.
00:13:08
Speaker
Yeah. So you've got some frozen vegetables, like straight from the Walmart freezer aisle and you have, they're not chopped though. And then you have, uh, any of the garden tools you'd like. And, uh, but you do have this very nice bag of holding. If I put the vegetables back with the blue Jim, the way I found it, do they stay frozen? Does it seem like freeze up immediately? That's really cool. And maybe dangerous in the wrong area. I'm going to put it all away. Well,
00:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, I'll toss you that potato again and see if we have a full pack. All right, we'll make a dinner tonight. Well, the Carmen's kind of walked out a little bit as well and Gwen has walked out looking over the the spice fields. They are.
00:13:58
Speaker
Pretty good, pretty good size. It looks like a few acres worth of growing fields. And like I said, it looks like the sections of the fields had been harvested before whatever happened here happened. And the rest of it is just kind of frozen in time a little bit.
00:14:17
Speaker
not frozen, cold frozen, just stuck the way it was whenever this darkness took over the area. And Carmen kind of looks down and kicks some of the plants and they kind of smudge on his boot and it's more rotted and gross than actual plant life anymore.
Gwendolyn's Reflections on Desolation
00:14:42
Speaker
And Gwen, what are you doing as you look around out there?
00:14:44
Speaker
Oh, I look at him and I would say, cause I heard him kick the ground. What did that plant do to you? I was, I was only checking to see if it was still a plant at all. I don't think these are anything that resemble plants any longer. They, maybe they once were, but not anymore. I mean,
00:15:07
Speaker
They might. Even when someone has passed, they still hold memory. They're still a soul. That's what these guys are. Perhaps. I never really thought of plants having memory or soul. Perhaps I'm wrong. I apologize. I'm sorry, plant. I did not know. I did not know.
00:15:32
Speaker
Oh, I am snickering. I'm turning away and snickering. And he backs away from you, Gwen, back towards the rest of the group off of the fields and just kind of decides better of venturing out with you. I don't want to hang out with this weird girl. Goodbye. I kind of just stand there and look. And I'm just speaking in Elvish now.
00:16:00
Speaker
Dale, what would make these people leave? I understand that it's this darkness, but what caused it? Why drop everything at all? And I reached down and I pushed the plant back in that was kicked out of the ground.
00:16:20
Speaker
Oh, when you when you reach down to pick up that plant, it just disintegrates in your hand. And what you put back in the ground is basically just the little bits of root that were left behind after the stalk and leaves of this plant had been just dissolved away. That's fine. She's still going to try to plant it the best she can. Sure. What? I don't get it. I don't understand.
00:16:52
Speaker
And she kind of just walks away unless the deal says something. Yeah. You hear, well, if you don't understand, I sure don't understand, but maybe there's more to learn. Perhaps. How, how, how do you not know you, I had a dream that you were given to me. Is that true?
00:17:20
Speaker
Well, I don't know if dreams are true. You have me, so somehow you obtained me, but was I given to you or? That makes as much sense as anything, I suppose. But also how you're so clear in your thoughts, I just always knew what you thought. And now hearing them is a different
00:17:48
Speaker
I mean, maybe I'm just really good now at Beanie Druid. You haven't always heard me. Is that what you're saying? No. She kind of, she kind of fit in. You know you haven't always heard me or no, that's not what you're saying. I don't know. Well, if you don't know, I don't know. Does their voice sound familiar to me?
00:18:16
Speaker
Um, I ask because as Ashley, um, I was curious if I've ever heard my father speak. Yeah. Make a history check. Okay. Or your memory. Oh my gosh. Seven plus two nine
00:18:43
Speaker
You do not recognize the voice. It's the elven is very proper and correct.
00:18:54
Speaker
No slang. It's like British English to American English, you know, I mean, I know they have slang, but just classic British English to American English. It's very more it's a lot more proper sounding like the Queen's English would be to those of us who say things like ain't gonna get none of that, you know.
00:19:16
Speaker
I've always heard you, Dale. I just... Your thoughts are coming more clear here and I don't know why that is. Well... I guess if we keep going maybe we'll learn. We just can't stop. What happens if we stop? Well then we'll never know, will we? And maybe you'll stop hearing me at all.
00:19:42
Speaker
I thought you were going to go somewhere deeper with that. And okay. And so Gwen turns around and starts holding her gym. You know, you're not good at storytelling as she walks past Jox here. Devin leans into critics. Doesn't that seem like she's having more of a conversation with nothing these days? I kind of tuned it out about six weeks ago, honestly, but
00:20:12
Speaker
she's, she's piping up a little bit more than usual. Um, she was just, she was just talking, but now it seems like she's, like she's conversing. There's a difference. Sometimes it feels like the same thing to me, but, uh, are you guys speaking near me in, in this or I don't know where you were. I think we're all kind of standing. You're all standing kind of there together. Yeah. By that cart.
00:20:38
Speaker
Okay. Um, you, you really don't want to know what she's saying since she's, she's been using a lot more Elvis lately. I know what's that part. I don't know. Maybe she's just homesick. We're all a little homesick at this point. I think you're probably right. Especially being so nearby the elven lands. And this is something she's been looking for. If this is, you know, the almanora she spoke of.
00:21:04
Speaker
Dave to say that it's inspiring lots of unique qualities in our friend. Yeah, but we haven't found anything. I mean, we found some things, but nothing we're actually looking for, you know? I didn't realize I was looking for those peppercorns, but by all the gods, I am glad I found them. I don't want to sound greedy at all, but...
00:21:25
Speaker
On the map, the thing right to the south of us is a diamond. I mean, I don't know how you guys feel, but I think that should be our next destination. You won't hear me, aren't you? I'm really interested to wonder how far these are. We didn't see it. Obviously we were coming at an angle, but I'm curious how much further each one of these are. Are they going to be a day's travel?
00:21:54
Speaker
Maybe just a short path might be worth holding up a bit and scouting to an extent, but I mean, we have to travel to one. I would be happy to scout ahead if you'd like. I've got a lot of experience doing that safely. It's your choice though. I definitely trust your abilities if you're willing to and if the
00:22:20
Speaker
Companions here have no qualms or quarry. I definitely, yes, you should scout one direction. I think I have an idea for scouting the opposite direction. So maybe we could get a general idea of things at the same time. I like that idea. Divide and conquer.
00:22:42
Speaker
So does that mean we're going to start out camp here for a little while? While we, uh, I could go for perhaps a seasoned meal of over that leak potatoes and turnips. I do have some cookware that I never get to use chanting. Yeah. I think, I think we deserve that. We deserve it or not.
Reminiscing and Future Plans
00:23:08
Speaker
It sounds delicious.
00:23:11
Speaker
Well, there's also no use in sitting outside when we, uh, we have these purpose, perfectly good hots around here. Another good thought. Yes. There are beds. When's the last time you slept in a bed? I reckon it was a goblin village with guests.
00:23:30
Speaker
I mean, if you want to call the beds of the caves an actual bed. You slept in a bed with Giss? I'm not Giss's sweetie. Oh, that's right. I wonder how they're doing. The goblin. Oh yeah, the little one. He has a sweetie. Yeah, he does. So, so they are well after, after Dornaldi left, they are well. Seems to be. I imagine they're thriving now that they're from underneath his thumb.
00:23:58
Speaker
Unless he's made it back, I don't suppose that would be good. They said he was heading this direction, so I really hope he didn't make it around us. Oh, I don't believe he has to travel by foot. Or lots of my horse. No, someone as powerful as Darnaldi can... I hold up my cape by wing?
00:24:25
Speaker
I mean, I believe he could, but I think he has faster ways. Have you have you ever heard of anyone disappearing from one location and appearing immediately at another? I think they call it teleportation. I do recall a race going quite sour to a spell such as that. OK, well.
00:24:47
Speaker
He's pretty powerful. He has that in his arsenal, I believe. So he could be back there and then back here in less than a day, I believe, or perhaps a couple of days. Well, right now we have no idea where he is and it doesn't really matter to us. That's true. So let's relax. We'll get a good meal. We'll scout out these new, these two places that are nearest to us, I guess.
00:25:14
Speaker
He looks around while you're after your, while you're talking and when you're finished says, I don't know how much I can relax here, but I can definitely see myself eating a good meal for once. And at least getting that one eye open kind of sleep that you get in a place like this. Go on. How do you feel about a vegetable soup? Did you say vegetable soup? I think I could pull out something with these vegetables.
00:25:43
Speaker
Oh, I would love some. She said no stutter. She hasn't had vegetable soup since her mom passed. So it's been a year or so. Yeah. Well, I'm going to go back towards the well and I'm going to start getting this stuff taken care of. Um, you guys do whatever you want to do. I'll meet you back over there.
00:26:05
Speaker
Uh, you kind of see Craig's wandering to look for a hut, but as he's, as he's kind of like wandering off alone, he's just chant pepper corns. Oh, give me some, I'll put it in the soup.
00:26:20
Speaker
and Devin's going to take the vegetables and he's going to take out his cookware and he's going to set up a fire and he's going to start putting together a soup. He'll use the wand to make a bunch of water and food that he just throws aside. He just wants the water. You could probably use the food as your firewood because there's not really anything around.
00:26:39
Speaker
You're burning the tapioca food to make real food. There you go. That's what I'm spending the rest of this time doing. Yeah. Um, I'll be, I'll be, you know, getting some, you know, uh, of the, the peppercorn pulling it out, closing up the hole and then, uh, and there is, there's that rock salt in there as well. Oh yeah. Yeah. Definitely for freshness, but there's, there's also a seasoning element to that too.
00:27:06
Speaker
You're making me want soup a little bit, actually. Like, for real. But then, Kriegs, you're just kind of wandering off. What are you wandering off to do? I mean, we have these huts and different things. I'm just trying to see if there's one nearby that is the least elapidated of the rest and somewhere we could maybe be comfortable.
00:27:27
Speaker
Yeah, you you find several that they're all it's some phase of being kind of being torn down by what has happened to this, the rot that has kind of taken over this area. But you you can find a few kind of groups together that
00:27:48
Speaker
The inside isn't as bad as some of the inside of some of the others. And so there are, you know, probably a total of six or seven beds available that don't really have that funky smell, don't have any kind of rot or anything going on on the
00:28:02
Speaker
the beds themselves. Now they're, they're made from kind of bramble and branches and the pillows are just kind of stuffed with, you know, leaves and straw and stuff. That's kind of been worn with time and made not super fluffy and comfortable, like a down feather mattress and pillow would be, but it's better than the ground for sure. Uh, then I'm going to kind of just set a couple of things in there and regroup with the, the gang and
00:28:31
Speaker
you know, inform them that I found a place that's probably as comfortable as it's gonna be here. Okay, and Carmen, as you head off to do that and jocks her heads off to get stuff, Carmen just mentions to Davin as he's walking away, I'll just scout our general area here a little bit, but just to make sure it all is safe before we kind of let our guard down to enjoy a meal and he kind of begins walking the perimeter doing his typical, you know, patrol of like he would do.
00:29:00
Speaker
And Gwen, what are you doing? Gwen probably made her way back over to the well and probably sat up against it and just started looking at the gym again and probably put Dale beside her. And they're probably just talking about nothing much to say, just looking at the stone and examining it. Okay.
00:29:26
Speaker
after a little while that you can start to smell this smell and you realize you haven't really smelled anything other than rot in days except for when that lid was first taken off of that barrel of peppercorns but now you smell not only the peppercorn smell but this just almost like a sauce that make that this these leaks kind of provide this
00:29:49
Speaker
Delicious they kind of when you boil them like that they just kind of melt away and create this kind of thickness in the soup from the starchiness and the potatoes create the same thing and it becomes this really just amazing smell as these flavors all merged together and and you realize Davin you've got plenty of these vegetables left after making what you think is enough soup to feed each other to feed everybody two or three times tonight and let everybody stuff themselves silly and
00:30:19
Speaker
you prepare this meal and Carmen comes back. Krigs has kind of come back and arrived as well as Joxer sitting kind of watching. Your fire's crackling, it's burning fast. You're having to throw those bits of conjured food onto the fire, you know, pretty regularly to keep fuel in there enough to burn. It's burning away quickly, but it's working and there's plenty of that food.
00:30:48
Speaker
You've got your burn pile behind you there. And as Carmen approaches, he says, I don't want to alarm anyone, but I believe we should steer clear of the spice fields.
00:31:01
Speaker
There seems to be some large burrowing holes there. I don't don't know what they are for. I did not want to investigate too closely. But hopefully if we keep our distance, everything will be OK. I definitely recommend having a round of watches tonight, not just all of us letting a guard down too much. Oh.
00:31:25
Speaker
large, burrowing holes. Yes, near the edge of the spice fields far, kind of far towards the edge. I was in the trees. That's why I saw them. I was up high. Gwendolyn's eyes kind of get large and she thinks of the creatures that took one of her elven buddies back at the very beginning of the campaign. Vip. Okay.
Discussion on Burrowing Creatures
00:31:47
Speaker
What, what if it's, what if these are the same creatures that took Vip and she starts to like heavy breathe?
00:31:56
Speaker
That would be a fair reason to leave those mean, mean creatures. Well, Gwen, if you recall, we managed somewhat decently back then.
00:32:12
Speaker
Uh, and I'm going to kind of just like teasingly feel her bicep muscle. I think you've been working out. You probably take one just on your own these days. I mean, and she's blushing. I mean, we took one, but if there's several holes, then I dog, if there's several holes, then I don't know.
00:32:40
Speaker
Tell me this creature. What is it that you mean? I don't know. I wasn't obviously there when you think you may know what these are. Well, it had a very thick carapace and large pincers, right? Yeah. They were not the funnest things in the world, but they're not terrible either. But more importantly to me, it's like we're here looking for answers, right? And those holes might have some sort of answers to them.
00:33:10
Speaker
Let's let's focus on eating, but I agree. We'll take a watch. I feel that I might be able to get maybe some answers out of it after we eat. Maybe I can kind of use the same method to scout in and see if maybe there's no one home, I guess. It could be abandoned just like this place.
00:33:37
Speaker
Anyway, those hopes ready. I think we should, I think we should eat soup. Does anyone have a bowl or their bowls anywhere or there he turns and looks at the huts like he's going to go look for dishes unless you guys say anything. Well, I have, I have mugs normally, normally for brew, but I imagine this would work fairly well. Did you, did you chop the vegetables? Can we eat them? Can we drink these vegetables? I mean, that's a little chunky, but that's the way I like it. Oh yes. Me too.
00:34:04
Speaker
Thank you. And he grabs one of those mugs out of your hand immediately and just, he's pretty excited. My mess kit comes with the shallow bowl. So I will use the ball. Okay. Shallow bowls are frustrating. Better than a plate. That's true. I trust you didn't hold back on the expensive peppercorn. It's plenty of pepper. Trust me. Yes. And I just get a big old sign of it.
00:34:36
Speaker
Okay. Uh, as, as, uh, Carmen's eating his, yes, you, you didn't dole back on the peppercorn. I could taste it. I like it though. It's good. It's good. And he keeps kind of sipping the, the soup. Well, when you got two spices, you got to make the most of them. Good point. It's various salt and pepper, vegetable soup. It's, it's good. I like it.
00:35:02
Speaker
You don't know a business. This is fantastic. Yes. You know, that feeling when you are so hungry that you can, it's like you've never tasted delicious food before. And so, yes, I wasn't that hungry, but just my taste, my, my, I haven't tasted like in a long time. So it's very good. Krigs.
00:35:24
Speaker
I you see me wiping my mouth like with my the back of my hand and seconds, please. All right. All right. Look, it's good soup. I am hungry. The peppercorn really puts a little hair on the chest. Let's keep it rolling. Let me get some first and she she grabs them. I can't need to go with this.
00:35:54
Speaker
Oh, yes. Yes. Actually, uh, uh, hold on one second. I, I don't know what I heard. Whenever you said brew would be, you would go good with this. Absolutely no idea, but I figured it out. Uh, lay it out, jump down there and, um, and just kind of, uh, maybe, maybe see if I can, I can spice up something else that's already down there. Awesome. You, are you rolling for that? Uh, sure. You just have stuff in stock.
00:36:24
Speaker
A little, yeah, I'll probably roll. Let's see here. Where's that little guy? Krigs, if I be honest with you, I kind of hope that something is down in those holes. I'm hankering for another good fight. I'm starting to enjoy it. Well, just say the word and, Krigs, I just jokingly start rolling up my sleeves. I don't want to fight you. I want to fight something that I can kill. You're afraid to fight me is what you're saying.
00:36:52
Speaker
Well, it depends on what kind of fight we're going to have. I mean, if we're willing to fisticuffs, I'm going to lose. But if it's going to be like whoever can throw the other person back 100 feet with magic, I think I'm going to beat you. I have very strong magics. And I have very strong brews.
00:37:13
Speaker
So, uh, this one, this one's definitely different. The, the peppercorn kind of added a little, little kick to it, but, uh, it's, it's very invigorating. Please, please don't hold back and, and Carmen reaches for one immediately. Yeah. No. And, you know, I'll, I'll pour it out and lay it out so everybody can grab it and take as they want. Um, this would be kind of like a small health potion if, uh, okay.
00:37:41
Speaker
I don't, I don't get anything out of it. So just a little, little extra boost for you. He's drinking and eating. Go ahead. I was going to say, I'm going to have my soup Stein and my beer, my beer Stein and the other hand, just double fisting. Yeah. So that starts to burn on one side and then you drink it and it feels a little better and you, it's addictive. You have, you can't stop either. Oh, this is delectable. I believe we should call this one ale menorah.
00:38:13
Speaker
And I like that. I like that. I think, I think we should, we get back somewhere. We get back to, to, you know what they need in, in, in Wild Hill, they need a restaurant and you open one, you cook the soup, you make your brews and we, we, we call it peppercorns.
00:38:32
Speaker
You know, Carman was just starting to like you. I'm sorry. I think it's good you use this. There's enough peppercorn here to last a year worth of recipes or just to pay for an entire restaurant. You think I don't I don't know. Anyway, I could never trick you for the enterprising type, Carmen.
00:38:53
Speaker
Oh, well, you know, if I won't be able to steal my whole life, someday I'm going to be grateful for the investments I've made. We all got to settle down eventually. This soup is really nice. It is. So I can say that I've definitely considered opening up a shop.
00:39:18
Speaker
little, little curious about who I'd, uh, who I'd bring on for helping with brews right now, you know, spell slots. What about gifts and the goblins? I bet they would love an enterprising opportunity away from their, their little village. Kind of live life a little bit broader.
00:39:38
Speaker
That's true. Oh, you got me. I could, I could probably set up shop with justice and she could sell like at Smith and magic man over there could spend his days with Tolliver and tell wild stories about, well, who knows what. Oh, I don't think she wants to see me again. I'm sorry. That's Tolliver. She, she gives me the heaps. Apparently I give her the heaps. I don't know. You give her the heaps.
00:40:06
Speaker
And don't forget Vail, he could come and play. That goblin knows what he's doing. He really does. That instrument, I've never seen anything like it. Goblin ingenuity for you, honestly. Yes, who knew? I always thought they were just beasts. We all know. You know what you know until you know something different.
00:40:36
Speaker
Well, I mean, I was going to imagining all that, but we need to go back to reality here. Yes. I suppose I should begin some more scouting. I think I made my stomach too full, but I'll walk it off, climb it off. I suppose I've been spending most of my time in the trees. The ground just doesn't feel safe to me. Should we investigate those holes or just leave them be? I, I think I have that under control.
00:41:10
Speaker
Hello, hirelings. It's me, your dungeon master, Michael. I just wanted to invite you to check out an episode of a show called the Everyday DM. I had a conversation with Heath over there and we talked everything from tips and tricks about dungeon mastering, the start of the hired swords. We talk about encouragement, inspiration for new dungeon masters, as well as closing off with my favorite monster featuring a story from one of the episodes of the hired swords as well.
00:41:37
Speaker
So I recommend you go check out his podcast. Listen to a lot of his episodes or all of them because he does a great job and tell him that the higher swords sent you again. That is the everyday DM. You could search any of your podcast apps to find it and there he will be. Thanks again. Enjoy the show.
00:41:56
Speaker
If you can just kind of make sure I don't fall over, I don't know, as I kind of like open up my little book and then look inside and then kind of start focusing.
00:42:08
Speaker
and I'll cast Arcane Eye, which... Basically, a little... I guess you guys can't see it, but... An Invisible Magical Eye hovers within range around me and I can move it 30 feet in any direction with no limit on how far it can move.
00:42:32
Speaker
Um, and I can do this for up to an hour. So I could pretty much just go two to three miles in with, with a little, little eyeball. Okay. All right. So you can move it towards towards there. Um, how close do you have to beat the to it?
00:42:54
Speaker
Yeah, how close do you have to be to it to move it? It doesn't say. No, it says as an action, you can move the eye up to 30 feet in any direction. There is no limit to how far away you can move you away from you. The eye can move.
00:43:08
Speaker
But I can't enter another plane of existence. But you can move 30, like 30 feet per round. Yeah. So every six seconds it can go 30 feet. Got it. That I tell it and I can receive visual information from the eye and it has 30 feet of normal and dark vision. OK. It can also see in all directions.
00:43:31
Speaker
he was doing anything. So I'm sitting there holding my stines and I look at him and he's, he's kind of just like focused. Chrissy, wake up. Is he, as he, is he doing it? I mean, I've seen that blank stare before. Carmen waves his hand in front of his eyes. Yes, I'm concentrating. I'm, I'm, I'm seeing, I'm seeing other things.
00:44:10
Speaker
Yeah, so it's it's gonna start and then I'll I'll probably start yelling at everybody who's who's teasing me, you know back and forth Okay, you the the eye starts to move in the direction of where he said where Carmen said those holes where you get out into the spice fields and it's I suppose it's just hovering like floating above the ground and And yeah, it goes I like the idea of it having to roll across the ground. I
00:44:25
Speaker
Maybe have to watch the drink.
00:44:36
Speaker
Yeah, you see the little hamster ball and it makes its way toward, you kind of direct it towards the backside of the fields, kind of where he said. And sure enough, you see one of these holes burrowed into the ground and it's at first goes straight down.
00:44:54
Speaker
And as you look, as the eye looks straight down, it adjusts, your visual kind of adjusts to more dark vision where you lose a sense of depth a little bit and you lose kind of some of the color that wasn't really much of that anyway. But it almost gets more grainy, you know, as you're looking down. And it starts to go down inside this hole. Do you want to just send them down until just as far as it can?
00:45:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I'm traveling, so. Gotcha. So it goes down inside the hole, turns a corner a little bit.
00:45:32
Speaker
And you start to see these large, probably these holes in the ground, in the bottom of this burrow or hole in the ground. And these smaller holes that are probably the size of like a baseball bat, like the circumference of a baseball bat, pretty good size holes.
00:45:55
Speaker
they, you see like two big holes and then two more big holes and then you see what looks to be like four more indentions, two on each side in the earth, but they're not deep holes like that and
00:46:12
Speaker
The eye continues to move deeper and deeper until finally about, oh, probably about five minutes after getting inside this hole. You think you're, you've gone down pretty deep at this point. There's been a couple of real drop-offs, but then you happen right up onto these nine eyes.
00:46:37
Speaker
and two pincers that look to be the size of a short sword almost just huge pincers and it's just moving the pincers just slightly barely and the eyes are closed and you see this kind of
00:46:58
Speaker
tufts of hair, and you see these eight legs of this thing pulled into itself, and you can see this slight breathing motion as whatever this large, giant, jimungus creature is, is sleeping inside this burrow. That moment, I will lose concentration as it catches me off guard whenever that happens.
00:47:24
Speaker
Oh, yes, it's it's them. Like the same creature? I mean, yes, I just don't remember it being that big. I don't know if it's from the being using that spell, but oh, God, it was the pincers were gigantic. It had hair. Do we do you remember hair last time?
00:47:53
Speaker
I don't. I don't recommend starting that way. There were three of those holes, at least, that I saw. Did they seem connected? Were you able to tell us it all belonged to that one creature, or could there be three of whatever you're talking about? There very well could be three. I only saw one, but they were all connected.
00:48:23
Speaker
So it's hard to tell. They're fairly vast and they can burrow and pop out of the ground from anywhere. It doesn't seem that they're unable to just kind of move as we would walk. Oh no.
00:48:44
Speaker
Um, I, okay. I, I suggest we steer clear. Like you said, I, what do you guys think? By the way, Gwen, about this time you understand this magical item you've been holding and you realize that anything you need to do any kind of like
00:49:13
Speaker
Any kind of work with like any kind of tool you might need this thing will be that for you
00:49:22
Speaker
And so with armor utility knife. So what you have is an all purpose tool, a plus one magical all purpose tool. So you can use it to, you know, use it as a lockpick, use it to to carve something out of stone or into stone or whatever you could think of that a normal tool set would be. This thing will be it for you and you get a plus one on the rolls for it. Oh, my gosh.
00:49:54
Speaker
Needle. Well, is there a benefit for us? There's no benefit to attacking those things, right? Making sure it doesn't surprise us somewhere. Well, I guess there's that, yeah. I mean, those tunnels were vast. I mean, obviously we only saw there, but at least we just I definitely worry that it could go beyond these fields. Well, are we safe being here for the night or should we start moving to the next place away from it?
00:50:24
Speaker
It seemed to sleep. I don't, as long as we don't make too many movements, I can't imagine it's going to just attack in this village that it already hasn't. So I think we'd be safe as you know, and we can keep watch. It's not quite nighttime yet. Are those kinds of creatures nocturnal or would they, are they likely to wake up because the night comes?
00:50:56
Speaker
I don't quite remember. I feel like it was when we were heading back. No, we went there during the day so that it was like afternoon evening. So I guess right now it makes sense for it to sleep. Or well, no, it should be awake right now. Well, we're not for sure. This is the exact same thing either. But if it's sleep right now, I'd say it's more likely nocturnal, right? Because it is not my time yet. And still, if it's leaving now, I would guess it wake up soon.
00:51:27
Speaker
Maybe it got tired? Took a nap? Either way, I think we should at least give ourselves some distance from here. Criggs, you're being awfully quiet. I know you spent some time looking and, you know, making a nice bed for all of us, but we might have to move on.
00:51:56
Speaker
I think I'll trust your judgment. Um, I'm fine to bed down anywhere, honestly, especially after such a good meal, but I don't know. What do you, what do you all, what do you think? Or we could just kill it. I mean, hear me out. This is probably the reason that people left this place, right? They're probably haunted by whatever this creature is. It might even be part of whatever's going on here.
00:52:22
Speaker
I mean, do we want to just leave it? What if we find the people? What if they want to come back to their homes? We could rid the creature and then they could actually do that. I don't hate that idea. We do currently have the upper hand of knowledge of their existence. Do you think it's possible? We set up a bit of a trap for our friends. Carmen, you're one for ambushes.
00:52:50
Speaker
I'm liking the sound of this. I don't necessarily like the sound of putting ourselves in unnecessary danger, but especially for the, the likes of people we don't even know are alive anymore, but I'm sorry. This whole place is unnecessary danger. I kind of agree with Carmen. Why would we want to poke the bear?
00:53:13
Speaker
Is there a bear? No, I'm just kidding, of course. Oh my gosh, Carmen. Sorry, that was more Michael, sorry. I was in character, but Carmen didn't say that. My fear is that it could burrow and attack us anywhere.
00:53:30
Speaker
So with or without helping the people that may or may not be here, we could get it. It could burrow in the next night. It could burrow at any time if it could feel our vibrations and find us. It's like, have you ever seen a spider on the wall and you go to get your shoe and when you come back, the spider's gone and then you can't sleep for like two nights because you're not somewhere in the house? No, I like spiders.
00:53:57
Speaker
Okay, you're the wrong audience for this. I'm just saying some things are just... It's better if you know how to control the situation. I guess. I mean, I'll trust you guys. I just... I'll trust you. We're a group. We make decisions together.
00:54:21
Speaker
But I think we should I think we should handle it now that we know where it is. And I think we should handle it now. I'm I'm with you on that one. I think we could coerce it to come up in a direction that we we can at least get a kind of a surprise attack against it. Ambushion. My axe hammer. Sorry.
00:54:51
Speaker
With our powers combined. Well then, what's your plan? Oh, I don't do that part. Oh, that part's krigs. Well, being that it's a bit of an ambush, what do you suggest, Carmen?
Planning an Ambush on Creatures
00:55:06
Speaker
Well, we'll need to be somewhere hidden, of course. There's plenty of trees around.
00:55:16
Speaker
probably stay off the ground, those of us who can attack without being on the ground. Then, although if they're as large as you say they might be, then perhaps they could reach us wherever we can climb, but I don't know. Then lure them out somehow. I don't know if just disturbing their sleep would do it or I don't know. Does anyone have
00:55:38
Speaker
way to assault them with a lot of something like fire or I don't suppose poison would be effective. Would it acid or I don't know. I do remember, but something in the hole with them.
00:55:52
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we could definitely find something to lure. I feel like Davin could probably conjure some kind of fire for the whole, but I do remember now, I feel like whenever one of it looked at you, it didn't feel right.
00:56:18
Speaker
Yes. So you don't want to at least be too, I don't know. You don't want it to look at you or you to look at it. The creature, something's wrong with it when it looks at you, huh? Yeah. Just it feels like it takes something from you. Honestly, I could have attributed it to gas, but I mean,
00:56:43
Speaker
Why don't we blow up the barrel of peppercorn and make them sneeze out? I beg your pardon? Yeah, we can throw, I mean, I don't know how well that barrel would explode with, but alcohol. I mean, I have barrels of liquid fire sorts. We could, we could probably.
00:57:06
Speaker
I like that. I don't like the idea of burning the alcohol, but I do like the idea of liquid fire. That sounds like a very dangerous and probably, probably a very, um, Oh, I don't know. Bad thing to do to something or someone, but in this case, I think it's, it might be a good idea. Yeah. We could, we could throw one of those down.
00:57:32
Speaker
Uh, and probably light it up with, with something. Um, Davin, I imagine that would be quite easy to do. Krigs is the magic user. He said it himself. I'll show you my magics. I don't know why you guys don't want to use the barrel of peppercorn. I mean, the alcohol is really good. It is. And I, with more peppercorn, I can make more alcohol. I could also buy more alcohol.
00:58:02
Speaker
It was really good. You know what was in that soup? Carrots and leeks and peppercorns, I think. That's the name of the episode, isn't it? Just peppercorns. That'd be perfect. I like it.
00:58:20
Speaker
I guess you're right. I just... I don't know. Give me flavor. Give me heat. Give me... Oh, just something else besides that slop we've... Look, I'm grateful. I'm grateful. But come on, peppercorns.
00:58:41
Speaker
And if we're going to attack these things, then give me fuel. Give me fire. Give me that. Give you that what you desire. Yes. Sorry. That's what I thought of when you said, give me flavor. But seriously, Carmen says, I think fire might be a good approach for this thing. Um,
00:59:07
Speaker
Yeah, and so question. Obviously, I remember the majority of the way through. Do I remember maybe a potential for being able to get fairly close to it from one of the holes that I know was an entry point? The way you.
00:59:28
Speaker
That's what she said. I'm sorry. I felt like you held it as long as you could. I think that you definitely, you definitely think it is a difficult and windy path to get to where this creature was asleep. It's going to be literally someone
00:59:52
Speaker
or something or somehow going inside there to a point. Because you would travel through for five minutes as this eye before you got down there to where you could see the thing. And there was some drop-offs and some turns and twists that you feel like it's going to have to be someone or something going in there, starting that process and getting out. If you want to try to do this while it's asleep.
01:00:21
Speaker
So there is a bit of a difficulty. It had a bit of windy road to get there. So we couldn't just throw it down and explode it. So someone would have to go down there and surprise it and run away with some haste.
01:00:47
Speaker
Look, life is a highway. I'm going to ride it all night long. You're going my way. Would you say that it was more than 500 feet deep? Thirty feet. We said five. I mean, not all of that was 500 one direction. I think I think it would probably be within 500 feet.
01:01:15
Speaker
All right. I mean, I don't need the windiness. I just need like straight up and down. Yeah, I'm pretty sure because it was just a little windy, but it didn't go further away as much as as that. I feel like we could we could make that work. So Craig and I go down there and he lights it up and then I bring him back up. Boom. Boom. Boom.
01:01:45
Speaker
I think that we can do that. And then it's either going to die immediately, which would be nice, or it'll make its way up to the top in which case we're ready. Yeah. I, I think that would work out. I can, and I'll try to like, I don't know, kind of start like figuring out how I draw out the path that I took, which is not going to be a hundred percent, but I don't know how, how well that would be. Cause it.
01:02:10
Speaker
Based on that I'd I'd have a pretty good idea, but I don't have it like full on Because you know secondary site there Okay, so as you make a sleight of hand check or this may get a history check to see how well you remember that
01:02:27
Speaker
and Carmen pulls a bow out from his under his kind of cloak that he's been wearing and he says I can be in the tree here and if the creature comes from its burrow after you've attacked it I can begin increasing the damage we do to it from here
01:02:47
Speaker
What other positions can we take? And as you guys begin to discuss and plan, and Joxer begins to try to draw out his little pathway, that's where we're gonna end the episode as we prepare to do this next time on the Hired Swords. Oi! We're going to kill another monster.
Episode Closure & Call to Action
01:03:14
Speaker
Thank you for listening to this episode of The Hired Swords. If you liked our show, tell a friend about us. And if you really liked our show, do us a favor and leave a review. Or, you know, tweet, shout from the top of a rooftop, whatever you gotta do. If you wanna check out our merch shop, you can find us at thehired.store. And if you wanna keep up with us, you can find us on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram at The Hired Swords. And again, thank you so much for listening.