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Ep. 25: 3 Dogs in a Lab Coat
25 Plays1 day ago
Join Kel, Dr. G, and Dr. M as we spill the kibble on your submitted vet and animal stories. In this episode we talk about the Kentucky Derby, Penquin hugs, and Bernard James. This episode is for entertainment purposes only, please talk to your vet before following any advice heard on this show.
Interested in sharing your own clinic stories? Email us at spill@spillthekibble.com
TW- chicken death, feces, surgery, snakes
"Happy Boy Theme" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Common (creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Overview
00:00:01
Speaker
nor listening to Spill the Kibble, the podcast where I read your submitted stories and have real veterinarians react to them. If you are interested in sharing your clinic story, email us at spill at spill the kibble.com.
00:00:19
Speaker
Please note that this show is not suitable for all listeners. Listener discretion is advised. And with that, let's go to the show.
Meet the Hosts and Listener Stories
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Spill the Kibble. I'm Kel. I am Dr. G. And I'm Dr. Am. And we're here to tell your clinic stories. But first, let's talk about what's going on with
Kentucky Derby Antics
00:00:42
Speaker
you two. Did you go?
00:00:45
Speaker
You guys watch the Kentucky Derby. I don't believe in horses. Okay. Have you ever seen a horse? Which one? A horse fly?
00:00:57
Speaker
Just hearkening back. just har No, I fully believe in horses. I'm just, I'm so allergic to them that I don't even watch them on television. That's understandable. I do watch dog shows a little bit more than I watch horse races, um but I do enjoy looking at all the hats.
00:01:18
Speaker
Uh-huh. That game is strong. What's bigger than a fascinator? What's a plus-size fascinator? Fascinator-er. What are their hats called? An even fascinator-er. Fascinator-er.
00:01:29
Speaker
Fascinator-er. Fascinator-er. Because they're the same like style of hat. One's just real tiny and the other one real big. Maybe it's just personal preference. Mm-hmm.
00:01:41
Speaker
The plume size. Okay. No plume jumps scales. Oh. We're type-type-typing. Guys, a really big fascinator is commonly called hatinator. Stop.
00:01:57
Speaker
It's hatinator. i learned something new. yeah Wow. The more you know. Well, it's a tiny fascinator. because What do you call? mininator?
00:02:10
Speaker
very small fascinator. Petitanator. Petite fascinator, so you were close, or a mini. Yeah. Hattinator is great though. Hard to say, quickly. Get your hattinator, the race is on!
00:02:24
Speaker
You know? see Our horse is going, get your hattinator Did you lead in the pram? Do you think frowned upon because then your big hat would be in the way?
00:02:36
Speaker
i don't think there's rules. I think the bigger the hat, the closer to the horse gods and everybody is down for that at the Kentucky Derby. Have another mint julep if you're upset about it.
00:02:47
Speaker
That is true. The more mint juleps you have, the more fun you'll have, whether you can see the horses or not. I'm sure there are screens like at a Beyonce concert. I'm sure people can see things further than they say.
00:03:00
Speaker
hat cam. Have either of you gone to a horse track before? Still too allergic to even think about it. have. Well, that makes one of us. So tell us.
00:03:12
Speaker
Okay, well, it work had like a work event where we got to go. And they all gave us a voucher so that we could like bid on the horses. Oh, cool. That's cute. Is that bid? love it. Bet on the horses. Sorry. Bet bid. And bring a horse home. Yeah, wait. Is it a horse race or a horse auction?
00:03:32
Speaker
It was a horse a horse race. Then it's a bet. Yeah, it's a bet. So anyway, so I had my little voucher and I like skipped to my loo up to the counter to the guy. I'm like, hi, I have this thing and I don't really know what I'm supposed to do. And he's just like, ah and he just gives me a $20 bill, like turns around and doesn't talk to me. And I said, okay, then I guess I'm not betting on any horses. I win. $20 for my voucher instead. So let I spend it on alcohol.
00:04:01
Speaker
I mean, that's the way to do it. Well, I just pretended I bet on a horse. There's got to be a healthy mix of rookie gamblers at at horse tracks, but definitely on a big day like this, I'm sure the
Podcast Name Tangent
00:04:14
Speaker
tellers are inundated. Yeah, it was so crowded. He didn't, you know...
00:04:19
Speaker
Didn't care. Man, until we get a video component to this, y'all are missing the shoulder action that Kel was thrown out as she walked her way up to the booth. She skipped your loo, for sure. i would I really was. I was just like, well, what do I do? It was a full body walk. And I mean, this man, he had seen stuff, and he was like, I don't want to deal with this. almost slipped up. We almost got her, guys. ah One of these days, she lives with a kid, so she's trickier than other people. Yeah. I know, and I'm really good at, would it be, well, if it's censoring yourself from cussing, it's not code switching, right?
00:04:55
Speaker
I don't think so. That's way, that's much more specific than just not cursing in polite society. Yeah, i think that's just, yeah, being polite. Okay. That's just polite. It's actually.
00:05:07
Speaker
I'm good in real time doing it in my day to day, but when I'm on here with you guys. I'm a bad influence. Yeah. yeah I know it. It's fine. She rowdy.
00:05:19
Speaker
Love it all, Al. When I would go back to our high school, I would have teachers say, oh, your sister, she swears like a sailor. And I'd be like, I don't know because I did it. Listen, good in all other factors. So the the the evil has to come out in some other way. And it was yeah bad words.
00:05:38
Speaker
Didn't you go to Catholic school? Yeah. And for cursing? You were cursing?
Outdated Equipment and Fax Machines
00:05:44
Speaker
Sometimes. What's that meme where it's like, do you have a favorite curse word? Yeah. What is it?
00:05:52
Speaker
you guys know what I'm talking about? No. I can't say it because Kelly will get mad that she has to censor me. I'm just trying not to have us be explicit. I know. That's fair. Hey, speaking of, should we talk about the names of the horses that were in the derby? you guys list these up? Do you know them? No. Tell us. I only know one.
00:06:13
Speaker
I will share them, yes. We know we know the winner, Golden Tempo. on Very exciting, way to go. a few of these are like, I feel like very normal. i i was there were They're a little bit more normal than I expected.
00:06:27
Speaker
um Renegade was another one. True. Commandment, sure. i like Further Ado.
00:06:38
Speaker
That's a fun one, you know? Oh, that's a good one. that. already better. Without further ado. ah Yeah, Albus, we got some some Potterheads at the at the Derby. we've We've reached this level where our generation can now
Munch the Penguin's Eye Surgery Story
00:06:52
Speaker
afford a horse, so this is what you get. um Intrepido. It's a direct translation, yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
I think that would be fun to yell intrepidant. You know, and yeah, it kind of sounds like a Harry Potter spell. Yeah, it does. It does. Next we have litmus test. Great name.
00:07:12
Speaker
and it's very ah Really good. I'm I think I would have put my money on that. Miss test and it would not have gone well. um The next one is so happy, is just cute. OK.
00:07:24
Speaker
You know, um it kind of feels like your child maybe would have named that one so happy. So happy. So happy is the name of this horse. Chief Wallaby is the next one. All right. So he's got a title.
00:07:40
Speaker
And so you do you have to put a little respect on his name. Maybe. hes ah he has an accent and a title. That's all we know about the horse. Danon Bourbon. a little yogurt alcohol mixture.
00:07:54
Speaker
I could see that work. It is Danon, right? Isn't that the yogurt brand? Okay. yeah got do you Don't they often like try to mix the parents' names into one? They kind of like riff off.
00:08:09
Speaker
So maybe one of them was a whiskey and one was named after a yogurt and they added them. Just Yoplait and Rye had a baby. ah yeah Wonderdean. liked that a lot.
00:08:22
Speaker
Only two more. they had Incredibolt. Oh. I know don't like that. I know it's kind of giving like two bit superhero a little.
00:08:34
Speaker
little bit. Yeah, a little bit. And then the final one um was the Puma. But that is the horse that scratched the What does that mean? keith He didn't run.
00:08:48
Speaker
um i heard he threw his rider, his jockey off of him like before anything even happened. And I don't know any other details other than that. It's a mystery until proven otherwise. heard someone saying there was like a real big white horse that bucked up and maybe fell over.
00:09:04
Speaker
Could be. That could be the Puma. Well, don't name your horse after a cat. Only name after a speaker. And then expect him to act un-cat-like. Yeah, that's what a cat would do. Maybe maybe it's a cat that was turned into a horse by the fairy godmother.
00:09:20
Speaker
twelve Twelve cats in a horse costume? Yeah. And they panicked. They heard the gunshot and they were like scattered. Pieces of the horse went in every direction just all poofed up.
00:09:36
Speaker
hoof over here. an ear over there. That'd be crazy. ah When we were musing about what we were going to name this podcast we did think about naming it Two Dogs in a Lab Coat.
00:09:49
Speaker
yes Or Three Dogs in a Lab Coat. That was on the table. still one of my favorite troops. I know. It's always a winner. It has yet to fail. off Maybe i should draw it and make it a t-shirt. There you We'll take in it.
00:10:06
Speaker
a lord Who gets to be the top, though? Who's going to get fooled? Not me. Does it matter? i don't know. Well, um I don't know.
Personal Reflections and Career Choices
00:10:18
Speaker
What's he figuring out? Well, I guess we're assuming that this is classic totem style three blanks in a trench coat. like that What if we're all standing on a chair and that's the legs and then it's three heads coming out?
00:10:31
Speaker
Okay, like a Cerberus situation. yeah It could be a lot. But otherwise, I mean, like, pick your poison. head One head up, two heads in the sleeves.
00:10:42
Speaker
Mm. i think i'm I think I'm the one that's peeking out in between. i undid the buttons. going to be middles? I'm looking out in the middle or the bottom because I've been i've been working on my yeah my quad game. That's fair. can probably support this little tower. In the cheerleader hierarchy, i don't know.
00:11:02
Speaker
I'd have to really think about how we would stack them. Stack them up. It's like a house of cards. Stack them up, knock them down, baby. I think you think you just need to pick. Do you want to be legs? Do you want to be arms? Or do you want to wear the hat?
00:11:19
Speaker
Those are your good three options. How do you look in a fedora? Silly shoes, access to the gun, or the hat. No, is it a surgery cap or is it one of those old-timey doctor-like headlamps?
00:11:33
Speaker
Old-timey headlamp. Yeah. And also, we still use those. i don't as much, but people do. People use loops. Do you use loops? ah Well, loops and the old-timey headband are so different.
00:11:46
Speaker
Well, I feel like it's the modern version of... Okay. Old-timey headband? Is the old-timey headband... It's just a little piece of... It's just piece of metal. I think just reflected light.
00:11:58
Speaker
Like, I feel like light probably, like, wet and they were, like, sunbeaming it at the target. We are we are missing out with that video here. This is... Just imagine I looked really cool reflecting light from my forehead down onto the surgical side. Yes, she looked really cool reflecting light off of her forehead in a completely different room behind you. Okay, so it was a mirror you could fix your lipstick. And it was... it was Someone else could fix their lipstick at you. Yeah.
00:12:33
Speaker
Sit still. Oh, okay. So it was a mirror worn over the physician's eye of choice. That's literally what Wikipedia, your eye of choice.
00:12:46
Speaker
With concave mirror surface facing outward on the whole directly over the physician's eye providing illumination like a ring light. whoa That is a loop, baby. yeah yeah Yeah, it's pretty good. I didn't realize they pulled them down. didn't either. They don't show that in the cartoons.
00:13:03
Speaker
oh Wow. So that's like when they have it up there. That's like when I have my stethoscope around my shoulders. Yeah. that's just Or when a pirate wears it up top. when a That's when pirates are truly on duty.
00:13:17
Speaker
but you know and They're not covering an eyeball. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. I also like that this article article says um it's a simple diagnostic device, but less so in recent decades as they've become largely obsolete. Is there still somebody
Ferret Anatomy Mix-up
00:13:32
Speaker
out there using them?
00:13:34
Speaker
There's at least one person. would think Ashrem says that people are still using them. Listen. Something in your clinic that you feel is so outdated, but you still all use it? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
00:13:46
Speaker
I'm sure there is. i mean, there's some stuff that works better than the new stuff. No, I have one. The fax machine. Ooh. I miss my fax machine. Why?
00:13:59
Speaker
Because it was so easy to send scripts. Oh. Write them and send them off. You have to get on the phone and call. Why can't you do it anymore? We got rid of the fax machine. It costs money because you have to have a phone number for it.
00:14:15
Speaker
So it was not my decision for it to go. I was very sad. I named it and everything. Do you want us to start a GoFundMe for your fax machine? Yes. What did you name it? don't want to talk about it.
00:14:30
Speaker
Dr. M was a fat. I did forget. And it that hurts more than anything. No, I forgot. And that hurts more than anything because I really did love it. But does it feel like I did now? At my office, we had a Ricoh printer and somebody put Suave after it. So we used to call it the Ricoh Suave.
00:14:49
Speaker
that's Fantastic. good well And memorable. Yeah.
00:14:55
Speaker
Yeah. or Should we maybe get to some stories? Yeah, we can do that. Yes, please. Well, to go with our Kentucky Derby theme, the hats are oversized, the mint juleps are flowing, and Cherie DeVoe is making history at the Kentucky Derby. It's time to spill the kippo. Congratulations. Congratulations, Cherie.
00:15:22
Speaker
Okay, so the first story is a news article. that I found on the internet. so it begins, bird conservationists noticed four-year-old Munch, a humble penguin in Chester Zoo, was having difficulty catching fish during feeding times.
00:15:43
Speaker
He started bumping into other members of the zoo's colony of humble penguins. No lunch for lunch. It's one of those things where you you kind of are like, I know that there's multiple kinds of penguins, but I'm never quite sure how many breeds of penguins there are. Like, well, there's the ones that dance, the ones that march, and the ones that surf.
00:16:08
Speaker
And the ones that find pebbles. And the ones that find pebbles. That's at least set Yeah. you cared for penguin? kind have either of you cared for penguin Negative.
00:16:20
Speaker
I have not. There was a moment when, did I even apply for it? In my undergrad, um we had ah a co-op program and one of the options to apply for as a biology major was to ah work the penguin colony.
00:16:36
Speaker
Oh. I ultimately elected not to and rather got a job in the ICU at a big animal hospital in the same city. But yeah, and I'm i'm kind of grateful. it would have been cool to work with penguins, but it was mostly just, you were cleaning a lot of poop. It was a lot of just penguin cleaning for six months.
00:16:53
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. They may not fly like other birds, but they do be pooping like other birds. oh you know That is true. that be that They be pooping. m movie ah No, have you?
00:17:07
Speaker
had any penguin encounters? No penguin encounters. I did when I did um research one summer through vet school, they did let like take us to a zoo and there was like a penguin experience where we got to like go into the room where the penguins were and they would like go and do these little bubbles so you could take pictures with them.
00:17:28
Speaker
So like that's the closest I got, but I wasn't actually taking care of them. I was just up close because I happened to be in vet school. I've only ever seen them at the zoo. Yeah, we'll take it. Yeah. I'm the closest touching one. It used to be a dream of mine to hug a penguin, like in the wild, because they don't really have fear of people. But now I realize, as it had grown up and an animal advocate, that that's inappropriate. You should let animals be.
00:17:53
Speaker
i think everything's scared. I'm scared. I'm scared every day. And that's when you found the platypus and shifted to a fearless creature? No, the platypus has a love of Dr. M's for forever. Oh.
00:18:10
Speaker
Do you want to hug them too? Yeah. Yes. Yes. still do. i still speaking about Honestly, I just want to bask in their presence. That's really all I need. Okay.
00:18:23
Speaker
That's really the GoFundMe we should get. Get Dr. M to the platypus exhibit. All she wants to do is see one. It's all I want. Don't make me cry again. Don't make me cry alone in California. It was so sad. My face was so red.
00:18:40
Speaker
that's all right Well, let's go back to the penguin. Yes, please. Okay, Munch was swimming slower than normal, and he was struggling to dive for fish at feeding times.
00:18:52
Speaker
And if a penguin can't catch a fish, then you know something is amiss. Okay. That's not as good as Munch missing lunch, and I feel like I should get the credit no as the writer.
00:19:05
Speaker
So, the team discovered that Munch had cloudy patches in the lenses of each of his eyes, leaving him with very little sight in his left eye and none at all in his right eye.
00:19:18
Speaker
This meant that only specialist treatment could save his vision. Penguin cataracts, cataracts, cataracts. Vacuum them out of his eyes. Penguin cataracts, cataracts, cataracts.
00:19:32
Speaker
We're gonna vacuum them out of his eyes. That sounds harsher than it is, but. What is it called again? Phacoemulsion? Emulsification. that it?
00:19:45
Speaker
Phacoemulsification, I think you're right. Have you ever had to perform a surgery like that before? Yeah, we don't have the we don't have enough letters after our names. No. That's ophthalmology for sure.
00:19:56
Speaker
It'll let you get that unruly in the eyeball without extra letters. I have been in a room for them, but never performing. Me too. I've monitored an ad for it. It's very fun to watch. It's kind of thrilling. Is it lasers?
00:20:09
Speaker
ah No, it's tiny, tiny vacuum suck them cataracts out of the mice. It's a beaver blade. Is it? I don't remember the details. I just remember seeing it like, and I thought it was cool. I'm pretty sure that it's beaver blade, which I'm also kind of pretty sure is like a double-sided scalpel.
00:20:30
Speaker
Oh. And then, yeah, get that vacuum in there and... um um go know If you had the means and time, would you want to get the extra letters after your name to be able to perform those surgeries? oh Uh, not that one.
00:20:51
Speaker
Eyeballs is little jelly balls with very important nerves. I... You've got to be like so careful. oh and you would want to do, if you were getting letters, they'd be for derm, right? you're too nervy for that one. Probably dermatology or I do really enjoy surgery. I feel like if I had gone down that path, I'd be even better at it than I am.
00:21:15
Speaker
um So probably be those. If you'd done a residency in surgery, you'd be better. Shut up. Yes. All right. Yeah, maybe. don't know. You would spit him. He would have more. Maybe this is the best I can be. Maybe this is where it ends. Can't do any better than I'm already doing. We've all got priorities. went into my internship thinking that I was gunning for dual boarded in emergency critical care and anesthesia. I would be unstoppable. And then I realized don't like to micromanage.
00:21:54
Speaker
That's fair. decided not to get boarded in anything. I had never dreamed of boarding in anything. i was always going to be GP. That was always the plan.
00:22:05
Speaker
Perfect. Well, hey, that's great. Done did it. love Well, let's see what happens to Munch. Yeah, what's going with the platterpus? He's not a platterpus.
00:22:17
Speaker
You don't know what's going on in my brain? it's a penguin. I'm playing this whole thing out. Oh, he's a pangolin? Yeah, he's a penguin.
00:22:25
Speaker
He's penguin. He's a penguin. Okay, so following an assessment by the zoo's team of on-site vets, it was decided that only specialist treatment could save Munch's sight, so animal optics care experts were called in to help perform the zoo's first-ever penguin cataract operation.
00:22:45
Speaker
bua bomb That's very exciting. And then just a few weeks after his surgery, experts at the zoo reported that Munch is back with the rest of the colony and in full recovery. Yay! Munchin' them fishes. Wait.
00:23:03
Speaker
What? You have to keep them out of the water, probably. Well, that's why they said a few weeks. Yeah. Do you think they were just like... might have blacked out, I'm sorry. Wait, you said that?
00:23:15
Speaker
Yeah, after a few weeks, he was back swimming and catching fish. You think they just misted him a little bit? Probably. just give him a taste, get his beak wet? Yeah. Or they got like some sort of like weird like rubber suit that went up to his little neck and they could fill that with water like a bubble boy. I mean, do they have to be in the water all the time? Probably not.
00:23:36
Speaker
They're not really like. to their cute little feathers, though, if they don't get enough water on them. know if it does anything. Penguin vets weigh in. I don't know. Let us know. I do know a penguin vet.
00:23:49
Speaker
Do you? Yeah. Okay. Well, then also maybe you reach out to them and ask them for some penguin stories. Good point. Actually, i oh my gosh, that person was, we went to the same undergrad and she ended up taking that penguin job.
00:24:03
Speaker
Oh, and now we're to penguins? And then we met either in, I don't know, some class or pre-vet club for sure. And then she ended up working in my hospital later. Yeah, I should check in with her.
00:24:14
Speaker
You should. Also, how fun. there was like fate because now she works with penguins. She really needed that. she She did it. And I. That cat just like clocked. Also a job. Clocked that mic. Yeah, it is.
00:24:28
Speaker
She's so sorry. She's soft. You may not have made a ton of sound, but. Okay, well, I have another story. Yes, please. need Okay, so the next story starts.
00:24:40
Speaker
Years ago, i was working at an exotic animal vet clinic when a woman came in with her newly adopted ferret. First ferret ever.
00:24:50
Speaker
She was very excited and very affectionate. Already, what are you guys thinking? How affectionate is she with the Ferris? If your tech came in after seeing this lady and checking her in and they said, oh, she's very excited and very affectionate, what would be your first thought?
00:25:09
Speaker
Am I in the safe space of being one of the girls right now? Yes. Was it rested between her breasts? oh Oh, maybe. that thought Cancel me now. It had the lipsticks. I was going to guess lipstick kiss stains all over it.
00:25:26
Speaker
o Because I get that sometimes where I'm like, oh, there's a bread on you. And they're like, oh, that's just my kisses. And I was like, all right, you probably didn't need to kiss like right before you had a medical exam.
00:25:37
Speaker
It looks like blood, but that's fine. You're bleeding from the top of your head? No, it's just a tiny kiss. Have you ever seen one of those kisses that go, hmm, what's the name of that lipstick? I kind of like that shade.
00:25:49
Speaker
just Ferret Blood by OPI.
00:25:56
Speaker
exactly right. no yeah My assumption would kisses or maybe like, I don't know, that the ferret has like a stupid name. I do have a very sweet client. She is the sweetest baby angel on the planet, but she always describes her cat as sexy.
00:26:11
Speaker
And I don't know why she does that. He is a tuxedo, and so I don't think she means it in that way, but I think she just means like very debonair, and I'm like, let's maybe stop calling him sexy.
00:26:22
Speaker
I think it's okay. Does she have an accent? No. He's sexy. No, she doesn't have any accents at all. Tuxedo. Nope. No. You're really trying. I appreciate you trying to really give her an out, but it doesn't sound like it.
00:26:38
Speaker
Is he intact? No. Yeah, she's fine. She's fine. She just loves him. Just loves him. Yeah. Oh, okay. So this person was calling the ferret sexy. Maybe. That's what I was getting at. Like, maybe he ah or he has a name like this is sexy Rob, my ferret.
00:26:54
Speaker
Sexy, Rob. Yeah. Well, I guess we should find out. yes please. Okay, before the doctor went in, it was my job to cover basic ferret care.
00:27:07
Speaker
So I walked into the exam room and immediately had to keep a perfectly straight face. Yes. Because this woman was holding the ferret like a baby oh and repeatedly kissing its stomach while saying, Mommy just loves you. oh boy.
00:27:23
Speaker
Just loves him. Decidedly unsexy. Okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's fair. I'm glad, though, to be fair. I'm glad it's a more maternal love that we're experiencing, even though it's whole match.
00:27:36
Speaker
i mean, we're not done with the story yet. Fair enough. So I'm standing there professionally disassociating. When she lifts the ferret towards me, proudly displaying its abdomen, says, dead serious.
00:27:53
Speaker
What do you think she said? You want a taste? You want num-num? Or like, you want to give him a little kissy? You want to kiss his little belly, give him little raspberries?
00:28:04
Speaker
but Is this a boy or a girl? That's the question, not me. That's what they that's what she said. Oh. That's fair. Okay, well, she said, he just has the cutest little belly button, doesn't he? I can't stop kissing it.
00:28:22
Speaker
No. no Oh. Oh. Oh.
00:28:32
Speaker
and so i felt my soul leave my body because that belly button was absolutely not a belly button maybe he has outie maybe he has an outie don't think he does i don't think he does hey hey you two what why are you freaking out over a belly button it's a ferret wee wee oh there's belly button there's lint No, it's his wee wee.
00:29:01
Speaker
It's not his belly button. Ew. Do animals even have belly buttons? Not like we do. Not like we we do. If they have an outie, quote unquote, I'm a lay person and I have a dog and I say, wow, he's got an outie belly button. It's probably an umbilical hernia and you should get that checked. Yeah.
00:29:22
Speaker
So they do have like an umbilicus where the umbilical cord obviously like feeds them when they're in utero. But it yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't look like belly button. They don't get tied off like balloons like people. You don't. Yeah.
00:29:39
Speaker
that's rough stuff. So, let's continue and finish up the story. i Maybe it was a tick.
00:29:47
Speaker
I turned about 17 shades of red and using every ounce of clinical calm I possessed, explained... a i explain that what she had been enthusiastically kissing was actually not what she thought it was and then immediately launched into a very fast careful explanation of ferret anatomy before pivoting aggressively into basic health care like my life depended on it yeah leave no room for them to react that's good yep just power through
00:30:26
Speaker
I also like earlier when they said I was professionally disassociating. Do you feel like you do that? Thousand yard stare, yeah. Yeah, sometimes, especially on the phone. Yeah, no, in person I can't on the phone for sure. It just takes one shiny object for me to be miles away. Yeah.
00:30:47
Speaker
Okay, and so the quiet went silent, and then she turned bright red. She did not make eye contact with me for the rest of the appointment. And to her credit, she kept that ferret for many happy years and continued coming to our clinic, but I can confirm she's never kissed his quote-unquote belly button again.
00:31:07
Speaker
at least not in front of you. Yeah. That's rough. Oh... I don't know. how would you How would you handle it? The same way? Would you just power through? Or or would you stay silent and let her just believe what she... li Ignorance is bliss.
00:31:25
Speaker
We have a job. Yeah, we have to educate because it was a misunderst it was a misunderstanding and then it's going to pivot into animal abuse if we don't... Oh, that is true. Yeah.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah. um You know, reading the room is such an important skill, and I think it depends who that person is. By the baby talk, they don't seem as on the level as I may want.
00:31:53
Speaker
oh But also... i think I would have broken character, as I want to do from time to time, and I would have said, oh, girl, I got some news for you. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker
ah that ain't no belly buying girl you gotta stop that and then we would have had like a little kiki about it and I would have been like your secret is safe with me until I tell everyone on the internet oh I i wouldn't goopy I wouldn't be able to go back to that clinic I don't think I would either.
00:32:28
Speaker
I think I would find it. But you know what? There's not. I mean, it's an exotic animal. There might not be other other options. I'm packing my things and moving. If I've been accidentally blowing my ferret, I am i am getting out of dodge.
00:32:41
Speaker
Never to return again. I'm a ghost baby. Yeah, like it never happened. A legend, really. So um this ferret was
Common Pet Owner Misidentifications
00:32:53
Speaker
not named. But what would you think she would have named him?
00:32:58
Speaker
Lil. Richard. Little Richard. Little Richard. um Albert. Sure. Johnston.
00:33:13
Speaker
and and and Then you would have to. like See, here's the thing. This is how you don't have to move away. You have to be like, that is the most embarrassing thing I have ever done. going to double down and make money. I'm going to excuse myself to go to the bathroom and go wash out my mouth with the hottest water that you have. And then we're coming up with a hilarious name for the spirit.
00:33:33
Speaker
yeah And then the purple are like, you're cool. It's fine. um What's a good bee name? What's a good name? and What's a good boy that starts with bee? Billy. Bernard.
00:33:45
Speaker
Bernard James.
00:33:51
Speaker
Perfect. Da Ferret. Yeah. Da Ferret. I think that's perfect. Bernard James, a regal name. Perfect. Wow. That's rough. That's rough.
00:34:04
Speaker
I think I would have broke. oh I would have broken too, but I would have been like, don't be embarrassed. It's totally okay. You had absolutely no idea.
00:34:15
Speaker
your secret is safe. happened before the doc even went in. True. That's true. feel like as the doctor, you have more like leeway to be like, listen.
00:34:27
Speaker
Knock on the door. So, I heard you're freak. yeah
00:34:34
Speaker
Not to shame, Matt. I am going to have to shame. Super freak. Super freak. freaky. What?
00:34:44
Speaker
be like actually about vet assistant was a minor and i have called the cops because you can't do things like that in front of everyone in the hospital was arrested that day yeah true was just it was just safer It's just safer. It was just the way to go.
00:34:58
Speaker
No, that's rough stuff. But honestly, it happens. I mean, I think we've talked on the pod before about the the trope of ah suspecting that a nipple is a tick because people don't always pay attention to anatomy. i also definitely, i don't know if I ever mentioned this in the pod, I had an owner bring in their dog for what they thought was a hot spot. And it was just the dog's normal vulva.
00:35:21
Speaker
And I had to be like, that is their normal female anatomy that you are looking at right there. And it is healthy and good to go. And he said, i am so embarrassed. And I said, don't be. It's okay. I'm just happy it wasn't anything concerning.
00:35:36
Speaker
You should hear about this lady with a ferret that I just. Yeah. Don't be embarrassed. It could be worse. You could have kissed it. It could be worse. Exactly. Yeah, this this might be this might be my new place filler for if someone is embarrassed of something that's happened they've done. Like, we've got a cake taker.
00:35:55
Speaker
Yeah, there you go.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:35:57
Speaker
Well, that's it. That's all we got. Well, I mean, I think you know what that means. I mean, we just we spilled the kibble. Hands off my ferret.
00:36:09
Speaker
ah Okay, bye-bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening. Please note that this podcast is for entertainment purposes only.
00:36:21
Speaker
Any medical advice heard on this show should be discussed with your animals care team. and a special thank you to our story submitters. Do you have a story you want to share?
00:36:31
Speaker
Email us at spill at spillthekibble.com and maybe we'll read your story. Also, please rate, review, and subscribe so that others can find us more easily. We look forward to next time.