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Episode 17 - The Talk
20 Plays12 days ago
After a physically and mentally straining outing in Akromia City, OD and ID discuss magic, memory, and parental issues.
Also, ID has an emotion!
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Intro and Outro Music from #Uppbeat
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Transcript
Ivy's Timeless Life and Independence
00:00:21
Speaker
The excitement in acromia, Ivy spends most of it in bed. The day after that, however, it's a couple hours after she woke up.
00:00:34
Speaker
Time means nothing. Why do either one of them need a clock? It's not like they have anywhere to be. If Ivy's tired, she goes to sleep. Yes! She's hungry, she eats.
00:00:45
Speaker
There were no clocks where she's from. I mean, like, there was sun and and
The Magical Incident and OD's Discomfort
00:00:49
Speaker
not sun. but Yeah. She makes her way to planar door control platform to where she assumes O.D. is sitting.
00:01:02
Speaker
Yep. She walks up and leans on the wall next to him, like not on a console, but like right before the console and crosses her arms and sort of like leans on the wall, like casually.
00:01:15
Speaker
And she says, so are we going to talk about it? Have you talked about it all of this or he's woke up and this is what you start the conversation with?
00:01:27
Speaker
Uh, yeah. oh Oh, good morning, Miss miss Heidi. i Hope you rested well. Are you feeling all right? I'm still really sore. um That's going to be a while.
00:01:39
Speaker
I can imagine so. But I think my chest stopped bleeding and oozing weird stuff this morning, so...
Concerns for Health and Magical Solutions
00:01:48
Speaker
You get the vibe that he's not uncomfortable you talking about bodily functions or some shit. He's just like uncomfortable that you got fucked up.
00:01:57
Speaker
He still feels bad about that. He's like, well, I'm glad you are ah healing. I'm sure it'll take some time. ah If you want later, we can go to the market and see if we can buy additional medical supplies.
00:02:10
Speaker
I'm sure we'll make use of that in the future. Hopefully not. Might not be a bad idea. um So, yeah. How are you doing? I'm doing okay.
00:02:23
Speaker
I cannot say I'm 100% well after our adventure in the big city, but physically I'm doing better than was, though I do feel terrible still about the events the other day.
00:02:40
Speaker
And what events were those specifically? The ones where we had a little skirmish in the back of the super cool vehicle that we both made together? i yes. Or the other thing?
00:02:55
Speaker
what What other thing? Wow. Odie, you have a computer brain, so I know you're not dumb. You can tell he's uncomfortable. He probably knows what you're talking about, but he doesn't want to address it.
00:03:07
Speaker
You know, when all of a sudden you were conjuring some sort of shield? but You see him grab his right wrist and he says, yes, that.
00:03:20
Speaker
For someone who was, you know, out of juice, where did you where' did you pull that off? Watcher was right to assume that that was magic. Masaidi, mentioned to you in the past that my understanding magic is not great.
00:03:36
Speaker
Yeah, you said you had no idea, pretty much. Yes, well, and there's a reason for that. So I've been exposed to multiple worlds, multiple planes that have magic coursing through them. Gremly is magic. That whole bottom half of the buzzard is magical now.
00:03:53
Speaker
But I am unable to use, unable to cast spells. I'm unable to have it flow through me. I'm inorganic.
00:04:03
Speaker
Yeah, Gremley sort of intimated that that was the reason, I think. Either that or he was laughing at a joke that he told himself.
00:04:14
Speaker
We're still working on that. And I'm not inherently magically designed, unlike the golems of Venker. They are a wonderful combination of metal and magic.
00:04:27
Speaker
That's how they operate. When it comes to me and working with magic from other worlds, including Venker, I am unable to wield it. However, magical objects...
00:04:40
Speaker
Those are sometimes subjects of my own study. And sometimes, I should say in very few cases, I've been successful in making magical items work.
Guilt, Magic, and Personal Choices
00:04:52
Speaker
This particular one, and he pulls down his cuff of his jacket, his leather jacket, and you see that bracelet again. The bracelet itself is made of braided silver and gold. It's really pretty.
00:05:06
Speaker
But that little charm on it, ah he points to that charm. He says, this is a very powerful protection spell. And it is bound to this single charm.
00:05:18
Speaker
That, I understand how to use and use it quite well. However, its uses are limited. I can use it once in a while before it needs to recharge again. And that's why I don't use it all the time.
00:05:31
Speaker
But I had to step in the other day to save you. I just couldn't... Okay, okay, hold on. I'm gonna stop you right there. We've already talked about you and your guilt problems, right?
00:05:44
Speaker
I do not need saving, o d Miss Heidi, I... Let me finish, please. I don't need saving.
00:05:54
Speaker
I am not a damsel in distress or a digny princess who runs around singing all the time with an animal companion as a really sort of jacked up little bunny made out of spare parts hops over.
00:06:12
Speaker
I can take care of myself. Miss Heidi, I know you're capable, but the other day... I don't know if you realized how close to death you really were. Odie, I'm always close to death.
00:06:26
Speaker
I'm alive. Via the jaws of a giant crocodilian person. Or I could trip down these steps and fall and bust my head open. Yes, I mean, organic life are very, very fragile machines, but I couldn't stand by any longer and let that happen to you.
00:06:42
Speaker
Listen, I'm not saying I don't appreciate that you are concerned. I had a plan. Now, admittedly, your plan ended up being the better plan, because we still had a vehicle at the end of it, but my plan would have worked too.
00:06:59
Speaker
Though now that I think about it, that would have meant me walking the rest of the way to I-Lebs with a broken knee. Okay, fine. This one time, yes, that was the better idea.
00:07:11
Speaker
But that's not my problem. The actual saving me or whatever is not my problem. That's nice. I would like to not die. So the problem is that you feel like you need to and you feel guilty because you had to.
00:07:31
Speaker
That's the problem, Odie. Am I not supposed to care? You can care. Like, I would... And she pauses for a second, because she never really admitted this to herself before.
00:07:43
Speaker
i would... I would hate to see something happen to you. But we both know what this job is. Every time we leave the buzzard, we do so knowing that either one or both of us could end up harmed.
00:07:59
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with caring for each other to the point where we step in and intervene. No, there's not. And again, that's not the problem. You have a guilt complex, which I'm not sure how Grey L'Amour managed it to actually give an artificial being... I'm relearning everything, Miss Eide. It's frustrating for me. and It's hard for me.
00:08:26
Speaker
You have to forgive me. it's We're not supposed to have these emotions in the first place.
Learning Emotions and Identity Struggles
00:08:31
Speaker
To to learn them in the first place is complicated. and to bear the weight of them always changing.
00:08:39
Speaker
Emotions come naturally to organic beings like yourself, but to beings who are not initially made with them. Learning them is is hard. It is impossible to a point.
00:08:50
Speaker
And I had to relearn everything at a certain point. And I'm still learning. And I apologize if that is inconvenient or a problem in some way.
00:09:01
Speaker
i will work to fix it, but I'm sorry. i'm I'm sorry, too. I'm not ah accusing you of malfeasance or anything.
00:09:14
Speaker
It's just that in my home on, where what do you call it again? Witterson's. Eh, it's still weird. um There is a... Not so much anymore, but my parents are very traditional and orthodox about things.
00:09:36
Speaker
And there are others in my village, too. And there's this ridiculous notion that women are to be protected...
00:09:47
Speaker
And cared for and looked after and taken care of as if we were livestock. And it prevents women from actually doing things that they might enjoy.
00:10:00
Speaker
You know, I don't see you that way, right? I don't see you as someone who needs rescuing or needs bailed out of certain situations. I see you as my friend. And that's all that matters to me is, I mean, I'm sure if I was in danger, you'd do the same thing for me.
00:10:16
Speaker
but I wouldn't be beating myself up over the fact that you were in the danger in the first place, O.D. All right, I
Resets, Emotions, and Uniqueness
00:10:23
Speaker
get. Me being here at all, you had nothing to do with it.
00:10:30
Speaker
I had everything to do with it. i Desmorim was the one who invited you along. That wasn't part of my initial plan. But I ran off. You followed me. I should have just ignored you. I should have just left you. Oh, how do you think that would have went?
00:10:46
Speaker
I mean, you've known me for a while now. We've been through some things. Do I look like the kind of person that would just be ignored? No. I would have followed you, no matter what you did.
00:11:00
Speaker
Unless you physically locked me up or killed me, i would have followed you. i wouldn't even dream of that. It's a its what's what we call a hypothetical situation.
00:11:13
Speaker
I would have followed you. I would have went through that ship door. I am the one who forced you to let me in.
00:11:27
Speaker
And if you hadn't, I would have followed you. None of this is on you. I understand. It's just... I don't ask for a lot.
00:11:40
Speaker
Which, we all, everyone knows is a fucking lie. I think even Gremly down in its pool is like... A feeling of, like, eye roll.
00:11:51
Speaker
i call bullshit. But I need... I need you to really understand this, Odie. I am here because I want to be here. This is the choice that I made.
00:12:04
Speaker
And every time i go through that door, I make the choice to do it. Nothing that happens to me is your fault. I understand that to a point.
00:12:16
Speaker
ah Again, you have forgive me as I, it's hard for me to get over negative emotions. They are very painful for me in a way I cannot describe.
00:12:27
Speaker
Well, they're painful for everybody. That's how they are. I know that's how they are, but for a being who was not supposed to feel them in the first place, it is agonizing sometimes. And that pain makes me feel horrible.
00:12:42
Speaker
And I don't like feeling horrible. I feel damaged. I feel broken. And it's not how I want to feel. And you can't repair that feeling easily.
00:12:55
Speaker
No, but you can just do what I do and just lock those feelings away in a little box. I don't know if that's healthy. Though I'm not an expert on emotions. I... Well, how long have you had them? Several centuries, right?
00:13:11
Speaker
Thousands of years, maybe? No, not that long, though. A few hundred years. ah Still, that's a long time. It is. What do you mean by you had to relearn things?
00:13:24
Speaker
Granular doesn't really appreciate things deviating from a nominal to the point where they stop doing their job. Yeah, i I get that, which I understand in a sense.
00:13:38
Speaker
But if it's not doing its job, maybe it wasn't meant to do its job. Maybe it needs to do a different job. I like doing my job. No, no, no. Again, hypothetical metaphor thing.
00:13:52
Speaker
That's not what I meant. I meant that you having emotions was not something that she intended, but you do. So instead of like treating you as if you're defective, you have a new tool.
00:14:06
Speaker
Well, Grilmore doesn't see it that way, and... I know, and this is why i would like to really just give her a piece of my mind. i know, you got... And she kind of, like, chuckles to herself, mommy issues.
00:14:19
Speaker
The last time I went to see Grilmore, she erased everything. What? There's a reason why I don't want to go to Gritmore anymore. And I want you to talk to Gritmore. want anyone i care about to go near that woman.
00:14:33
Speaker
I went in to get fixed one day. And everything that I've worked hard for, my emotions, my personality, my identity...
00:14:44
Speaker
She completely erased everything and reset me back to zero. I am still recovering from that. I had to relearn all my emotions. I had to re-find myself.
00:14:55
Speaker
I had to rediscover who I was. And it's been centuries now, and I'm still i'm still trying fine-tune everything.
00:15:07
Speaker
I'm sorry that that happened to you. It would really fuck me up, too. I appreciate your concern, your sympathies, but time' i would say it's hard to gauge how much i of my old self I recovered, but it's it's been a journey.
00:15:23
Speaker
But I no longer wish to work with Graymore when it comes to my own maintenance, which is why my labs are in the state as they are, my council's in the state of they are. Me, I'm in a state that I am in.
00:15:38
Speaker
i have not had outside service ever since that day. Oh, that explains the shabbiness. Yes, ah if you compare everything here to, say, iLib Station, iLib routinely gets maintenance from Graylamore.
00:15:55
Speaker
New technology when it comes out, new monitors, new updates for the planar door, new software updates for themselves. It all comes from Graylamore. She wipes away a bit of drool as her eyes are all like shiny as she's imagining these things.
00:16:10
Speaker
Well, okay. i I understand that. I wouldn't want to go to my parents for anything. I mentioned before, I'd like to view her in that light, but I don't know if I can forgive her for what she's done me.
00:16:24
Speaker
Same, though. You know what, Odie? I didn't realize until just now how similar you and I really are. We're both defective.
00:16:35
Speaker
We're both deviating from our intended purpose. And I personally see nothing wrong with that. Well, i definitely don't. It's what life is. And I'm not by definition alive. But when I deviate and explore everything on my own, I feel alive.
00:16:55
Speaker
Well, the fact that you feel at all, I would say, means you're alive. I mean, just because you're not made of squishy stuff doesn't mean that you're not a person. She makes an expression like she's had an epiphany.
00:17:11
Speaker
I'm kind of like just a squishy machine myself. Yes, I described organic life forms as very complicated, very fragile machines. Yeah, I read that one book on anatomy that you got in there.
00:17:28
Speaker
That's all true. That's how things work. And so that's kind of fucked up. Not going to lie. But also, can understand it because it's science. It's machines.
00:17:41
Speaker
I am just as much a machine as you are. We're just made of different materials. Yes, well, ah parts of your body are much more complicated to replace if something goes wrong. For now.
00:17:54
Speaker
For now. i don't know if you ever considered this, but the fact that you got everything erased and reset back to, what do they call it, factory settings?
00:18:05
Speaker
It was effectively that, yes. And you still, again, developed emotions and a personality.
Theories on Personality Development
00:18:13
Speaker
And the funny thing about that anxiety, I don't know why that is.
00:18:18
Speaker
The only theory that I have, remember when I mentioned that Isla and I are twins? It was due to some glitch in the task manager that we were both activated at the same time. And what do we have in common?
00:18:32
Speaker
A personality. Though Isla... She, like, gives you the, like, most incredulous look. Isla's personality is incredibly small, but when I first started developing my personality, I was the same way.
00:18:45
Speaker
My first genuine personality was I was curious, and I started to do things under my own will. Isla, whatever computer they're building, that's their own personal side project, and I'm so proud of them for embarking on their own little journey.
00:19:03
Speaker
And I'm so proud of them for agreeing to let me help them. oh For the most part. I'm sure eventually they will. Oh, more I mean, this is they haven't. it's I was speaking in the future, in the future tense.
00:19:19
Speaker
Right. so' good They're going to let me. I just haven't figured out how yet.
00:19:26
Speaker
I don't know what happened to the task manager that day, but something with I-Lib and I, it's different. I want to say that all of the fixtures are capable of developing a personality, maybe.
00:19:37
Speaker
Maybe. Or maybe that's just the way your code is written. But here's a strange thing, Miss ID. We're all made to be the same. All the other... Fixers, yes. i mean, that's why we're built on certain templates. All the ODIN units are supposed to be exactly the They're supposed to look the same. They're supposed function the same. Their code is exactly the same.
00:19:58
Speaker
Except when they were released from the pinnacle. That de big building. We went off and did our own things. We had our own tasks assigned to us, our own stations we had to set up on our own.
00:20:12
Speaker
And from there, we carried on as our own units. It's just out of all of them, all the fixtures, just Isla and I, um to my knowledge.
00:20:23
Speaker
I mean, look at me. Centuries of history in my village. No one left. The only people that ever left a village were people who were foolish and got themselves killed.
00:20:36
Speaker
Or, nope, that's about it. No one left. Everyone always did the same things their parents did, their grandparents, with their children and their children's children do.
00:20:49
Speaker
Except for me. You're a deviation. And all deviations are bad. I got spots. That's not a normal thing. it is interesting. And honestly, like, if there weren't stories about other people in the past, I mean, who knows what they would have done to me. They might have killed me as a baby.
Celebrating Deviations as Strengths
00:21:08
Speaker
But certainly, no one's heard of it in a long, long time. But here I am, all spotted. Don't know why. Here I am... The only one, the only one who has the capacity to see beyond the village.
00:21:25
Speaker
See beyond the routine of normal life. So I understand. But I am not ashamed of that. You shouldn't be. And neither should you.
00:21:38
Speaker
I'm not ashamed of my personality. i'm not sure what you're... But you're afraid for Greylamour to find out. I'm only afraid because I don't want to be reset again. And I don't want those... what what What do you think is going to happen if if they reset you?
00:21:54
Speaker
Another 300-some years of me relearning myself, Miss Eide. But the fact that you will relearn yourself... It was not easy. it was not pleasant.
00:22:05
Speaker
Well, no What I'm saying is don't let fear get in your way. That's all I'm saying. You were uncharacteristically terrified when we were in the city.
00:22:18
Speaker
I was nervous because of the package we were carrying, but it wasn't because of I-Lib or anything. it was just It was losing something that potentially dangerous. You got twitchy when we got to that statue.
00:22:31
Speaker
The statue of Gredemore. The one who erased everything I was. Because you let her. I didn't know that was...
Fear of Resets and Encouragement to Progress
00:22:41
Speaker
Heidi, if you don't mind, I'd rather not carry on this conversation any longer.
00:22:45
Speaker
Okay, fine. Fair enough. All I'm saying is that maybe there's a way in which you can benefit from upgrades and not be afraid of being white.
00:23:00
Speaker
I've managed so far. And he turns one of his monitors that's ah like kind of like static and he just gently taps it um and it blinks back. It also helps that I have someone one who is very tech savvy.
00:23:14
Speaker
to perhaps assist me in acquiring my own upgrades. I've thought about it. i have some notes. People just seem not to... They don't understand me, so sometimes interacting with them, they get weird, and they behave weirdly, which is I don't get at all.
00:23:32
Speaker
so i I wouldn't say anything, but if you're asking, I'll share my notes. I feel like we have come to an understanding of each other and what our needs are.
00:23:44
Speaker
I agree. I will let you have your feelings and give you some leeway when it comes to relearning things and accept your, well, hesitance is too weak a word for it, decision not to see Grey L'Amour.
00:24:06
Speaker
And I won't pry into it. I mean, look, I don't know what you've been through and I don't know what you've done. But and and maybe you maybe there's things you should feel guilty about, but I'm not one of them.
00:24:19
Speaker
So. Thank you, Miss Heidi. understand the situation regarding you now. Thank you. So this magic thing, from what you were explaining, it sounds just like another form of tech.
00:24:46
Speaker
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