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E254: James “Jim” Kimball
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Jim Kimball had faced loss as a child when his father passed away. When his siblings chose to talk about their feelings, Jim kept his bottled up instead-- until his emotions grew too large to be contained. Then, on April 13th, 1993, he disappeared.
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Transcript
Understanding Loss
00:00:00
Speaker
Loss. The word itself carries a weight, a resonance that echoes deep within the human experience. It's a universal truth, a constant companion on our journey through life. From the subtle losses of youth and innocence to the profound grief of losing a loved one, loss permeates every facet of our existence. It can manifest in countless forms, the fading of a cherished memory, the end of a meaningful relationship, the loss of a job, the decline of physical or mental health,
00:00:28
Speaker
the erosion of cultural traditions, and the devastating impact of environmental changes. Each loss, unique in its own way, leaves an incredible mark on our psyche, forcing us to grapple with the impermanence of all things.
Introducing 'Coffee and Cases'
00:00:41
Speaker
Today's case begins with a tragic loss, the death of a father. For a 13-year-old boy, that grief was something that shaped his entire life and has left his family to deal with a second grief, that of a missing loved one. This is the story of James Jim Kimball.
00:01:33
Speaker
Welcome to Coffee and Cases where we like our coffee hot and our cases cold. My name is Allison Williams. And my name is Maggie Dameron. We will be telling stories each week in the hopes that someone out there with any information concerning the cases will take those tips to law enforcement. So justice and closure can be brought to these families. With each case, we encourage you to continue in the conversation on our Facebook page, Coffee and Cases podcast, because as we all know, conversation helps to keep the missing person in the public consciousness, helping keep their memories alive. So sit back, sip your coffee, and listen to what's brewing this week.
Personal Loss Stories
00:02:10
Speaker
So Alison, I know that each of us, you and I, plus our listeners, have had some type of loss and maybe not lost in the way that we typically think about it by, you know, like the death of a loved one. But in some fashion, we have all felt the sting of losing something or someone close to us. And I always, especially this time of year, think about your granny because I know that is a loss that shaped you and still continues to affect you every day. Yeah, absolutely, but you're talking too even about say the end of a friendship or the end of any sort of relationship. Yeah, and even I think smaller ones that we don't think about like
00:02:54
Speaker
Leaving a job, you know, oh, yeah those smaller losses really do affect us and today we're talking about big losses so for James or Jim which will refer to him throughout that Loss that changed his life forever was the loss of his father which he was young when that happened, but I think any time You lose a parent. That is that is very i would have to eat something that is hard to deal with. Yes.
Jim's Early Life and Struggles
00:03:21
Speaker
So Jim grew up in Oak Park, Illinois, and he was the sixth child in a large and loving family. So they have a big family. They're very close and they are very
00:03:32
Speaker
like they're willing to lend a hand to help one another. Oh that's nice, yeah. According to his sister Sharon, Jim always felt shy but she told Unsolved Mysteries that she felt Jim's shyness actually made him more sensitive to the people around him.
00:03:49
Speaker
and So he's i ah an observer. um Yeah and I think I would almost say like empathize more with people and I think again we all have part of that in us like I am so I guess cognizant of when I have to ask people for help because I'm a people pleaser and I'm always like subconsciously are you a people pleaser and like you're really overwhelmed and you're just saying yes because I asked you know right because I would do that and I think that that was kind of Jim too.
00:04:18
Speaker
So I'm sure that Jim being shy helped him understand people on a different level than what maybe others did. I would agree with that. However, Jim's life shifted on August 16th, 1982, when his father, which we mentioned, tragically died from a heart attack. And he was just 13 years old at the time, which I think is a hard year if everything goes smoothly. Right. And you're in middle school, and middle school is awful, and it's just a lot of things. And then to add on to puberty in middle school and friends and friend drama,
00:04:54
Speaker
to add on the death of a parent or the death of anyone close to you, I think is a lot. Yeah, that, you're right. With all those other things going on in your life, that loss is just added trauma. And I have a friend that's mom died, this was just recently and she, I mean, not recently, it's been like five years and she's still, and at my age, I can tell just how much Like she needs her mom's guidance and to not have the guidance of a parent at 13 I think would be extremely hard. And Jim grieved much differently than the rest of his family. He was silent. He refused to cry and just had this apparent like lack of emotion where
00:05:45
Speaker
His family tried to express their grief. Jim kind of held that in. And that was the first, I guess, sign of a deeper struggle that he was having.
Mental Health Diagnosis and Challenges
00:05:55
Speaker
When I wouldn't even, I don't know if I would necessarily say, and a lot of people would see it as a lack of emotion.
00:06:01
Speaker
I think it's a different expression of emotion, but one that can in a lot of ways be more dangerous because when you share, then people know what you're dealing with and what you're struggling with. And sometimes it's good to let out your emotions, like you just need a good cry or something like that. Or a good venting session.
00:06:25
Speaker
and he did none of that. So while his family mourned, this unseen turmoil simmered deep within Jim and it was something that continued to grow and grow within him until it kind of erupted and it was devastating to his family Allison. So as the years passed, Jim became increasingly quiet and he was already quiet. If you're shy, I think you're naturally going to be more quiet, but his quietness increased.
00:06:54
Speaker
He still attended school, he even started playing in a garage band with his brothers, and I don't know why, maybe because it's in the 80s, but I just picture like hairband kids, and he really did not look like that, but that is what I picture as like a 1980s hairband. Like the parents running out, keep down that racket in the garage.
00:07:13
Speaker
Jim was the drummer in the band. Oh, so that's the coolest position. And it was during one of their practices, and remember, this is like a band with his family, so again, just pointing to how close they all are. So it was during one of their practices that the struggle Jim had been working so hard on hiding finally erupted. Apparently, mid-song, he stopped playing and froze mid-movement.
00:07:38
Speaker
oh so there was a very long tense pause where he is just like a statue and then according to his brother he flung his drumsticks in anger and then just slumped to the ground was there something in the lyrics that hit him hard or? I don't know what song they were playing if they were just kind of messing around but based on some things we'll talk about later I almost want to think did maybe he mess up and like the frustration kind of
00:08:13
Speaker
Tipped it over the edge. Yeah, that was the breaking point. According to his brother Tom, quote, he was acting strange and I was afraid for him. There came a point where I was like, we better bring him to the hospital or something because we didn't know what he was going to do next, end quote. And they do, Allison, end up taking him to the hospital. They actually rushed him there and he is evaluated and those evaluations led to a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder.
00:08:43
Speaker
Which I, we've talked about schizophrenia, and these are similar, but we've never, I don't think, talked about how we talked about schizoaffective disorder. now And I even Googled it because I was like, maybe they're the same thing. Right, right. And like, they are different. Yes, they are different. They share some of the same similarities. So I'm going to paraphrase some stuff from a Mayo Clinic. but okay I feel it's important to understand the diagnosis. So schizoaffective disorder is a mental health condition that is marked by schizophrenia symptoms such as hallucinations and delusions. You can have mood disorders, so depression, mania,
00:09:24
Speaker
Those hallucinations involve seeing or hearing voices that others obviously do not. Right. And there are two types of this disorder and both include symptoms from schizophrenia. Okay. So there's a bipolar type which involves bouts of mania and sometimes depression. And then there's a depressive type which includes only depressive bouts. Okay.
00:09:48
Speaker
And the symptoms are close to schizophrenia. What's interesting is that when I was reading, it said this disease normally affects people that are older, like in the 20s and 30s, whereas he was still in high school. And the symptoms vary greatly from person to person, so they may have more psychotic symptoms. So those are delusions, it could just come in the form of mood disorders or depression.
00:10:15
Speaker
But there are ways that it is treated and people manage the delusions, hallucinations, the disorganized thinking. So again, very much like schizophrenia, unusual behavior, manic mood swings, having a hard time functioning at work or school, and then problems managing personal care are common.
00:10:35
Speaker
Okay symptoms, but there are ways that and treatments that people manage this and with help through medication and other forms people are successful in life right this disease and Jim was referred to a psychiatrist after he was diagnosed with this mental health condition. And during his therapy sessions, he revealed to his psychiatrist that he was tormented by anger, which he admitted stemmed from losing his father. And he also said that he had been hallucinating, but these were auditory, like he could hear people talking to him that weren't there.
00:11:12
Speaker
okay And he required medication to help manage his symptoms. And over the next eight years, he would be in and out of the hospital to receive care because he would suffer from relapses. Which makes sense, especially we talk, we've talked a lot about it with people who suffer from bipolar disorder.
00:11:30
Speaker
when you're feeling good, you think, oh, I don't need my medicine anymore. And then you stop taking it. And then finally everything catches up to you. And I think that's even so simple as people with anxiety. Like if you're taking Zoloft, you're like, oh, I'm fine. I don't need this. And then you don't take it for a few days and you're like, just kidding. Need it. Let's just be honest. How many of us have been sick and have gotten the pill bottle and it says, take this until the end. And then you're three pills away and you're like, um be better i'noing this more
00:12:04
Speaker
But despite those relapses, he did graduate from high school. He managed to hold down a few jobs throughout those eight years. He moved into a halfway house that was about 10 miles I read from his mom's house. So still saying staying close to his family. Having some independence.
00:12:20
Speaker
and things seemed to be going pretty well for him. The worries of his family in regards to his well-being lessened a little as they saw him with the
Jim's Disappearance
00:12:31
Speaker
successes. Okay, but all of that changed one Easter weekend, so it was during Easter of 1993 when Jim arrived to his mother's house earlier than expected.
00:12:42
Speaker
I actually this was I don't remember if I read that this yes I did read the brother said he walked there which I can miles would be very like like anything they're early yeah bing bing bing like something is off you walked 10 miles like I think you can tell Maggie and I are not exercise I don't even know how long it takes to walk 10 miles it tastes like what 30 minutes to leisurely walk a mile right is that right i don't know google it look at us we don't even know how long this is this shows you we do not walk how long to leisurely walk look we're not the only people that have googled it many people have it takes oh 20 minutes okay so then somebody is 200 minutes though
00:13:35
Speaker
Well, that's three over three hours. That's almost three and a half hours. Maybe it was a beautiful day. I'm hoping meeting, ah you know, in the well, if it's Easter, then they probably met early.
00:13:51
Speaker
Maybe he just got up for breakfast and picked up a donut and was like, yeah, I'll walk there. That sounds like something we would do. And then I would get about 100 yards and I would call somebody to come pick me up. I overestimated my abilities.
00:14:14
Speaker
So his brother did say, quote, I was pretty surprised that he would go through all that trouble to walk home. You know, all the family was together. We had a nice turkey dinner for Easter. Everything seemed to be pretty good in quotes. So there's where I read. I knew I read it. They did have a dinner, so at least he didn't get up at five a.m. to start the walk.
00:14:33
Speaker
And the initial atmosphere of this Easter dinner, which I feel that any family gathering most sometimes can come with a lot of emotions, yeah but especially on holidays, because I feel like that's when we miss our loved ones. I don't want to say the most, but we think about them a lot because they're missing from that.
00:14:54
Speaker
there's an empty chair or someone is sitting in the chair where that that person normally yeah should have been yeah but the atmosphere appeared calm on that day but the following day the 13th is when tensions erupted So frustrated by difficulties with the family's new stereo system, Jim succumbed to a fit of rage. His brother attempted to intervene and calm him down, tried to redirect, but Jim was just too consumed by anger. So he said that he needed to take a walk. And Tom said, quote, you know, I was having lunch and I heard from downstairs a commotion and I said, Hey, you know, if you're not feeling well, maybe you should go to the hospital. But he said he wasn't going to the hospital. He'd take care of things. And so we just cleaned things up and then he left.
00:15:44
Speaker
That was the last I saw of him. This quote makes me wonder though Did Jim help him clean it up or when he says we cleaned it up? He means like him and other members of their family Well, he does say we just clean ends up and then he right as in he helped to clean up which I would think that cleanup process would help to calm down. True and I mean maybe even maybe that's why he walked that morning because maybe that was a daily coping mechanism for if you have intrusive thoughts, if you have this anger
00:16:20
Speaker
go for a walk and and let things calm down. I do know Anthony's brother sometimes will get mad because it's hard and for him to express his feelings with the cerebral palsy so you know that's hard to explain how you feel when you don't know how to explain it.
00:16:38
Speaker
and sometimes he'll get frustrated and he will go on a walk, like around their subdivision, just to calm himself down. So that's what I thought of when I was researching this, that maybe this was a common thing, like you said, that he used the calming mechanism. But then and if that were the case, and ah and if they knew that that were a coping mechanism, then I feel like his family would have known by the fact that he walked there the day before. That something was up. Something was going on, that he felt the need to do that.
00:17:08
Speaker
yeah And I think just walking 10 miles in general would be kind of a red flag to me. But again, maybe like you said, it's normal right behavior for him. right But hours passed and Jim failed to return home.
Search Efforts and Law Enforcement
00:17:20
Speaker
So then the family is washed with this wave of anxiety. And so they immediately start searching. They made phone calls. They looked through homeless shelters that were in the area. They started distributing missing person flyers that went all across the country. But 11 months went by and they found nothing.
00:17:37
Speaker
So we're almost a year out and have no idea. And that's, I wonder where they live if it's a more urban or suburban area. I was thinking, did people in the neighborhood see him leaving where we at least know what direction he was walking in to have some sort of clue? Were his things, if he's at a halfway house, did he go back to pick up his things from there?
00:18:06
Speaker
You know in the limited research that I found because he is on his case was covered on Unsolved Mysteries and there's a few blogs about his case but it didn't mention any of that if he went back and huh to the homeless shelter. Because that would be an indication of something if he took things with him or again if people saw him and they knew what direction he walked in or Well, if he walks frequently and they see him, it may not have been... It may not have registered. Yeah, but they needed you know to pay attention to which way he was going. So not until sometime later did the family learn that Jim had stopped showing up to work, and based on that information, they believe that Jim had stopped taking his medication prior to his disappearance, so he was in the middle of a relapse.
00:18:53
Speaker
According to the Trolley Project, so this is sometime later, an Indiana law enforcement officer found a young man that matched Jim's description in South Bend, Indiana, and this was in March of 1994.
00:19:08
Speaker
so a year almost after he had been missing and the officer noted that the behavior was really weird and they almost acted intoxicated or high the man was confused and was just kind of wandering around aimlessly so he gave that person a sobriety test because again he was acting like he was drunk but the man passed the test which tells you something else is yeah going on and so he was released because he passed the test right there they couldn't hold him right thing and then later the officer saw the flyer that was posted by Jim's family and realized
00:19:47
Speaker
I think that was Jim. But by that point, they couldn't, they searched a radius around the town and it was only 90 miles from where he went missing. So South Bend to Oak Park. Yeah. 90 miles ish. So they searched the area, but they don't find a sign of him again. And that person has still yet to be found. Wow.
00:20:14
Speaker
I wonder if, and if not, I wish that they would have, I know in Florida we've covered cases where someone was Baker acted, where if law enforcement believe that someone has some sort of mental health issue or would best be served by taking them to a facility for their own safety, then they can transport them to a facility. I guess what I would, I mean, I don't know the conversation that went on, but I'm, I, as a teacher,
00:20:53
Speaker
I feel like it is our job. I'm trying to figure her out a formula to work to report things. Yeah. And so I feel that does law enforcement not have the same like responsibility, I feel like they should. If he clearly sees, I know he's not intoxicated, but there's something else going on. And he needs help. And he needs help, and you and you know that. And the breathalyzer doesn't test for other drugs, so you could have taken him in. Clearly this man needs support.
00:21:26
Speaker
So what did we offer him, I guess is what I'm trying to say. In terms of that support. Yeah, like did you, did, I wonder if there was a conversation like, do you need me to take you somewhere? Do you need to go to the hospital? And like you said, when can they say you need to go to the hospital? Exactly. You're not saying that you're criminalizing this person. You're saying this person clearly needs help. I'm going to be the person to offer it.
00:21:49
Speaker
Yeah. Why is that not a thing? In some states it is. I feel like it should be in a national thing. Why are we not helping people? Interestingly, Allison, authorities say in some reports that Jim may have been taken from the area against his will.
Speculations and Call for Empathy
00:22:04
Speaker
Now, what I want to say, because there's not a lot of detail on this theory. I read it in one place, I think. I'm assuming that they meant Jim willingly left home.
00:22:16
Speaker
and then from another location was was taken against his will. Do you know what I mean? right Like maybe he ends up in another town and then is willingly, unwillingly taken. So he willingly leaves, but unwillingly taken from somewhere else. But I feel like if authorities are saying this, they have to have something that there's a lot of updates on his case. So maybe there's something that they're not sharing. And I know we say it often, but I think Jim's case could be one that is easily solved. I just feel like the right tidbit of information. Oh, I saw someone that looked like him and then when I was reading the comments somebody was like have homeless shelters been checked because there's so many people in homeless shelters that
00:23:06
Speaker
struggle with these types of illnesses and don't always receive the care or the help that they need. So have posters of Jim been distributed to homeless shelters? Maybe he's living in one. We don't know how far he has traveled by now. I mean, this was in the 90s, so he could be right across the country by now or even displaced persons, communities, and other areas of the city that aren't homeless shelters. I think I mentioned it in one of our other episodes, but there's a whole community of people in one of the larger cities around us, and police and fire know that they're there because they've had calls and they've taken individuals to the hospital or whatever, but have we searched
00:23:52
Speaker
in those places and I think you're right obviously there's a reason that authorities are saying he may have been taken against his will they have to have something and at the same time I wish that we could share more information about what those details might be. I understand, I guess, why they're not sharing them because I listened to ah an episode from another podcaster recently and they said something and it was about the amount of details that police share, but they were specifically talking about a murder weapon and they said, well, clearly the police didn't share what kind of murder weapon it was out of fear.
00:24:34
Speaker
that the person who committed the crime would then get rid of that weapon. Oh, I never looked at it that way. And so maybe if it's a similar situation with this one, if he's picked up in a car, if people say, oh, well, we know he was picked up in a car that looks like this, then they're going to change the upholstery or they're going to sell the car. They're going to do something like that. I will say, though, that Unsolved Mystery, so when you go like to his profile, it still has him listed as missing.
00:25:05
Speaker
I guess the point you're saying is we don't, even if he's listed as missing, we don't know what happened to him. right And so if something did happen to him, like someone took his life, then that evidence may be there as well.
00:25:24
Speaker
Loss in its many forms shapes the human experience profoundly, from the subtle fading of memories to the profound grief of losing loved ones. It forces us to confront the impermanence of life and the fragility of our existence. While the pain of loss can be overwhelming, it also presents opportunities for growth, resilience, and a deeper understanding of others.
00:25:43
Speaker
It's my hope that we use our individual experiences to empathize with the family in today's case, that we show them we care by sharing Jim's story or putting yourself in their shoes. Jim used his shyness to connect with others. Hopefully we too can put our personalities and talents to use and help bring a missing loved one home and solve a case that deserves to be solved.
00:26:04
Speaker
Again, please like and join our Facebook page, Coffee and Cases podcast to continue the conversation and see images related to this episode. As always, follow us on Twitter, at casescoffee, on Instagram, at coffee cases podcast, or you can always email us suggestions to coffeeandcasespodcastatgmail.com. Please tell your friends about our podcast so more people can be reached to possibly help bring some closure to these families. Don't forget to rate our show and leave us a comment as well. We hope to hear from you soon.
00:26:34
Speaker
Stay together. Stay safe. We'll see you next week.