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The Argos Catalogue: Eddie answers listener's letters (and reveals his time as a traffic warden, his beef with Kele from Bloc Party and the glory days of Landfiull Indie)
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Ep. 2: We begin to document the life, times and tribulations of the much-storied, celebrity-beef-starting, indie troubadour Eddie Argos – and then compile the stories in... The Argos Catalogue. Yes, indeed, it's the inevitable "readers' letters" episode, and boy, do we learn some eye-opening stuff about Eddie's career. So join Eddie and Joe – the Richard and Judy of indie music podcasting – and learn:
> How Eddie was a traffic warden and used to let Mel C from the Spice Girls off from getting parking tickets
> How Eddie once got into an escalating feud with Kele from Bloc Party that ended in him being karate kicked
> He then reveals that he has moved on from starting beefs with famous singers – before immediately starting a beef with Thom Yorke
> What Eddie's dream Top Of The Pops line-up would be and yes of course David Devant and His Spirit Wife would be performing
> Eddie invents a hypothetical but plausible band called “Wellington Boot”
> Eddie and Joe also recall the glory days of Landfill Indie, and whether it was " one of the least exciting things to happen to music this century”
> And in a new, possibly one-off, show segment called “Me and yer granny on bongos” Eddie theorises which bands could survive if you ejected all the members except the singer (and replaced everyone else with a bongo-playing granny)
We’d also like to point out that Richard Madeley was acquitted of all charges of shoplifting, and Eddie was simply making a joke. Send your own questions for Eddie via eddieandjoe@iformedaband.com! They'll probably get answered by him!
Links mentioned:
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/thefall/the-granny-on-bongos-quote-t42821.html
https://www.vice.com/en/article/the-top-50-greatest-landfill-indie-songs-of-all-time/
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:08
Speaker
It's a nostalgia podcast. It's a nostalgia for our own lives. Yeah. ah Well, I guess we can start. Hi, everybody. Welcome to I Fornaband. Hello. With me, Eddie Argos.
00:00:20
Speaker
And me, Joe Sparrow. the It says here, the Richard and Judy of indie music podcasting. But good. I'll let you decide who's Richard and who's Judy. Which one's the shoplifter?
Eddie Argos' Musical Persona
00:00:32
Speaker
and And, Eddie, ah ah normally I would introduce you using one of the quotes I found from you online. and This time I've got Eddie August, the man that Pitchfork described as a teeth-gnashing musical protagonist. Oh, wow.
00:00:47
Speaker
That sounds nice. The latest in the line of interesting descriptions for your oeuvre. That was from the ah review, by the way, of the two box sets that our brewers recently released.
00:00:59
Speaker
um which which can Can you imagine what score it got on pitchfork.com? Can I imagine? I've already memorized it. I can't Did they go above 10?
00:01:11
Speaker
ah For you? Yes. I guess I'm guessing it's somewhere. I don't know. This is like a self-assessment. It It actually got the most Pitchfork score of all, which is 7.0. 7.0?
00:01:24
Speaker
point zero Yeah. For the two box sets. I mean, they're two very hefty box sets. so yeah Oh, if one box set and one vinyl, the three box sets yet. Well, not according to the review. Wow. They reviewed them both.
00:01:36
Speaker
ah Yeah, it also it's a bit credulous as well, this review. it says Halfway through it says, it was hard to tell how much the band...
Authenticity of Band Member Names
00:01:42
Speaker
was an act. Was their bassist name really Freddie Feedback? question bars Let's be careful. It's not too much of a fight with pitchfork. I'm not questioning them. I'm just saying... It was a real name Freddie Feedback. Yeah.
00:01:53
Speaker
That's good. they mean What about first guitarist Chris Chinchilla? We're really lucky that that's how we met really, but we really knew your names. Yes, I mean, isn't that isn' that amazing? You could have just been in a band with Freddie Smith and Chris Jones, but no.
00:02:07
Speaker
Feedback and chinchilla. It's also because ah my name, if you live in England, you sort of guess maybe it's not my real name. Though it is my real name now. But Americans don't know that. so Often people thought I was like Greek or Hispanic or something. You have a sort of swarthy Greek name.
00:02:23
Speaker
like to be Greek. Anyway, this is, formed a
Argos Catalogue: Listener Q&A
00:02:26
Speaker
band. And so this is the Argos Catalogue, which is where we try and capture the life times and tribulations, I'm pointing at you, Eddie, of the much storied ex beef starter, Eddie Argos.
00:02:37
Speaker
Beef starter? Sounds like i come I'm on the menu. Hands up those who want the new Argos Catalogue. And then we catalog all those learnings in the Argos Catalogue.
00:02:48
Speaker
ah These are, of course, all ah questions that have come from our regular listeners. And if you do want to send a question for the Argos Catalogue, you can email us. And I think it's eddieandjoe at ifom2band.com.
00:03:01
Speaker
Anyway, first question comes from Vera Curtinpole from Rhyl She says, Dear Eddie, when I'm perambulating around the municipal park, I love nothing more than to listen to your podcast and in particular, enjoy the question you ask guests at the end, which is, but what would you have done if you hadn't formed a band?
00:03:17
Speaker
However, I don't care what you would have done if you hadn't formed a band. What I want to know is, what's the worst job you've ever had? Oh, wow, my worst ever job. Um... I've had that succession of, mean I mean, sandwich board man.
00:03:30
Speaker
That was quite a heavy, bad job. A sandwich? So you're wearing the sandwich Sandwich boards for video, all video games exchange on Port High Street. You were a human advertising girl, basically. walked up and down the high street and I got paid £10 a day. And I went up and down. night I took it really seriously to begin with. I had one that was like a placard, like we protest before. It was a really windy day and I boxed around the head and got trouble. right And then, so I got one that you wore over yourself, which is a bit better.
00:03:57
Speaker
But and not another we knew that blew up up pop somebody too. That was great. So you were also a danger to the public. Yeah, was a danger the public. yeah And then but i I was a traffic warden. That's quite a bad job. That is a bad job. i didn't mean to be a traffic warden. So I moved to London um without any plan or any money, really. I quickly needed to get a job. but And I saw an advert in the paper.
00:04:19
Speaker
said Did it say traffic warden? Yeah, it said ah that you were paid for the training, right? So it was in Brixton. I went to some weird place in Brixton and they paid me. um what My plan was just to do the two weeks training and they paid me for the training.
00:04:33
Speaker
ah I thought in that two weeks I could find another real job. yeah But i only ah I was quite young. I'd only recently failed all my A-levels. So when I did really well in the, you did a test at the end, the traffic warden test.
00:04:43
Speaker
I got like 19. Just talk us through the traffic warden test. ah Yeah, I was much better at the test than I was at the practical. It was all about like, can't even remember now. You had to like memorize.
00:04:54
Speaker
You had to like different rules for things. I think it was like a P001 was like a penalty for like late. ah they and they're parked in a double yellow line. It was something else and all these different things. You think all they're teaching in those schools is just how to survive endless abuse from the general of abuse from the general public. People, I was a nice one. But anyway, I did i did the test and I did really well in the test. And I was like wow, well, this is it then, right? This is, I found my calling. I'm going to be a traffic warden And I did it. And I'm just really bad at getting myself out of bad situations. to
00:05:27
Speaker
So I did it for like six or seven months. So you stuck with it then? Well, I didn't have really, I had no choice really, right? Because had to pay my rent and stuff. I was buying for like, I've been a care worker. My job I liked to do was being a care worker and just took me a long time to...
00:05:43
Speaker
Camden hired me, but then it took like months to like give me the job. So I had like six months of being a travel warden. But I met so many famous people. I saw Geri Halliwell I did like Bond Street and Conduit Street and all around those guys. So you had the glamour spot. Yeah, I let Sporty Spice Park on the pavement and smoke a cigarette. I would let Sporty Spice Park on the pavement.
00:06:02
Speaker
And then I became quite friendly with one of the... like It was like an art gallery, and there was like... not like a security guy but like a guy or something and he would always give me like glasses of whatever champagne and stuff really that's nice I would turn a pint I was quite a bad this is supposed to bad job you know not one where it was a delight not where you're meeting the spice girls and getting free champagne that's true it was a very nice job the public hated me right and then people would try and beat me up um that's like like builders would throw things at me and spit at me and stuff and yeah and it wasn't very naive i mean yeah you might even do like 25 tickets a day i'd do like three or four so i was always it always always in trouble okay so it was like and i'd be walking around for like again i was walking around for like i don't know like yeah eight hours a day or something
00:06:50
Speaker
And you issued three tickets, yeah. I can second see perhaps why that didn't last. I got very good at both jobs with the with the sandwich board job. yeah i I was in Paul and Bournemouth quite close. I managed to hide my sandwich board behind a bush in Paul.
00:07:02
Speaker
Went to Bournemouth. I should see Emily came into Bournemouth because i knew she was going to be there. Spent like a day... you know, hanging out and then went back and collected the sign yeah and handed it to me for £10. Well, how do they know? Yeah, exactly. this is both hey They're not tracking you. And then felt bad about that and then I got job in a warehouse after that. felt like I had for more money. Honest work. Yeah, okay, good. and I was reading today that David Schwimmer from Friends, his first job was to, you know, you in American movies when someone gets served papers from a lawyer, they actually someone actually pops out and gives you papers and says, yeah, you're served or something like that. It's subpoena. Yeah, yeah.
00:07:38
Speaker
um he once gave rod stewart his divorce papers oh wow yeah that's pretty good that's pretty good it was all around made of that as well so i saw ash one day like yeah the better studio yeah yeah of course yeah the um this is also what was the shit job you have to write down where you are every three minutes every three minutes in a book you to write down where you were every three minutes like i'm on the corner of wow condor street and street and you had a machine that you had to type into as well this is this is truly terrible now before my break what i would do is i'd write argument with driver 30 minutes and then i go on my break and write break 20 minutes and i come on like another argument with driver 20 minutes but i just spend like an hour in the cafe that's right time for good lunch now you think now that does sound like a bad job but imagine being the person who had to read yeah no one did every day i can't be having my argument with drivers they get longer and longer
00:08:33
Speaker
Right, yeah yeah. Because you became more verbose and better at the job. And then it's a it's a small step but to becoming the speak singer in a band, isn't it, really? But also, such just so it's a whole podcast about being a traffic warden now. I'm i'm i'm happy to happy to lean into this, yeah. But if you're ever in trouble, you say Code Red into your microphone, all the traffic wardens come running to help. Code Yellow's like, oh, they're getting a bit aggy. Code Red's like, this is I'm a bit scared now. So they didn't even bother to really disguise the meaning of the word. It's like everyone knows red is good. It's not like yeah train stations. If you hear like code 112, it means it's a bomb. Like it's not that. No, it's code red. And it's always, you'd hear it and you'd be frantic. ah i guess
00:09:15
Speaker
And then I had it once. I was, it was first thing in the morning and like a builder had parked. I wasn't very good at giving it. was quite nice and kind most of the He parked on the pavement near a school and all the kids were having to walk into the road and that pissed me off. That's obviously bad. Yeah, this is bad, I'm giving you a ticket.
00:09:29
Speaker
First thing in the morning, I was ready for the day. Not JDJ. Yeah, today's the day I need 25 tickets. I started with him and he came out loads of his mates came out. He was like shouting at me. I'm like, fuck. I can knock all this stuff in.
00:09:41
Speaker
But it was so early in the day, and it was so near where the traffic warden place was. When I said Code Red, about 40 traffic wardens appeared. It was amazing. It like a scene from a film. Like the birds, but instead of birds, traffic wardens. And they all just flocked, like ran out. An army of traffic wardens. If you've got a Code Red also, you've got the rest of the day off work.
00:10:01
Speaker
It's quite good. So I think maybe that's why you get some Aggie traffic wardens. Wait, you called a Code Red... Like within 30 minutes of starting the job. Yeah. For the day. Yeah. And I didn't know about that. And someone, my friend Arwell, who I work with, told he like, you know, get the day off if you say you're really shook up about the corporate. Oh, okay. Good. And still pay you. I was like, oh, nice.
00:10:20
Speaker
All right. that's But I suspect maybe some of them are, I feel like it's like a behind the curtain of traffic warning. Yeah, we're learning a lot here. A Roger Cook report or something. Yeah. But the um I think some of them might have been agging to like start a code red and then get paid. Oh, wow. Maybe, right? I don't know. I mean, like you you you know, game the system. Why not? i was reading recently about how, I mean, this may be apocryphal, but in,
00:10:42
Speaker
Like the eighteen hundreds in India, the British invaders were so annoyed by the the poisonous snakes, they said, look, you catch a snake and bring it to us, and we'll pay you.
00:10:53
Speaker
So people started bringing snakes, were cobras or whatever, and they would pay them. And then the then people very smartly realised, well, what if we just breed loads of these snakes, and then we get paid even more? And so then if they got made loads of money, and then...
00:11:08
Speaker
The colonialists realised that. Then they said, OK, we're not going to pay you anymore. So all these people released all the snakes. And then there was more snakes than there was before. So that the ingenuity of humans knows no bans when it comes scamming 23 minutes as a traffic warden. And if you are a traffic warden, please do update us with the most recent scam. I'm sure it's much nicer now. Do you think? I don't know. I think they can do it in the way they did it.
00:11:33
Speaker
I don't know. It's all digital now, isn't it, anyway? Yeah, yes it probably is, right? It's probably all like cameras and stuff. cameras. In London. It's in the sky. Well, I hope that answers your question. ah Just not that... can keep going. I've had loads of shit. that I think that's enough. Well, we can revisit this question. not Not that anyone asked, but my worst job was being... i used to... I mowed lawns on sewage works. Superficially is not a terrible job because it's all these like big areas of grass and you're outside in the summertime. But when one of the pits of shit spills over, right, and it's like a combination of shit and toilet paper, and then it dries out in the sun, and you can't see it because the grass is too long, and you mow through it. Oh, wow. on it And then there's like a cloud of shitty toilet paper in the air, and you're going straight through and breathing it in.
00:12:17
Speaker
I did question my life choices at that point. Did you get to go home if you went for a... Absolutely not. It was just a different code red. It was just a hazard of the job to code brown. Code brown, yeah. ah Anyway, ah next question.
Nostalgia for Top of the Pops
00:12:28
Speaker
This is from... ah Who is it? It's a ah from Dorothy Testes in King's Lynn.
00:12:34
Speaker
ah She says, While I'm whiling away the hours inside my iron lung, I like nothing better than to dream up my ideal Top of the Pops episode. One for you, clearly. For example, I'd like to see an episode set in the late 1970s balloons and tinsel era ah with the mid-90s theme tune, with mid-80s Keith Chegwin presenting, and a lineup that includes Slade, Atari Teenage Riot,
00:13:04
Speaker
napalm death playing you suffer and crowded house closing out the show with their song about the weather but eddie what would your ideal top of the pops episode be like she's kind of nailed it right just i think that sounds great i'm trying to think of my favorite i mean i love um i think javas cock it was always really good top the pops right there was that Yeah, there was a great period in the mid-90s where they got interesting people to present the show. Yeah, when he presented it, that was really good. Yeah. He wore that I hate wet, we wet, wet t-shirt. That's right. That was cool.
00:13:32
Speaker
But also, he performed on it, right, when Tony Christie couldn't do Walk Like a Panther because Jarvis wrote it. I know, this was the All Seeing Eye thing he did, which was great, yeah. And Jarvis was... Tony Christie doesn't know. yes So he was him and he did a really good version of that.
00:13:46
Speaker
So maybe Jarvis Cocker could ah host it and then yeah as finale do... do Close the show out. Maybe he could also relax. Maybe it could be Jarvis Cocker special now. I think he could be... He could open and close it. Relax Muscle could open it. That would be amazing if they'd be on top of the pops.
00:14:03
Speaker
So it's a Jarvis Cocker side... Project. Beginning and end. Beginning and end. It's him presenting. if his a' good Yeah. Yeah. Giving us a work. Okay. He can have a co-host, right?
00:14:15
Speaker
Helen Love or someone? Helen Love, you're going right down the indie path. Yeah, of course, right? hes good David Vaughn would be on it. david yeah Jonathan Richman would be on it. Do you want to throw in a Spice Girl as a co-host? Spice Girl? Sporty Spice might be nice. yeah She owes you.
00:14:28
Speaker
And then Helen Love could play, guess. Oh, and us, we would play. Yes, of course. I mean, that's where we're going with this, isn't it? I mean, that's a very sort of, in terms of the era of Top the Pops, there was that sort of, I think like one year window around 1995 where they would put a lot of indie bands on. It was... I remember You probably have to allow the charlatans on.
00:14:46
Speaker
Yeah. Because they but they were on all the time back then. But what I liked, actually, what I really loved about Top of the Pops then was they was... I mean, I shouldn't be in charge of it really in doing that. Because I liked it. It was so eclectic, you know? You'd be like TLC and then it would be like Belle and Sebastian and then it would be like some weird...
00:15:03
Speaker
Euro dance hit and then it would be like some like fast food rockers or something like one hit you know or they'd be like yeah that is what I'd like so I think what if I was in charge of Top of the Pops like this one special thing that this lady says yeah I'd put a load of my favorite bands and then like weird bands like one hit wonder bands yeah in a bag and take them out Like a tombola. Like a tombola. Jarvis Cocker looks like a man who would enjoy running tombola. And he wouldn't have the play, but if he pulled himself out the bag. So I would not like to program it. I'd like to be surprised. But I'd like to have a few of my favorites in the mix.
00:15:42
Speaker
No, I think that's a nice idea. And actually, looking back now at episodes of Top of the Pops from that period, that sort of mid-90s period where anything went, and Eddie, with your and mine slightly cynical experience of being in the music industry for a while, you can see how they kind of crowbar these new pop acts in who've...
00:16:01
Speaker
that that This was obviously when there was no TikTok or anything. This is how they were presented to the world for the first time. Bands like M&Ate. ah I've got a little little something for They had a little something for us. They had many little somethings over the years. They were on top of the pops a lot. And they never really sort of made it huge. But they were big enough, I guess. When we spoke to Biss about this, I think Andrew Dunstan, right? That's right. womba and it was yeah but very Especially with Biss. remember watching that. I said it in the podcast.
00:16:27
Speaker
It was like To All The Pops had broken or something. Like, oh, was yeah something's happened. This is this is amazing. like yeah Like someone had hacked the airwaves. Do you have a favourite period of Top of the Pops? Like, but when you when we look back now at Top of the Pops, you you go back to the 60s when it's all a bit sort of stayed and still and a bit weird.
00:16:45
Speaker
And then the 70s when it was, they kind of, it went a bit sort of glittery. And then they had that weird period in the early 80s where there were lots of balloons. There was lots of balloons bouncing around because it was a bit like a sort of church church hall party in a village. Yeah.
00:16:57
Speaker
And then it got a bit cool in the and then it got very bland at the end. there a preferred period you? think, also, I bought a painting, I wish could remember the artist's name, of Top the Pops in the 80s, have it on the wall my bedroom, like a drawing of this, like, balloon version of Top the Pops, it's amazing.
00:17:13
Speaker
I liked that. I think, it's like having your own Doctor Who, right? Like, my Top of the Pops. It was the watched, like, in in the mid-90s, I guess. I like to keep that. Maybe Jay Middlemuss and Jamie Thigston. Jane Middlemiss is a good shout. Yeah, yeah. He's a big fan. Yeah.
00:17:26
Speaker
Sorry, John's got to push to her the river away. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's already on stage twice. I mean, come on. Avery pulls himself like that. Yeah, right. You have trans-temporal bands. You can a band from their peak in 1992 playing in your... In the mid-19th. Yeah, that's what I would like. Yeah, like Carter USM doing Let's Get Tattoo. I think they probably that until I probably did, yeah. And it's good to know that if a time machine was invented, some people will go back to, you know, Kill Baby Hitler, you would get your ideal Top of the Pops episode with Hell and Love and with Carter USM on the same episode. David Devon. Yeah, yeah, fantastic. But also, because of time machines, I'd get them all in, but they'd only get to on stage if they got pulled out of a hat.
00:18:03
Speaker
Oh, They'd just be standing around. It'd be amazing green room, though, wouldn't it? Yeah, amazing. So you would destroy their sense of time and space. it's Just to make them wait around. breakdown To leave them nibbling biscuits in the green room. maybe. you If Gavis Kroker pulled your name out of this tombola, then you're going to play so be ready.
00:18:20
Speaker
And the audience are going to be very confused no matter what happens. Exactly. This is great. thought we should have run in the first place. Yeah, this is exactly Well, if you're listening out there, anyone with, first of all, a time machine and be the rights to Top of the Pops, please email us. Eddie's interested.
00:18:34
Speaker
um Let's move
Disliked Bands and Music Criticism
00:18:35
Speaker
on to the next question. This is from regular listener Edith Hazlitt. think she's ah emailed before from Ramsbottom. Says, Dear Eddie, what with all this woke and PC gone mad, we're now no longer allowed to express our true feelings. For instance, I'm not allowed to say that I hate the band Queen.
00:18:49
Speaker
because I find their music contrived and overblown, and that their songs are the Greg's sausage roll of music, that is superficially tasty but ultimately unsatisfying and unhealthy. This is just her opinion.
00:19:00
Speaker
ah good Also, fans of their music are naive and afraid of change. And are scared of proper music like Ocean Coliseum and Whitesnake. But my question for you is, which bands you unaccountably dislike and why? This is a safe space you can share. Well, I think also, Edith has been to the age care a little bit about work listening.
00:19:16
Speaker
Yes. I am trying, though. not i've I've made a concerted effort. Well, you're an ex-beef guy. Yeah, I wrote an article, right, for Talk House about what dickhead used to be and how I used to fight bands all the time. Why was that? Why did you do that?
00:19:29
Speaker
why Why did I write the article? of why why you Why did you pick fights for bands? Um... Fragile ego? No. I think it was... um I'd always, was like when i read The Enemy and stuff before but my band, I'd always had a strong opinion about what was good and what was bad.
00:19:46
Speaker
And then when we were in The Enemy, I didn't really think about it being any different. I carried on yeah being very honest. And then, yeah, because I met people i met like um and met people from bands at the time, like in the bar in Berlin and stuff. And like, oh, I thought you were going to be horrible.
00:20:05
Speaker
I had this reputation being like, I was never really horrible, I don't think. just didn't I just say... Just loose-lipped. I mean, I hated like the others. I still do hate the others, right? They're a terrible man. But I find... Bring out the beast.
00:20:19
Speaker
You know, the Bloc party. I got punched in the head right for that. by You got punched in the head? Kelly from the block party kicked me in there. I think I remember this, yeah. It's funny, in the paper... What did you say about Bloc party? I said... Also, it was in the day...
00:20:35
Speaker
um before I didn't really have a laptop or anything so I didn't really understand the reach of the internet right so Jeremy Allen from Playloud interviewed me at Gillespie and was hammered and we're talking about Block Party and I think Kelly had been mean about Oasis or something. I can't remember that. And I said, well, you know, Bloc Pie, he can be mean or likes about Oasis, but he's just ripping off bands from a different era.
00:20:59
Speaker
It's still just nonsense about chocolate and helicopters. It's not really worth punching someone in the head. Yeah, well, it went on a bit. but So i i said that, I guess. I was just sort saying, it's no different than...
00:21:12
Speaker
Him ripping off Dan with Goods is no different than Oasis ripping off Slade. Do you mean? It's a different record collection. and yeah And none of your lyrics make sense with both bands, right? this is This is kind of... so This is what you said then. You don't hold this... For clarity, ah Kelly, Eddie does not hold this opinion But I've forgotten I'd said it, right?
00:21:30
Speaker
And I didn't really think... I thought, oh, the internet. None of them would be bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not like I sent it to a newspaper. In my head, that's how it worked. And then that same festival summer, we played Tea in the Park and Kelly dedicated Helicopter to me from the stage. I was like, wow, that's nice of it.
00:21:50
Speaker
What's he doing that for? I didn't even know liked me. I thought we'd really get along. And then he went on TV on T4 and he called me Fatty Argos. They said, who are you forward to seeing this weekend? And he said Fatty Argos.
00:22:01
Speaker
And but if people didn't even know my actual name. So like, calling me Fatty Argos, were like, okay, cool. I've never heard of that band. What are they like? was very confusing. But wasn't that very nice? And I said at the time, that's the sort of comments that killed Karen Carpenter. It's not very nice to be like that. Yes.
00:22:14
Speaker
And... Yeah. And also, you're going to call me fat, you should dedicate Banquet to me. It was helicopter I'd been mean about. But I'd forgotten all of it. i was I thought he was being nice by delegating Banquet to me. That was nice of him.
00:22:27
Speaker
We were both from the Newcross scene, kind of. And then my friends were texting me, ah Kelly just called you fat on T4. Really? Wow. And then... Yeah, and then later I was out in Shoreditch, which I was really embarrassed about. I didn't like going to Shoreditch. I was a bad mood anyway. I'd been made to go to Shoreditch.
00:22:45
Speaker
I think maybe the Rakes were playing or something. There was a good reason liked Rakes. This mid-naughties. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a very mid-naughties story, right? I guess even more. So I went in and then Kele was there and he kept glaring at me and like being weird.
00:22:57
Speaker
Yeah. like Aggie and stuff and I went over to him to try and apologise and I said sorry to him and then he carried on me weird and I said I'm sorry i said what I said to a journalist but you are a bit moany and I said as I said moany I made like the moany motion with my hand oh yeah yeah and then he decked me in the and the bouncers pulled him out and threw him out actually their manager was Simon from Menswe@r so I had Simon from Menswe@r holding us apart but holding him away from I wasn't trying to fight anything.
00:23:29
Speaker
And then he left, got thrown out by the bouncers for being like an aggy guy. And then they let back in again. And then he jumped in the air and kicked me in the chest, like a flying kick. It was pretty amazing. wow yes i will come Wow. Kung Fu. And then, but that followed me around for, about people don't even forgot about it but it followed me around for eight months. We were in Canada in a chip shop and opened a magazine and it was like me and it was like, Kelly is the right dickhead and all this. was like, wow like that traveled far I don't want to be known for that.
00:23:56
Speaker
I don't know how much. But, didn' you know, I didn't want It was quite... ah And it was in, like, The Sun and stuff, and in the start like in the tabloid papers. Wow. And it called him... ah front man and me a singer. which I guess he's sometimes. There was that read back through 90s issues of The Enemy or The Melody Maker or whatever,
00:24:16
Speaker
i guess he's quite sensitive and um i but did did did could sometimes but there was that thing i mean we're talking about the mid naughties now but it in the sort of the ninety s if you read back through ninety s issues of the enemy or the mely make or whatever people the The writers have very strong opinions, especially, I'm not just on the letters page where people would write it and just vent about things, but but the writers would just shoot bands down. They would be very sort of harsh.
00:24:41
Speaker
ah That awful thing with Kingmaker and Suede, right? They'd be awful about, i mean, Lodz doesn't make music anymore. Yeah. That's awful. I love Kingmaker. Yeah, they were a great band. But but that was that was the atmosphere at the time, and it's very hard to imagine that now. So, we I mean, this question was about bands you sort of unaccountably don't like. I think you have a ah valid reason after being kicked in the head.
00:24:58
Speaker
I saw him years later here in Berlin. He won an award for like best, is this solo record, best live act or something. And I was giving an award at the same show testing for like Wellington boots with a style icon or something.
00:25:10
Speaker
So i was I was hosting a thing and he won a thing. Wellington Boots, the the object, not the band. Yeah, yeah. Is it Wellington Boots? Yes. Not the band. ah Awesome. Hello, Brooklyn with Wellington Boots. I don't know Wellington Boots existed. I don't know. I'm assuming they do. yeah make ah Hunter. It was Hunter's Boots. They won Boot of the Year or something.
00:25:30
Speaker
and ah But I saw him and I thought, ah, this has been years now, right? It'd be nice to be like, hey, man, what an idiot I was. Aren't you nice? well Stupid, aren't And he wouldn't make any eye contact with me.
00:25:40
Speaker
When I went on stage, to like, give the word, he looked away. Like, right wouldn't look at me on the stage. okay And then, at the end, there's a free bar. Everyone was walking to the free bar. Where's the story going? No, no, no, it's not where you're going. He put on a pair of went into bits and he kicked me in the head. No, but I was rushing, because of the way I am, guess, towards the free bar.
00:26:00
Speaker
I didn't really see that it was him in front of me. And a journalist or photographer leant over me and tapped him on the shoulder. And he I think he thought it was me tapping him the shoulder. of course And he just zoomed off into the distance.
00:26:11
Speaker
I regret it. I think all those bands I was mean about, like all those pop-tone bands and stuff, we had more in common than we didn't. you know We were all just excited to be in bands. and Yeah, and that's the that is what the atmosphere was like back then, or maybe just a bit before then. But you it was to sort of you know being...
00:26:28
Speaker
um unkind to other to bands or whatever whether you're a journalist or or another band but actually when you look at how the the world is now you i don't think anyone would ever do that like i think there' there's there's now a sort of clear line like being mean to a major label band fine like you two you can say this shit and ah i don't think anyone's going to be upset or hurt like i'm sure bono listening to this would disagree but if you don't like them, you're not really hurting anyone. You're punching up.
00:26:54
Speaker
But like to have a go at ah a band of like where there's four people really trying hard to do something they care about, yeah the atmosphere has changed now, hasn't it? Yeah. Also, it's very easy to be funny by being mean. jimmy It's like quite an easy way of... It's too easy to do to be... and that's right Yes, okay. So then we've all grown up. That's fine. And everyone's happy.
00:27:12
Speaker
a Final ah email then from listener Nora Sausages from the Isle of Man writes, Dear Eddie, one of the things that keeps me awake at night... apart from the troublesome digestive transit issues that have arisen due to my diet of boiled eggs, black pudding and clotted cream fudge, is the idea that when pop music historians look back in 100 years time, Art Brute may be lumped in with the, quote, landfill indie scene of the mid-noughties, which would be entirely, in my opinion, inappropriate.
00:27:39
Speaker
Much like Billy Idol being considered a punk artist, is The Verve being Britpop or Fleetwood Mac being considered good. ah I like it.
Landfill Indie Scene and Listener Concerns
00:27:48
Speaker
Ireland sausages. My question is, looking back now, what do you think of that landfill indie scene, the bands, and that scene name? Because those bands now generally have a bad feeling about them.
00:28:00
Speaker
Landfill indie bands? Yeah. We don't have to critically rate these bands per se. I wouldn't. No, I'm just going to, a bit of context here. If you're not familiar with the landfill indie phenomenon...
00:28:12
Speaker
ah Vice magazine, in an article I'll link to, which was the top 50 greatest landfill indie songs of all time, which we can touch on in a minute, Vice said, landfill indie remains one of the least exciting things to happen to music this century Which, i mean, we're not very far into this century, so it's perhaps not a very fair thing to say.
00:28:28
Speaker
But it was a phenomenon at the time of being a lot of bands all being on TV and and everywhere all at once. My understanding of it, one, I don't like the term land for Lindy, because that's not that's quite a mean thing to say about a band, think.
00:28:41
Speaker
Yeah, I'm nice now. yeah It's amazing. Look how you've changed. But like the, understanding of Land for Lindy is like the bands that came later. Yeah, like, it was like a first wave of stuff. I think, I mean, this is, if someone ever called me Land for Lindy, I'd be like, not really, because we came along, like our first single came out but right after like think even around the same time as the first Franz Ferdinand single and the first Kaiser D's like we weren't Johnny Come Lately's or something we there wasn't like a band that we were looking up to I mean we didn't hear Franz Ferdinand start a band we were already a band yeah you just the I think the way it started was there was a bunch of people who sort of did bands around those times like Franz Ferdinand who were doing it for that reason and it's the scene sort of coalesced didn't it it came together it wasn't really the same
00:29:28
Speaker
No, it was just a disparate bunch of artists and it got all coming together. Then he gets clubbed together. And then there's suddenly a new wave of all these other bands coming along yeah and filling a space. And it did feel like there was a lot of bands that needed two more years on the shelf to finish cooking. Maybe there's money going on. I don't really...
00:29:45
Speaker
but like it was i But also i think it's kind of cool that everyone's quite excited about guitar music again. And then the strokes came along and made it all boring again. And then it kind of, I don't know, this very exciting again. You know, France Vendor, that first was brilliant. I'd like to pledge that hand.
00:29:59
Speaker
You take me out. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I mean, I love that first Kai's Juice record, actually. Yeah, it's a great I think, actually, I guess they're about the same age as me, the Kai's Juice. Yeah, I should think so. I think we were probably like, I was like listening to Pulp, and we were like kids to grow up looking at Britpop and thought, ah, well, course you're an indie band and go on top of the pop. The Vice article here, which I found, which is actually quite a good encapsulation of this moment in time, says that they've, in their list of the top 50 landfill indie songs of all time, they've taken out of the running Kate Nash, Jamie T, the Ting Tings, Lily Allen, the Subways, Franz Ferdinand and the Puppets for being too innovative and therefore not true landfill. I don't understand. yeah
00:30:42
Speaker
but But let's get, look, if I just, I'm i'm not i'm not asking you to rate these bands. i I'm just saying like at number 50 in their list is Pete and the Pirates. who was ah And that was a band yeah I really enjoyed. Yeah, I think I remember reading, i i read this list at the time and it made me angry. I nearly tweeted and stuff, but that's what they wanted you to do, isn't it? So I didn't.
00:30:59
Speaker
You didn't do it. I didn't do it. That's too gross. I bit my knuckle and didn't do it. But there's like Maxima Parker in there and like the Young Knows in there. And those are like, there's an art rock. I fought in the in the pits of art rock with those guys at the Buffalo Bar. Those aren't like indie landfill bands. Those are like...
00:31:14
Speaker
I mean, you've got bands who I would say, and I'm trying to, it's hard to say Lanphil Indy without sounding insulting. Right, because it's insulting term. It's an insulting term. But bands that I would truly associate with that sort of wave of bands, like the Paddingtons, the Pigeon Detectives, they are they are what I have in my head when think about it. Yeah, I think I don't like the term.
00:31:34
Speaker
you've also got Maximo Park, who are great. You talk to Paul Smith, or you talk to the Young Knives, they haven't listened to XTC. It's not like they were like making music to like get on top of the pops and... They'd seen other bands doing, them right they were already in bands doing interesting things. Yeah.
00:31:48
Speaker
There are band names here I have not thought about for a very long time. Jolene and the Jingjangjong, Milburn. Jolene and the Jingjangjong is the guy from the Pipettes, right? That's right. And... The View.
00:32:00
Speaker
The View. The at back, right? The Enemy. and the i think these are all back. The Enemy back. The Enemy said it's all with the subways, yeah. Mumra, wow. This is taking me back to my blogging days in a really weird way. i um i really Mumra's song.
00:32:13
Speaker
But I used Mumra confused with the wombats. I think they're It happens at Bombay Bicycle Club. i'm i'm not i Look, I'll leave the i will leave that list beneath the podcast for you to... But I think that this was intentionally contentious, right? Because I looked at it and I got genuinely angry about the Young Knives being in it. How would you feel if... And Max from the Park being in it. Well... I guess the the the the bigger question here is one of... um because I think what annoys me is that it's been written by a person, by a music writer that doesn't really have a fucking clue what's going on. It wasn't there. Yeah, it doesn't really, is looking at it the wrong way and doesn't really, not even wasn't there. I think if just the little bit of, ah there's a few people writing books about this stuff at the moment, right? me Also, it's indie sleaze now. and anyway It's not Lamphalinda anymore. It's indie sleaze, isn't it? It's indie sleaze It's sleazy because of a glitter and tight leather jackets.
00:33:00
Speaker
Yeah, because of that Terry Richardson, I guess. Yes, it's awful. Literal sleaze. But yes, people people who were young then are now hitting that age where they have disposable income and are perhaps ready to buy that Bromheads jacket box set.
00:33:14
Speaker
Bons and Jack are great. They just come back. There you go. You see, it makes a lot of sense. Not landing in that Landy Infield. That's what I'm going call it. Landy Infield. Landy Infield is the good stuff. They are playing with Wellington Boot. Isn't that brilliant? They're like, all of a sudden, they're like loads of working class bands doing stuff, playing festivals. and We're on tour so much. Like here in Germany and in America and stuff.
00:33:34
Speaker
that and my musical tastes went that way too. Like was, I or wasn't listening to Mum Around and stuff. I was listening to like, I was just, I don't know. I didn't mean to sound like that, but like, you know, the Mountain Goats and the Silver Jews and stuff. I was, hold steady, you know? I was way more into that stuff at that point in time. It's interesting, isn't it? Because it's when you look back at any sort of scene, then you would look back at, let's say, very obvious example, the 90s and say, oh, Britpop, well, that's like blown Oasis and Pulp. But actually, someone like if if we sat down had that conversation, we'd perhaps say, well, actually, i don't think I wouldn't really count Oasis as true Britpop because it became to mean this other thing when actually we they were talking about suede and you know ah but yeah whatever.
00:34:15
Speaker
So you know not that I think you're a person who's ah enormously... concerned about how you're going to be viewed in 100 years' time. But would it would you would you feel sort of slightly um ripped off if you were lumped in? with Landfill in? you were you were Yeah, you were tipped into the landfill.
00:34:34
Speaker
Yeah, i think I would. I would not like the other bands on the list. I mean, like we were playing at Buffalo Bar. We were like fanzines and stuff. I mean, it was very different than those other bands, I think. It was a fanzine time as well. It was a very it was a very it was a it was a very unusual time, wasn't it? Because it was sort of post-Britpop. So trying to push away from that, it was sort of in that slightly pre or early social media phase.
00:35:00
Speaker
So you you it was just around that MySpace moment. But then people were actively making offline things. Like a lot. I mean, it's hard to explain this now, but there were a lot of fanzines out there. Very DIY. Art Rock was amazing. So you sold Art Rock on, right? can't believe it was a system.
00:35:18
Speaker
You took it from them and you sold it and you got the money for selling Art Rock. Yeah. To be clear, it isn' it sounds a little bit like a pyramid scheme, but that's not what Eddie said. It was good. Like kids were selling it and making the money. yeah There was nothing in Back to Topman. Yeah. Paul, I that think.
00:35:33
Speaker
I mean, we were giving it away on our merch desk and stuff at Rocker, you know? Oh, yeah, it was fundamental to that. And we and we we were in at Rocker so much that the Chalets we were on tour with thought it was our fan team. You write about yourself a lot. No, it's not that. is a I've met Andrew Harrison a few times, who was the journalist who came up with that ah and line. And I think it was just sort of a throwaway, like a lot of things are with, with those so you define you accidentally define a whole 10 years of music with this a line that you wrote in in in something once under a deadline and you don't think about it. And then all of a sudden it's now known as landfill indie. You can't put all guitar music in noughties into one category.
00:36:11
Speaker
And all those bands sound totally different. yeah i't but I think we're not in that list, but I think it's probably because... yeah I don't think you are in that list. Not because that, but just forgot that we exist. Well, it's a blessing. It's a blessing. ah So that's it. if you um If you do have a question for Eddie to pad out the Argos catalogue, you can email us at eddieandjoe at iponderband.com. Now, there's we've got one more thing I want to do before we leave. It's a new section I've invented for the non-guest episodes. It's called Me and Your Granny on Bongos.
00:36:38
Speaker
And this is the podcast feature that takes Mark E Smith's famous quote, "If it's me and your granny on bongos, it's the Fall" and applies it to other bands. Basically, how many bands could survive the loss of all members except its key member and still continue pretty much as before?
00:36:56
Speaker
I want to first of all test the theory here. Was Mark E Smith correct in the sense that if it was just him and literally a granny on bongos, could a fall record have been made? And could it have been Would fall fans, who are not, I'm not saying they're famously obtuse men of a certain age, but would they have accepted that and actually like double down on it?
00:37:19
Speaker
I think it'd be Stuart Lee's favourite all out of the I the, you know, I'd like it too. they um i What I like about The Fall is that that with the lineup changing, the music does sound different, right? I've seen different films. But also the same. Like, it's definitely The Fall time. Yeah, way he's very distinctive, right? And it's not just him, I guess. But yeah, um but what I like about that is that it's all called The Fool, but it does...
00:37:48
Speaker
evolve and change and there's different periods of the god yeah fall. Oh, the fall of this period with you know with bricks or this period. Oh, it's definitely sedimentary. You can dig through and find all these different moments. So I like, this is a totally different story now. but go on a time No, no, please. But when but we played in Shondorf recently, he told us that he' he's been booking this venue in Shondorf for years and years and years years the fall played there. And he said when the fall came, Markie Smith came up to and said, can I stay in love with you? I fucking hate all those guys. about the fool you wouldn't be in and you wouldn't be with as bad yeah but because I am in the moment thinking about either releasing a record under my own name or as our brooks with different people and stuff
00:38:28
Speaker
Do you have a grandma on bongos for this project? i had Any grand. It doesn't have to be your grand. I could get yeah Jake's grand. I get my mum, I guess. yeah um listen if you if you Listen a minute. If you do a record with you and your mum on bongos, I think we're guaranteeing a number one.
00:38:48
Speaker
And there's definitely a tension. You're that hypothetical top of the pops. Yeah. Well, let's test the theory out. I'm thinking about the Smiths and Morrissey by itself as well. Well, okay. So you've beaten me to my list, but let's just go for an easy one.
00:39:00
Speaker
Bon Jovi, right? Now, you've got to keep Jon Bon Jovi as the key member in that because he' he's the namesake of the band. Could you lose everyone else and could Bon Jovi still be successful?
00:39:11
Speaker
I would say probably because he's such a focal point. It hasn't, like, I mean... And he did a solo career, and I couldn't tell you the difference between the songs he did in his solo career and Bon Jovi. Richie Sambora has left, right? fun jovi ah Maybe. i mean theyve i think I think this is happening, and no one's noticed. We're testing the theory. you've done one that's actually on the go, and no one's realised. Yeah. Did you know about it? We said this already, that they have a song called like Shot Through the Heart.
00:39:37
Speaker
and it's not the one you're thinking of. It's like they used that, there's a song called Shot Through the Heart, which is not good. And then they took that title and used it as the opening line in You Give Love a Bad Name. yeah And that's the good one. But it's confusing, if I guess, if you're not Bon Jovi fan. Okay, what about Radiohead? They're the bandiest band of all the bands, right?
00:39:56
Speaker
could Could they shed the dead weight of Johnny Greenwood? And could Tom get some session musos in, and could they do a Radiohead album that people would be okay with?
00:40:09
Speaker
Surely Ray had a band I reckon Tom York could use AI to make his record and make a point of that. Because he's really on the side of doing absolutely terrible things to music, right? It's their fault, all this Spotify and stuff. ah The biggest band in the world saying, pay one for my records.
00:40:23
Speaker
It was an absolutely shockingly bad idea. So I'd imagine sticking to the form of Tom York being a terrible artist. You're running the risk of Tom York kicking you in the head. Yeah, I can take him.
00:40:35
Speaker
I think, I'd imagine Tom York would make a record out of AI yeah and and sing over it. I mean, sorry, Tom York. No, I think you're right. I think he'd be like, and it's Radiohead. Oh, maybe, I don't know, man.
00:40:47
Speaker
I'm not really a fan of Radiohead. i ah He's got a very distinctive voice. isn't that' not if if I think if he was there and some sort of arrhythmic, quasi-experimental music in the background that was well played and and recorded and I think very tasteful. I think he could get away with it.
00:41:05
Speaker
I think the fans would accept it. Yeah. They'd be disappointed by the loss of all these other incredibly talented... it really He has a side of the project. Smiled. Smiled. Yeah. right And that's him in a couple hits. Sounds like radio heard Finally, the Smiths.
00:41:17
Speaker
i I jumped. yeah um why i almost Could and Morrissey have gotten away with it? What have you called his band? ah if Look, if... I'm friends with Boz too. I'm friends with Boz from Morrissey's band. Right.
00:41:30
Speaker
Now, Morrissey, of course, released a bunch of fantastic solo records. yeah right that's hard yeah yeah yeah he did but yeah and do they sound kind of smithsy mean it's morrissey i don't mick ronson i mean you i mean look if he'd done that and said my first morrissey solo album is the smiths would the smiths fans would he have gotten away with it i because of the way morrissey is now talking about this on stage, right, at the moment. mike You're talking about Morrissey on the stage? Yeah, often.
00:42:02
Speaker
Morrissey generally talks about things when he wants attention for his upcoming project. So you're doing this to spite Morrissey? I was saying on stage about, we have a song called Axl Rose. was thinking about Morrissey and Axl Rose a bit too much. And think it'll i was saying, when I had a baby with my brother growing up, yeah and he would listen to Guns N' Roses. I'm listening to Morrissey. And he'd be playing Guns N' Roses. And I'd say, hey man, you can't listen to that.
00:42:23
Speaker
That guy's a racist. um And has it how the tables are turned. So, I mean, i find it very hard to think about it, actually. I mean, I love this myth, right? Of course. Morris is audacious, the lyrics, but like, yeah, a lot of it's really problematic.
00:42:41
Speaker
Even at the time, you know people were giving him too much of the benefit of the doubt, I think. But... um The Smiths, for me, is... i can still get away with listening to The Smiths and not feeling good. Yeah, for sure. this is it they mean that move Johnny Marr. I mean, Boz is also great, right?
00:42:58
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, we've got a slightly different question here, which is, how do you separate the art from the artist? I'm really content. I'm glad you've taken us there. but but But I think, and this is perhaps controversial, I think, and this is absolutely nothing against the three other members of the Smiths who are all fabulous musicians, but I think he could have got away with it. I think that... I think Johnny DeMille's too unique.
00:43:21
Speaker
Do you think... don't i mean and I don't mean like... I think the fans would have accepted it. I don't know. I think enough fans. I think... I know that's hard to believe. I think this is... mean, don't know. Morrissey also said this, right? It's not supposed to... I think like... I think... Yeah, I think Johnny Marr.
00:43:41
Speaker
You need Johnny Marr, I think. You mean like BDI is an Oasis? do mean Well, now that's a very good counter-argument, isn't it? Because like, I think... BDI were all of Oasis except Noel, or the last iteration of Oasis.
00:43:54
Speaker
It wasn't good. and Which is ah good good news for all of you out there who have paid 350 quid to see Oasis next summer. I think this myth is quite delicate. a bit of art I think there's definitely something happening you can't you can't play with those ingredients I don't think no in Call of the Smiths no but that's also because I'm more invested in the Smiths than I am in the other band when did you say Radiohead Radiohead Bon Jovi and The Fall yeah The Fall I got The Fall of course about the young Right, well, that's that's that put to bed then. ah Interesting context, by the way, and I'll share this link, is that ah the that famous quote from Markie Smith, which is, if it's me and your granny on bongos, it's the fall.
00:44:30
Speaker
It was never actually directly from the mouth of Markie Smith. it was it was a quote from his, at the time, ah PR person. Yeah. there so there's been some fracas if you can imagine the the fall somehow having a fracas that ah meant a show didn't happen but he said well i can't i haven't spoken to mark but he did say this to me a few months ago which is if it's me and your granny on bongos it's the fall so you can run there and so the quote is actually directly from marcus smith at all he said it at some point when he was drunk and then it got repurposed months later for a journalist can i make me my mom on bongos record i know
00:45:06
Speaker
I think you could, and I think that you're really veering into the territory of, like, I'm going to say Yoko Ono, levels of weirdness. That's the dream. Yeah. Yeah, good. all right, i'll do it. Okay.
00:45:20
Speaker
ah Well, you'll hear about it. You'll hear about it here first, folks, when Eddie finally gets around to the yeah Momon Bongo's part of his career. Other than that, Eddie, thank you very much for revealing all of those things from your life. We're slowly documenting all the most important stuff.
00:45:37
Speaker
Hands up those who want the new Argos catalogue. um As ever, if you do want to get in touch, you can. It's eddieandjoe at ifoundaband.com.
00:45:48
Speaker
Or if you're not a subscriber to this podcast, why not? Because you just think of all the solid deep-fried gold we've just unearthed, courtesy of your questions. If you do have a question, do get in touch, and it will be lobbed across to Eddie, who can talk about various beefs he's had over the years.
00:46:05
Speaker
So that's it. Eddie, thanks very much, as ever. It's been a pleasure. And so from the Eichbommerband glistening tower of steel, glass and concrete here in Berlin, farewell. you soon.