71 - X-Factor #1-4

Transcript

Speaker: I'm Trish Tobey with W.A.R.C. reporting to you live from Westchester, New York, where there appears to be some sort of mutant menace on the loose.

Speaker: Hey everybody, I'm Matt Aucamp. And I'm Pat Reber. And say it with us, Iceman. not Welcome to to Mutant Menace. People have been sending, it do you expect a new name every week, Matt? It's just, we don't, I just, I...

Speaker: I panicked that time. I knew we had some names, but I panicked. Pat. Matt. What the F are we doing in here on this podcast today? i You called me here. You said it's an emergency. I got to tell you something. We got to talk about this. You know, one of the X-Men podcasts that I listened to, That just covers comic books. You fucking traitor.

Speaker: I know. I'm sorry. i shouldn't. They held an emergency podcast because of the Avengers Doomsday trailer that dropped that was so X-Men centric. And they were like, we have to talk about this. And it's an hour long.

Speaker: Wow. Yeah. And like, listen, i love this podcast, but I... i I don't need that. I don't need the trailers. Two minutes. Right. Exactly.

Speaker: i was listening to a post. I've been trying to find. There's some interests of mine that I have not been able to find podcasts for. One of them being. Movie films.

Speaker: Right. yeah We were just talking about this off air. But one of them being Pokemon. I can't find like a podcast that will talk about Pokemon and the games and stuff. Do I know the games? Never mind. In a way that is like...

Speaker: interesting and funny and not the way that the one, the that one of the biggest Pokemon podcast does, which is they're like, there was a leak of three market for this.

Speaker: Like, yeah, like there was a leak of three images of potential new Pokemon. And we talk about it for two and a half. hours It's like, what the fuck, man? I've, I've, I've tried, I've tried and man, i cannot,

Speaker: Didn't we just release a bonus episode that was about 90 minutes on one issue of a comic book? Listen, we're talking about X Factor today. That's why you called me here. is you saw you saw these murder on ad You saw an advertisement on TV of these these guys called X Factor who said that they'll take care of any mutant menace in your hometown.

Speaker: i said they're using our name. We should sue. Yeah, folks, X Factor is X Factor is he X Factor is here. We're we're to X Factor. And it's this is the first X title not written by Chris Claremont.

Speaker: Yes, this is quite a story, right? The fact that it's not being written by Chris Claremont. Yeah, so they outline this both in the in Marvel Comics, The Untold Story, which we reference all the time, and the documentary Claremont's X-Men, which is the art artist Bob Layton had this idea for X-Factor, right?

Speaker: And... he was going to have it be the original X-Men, but since Gene was gone, Dazzler was going to be the fifth. And you can kind of see in some other comics how they're positioning Dazzler to be that person, right? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Which ends up like... Not panning out. Not panning out, but then they use that to put Dazzler into X-Men, right? Like, it it it works out for everybody. of worship yeah, yeah. But at the same time, then, i guess Jim Stupid is like, we want to put...

Speaker: gene gray in this we want it to be the five original x-men and they don't exactly know how but john byrne and roger stern have a conversation they're like we have an idea to bring gene gray back o and john byrne remembers a fan theory from kurt busiak about how you can bring gene gray back and we'll talk about that as this as this comes up yeah yeah i think that's worth noting it is busiak who at the time is a just fan of marvel comics and talked to john byrne at like a comic and like a comic and was and was like just a little nerd going god you should totally bring gene gray back and here's how you could do it here's how i would do it

Speaker: So they knew that it was going to happen. And they knew Claremont would lose his fucking. And they knew it would lead into an X-book not written by Claremont. And they knew Claremont would lose his fucking mind. Yeah.

Speaker: So. They didn't even. they Not one word of this was mentioned to him while all this planning was going on. So Ann Nocenti, his editor at the time. Takes him to takes him out to dinner on a Friday night.

Speaker: Importantly, takes him to a restaurant that is farther away than it takes to get back to the office before they close. That was very deliberate. And then she tells him about it.

Speaker: He flips out. He's like, I'm going fucking quit. Fuck these guys. I'm going to the pay phone to call Jim stupid right now. What's his number? And she's like, I won't tell you his number.

Speaker: I want you to take the weekend to think it through. And he's like, fuck that. And he, you know, storms out and whatever. He doesn't get there. He cannot quit because by the time he could get to anywhere or call Jim stupid, Jim stupid is gone for the weekend. So, and this is obviously a time before cell phones. So he takes the weekend.

Speaker: He writes like a dozen. This is according to Jim stupid. He writes like a dozen pitches for how he could bring Jean back in his own book. Yeah. Yeah. Stupid rejects all of them, which I think is one of those rare good things.

Speaker: impulses like i don't think up till here anybody has behaved in a way that i approve appreciate or approve right but him being like no chris i'm not going to halt all the other books so that you can do some crazy chris claremont shit to bring in motion yeah to bring gene back and you know the way claremont would have done it would have been crazy Yeah, and took taken two years. Right? So ultimately, he doesn't quit.

Speaker: But he's not happy. And it's it's slated that Roger Stern, who had the original idea to bring Jean back, they let him start the story in Avengers, Avengers 263. Then they let John Byrne actually be the one to bring her back in Fantastic Four 286.

Speaker: And then she's all set to star in X Factor number one. Absolute madness. Nuts. And I'll tell you what's clear to me before we even dig into these issues is somebody said, boy, ye I miss the old X. Right. I love the Silver Age, Roy Thomas era like.

Speaker: goofy weird X-Men that just fight a bunch of monsters or whatever. Um, And so but Bob Layton took that on. Like it's it's clearly maybe it was Roger Stern. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jim stupid was like tired of this woke nonsense in all these X-Men comics. Let's let's just make a normal comic again. And yeah, put put together. OK, one more.

Speaker: ah Here's a Pat fact for you. pat fact No, I didn't know what X Factor was. three basically confused it with yeah Three days ago. i frequently confuse it with x force and i general know what x force is i know where that comes from ah that's already been spoiled for me i won't spoil it for you ah x factorctor the fuck what the fuck is an x factor

Speaker: And now I know. Now I know and know what it is. And it is, for anybody that doesn't know, just as we're getting into this, it's the original five X-Men being the X-Men again. But they're not allowed to use the name.

Speaker: I think we'll we'll talk about this a lot more as it gets as it goes on. But I think this is also sort of the Marvel Universe reckoning with this idea of, like, what would the mutants do with Professor X-Gon?

Speaker: What happens now that Professor X is out of the picture? He's off in space healing from ah whatever disease. what what's What's going on in his head?

Speaker: ah he got beat up The healer did a really bad job fixing him disease. That's right. now he's in space healing from that. And so then it's like, what does what does everybody else do? And this is, I think, part one of that question.

Speaker: And over the next couple years. We're going to really, really get into that. but Yeah, yeah. But part one is if the professor was gone and Gene came back and the defenders broke up. Because i see here's another thing. Bobby, Hank, and Warren were all in the defenders, right?

Speaker: in defenders the new defenders 152 all the defenders die except for bobby hank and warren there's like a big thing they all turn to so like statues of salt or something and then crumble and those boys are like we should get out of here we gotta yeah find something else to do ah ah so So then what what do they do? how do they How do other people realize Professor X's dream without Professor X there? And how do their individual personalities influence that dream without Professor X to say, like, oh, hold on.

Speaker: Wait, that sucks. Let me give you some guidance here. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, i I can see that. There's definitely, ah a i mean, the mutant metaphor is building.

Speaker: building and yeah It has been in Claremont's comics too, but slowly. And this is kind of, I would say inelegant is the, it's pummeling you in the fucking face every moment.

Speaker: All right. Do you have anything else to say say about any other X factor background to chuck at us before I'm literally holding the piano player's hands.

Speaker: over the keys. He's like fighting me. He always does. Let him go.

Speaker: The music's in him. He's just got to let it out, you know? Yeah. We'll, we'll figure out what to do about that. if Tie his hands back up though, please, before he starts playing Yeah. i Hey, stop it. All right. Hold on. I said. yeah All right. I got him. I got him. I got him.

Speaker: Make it a tight knot. Stop. All right. Yeah. No, it's tight. It's tight. It's tight. It's tight. It's tight. Okay. Okay. He did that with his face. Folks, it's time for Pat's email corner. We have a fat stack, Matt, as usual.

Speaker: So let's get right into it. Our first emailer, the first response we got from our Secret Wars 2 episode, episode 70, is Sweet Douglas. Sweet Douglas says, Hey, Pat, tell Matt that the true Secret War in that awful string of comics was everyone hating Dim Losers' desecration of their characters and series. Right before the episode aired, I forced myself to read the last two issues so I could officially be done with it, as I had originally tapped out by number eight.

Speaker: Whoa, you got all the way to number eight. That's impressive. Yeah, without being without having to do it on a deadline. ah I can't fully articulate my feelings about how lazily they dragged so many comics out of such a nothing story. Like you guys said, it could have been done in four issues like most of the miniseries so far. There was no need for over half of the actual issues, let alone infecting the other series with his actions in their own issues. We barely talked about it, but...

Speaker: It's over 30 issues when you include the tie-ins. Yeah, like you include the crossovers. Yeah, unbelievable. It's unreal. Like, so little story in those nine issues that we had to read, that spread out over 30 issues, 30-plus issues comics. They're just a guy, this fucking shows up, and is like, I don't understand anything. then disappears. And I'm going to, maybe I'll kill you to see if that's fun.

Speaker: No, it wasn't fun. I brought you back. Like, that's the whole fucking thing. I solved your problem. Goodbye. damn. Nine months.

Speaker: But hey, Sweet Douglas closes out here. We made it. It took killing a baby, but the secret wars have stopped again. The only good thing I got from either secret war was being introduced to Molecule Man. he's a real good boy.

Speaker: We do love that guy. Thank you, Sweet Douglas. Thanks, sweet Douglas. Up next, Ink Master. Ink Master. Ink Master says, hey, Pat, tell Matt that I've only ever heard the phrase as it'll all come out in the wash. Never. It'll all wash wash out in the laundry, as Pat said.

Speaker: Not to say that how Pat said it is wrong or doesn't make sense, but I don't think it's as common a version of the phrase. It's not a version of it. It'll all wash out in the laundry. Ink Master, what the fuck are you talking about?

Speaker: Yeah, who would say that? Especially on recording? He's clearly gone mad.

Speaker: We don't need to discuss it. Up next, Vio da Gama. Although, well, let's get to the end of this email. Yeah. This one's subject line is Scott and Maddie and also Tony Stark's cock. Oh my God.

Speaker: Is this an eat shoots and leaves things like this? scott Scott's cock, Maddie's cock and Tony Stark's cock. Or is it somebody named Tony Starking a cock? Or is it Scott and Maddie and Tony Stark's joint cock?

Speaker: Ooh, let's find out. First off, you guys were talking a lot about Scott and Maddie adventure as a miniseries. And I was reminded of the very recent what if issue of Scott stayed. What if Scott stayed with Madeline prior? I can't really go into what happens without spoiling listeners on why that's a what if, but it's incredibly dumb and ends in everyone on earth dying and the watcher going, well, that's why it had to happen. That's ridiculous. That is the ending to so many what if stories. Yeah.

Speaker: Everyone dies except for the Watcher being like, lesson learned. Justifying like a bad choice and being like, you guys all hated this. That's Watcher voice. Here's what would have happened if he had if if the the bad writer hadn't made the bad choice. Yeah, yeah. And then it's like, the whole world explodes.

Speaker: Do you like my Watcher voice, by the way? Let me hear it again. I am Watu the Watcher. I'm forbidden to interfere. Secondly, veo goes on in reference to your question about Tony Stark's penis. We didn't. I'm sure that we didn't ask about Tony Stark's penis. But I will say what we did talk about was superhero dick size in general. Yeah. That includes Tony Stark.

Speaker: We were saying not every superhero can i have a huge dick. Like, yeah. Even if most of them do, there's got to be some there that are average or even below average. They want us to believe every superhero has a huge cock. They're packing heat.

Speaker: There's no way. Because if everyone is a big cock, then there's no at there's no such thing as average. Yeah, if it was because at that point, a big cock is just a superhero superpower. Anyway, let's find out about Tony Stark's penis. He is, please got as Vio says, a tech bro who spends most of his time inside a metal suit that's most likely emitting some low level radiation directly into his nutsack. I'm saying that thing maybe has some fancy pills to get it presentable for the lucky lady du jour, but I seriously doubt it's impressive and not girthy at all.

Speaker: Howard Stark, I imagine, had a big, scary 1950s dad dick, though. All right. I believe it. I mean, i don't think your penis is going to shrink by being jammed inside a ah suit.

Speaker: Now, fertility could yeah absolutely be affected there. Oh, my God. There's no way Tony Stark's going to have a baby. and And if you imagine in in current continuity, don't tell me.

Speaker: Mutantmenacepod at gmail.com. Do not tell us if Tony Stark has a baby. try Try not to tell us if Tony Stark has a baby challenge. i Okay. Vio does include a PS here. PS, your nickname for me is a play on Vasco da Gama. And the fact that I do the Marvel TTRPGs. After some thought, A, he's Portuguese and I'm Italian, you racists. And B, upon further viewing of his wiki page, he burned 400 people to death for being Muslim. May I kindly petition a different nickname, pretty please. We have to talk about this, Pat.

Speaker: As his daughter, you are not responsible for his actions, i think is the primary thing I want to get across, just in case you're worried about that. But... Can somebody petition for a new nickname is a question that I don't know that we have an answer to quite yet. And does genocide preclude that rule? Genocide precludes a lot of things.

Speaker: When we gave you the nickname, we knew who Vasco da Gama was. We just thought the sound alike was funny. Yeah. No, he I mean, there's no historical figure we could name you after. That's not problematic. all them burned 400 people to death. but Most of them did. Okay. Let's see let's turn this one over. yeah we'll turn it over in our heads. We'll talk about it privately. And, you know, we could always fall back on Vio de Gama. Up next...

Speaker: Thank you, Vio. We have Mikey Two Mails. Mikey Two Mails, I have a question for you. Can you hear all the fucking fireworks behind me? I can't. There's a lot of fireworks, and some of them are getting real loud. They're going like... You can't hear that? Hang hang hang on. Let me listen.

Speaker: let me listen po buop-ooo paba pa ba ba thou Oh, I can hear him. Episode 70 X-Men related email from Mikey to mail says, Hey, Pat, tell Matt that secret was two was so shitty that I am learning necromancer to bring shit shitter back from the dead so I can force him to listen to the episode before I drop him off the edge of the Grand Canyon for his crimes and making that stupid fucking comic.

Speaker: Folks. All in good fun, but we cannot advocate necromancy on this podcast. It really is like against our code of ethics.

Speaker: Also, we would be, we are legally culpable if somebody brings somebody back from the dead and then kills them again. Do you ever, when you're really criticizing something that made you so mad, do you ever get that feeling? Like, I really wish this fucking person could hear this. I am i am nailing them to the wall right now, and I really wish they could hear it and had to answer for it. I don't know if they're dead. It's like, what's the point?

Speaker: It's like the ah the legal problem that that your lawyer helped us with a couple of weeks ago. We also have, of course, a ah non X-Men related email from Mikey Two Mails. He says, hey, Pat, tell Matt, I know he's never mentioned this on air, but I think golf isn't really a sport and it's a giant waste of time, land and water for something that adds nothing to the earth. I stand on the soapbox chugging Haterade and blowing air horns loudly because I do not respect golf at all.

Speaker: Mikey Two Mails. Yeah, I why hang on. Everybody slow down. a Golf is, yes, a giant waste of time, land and water.

Speaker: It is boring. It's useless. But to say it's not really a sport, I think, is objectively wrong. Okay, I see. I see what you're saying. It is a sport.

Speaker: I am so... i I don't golf, but I've gone to the driving range before and like you're part of the problem. The people driving next to me have had to move down a few rows because my drives like just shoot wildly off to the side. ah Oh my God. This happened to me one time. I went to the casino and I sat at the blackjack table and everybody got up and left after like three hands because they were like, we can't risk, so we can't risk being at this table with somebody who doesn't know what they're doing.

Speaker: it's Like me and Marvel rivals. ah We have so many examples of this. Curious. Yeah.

Speaker: well I think lawns in general are a waste of land and water. um i think oh my god Americans sort of invented lawns by importing grass from all over the world into U.S. where it doesn't, you know,

Speaker: Where it thrives, but it does not help the local ecosystem at all. And it's it's basically like if you have a if you have a ah lawn of kentucky Kentucky bluegrass or whatever in New England, it's the same as laying down a slab of cement.

Speaker: in your in your but in front of your house environmentally. um yeah Cement that you have to waste tons of fucking water on every week. That's the thing is like grass doesn't work without more water than we get naturally here.

Speaker: i i give I can get up on a soapbox about this. Because grass isn't natural here. Like there are natural grasses. And like there were, yeah, the little kind of... reed-like grasses that grow around here. The little wildflowers. In certain areas of the U.S., there's there's there's grasses that are a little bit more like our lawn grasses, but even those, yeah, it's...

Speaker: It's absurd. at that I read a book on this not that long ago and it made me so the intro made me so fucking mad. I had to put the book down for like a month because I was so mad at lawns.

Speaker: Thank you, Mikey two males. You're absolutely right. Except for that one small detail that we all agree you were wrong on. Finally, one more email to get. Oh, no. And it is from the aforementioned email. Michael. Email Michael.

Speaker: Episode 70 responses. Hey, Pat. Could you please tell Matt that while i don't normally like to reply to prompts given during Pat's email corner, since the subject of the hulks and Bruce Banner's penises has come up twice now, I figure it's worth saying this much at least.

Speaker: This is the new this is the new ah milk and Pepsi. So, yeah, this is this is the podcast we are now. We were a weird food podcast for a little while and now we're a a penis podcast.

Speaker: A really important question isn't necessarily how big Bruce Banner's penis is, but rather whether or not it enlarges along with the rest of his body when he becomes Hulk. I agree. That's sort of where we narrowed it down to. Yes. On the one hand, if it's only Hulk's bones and muscles that are growing, then the penis is neither a bone nor can it be enlarged via muscle training and he has regular human sized penis. Mm hmm.

Speaker: It's one of the tragedies of bodybuilders who are self-conscious about their penis size. One explanation for why Hulk is green is that it's due to the rapid expansion and stretching of his skin, suggesting that his skin and blood vessels aren't really growing as much as they're being forcefully stretched because his bones and muscles grow.

Speaker: Whoa. Okay. On the other hand, Hulk's eyes and ears and so okay also grow when he transforms from Bruce Banner. So you could argue that it isn't only his muscles and bones that become larger, which ruins the green skin explanation, but I never took that seriously anyway.

Speaker: If that's the case, it's safe to assume that Hulk's penis is roughly the same size in proportion to the rest of him as Bruce Bams. But it's all stretched out like a big fucking and like a fucking teepee.

Speaker: The base gets all stretched out because his pelvis expands, but the penis doesn't expand. So the tip is still the same size. It's like a it's like a cone.

Speaker: I hate to say it, but the most plausible answer is that they're both totally average size for guys their height. Otherwise, somebody would have commented on it. Let me repeat for emphasis. I hated saying that. Please don't ask me to write about superhero penises again.

Speaker: Second, and much more importantly, the question came up about whether or not you could stop Juggernaut's literally unstoppable momentum, or at least redirect it by grabbing his ankle. The answer is obviously yes, because as you pointed out, Thing did it.

Speaker: All right. Okay. you may You might not like it, but he did it. That means it could be done, and at least in that issue. It's like how you kept saying characters like Magneto were acting wrong or would never do something, but you were saying that after you'd just seen them do it. Just because you don't think it should be that way doesn't mean it isn't that way.

Speaker: Secret Wars 2 is not some hypothetical what-if story. That stuff's canon. Thing grabbed Juggernaut's ankle and stopped him, whether it makes sense with what we know about Juggernaut's powers or not, period. I know it sucks. Sometimes comics suck.

Speaker: We all just gotta accept it. Okay. Sorry, email Michael. So, you're... Yes. I love the way you phrase that.

Speaker: And you're right and a little bit wrong here. Right. You have to. OK. When you are looking at comics critically, you have to do two things. You have to accept it as a canon. Right. You have to yeah accept that this is an ongoing story and everything that happens and then happens in it. Right. But you have to do that reasonably. Right.

Speaker: because it is being written by a ton of different people. It's the same as when people read the Bible, right? Where the word canon comes from. And they're like, okay, this story is metaphorical while this one is literal. And okay yes, Genesis has two incredibly different stories for how the world was formed, back to back and a little bit interwoven in like in and one part And that doesn't make sense But it's fine because two different people wrote it and they just had different interpretations of what happened. So you have to do that. like So even in the most sacred of religious texts –

Speaker: people read them and pick and choose what is artistic license and what is canonical and like quote unquote factual, right? That's what we do. And I think our job And maybe yeah maybe it's just a ah phrasing matter, because you're absolutely right. We're not trying to pretend things in Secret Wars 2 that happened didn't happen. and this is all canon. And you can you can interpret it literally if you want. I guess when we say things like that, what we're saying is, why? How the fuck did the thing stop the Juggernaut's unstoppable momentum?

Speaker: Why did that happen? Why is Magneto acting so weird? Did he have a bad morning? That and sort of like. did So, yes, of course, this is all canon. Of course, it sucks. We all agree on that.

Speaker: But we're still going to ask the question. And I guess if we're asking the question, we're demanding answers. And if we're demanding answers, the answer is sometimes comic sucks. Right. But we are asking those questions, and but we're not asking them for no reason, right? like it's If you don't ask those questions, then you're not engaging with the text.

Speaker: Literally. If we are looking at Magneto and who he is and how he developed, we are not honestly engaging with Chris Claremont's Magneto if we accept uncritically Jim Stupid's Magneto.

Speaker: Yeah, but I think what email Michael is saying is it's it's neither of their Magneto. It's just Magneto. And so no matter who's writing him, he did it like we're we are about to deal with this in right now. Fifteen minutes. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, I agree. That just that sucks as an answer. Nobody in a podcast wants to hear us just say, Pat, i have I have so much more to say about that. Like, all right, give me a like give me about 20 more minutes and I- Oh no, he's loose.

Speaker: Man, hold on, I gotta get him. He's playing, he's kicking me back. I can't control him. He's got a henchman. He's got a henchman who's holding me down.

Speaker: Get him, man, get him. Now I'm being held down. I'm tied. Hold on, I gotta break out of my- hang on a second. I'll be right over.

Speaker: Hey, Pat. Hey, all right. Thank you. Thanks for getting him under control. Thank God we got that baby grand piano or else he'd be just picking it up and taking it with him.

Speaker: Is he dead? No, I'm sure he's not. Pat. It was a non-lethal strike. What's up? I gotta ask. Yeah. Do you do anything anything's been related to this week?

Speaker: I'll tell you, Matt. Matt. I did some cat sitting this week. A friend oh is yeah out of town. And so I went over to their house. They have sort of a strange system. They have somebody else feeding it in the morning, somebody taking care of it in the evening. My job is to go over there during the day and just make sure they have some company.

Speaker: So it's a pretty sweet gig. do they pay What do they pay you? $700 a day? Oh, no, it's for a friend. I'm not... I'm not getting paid for this. So please patreon.com slash mutant menace.

Speaker: Support Pat's cat habits. But yeah, Matt, you and i gave a speech at this man's wedding and compared him to Nightcrawler. And also he was a guest on the podcast, Quentin Alexander. Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah. So that's why it's X-Men related. That's pretty X-Men related. Yeah. Matt, did you do anything X-Men related this week? No, but got a rant about something.

Speaker: Okay. Yeah, yeah. That's what this space is for. hi So we're recording this in the midst of the lettuce crisis. Cyclospora is still running rampant, and there are you can't buy iceberg lettuce and cilantro and a couple other things, especially prepackaged, because there is a bacterium that failed to be controlled by the...

Speaker: currently terrible FDA. and And people are getting what the news has been reporting. Not me. I don't like this term. I don't like this word. I don't like saying it. But the news has been reporting as, quote, explosive diarrhea.

Speaker: So I have to... buy romaine lettuce every week because I have a guinea pig and guinea pig needs romaine lettuce every day yeah for survival.

Speaker: I guess there are so there are some things you can sub it out for, but romaine lettuce has not been hit by the cyclospora outbreak. So it's been largely safe, but because I have to buy so many, I do have to buy those like pre-packaged three heads of romaine lettuce in one sure plastic package, right?

Speaker: and I have obviously not run into Cyclospora, but it seems as if. How is that obvious? Because my butt isn't exploding.

Speaker: Would I know that? Yeah, you'd know that. Would the listeners know that? The listeners wouldn't know that, but you'd know that, and you'd be telling them, because I would be... I'm not going to record about the That's true. would call you out as a liar. I'm not going to record a podcast about the X-Men while my butt is exploding. We're going to have a pinch hitter.

Speaker: And we don't edit, so... So... We couldn't take breaks for it. So... I haven't got hit by cyclospora, but three packages of two different brands of romaine lettuce in a row have had this like weird rot That's happened on like day four or day five of me having the lettuce at home. Like I'll go grab the second head. I'll get through the first head of lettuce and I'll grab the second head of lettuce and there'll just be this like rot in the center and I'll have to cut off half of the lettuce.

Speaker: And this keeps happening. And what I think is happening is that people are like, oh fuck, Taylor Farms. but There's actually no evidence that it's Taylor Farms. That's just like the current scapegoat. But people have been like, if Taylor Farms is fucking getting away with this,

Speaker: Then we can get away with whatever. Why don't we cut? This is just, this is all in my imagination, right? But yeah why don't we cut half of our quality control staff to save ourselves some money? Because no one fucking is looking at this shit.

Speaker: The FDA is run by a goddamn insane madman who doesn't give a shit about anything. This guy loves parasites. This guy loves parasites. He's got three of them.

Speaker: He puts them in his body every day. Swims and he drinks unfiltered water from random muddy lakes. This guy. Did you see that video where he just caught a bird with his bare hands?

Speaker: Jesus. That's disgusting. This guy loves getting infected with parasites. We don't have to do any extra work. So. We can't have this!

Speaker: We can't have it that until Jr. fucking, yeah I don't know, whatever, dies or whatever, or... Until there's like a ah reverse doge that somebody convinces Donald Trump like, hey, what if we do the gri the most hiring for federal agencies that anybody's ever done on a single day?

Speaker: And he's like, oh, yeah, that's a really good idea. That'd be that'd put me in the news until somebody does that to him. And we get fully staffed federal agencies again or RFK Jr. fucking dies.

Speaker: We were just going to keep getting explosive diarrhea. Yeah, is this just gonna happen to all produce for the next five, even if three to five years?

Speaker: Because even if somebody else comes into power, kicks ah RFK dumbass out, they still have to restaff and retrain, because these people aren't rejoining. Yeah, there's much damage to undo.

Speaker: Yeah, these people aren't, all the experts who have been at these federal agencies for 10 to 30 years aren't just rejoining after this has happened to them.

Speaker: They were getting under every... This is the thing about agency... They've not gotten any jobs. This is the thing about federal agency workers. They have been being underpaid for their entire careers, and they know that. And the reason they did it is because... The reason most of them were doing it is because of a belief in public service. It's civil service. Yeah, yeah. And when you shatter that, like fucking Doge did, these people are like, could be making...

Speaker: 1.5 times 1.5 to 10 times depending on the industry the amount of money I'm making at my current job and fuck the government for what they just did to me and so these people aren't coming back so if we restaff these fucking agencies it's gonna be with brand new people who have to learn the jobs yeah so is this the next 10 years of our lives is we're just gonna have to throw away half of our lettuce and get explosive diarrhea could be yeah Pat, do you want to read me Avengers number 263? Yes, Matt. Avengers number 263. What works? What lurks below Roger Stern, writer John Buscema breakdowns, Tom Palmer, finisher, Jim Novak, letterer, Chris Dushiel, colorist, Mark Gruenwald, editor and explosive diarrhea editor in chief.

Speaker: Release date October 8th, 1985. Cover date January 1986. After some supervillains crash their plane off the runway of JFK Airport into into Jamaica Bay, the Avengers investigate a strange burst of energy that erupted from the crash.

Speaker: They find the source of the energy, a strange capsule, which resists their approach and sends telepathic messages demanding they stay away. After the wasp soothes the entity, they managed to extract it back to Avengers Mansion for one second.

Speaker: Unbeknownst to them, we see the capsule go translucent and inside lies a fully alive and intact Jean Grey.

Speaker: Jean Grey's alive. Short recap, because this is all that happens. It's just all of them diving into Jamaica Bay, looking at this strange. It looks like a like a giant pill, like a giant big pill. Yeah.

Speaker: And just going like, huh. This is weird. let me Let me get Hercules down here. And he comes down and is huh.

Speaker: Let me get the wasp down here. goes, huh.

Speaker: There is a point where they're all in like scuba suits so they can just hang out underwater. And they're all just in their regular costumes, but with like a ah glass dome yeah around their head.

Speaker: Why don't just do that? Why don't we do that for people? So Avengers number How did the Avengers get so far ahead of the X-Men? X-Men are on two. ah They started the same week.

Speaker: X-Men and same day, right? X-Men are on two. Oh, one. At this point, Avengers are on two. Sixty three. X-Men were bi-monthly for a long time, right? And I don't know.

Speaker: ah We had never actually did the math to figure out exactly how many issues came out per year when they were canceled. Like how many reprints per year. But they were also figuring twice monthly at one point, right?

Speaker: hum Or maybe that's coming up. Maybe that's maybe that happens later. i don't know, man. There might be bonus Avengers. This is a mystery. Maybe we can get to the bottom of this. But yeah, you're right. This is they did start the same at the same time.

Speaker: Here's something that's funny to me as I was reading this Avengers issue is. ah Hercules. Yeah, this costume is just underpants and a harness suspenders. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Namor. His costume is just underpants. Yep. So there's a moment where they were introducing Namor to the Avengers mansion.

Speaker: And Namor and Hercules are just walking like everyone else is wearing clothes and costumes. And Namor and Hercules walking around mostly nude together. They just walk around naked everywhere. And everybody, they're like in government buildings. Mm-hmm. While they're talking to like the president and there's everybody's in full fully clothed and there's just two naked men standing there.

Speaker: Incredible. Yeah. I love i i will love the human form that you know this about me listeners know this about me. So yeah, I think you what you at least have is two very contrasting forms. You have Namor who's like got a sleek swimmer's body and Hercules who has the the big old big man body. Yeah, it's just two different types of absurdly muscular.

Speaker: Running around nude. this but I think it's beautiful. I love seeing people nude. You know who's you know who is the opposite of nude? Who? The fucking Black Knight.

Speaker: That guy. He's wearing so many clothes. He's wearing so much. And it's clear that they needed to replace Iron Man in the Avengers. It's clear now that that's why they ah electrified black knight right right that he's he's like he's got an electro sword and he's got a um cybernetic armor and he's always yeah this is the whole point because this cracked me up he's got an atomic steed he's got he's just got like a weird flying scooter and he calls it his horse

Speaker: bro, just stop being a knight, man. at this point. Just be Iron Man 2. I don't need electronics, yeah. Alright, Pat, do you want me to tell you about Fantastic Whatever you're about to say, yes.

Speaker: About my penis. Alright, let's go. This is what I signed up for. Fantastic Four number 286. Like a phoenix! A little on the fucking nose, bro. Ha ha ha.

Speaker: It says, you know who is writer and penciler. It's John Byrne. Of course. Yeah, yeah. Terry Austin, guest inker. Glynis Oliver, colorist. John Workman, letterer. And I fucking hate these letters. It's a real workman.

Speaker: I really hate. That's a fake name, right? John Workman. I really hate the lettering in this issue. I just need to say that up top. Because we're not going to get another chance. It's not like it it it really affects anything else that we're talking about. So just say, like, I hated reading this because I hated the letter. Well, because the writing isn't great, but also I hated the lettering.

Speaker: It doesn't affect the plot in any way, though. yeah Yeah, no, none of the characters are like, isn't the way I'm talking stupid and looking? Michael Carlin is the editor and ah John Marshall, 1755 to 1835 is the editor in chief. I think I missed a few.

Speaker: What is this bit? it was With special thanks to Roger Stern and ki Kurt Busiek. Release date, October 15th, 1985. Cover date, January 1986. If anyone knows what the bit is, you can tell, you can email Pat.

Speaker: mutminus podgma dot com But like, just give him clues. Don't tell him straight out. The FF are finally returning to Earth. I don't know. what would Pat, why were they off Earth?

Speaker: I don't know, Matt. I'm not following the Fantastic Four. But the jerks at air traffic control won't let them land at JFK Airport. The Avengers are cleaning up the mess from Avengers 263. So the FF divert to LaGuardia instead take a cab to meet up with the Avengers back at the mansion. They're just like, oh, something's happening. We have to be involved.

Speaker: There's there's some. vs First of all, they take a cab to the Avengers mansion and the cabbies like, oh, I insist you save the world 100 times. Don't pay. And Reed's like, no, i I'm trying to pay. i want to pay you for your services. He has more money than he can imagine.

Speaker: He's just trying to throw it away. And he doesn't like accepting gifts from people like this. yeah And everyone has to be like, Reed, he's not going to take your money. We have to get into the mansion. No, take my money. him yeah It's like the world is ending around this.

Speaker: um There's another thing. is so John Byrne. They're flying back to Earth talking ah about... They're just like shooting the shit. It's like a catch-up. These are 36-page issues as opposed to the normal 22, 24. So there's a lot of space to fill. I think i even think X-Factor... One is 48 pages, right? Yeah, yeah. We've got a lot of pages talk about today. thick comics. But one of the conversations they're having is about their fan magazine Back on Earth, which makes up stories about them and and tells those stories. They're talking about Fantastic Four comics and complaining about the editorial notes they're getting in Fantastic Four comics.

Speaker: Right. One of the things that clearly John Byrne was told because Johnny Storm himself says it is cosmic doesn't sell. Right. As they're coming back from space. see so yeah and So maybe John Byrne, it didn't sell not because people aren't buying it, but because you kind of suck as a writer.

Speaker: um Also, he opens it with a quote. like He's trying so hard to be artsy. And he opens it with a quote, Every parting gives a foretaste of death. Every coming together, again, foretaste of the resurrection by Schopenhauer.

Speaker: What does that have to do with fucking anything besides the word resurrection? You're just such an idiot. You're such a pseudo intellectual. You were just flipping through books that were on your shelf that you've never read because you can't understand them. Looking for the word resurrection. And the first time you found it, you were like, there we go.

Speaker: vi The Avengers explain that they found a weird container at the bottom of Jamaica Bay and they all investigate it together. Inside, they find the body of a mysterious red-headed woman somehow still alive.

Speaker: so The Avengers, at the end of the Avengers issue, the narrator's just like, it's Jean Grey. And then at the start of this issue, they have to be like, who is this redheaded woman we're seeing? But they fucking know who she's met.

Speaker: She saved Captain America from the Enclave. Yes, that's true. And she's met the Fantastic Four. i don't remember when or why. Has she met the Fantastic Four and their memories have been retained?

Speaker: Because I remember meeting Johnny Storm, but his memory was wiped after the incident. Well, they met the Fantastic Four in Fantastic Four number 36. Like Jean Grey in Fantastic Four number 28.

Speaker: And Jean Grey was in Fantastic Four number 36 and Fantastic Four annual number three. So she's definitely met the Fantastic Four before. okay But I can't say for sure that Professor X didn't wipe their memories every single time. Right. He loves doing that. Especially back then. um Let me just complain what and while we're paused here. Yes, please. Let me complain some more. What are we here for?

Speaker: John Byrne is so fucking wordy. a there's ah There's a scene where the capsule like explodes in a ah burst of energy and Reed Richards is thrown back and Sue Storm catches him on like a pillow of...

Speaker: Invisible energy. Ooh, do you want to take Sue or Reed? Yeah, yeah. I'll take, uh, you take Sue, I'll take Reed. Okay. She says, easy, baby brother. I'm not about to let my husband get splattered. An invincible force field cushion should do the trick.

Speaker: Oof! Quit thinking, Sue, darling. That neural shockwave tensed every voluntary muscle in my body to rock-like rigidity. I had no way of using my elastic powers to save myself from injury.

Speaker: But read, what in the world is that thing? That's two panels. You didn't need that. You didn't need one. the only word you needed there maybe was oomph.

Speaker: Everything else you could see in the panel. Ridiculous. They investigate through the night until suddenly everyone in the lab is lifted into the air and the weird container starts to crack like an egg.

Speaker: It looks like an egg. It looks like it was a picture, an egg shaped like a coffin. The woman emerges crazed, assuming she's the prisoner of, quote, Lang. And the Avengers and FF are robot facsimiles he made, just like we did with the X-Men.

Speaker: Remember that? remember Oh, yeah. It's gene gray it's Jean Jean Grey is it's another it's another moment where the narrator is just like it's Jean Grey.

Speaker: We all want to tell us so bad. After some convincing, she puts everyone down and tries to recall what happened. she recounts the ex She recounts the experience from Stephen Lang's old S.H.I.E.L.D. Space Base all the way back in Mutant Menace 19.

Speaker: Remember that? But just can't seem to recall what happened after that. She suggests they take her to the X-Men and have x Xavier scan her brain.

Speaker: But she's shocked to learn that Xavier is gone. And the X-Men are now led by the villain Magneto. oh everybody's like, you don't want to go back to the X-Men. They're actually...

Speaker: kind of bad guys now they're the bad guy there's actually evil now they've joined with magneto do you remember that guy and she's like they must be villains now it's so strange yeah i mean i guess now is where we learn everybody considers the x-men outlaws at this point yeah okay okay um I love when Hercules says zounds.

Speaker: Zounds! Zounds! And Sue Storm knocks Jean Grey out to get everybody to drop. like to get her to drop everyone from the sky. And it's just like a big, like, invisible pillar smacking her in the face and knocking her back. And that that John Byrne, that thing John Byrne loves to do where somebody gets hit in the face and they're knocked over like their back bends backwards.

Speaker: Yes. He does it all the time. And it goes, bop! Bop! and So instead of taking her to the X-Men, they head to Jean's parents' house where they find the holo-empathic crystal containing her essence. Look.

Speaker: Wait a second. I... i this was This is something that can get really hard with this podcast is what order do we read shit in?

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. And it's like, did we want to learn? There's a couple things in 201, X-Men 201, that we would have liked to know before we read X-Factor. But...

Speaker: If we read like 201 through 205, we're going to want to have read Axe Factor first. Yeah, yeah. So minor spoiler. Hollow Empathic Crystal is Hollow Empathic Crystal is restored somehow in X-Men 201. Though there is still a continuity error here, which we'll talk about, i guess, next episode. Okay.

Speaker: She grasps it and memories start flooding back in. Overwhelmed, she psychically projects the memory to everyone in the room. On the rickety spaceship ride home from the Lang debacle, Jean, as we you know, was willing to sacrifice herself to telekinetically keep the ship shipped together and pilot at home. In the heat of the moment, she called out to the universe for help, and the universe answered.

Speaker: a being of pure light, shaped just like Jean, appeared to her and offered to save her team, replacing her entirely and apparently placing her in the weird egg to heal her wounds.

Speaker: So Phoenix is just like ah ah ah its own entity. It took on Jean's personality and took her memories and took her form. And the entire time that we were watching the Dark Phoenix...

Speaker: It was actually... From the moment she started calling herself Phoenix, it was no longer Jean Grey. And the entire time, the actual Jean Grey was on the floor of Jamaica Bay in a little egg.

Speaker: an egg. Yes. Captain America runs in at that moment, having spent all night listening through Hank McCoy's recounting of the Dark Phoenix saga and retells the story to the gang. Everyone comes to the conclusion that the Phoenix Force is actually a sentient being of pure evil.

Speaker: That replaced Jean, but took on some of her personality to keep it a secret. The goodness in Jean was powerful enough to override the evil of the Phoenix Force to the point that the Phoenix eventually realized it needed to kill itself.

Speaker: Jean, as all this is happening, as they like take her to a parent's house, Jean is still in the torn dress. The dress that Wolverine tore upon the shield... asteroid base that steven lang took over yeah yeah give her some fucking clothes yeah christ after everyone settles down reed decides they should get in touch with someone that gene knows to be continue doesn't tell us who but he's like i think i know somebody that knows gene We have a moment of the Taka Taka Taka Cosmic Ray bombardment. And they talk about it. They're like, Cosmic Ray bombardment? Just like the one that gave us our powers.

Speaker: Yes. So yeah they're not abandoning it, even though it doesn't make sense anymore in this. Unless it's the Phoenix. and Unless it's the Phoenix that gave the Fantastic Four their powers. Interesting. Interesting. We should write the next Fantastic Four series.

Speaker: That would be... a ah yeah actually you cut that don't let anyone know they'll steal my idea no one can know it's our idea we also in that flashback we get Peter Corbeau Peter Corbeau who I'm coming to understand was I know me too but I think he is a John Byrne favorite because have we seen him since John Byrne left ah Very briefly, like very briefly and rarely. Let's see, when did we last see him? and oh my God.

Speaker: Yeah, we haven't seen him since Uncanny X-Men 158. Hot damn. And besides classic X-Men, he's like gone until the nineteen ninety s Whatever happened to Peter Corbeau? I miss Peter Corbeau.

Speaker: Also, one one last note from me here. He's running, he's jumping fences nude all over town. He's just running through Westchester. Naked and jumping fences in the rain. One more note from me here. the Fantastic Four are just coming off of their battle with the Psycho Man.

Speaker: that' who That's who they were facing in Secret Wars 2. We were calling him Heatmonger, but he's actually the Psycho Man. The Psycho Man, i think either the Hatemonger was a henchman of the Psycho Man or vice versa.

Speaker: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hatemonger and Psycho Man. The two two's smartest names. Well, this is a guy who named a character Deadly Earnest.

Speaker: That's true. And then another character, Gilded Lily. And then a character called Pink Pearl. Like, this guy, he sucks it. Was Pink Pearl supposed to be a clitoris reference, by the way? I didn't realize that until just now.

Speaker: Well, not you, but like... John It's kind gross, John Byrne. John Byrne doesn't know what a clitoris is. Yeah. He's... thinking of something else feel free to send that to him john burn doesn't know what the clitoris is the sincerely mut is non all right matt before we riff too much on that how would you like for me to tell you about the titular x factor number one

Speaker: Third Genesis. Yes. I'm going to I'm going to tell you about it. i'm This title's a little much. Yeah, it's a little bit. Second Genesis is, of course, the title of the a story from giant size X-Men number one.

Speaker: but they thought they were doing something real big with this and they just weren't. Yeah, this is not worthy of. Anyway, Bob Layton, writer, Jackson Guichie, penciler, Bob Layton, Jackson Guichie and Joseph Rubenstein anchors, Petra Scotesi, Max Scheel and Glynis Oliver, colorists, Mike Carlin and Michael Higgins, editors and Big Bottom, editor in chief. So they, while we're still on the creative team, I just got to say they were under so much pressure making this issue that they just like, they had all these rewrites and all these redraws from Jim stupid.

Speaker: um Right. hack And also trying to keep things from Chris Claremont at the same time. I guess so. Yeah. I didn't think about that, but you're right. And then, so they drew seven covers of,

Speaker: For this issue. And all of them were rejected. Which is why Walt Simonson. Drew the cover to this issue. they attempt he just He just came in to like. Pinch hit right?

Speaker: Right. they Okay so at the time. So weeks. two Apparently two weeks. Before this issue. Shipped. um Fucking Jim Stupid. Sent the entire thing back.

Speaker: To Bob Layton and Jackson Geis. And told them they had to redo the entire comic book from scratch. Ugh. What a dick. It was during Hurricane Gloria in 1985. September 1985. And so the two had to just hide in a hotel room. While a hurricane raged outside. for for like...

Speaker: Days. Redoing this entire comic book. Jesus. So pay attention to some of the staff changes on this book. For example, yeah in this one,

Speaker: The editor is Michael Carlin. Let's see if that holds up for very long. Let's see how that goes. Release date, November 12th, 1985. Cover date, February 1986. We begin by checking in with the former original X-Men. o Scott Summers is having some problems adjusting to the life of a husband and father, yearning for adventure and haunted by Jean Grey's death.

Speaker: Unfortunately, it's Madeline Pryor who suffers most from these depressive bouts, and it's been causing tension between them. Scott is apparently with his eyes, chopping wood day and night.

Speaker: And at some point, Madeline's like, we don't need this wood. We don't even have a fireplace. And he's like, this you want to talk about the psycho man. This is that's hiss like serial killer shit. This is psycho, man. This is crazy. He's also...

Speaker: He's not a great father. He is. He's like ignoring the kid. He's that kind of like, I won't change diapers, father. Yes. Yeah. I don't even know what to I don't even know how to cook dinner. I've never touched a baby bottle. I don't know. Well, I wouldn't know what to do with a diaper like that sort of really, really fragile masculinity shit.

Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I got i got wood to chop. Right, exactly. i'm i provide for this house in ways that, that yeah, it sucks. It's unclear where they're getting money from, too.

Speaker: But... ah Speaking of money, Warren Worthington, the third Hank McCoy and Bobby Drake are all recovering from the deaths of the new defenders with candy Southern in angels, New Mexico, airy. If I knew how that sentence would have gone was going to go, I wouldn't have read it so lightly.

Speaker: you see In the face of failure, they've decided that without a competent leader, their best option is to give up the superhero life. Iceman and the beast drive away to their new lives and civilian jobs just before angel gets a call.

Speaker: From Reed Richards. Whoa. Sorry. Yeah. Warren is the first person Reed would call about this. How do they even even know each other? Oh, I know one mutant. It's that winged guy from the Defenders.

Speaker: Interlude. In San Diego, a group of Navy sailors and their chief take some shore leave at a strip club. the The chief hires a sex worker for a nervous young sailor. Oh, she's a sex worker. She's a sex worker. Yeah. Okay. This makes this whole scene makes make more sense. You thought he was. He literally just said, hey, my friend, go fuck this guy.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. and I was like, does this work? it I don't date anymore. I don't know. ah The chief hires a sex worker for a nervous young sailor named Rusty.

Speaker: Rusty. When she tries to bone him in the alley, his nervousness reaches a fever point and suddenly flames start shooting from his body. She falls to the ground engulfed as Rusty runs away, screaming for help, flames cascading off of him.

Speaker: When we next see him, he's being taken into custody by a high security naval squad while his chief apoplectic screams anti mutant slurs at him. Jesus Christ. Yeah, is he is ready to kill him.

Speaker: well this This is why I thought yeah maybe it was like ah not a sex worker thing is because he was like, that was my girlfriend. Oh, yeah. yeah Of course he thinks that that that does actually make sense.

Speaker: Warren arrives in New York and is swiftly taken to Avengers Mansion to see his old friend Jean Grey, whom he had thought dead. He does this. ah he lands. Is it LaGuardia this time?

Speaker: There's so many mentions of LaGuardia and JFK in these comics that we're reading. I don't know. Maybe it's like all these guys are just like sitting around the Marvel bullpen. Just like, what do you think about this plane? And just showing each other pictures of cool planes.

Speaker: Until they were locked in, had a view of the airport. Ha ha ha ha! um There's some there's some there's some good just some quick stuff. First of all, Warren rips his clothes off like the moment the plane lands. Yeah, yeah. So that he can take his so that he can take his wings out.

Speaker: But he just is. Yeah, he's just like, got to get these clothes off. No time to lose. But why did why did he take a plane in the first place? He said it took four hours. We know he can fly across the country faster than that.

Speaker: Yeah, um and maybe he was just sleepy. Warren stays up all night pondering the consequences of calling Scott and telling him the news, but ultimately decides that he has to.

Speaker: In Alaska, Scott answers the call with disbelief. And despite Maddie's anger and hurt about being abandoned, he leaves for New York. God damn it. He neglects to tell her the real reason why.

Speaker: This when when Warren is thinking about it, it's that shows a clock that says 402 and then a clock that says nine. o' like He sits in the exact same position for five hours without. Okay, he's just going through every possible scenario of the conversation.

Speaker: Now, Matt, I know this makes you upset. And it does. Maddie, as he's walking out, is like, if you walk out that door, don't come back. Like, and yeah, it's at that point with her. And I know that you get upset about this, right? That you feel this is like a character assassination.

Speaker: This is the start, right? This is there will be a character assassination that comes. And this is step one. And I think this this first step is somewhat believable.

Speaker: Like, okay, yes, I could see him leaving. Somebody's like, Jean Grey is alive. I could see him being like, I have to go. I'm so sorry, I have to go. I can't see him leaving in this way, but i could i could he's much more sensitive than this. At least he has been with Maddie in the last few years. Yes. So when I say that these are these read like Silver Age comics, I think that a lot of that is supposed to be implied, right? There's not a lot of characterization to the characters here or like, I should say there's not a lot of driving characterization to them, right? It's just, they have consistent motivations. But

Speaker: they don't actually communicate about them. They don't say things or think things that that actually express it. But i I do believe that Scott, like, had the potential to be kind of deadbeat dad. That he, like, he went off to this life that he didn't know. He took a big risk. He all of a sudden found it to be miserable. He didn't want to be a father. he has a sense of responsibility, but not necessarily in this phase of his life.

Speaker: But he he went through like two or three adventures in the past two years is to establish that that part of his character has developed, that it has changed, that he has become, he has recognized the importance of this part of his life and that he will be paying more attention to it.

Speaker: So all of that is meaningless now? But every time he's talking about how hard it is for him and how much he misses the life of an X-Man, like it's it's always complicated for him. So I don't think that we're going to get that good of an explanation from Bob Layton. But I think that like this is a choice, right? This is this is like with a lot like what email – Michael was saying where the writers making a choice here we don't necessarily like that choice but I don't think it comes out of left field so i this is what happened I think what is deeply upsetting about this is not necessarily that he does it again it is and again the what is what makes me mad is on its way it is not this moment

Speaker: But the way that he does it is a problem. it is It is meant to show that he is doing this. Her crying in a panel all by herself is meant to show that he's doing this callously, without explanation, and completely...

Speaker: like Full disregard of Maddie's feelings. And I don't think after the adventures adventures that he went on recently, after the things that he said to Maddie, after the things he said to everybody, i don't think that is possible from him.

Speaker: I do. I think we're seeing a man in crisis. I think that introducing the child to the situation and the reality of having to be a father is what kind of broke him. But all he's ever wanted was... Okay, well, we can't get hung up on this forever.

Speaker: I don't think all he's ever wanted is to be a father, but I think all he's ever wanted is that kind of validation and responsibility... That being a father provides.

Speaker: That's fair. We'll have to keep reading. In a fancy hotel in New York, Angel is rented an entire floor for the privacy for the privacy of their reunion.

Speaker: Scott walks into the door to see his first love standing there alive. Jean Grey darts across the room, elated to see Scott again. But Scott is racked with sorrow and doubt.

Speaker: Gene doesn't know about Maddie or the baby. Warren interrupts the reunion to explain how this happened, recapping Reed Richards' explanation from Fantastic Four number 286. Remember that?

Speaker: oh yeah. Yeah. The Phoenix was a separate entity that replaced Gene after the spaceship crash, leaving a real body to heal in a cocoon for years below Jamaica Bay. The influence of Gene's stolen personality and memories overrode Phoenix in the end, leading to as sacrifice on the moon.

Speaker: ah Warren is telling the story to them and like he's telling it to Scott. Scott was there and Scott says as much. He says, Warren was like through the narration bubble. He says, Warren, why are you telling me this? I was there.

Speaker: boy so And he's so right. Right. like words's Like, so a few years ago, the X-Men went to space. Yeah. If you were a normal person, you would be like, hey, so you remember when Gene, we thought Gene died like that. You would. Oh, God.

Speaker: Ridiculous. Remember this? And it's it's like, and I understand it it has to, they have to do these like recaps, especially in a first issue. To include, like, to make it that strange and then include Scott saying, why are you saying this? Yeah, to highlight it, to draw a circle around it and be like, hey, everybody, just so you know, this writing sucks.

Speaker: Or it's just like, I know you know the story. I'm still talking.

Speaker: Oh, so good. Throughout the story so far, the mutants have been encountering little conflicts with the public fueled by anti-mutant sentiment. Yeah. Gene has just learned how bad things have gotten from an issue of Time magazine with the cover story Dazzler and the Mutant Mutant.

Speaker: menace she wants to do something about the ever-increasing threat to mutant kind there's reason there's a bunch of there's a bunch of uh people ah hating mutants and one of my favorites is when when warren is flying through the airport a woman goes oh my heaven a winged man

Speaker: ah She wants to do something Jean does about the ever increasing threat to mutant kind. She reasons that they can't return to the X-Men since Magneto is now leading the school. Again, everybody is like, yeah, they must be villains now.

Speaker: When Warren and Scott tell her they're retired, she freaks out, smashing the wall and flying away. Warren chases her and tells her she's right. And he's got a plan. Oh, no.

Speaker: Two weeks later, hank McCoy is fed up after having his applications for professor rejected by 15 different colleges due to his being a mutant. Wild.

Speaker: He rips his clothes off and storms out of Harvard's medical school. Wild, wild but also Clarence Thomas told me that that's OK. that shows That's OK for colleges to do.

Speaker: ah He rips his clothes off and storms out of Harvard's medical school. A lot of people ripping their clothes off. Yeah, yeah. I do love that he's, that's his like, because the the guy interviewing him is like, please think of my reputation. And he's like, no, and tears his shirt off and jumps out the window. Yeah.

Speaker: But he's intercepted by his buddy, Warren. that Bobby Drake is two weeks into his new accounting job when he gets a call from Warren and darts out the front door iced up and ready to go.

Speaker: He says, the Iceman cometh again. Christ. Right back to it. I know. I know. did We stopped keeping count of Iceman Comeths, but... Yes, there are too many per issue.

Speaker: At a huge waterfront property in Manhattan, Bobby and Hank arrive to address three issues. First, Warren is starting a new corporation and needs their help. Second, a Jean Grey is alive.

Speaker: Third, scott Scott Summers is missing. LAUGHTER

Speaker: and it's what it was number two it's such a fucked up thing because they're just like hey guys surprise your friend is alive anyway recognize but we're not through the list yet so so keep paying attention it's so crazy what a fucked up thing to do to somebody just like hey your friend's alive look surprise surprise i have a fun surprise for you guys and bobby's probably probably like oh ice cream

Speaker: so third point scott summers is missing yeah the boys find him at jamaica bay all run down and fucked up about gene he's been they say yeah it's been weeks he's been missing This is where this is step two of what's fucking like he he disappears on his wife and child for weeks, weeks. And yeah, that I'm saying this tracks with the the man that I'm picturing now is like he made the choice to abandon his family, went York, went to New York,

Speaker: was overwhelmed by that situation. So he's just spent weeks wandering around the city, like in a daze. This is a new man. This is a new guy though. This is not the Scott Summers we know who is obsessed with responsibility. This is a man in crisis. This is a new guy. This is a new guy. We've never met before who so who just like, unlike Scott Summers, he's,

Speaker: is terrified of responsibility. I i disagree. the Familial responsibility is different from being good at your job, which is the responsibility that we know know him for. But the reason that he left Madeline and his baby is because of Jean Grey.

Speaker: And then he leaves Jean Grey! And now he's just... What was he doing? Oh, what a fucking mistake I made. What was he doing? Because I can't talk to Jean Grey without revealing to her that I've lived a whole life and fell in love with someone else and had a child. So he would go back. But he can't go back home. He could can't. He can't own up to that mistake. Like he can't go back with his hands to be his tail between his legs. He's I'm telling you, we don't like it.

Speaker: But this is this is. the actions of a man that took on more responsibility than he could handle. And that's not ridiculous for a character. This is ridiculous to do this and then tell us that that's who's that's who Scott Summers, the guy we've been hanging out with for, what, 23 years?

Speaker: That that's who Scott Summers is. All right. Listeners can't see it, but I'm doing my... All right. no Okay. Okay. After a pep talk, they convince him that Gene will understand about Maddie and that the five of them have an opportunity to do something important.

Speaker: He decides to come with them. They don't talk about Maddie at all. At all. Except for like, as a consequence that. Yeah. Not one second of like, and here's what we can do about your wife or here's what you should do about your wife or why aren't you doing anything about your wife? Like, no one cares about Maddie Pryor.

Speaker: They are just like, worry about Jean for now, OK? They were the groomsmen at his fucking wedding. Yeah, yeah. So Warren's big plan is this. He's hired his old college roommate, a public relations guy named Cameron Hodge, and they founded a new company called Factor.

Speaker: Do you know that's what an X Factor is Do you know ah the name Cameron Hodge? Every time I heard it, I was like, I know this name, but know. have no associations with Cameron Hodge?

Speaker: No, like I can't connect him to anything. That's so interesting. Okay, cool. That's cool. Is it? Yeah, I like when you're surprised by stuff. It's a mutant detective agency that purports to investigate and controlled mutant menaces in your neighborhood for a fee. oh boy. There's a toll free number which advertises on TV and in print that capitalizes on humans distrust of mutants to real customers in. Oh, boy.

Speaker: the five original X-Men will masquerade as a human task force of scientists that will arrive on the scene to control or deter mutants and then secretly use these opportunity as opportunities to rescue and train budding young mutants in accordance with Professor X's dream.

Speaker: Oh, boy. However, when the gang sees the ad and the way it stokes the flames of anti-mutant hysteria, they flip out. Okay. What are your thoughts here?

Speaker: Is this? So part of me thinks or hopes that the arc here is going to be about how fucked up of a thing this is to do.

Speaker: To yeah number one, masquerade as like a secret police for mutants as mutants, just so people will like. Yeah. to It's secret identities and everything aside that very flimsy part of it.

Speaker: You are joining the ranks of the enemy. Yes. And not only that, you're putting out ads that like perpetuate the myths that you're trying to fight against privately.

Speaker: it is like saying, I'm going to found ice and advertise ice. So that I can take down ice. So that I can, not even that, so that I can save immigrants.

Speaker: like Yes. What the fuck? I'm going to recruit for ice. I'm going to recruit the best and the brightest. For ice so that I can secretly sneak some immigrants away.

Speaker: the the ones that don't get killed. The ones that people don't get killed. don't Don't kill. Like, it's absurd. So even if that's the arc that they're going for here, it is even more absurdity to be like, wait.

Speaker: wait Gene Gray and Hank McCoy and Scott Summers would be like, yeah, this is a great idea. This is a great idea. I love this idea.

Speaker: Fucking good idea, man. So good. Because they do. There's there's one sign that they don't like it, which is them being like. uh when is this gonna air and then Cameron Hodge is like oh it's already airing and they're like what it's like a comedic cutaway yeah but then they're all on board and like there's there are moments through the series or through the first four issues that we're reading today where i think Gene primarily is like is this is this the right way to go about this but

Speaker: I can't tell if they're going to go for like a, if this is a considered by the writer to be a bad idea. Me neither. And clearly like he came up with it, right?

Speaker: Yeah. Bob Layton, the artist, Bob Layton was like, I want to be a writer for Marvel because I have such a good idea. And it was this. It's so great. And there's just so many reasons it wouldn't work. First of all,

Speaker: did Did we explain it well enough? Like, they are going to they're going to be like, we are an anti-mutant task force. We we are four five humans that'll come and beat up some mutants for you if you suspect someone in your neighborhood of being a mutant. Or if you're worried about mutants nearby you. We'll come, and we we believe you because humans don't deserve to have these fucking gross mutants all over the place. And then we'll come, and then...

Speaker: We will secretly use that information to show up as superheroes or what people will assume are mutant terrorists and get those mutants out of here.

Speaker: Yeah, it's a very complicated slogan.

Speaker: um And they dress up. So they dress up like the challengers of the unknown also, which is funny. But also, so how would this work when Angel and Beast are both well-known public mutants?

Speaker: Right. I think the the thing that this comic isn't taking into account is that, like, not all of their identities were kept secret. Yes. And Iceman, he just revealed himself at his accounting job, right? When he stormed out of his accounting job. Another guy. He's going to get fired. Another guy is ripping his clothes off. No, when he stormed out of his accounting job, he did Iceman stuff.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. was so excited. Plus, fucking Cousin Joel knows who he is. Yeah, yeah. Wouldn't Cousin Joel blow the whistle on this? But so the other thing besides the secret identities and the fact that this is just a horrible idea to begin with.

Speaker: This wouldn't like the second time they did this. People would catch on like, hey, every time we call X Factor, these terrorists show up and that I was complaining about and gets like kidnapped every single time.

Speaker: Have they ever actually done their job?

Speaker: but anyway meanwhile sailor boy rusty sits in a navy jail cell awaiting transport to a medical center for testing as the navy believes that the attack on the sex worker may not have been his fault that's this is interesting i think that's an interesting yeah yeah that there's a government body here being like now we understand what it is to when your mutant power kicks on This pisses his chief off, though, and he smuggles his way into the jail, armed and ready to execute Rusty.

Speaker: This sets off Rusty's fire powers, and he accidentally blows a hole through the wall. Not how fire works. begins to Fire doesn't blow rock. Fire doesn't just explode.

Speaker: He begins to run, trying to get far away from people, as he can't control the flames. He accidentally burns the whole naval base down. You'd think a naval base out of anything, out of anything in the world. Would be made of metal. A naval base would be flame retardant somehow. Yeah.

Speaker: I flicked cigarette near the naval base and the whole thing burned down. Why are they building these things out of straw? Hours later, the chief, worried about what Rusty will tell the police, decides to call X-Factor.

Speaker: Still hesitant about the whole concept, Scott and Bobby agree to accompany Gene on X-Factor's first assignment. You'd think Bobby would be like the first one to be like, yeah, this is a good idea. Yeah, yeah. This guy loves following people around. But but he's one of the few who's like, this sucks.

Speaker: Yeah. Dressed in uniforms and sunglasses, posing as humans. The gang is directed by the chief to the hills of San Diego, where Rusty is still being pursued by the Navy. Soon, the original X-Men all arrive in brand new superhero uniforms. Describe them, Pat. ah So everybody except for Bobby, of course, has a big X across their chest. Oh, except for Bobby and Hank, right? They both wear their little undies. They're nude. Scott and Gene are both back to like the full head covering.

Speaker: yeah yeah yeah scott's got a big blue costume with a big yellow x and gene's got a big green costume with a big yellow x yeah yeah do you picture body suits uh that also cover the head yeah with like eye holes cut out and a giant x that uh centered across the torso that meets around like just above the belly button yeah i mean like yeah I don't, sorry to put it like this, but just to so you can picture the, if you're not reading it or looking at it, the X crosses in between Gene's boobs.

Speaker: Yes. Yeah. So that's, that's, that's fine that's fashion. That's yeah. it Yeah. I'm not saying it's bad. I'm just, just to help you picture it. And then Warren of course is still wearing his, uh, the outfit Magneto gave him. Oh,

Speaker: ah Yeah, i guess they all designed their outfits after Warren's outfit that Magneto made. I guess, yeah. Wild. They manage to disable and scare off the Navy people chasing Rusty and track him down to a mine.

Speaker: Cornered and panicking, he refuses to go with them and lashes out, blowing up the mine. In the collapse, they subdue and capture him and bring him back to X Factor headquarters where they calm him down and explain their true identities and purpose to Meanwhile, the chief gets a bill for $42,000 and Madeline sits awake in Anchorage, Alaska, watching the X Factor on television alone.

Speaker: The end.

Speaker: Pat, what's $42,000 in today money? oh uh it would be around like 125 grand jesus christ yes so so that's one of the things they're like ah also we're fleecing these bigots which like okay fine but you are grasping this is a lifetime navy man he doesn't have this kind of money like what's where are you getting this The way they subdue Rusty is pretty funny. Yes, they fucking put him in an asbestos bag.

Speaker: Which I guess they just had. at the time, they didn't have the same understanding of asbestos as we do now. But they're just giving this boy cancer.

Speaker: he's in ah of He's fully encased in asbestos. although i They just have an asbestos bag. Why'd they have that?

Speaker: Well, you know, you you you carry around a flame retardant bag with you just in case you need to hop in it in case of a fire. ah Pat.

Speaker: Yes. how First of all, how do you feel about X Factor number one? It's the new dawning of the new X-Men. I kind of liked it.

Speaker: It's not the X-Men that we're used to and relatively shaky, right? It's not. We're used to these like really strong character driven, drawn out stories.

Speaker: This is not bad. Right. But. One would say that that is what the X-Men is based on. Almost. Like, that is what makes the X-Men appealing is these character-based stories. but You could, but again, that's not what made the X-Men appealing in the 60s and into the early 70s, which is... or no, I guess they didn't make it into the early 70s. In the 60s, which is what I feel like this was a ah request for.

Speaker: Take us back to the old X-Men where they don't talk so much and they're... You could you understand what they're going to do. Right. I got some really bad news from this one, Matt. What's that? Scott walking around town depressed for weeks. Apparently, he says he visited all the old spots. OK.

Speaker: R.I.P. to the Coffee Bean Cafe. Yeah. Where's on? Where's Bernard going to read his grocery lists? Bernard's dead. Excuse me.

Speaker: I assume.

Speaker: What about Vera and Zelda? Well, Vera's in Canada with the mimic, right? I assume. and Zelda, maybe she's, is she dead? pat zelda Did Zelda die? Let's find out if we can, if we can, let's see if we can figure out what happened to Zelda in X Factor and Bernard in X Factor number two.

Speaker: Bless this mess. Oh, sorry. Bless the Beasts and Children. Bless the Beasts and Children. Written. Yeah, my my mom had that on the ah on the wall of our house in cross-stitch. Bob Layton, writer. Jackson Guicci, pencils and plot assist. Joe Rubenstein, finisher. Joe Rosenletterer. Petra Scutese, colorist. Bob Harris, editor.

Speaker: interested This is neither of the two editors from issue number one. so So that's a good sign, right? when two you It takes you two editors to get an issue out and then both quit and before issue two. And then neither make it to issue two. yeah yeah and then William Johnson, to the Release date,

Speaker: december seventeenth nineteen eighty five covered a march nineteen eighty six gene wakes up from a nightmare about the whole Phoenix thing, and thinks about how she could possibly put her life back together from here.

Speaker: Even Scott, her love, seems to be distant and avoiding any serious conversations. Gene, it's been weeks. It is fucking... I don't think he's your boyfriend anymore.

Speaker: Four pages of recap. Yes. Four pages of recap and saying the subtext out loud where Gene's just like, I don't know that there's a place for me anymore. I've been gone for years. And as I come back, I'm not sure that anybody really saved a spot for me. And that yes, fucking we know. We know.

Speaker: Damn it. We know. But they got to fill all those pages, Matt. Yeah.

Speaker: Scott, meanwhile, is being rightfully dressed down by Warren for both abandoning his family, which Warren fucking asked him to do without contact for weeks and also keeping that family a secret from Gene the whole time he's been here.

Speaker: Scott tells Warren, he just doesn't understand. And they argue until they're interrupted by Cameron Hodge, who just wanted to let them know they're getting a lot of prank phone calls on the X Factor line. all right, so this is the next step of Scott. This doesn't make much sense. Scott just being like, no, you don't understand. I can't call my wife. It's like, no, how do you, after weeks of this, you would have fucking called your wife?

Speaker: but How do you not recognize that this is just this is a man in denial? like Because that's not his summers Scott Scott's a resistant guy who always accepts his responsibility. Speaking the absolute truth to him. And Scott has to accept that he's wrong about abandoning his family. It's too big for him to wrap his head around right now.

Speaker: assuming that he did that, which he wouldn't have done. Like, this is all making this, like, this is, it's it's building, you're building now, what would this man do if he did something that he never would do?

Speaker: And so that, at that point, like, yeah, all fucking rules about his personality are, yes, he did it, which means all rules about his personality, about the character that we've grown to know for 25 years are gone. And so we're starting this man over with a it doesn't.

Speaker: This is a man whose life changed significantly and he changed significantly along with it. I have another big point that'll disprove everything you're saying. Okay.

Speaker: Warren comes to Scott's room in his underwear and walks around. He's like, um much hey, I was just coming to see you for a business meeting. You're in your literal underwear, dude. is it your Underwear even your outfit. You're just walking around nude. And it's not, we're not saying underwear as in one of those little like, like superhero briefs. These are underwear with like a dick hole and stuff. like Yeah, like he's going to bed. yeah It's crazy. And it's not even to let his wings out because he's wearing a robe. Right. Just open. Yeah. Yeah. Just open so that you can see his whole package and everything.

Speaker: hu He's a beautiful man. Hank and Bobby are looking for an apartment downtown, meanwhile, but find that the rent has gone up significantly in their old neighborhood. Pat, it's $1,000 a month for that's an apartment. That's insane. In Manhattan?

Speaker: it In the East Village, yeah. After a using powers in public incident, they lay low at an old friend's apartment. Vera! Vera!

Speaker: They're both shocked to find that she's no longer the reserved librarian type they knew growing up. Growing up, she's got a hip haircut and is hot now. I guess Hank always knew she was hot somehow.

Speaker: That's true. Yeah, yeah. He's still through it all. There's no story reason for them to have made her hot. Like, this could still be the same Vera. They're just like... Oh, but now she's a hot lady.

Speaker: And they're like, what happened to her? Is it a drug overdose? Is she brainwashed by aliens? Like, you guys smoked pot with her for years. This is just. you knew she was cool. Exactly. She might have been like a buttoned up librarian, but she was also like a weird hippie who went to a cafe to watch experimental poetry and then smoked pot with you.

Speaker: I mean, Hank is rightfully shocked because this is his ex-girlfriend, right? And he's like, he's just, and honestly, I don't think she's seen him since he turned blue. So she's being awfully reserved here. He's the one that I think is in the right to be like,

Speaker: Oh, hello. Right. Last we saw her, she was in Canada with the mimic, right? Yes. Yeah. And there's no mention of that here. But yeah, yeah she had fallen in love with Cal Ripken.

Speaker: Wait. rankin cow rankin cow rankin ah and was begging for hank's help to restore him back to yeah whatever the problem was granted that was 10 years ago yeah yeah and wouldn't he at least be like ah were you still with calvin And it's not like we're going to get any more like that was from Amazing Adventures. Right.

Speaker: And it's not like we're going to get any more references to that. Like that was 10 years ago. So everybody's forgotten about that Amazing Adventure series. We're not going more references to it or anything. So Vera hasn't forgotten about it. That was clearly a very important part of her life.

Speaker: She makes them tea and catches them up on her life Until they're attacked by a 15-foot man calling himself Tower. He whips ass and kidnaps Hank alive, leaving Bobby and Vera unconscious on the ground.

Speaker: It's very clear that he needs him alive. Mm-hmm. Meanwhile, after a successful training session with Rusty, in which she calls his power pyrotechnic powers instead of, like, pyrokinetic. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Pyrotechnics. Pyrotechnic powers. Yeah. Yeah. he's building a stage show. Right, like he's got ah like he's got little gas canisters in his in his sleeves and ah and a lighter that he's hiding. So after that, Gene presses Scott a little on what he's been up to these last couple of years, but Scott walks away.

Speaker: yeah that's a tough chat to have. In his room, wracked with guilt, he finally calls home, only to find that the number's been disconnected. He starts to rage out, but just then, the X-Factor alarm goes off.

Speaker: All right, this is the next huge step, which is my wife, who is with my child, her phone line is dead.

Speaker: Ah, she's probably just mad at me. i will forget all about it. ah Yeah, it's... Okay. I will say him being like, okay, she must've moved out. Like that's it. She disconnected the phone line. So I couldn't find her. She really did kick me out because I've been missing for weeks. That's not, that's, that's a very rational conclusion to come to what's not, what's not rational is not at least trying a second source to see if you can get right, right.

Speaker: Well, We know you know her parents. And her the airline she works for. airline she owns. And like where does your kid go to daycare? like There's all sorts of... yeah it's it's This is the absolute absurd thing. right like And this is where I will continue to be mad. Which is he loses all contact with Maddie and her baby.

Speaker: And he doesn't do anything. He doesn't show any amount of concern. Like, what if something's happened to them? What if they're not okay? Yes. That is when it's like, it goes from, okay, here's some minor character assassination to of Scott this is a guy i can't i can't recognize even a little bit anymore.

Speaker: Yeah, well. do strange things when they're wracked with guilt, man. Scott, the Scott that we know, that we've known, would have gotten in a plane and flow flown, even if it was just to yell at her, right? Like, he's also an angry man. We also know this about Scott, is even, not only, even if it was just to be a a mean guy, he's also, he's been an angry man at people his whole life.

Speaker: Yeah. He would fly all the way there to be like, how dare you? Well, not if he feels so guilty. but which I think especially if he feels so guilty. He yelled at um Lee Forrester. That's true.

Speaker: All right, so it turns out Bobby called to get them over to Vera's apartment undercover and to explain to them what happened. They set off to find Hank or 15-foot man or any sort of lead they can in the basement of Ryan Biochemical Labs in Atlanta, several stories underground. Hank, locked in a cell,

Speaker: meets his captor dr carl maddox what remember this guy oops oops i guess people do remember what happened in amazing adventures oops sorry it is crazy crazy that through this entire issue after we meet carl here the narrator keeps treating it like a mystery the the narrator keeps being like this mysterious man that's captured him he's like you remember me carl we worked together at the time that you turned yourself blue and furry back at amazing adventures

Speaker: Right, but they don't explain... so yes, I agree. But they also don't explain why Carl's still alive. They don't use his last name. Right, he died. Yeah, they don't they don't... There's so much that they don't explain...

Speaker: But that's not the part that seems mysterious. Like, that's the part that's mysterious to me and you, because we know who this guy is. But to a reader of this thing, they're going to like, okay, mystery solved. It's this guy.

Speaker: It's this guy who did it. It's Carl, I guess.

Speaker: He kidnapped Hank to do science since Maddox has reached a dead end in his research to cure mutant. Hank refuses to help and warns Maddox that he has friends coming to rescue him. But Maddox assures Hank he's about to eliminate the only other man who knows where they are. He places an anonymous call to X Factor to report the location of tower.

Speaker: Okay, the irony here is pretty good, right? Because Maddox is like, you think your friends are going are gonna save you, but I'm actually going to call X-Factor, tell them not to. Yeah, pretty ridiculous.

Speaker: In the meantime, he leaves Hank with a copy of his notes, knowing he can't resist the urge to fill in the missing pieces. He's right. And as Hank reads through and mentally corrects all of Maddox's work, this is interesting because Hank's like, I'm not going to help you. I'm not going to write down anything here. Yeah, yeah. Right. But I will do it in my head. But I'm going to do it my head because I can't resist. what Just looking at the formulas, my brain is going to start fixing them. Yeah.

Speaker: As he corrects all of Maddox's work, we see Maddox standing next to a a little pink boy with a giant head and bug eyes. It's his son, Arthur, who is psychically extracting all of Hank's thoughts and projecting them onto the wall. Pat, Artie Maddox is here.

Speaker: Artie Maddox? Do you know Artie? No. He's a little pink boy. Well, I know that. With a big head and bug eyes. He sure is. And he can project things from his mind into the air the wall. pretty cool.

Speaker: He rules. This guy oh yeah yeah This guy's going to just be, this is going to be one of our favorites. He's going to be one of our favorites forever. ah The only...

Speaker: We know one other little um oddly colored big headed boy with giant eyes. Yes, who also has a cat. Who also has a cat and named Leech. And man, can you imagine the sparks when these two meet? When these two little... Get out here. These little two urchins meet. Oh, okay. um Once the formula is complete, Maddox tranquilizes Hank and reveals he'll be the test subject for this new cure.

Speaker: No. Meanwhile, X-Factor set out to find Tower, and it's finally their turn to whip ass. They defeat him, but he knows what's going on here.

Speaker: They're renegade mutants and can't take him to the authorities. If they want him to talk, they're going to have to cut him a deal. What a dick. Back at the lab, phase one of Maddox's experiment is not going well as Hank goes into cardiac arrest on the table to be continued. no Yeah, and Beast, this is where Beast is going to die.

Speaker: He's the left panel is him going cardiac arrest. Trying to try to give him CPR, which will probably be a big plot point in the next issue. Right. Like as Beast going into cardiac arrest, he's going to have to spend a lot of time and a lot of panels and a lot of problem solving to fix it.

Speaker: Yeah, usually is when you talk like that, Matt. Let's go to factor number three regression obsession. Bob Layton, writer. Jackson Guicci, pencil art. Joseph Rubenstein, ink art. Joe Rosen, letterer. Petra Scotesi, colorist. Bob Harris, editor. He made it for two issues in a row. Yeah, there we go. I mean, this's this is the same creative team as last issue. I guess all the editorial problems are fixed.

Speaker: Yeah. And then ah dumb diarrhea, editor-in-chief. Release date January 14th, 1986. Cover date April 1986. The beast is dying.

Speaker: or wait, he's not. All good. But he is still the prisoner of Dr. Carl Maddox, who is trying to make him human again. The whole plot point is gone. It's fixed. Phew! It opens with, Phew! Thank heavens I was able to make him not have a heart attack anymore. Anyway...

Speaker: Carl asks his son, Arthur, to project an image from Tower's thoughts on the wall, and they see that Tower got his ass beat and is currently cutting a deal with some mysterious mutants. He then asks Arthur to mind lock Tower, which apparently means he can kind of freeze someone's brain in stasis so they can't move or talk. But it also apparently takes a lot of energy and Arthur soon passes out.

Speaker: I think this is a power of Artie's that just goes away forever. Oh, this doesn't come back that he can mind lock people is just something that i I don't know. Maybe like way later when he joins ah like that, that fantastic, that fantastic for that Matt fraction, fantastic for thing maybe.

Speaker: But yeah, I don't think like he has mind lock powers from now on. I mean, he's if he's psychic, you would say, well, I guess there's a million kinds of psychic, right? Even that, it's not even really. Like, his power is more to project images in the air from people's heads. It's not like Artie becomes one of the telepaths of the Marvel Universe or something.

Speaker: Okay. it's interesting it's just it's It's just interesting. It's more mind reading. How in these first couple issues, they they they put they give him so much power That just doesn't follow him throughout the future of the X-Men.

Speaker: Bob Layton, it seems like, hates this little boy. Every time he's talking about him, he's describing him as like this pathetic, foolish, oddly shaped child. It says here, the mute boy nods his misshapen head, affirmative.

Speaker: Be nice. Be nice. Be nice to Artie. As he puts him through hell in these first couple issues. Yeah, yeah. He goes through it. um But so he mind locks tower, eventually passes out. This, once he recovers, pisses tower off.

Speaker: So he tells Cyclops and the gang everything about Dr. Carl Maddox. Gene tries to recruit him, but he tells them to fuck off. For the optimist, he's like, you know, we're starting a little gang. and he's like, ha ha! You dummy. Good luck.

Speaker: We get a brief interlude where Vera talks to Cameron Hodge about how worried she is, but is then interrupted by a Senator Thompson. He's a friend of Warren's and he comes bearing grave news in a classified dossier.

Speaker: He also worries that X Factor may be doing more harm than good. Pat, what the fuck is this scene? a So my hope is that this is To remind us that even though they're doing this X factor thing, like ultimately it's going to pan out to be a bad idea the way that they're pretending to be so anti mutant. Sure. But what the fuck is this guy? Like he hands a dossier and then it just doesn't come back.

Speaker: it use Senator Thompson. Maybe it comes back in a couple issues, but it doesn't doesn't come back next issue, just to warn you guys. They get a different secret contact telling them something else.

Speaker: Well, I was going to say, wouldn't a senator usually send, like... some muscle to do this kind of job instead of being seen himself. You'd think. Back at Ryan labs, Arthur sneaks into his dad's private lab out of concern for the big man on the medical table.

Speaker: Hank is wrapped up like a mummy and Arthur touches him trying to establish a mind link. He sees all Hank's memories and smiles until he feels the pain and terror Hank experienced during Carl's experiment.

Speaker: He breaks the mind link and walks away in tears. Artie!

Speaker: Soon the gang arrives at the labs. The X factor. Yeah, this is well, they're not X factor. they're Not not as X factor. they're This is is we're going to need to come up with a name for these guys because when they're when when X factor is not X factor. Because they're not X men.

Speaker: They're not X factor. They're just mutant terrorists or whatever. How about X force? ah What about Generation X?

Speaker: Well, they're mutants, but they're like a new team. So what about the new mutants? New mutants. or You know what? They're not really like they're kind of outside the X-Men circle right now. What if they're the exiles?

Speaker: They split into teams with Cyclops and Angel approaching from the roof while Iceman and Marvel Girl sneak in the back. The roof team immediately runs into armored guards and has to fight their way through to an elevator shaft while the ground team is immediately detected by Arthur, who projects them onto the wall for his father. Damn it, Artie.

Speaker: The ground team makes it to the elevator shaft before they're accosted by the same armored guards and they dive in. everywhere They just all for some reason they split up and then just all make their way back to this elevator elevator. everything everything leads to elevator it's not even part of their play it's not even like they talk about like and then we'll meet up at the elevator shaft it just they just both get in and they're like get to the elevator shaft and they mentioned that there's like eight elevators here too it's just that they all converge on the same shaft moments later the two teams rendezvous just outside the top secret lab that hank is in

Speaker: At that moment, Arthur is refusing to go along with his father. Yeah. he's He's concerned about how much suffering Hank is in Carl tries to plead with his son. This is all for him.

Speaker: he just wants his little boy to be normal again. At that moment, though, Cyclops blasts through the damn wall. Yes! Karo gives the team a recap of Amazing Adventures number 11 and then tells them that when the bad guys dumped his body, he was actually alive. Okay.

Speaker: They killed him, they thought, but... The bullet just creaks his skull. He recovered, reunited with his son, and started a job at Ryan Labs. Then, one day, his little boy's mutant genes kicked in.

Speaker: He became bald, his skin became pink, his head and eyes became huge, he stopped being able to speak, and he suddenly had this power to read thoughts and project them as images. Carl wanted to take this power away, but he couldn't do it on his own. He needed the brainpower of Hank McCoy.

Speaker: Now, Hank is in a state of cellular regression, his mutant cells turning human. But that's not the worst of it. Because this level is top secret, and because the mutants broke in, there will be a shoot-to-kill order on all of them.

Speaker: They'll kill his son. And per Arthur's mind images, the armored guards have reached the lower level just now. Maddox knows of a secret tunnel out of here, but if the guards know they're in it, they'll just seal it.

Speaker: He makes a decision. He'll stay behind and hold them off while the mutants escape with Hank and Arthur. There's so much... Like, the way that Bob Layton writes is kind of like um ah Stranger Thing, where it is like...

Speaker: And here's why we can't do this. And you might be thinking that maybe we can do this, but actually here's why we can't do this. And there's three reasons why this is about to happen. And two more reasons why this is this way. So that's why, even though it doesn't make much sense to you, wouldn't have made much sense to you in the beginning. We have to We're meeting in the same elevator. We have to do this crazy thing. That'll be the most entertaining version of the thing we can do.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. Like, they just have to block off all possibilities. And explain every last fucking word to us. Yes, yeah, exactly. As they run, Arthur projects an image in the air of what's happening behind them. They see a shootout, and they see Dr. Carl Maddox riddled with bullets.

Speaker: Arthur screams. Oh, poor Artie. He's is's going through so much. So much. Yeah, he just watched his father, well... what appears to be dying.

Speaker: Oh yeah. Yeah. there were the Rumors of this guy has been greatly exaggerated in the pretty good with bullets.

Speaker: Cut to Manhattan the next day. The gang waste nervously as Hank is in critical care in the X factor buildings, medical facilities. Gene approaches Scott to finally ask him what's going on with him.

Speaker: When suddenly they're summoned to the lab. Jesus Christ. It's just the end of every. This is like, I know we've talked about this before, but when you watch one of those like monster of the week shows that has one overarching plot for the entire season. Yeah. So the beginning of and beginning and end of every episode, they have to talk about this big thing that's going on. And just toss it aside for the rest of it.

Speaker: This is and this will just keep happening and we we could talk about it next issue, but it'll just keep happening where somebody is like, Scott, you have to tell me what's going on. He's like,

Speaker: okay, I guess I, so there's an alarm. We've got to go And it's like, there have been weeks in between the last issue and this issue. You didn't have one second during that time to have a conversation.

Speaker: What are the what are the chances that both times you've been brave enough to bring this up is the same time that an alarm triggers? Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly. So there's someone to the lab because Hank McCoy is awake. But Hank McCoy is no longer blue and furry.

Speaker: What? No, no. Put him back.

Speaker: Yeah, it's like the old. be All right. Just some more absolute ridiculous bullshit, right? Like where. Bob Layton, this is clearly like an editorial mandate or just Bob Layton's like overarching view, one of the two. Yeah, yeah. Where they're like, we want the old X-Men back together, so ah we got to bring Gene back. And...

Speaker: they should look like the old X-Men. So you've got to find a way to make Hank McCoy look like old Hank McCoy so that when they're all standing together, it looks like the original X-Men because that'll sell more books, right? Like, yeah, yeah. I love the idea that Bob, that Bob Layton was like, all right, chief, I finally got the whole team back together. And Jim stupid looked at it and was like, the fuck is this blue guy? Yeah.

Speaker: He's like holding up a picture of the original X-Men and holding up that picture. It's like, this is the beast. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I don't think these are the same guys.

Speaker: he's also for some reason he's got like that he's got the legion haircut that it's like sticking straight up in the air yeah one note here it's happened more than once but it happened in this issue here bob layton seems really concerned about the impact of bobby's ice yeah he's called out iceman for leaving hundreds of pounds of ice everywhere Yeah, it's it's something I realized i never thought about before, but probably should have been.

Speaker: Where's all that ice going and after he makes ah after he makes a big old ice bridge and yeah rides it all the way through Manhattan? Is it just slowly melting and dropping on the people of Manhattan? We have talked about this before, but it is crazy. And it it is funny to have it called out.

Speaker: Here's a thing I started noticing, right? So the first time Bob Layton has somebody call it out, it's because Iceman did it in Warren's house. And they're like, Beast is like, right he's going to have to clean that up. It's going to melt all over the place and whatever. And I was like, okay. right And I was thinking for a second, well, hold on. Is it going to? Because all he's doing is pulling moisture from the air around them.

Speaker: And then I realized, wait.

Speaker: there's If there was that much moisture in that section of air, it would be so it would be that wet at that time, right? So he's pulling moisture from all sorts of places.

Speaker: He's pulling moisture from more than just that section of air. So if you're standing near Iceman when he does his ice thing, are you just all of a sudden like...

Speaker: Yeah, does your throat get really dry? You're like, all of a sudden dry your skin. You're like, I need some chapstick. I lotion. I'm so dry. That's interesting. Yeah. Where is he getting hundreds of pounds of water? Exactly. There can't be a hundreds of pounds of water in the air.

Speaker: in Warren's apartment. I don't know. I honestly, this is I don't know the science of this at all. The, the water vapor, uh, is mystifying to me.

Speaker: very very good all right all right strong end for issue three let's go on to x factor number four trials and errors bob layton's the writer and keith pollard is the layout artist huh issue number four we've got a different chief artist Joe Rubenstein is the finisher. Joe Rosen's the letter pretest. Scottese is the colorist. Bob Harris is the editor. And the editor-in-chief is Henry Brockholz Livingston, 1757 1823. Release date. Oh, wow. He lived to ripe old age.

Speaker: release date oh wow he lived to a ripe old age Release date, February Cover date, May

Speaker: Made 1886. Pat. My first birthday. i am. You're right. It's my first birthday.

Speaker: We open at LaGuardia Airport ah in Medias Res, where X-Factor is once again kicking the ass of Tower. after they caught him snooping around their headquarters.

Speaker: They are? why did you Why did you chase him all the way to the airport to do this? And then as you're beating him up, why are you just like, what were you doing near our house?

Speaker: Stay off our turf, kid. They're just, you know, that's that's their fighting ground, is the airport. This raises a good point, though. Another problem with this whole thing, right, is like, aren't good mutants going to be like,

Speaker: We've got to put a stop to these fucking assholes. They're going to see the X Factor ads on TV and good mutants are going be like. Somebody's going to be like. Like Wolverine might show up. Secret police of the.

Speaker: Of mutants. Wolverine and Magneto might show up at your door and be like, we're here to kill you. Yeah. um before they can really wreck tower though he shrinks down to a tiny size and slips away only to be grabbed by a large strong woman named frenzy frenzy's here pat frenzy she becomes a big x-man uh later on frenzy tells him his failure to find the boy will disappoint their master and

Speaker: She literally throws him in the dumpster as she goes off to handle the job herself. Pretty good. Tossing him in the dumpster. Meanwhile, Hank is having a great time in the HQ's practice facility. it's They make it very clear, like, hey, don't worry.

Speaker: Even though his fur was taken away and stuff, he's still got his powers. He's still got his powers. It is exactly like the old Hank you remember. Yeah, we should mention in the last issue, he only got two out of the three phases needed to completely remove his mutant ability. Yes. So again, it's like it's just this positioning, right? It's Gene has to be alive. Scott can't have a family.

Speaker: Hank has to be not blue and furry anymore, but still have his powers. And then we'll have the old X-Men back together. So he's having a great time, but Rusty isn't.

Speaker: He gets cocky and almost gets hit by one of Bobby's ice missiles, which scares him so bad he almost lights everyone on fire, which causes Gene to yell at him. And then Scott and Artie enter to talk about his situation, which freaks Rusty out because he finds Artie disgusting. And he calls Artie a freak and runs out of the room.

Speaker: Ugh. What a panel. Can't believe all that happened so quickly. ah They're back to calling him his powers pyrokinetic, by the way. Okay, good. they They realized, like, right afterwards, one of the nerds at Marvel, somebody like me. maybe that's what Jackson Guise got fired over. Yeah, Bob Layton gets called into Jimmy Jumass's office and he's like, you called it pyroquedid. And he's like, Jackson, Jackson told me to do it.

Speaker: Jackson told me that's what it was called.

Speaker: Meanwhile, Cameron Hodge takes a call from an old college buddy. Of course X Factor can help him out. You'd think that this is, they would have just used the fucking senator.

Speaker: To be the person who... To be the one to push... To progress the plot here. Yeah. But no, it's just somebody completely different. It's also... It's kind of fucked up that two issues ago...

Speaker: Cameron Hodge was like, we're just getting too many calls. Like, it's hard to tell which ones are authentic and which aren't. But listen, I've got this. I'm going to make sure you get all the right missions here. And then his friend calls him and is like, hey, can you bring ah X Factor over for my little ah little thing? And he's like, yes, I was 100 immediately. ah A short while later, Scott, while training Artie to use his powers, starts comforting him after Rusty's hurtful words. He has Artie pull any memory he wants from his brain and project it on the wall.

Speaker: Artie starts with a memory of the classic X-Men. It's cute. Artie's like all smiley. He's like, oh, this seems like fun. And then finds a sad memory. Madeline yelling at him right before he walked out the door.

Speaker: Training over. Scott, Scott, Scott, fucking. First of all, don't tell a child, hey, take a look at any memory in my head that you want. Yeah, it's just like him having sex with his wife.

Speaker: No, no, not that one. Then after after Artie projects this image of Madeline yelling at him, Scott's like. Yeah, you know that's my wife and I just kind of left her and and our child and I haven't talked to her in weeks. But then Gene is here and like I have to deal with that. holy Don't put your shit on this six year old. yeah Yes, this is hugely inappropriate.

Speaker: Yeah, but boy, this seems like Scott Summers to me because this is what Professor X did to him, right? He thinks this is appropriate. This is what adults do for children. without The horrors of our lives. God, and Rusty's so fucking mean to Artie.

Speaker: Oh, don't talk to him like that. That's Artie. Asshole. Get out of here. I hate you now. I hope Tower and Frenzy or whatever kill you.

Speaker: At that same moment, Gene is talking to Warren, catching up, but also hoping to get some info about so why Scott has continued to be so weird. Warren tactfully avoids answering any questions and after some laughs is about to reveal something about his feelings to Gene.

Speaker: no Please no, please no. I don't want this. Are we reigniting this? This is the old X-Men we wanted back? The Gene, Scott, Warren love triangle? We didn't want that when it was when it was the old X-Men and now we have to see it again? Jesus Christ.

Speaker: Then the phone rings. It's the only trick Bob Layton has in his bag. Phone rings. Oh, this time the intercom rings. I know. I really, in in this recap, I just simplify it as...

Speaker: as the x-factor alarm but it's really just different forms of communication in the 80s that he's ridiculous yeah i know i keep saying that but these are ridiculous comics like there's there's fun things here but they're just so there's so much to ridicule sure yeah yeah they can't be taken seriously the home run for us yeah anyway the phone on the phone pat it's candy southern ah Candy Southern.

Speaker: She has some business questions to ask Warren, but he tells her to make all the decisions. He's all X Factor now. He's just like, you're in control of the rest of the business. I'm X Factor boy. i know. she is Warren's like, Gene, I just wanted to tell you about these feelings that I've been having. And the phone rings. He picks it up and she's like. It's Candy Southern, your true love. That's when the X Factor alarm goes off. Sorry, Candy, I can't have this conversation with you now. There's another alarm going off. Sorry, alarm, there's an alarm going off. I can't answer your alarm because there's an alarm. Oh, sorry, alarm on the alarm. There's a phone off. They head out to Newton, Massachusetts to meet Hodge's old friend, Headmaster Woodley.

Speaker: Oh, Headmaster Woodley is here. Pat, it's your favorite. didn't even get first name. It's your favorite guy, Headmaster Woodley.

Speaker: Unless his first name is Headmaster. and Which is a cool first name. He had to get a job as a headmaster because... One of the boys at the boarding school he runs is claiming to be a mutant psychic and is actually blackmailing Woodley over an affair he's having with his secretary. He needs it dealt with immediately. This is... Again, if this doesn't turn out to be a lesson learned from everybody about the dangers of... What's happening, this whole thing. Yeah.

Speaker: Making charity into a business is... Like, this is a college friend of their PR director trying to cover up an affair.

Speaker: That's the dirty work that X-Factor is doing right now. Yeah. Yes. X-Factor confront the boy and immediately know he's not psychic. Because if he were, he'd blow their cover immediately.

Speaker: The boy is terrified they're going to kill him, which they use to their advantage to get a confession out of him. He's just... been placing bugs in rooms around the school to scare people because he hates it here and wants to go home everybody's happy with the answer except gene who didn't sign up to terrify children gene you were the one who convinced everybody else to do this that's true again just inconsistent characterizations which bugs me well and No, she didn't convince everybody to form X Factor. She just did convinced the the band to get back together.

Speaker: But she was Warren told her about his idea before he put it into action. He was like, i have a plan. And she's like, that's a great plan. i think I can help you convince everybody. ah yeah yeah but i i don't think the vision was like let's go strong-armed kids yeah admitting they're not mutants that's true but it's she's also she's supposed to be a very smart person anybody could have anyway back at the hq rusty has packed his suitcase and is taking the opportunity to sneak out with the whole team away in massachusetts

Speaker: Artie stops him momentarily, but Rusty rages out at him once more and leaves, you fucking prick. yeah Don't talk to him like that, I swear to God. Artie looks into his mind as he storms away and comes to understand that Rusty is just ashamed of himself and taking it out on him.

Speaker: God, Artie is such a good boy. and the is. They've given him this power that is like... They've given him this powder power and making him make him use it in this way that's like, this is a boy whose primary trait is empathy.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah. he is He is willing to feel what Rusty felt, like that pain, that internal shame.

Speaker: just to understand him better and right try to figure out how he can help the moment somebody's mean to him he's like I gotta figure out why they're really being mean to me I'm getting it i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna let myself go through it oh my god good character good character but when x factor return artie shows them what rusty's been up to okay one more very good thing here yes yeah yeah yeah fucking artie reads rusty's mind and is like i know what i have to do or the narrator says he knows what he has to do yeah yeah the next time we see him he's wearing

Speaker: Hank's old clothes that he used to wear to disguise himself. So nobody knew he was blue and furry. Like, yeah, he recognized those clothes as Hank's like, try to look as much like a human as you can. Clothes put them all on their way. Oversized on it. So they're hanging off of them. But his first instinct was like, let me hide myself just like Hank does.

Speaker: And all go out. all go say a sixty Yeah. My God. I'll do it. I'll take it. This fucking guy. This kid it just immediately is like the best character in the Marvel Universe.

Speaker: On the streets, Rusty was confronted by Frenzy after burning a would-be mugger. This mugger is unbelievable. He's I-don't-go-into-cities type of character. He says this. He says, ah Say, Jim, why don't you show old Chili Dog some presidents? that's that's his opening line and he's white i feel like that's important to point out yeah it somehow feels racist even though he's white yeah yeah it's not it's just that strange frenzy explains she's been looking for him trying to break him out of the x factor building her master is her master huh is very interested in his skills and wants to recruit him

Speaker: When Rusty declines, though, he learns that it wasn't an optional invitation as Frenzy attacks, unfazed by his flames. She doesn't care. She is. Also, she backhands him just like a strong slap to knock him out. And and when she does, it goes, crap.

Speaker: What's the second noise? What's noise one and what's noise two? What's the cur or the wap? One of them doesn't fit. Cur. The cur is the windup. Okay. do yeah When your arm is flying, when you're when you move your arm fast enough, it makes a cur sound as it goes through the air. ah Yeah. Look, when you have as much muscle...

Speaker: As frenzy does bending it like that makes a lot of noise.

Speaker: well

Speaker: So she's unfazed by Rusty's flames, but she is faced by a tumbling Hank McCoy who rolls on rolls into her and throws her off balance as the rest of X-Factor storms in and attacks. Realizing she's outmatched, Frenzy retreats and escapes while X-Factor takes Rusty back to HQ.

Speaker: They apologize for pushing him too hard and for distracting him during his training, but draw the line at calling them all freaks. it's fair. They explain the reason for all this training and the danger of evil mutants and radicalism.

Speaker: Rusty apologizes to Artie and they shake hands as allies. Oh, thank God. Epilogue. I didn't have to kill Rusty. Yeah. Yeah, maybe he's still redeemable.

Speaker: Epilogue. Frenzy reflects on her failure, regretting having to go back and tell her master. But she thinks to herself, he has the source. And without the source, she would not exist.

Speaker: She prepares to return and tell him. The end. Whew. Pat, I don't know what the source is, but I do know who the master is. Do you have any guesses?

Speaker: I do. Just having seen our upcoming episode titles. Fuck. Yeah. This one I was like, okay, I see where this is going. Damn it. Stay tuned.

Speaker: ah um Okay, Matt. Yeah. I got to say. despite all my arguing about consistent versus inconsistent characterization, the plight of Scott Summers, what he would do in one situation or another, we get to the end here.

Speaker: i have to say you're right because Keith Pollard gives Scott Summers the best head of hair in comics.

Speaker: The absolute shittiest haircut I have ever seen. What have you done to the hair of Scott Summers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Batman. He gives him Bobby Drake hair.

Speaker: He gives him Bobby Drake. He gives him like Eminem hair. He looks like scumbag. And his hair doesn't stick up like that. It's like it's thick and curly. He gives him these thin little wisps. i'm so I am mad about this.

Speaker: Pat, that's just, if that's what Scott's hair is in this comic, that's what Scott's scott's hair is. That's canon. Don't be a dick.

Speaker: Again, i just want to I just want to reiterate now that we're through the story. To me, this is the beginning of the post-Professor X era.

Speaker: Okay. This is what happened. So we have all these disciples of Professor X, right? We have the new mutants. We have now X Factor and we have the X-Men and all of them are trying to figure out well when we don't have Professor X anymore to lead us and to direct us and to guide us. How do we follow the principles and the dream of Professor X? Because while...

Speaker: Xavier was a fucking dick. He had a very solid vision for mutant kind. And one that was yeah yeah both simple and complex at the same time. it was a very simple idea, but the nuances of it were complex.

Speaker: People would often think they grasped Xavier's ideals. And then he would say, wait no, you have it kind of wrong. Let me sure push you in the right direction. And this is this is wrong, right? This is the original X-Men.

Speaker: Without Professor X to be like, ah no, no, actually, no, actually, no to all of this. Yeah, they're just doing something stupid. And now we're going to get to see do similar things happen to the X-Men.

Speaker: To the new mutants? Yeah, under the tutelage of Magneto. Yes, exactly. Does something change about them, right? Like, for example, the... Will the two be at odds at some point? The ethos of the new mutants, right, was this is just to train these kids.

Speaker: yeah They are not supposed to be superheroes in any way. Yeah. This is supposed to be a high school that accommodates their mutant powers. Does that keep up with Magneto? I'm not saying one way or another. I'm not even hinting. I'm just asking the question. Does that keep up under Magneto or not?

Speaker: um Or does he militarize them like the like Factor is doing right now? Right. And same with X Factor. Like and Professor X would immediately be like, actually, this is not my dream. I see what you're trying to do, but you're actually stoking the flames of hatred, which. Yes, you're ah you're actively working against my goal. Yeah.

Speaker: I could see how you would think this is kind of like what I did when we you were kids, but it is not your kids. it's actually the opposite. It's the opposite. um And then the X-Men, right? Like the X-Men um have a job to do and they have threats that are facing them. And there's like... very specific rules like xavier had for them you know the world is getting more dangerous for them do they continue to support humankind or do they turn on humankind do they continue to be non-violent or like non well they're always been violent do they continue to refuse to kill people or do they change their mind on that like

Speaker: Right. We already saw them bending the rules while like Xavier was around, too. he He had to remind Rachel not to use her psychic powers in certain ways, right? Right. And how often do you have to do the same for Wolverine? And Storm yeah has been becoming a slightly different person for... Remember what he said to Scott? Give Wolverine a demerit for me.

Speaker: So, like, no one's around to give Wolverine a demerit. He could kill whoever he wants. Yeah. He'll be walking around the halls without a hall pass all day. So, yeah, I think this is going to be, it's going to be an interesting, what, five years or something. Right, that Xavier's gone.

Speaker: If he ever comes back. No, you know, he it's it's it'd be ridiculous for me trying to hide the big secrets from you. fact that he came back. Yeah, because like you've seen him in modern comics.

Speaker: I... i I do think that's fascinating, Matt, on it' maybe be a bit of a more shallow level, though. Clearly, I think there was editorial demand for the the X-Men to handle more monster of the week stuff. Okay. I said up top that somebody thought the X-Men were too woke, which...

Speaker: Could be true, but ah it's like it's it's my best, most concise way of summing up like, oh, they're talking too much. They're trying to get too high minded and political like we just want some fucking X-Men punching guys and and that stuff. And honestly, the way it comes out is feel like.

Speaker: really good Silver Age comics. Like if Claremont hadn't taken over and kind of changed the face of comic books, this is what the X-Men would be. they are They're well-defined and consistent characters. We don't like them compared to the characters that we met before this, but... They act with consistency. They have clear motivations. here Issue one to issue four. They're being consistent is what you're saying. Exactly. Okay. They have very complex stories, even if they're pretty silly. These are like these aren't shows up These are... them like having a reason to do things and then making choices while they do them yeah uh fairly interesting villains the dialogue's not bad especially for silver age stuff and it's weird that's the thing that we're really missing from a lot of the claremont run that like the original x-men was based on it was supposed to be the weird group of superheroes yeah and we're getting pretty weird here so that's that's a thing that i i appreciate about this Yeah, okay, I can see all of that. If this were the Roy Thomas era, we would be peeing our pants with excitement.

Speaker: That's true. I agree with that. It's just interesting that we are going to... It's just interesting that we are... Maybe it's a shame or maybe it's good. I don't know. We'll we'll have to talk about this in 10 episodes or whatever. um But the idea that dumb shithead is putting so much pressure on these guys that this creative team is not going to stay together. Next next issue is our last ah Bob Layton issue.

Speaker: Oh, geez. Okay. ah we'll We'll get an annual from him too, but yeah. Yeah, but he's no longer the regular writer after correct the first five. Thankfully, like Louise Simonson steps in and that'll be interesting. like she's But yeah, that's the end of Bob. like her.

Speaker: He's got an eye out, that you could buy out. If you had time machine that you would like to try out, it's at the old, old.

Speaker: Oh, Matt. Whoa. up It is Pat Steals and Deals. Hey, cool. Pretty abruptly. You didn't even make a joke that time. i don't I don't make jokes on this podcast. I make truths.

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Speaker: ah Yeah. Plus. Yes. Plus the three dollars. Yeah. There's just no, no way. Nope. What if, what if I told you. Please. Two UPC symbols. Okay. So 32 slices of American cheese. Nationally distributed Dorman's cheese.

Speaker: Plus. Individually wrapped. $4.95. Is that? How's that for a deal? How much were was cheese back then? I don't know. The price of cheese in 1985. How much was a package of cheese in 1985? And we are just going to there's no way to turn off the Google AI thing. Right. It's just so I'm just going to I'm just going to go based on that.

Speaker: No, Matt, then we have to disclose that we're using ai on the podcast. All right. all right. I'll skip it. um All right. From Morris County Library in 1985, American Craft Singles, which is close to what this is. We're looking for the per slice price.

Speaker: No, a package. 99 cents. 99 cents for 16 slices of cheese. I don't know how much slices. but that's That's why I said, look it up per slice there. You can't look it up per slice.

Speaker: Why not do the math? It doesn't tell me how many your baskets are in a piece of thing. All right, go to AI. ai AI actually just says the thing that the Morris County Library's thing said. It just pulled it from there.

Speaker: That would say, so with only two UPCs and $4.95, that's saving me two bucks. Yeah, actually. That's a better deal. Yeah.

Speaker: Which probably why they lead with the the six packs. Unless Dormans is particularly cheap cheese, which is all the more reason not to do it.

Speaker: No, my answer is still no. Damn it. Are you doing it? ah That's not what this segment's about, Matt. He's got an eye out, that you could buy out. If you had time machine that you would like to try out.

Speaker: He can steal, steal. All right, everybody. We are thankful to you for showing up and listening to this ah this here podcast. It's a long one because we had a lot to cover.

Speaker: These were long issues. um And ah we had a lot of arguments to have about Scott Summers. So if you liked the if you like the podcast, if you want to um support us, what you can do is tell a friend, tell a family member, tell a loved one, tell a stranger, tell a senator.

Speaker: Call your senators. for Call your senators. Leave a message. Tell them Mutant Menace. Matt Pat sent you. Matt and Pat sent you. Please listen to Mutant Menace podcast. And you can call John Byrne and tell him he doesn't know what the clitoris is and to listen to the Mutant Menace podcast.

Speaker: Episode 72.

Speaker: What else could they do if they want to support us, Matt? Well, you can go to patreon.com slash mutant menace. There's a link in the show notes. you can You can subscribe to us on Patreon for free and you get all ah or you get access to our reading list or you can pay as little as a dollar.

Speaker: if it if we could if If it could be less, we would let it be less. But you can pay as much as you want or as little as a dollar and you get ah bonus episodes. Early release bonus episodes. And some bonus content like outtakes. and we haven't updated it in a while, but we we should get back to it. Puffy Faffin with Matt and Pat. It's just ah it's just us fucking around. You...

Speaker: you Can also follow us on Instagram, Mutant Menace Podcast. Email us to be part of Pat's email corner at mutantmenacepod at gmail.com. Big thanks, as always, to Krils Wilson for the music and to Julia Selle for the voice of Trish Tilby.

Speaker: Which leaves us only with one thing to do, which is to say the outro that we say at the end of every single episode. Patrick? Yes. As always, Matt, why don't you go orally extract embryonic fluid from a hen's egg?

Speaker: And remember, taking off your clothes in my office