Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
442 — Mouths Wide Shut
35 Plays19 days ago
Ty & Eric visit their local Subway to order a disastrous tomato sandwich, measure their footlong, and analyze their seating arrangements. They also discuss Puff Daddy’s wrongdoings, serving sandwiches through a wall hole, why Subway is distancing itself from children, McDonald’s fillet o’ catfishing tactics, prosecuting Only Fans models, bunker busting the bop house, and whether it matters if Epstein’s list exists.
If you’re struggling, consider therapy with our sponsor. Visit https://betterhelp.com/thinkfresh for a discount on your first month of therapy.
-
10% Off Think Fresh Merchandise:
30% Off Zencastr Pro:
Follow Us on Instagram:
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Sandwich Adventures
00:00:50
Think Fresh
back Is that a big old belch from you, Eric? Big old belch because Ty and I just crushed a cumulative, what, 18 inches of sandwich? Actually more than that because we we measured Eric's foot long today.
00:01:06
Think Fresh
ah pause So you think it's mostly a footlong sandwich. We're talking about
The Great Footlong Debate
00:01:14
Think Fresh
sandwiches, just to be clear. here This is a sandwich-themed podcast for the first-time listeners. We should a plot takes, dry humor, the occasional crisis.
00:01:22
Think Fresh
And we did encounter a couple today. Oh dude, multiple crises handled, I would just say. We handled it, everything is okay. Yeah, Ty was monitoring the situation. But yeah, Ty, we measured my footlong today and it came in at a whopping 12.5 inches. 12.5 inches, this is crazy. That's crazy. Is ah nature healing, Ty?
00:01:43
Think Fresh
I think that like everything is shrink flating, but the bread is bloated. The big, beautiful bread is even bigger than before. Whoa, and I'm feeling bloated, brother. Oh yeah, belch.
00:01:55
Think Fresh
Yeah, this is crazy. Whenever I get the chance to use the the measure app on my phone, One, I'm like, this is amazing technology. I can't believe that everyone has this in their pocket.
00:02:06
Think Fresh
And then when I use it practically, I just feel so smart.
App Accuracy and Anecdotes
00:02:10
Think Fresh
It makes me feel smart. And so that's what I did. I took the measure app on my iPhone and I went edge to edge on Eric's footy and it clocked 12 and a half.
00:02:19
Think Fresh
That's right crazy. We measured twice, eight once. That's true. You know what? I don't really trust the measurement app. I'll be real honest. But the... The footlong itself looked like it was 13 inches, dude. it It was fucking massive. Yeah. When it popped out of the packaging, yeah we both looked at it like that's a heavy baby. Yeah. Like when I took a photo of it, I had to put a and NSFW warning on there because like that thing was fucking huge. And I think the measurement app is being conservative. Like, I don't know if it's like able to tell like that accurately, to be honest. Like, how could it be so accurate? You're just taking a
Tomato Sandwich Trials
00:02:54
Think Fresh
photo of it.
00:02:54
Think Fresh
Well, I think, yeah, it's true. It doesn't make any sense how it should work. And the only like practical use of it other than confirming your subway order is like when girls like use it on a guy at the bar to make sure he's not lying about his height.
00:03:05
Think Fresh
Right. And when it's conservative there, that's problematic too. Yeah, true. Yeah, we can't be using a measurement app in real life, life or death, life or death situations. Facts.
00:03:17
Think Fresh
But yeah, dude, as soon as I pulled that thing out, it looked like the bigger, it looked like bigger than your standard sandwich. Yeah, dude, you slapped that on the table. It was like, womp. We both just stared down at that. Yeah.
00:03:29
Think Fresh
Thick thing. Yeah, totally. had to use two hands eat that thing. Yeah, that BMT was ah pretty thick. I'm surprised. I had a late early lunch today, so I couldn't handle ah foot long.
00:03:40
Think Fresh
I normally can for the first time listeners. That's typically what I do. This is abnormal of me to eat six inches of sandwich. I ain't no wuss. Yeah, that's right. I actually ended up, well, we're recording this in the afternoon. i skipped lunch today, so this is my lunch. You needed all 13 then. They probably pulled that extra big piece out of the back for you when they saw you salivating.
00:03:59
Think Fresh
Big boy's ah up next. We gotta gotta a bless them. But yeah, Ty i got the six inch. And do you want to just like explain yourself? Yeah. Well, what did you get and why? What's this?
00:04:10
Think Fresh
What's to explain? Okay. Eric and I made a fantastic, very simple sandwich a few episodes ago. It was a cucumber sandwich. The only ingredient was, you guessed it, cucumber.
00:04:23
Think Fresh
So I wanted to replicate the success today with tomato, a six inch tomato sandwich. That's it. Tomato exclusively. Well, little cheese, little sauce.
00:04:33
Think Fresh
Yeah. I had that thing toasted. i gotta say, Eric, the creation of the sandwich was not very fun. My sandwich artist did not want to work with me on this thing. did She did not understand the vision. do She didn't understand the vision. She didn't understand the English.
00:04:49
Think Fresh
She didn't understand appetites. There was she clocked out immediately after finishing her sub. So I think that kind of speaks
Constructive Criticism on Sandwich Making
00:04:57
Think Fresh
for itself. That's true. She wrapped it up, but cashed me out and then walked out the door. Yeah, I was the last inch of the day for her.
00:05:04
Think Fresh
She's like, you know what I've had enough inches today. So I guess I can't blame her. I empathize with the frontline workers, but I just wish she like gave it a little more because this sandwich had the potential to be good and it came out mids.
00:05:16
Think Fresh
Mm hmm. So in for inch, who do you think is taking down more inches, Bonnie Blue or ah average subway employee? That's a great question. In 24 hours? It's hard to say. Yeah. Because we're working with a thousand clocks for Bonnie Blue, right? what's What's the average size there?
Fast Food Trends and TikTok Influence
00:05:33
Think Fresh
Sixer? i think Chad will have the answer that. I'm googling that on this computer. but Okay. Yeah, that computer cannot be used for this type of inquiry. But let's I've heard it be as low as five inches. That is the male average around world. I can't even fathom that.
00:05:49
Think Fresh
So let's easy math, right? Five times a thousand is 5,000. yeah We've probably tried to do this math before about how many sandwiches come through those doors in front of us. any any Any wild guesses?
00:05:59
Think Fresh
I've got to say that we're talking at least 10,000 inches a day. Wow. Dude, these this chains are popping off. Not ours, though. We'll get into that later.
Subway's State of Affairs
00:06:09
Think Fresh
Yes, yes. There's something going there's something strange going on in Subway that we must dive into. But like before that, we've got it we gotta to finish talking about this tomato sandwich. A very gradual degradation of our local Subway.
00:06:20
Think Fresh
Anyways, go ahead. So I only wanted an oil sauce on my um my tomato sandwich. Like I thought, okay, a little skip of mayo would be nice, little cream and then a little bit of oil too, right? you want to oil that shit down, playboy. Exactly. want oil that shit down, free Italiano style, like a Sardinian lunch.
00:06:38
Think Fresh
um So ah the girl, she starts to like thickly mayo at my sub. It's called light mayo, but she was pretty heavy with it today.
00:06:49
Think Fresh
And then she sends the other artist in the back to get me my my garlic oil. But he comes out with garlic aioli. and And before I can even say, like, step back, don't get spunk on the think, he like charges on my sandwich and just squirts a whole bunch of garlic aioli on it.
00:07:09
Think Fresh
And for the unindoctrinated garlic aioli is just mayo. It's the same thing. It's no different. So I got double mayo and he almost went in with mayo on top too. He was, he was dual wielding two cream based.
00:07:23
Think Fresh
Yeah. And, uh, but the other lady already put mayo on. Yeah. so he was about to do it, do it to him. Everyone was like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Even her. So I appreciate that. If you, if you got triple mayo back it, I think that's enough reasons of restarting.
00:07:35
Think Fresh
Yeah, 100%. At triple mayo, that's a wash, dude. Yeah. Put that in the bin. Because, Ty, you got the tomato and cheese, which in theory is really great. I want to try it as well. But I have some feedback for you.
00:07:46
Think Fresh
Okay, keep me some feedback. I don't think you executed it. And I don't think it's totally your fault. um I think you know you kind of got a little lackathaisical with it. And you allowed sandwich artist to fuck up your meal. ah It's not my fault. It's not your fault. Well, it is.
00:08:01
Think Fresh
it was It's the fault of all group projects. It's just a lack of stepping in. know what mean? Assertion, yeah. Yeah, you should have been more direct, I think. But I'll explain to you what I think happened.
00:08:13
Think Fresh
Okay. She did cheese on one side, tomato on the other. I think you should have gone tomato first and then layer and cheese on top, maybe a mozzarella or just even the plain cheese.
00:08:24
Think Fresh
And then... ah through some basically threw all of your shit on there except for mayo and then toasted it. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I So there was a layering problem there.
00:08:36
Think Fresh
kept all the ingredients separated. The cheese melted onto the bread, but the tomato didn't get touched. And I did feel like there was something wrong with the tomato today. they just It didn't have that crunch after it was toasted. It just kind of melted.
00:08:47
Think Fresh
who That sounds pretty good. Yeah, you'd think. you think but Not in this case. No, dude. um As we have a nice gentlell gentle sprinkling of rain on the car here, that's a nice ambiance for guys. Yeah.
00:08:59
Think Fresh
I also got extra tomato my sub. Oh, you did? I didn't catch that. yeah yeah I did. I was reading from my own sandwich. You were sitting by yourself. I was so sad. um But in solidarity, I also got some extra tomato. Was she a bit more generous with it? Because when I ordered my tomato, I had to ask like three or four times to get enough tomato on my sandwich. Yeah.
00:09:17
Think Fresh
You even said, I'm only getting tomatoes, so load her up. Yeah. And put three slices on. Dude, that was crazy. Like, I thought she was taunting me. One, two, three. You good? No. but I can still see bread. Yeah. i don't want to see my sandwich anymore.
00:09:32
Think Fresh
knew that so sorry sandwich would disappear. You know what it is, dude? It's these TikTok trends are ruining the act of just being innocently creative in fast food. Because you've got these meta glass wearing bozos walking in, quadruple toasting the sandwich and loading up exclusively with black olives. And every sandwich artist has seen that in their algo.
00:09:51
Think Fresh
And now they're very, very conscientious of it So when I come in, only asking for tomato, they ain't playing. Yeah, there's a big group chat with um all of the sandwich artists and they're like, holy fuck, you see this? ah Oh, wow, this is amazing. we got some We got some background noise. Hold on, hold on. Hold on here.
00:10:13
Think Fresh
All right, we're back. Sorry about that. That's okay, that's okay. Ty, where do we leave off? Tomato sandwich, getting screwed over on the line. You got extra tomato out of solidarity. I appreciate that. I am an ally.
00:10:27
Think Fresh
You are an ally. Yeah, what else? did you Did you at least like it? like how did you How did you feel about the taste? Did it come even close to the cucumber? Not even close. The cucumber is a 10 out of 10 home run sandwich. like i would show I would introduce that sandwich to my family. Like a real dime.
00:10:45
Think Fresh
It's a real wifey material kind of sandwich. it's like You know what you're getting. It's never going to be bad. yeah i mean You're never not going to get sick from it ever. It's just cucumber. like There's nothing to get sick from. it's consistent you could spend every day with it but the tomato sandwich was a bit more of a fling i felt at least the one today was a little sloppy so i would come back to it at a weak moment second it's a good second lunch i'll say that it's a good second lunch it's a side lunch it's a side lunch yeah um yeah you're not wrong uh in theory i would love to try it out next time i think next time we'll split up the long i think everyone should try it yeah i think we gotta like
00:11:21
Think Fresh
Do some kind of, I don't
Seating and Customer Experience
00:11:23
Think Fresh
know, debrief. I guess this is our debrief. But we're going to talk more about how we're going to make our sandwiches better with tomato. And we'll do that next time. so We will. We'll iterate. And we will we will do the work for the bread heads.
00:11:35
Think Fresh
Not every result is going to be as good as the cucumber. But it doesn't mean we stop trying. That's true. It's true. Because something about fortune favoring the brave. So, okay, our sandwich artist immediately clocked out after our order. Yeah, we watched them backpack on, jacket on, walk out the door. Yeah, she practically, I mean, she practically had like one of her jacket sleeves on when she was making my sandwich.
00:12:01
Think Fresh
She was, yeah, not having it. But then ah it made me notice that like, This whole location is kind of in shambles if you think about it. Like the whole seating area at the beginning of the of the store is like a huge mess.
00:12:15
Think Fresh
There's like chairs that aren't assigned to tables. It's kind floating chairs. A lot of floaters today. Yeah. Tables that are not aligned. They're kind of like. in like a weird pattern that doesn't make any sense. I also noticed their sauces are all in the back.
00:12:31
Think Fresh
Like once is fine, but like, are you always cleaning it when we're there or like what's going on? Like why are all the sauces in the back? They're perpetually closing down. It feels like. Yeah. Yeah.
00:12:42
Think Fresh
There's just a long close. I have noticed that every time we visit this subway location here in the downtown East side, there's less chips available either. Like, ah like front of house. Yeah. They're all like, they're not that many over the counter chips.
00:12:58
Think Fresh
You know, you have to ask the pharmacist to get the good chips now. Yeah. They're not restocking like on an hourly basis or restocking like biweekly basis. Exactly. There's no more like cups in the cup holder. I don't even know where they're storing them. Oh yeah. They're all, there's no cups at all.
00:13:13
Think Fresh
There's no napkins anywhere. There's no napkins. You got up for napkins and there was, you just kind of did a lap and you came back. Yeah. Yeah. You're looking around like Larry David. Like, where the fuck do I go? Damn, I kind of felt like Larry in that moment.
00:13:26
Think Fresh
Oh, geez. But the ey the chairs and the tables, something's wrong here. Like they're strewn about like what I imagine the living area in an old folks home be like. Yeah.
00:13:36
Think Fresh
It's like the, it's like the big ah Vancouver earthquake hit and now there's shit everywhere. Yeah. It's kind of like there was ah an apocalyptic event and the place was abandoned for eight months.
00:13:49
Think Fresh
It hasn't like nature hasn't come back yet, but like a few like, people have gone through kind of salvaged what they could from there. That's okay. Eric is a very busy man. We're getting lot spam here, Ty. Locking in our next guest.
00:14:06
Think Fresh
Yeah. Phones are ringing off the hook. I think Fresh Industries. That's a fact. Working on our next big sponsor. Yeah. In the meantime, shout out to BetterHelp, the sponsor of this episode.
00:14:17
Think Fresh
Yeah. i think we need a suicide hotline that's a brilliant fresh bread heads anyways ty um yeah i don't know what's going on there but i also went to a different subway location last week and it was the same situation on the floor really complete mad like you know when like a big department store like shuts down and they're like selling the the racks and the mannequins there's mannequins like missing limbs yeah it's just chaos in there that's what this subway felt like too yeah it was just a bunch of like leather armchairs sitting
Subway’s Branding Challenges Post-Scandal
00:14:45
Think Fresh
around and a few bar stools but there's no tables there was maybe one coffee table in the whole place so i don't know if they had optimized it for like the elderly to come for their coffee break or they just want to encourage the homeless to sleep there i don't really get it there's no way that you could eat a sandwich on these chairs
00:15:04
Think Fresh
Wow, that's crazy. I mean, even in this location, like, it just feels like they don't really want you to hang out there. They don't. It feels like when you get a Tim Hortons and like a rundown part of town or something, there's no seating at all.
00:15:18
Think Fresh
You know, and it's like ah just a grab and go. if If that was a case, why don't they just make like a takeout window kind of like they do with those Italian wine holes in the wall? The mouth hole.
00:15:30
Think Fresh
Yeah, the literally a hole in the wall for like someone just reaches out with like a glass of Pinot. You know, you've seen those? Oh, yeah, dude. I've patroned them. patroned Amongst Florence. Yeah, they're kind of like when you yeah you see them on Instagram and you're like, oh, yeah, a cute ah hole in the wall wine. Yeah. But it's not like that. The restaurant's right next the door and you go and you buy it and then you wait for to come through the hole.
00:15:50
Think Fresh
You can like see the hole from the other end. The whole thing's a sham. Oh, OK. Maybe there's some authentic ones, but they're not in the like... not going to find the authentic ones like a block from sacra core or anything right i see okay so I think this is actually an interesting idea for a subway.
00:16:07
Think Fresh
yeah Clearly they don't want us to hang out in there. You what mean? We sat down and they they never checked in. They never said, how are the first few bites? ah um Can I top up your milk? Yeah, that's right. I did get milk.
00:16:22
Think Fresh
But yeah, they ah they never really check up on you. So why don't they just have a little kind of like subway tunnel? uh in the wall and then have like this have the footlong kind of just shoot out of there wow a little glory hole for your 13 inch sandwich yeah totally i love that i think it's great uh I imagine there's a secret password in order to get different ingredients, like knock three times for spinach.
00:16:47
Think Fresh
Yes, exactly. That sounds easy to use. Yeah, you're using Morse code. Totally. Yeah, I mean, at this point, that's all Subway really needs to be. It's just a hole in the wall, literally, like a PVC pipe that a sandwich just troops through and out into your hands.
00:17:03
Think Fresh
Yeah. I mean, they clearly don't want anyone in there. the employees don't even want to be in there. Mm-hmm. Um, I actually think like, you know, who this really harms Eric, the children, ah not the glory wall concept, but just the lack of third spaces to loiter in these days. Like as a teenager, I would spend so much time in subway hanging out. course. And not only do, are they eliminating the seating, but the children, they're priced out of subway too.
00:17:34
Think Fresh
Like those footlongs are like $17. Yeah. How are you supposed to get that when you when you're delivering pizza or babysitting? Those signature subs are a damn ripoff, Ty. They're a damn ripoff.
00:17:46
Think Fresh
was able to save a few coins by getting a BMT. So I got a combo, right? BMT full-on. I came out to $17, which is yeah like for lunch, not the end of the world, but like...
00:18:00
Think Fresh
For a Subway sandwich, I just kind of feel taken advantage of, to be honest. You have been taking advantage of, my friend. And dude, like the BMT is actually one of them relative to the other sandwiches, an entry level option at this point. In Biden's America, like ah inflation hasn't touched that yet.
00:18:19
Think Fresh
definitely not ah fuck well i'll never be straying away from old reliable ever again because those other ones are you know if i'm getting a combo i'm i'm reaching 25 i think 25 for like what like the mystery brisket yeah the the brisket or the the peri peri paradise or whatever the fuck it is yeah you're right Yeah, I don't know. I would never touch that with a 13-inch pole.
00:18:42
Think Fresh
Damn. Dude, i feel yeah I feel bad for the kids. They'll never get to try the peri-peri chicken. They can't even afford the sweet onion chicken jockey at this point. oh Dude, they need the chicken jockey need chicken jockey footlong. Subway doesn't even care about the kids. They would have made the sweet onion chicken jockey if they cared about the kids.
00:19:00
Think Fresh
Ever since Vogel stopped caring about the kids, Subway's like, we don't either. Oh, fuck. Yeah, they disses themselves from children. Neither of them are allowed near the kids these days. Wow. you think that's actually a real thing that happened?
00:19:12
Think Fresh
Like, they're like, okay, we can't have the kids pack anymore. They don't have a kids pack. You're right. Well, maybe they do. They got rid of it. soon as, fucking, what's his name? Jared was sentenced.
00:19:23
Think Fresh
They got rid of the kids pack, dude. It's probably in their best interest to yeah disassociate completely from the youth. Absolutely. It's too bad, though. they They're not they're a whole generation growing up not knowing the BMT era because they'll never be exposed. It's a bad choice of words to it.
00:19:40
Think Fresh
It's just a mysterious acronym hidden on the menu. no ones Everyone's so introverted, they don't even want to ask what it means. No. I'm just going to avoid it.
Legal Drama: Puff Daddy and Epstein
00:19:50
Think Fresh
They'll stick to ah the words on the menu. They understand like pizza. So that's what I did.
00:19:55
Think Fresh
Speaking of committing sexual atrocities, Ty. coming What a segue. Puff Daddy is innocent. Thoughts? I can't believe that he's going to walk.
00:20:08
Think Fresh
I mean, okay, to to clarify, maybe I'll pull up the Grand Wizard post on this. yeah, yeah, good call. But he was found not guilty on several charges.
00:20:19
Think Fresh
And guilty on a couple, but I think he got away with more than he did, you know? You think so? Well, I don't and don't know anything. if You can trust that the jury made the right call.
00:20:31
Think Fresh
Yeah, I would trust it as well. As I pull this up, it's going to take a while. Do you think you think Sean Jimmy John is fully innocent?
00:20:43
Think Fresh
I think so. Yeah, you think he is a allowed to walk? He did no harm to... He didn't traffic nobody. So he... Okay, so there was five different charges played on him.
00:20:55
Think Fresh
The Rico charge was the big one. He's not found not guilty. No Rico. Trafficking of Cassie. Oh, yeah. I think guilty.
00:21:06
Think Fresh
Guilty. But couldn't you argue that like it was just like a couple's trip? Like that was seems like the easiest one to, to get away with, you know? It's like, we all have to pay for our girl's flight at one point. Yeah. I bought so many flights from a girl. Are you trapping her to the Maldives or what? If I'm trafficking her, then all bus drivers are traffickers.
00:21:27
Think Fresh
that one I'm sitting in traffic. Am I a trafficker? Okay. Hold on. let me find the actual list. I feel like I need to do my due diligence. I'm going pause. Okay. Okay. Okay, we're so back.
00:21:37
Think Fresh
Count one, racketeering, not guilty. Count two, trafficking at Cassie, not guilty. Count three, transportation to engage in prostitution related to Cassie, guilty. Okay, so they're not using... That's different than trafficking.
00:21:51
Think Fresh
Yeah, so transportation is different from trafficking, apparently. Okay, okay. This is why I'm not a lawyer. Okay. Holy shit. No, me neither. Trafficking of Jane.
00:22:02
Think Fresh
i think that's a Jane Doe who is revealed to be 50 cents baby mama, actually. No way. Not guilty. Transportation to engage in prostitution related to Jane. Guilty.
00:22:13
Think Fresh
Okay, so he's guilty of transportation. That's right. Aren't we all? Yes. All commuters. We all have to contribute to the greenhouse gases at some point. Right in the subway.
00:22:25
Think Fresh
Yeah. But it's crazy. So I don't know what the sentencing will look like for those charges. I'm not sure if, like, prostitution is, like, that serious i don't really know what it is relative to you what protect our sex workers you know i mean i yeah believe in the equal rights for all all frontline workers if we're gonna uh villainize prostitution then we gotta villainize the only fans girls too it's the same thing ty yeah it is that's true someone shut like put a swat raid on the bop house
00:22:56
Think Fresh
ah Drop one of those bunker busters on the box. um Oh, fuck, dude. That's really funny. It's crazy. Yeah, so we'll see what happens with Diddy, but do you think he'll just get time served and then get released?
00:23:09
Think Fresh
I don't think the Diddy story's over, dude. Hell no. No, there's no way. This guy seems like a vengeful dude, and I think he's going to have a lot of enemies to... deal with when he comes out. Oh, the slammer, you know?
00:23:21
Think Fresh
Yeah, we might see some disappearances once Diddy is released. I wonder if King Combs is going to be doing some business on his behalf, too. Oh, shit. He's got, like, he's got boys on the outside. Yeah. He dropped an album with Kanye. I know. It's crazy. I haven't heard it yet.
00:23:35
Think Fresh
Me neither. don't think anyone has. does it Questioning whether it even exists. Interesting. So Diddy is free. The Epstein's list was deleted.
00:23:46
Think Fresh
This is like a really great work for people like... accused of sex crimes wow yeah they really beat the allegations this week for sure wow so yeah the epstein list is it because trump is allegedly on it that that is that why it was deleted let's be real we were never gonna see this list there's too many powerful people on it We also know he did some weird shit, so he's still president.
00:24:08
Think Fresh
They still like his ass. what difference does it make if it's released? True. The truth doesn't really matter. like Honestly, like whatever's on that list probably isn't even as good as and our collective imagination of whatever the hell...
00:24:21
Think Fresh
happened whatever academics posted today is most interesting thing yeah exactly just gotta because it's fact i think and it's happening unfolding right in front of us everything he posts is plausible that's true right now this list is simply speculation totally um kind of like the signature sandwich menu we've never ordered anything off we don't know if it's even they can even make it it's just speculation until you get the brisket If a sandwich is ever made, does it exist, Ty?
00:24:48
Think Fresh
It doesn't. It's just a ah collective. It's just the only person that it exists to is the graphic designer that made the menu. Yeah, totally. exists in some Photoshop files. Exactly.
00:25:00
Think Fresh
It's not a sandwich. That's a PSD file. It's a JPEG. That's crazy, dude. Like, it's just a JPEG until you bring it to life. Mm-hmm.
00:25:11
Think Fresh
And like when you bring to life, it never looks like the JPEG. No, it doesn't. It's made in its image. That's why. Like you can't replicate it. It's honestly, it's at best a parody of this perfect JPEG.
00:25:26
Think Fresh
There's got to be some disclaimers around the menu being like actual results may vary. Totally. You know, because like otherwise that's false marketing or whatever the term is like. it It's misleading. Like I'm not getting that yeah not sandwich. I'm getting ah piece of shit. are You think like the team version of whatever that is?
00:25:43
Think Fresh
Yeah, totally. But like, think about it. Like, let's say you plunk the Mona Lisa down in front of you and a stranger and you have to work with that stranger who you've never met or shared words
McDonald's Perception Experiment
00:25:52
Think Fresh
with. I try to repaint the Mona Lisa.
00:25:55
Think Fresh
You have all the right paint colors. But do you have the talent? Do you know the process? If the stranger is marketing themselves as a Mona Lisa artist, then I would expect some level of competency. You'd think that they could kind of handle it on their own and you're just there for flavor. Yeah, like don't call yourself a sandwich artist if you're not going to make the sandwich the way it's supposed to be.
00:26:14
Think Fresh
Yeah, that's true. If you're just a stranger, then I wouldn't even ask you to do it. I think we blame ourselves too much for our our failures, particularly my tomato sub today. I'm beating those allegations. Not guilty.
00:26:27
Think Fresh
Not guilty. Not guilty. Ty, I got one interesting news story for you before we wrap here. saw this uh ad maybe of ah a mcdonald's marketing tactic that they used at one point okay which was they basically they wanted to tackle the stigma of mcdonald's head-on lot of stigma with mcdonald's they said the only reason you you ain't eating mcdonald's because it's mcdonald's otherwise you would be eating it because you love it So everyone loves McDonald's. It's there's just, they don't like the idea of McDonald's. Exactly. They hate it conceptually. Gotcha. um
00:27:05
Think Fresh
So what McDonald's did was they opened a fake burger restaurant and served the exact same burgers at this place. So they, they served McDonald's, but it was behind the facade tie. It was just a fake little cheeky little burger joint. That wasn't anything to do with McDonald's from a branding perspective, except for the food. Food was exact same.
00:27:23
Think Fresh
Yeah. watchcha And the hypothesis here was proven in correct, Ty, that people, in fact, love McDonald's. No way. So you walk into, like, David's Burger Shack.
00:27:34
Think Fresh
Yeah. Sit down. Big Mac. big are they Big Dave comes out, they call it. you Let me get a Dave's way. Yeah, get a Dave's way. ah You see that three pieces of bun. And you don't clock that this is suspiciously similar to the many, many Big Macs you've seen or eaten throughout your life.
00:27:52
Think Fresh
Yeah, I mean, you got a great point there, oh And people are like, after two bites, they're like, this is the best burger I've ever had. yeah work I can't believe I can't get this everywhere.
00:28:06
Think Fresh
That's insane. That's really funny. Yeah, I don't know what it is, Ty, but... Maybe they were in on it the whole time. They're like, this really stupid and I'm going to play along. Yeah, maybe. This is the best burger I've ever had. No, but it makes sense. Like to reconttect defamiliarize and recontextualize a burger, like allows you to kind of appreciate it again. you have no bias with that burger. You get to really try and taste it.
00:28:26
Think Fresh
Yeah, even if you're aware of what's happening and you have the wool pull of your eyes here, like you're still like, it forces you to still to reevaluate what you're eating. And you're not like just thinking about all the forever chemicals. You know, you're just looking at that fish fillet for the first time again.
00:28:42
Think Fresh
Damn, that fish fillet is looking mighty fine tonight. Yeah, we all remember our first fish fillet. Yeah. Well, I think as a like defense mechanism, your body starts shutting down the senses once they smell fast food or they like see the familiar drive through lights.
00:28:59
Think Fresh
um And that prevents you from really experiencing it fully. And I think in this scenario, you get your like mouth wide open, baby. no Nostrils wide open. You know, you're really taking it in again.
00:29:11
Think Fresh
hmm. Yeah, you're totally taking it it again. And doing doing so with a smile on your face. Yeah, yeah. I don't think this could work for Subway because it's there's too many iconic tells.
00:29:25
Think Fresh
Like if you walked into a regular sandwich restaurant, a deli, and it smelled like Subway bread, that would be so triggering. You'd be like a Vietnam vet, you know? You would have a thousand yard stare at the sandwich artist. Exactly.
00:29:37
Think Fresh
You're so right, though. Like scent, if anything, a stronger indicator of memory. You know, like, you know, when you try on an old perfume, it brings you right back to when you were wearing that every day, you know? Yeah, you' like I dressed worse back then.
00:29:50
Think Fresh
Yeah, exactly. Or you smell some, some chick wearing a Marc Jacobs Daisy Love and then it brings you all the way back to when you, You had that one thing with that one girl that got away. Damn, I miss my wife. but That Subway's got that I miss my wife's smell.
00:30:07
Think Fresh
That Subway got that. Oh, everything makes me think of her. Yeah. Cheese. Cheese. The cheese makes me think of her. It's not just the smell, dude. Like, you go into a deli and they, like, you order your sandwich and they just, like, plop down a foot-long sandwich on a plate in front of you.
00:30:26
Think Fresh
Yeah. Like, I don't think you can, I don't think you could dress that thing up. It's as iconic as the Big Mac. It is maybe even more iconic. It's the only sandwich I can think of that advocates for its length like that.
00:30:37
Think Fresh
It's true. Um, the Big Mac and the Footlong, they both have like a, like novel use of grain in order to make it iconic. It's not really about the content.
00:30:48
Think Fresh
It's about the format in both cases. You're talking the herbs and cheese specifically. I'm talking about the like ah sandwich the long way. Okay. Whereas like the Big Mac is sandwich with the tall way.
00:31:00
Think Fresh
I see its use of bread. is It's an innovative use of it. Yes. It's probably trademarked. Probably, actually. No one else put more bun in there. So I think that's, I think if you're a fast food restaurant that listens to this podcast, small chance, that's what
Innovations in Fast Food Bread
00:31:17
Think Fresh
you're going have to do. If you want to like really resonate with consumers is you need to take bread and freak it into some sort of weird novel thing.
00:31:25
Think Fresh
Give it a catchy name. You're cooking. And it could be bread, but it also could be anything that's like you expect to be one way. And then you just kind of turn on its head. Right. It's like no one expects there to be a third slice of bread.
00:31:38
Think Fresh
Right. surprise or for it to be 12 inches in length 12 and a in our case you know like i think grain is the safe one though because those are two like blue chip examples but if you go into like the wendy's square patty weird freaky no one wants it look at the rb's that's awesome because you get the corners first but I don't want to eat the corners. I love the corners. You don't want to eat any when you're vegetarian.
00:32:03
Think Fresh
But another good example is the pepperoni cups versus the slices. The cups are amazing. You ever get some pepperoni cups? Yeah. Okay. I understand the cups because the cups are actually, they offer a functional benefit, which is it holds in a bunch of oil and grease. Yeah. So each bite is just popping.
00:32:20
Think Fresh
I call those the Nick Jonas pepperonis instead of the Joe Jonas
Conclusion and Closing Remarks
00:32:23
Think Fresh
ones. That's right. Right. Extra big. Pick a or tough.
00:32:28
Think Fresh
Oh, fuck. All right, Ty. Any other closing thoughts on McDonald's today? I think we best be going. you should go. Breadheads, thank you for listening. talk to you later. chow