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302: Major League Cricket (MLC) Team Metalness | Metal Sports
2 Plays5 months ago
Assessing the metalness of the teams of Major League Cricket. #cricket #metalpodcast #sports
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Transcript
Introduction and Tim's Enthusiasm for Cricket
00:00:00
Speaker
Tonight on Podcasting Down we talk about the metalness of the major league cricket teams.
00:00:13
Speaker
You want to do the rest of the intro, too, Matt? Hail, Metal Nation. I'm Tim from Burning Shadows, US power metal band, and also Fade to Black authentic Metallica covers, and Eisenmoor true Icelandic steel, or whatever it's called. um And this is Podcast I'm Down, the podcast where we enjoy three things, heavy metal music, Star Trek, the original series, i and sports. And so speaking of sports, ah today we're going to talk about possibly the best sport of all that I, Tim, have ever seen, and that is the game of cricket.
Meet the Co-Hosts and Episode Preparation
00:00:49
Speaker
And I would like to introduce my co-hosts. Tonight we have ah Doug, ah live from the Dougosphere, and of course, my asshole of a brother, Matt. to Matt, introduce yourself. Hi. I'm Matt.
00:01:05
Speaker
all right so I feel bad for anyone who, this is their first show. Go on, here go on. Here's the episode that I have prepared for us today. Tim is doing a great job, Matt. Thank you, Doug. I am. ah
00:01:23
Speaker
All right. but Matt, Matt. What are you doing here? um You know, even though I've prepared this whole episode there, Matt, why don't you explain to us ah just because if if you do ah the explanation, even our most dim-witted of listeners will get it, as the dim-wittedest of us. Well, wait. Well, first, after I opened my invisible beverage, Oh, that's good audio. Also, I'm glad you're going to explain it because I have to eat this cake. Why do you have cake? yeah What the hell is going on? Check my AC on this sweltering Baltimore day. What is happening? OK, so you should probably be watching the video. slo I'll take you are eating cake. And then I guess Doug's checking is just actually left.
00:02:21
Speaker
You phased into the door there. All right.
Objective Rating of Sports Teams' Metalness
00:02:24
Speaker
All right. All right. All right. All right. So we are in the process of taking every metal. No, every sports league and I'm back taking each team in each league, rating their metalness. And that way we can have an objective scientific comparison across sports, across leagues for what the most metal teams are. So in this latest installment, we are looking at major league cricket. Now this is based in the U S. Um, all right. You got that Tim stuff in your mouth full of cake. It's called the MLC because I, I met him explaining what is happening.
00:03:10
Speaker
Well, you are the biggest cricket fan, so
Explaining Cricket to Americans
00:03:13
Speaker
that makes sense. I suppose I am. So let me ask you, whose name is Tim, what ah what do we know about how they play major league cricket? Because aren't cricket games like three days long or whatever? but right Now, I should say that as me, Tim, ah you know, I should say that my cricket knowledge is a little shaky, um but there's two kinds of crickets. um One is called limited overs and one is called unlimited overs. Which one over takes longer? So ah an over is basically a pitch. If you think about it in baseball, um you only have X number of pitches.
00:03:59
Speaker
And that's the limited overs. So I imagine that Major League Cricket almost necessarily ah would have to be a limited overs style cricket. which we have Which is relatively recent, 10, 20 years, and has really helped the popularity of the game. It's called 2020 cricket. Right. so So basically that's the number of Overs right and so there's an innings. It's very okay. There's two innings Right now. It's always plural ah for some reason but there's one innings and then another innings and Those innings are restricted to a maximum of 20 overs So basically this means that one team goes up they get 20 pitches um And you score the points you get the outs you can be um out
00:04:57
Speaker
various ways. We don't need to get into all the mechanics of cricket because we'll be here for all fucking night. um But basically, if you get out or if you reach your 20th pitch, the innings is over and then the next team um has 20 Pitches and or outs so this should make a game that's roughly like I don't know two hours two and a half hours ah Something that's enjoyable and digestible in American audience rather than you know test cricket or something which could theoretically last many many days
00:05:35
Speaker
Alright, so the ah the the cricket teams in Major League Cricket all have cities attached to them, okay? However, the yeah they play in those cities, right? The dedicated cricket arenas. They play ah in Grand Prairie, Texas and Morrisville, North Carolina. Oh, dear. Morrisville, north carolina does't ah North Carolina doesn't have a team. So what do the cities have to do with anything? But we will be taking their cities into account. Now, all all the teams do have um a planned cricket stadium. dd But right now, because it's a brand new league. So anyway,
00:06:26
Speaker
Enough background.
Analyzing Major League Cricket Teams' Metalness
00:06:27
Speaker
Let us dive right it in with the first team, the Los Angeles Knight Riders. What? h u oh What? All right. I'm already. ah Well, don't clear your throat into the mic, Tim. I'm sorry. I'm new with this. Uh, shouldn't see, shouldn't NBC, uh, be suing the fuck out of them? Oh, my writer. There's a K there. It's a K in the original ah show.
00:07:04
Speaker
Is it? Yeah, because his name is Michael Knight. ah and And that's the kit, right? Because kit the K and kit is the Knight Intelligent Taxi Train or something. ah Kit Industries, is is he he's like Batman, Michael Knight, played by David Hasselhoff. So this is a clear, and it's l LA, they should know better. It's not like it's the Kipsey New York. Well, they don't play in LA. Nobody's noticed.
00:07:36
Speaker
right
00:07:39
Speaker
They're just from l LA. Right. Okay. Maybe. Maybe. Well, they appear to be named after the Kolkata Knight Riders. The Kolkata Knight? Yeah. like like Like India? Yeah. It's owned by the same people. Okay. Well, hmm. Oh, all right. George Romero movie called Knight Rider. Hmm. I don't know, but we could go ahead and throw some scores at this. Wow, that um they they have the exact same fucking logo. Yeah. you know super There's a possibility that we might be able to also score the Indian Premier League of Cricket while we score Major League Cricket here. Well, how many teams are there?
00:08:28
Speaker
is probably no, no, that's a separate, that's going to be a separate, uh, episode. There's 10 teams. Yeah, but that's, that's, it's going to be a separate episode. You might, uh, uh, uh, uh, what's the word peripherally score some of these teams. You know, I Matt have a hard time with some, uh, vocabulary sometimes. yeah you know matt ah You know, Matt, we should point out um that ah one of the inspirations of this episode is the fact that the United States best country beat the fuck out of Pakistan and known ah cricket powerhouse in the World Cup recently, um depending on when this episode goes up, either very recently or not recently at all. ah But within this calendar year, probably. um So we would like to thank Team USA um for for fucking shit up.
00:09:25
Speaker
Okay, so let's talk about this. So night riders that would that be a night who is riding or one who rides a night because those are two different metalness categories. I don't think it's metal to ride a night, but a night upon a steed. Right. You know, that's very power metal there. um The Los Angeles is, you know, I think that detracts from its metalness. You know, all the glam bands, you know, that's a major penalty right there. I like the the night helmet on top of the logo, but it looks like it's. um um It looks like it is a flame, you know, yeah, is that
00:10:10
Speaker
ah uh, adornments, it's fucking fire. So, and then it's all around the shield. And then the color reminds me of the Ravens, which is the most metal football team as we, as we discussed. So I'm going to open up the scoring with a very strong. Seven out of ten Okay. Now now here's why you're absolutely wrong number one. This is literally the call cut the night writers like logo colors The only thing that's different is instead of Los Angeles. It says call cut that way around This is you got that backwards there Tim. I don't sweat details. I'm an engineer ah anyway, so ah um What I'm saying is Two-point deduction for originality. um I was going to compliment them on staying within a broader Los Angeles um sports color scheme, but that turns out to be just a coincidence. Yeah, that's lucky. So, minus two points for being luckily lazy. But they aren't the clipper colors at all. What are you talking about? So, I'm going to have to... That's another one.
00:11:29
Speaker
I mean, I do like the the flaming crown. um and it's so It's a four. I'll give it a four. um But just like I do with the Minnesota wild, I reserve the right to deduct more points later. I'm also going to go with the seven, but totally different rationale. I appreciate the copy paste as a grand tradition in sports for doing that. And so it's a seven. Any direct copy paste, I give a seven. I would like to add that it's more efficient that way. All right, Tim, you look perplexed. It's almost like you know what the next team is. Yeah.
00:12:14
Speaker
Oh, no I guess I jumped ahead. Yeah, you did jump ahead because I am i am very perplexed at this PowerPoint that I've bared. Well, somehow I don't have an entry for this one. I must have been out of my mind when I made this. Oh, no. No, no, no, it's fine. It's fine. It's fine. But, you know, I met often screw things up, as you know. It's true. but All right, next is the San Francisco Unicorns. um
00:12:46
Speaker
hu There is a very specific flavor of Power Metal. It's once again Power Metal. I don't know why ah the Cricket League is so ah firmly rooted in Power Metal, at least the first two teams, but Unicorns, Epic Fantasy, It's metal, but it's getting, it's, it's, uh, thin, you know, it's, it's getting thick, but I do want to congratulate them on how they actually managed to make a badass unicorn logo here. I mean, that, that corn is sharp as fuck. And I like the triangle eye. Yeah. Wasn't kind of the contemporary, my little pony vibe.
00:13:34
Speaker
yeah at all it It does have a bronyish flavor to it. I think you're right. I was hoping that word would never be said on this podcast, but you know, uh, I also like the, the color scheme is this like orange kind of like. ah leaning towards creamsicle but nowhere near all the way there with this light blue and together they hurt to look at. And I appreciate that. I do too. This is more metal than the Night Riders. Oh, a thousand percent. It it looks like ah looks like a sinister brand of orange juice. Yeah. that's So I'm going to throw a nine at this. And San Francisco is ah basically a
00:14:21
Speaker
you know, with all the retail vacancies and the rampant crime, you know, it's, it's basically a dystopian thrash metal album. So it is it's everything about this is metal with a treasure Island right in the center where the brave dwell now on leg devil. See that's, I don't want to get content match by running wild, please. Yeah, it's, it's a nine. Uh, I liked the little, uh, serif on the on the sans serif uh yeah they grow that is very nice like they're just a little acts they knock this out of the park this is very good and hopefully uh they will get to their park uh at the santa clara county fairgrounds one of these days um but um i will i'm not up on my i'm matt i'm not up on my california geography um that's the san jose how far is santa clara ah county
00:15:19
Speaker
Is that the next county? I mean, it's in the Bay area. Doesn't narrow it down. All right. I talked over your score. What's your score? I also gave it a nine also because ah my child, at least one of them is a big fan of unicorns. Oh no, they both are. Oh yeah. I mean, both of them are.
00:15:43
Speaker
All right. Well, let's hope I have the next one. God, what am I doing? I, Matt, am really disorganized today. This is just what engineers do. No, I'm the engineer. He's the historian. Yeah, this is what historians do. Blah, blah, blah. No detail. It's analysis.
00:16:09
Speaker
This historian I met and will introduce the next one. All right. Which is M.I. New York. So M.I. Yeah, this is a problem. Stands for Mumbai Indians, New York. And at first I thought that's OK. It's weird. It's weird. It's, but I was like Mumbai Indians, China sounds weird, but then you have the New York Americans, you have the Montreal Canadians, you know, um, you have the Canucks. So I think it works out fine, but, but slapping another city on top of your, your name and country or a large group. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, this is all sorts of weird.
00:17:00
Speaker
Right. And, you know, clearly it's it's just like the Night Riders. It's owned by the Mumbai Indians. and Which is owned itself by Reliance Industries, ah one of India's largest conglomerates. Its businesses include energy, petrochemicals, natural gas, retail, entertainment, telecom, mass media, and textiles. So it's like, it's basically just money laundering at this point. It's a shell company of a shell company of a shell company. Well, and I'm bothered because it's going to be a cyclone in India. Right. That's a hurricane out here. So it doesn't work. OK. Yeah.
00:17:40
Speaker
Hmm, that is very true. Now, there is another um Indian IPL cricket team. We're not going to rank them yet, um but they are also from Maharashtra and they are called the Rising Puna Supergiant. I feel like the New York Supergiant is a much more dynamic team ah than the New York Mumbai Indians. First of all, there's too many place names in there. um
00:18:09
Speaker
I just i know can't tell that they also had a very low resolution logo. So this is all this is all corporate. It's try hard. It's not try hard at the same time. This is metal core. This is what it is. okay Yeah, they're just like we can make a quick buck by shitting this out. So this is a one for me.
00:18:37
Speaker
Now, I, Tim, a capable researcher that I am, can tell you that that they are not the only Mumbai Indians expansion team, question mark. So there are also Mumbai Indians Cape Town and Mumbai Indian Emirates. Um, so we can't put all of our, um, blame on the New York franchise. Cause this is just clearly, uh, I guess the good people of the reliance corporation have much more, uh, better things to do than just name teams. Um, but they are very lazy. This is a two. Um, and that's probably being generous. Don't sue me, Tim. This is, this is challenging because there's so much.
00:19:25
Speaker
that's triggering like not one, but there are there are two gradients going. that that that this is fair There might even be three. I think there's a gradient in New York. I think there's a gradient on the MI and a gradient on the cyclone. Yeah, and then the multiple places, the corporatiness. But I don't know. You know, it's so affronting and contradictory. I'm just giving it a four and walking away. Okay. Probably safe. All right. Next up is that not, not in order of my spreadsheet, the Seattle orcas. What is what? Okay. So this, this logo is amazing. So what is right it looks like a children's cartoon show.
00:20:19
Speaker
Right, threatening you'm goingnna now a yeah right it it looks like an adult swim show the styled to be a kid's show. So it's it's got one red angry eye. He's wearing a crown for some reason. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, he's holding a cricket bat. He looks like ah he looks like he thinks you owe him money. You know, I almost forgot that this was a cricket team. I just thought it was ah a fucking mean ass orca. Come to break your knees.
00:20:52
Speaker
Well, is it? huh I might be. ah I don't have anything to say except this is a 10. Every sports team, regardless of name or location, should just be called the Seattle Orcas and use this logo. It will destroy all records, um but I'm fine with that. This is everything I want to see. Why does it have a crown? Don't know. Isn't that obstructing its blowhole? Probably. ah Maybe that's why he's so angry.
00:21:28
Speaker
but so Is that a score? Yeah, 10. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Oh, I'm muted. Yeah. It's also 10. You know, the implied violence, ah the the way the ah Seattle and Orcas, the font choices and all are contradictory to the message the Orca is sending. the The orca being a violent animal to begin with. Yeah, it's just a 10. The colors are brilliant. Everything is perfect. Now, there's some graphic design rule where you never, ever, ever have one part of your typeface be all caps and then the other part be cap minuscule. I mean, this is just like breaking every law of graphic design right now.
00:22:13
Speaker
Well, and then you got the shadowing on orcas and it looks like Seattle is a good, like far away. Yeah. Well, maybe that's honesty since they play in Redmond and this is played Texas. This is not a metal. Yes. It's an affront to all the senses. Uh, but this guy's a bro, you know, this is no, this sucks. Uh, it's, it's poorly done. He's trying to be tough, but he's not. And he's probably going to lecture you about, um, you know, being straight edge. No, this is a five. You don't go after the King Tim. Yeah. ah I don't know what you're telling me that. I mean, that asshole loves the King, but we're not there yet.
00:23:02
Speaker
ah please be the Please be the Chicago Popes. Please be the Chicago Popes. Next up is Washington Freedom. oh ah he This is a nice retro kind of bicentennial font. I like that. I like the acknowledgement that DC is just full of phalluses. And so let's let's add another one. Well, no, no, no, that's a cricket bat, I think. so yeah like ah yeah i was like What building is that supposed to be? And then I realized it can be two things. Um, isn't there already a Washington freedom?
00:23:42
Speaker
Probably been like 12. I know there's a Washington, uh, Washington spirit and missed it. Hmm. I'm sure it was one of the names floated for the the football team. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's a fucking soccer team. Oh, but it got dissolved. Is American professional soccer club based in Germantown, Maryland? Okay. All right. Nevermind. That's foosball.
00:24:11
Speaker
I like the detail on the cricket ball and the Oh and freedom cause it's got the the stitching on it. I don't particularly like the font here, though, like the ease, the ease look like they're, for lack of a better word, i the ease look like sex perverts, like there's something with civious and voyeuristic. Doesn't look like the we logo is not like that the jeans company, you know, yeah, there is there is a little bit of that. ah But generally, I just
00:24:45
Speaker
There's something uneasy about about this type type case. um The M looks a little too rounded. ah Probably the E's are leering at the the the very buxom curves of this M. um so yeah The Washington Capitals colors though. Yeah, I think that's true. I guess they're on on brand. I do like how how the blue can't make up its mind what color it is. I do like that too. Is like is it is a black? Kind of. Is it blue? Yes, mostly. That's good. and And it's kind of fun and a little informal. It's like everything Washington is not or or people think Washington is not.
00:25:35
Speaker
And, uh, you know, they don't play in Washington, so makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, true. I think they're going to play a George Mason when they play. So, you know, there's there's some, you know, Germantown soccer plaques. That was the other freedom.
00:25:56
Speaker
Do we take points away because that freedom became the magic jack, one word, ah capital J, lower KCM. No, that's fixed ah that's for the spirit. That's for WMLS. yeah Yeah, the only sports team in Maryland that can have a jack and it is them, Baltimore skipjacks. That's a good point too. That is a different episode. Just checking in. This is Ballmer Matt.
00:26:30
Speaker
palmber met ah I'll give this a five. It's it's it's fine. you know as As someone who grew up in Washington, um but as soon as he like got north of Route 32, pretended he was from Baltimore his whole life, um I'm uneasy about Washington teams. I think you've always identified with ah Baltimore Tim because Tim is in the middle of the word Baltimore, so you've always loved it. Well, I just remember that they called me the DC boy, I think. so that was Wasn't that me, Matt? Oh, wait. but that was I'm confused now. You're confusing me with my brother. I can't believe I'm so narcissistic that I i identified with a city just because my name was in it. All right.
00:27:24
Speaker
I actually like how it doesn't, I guess the phallus you could argue, but the the d DC teams kind of slip into fascist imagery. Yeah. like Like the capitals. ah with with There's a screaming eagle. Yeah. Yeah. Or the, whatever the hell the reds, I mean that that other team are. Anyway, ah this is a six. It doesn't do that. And it kind of evokes the bicentennial 76. Well, yeah, since you bring that up, there if you told me that, uh, you know, the Washington freedom was a basketball team from the early seventies and then moved to Philadelphia to become the Philadelphia freedom. And then in 76, he got renamed to the 76ers. I wouldn't believe you based entirely on this logo. This is an ABA team. Uh, now why does have a cricket bat in it? Don't know, but this is clearly an ABA team. Yeah. So, uh,
00:28:26
Speaker
I don't know. It's too clean. No, there's no character. It's it's four. All right. Last one. Holy shit. Super King. Oh, my God. Well, the super king. Wow. and Looks like a convenience store brand. It does. I got to stop by the super king. Yeah. It's probably also the name of the premium gasoline. this All right. So the text line, things it says.
00:28:57
Speaker
Texas real small for a change. And then, uh, bigger than that, it says super with a star in the middle of the P and then it says Kings even bigger. And the outline of the bottom of Kings, uh, makes up the shoulder of the lion that's surrounding it. And that lion has some sharp fucking teeth and a very This might be like a neck goiter or something. I don't think this, I don't think this is a healthy lion. If you really think about how a lion's body is shaped and where this super king is, unless it's going like, rah. Well, I don't think it's really conforming to its body or anything, which is pretty metal. It's just, ah fuck you, we're going this way.
00:29:45
Speaker
Now I should point out that much like the Night Riders and the Mumbai Indians, this is just the Chennai Super Kings logo with Texas ah instead of it, instead of Chennai. There's also a Johannesburg or Joburg Super Kings. So again, um they're just trying to rebrand some merch. Maybe old Chennai Super Kings are trying to sell some shirts. ah but Sometimes it's the right time and place for a name. And I think they found it. This is that time. Uh, yeah, it's a 10 easily. Now I would remind you, Doug, that I, Tim, um, personally don't like it when they use a ah state, uh, when a city, uh, is preferred for a sports team, but somehow with Texas, since that's the only place that any of these teams seem to play, I'm okay with it. Yeah, I would concur.
00:30:45
Speaker
So what's your number? Uh, I will, uh, I can't go to 10. Um, a super King is bigger than a King. Um, so I will have to add one point to whatever I gave the Kings. I believe I gave them an eight. So this is a nine. All right. Well, I'm not going that high. This is a seven. i the The lion is facing away from everyone. Now I know you're going to give this a seven, but what if I told you that one of the owners of this team is Ross Perot Jr. Oh, six. Well, all right. ah been my challenge So let's say you take the lion away. Okay. Then you got a tiara over the Texas and you have a little star there. What's a stock?
00:31:41
Speaker
That's the super king to me. yeah There's a lot of curves in this that's not very metal. I mean, it's pointy and it hurts. I mean, I enjoy logos that could not stand on their own. Like it needs to be supported by this lion's shoulder. Cause if you put, lay it on the floor, like it's a topple over yeah and that TR is going to come tink tinking down um the side of the stack. It's like the logo, you, the Kings anyway, that you have on your independently released album. And you can afford a graphic designer and that and fire, Doug. Hey, I did the one that's used. Okay. Sure. I didn't, how much metal is there about lions? Here's how much metal is there about a super King? Here's all I can think of.
00:32:34
Speaker
is when butt head said the James Hetfield looks like the cowardly lion. I mean, that was pretty good. Um, uh, lions, lions from the North by Sabaton. Okay. But they're not from the North. They're from Texas. Fuck them. You know what? I'm going to go all the way down to a four. The more I look at this, the the more stupid it is. Matt is out of control. Yeah.
00:33:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'm well, no, they're not as bad as the Washington freedom. So I'll lower the freedom to three to keep the Texas Super Kings out of four. You heard me. All right.
Final Team Rankings and Conclusion
00:33:15
Speaker
OK, that's fair. I mean, not here, but that's what you're doing so. but Would you like me to read you the rankings then? I would. in fact all right way hold As a matter of fact, I would. oh All right. Following into a shameful last place at number six in the, what is this? The the major league cricket in the United States, the 2020
00:33:43
Speaker
A league and ah with a score of 2.3 is the Mumbai Indians, New York. Am I New York? Okay. All their gradients and nonsense. That's fair. I think coming in fifth, uh, with the score of 4.6, six, six, seven is the Washington freedom. Ooh. Okay. All right. and four they'd be with a score of 6.0 is the Los Angeles Knight Riders. Huh. All right, three with a score of 7.6667 is the Texas Super Kings.
00:34:27
Speaker
Next up is the, uh, uh, score is eight point three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, et cetera. The Seattle orcas and with a score of nine point zero, the most metal major league cricket team is the San Francisco unicorns. All right, Tim, this is where you do the outro. Oh, um all right, everyone. That's the end of the episode. Stay tuned for more metal fun here on PyChasm Down. God bless and good night.
00:35:10
Speaker
I think like we fooled them. I don't think I've ever said that. God bless. i trying everything that's your famous That's your famous tagline. no