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106 – Erik Gray: Human Sex Trafficking Survivor and Victim Advocate
33 Plays4 days ago
This week, Sam shares the story of Erik Gray, a survivor of human sex trafficking who has transformed his experiences into a mission of advocacy, education, and support for other victims.
Through Erik's story, this episode explores the realities of human trafficking, the vulnerabilities that traffickers exploit, and the long road to recovery faced by survivors. It also highlights the unique challenges faced by LGBTQ+ individuals, who are disproportionately represented among trafficking victims and often face additional barriers to receiving help and support.
This is a difficult but important story about survival, resilience, and the power of turning personal tragedy into a force for change.
If you or someone you know may be experiencing human trafficking, help is available through the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888 or by texting 233733 (BEFREE).
Visit us on Linktree for the collection of links, Instagram, or email us at jeffandsamshow@gmail.com.
Sources
- Human Trafficking Victims: An LGBTQ+ Perspective
https://collectiveliberty.org/human-trafficking-victims-lgbtq-perspective/ - LGBTQ+ Human Trafficking Survivor Stories
https://theexodusroad.com/lgbtq-human-trafficking-survivor-stories/ - NOW Seattle Trafficking Film Series
https://www.nowseattle.org/full-trafficking-film-series - YouTube Interview / Presentation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym0oZWqgC68 - Polaris Project – Vulnerabilities and Recruitment
https://polarisproject.org/vulnerabilities-and-recruitment/
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Transcript
Family Birthdays in June
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, Sam. Hi, Jeff.
00:00:24
Speaker
Okay, welcome to the Jeff and Sam show. I'm Jeff. And I'm Sam. whoops Happy June again. we love this month. Jeff told his really powerful story last week, and this week um we're keeping it going.
00:00:39
Speaker
What date does this come out on? 11th. June 11th. Oh, it's my um Uncle Lane's birthday. Oh. Jai and... Did I meet that one?
00:00:50
Speaker
No. Jai and Hawaii you met. His birthday is the 12th. Tomorrow. feel like I should know if there's birthdays coming Bunch of June babies.
00:01:02
Speaker
Bunch of little Gemini's running around. Did already say this is the Jeff and Sam show? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. um Oh, and it's Alicia's birthday on the 13th.
00:01:13
Speaker
And Jamie's birthday on the eighth that's right. It is indeed. Lots of birthdays.
Podcast Introduction
00:01:21
Speaker
It is. um So yeah, we're a true crime history comedy podcast. We're something. Something to that effect. And cheers, queers. Cheers, queers. What you drinking?
00:01:33
Speaker
High noon. Bubbly. With a mustache. A tall boy. hu High noon. It's a tall, tall boy. High noon. I thought you deserved that. There's no other way. So what's going on? What's going What's new?
00:01:46
Speaker
What's
Sam's Reaction to Crash Documentary
00:01:47
Speaker
new? um So you know how he told me that I had to watch the crash? Yeah. I watched it. How do you feel about it?
00:01:59
Speaker
My first bullet point on my sticky note just says, eek! Hated it. So... It was like a train wreck. So I've seen bad car accidents, right?
00:02:12
Speaker
um In fact, there was one just the other day. to all those those people. But the car in this one, whoa.
00:02:25
Speaker
I mean, she hit that building to a and doing 100 miles per hour. Watching those videos and like hearing Davion's dad
00:02:37
Speaker
And it was no it was Dom's dad and sister like talk about the sound, about how it sounded like a missile. Like that, like it really fucking did. That's insane. um Many, many, many.
00:02:56
Speaker
bullet points in this, I said, i want to punch her in the face. Oh, I want to punch her in the face again. She absolutely, absolutely spoiled little shit. um So there's that part where they point out that, like, they start the show where they're like, oh, young love, and they build it up, right? And then all of a sudden they're talking about how Mackenzie is a bully and a mean girl and a pothead and disrespectful and all of these things. and you're like, wow, that took a turn. Because, again, they start it and they talk about this horrible tragedy of these two kids that had fallen in love and been together for years and her friends are at first talking about her and they're like, it was the most amazing, they were the best couple and it was great. And then all all of a sudden they're like, no, she was a shit bag. yeah She is, she's a shit stain. They still did a good job at keeping, like, the fact that she was a shit bag did not explain the accident. You couldn't quite understand what happened in the accident. I mean, like,
00:04:05
Speaker
you until you got the black box back in car. Well, so about that, I guess I have to ask, like, so the lawyer, I think, is who was talking about this. um
00:04:22
Speaker
At one point he says, as he's um reviewing all of the data from that, the car goes into neutral, back into drive, into neutral, back into drive, like a few times. and then I think it was just one time. No, it was a few times. And then the steering wheel kind of like jerked a few times. And at that point he said, like I think this could best be described as Dom and Davion were trying to fight for control of the car.
00:04:51
Speaker
And i mean, there is no other explanation for that, right? Because her trying to claim that this was... Medical. Let me tell you, there are a handful of things that I feel very, very, very strongly about in the medical profession in terms of diagnoses.
00:05:13
Speaker
And the one that she used is one of the ones. And so the moment they fucking said that, I wanted to flip the TV. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, no.
00:05:26
Speaker
No. You aren't gonna have a fucking blackout episode related to that while you're driving your car. And, comma.
00:05:37
Speaker
Your foot's not gonna go all the way down. Your foot, if you syncopize... Your body goes lax. It's not like you're having a seizure and your body's tensing. So what was it they said she had that caused it?
00:05:51
Speaker
Pots. Yeah. It's like your blood pressure will drop. If you, like, stand up or something like that. If you're sitting in a car, it's just not going to drop for shits and giggles. No. And, I mean...
00:06:07
Speaker
It was just one of those things where, like, as soon as they said that, I was like, get the fuck out of here. Get out of here. But, like, okay, so she turned right. She had her blinker on. It was, like, a good turn. It was a slow, controlled turn.
00:06:20
Speaker
And then I think she just had a hissy fit. Yeah. And hit the accelerator. Well, because you look at... the other evidence, right? Like Dom was done with her shit.
00:06:34
Speaker
Like as perfect as she in her interview and as perfect as her, listen, her friend Rosie also deserves to get punched in the throat because get out of here.
00:06:45
Speaker
The recordings of Dom talking to her and her on the other side of the door, she's a fucking spoiled psycho. She thought she deserved something and he wasn't going to give it to her.
00:06:58
Speaker
He was ready to be done with her, but he was also up and coming. He was making, he was only what, 20, 21? 20. And he was making so much money and he would have done very well for himself.
00:07:11
Speaker
She didn't want to let that go. He was ready to move on and he was like, this isn't really for me anymore. You're kind of crazy. But nobody knew this about her until they were all in court. Until art and so even Dom's sister and dad and dad are sitting beside Mackenzie's parents in the courtroom. To support her. When they learn about who she is and then when they see the crash. Because they hadn't seen the crash until they're sitting in court beside her parents. And they thought it was drugs related or something like that. But like...
00:07:49
Speaker
And then i think they the i think the thing that really got me was how this has this has become
00:08:01
Speaker
everybody's like pet project, right? Is all of these YouTubers are posting videos, all these influencers are posting videos about how I can't believe they used her TikTok um to paint this picture of her.
00:08:17
Speaker
but she did a really good job of painting the picture for herself too. And a lot of the the background information about her was not from the one post that was whatever catchy song that was.
00:08:29
Speaker
it It was about her being a disrespectful child entitled in school, at her classes, mistreating her teachers, mistreating her classmates, mistreating siblings of classmates. Like,
00:08:45
Speaker
She was not a good person. She was not an angel. She was not a sweet, innocent child. And the parents helped her with that. Her parents get fucked. I, I, no. Her dad, and it was like when he said that she got kicked out of school or like suspended from school. Oh my God. And he was like, I walked in and she's sitting there sobbing hysterically. And I walk up to my daughter and I asked, did you do it? And she said, no. He said, okay, that's good enough for me. Okay.
00:09:13
Speaker
i but I know my daughter. yeah That's not going to – I would have been beat. um I was beat. My parents would like, nope, your teacher said that you did this. I'm not going to believe you over what your teacher said because
00:09:28
Speaker
teachers don't just target kids like that. But, like, the whole social media thing – her afterwards, three months after. Oh my God, it's so insane. And maybe the the idea of like her dressing up as a corpse, like sure, she got it from something. after the crash, she and after she found out she was gonna go to trial, right?
00:09:50
Speaker
No, so it was before she got arrested. So she got arrested in November. in October for Halloween. She dressed as the court. She and her friends, but they dressed, it was ah it was some artist that I don't know. And they were like, that's what his stage makeup is. And that's totally fine. However, again, sensitivity, being a decent human, being not a shit bag. The year before, that would have been fine. but Absolutely. But your your boyfriend, you were driving a car in which your boyfriend and his best friend
00:10:25
Speaker
Both died horrifically.
00:10:30
Speaker
Even if you didn't have anything to do with it, and it was just a tragic accident, have a little bit of sensitivity. She thought she was going to not pay any consequences. She thought there was going to be no no repercussions for, i think you're right, her hissy fit, her bad behavior, and the choices that she made.
00:10:52
Speaker
And what, she's up for parole. hell. bla She just gives me the skeeves. And then the fact that she was interviewed for the show or the movie with her lawyer. And at one point she's like, did I do it okay? Did I say all the right things? on it? looked off the camera. She looked to her right off the camera at her lawyer said, did I do everything right? Did I say, am I good? Something like that. Did I cover all of it? And then like,
00:11:23
Speaker
In the interview, again, she was detached and she was really script reading. I wanna make sure that everyone understands that there was no intent. There was no intent. This was not intentional.
00:11:36
Speaker
And like her parents are like they' combating it, right? And they're compiling their own evidence. And it's one of those he said, she said, right? Because you have Dom's story of what he told his mom.
Eric Gray's Story of Survival and Advocacy
00:11:53
Speaker
and what his mom testified under oath in court, and what Dom's friend dom's mom's friend also told police.
00:12:04
Speaker
But she also had the video. The video of her accident. Of Dom with the phone in his hand, and she's on the outside of his door, and she's banging on it, you piece of fucking shit, or whatever she said, open fucking door. She's horrible stuff. Like, it's his house. Yeah.
00:12:18
Speaker
You contribute nothing to this. He's handling it so well For a 20 year old. Because what is it? The moment you start overreacting, raising your voice, people shut down and they stop listening to you. So he in the right with his mom there as witness was like, this is this is who she is.
00:12:44
Speaker
And he's afraid of her. Like he doesn't, he, oh, that poor boy. And then Davion just kind of caught up in it. His parents were... His sister. They were great.
00:12:56
Speaker
And that's the thing, right? Is that like... The intent, like her knowing that Dom was going to break it off and that he didn't want to be with her anymore and her previously saying and making threats and being erratic in the car, like...
00:13:12
Speaker
he he was clearly whatever her intention was. It was, whether it was to kill or harm, whatever, like, if I can't have you, no one can. But, like, why did Davion have to be in the car? right You know, he had nothing to do with this.
00:13:31
Speaker
Just a bad story all around. Ugh, ick. She's in prison until 2037. Ugh. Fucking Potts. yeah fuck Do you think she'll get paroled? it but I mean, that's so stupid, Potts.
00:13:43
Speaker
I hope she doesn't, but. But who knows what could happen between now and then. If she comes out. you might do a TED talk from prison. Yes. Talk about how she's so reformed and she's changed. That's happened before. They don't make evil people. Yeah. They make people who make bad decisions.
00:14:00
Speaker
I think she was just a person who never saw any consequence for any of her actions. That's it. i don't know if she was necessarily evil. I just think she never saw any consequences for her parents. Come on, people. She's a poorly behaved toddler. Yeah, that's it. And she was never expected to do anything. She was never... no one demanded that she be accountable for anything. And again, Davion's dad, like he said it right. He was like, you know, I don't, I don't know if she'll get out. I don't know. But the thing is, is that the worst thing that can happen to her is that she spends the next few years, next 15 years in jail, being told by her parents that she did nothing wrong and that this is all okay. And then if she gets out, like,
00:14:48
Speaker
If she hasn't changed at all, it's she's going to be just as bad a person as she was p prior. And he was like, I hope she changes. What do you think would happen if she just come out and said, well, this is why we crashed.
00:15:01
Speaker
I did what I did. if she just told the truth. She never will because she's hoping that her parents are going play the pity card and see this sweet, innocent little girl who lost the love of her life.
00:15:12
Speaker
Yep. I think it's all bullshit. She will never do it. That was the update on the crash. Glad you watched it. yeah She's a shitbag. Horrible person. Shitbag. And you're right Not evil. Just a shitbag. Yep. Not evil. No consequences. Nope. um Have you ever watched the My Worst Ex Ever? No.
00:15:34
Speaker
On Netflix? Please watch it. Is it a reality? No. You know, it's I only watch one and they just said that they were canceling the re... Oh, no. I don't want to talk about it. um Watch it. It's on Netflix. ah One of the episodes is called dick Dating the Deadpool Killer. I want you to watch it.
00:15:58
Speaker
I want you to watch it so badly because... Worst what Yeah. Okay. okay just Just what the fuck? Is it a movie or Show. show it's ah It's a documentary. like It's episodes about different worst exes. But the one that I watched.
00:16:14
Speaker
Oh, dear God. It's got the guy in it that has tattooed his whole face. Correct. So that's the episode that I want you to watch. The Deadpool Killer? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Just, there's so many things to talk about in that. Kenna thought Wade was the perfect man. Yeah.
00:16:32
Speaker
But life with her handsome boyfriend gets real ugly when his erratic behavior escalates into horrifying rampage. I've heard his story before. Have you now? Yeah, I know his story.
00:16:43
Speaker
ah why don't you Have you ever seen the people involved in it before? Probably. I've seen it like a year ago. i read watched something about his story. Yeah.
00:16:54
Speaker
I've never heard her perspective on it, though. Well, it's an interesting one. ah Stacey. Stacey, Stacey, Stacey, Stacey.
00:17:06
Speaker
Thank you for just everything that you do. I mean, from the little, was going to say little droppings. put that Thank you for your little droppings, Stacey. Thank you. But no, the little things that you do that you know that Jeff and I are ah fan of or like or whatever. She the best. Yeah, and just always so thoughtful and like just there, you know?
00:17:32
Speaker
Stacy bought this. She had this at home. She was cleaning out her stuff, and she's like, Jeff will like this book. It's Frankenstein, and it's an addition with like There is illustrations. No, not just illustrations.
00:17:48
Speaker
This actually, at one point, there's a map in here. You can unfold it, and it's a map of like where the monster went. I do love interactive books. Yes. It's so it's beautiful. The illustrations are amazing.
00:18:02
Speaker
This is the part with the map, though.
00:18:06
Speaker
You unfold it and it's worth everywhere. Frankenstein and the monster went. love Yes. Stacy, you're incredible. Well now, Frankenstein is the monster in the end. yeah Oh, absolutely.
00:18:19
Speaker
ah Your heart just breaks so much for the monster. Not Frankenstein. You hate Frankenstein. His creature. But what you love the most... hey Is my girl Mary? Mary Shelley, baby.
00:18:33
Speaker
What a lady. Y'all should go back and listen to that episode if you've never heard it. The story that I did about Mary Shelley and how she came up with the idea to write Frankenstein. So good. I mean, everyone knows like just that one little bit, right? Yeah.
00:18:47
Speaker
The cold mountain home. Oh, my God. Geneva. On Lake Geneva. Which, by the way, love it. Can't wait to go back. Be there in a few weeks. To Geneva? Oh. Well, I mean, I'll be in Switzerland, so. Can't go to without being in Geneva. It's one of favorite places. so beautiful. it's i like Geneva and the the surrounding lake towns so much. And that's where they have that eternal spring.
00:19:12
Speaker
So. Well, all right. On that note. There's only maybe a handful of places that are nicer than Switzerland.
00:19:26
Speaker
Just a handful.
00:19:28
Speaker
And we're going to be in one real soon. Oh, okay. I didn't we were with that. We're going to be in one real soon. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. 12th of grand. i don't I don't even know when this date is that this will come out. The 11th. We're leaving in a few days. Yeah. It's all in the future.
00:19:46
Speaker
um So on that opposite note, um this...
00:19:54
Speaker
is kind of an icky. It's not really a story. There is a story in it, but there's a lot of painful and very hard to hear truths that need to be told. So I'm just going to dive into it.
00:20:09
Speaker
Statistics regarding human trafficking are shaky. People of color and unhoused people make up a significant percentage of trafficking victims. Unfortunately, 40% of all unhoused youths are a part of the LGBTQ plus community. Wow. 40%. That number is startling to some, but to others, it kind of makes sense because... you know, when a child or a teenager says, hey, mom and dad, I'm gay, or I identify differently than what you have known as my parents, um as we know, some families don't take that so great.
00:20:49
Speaker
um So they reject the child, and they say, you know, you identify as queer, and that's any flavor of the rainbow across the entire spectrum. I'm gonna kind of use queer as the all-encompassing here, because...
00:21:04
Speaker
Alphabet soup kind of makes my tongue twisted, so I'm just going to say queer. um So they are kicked out of their homes and they're left to survive on their own. And there hasn't really been an updated report recently. So the the most accurate recent one that I could find was nearly 10 years ago, 14% of trafficking victims identified as being part of the queer community.
00:21:31
Speaker
knowingly, they the researchers realize that that is incredibly a low end of what they actually expect to the numbers to be because um when someone from the ah teen or youth, a young adult, whatever, is kicked out of their home and they have to figure out how to survive,
00:21:56
Speaker
they are taken advantage of and unquote survival sex becomes the only way that they can get things that they need shelter, food, water, being clean. So, um, yeah. So 14% is very, very much not believed to be the actual number. Um, it's disturbing and heartbreaking and that's,
00:22:24
Speaker
um a lack of reporting by many who are too scared or too ashamed to come forward, that's what really alters those statistics. And then for numerous reasons, the queer victims are the target of discriminatory legislation and policing, still to this day. Like, there is legislation in states that to remain unnamed that allows law enforcement officers to stop anyone that they believe...
00:22:53
Speaker
is a part of the queer community, transgender individuals. Um, so let's say you're driving down a road that is known for maybe not being the greatest. There's homeless people or unhoused people, whatever. And you see someone who from your perspective, you look at them and you go, oh, well, that's very clearly someone who identifies as a different gender that they were born as. So I am legally allowed to stop that person and arrest them because we just automatically are allowed to assume that they are selling themselves for sexual favors. oh
00:23:38
Speaker
That legislation still exists, by the way. Yeah. So it's... based off of absurd system biases that believe that youth and adults in our community, the LGBTQ community, are voluntarily involved in the sex trade simply because of the sexual orientation or gender. So just because we're part of this community, we love to be trafficked. Why not?
00:24:05
Speaker
It's not actually trafficking because we want it right? yeah That's insane.
00:24:12
Speaker
the studies indicate that 99% of trafficking survivors suffer from at least one significant physical health problem resulting from their exploitation and 98 suffer from a severe and lasting mental health problem.
00:24:25
Speaker
Also not surprising statistics. One of the most significant barriers to victims receiving the proper care for their physical or mental health is that they don't believe they deserve it. Sarah Potter works, um,
00:24:38
Speaker
to assist in like nutritional and exercise rehabilitation for vulnerable populations in Colorado. And that encompasses a huge, huge group. But some of those people are survivors of trafficking, survivors of abuse, et cetera. And she says, shame keeps us sick.
00:24:57
Speaker
We need to be around people where there is no shame, but they don't have that opportunity or they feel like they don't. So additionally, recognition of and support for those still in or recently removed from the industry has not historically been in common.
00:25:11
Speaker
Again, you know, you have those biases or you don't recognize signs or whatever it is. So recently, LGBTQ survivors of sex trafficking have started to bring awareness to the issue.
00:25:23
Speaker
So very briefly, one of the stories of those survivors Eric Gray grew up in a military family. He was born to a mom from the Philippines and a dad from Texas.
00:25:35
Speaker
He grew up in a rigid religious upbringing, and he recalls actually kind of being very proud of the military environment and the connection. He decorated his room in American flags. He had really high hopes for himself to exemplify the same values and dedication to a cause beyond oneself that he witnessed in the military community.
00:25:55
Speaker
While trying to navigate his childhood, military move from Japan back to the U.S., Eric struggled with cultural tensions and bullying. Even the American school system that he started in after the move held him back.
00:26:11
Speaker
In the overseas schools, he was years ahead, very advanced. But when he arrived to his new school, he says, i was met with, you're a liar. You can't be that advanced.
00:26:26
Speaker
So they placed him in remedial classes. So he's a kid that looks different from your average basic person at this school in small town USA. He's a kid who wasn't born and raised here. Now he's put in remedial classes. So he's got a lot of things going against him.
00:26:46
Speaker
We're just taking away every chance you're ever going to have. Absolutely. From the beginning. And and the i think the hardest part about it hearing his story was that like he was just like a really sweet, hopeful kid, yeah you know?
00:27:03
Speaker
but we're going to take that all the way. I kind of picture it as like he did, he had a lot going for him. And then all of a sudden he's got this huge, just shift of physical place and emotional, societal, et cetera.
00:27:22
Speaker
He wants to better understand himself. He's a teen, preteen, but he didn't have resources or a safe place to figure out who he was. Texas dad, Filipino mom, religious community, couldn't really talk to them very easily.
00:27:39
Speaker
He sought respite from bullying and the loneliness online. Like a lot of young adults and teens in the LGBTQ community do.
00:27:53
Speaker
What year is this? to Not that long ago. No, so online. It's not the 90s. Yeah, it's like 15 years ago. yes um It wasn't long before he and he said it wasn't the ninety s Yes, for all of those Utes that are listening to us right now, there is a time period before and a time period after internet. So when stories that we tell talk about internet use, you can pretty much guesstimate that it's the 2000s and beyond. I remember at Jacksonville State University, it was in like 1996 or 97, I was trying to figure out how to check an email.
00:28:35
Speaker
I was standing at a computer going, what is this email thing? I don't even understand. what How do I even get there? What do I do? On your desktop dial-up computer that the whole thing is the size of me, but the screen is only the size of a Tupperware lid? They had five of those in the cafeteria. Yeah. That's where we could check the email. Oh, my gosh. And I didn't know what the email was. What's an email? What's an electronic mail? How did get to this email thing? I don't know.
00:29:03
Speaker
Do I have to go to a place? Yes. Where's email? It's online. What's online? Where's the line? And what's that little A with the circle that goes around it? Seriously, i remember all of that. oh I mean, honestly, you still have a YMIL address. It's wild. Yeah. um Thank you. So Eric online in the Okay.
00:29:22
Speaker
so but eric is online in the two thousand yeah And it wasn't long before he encountered a slightly older man on Craigslist.
00:29:34
Speaker
That was also a thing, kids. You could meet people on Craigslist. um They did a big ban on that like five years ago. Something about the Craigslist killer.
00:29:45
Speaker
Yeah. Like only five years ago that was banned. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so Brian, he claimed that he was in his early 20s when he was indeed married.
00:29:56
Speaker
Not. How old do you think he was? 54. No, he was only late 30s. Oh. um He answered the questions that Eric had about being attracted to men. He was open. He was honest. He let Eric ask questions that he otherwise couldn't. He seemed like a safe way to talk about what otherwise would have been considered non-traditional ideas. And the age thing doesn't matter. We were just guessing on it. I was just guessing. That really makes no difference. Period. Yeah. Yeah, that was, you know, that was not like a shot at one or the other. yeah We just like to play those games. yeah
00:30:29
Speaker
um So before he knew what was happening and without understanding the implications, because again, this is a teenage boy new to a lot of the things around him.
00:30:40
Speaker
Eric was being groomed. Just such an icky idea. um After a particularly hard day of bullying at school, Brian offered to come and pick Eric up from school.
00:30:54
Speaker
Eric said, quote, that felt really special to me. So I met up with him. Like, yeah, this persons this person is showing me attention and support. Well, that's part of the grooming thing. That feels good. It does. It feels nice to be supported. It's supposed to feel good, right? yeah Yeah. So he was picked up, and then they drove to Eric's childhood park, um...
00:31:19
Speaker
that he had previously had lots of fond memories from before everything, before they went to Japan and things changed and came back and all that kind of stuff. Brian then pulled out a meth pipe and a weed pipe, which, is it a weed pipe? Is that what it's called?
00:31:36
Speaker
Bong? Bong? I don't think it was a bong. I mean, that's big, right? are they small? Are they compact? Like a, um, pipe? Like I know, like a meth pipe is a thing, right? It's a little glass pipe. Like a like a crack pipe. But I have never heard i don't i've never heard a weed pipe before. I've found meth pipes in strange places in humans before. Yeah, ditto. In a vagina. Yeah. Found one in a vagina. They do a lot. Yeah. They do that a lot. why the meth pipe in the vagina? Just throw it out the window. Honestly.
00:32:06
Speaker
Yeah. Just honestly. But they've stuck a lot worse up there, too. The things that we have found in humans. This is your very first time ever listening. We're yeah ER r nurses. we oh We don't just go searching.
00:32:16
Speaker
My God.
00:32:22
Speaker
This is not our own personal sexual experiences. Also, Jeff does not dabble around vaginas. Preface that with saying that we work in an emergency department. On the job, we have found. but Crack pipes and vaginas. Just saying.
00:32:38
Speaker
Thank you for clarifying. Yeah, sorry. shit let's let's Let's say things out loud sometimes. yeah okay sorry. ah So um obviously this, everything escalated from there.
00:32:54
Speaker
Meth pipe, weed pipe, Eric's feeling really comfortable and secure. And he's like, Brian cares for me. Like, why would he do something that's bad for me? right Brian started picking up Eric up from school regularly and taking him back to his home.
00:33:08
Speaker
There, Brian wood
00:33:13
Speaker
brian would call it they would be having consensual sex, right? um Everyone on this side of things understands that what Brian was doing was actually sexually assaulting Eric. And again, Eric didn't really know that this was sexual assault.
00:33:31
Speaker
um By the age of 14... That's horrible. Eric was selling drugs at school. He was under the impression that he was turning into a grownup and he would have the power now because of how Brian was treating him and how they were interacting and how the things that Brian was saying to him about how he could he could be less bullied, et cetera.
00:33:54
Speaker
He was also addicted to opiates, methamphetamines, and multiple psychedelics. But Eric had fallen in love with Brian. He was finally experiencing what he thought was a normal relationship.
00:34:09
Speaker
As their intimate experiences began changing, Eric thought nothing of it. The first time, this is kind of graphic, but the first time ah Brian brought another man into the house and offered Eric to him sexually, there was nothing Eric could do to stop it.
00:34:26
Speaker
Brian gave Eric a meth pipe and held his head as the other man sexually assaulted Eric. So the next thing he knew, he was being trafficked due in the commercial sex industry.
00:34:40
Speaker
And for 10 years, he endured the horrors of everything that that life involved. So, you know, it wasn't something like Taken where he was hidden and shipped off and never seen again and that kind of thing. But it's something that happens in real life in people's backyards because these things would happen and then he would get dropped off at home and then he would go to school the next day and then he would get picked up again and like, so so he was still living life. wow But the bullying had stopped because he was selling drugs.
00:35:13
Speaker
So throughout those 10 years, Eric actually did try and talk about what was happening to him because he started to feel like maybe it wasn't entirely normal.
00:35:25
Speaker
um Unfortunately, even though he reached out to the pastors at his church and aunties, which is, I don't think that they were actually related. I think it was just all the Filipino auntie thing.
00:35:38
Speaker
um All of the adults that he reached out to
00:35:45
Speaker
he was met with one of two things. They either flat out didn't believe him because what an absurd story. Like this isn't happening. Or they actually judged him and shamed him because you're a good religious boy away from a good upbringing. Like how could this happen? You're having sex with men. You're attracted to men. This is your fault. That kind of thing. How about we focus on the fact that He's a child. what the fuck?
00:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's child. um So again, he's reaching out to pastors and family members and like adults. He's crying out for help. He's asking for it, but it didn't fit what people thought of as being the sex trafficking industry.
00:36:35
Speaker
um Imagine the anger that that stirs up inside of him. I don't know his story, but I'm just saying. I think that you will love this guy.
00:36:48
Speaker
Love him. So he tried repeatedly to extricate himself from that life, but each time he was pulled back in. Again, he's suffering with multiple drug addictions. Um, but and shame. He does have his own shame about this, right? Because he's being told shame on you, et cetera.
00:37:07
Speaker
At 24 years old, Eric Gray tested positive for HIV. He very quickly became hopeless. However, he channeled that hopelessness into a positive change.
00:37:19
Speaker
He began volunteering at a domestic violence shelter and learned firsthand the power of advocacy. And hearing him talk about some of the experiences he had at that shelter she's just really life-altering. The fact that he did that is amazing.
00:37:35
Speaker
Yeah, because you can also see it go a totally different way. um And he just didn't, you know, he became the founding partner of Queers Uniting to End Exploitation, also known as Quee, and the program's director for Innovations Human Trafficking Collaborative.
00:37:57
Speaker
He is a victim advocate ah on the Therapeutic Alternatives Unit with the Kings County Prosecuting Attorney's Office. He also served as an advocate at Real Escape from the Sex Trade, or REST, to address the frequently overlooked
Eric Gray's Advocacy Against Human Trafficking
00:38:14
Speaker
experiences of boys, transgender individuals, and the LGBTQ plus community.
00:38:20
Speaker
Before that, he opened he opened a shelter focused on youth of color. He served on the Kitsap County Human Rights Commission, volunteered as a caregiver at the Bailey Boucher HIV AIDS Hospice.
00:38:39
Speaker
In 2019, he was the recipient of the Unlikely Hero Award for contributions towards ending human trafficking internationally. And in 2021, he received the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children's Hero Award.
00:38:56
Speaker
Right? Yeah. In a discussion with him, and you just it just he just keeps doing it, right? Everyone gave up on him, and everyone turned away from him, and he didn't fucking do it. but It's incredible.
00:39:09
Speaker
This next part is really good. It's horrible and great and amazing. In a discussion with another survivor, Eric tearfully says, quote, I'm not the only boy who had dreams that were stolen, but my pain is beautiful because the men who demanded more than my child body and spirit and soul could never be expected to provide. They did not take that from me.
00:39:33
Speaker
What they did do is they made me aware of the limitless amount of love I have inside of me. And I know now how much i love how much love I have to give and that good things can come from my hands, that love can be felt from me.
00:39:49
Speaker
As awareness increases, there are more resources available to help LGBTQ youth and young adults struggling on their own. um In last week's episode, Jeff mentioned the Trevor Project, right?
00:40:02
Speaker
So the Trevor Project provides 24-7 crisis services, peer support, advocacy, public education, and research. It is the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ plus youth and young adults. They strive to end suicide in the youth community by providing a welcoming and loving world where they would not have one otherwise. Okay.
00:40:24
Speaker
Covenant House Services strives to provide a place for homeless youth with food, shelter, and physical and mental health care in a judgment-free environment 24-7. They provide crisis support, participate in community outreach, public education, and long term long-term sustainable independence. They have resources resources in sick countries. And I think one of the things that I really kind of love about theirs is that it's – they teach, they – like programs you're a 12 year old, 13 year old, 14 year old, 15 year old. They got kicked out your house. Like here you are, you're 16, 17 year old. This is how you adult, you know? So there are people who help them learn to live and, and continue living.
00:41:14
Speaker
It's, and they get them jobs and they educate them and like super cool. um The Exodus Road is an organization that participates with law enforcement to combat human trafficking crime, equip communities with ways to protect vulnerable populations, and empower survivors. The three-tiered approach addresses prevention, intervention, and aftercare services on a global scale. Whoa.
00:41:38
Speaker
And then obviously um there is, well, so the Polaris Project works. I've heard of them before. Yeah. They work with survivor-led organizations, state and federal policymakers, big business, and law enforcement to drive change. And over the past 20 years, they have built the largest known data set on human traffic human trafficking in North America.
00:42:02
Speaker
And not specific to LGBT or youth, this is the National Human Trafficking Hotline for confidential support. You call 1-888-373-7888 or text word BEFREE to 2333733. that was good story.
00:42:15
Speaker
horrible story, but the man's amazing. or text the word be free to two three three three seven three three wow that was such a good story it was a horrible story the man's amazing Really.
Identifying Signs of Child Trafficking
00:42:33
Speaker
Really, really, really. And it's one of those things where it's like. What did you say he was involved in? What was the equity or. Q-E-E. I'm going to put that in the.
00:42:45
Speaker
Queers uniting to end exploitation. Okay. Exploitation. I'm going to put that in the show notes. He just, and he just keeps, he just keeps doing amazing things. It's wild.
00:42:58
Speaker
But it is. It's you, you know, it's. Quee. you life gives you lemons. You fucking open shelters for people who you don't want to suffer the way that you have. Right. You know? And he did it.
00:43:15
Speaker
The Covenant House, it says, leading nonprofit provide safe housing for youth ages 16 to 24 experiencing homelessness survivors of human trafficking.
00:43:27
Speaker
Yeah. Six countries. That is incredible. The Polaris Project is the one that I found. i've been looking at that one before. Yeah, I mean, i feel like I could deep dive into the Polaris Project so much because,
00:43:46
Speaker
man. And then I was just in your story looking for, like, what does child-trafficked look like or a child in sex trafficking?
00:43:57
Speaker
A child in a position of unexplained large amounts of cash. child's ID is being held by another person or they do not have an ID. Signs that a child has been coached when talking to people, letting others speak for them, or looking at others before they speak.
00:44:12
Speaker
Tattoos or branding the child does not wish to talk about, explain, or did not choose. Chronic homelessness, youth who are unstably housed, or children who frequently run away, abruptly disconnects from family and friends, close association with an overly controlling adult, regular unexplained school absences.
00:44:36
Speaker
But I think that as, like, we're first-line, front-line workers, right? We're in the emergency department. We go through countless classes on identifying trafficking of all sorts and abuse of all sorts, and I think...
00:44:53
Speaker
no matter how much training you have, it's easy to overlook a lot of those things. It's easy to make excuses for it It's not my business or that's just their dad. That's just, that's okay. Like we, you don't ask the questions because you don't think it's your business or maybe some people don't want to make it their business because that is a lot. That's a lot to try and take on. So that's understandable, you know, but it's easy to say i had no idea because how many times do people come into are ER and their spouse is answering for them and you're like, hello, hi, are you the patient?
00:45:35
Speaker
It's just, it's in that instance, like maybe it's just because they, they, they have actively engaged in that person's care and they care that much and, and that's how their marriage is or that's how their relationship is. And,
00:45:49
Speaker
it's just so hard. It's, it's, you have to be aware and you have to realize that there's not one thing that looks like someone being trafficked, right? Like you're not going to see, again, you're not going to see, i don't know why this keeps coming to mind and it's probably really bad because I'm going to Albania later this year, but like taken, you know, like That's not what it looks like. It's not ah it's not a a house full of young women who have been picked up from all different countries and just put on mattresses on the floor and given heroin. This kid was going to school.
00:46:24
Speaker
He was successful. He's a college graduate. He works in politics in Seattle, like, or in Washington. Like,
00:46:35
Speaker
It's not easy to spot. yeah And for him to be able to get out of it on his own is astonishing. To do what he did. because i really make it ah To make people aware that it happens. And that during Pride Month, people in our community, again, they don't always have the best homes, the best upbringings. They don't have the best support. And they do end up in bad situations.
00:47:04
Speaker
But there's options. And we're going to put those all. And by we, I mean Alan. Because it ain't us. Even though you are a sound engineer now. Shit. Alan will put all of these in the show notes That was good, Sam. That was a good story. Thanks. It's a story worth telling. It's a story worth telling. You did good.
00:47:27
Speaker
that it? Do you want to finish it up? Done it. Here for a good time? Not a long time. Boom. Bye.
00:47:37
Speaker
Bye.