Transcript
Speaker: You ready for this? dan dan I knew! I knew you were doing it. Okay, okay. Here we go.
Speaker: Hi, Sam. Did we already start? Yeah, we did. Oh, okay. But he can cut that out. Okay. Should we do it again? Wait, we're going to leave all this in. We're going to leave all this in. didn't say anything bad, did I? You just... Okay, okay. I didn't... Okay. Y'all ready for this? Hi, Sam. Hi, Jeb. Hi.
Speaker: Welcome to the Jeff and Sam show. I'm Jeff. And I'm Sam. And we're here. And we're going to podcast at you, to you, around you, whatever. With you. With Yeah, we're just with you. We're with you. We're hanging out in your ears. We're with you.
Speaker: Like a parasite that you get from lettuce. Like a parasite. Yeah, apparently from lettuce these days. Ew. Ew. Ew. um
Speaker: Catherine texted me or sent me something on Instagram the other day that was like, it was some little funky little beat and like chickens bobbing their heads. And it was like, I've been waiting for this moment for eternity. It is officially safer to eat chocolate right now than it is to eat lettuce. Hell yeah.
Speaker: And did we eat chocolate? We ate so much chocolate. None of that. Do you still have some left? Of course I do not, I don't think. was about to say, that would surprise me if you did. I still do.
Speaker: You do? Actually, I think I do. It's in that 50 bag over there. ok There's one of the Melka Chocolata bars in the bag waiting to be eaten.
Speaker: Waiting to be eaten. By me. So, before we plunge into the story of chocolate, Let's cheers, Quiz. Cheers, Quiz. What are you drinking? I am drinking a lollipop classic root beer. A lollipop? Yep.
Speaker: Oh, sorry, ollie-pop.
Speaker: The song got in my head. Which song? Lollipop, lollipop. Oh, i love it I love a root beer. oh we're not drinking out of that.
Speaker: I've got coffee on that one. I'm really glad you didn't pour that. Almost did. Almost did. what it so ah you know, normally we're a true crime comedy of errors, history podcast, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: But today, we're going to do something different. What are we going do, Sam? We are going to... Because for those of you who listen to us regularly or who know us in person, we travel.
Speaker: ah We are travel buds who have had many ah adventures. And our most recent one was to Norway um to see friends and family and to celebrate Jeffrey's magnificent birthday. So we haven't shared with you guys about that. So we are going to unload two weeks of- We're gonna unload. We're gonna unload Norway on you.
Speaker: um What'd you think overall? What are your thoughts? It's very, so I realized Almost like how we were every every time we were in Egypt and we were like, wow. We kept saying like, oh, it's so amazing. It was amazing, right?
Speaker: The word for Norway was just awesome. you know So every time we talk about it, like, isn't this awesome? This is just awesome. So the word is very not enough to encapsulate it all. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: but I think it's a good start. It's awesome. It's awesome. It was awesome. It was extraordinary in every way. Oh, nope, except for the fucking stairs.
Speaker: And we'll get into that. Okay, yeah, yeah, okay. So we took the trip on the 16th. We left on the 15th of June. We headed to Stavanger, Norway by way of Copenhagen, which loved it. Yeah, from the jump.
Speaker: So much better than Amsterdam, right? Yeah. We also made that realization because when we left for Egypt, we left from Dulles at like 10 in the morning.
Speaker: So it was beautiful and magical and like damn near empty because it was like a Tuesday or Thursday or whatever. When we left this time, we left later.
Speaker: And... they were because our flight was at 8 o'clock. It was popping. Yeah. Yeah, it was busy. Our flight was at 8 p.m. from Dulles. And then we get to Copenhagen, then we get to Stavanger, Lena picks us up from the airport.
Speaker: The beautiful, majestic, magnificent, fabulous. yeah mean my god, how fabulous is she? The most fabulous. Like, kind of indescribably, so. Should I read the quote?
Speaker: I think you should. She was fragile, but not like a flower. Fragile like a bomb. Perfection, perfection.
Speaker: ah So we hang out with her and Gare for a couple of days, right? Which was wonderful to see them, because I hadn't seen them since London. Right, and we, um we. We had some great dinners, like.
Speaker: Listen. Girl can cook. Girl can cook? Girl can cook. It was delicious. Everything. ah So yeah, we enjoyed time with her and Gary. That was fun. We went into the city center. We went to um a little toy store for Amelia. Our little our little niece, Amelia. That was great.
Speaker: um Yeah, so Brittany had done research and worked really hard to find this specific brand of toy, and it's like impossible to get in the US. s So she was looking all over and found it at that absolutely adorable store. The store was called Smaa Spur, and it's in Stavanger, close to the colorful street. Yeah, close-ish, in between the colorful street and the water right there. Right. And then we were there, and we went to... do you remember the name of the bar?
Speaker: Valhalla. Yes, absolutely. we're There was Spanish-speaking people in there. Only. Only. No Norwegian-speaking people, Spanish. But he was like... The bartender was amazing. He was great. We had... okay. So the other thing is I always enjoy when I get to...
Speaker: still like be a part of something that's a first for you. So seeing the sign for the Norwegian waffles and like you not having had them, and in that bar, them bringing these Norwegian waffles out, they were so good.
Speaker: And then you introduced me to, Brown cheese, which I take almost personal offense to. So i have never liked brown cheese, right? Until they put, until, I don't know it's brown cheese. I don't know what the actual. don't think it's supposed to be brown. I wouldn't disagree with that, but it is brown and on a waffle, fucking delicious. With the jam and the like the sour cream, everything about that was fan-fucking-tastic. And then one of my favorite parts, not to skip ahead, but we may not mention this later on. My favorite parts was that beret Lila, when we were charging the car on the island, she had waffles for us in aluminum foil on the dash of the car for us to pick up. Like she just made some waffles.
Speaker: And they were so good. Didn't need cheese to eat them. I would just like... Eat them, pick them, eat them. Yeah, just fold it over. and ah Okay, listen. in One of the things that we do need to make sure happens at some point in this lifetime.
Speaker: I need the Norwegian waffle recipe. Okay? I need the yellow cake recipe. Jan Petter, if you're ever listening to this. Yeah, he's supposed to know it how to make it really well. And even though we spent the afternoon together, we didn't broach that topic because I had completely forgotten in my excitement.
Speaker: Well, maybe word will get to him to listen to this show. And so send the send the recipe. My dear Jan, please listen to us. As we say, we do need this recipe. Sam needs it. I don't need the recipe because I ain't cooking it. But Sam. I will make it every day for eternity. It was that good. Amazing. Amazing. But we're going to get there. Okay? So we're in Stavanger. We're loving it. It's kind of rainy and cold.
Speaker: That's Norway. One of the quotes I read about Norway is... um There's no bad weather, only bad clothing. And ain't that the damn truth? That accurate. So we're in Stavanger, walking around downtown, enjoying it. We're on the colorful street, which is called Fargegatan.
Speaker: And we are, just first of all, I'm going to throw these words out like I know how to say them. And maybe they sound okay to some people. That's great. I'm sure they don't. And that's also great. Do with confidence. Do it with confidence as we do with everything, right? Damn right. And it's time to head back to Lena's house and we're going to take a bus.
Speaker: Now, one thing in all my travels I have learned is when I get on a bus, I will go the wrong way the first attempt, right? I'll get on the bus with confidence and immediately the bus will be going in the opposite direction that I need it to go in. Which is really kind of a funny twist, right? Because, and I mean, i knock on wood, because I've had a rather successful international public transit experience.
Speaker: um where in normal life, I can't find my way out of a fucking paper bag, right? right And so I will follow you anywhere you go, whichever direction, even if like there's something in me that's like, this isn't right. So like yeah, get on the bus, absolutely. And it wasn't until i saw you like continuing to look at your phone that I was like,
Speaker: And that's because with age comes wisdom, comes wisdom right? And so when i get when I get on the bus, immediately there's a 50-50 chance I'm going in that wrong direction. So what I do now, last 10 years, is I just look at the map of where I need to go on my phone, of where I need to go, and then the actual direction I'm going in, which I'm kind of glad we did that.
Speaker: Not that getting lost in Stavanger would be like a horrible thing, but like right yeah immediately... maybe two minutes in, I said, girl, we're going in the wrong direction. Well, we did go back and forth for a second.
Speaker: We were like, no, we're this is totally fine. This is fine. It's fine, we're good. No, maybe we're gonna, like, suddenly go the right direction. It's just gonna, we just, the map just needs to redirect. ah it just It just hasn't caught up with us yet. Yeah, no, that's not the case. Seven minutes in, we're like, it's not, we're not, yeah, we're going the wrong way.
Speaker: So we get back to Lena and Ger's house, and it was just a fun little experience to go the wrong way. Hey, we went into like another part of Stavanger that way, right? We did, and honestly, like I will say,
Speaker: people can say anything they want about like Norwegian weather or whatever, same way that they talk about weather in the PNW, right? Pacific Northwest, like Seattle. Yeah. um But I think...
Speaker: the thing that made it a non-issue was knowing going into it. Like I would never go to Norway and only bring like shorts and a tank top and a bathing suit, you know? Like that's just, that doesn't compute in my brain. So being forewarned from someone who has been there multiple times and looking at the weather, like being prepared with the right clothing Not once was the issue, like was the weather, like it didn't put a damper on anything, it didn't it didn't stop us from things, and that first day in Stavanger,
Speaker: like even though the cruise ship had come in, I don't know if it was the semi-slight, little bit more than a drizzle that kept all the tourists away, but it was damn near empty.
Speaker: like Which was amazing. It was amazing. We got to actually like walk without trying to like barrel through crowds and we could take our time in the shops and take pictures without the streets being totally bombarded, you know? Because that one street that we were on, the colorful street. Yeah.
Speaker: What was the name of the store? This is what I didn't have time to look up before we recorded this show. Things with the Story. Oh, oh, give me five on that one. Whoa. We got that shit at the same time. i didn't even think about it.
Speaker: Things with the story. There is this shop in Stavanger near the colorful street, Fargagatan, that is just, has the most, I don't know, like fun stuff. Like like like trinkets and and stuff, but nothing that's like kitschy, you know? It's not key chains and it's not magnets and it's not, It's like totally unexpected. Like that's where you got your Dolly.
Speaker: Everything Dolly. And like we got the, immediately the same place I saw your Dolly coasters and then right next to them I saw the, um the coasters for Kayla, which my brain is drawing a blank on this movie that I've watched. Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, why can't I, yeah. um And so it's just, it's just awesome. Also, Lena, the ah bitch I am the secret sauce. I am the secret ingredient.
Speaker: Oh yeah, ingredient. Bitch I am the secret ingredient. Oh, love it. Just cute, cute stuff. And like, obviously such a small town, like all of those little shops were just wonderful and the people were wonderful. And you know, prior to the trip, my Instagram had been showing me all Norwegian things and everything that would pop up would be like, in Norway,
Speaker: You don't look at people, you don't talk to people, you don't do anything, like people are not gonna be friendly to you, they're not gonna go out of their way. And I just had the complete opposite experience.
Speaker: But the other thing that we did when we were there was we kinda like bebopped in a couple of different thrift shops. And what did you obtain? I obtained a kettle. A tea kettle. A tea kettle.
Speaker: I don't know why it's like this antique tea kettle. I don't know why. no idea. It stopped you your tracks. It's on my stove right now. I've got a kettle from Norway on the stove. Don't know why. It stopped you like it stopped you cold. Wooden handle, metal kettle.
Speaker: And I was like, eh, let's do it. And you did. And we you bought it we put it in your backpack. Tea kettle from Norway. From an antique store on my stove. There it is. I guess I just, the world told me I needed it. The universe said, you need this tea kettle. Have you used it yet? Not once. Probably for a while. Okay. But I wanted it.
Speaker: but Listen, you got it. Oh, so what else? We met Sarah, Kalef. We had a fun time meeting them, looking at their new home. Their home. Their garden. And their dog. And their dog. sweet little dog. hu Listen, yeah, just, I mean, part of the majesty of this whole thing was like finally putting like,
Speaker: faces with names and yeah, just meeting all these people that you talk about so frequently that I feel like i already know. was really cool. am so grateful that you came with me on this trip.
Speaker: I'm so grateful that you thought to include me. Honestly, do you remember when we were taking care of the Medal of Honor recipients and I had to go into DC? You got to go into DC.
Speaker: I got the honor to go into D.C. because of the one person that I took care of. And you weren't with me. And the whole time I was thinking, this is not as good without Sam. Like, i want Sam by my side to experience this shit with me. we are two pays. the fact that you...
Speaker: took the time to come on this trip with me and to meet my people in Norway. It means a lot to me. And you're popular there now. People like you. Sing it. People... I ain't singing it.
Speaker: I thought I almost had you. But yeah, um I'm thankful and grateful that you came with me on this trip. I should say that at the beginning. I can't express how honored I am to have been even taken into consideration, let alone taken on the trip. well Because those people, like you really, ta to bottom, every single person that you have had in your life for so many years
Speaker: Just unbelievable. Just true magical people. many years. Oh my god. You're old. Girl, we're not old. We age like fine wine fine wine. Although most of us had to put our reading glasses on.
Speaker: Frequent, oh, it was fan-fucking-tastic. We'll get to that too. I've got that written down too. um ah but then you got to see the three swords. Now, what was that? I'm not a history person like you. I'm not a Wiking person like you, Viking person.
Speaker: So that site in Stavanger, right on the water, where those swords, which some people that I showed the pictures to thought the swords were from the Viking Age. Absolutely not. They were, that was a monument built in like the, this the somewhere between the 60s and 80s um to commemorate the largest battle the that took place between Vikings right there, instant like right there in Stavanger.
Speaker: um I think, okay, so i wrote. The name of it is literally like three big swords and it stands for like. Riksamlingen. Yeah. Was that right?
Speaker: um I don't know. It was on the picture that I took. Riksamlingen. Uh, sure. We're gonna take that and run with it. We are. running with it. But yeah, each of the swords represents, and and these swords that we're talking about, if you are not someone who has seen them in person or seen the pictures that we have taken, that we took of them, they're not small. They're not, like, they're fucking big. It's a monument, and it is a Viking-sized monument, and it is,
Speaker: It's just so cool. Yeah, that was amazing. I've never, maybe I've been there once, but I don't, it doesn't stick out in my mind. But I knew it was there, but I didn't know what it was because,
Speaker: Eh, eh, eh. You don't have a ah probably borderline toxic and unhealthy obsession with Viking history and culture? Not with Viking history and culture, no. Interesting. But, okay, so in every year, i really try to do something for my birthday, right? Like, I don't know.
Speaker: Why not celebrate the day you came to me? And especially this year, like I was turning 50 and shh.
Speaker: 30. was turning 50 and i was like, what what can i do And then we thennna had this idea or i had this idea to do a hike in Norway. And so now we're off. We're leaving Stavanger and we're headed to Uhlenzvang, which Lena, Ger, thank you for letting us use your car.
Speaker: That was just, that was amazing. First of all, you guys absolutely sold us on the electric Volvo, which is impossible to get in the United States, but.
Speaker: ah Amazing. Sold. But thank you for letting us use your car. Truly. And then. And drive it all over the country. Drive it up to, I mean, it was fjord after fjord, view after view, and it just. Tunnel after tunnel and after tunnel. And I really wanted to drive because I've been there several times and you have not. And so for you to sit, it was so funny watching you in the passenger seat.
Speaker: Y'all, she was like sticking her phone out the window, taking pictures, sticking her phone up through the sunroof, taking pictures. She was saying, oh my God, oh my God, more pictures, more pictures.
Speaker: And it was like the most incredible view followed by a tunnel. Oh, and then the most incredible view And a tunnel. A longer tunnel.
Speaker: And then you don't know when the tunnel's gonna end, and then all of a sudden, there it is. Back at a fjord. Back at a fjord, and by this point, the sun had come out, so like, it was beautiful. So the sun is reflecting off the water and the fjords and the snow-capped mountains and like, just the colors, everything was magical.
Speaker: And i do have to apologize.
Speaker: for all of the duplicate pictures because I couldn't stop. Because every time I thought like, oh, that was magical. I like, so it's a thing. She literally couldn't She could not stop taking pictures. and My phone battery drained just from it died taking pictures. It died. It died for second. And I went to take another picture and I was like, it's it.
Speaker: Give me your phone. me your phone. You're like, did what, take the exact same picture again? So then we get to this whole hotel Uhlensvang. Or was the hotel called Uhlensvang? I don't remember that. It was called Hotel Uhlensvang. It was yeah in... ok Right up in a fjord with these views that were incredible.
Speaker: and I hope that this is not... I don't know why it would be offensive any way, but it was the most, like... sound of music shit I have ever experienced. And that's even having been to Switzerland and to all sides of those mountains and all that kind of stuff. like
Speaker: The views sitting outside of that hotel were more like I just expected all the kids to come running out and start singing songs and shit. Fantastic, wasn't it? Yeah.
Speaker: and Loftus, Veseland. Okay, yeah. That's right. And then, so, the next day we're going to do this hike. And originally, Lena and Ger were supposed to be with us on this hike, and maybe a few other people. But the universe was like, eh.
Speaker: Not yet. We're changing things just a little bit. Which, honestly, okay, so, the next day we go to do the hike, right? But we're deciding, because the hike we were going to do was Drone and Stan.
Speaker: The Queen's Trail. Yeah. the Queen's Trail, but ah that's only if the weather was good, right? Or if the weather was, if you had visibility. Yeah, because the whole point of that is the elevation that you get and the location of the hike is supposed to give you these unbelievable views of the fjord. So that was one of those big things. and the the back and forth debate between lena and Gare before we left their house, going back and forth about like trying to figure out which would be the best and what would make it good or bad or whatever.
Speaker: Widely entertaining to listen to those two just because, i mean, they're just so, I mean, obviously this is where they live, but like being as knowledgeable as they are about like weather patterns and All of that.
Speaker: And so I had it like set in my mind that I wanted to do Drone and Stan. But, and we actually flip-flopped a couple of times the night before.
Speaker: Like, do we, do we not? i know that was driving you crazy probably, but like, I think you understood i really, That was the one like I came there to do, but also a lot of things had changed. And then on top of that, the next morning, the weather had changed. But Veebeka had already suggested, hey the four waterfalls hike is four beautiful waterfa for beautiful waterfalls hike is spectacular, especially maybe a little more ferry-like if it rains.
Speaker: And so that's the one we did. And I turned 50 fucking years old on top of a mountain in Norway. A real mountain. A real mountain no one in Norway. one ones we're used to. Not a hill, not a hill. Oh no, we made it to the fourth waterfall. They had mountains inside of mountains, behind mountains. Yeah.
Speaker: yeah It's just so wild. And and the fourth waterfall thing, we didn't realize it until after the fact, but like,
Speaker: You don't have to do all four waterfalls. you know It wasn't even like an option for us. We didn't even contemplate it. We put our rain jacket on and we started at the bottom. it First of all, we started at the bottom. were supposed to start at sea level, right? And immediately we're doing a, what's the word? Scramble.
Speaker: A rock scramble. Immediately, we're like 30 minutes. I think he was like 45 degree incline. It was wild. Yeah. Wild. And that's the first stretch, right?
Speaker: And then when we're done with that, we see right beside it, it was a paved road. Gravel. Gravel road. It was a road. Don't care whether it was paved or gravel. Because people who...
Speaker: had started long after us because we saw them like arriving. And I only remember this because of their dog, obviously. As we are coming up already like drenched in sweat, like figuring out how we're gonna take all of our layers off.
Speaker: um
Speaker: We come out through that little cutout and there's that fucking dog and its owners casually taking a wee stroll. Up the road. up the Up the gravel path. And we were sweating it out. Both of us were like, i don't remember which one of us asked it, but we were like, wait, we could have done that.
Speaker: right I probably was the one that said that. We could have done that shit instead of climbing up these rocks, these wet rocks. woof But no complaints. You know what?
Speaker: No complaints. We made it to the top. We made it to the fourth beautiful waterfall, and they just kept getting more and more beautiful. Waterfall number one was pretty. We stuck our face in the water for seven seconds because why? um It's a really good skin care routine for the Scandinavian countries.
Speaker: Is it really? Yeah. Okay, that's why we did it. I thought like magical fairies were going to come out. But yes, also that. What? Say the rest of it. won't. I won't. So yeah, we did. We snuck our faces in a glacial runoff At the top of the first waterfall. Yes. Yeah. And then we we keep on. We keep going. We keep going. Second waterfall, beautiful. Third waterfall, beautiful. Now, between the third and the fourth waterfall, here's where it starts to get a little squishy.
Speaker: Yes. When say squishy, what I mean?
Speaker: Um, let's backtrack a second because in between those first couple waterfalls was like the fairy forests that we were kind of traversing where the the way the trees looked, the way that they had grown, the way that the rocks and the moss and the different colors of moss and the flowers and all that kind of stuff like had,
Speaker: grown over the fucking eons, just had this magical vibe to it. And then somehow, as the mountain got higher and higher, um the terrain shifted a bit, um and we were constantly switching between just bare, slick rocks that we had to decide if we were gonna crawl up or like wide stance shuffle up the side of, and then we would go in and like we'd walk through and it'd be like black mud. yeah
Speaker: um But the one thing, the two things I guess that we didn't experience at all that people expected us to were um
Speaker: bugs and apparently the very popular and not totally unexpected fucking worms that hang from trees that I did see when we came down from the other hike.
Speaker: um I did not see that. We didn't see them on the, I only saw it on the way down from the hike because um i was up there walking with Vibika and Muna and she had Cat-like reflexes. We're just walking and somehow I guess because she knew to expect it, she saw that shit and dodged it. Quick.
Speaker: Who, Mona? Mona, yeah. And like, I i stopped and looked and I was like, oh my gosh, that's a worm hanging from a tree. Oh my God. Yeah. be yeah So we get to the top of this mountain-ish, right? Almost to the top. And there's this like plateau thing where you have to walk across it for a little while. The best way I would describe it is an almost bog.
Speaker: Almost bog, right? So I think I can, i think I can like jump on the bog or jump across it or kind of run a pitter patter without sinking, right? What happened, Sam?
Speaker: I will say that I have very few regrets in life, but one of them is that I did not get this on video because Jeff, like watching you, like do like quick step, quick step, quick step, just like try to pick your feet up really, really, really, really fast.
Speaker: And like just prancing along this, but you're also like failing epically because there was way to. It was a prance. It was a prance. Yeah. And my heels were coming up to my butt. Yeah. Like I was trying to like not sink into the bog.
Speaker: It was wild. Then we made it to the fourth waterfall and epic, epic views. Unbelievable. That was incredible. We FaceTimed people. so many people.
Speaker: That was amazing. totally did not take into account the time change. were just like, fuck it. Oh, yeah. We forgot about that. We called everyone. I don't even know what time zone I'm on when I travel like that. No. We called people. People were in bed sleeping. People wouldn't turn the light on in the room.
Speaker: know who you are. You know you are. But when we were up there, because throughout the whole trip, like, it it would it would drizzle a little bit, and then it would stop drizzling, and, like, we were having, like, menopause flashes the entire time. So we would get really, really, really hot and strip down to, like, our tank tops and and walk up. And then it would get chilly again, so we'd put our raincoats back on and, like, just back and forth so many times. And then we got to the top, and it was...
Speaker: pretty daggone clear when we got up there. And when you looked back out, like the fourth waterfall was behind us. And when you turned around and looked back out, you could see like the mountain ranges coming together and like the path that we had just taken up. There was this beautiful just like depression in between the mountains that was stunning. Yeah. And then that changed very dramatically.
Speaker: The clouds. very suddenly in in a in a like oh shit this is a sci-fi horror thriller kind of way i said have you ever wanted to be lost on top of a mountain in the clouds because we're about to be but we aren't going to be lost but those clouds came rolling in real quick didn't they oh my gosh wild and so um
Speaker: can't remember who had said it, maybe multiple people had said it, but again, because of the size of the glaciers that still are present up in these mountain ranges, like they, they have like created their own like weather system.
Speaker: um
Speaker: Maybe Tom was telling that? I think, but that was kind of cool to watch because Yeah, it was it was just wild. And then the way it came in and got close enough to the waterfall, but then would get like pushed back and it would curl up. and like It was crazy.
Speaker: So then we get to the top. We head back down. it was about an eight-hour total hike, right? Eight hours? Yeah. I think it was about eight hours. And we get to the end. not six miles, that's for fucking sure. I know. We get to the end where we see all these sheep in the back of a truck.
Speaker: And the the highlight, I don't know, almost the highlight of the hike. There were so many highlights of it, but seeing the sheep released from the truck and just running out into the yard and field. double tiered, okay? There were two stacks of sheep and it was an automated lift system. So they opened the thing. let the the bottom shelf of sheep bound out. yep And they all had the bells on their necks and everything.
Speaker: And then they closed the gate, lowered the top level and let that hole. And it was just, it was flood of sheep. That was fun to watch. And we get back to the hotel and Lena had us, ah she had a gift for us that was very, was lovely.
Speaker: Perfect. A little apple cider. A perfect yeah way to complete the It was like the freshest apple cider. And unfortunately, we can't get it here. No, we cannot. But that's okay, because we'll have to go back to Norway to get it. Well, I mean, we definitely have to go back to Norway, because...
Speaker: I got things to do. I have people to see. We walked into the hotel room when we got back and I was like, I don't think that stuff was over there when we left. A bottle sticking up out of ice and two wine glasses. i was like, I know that wasn't over there. And then a little box of chocolate and apple. Yeah.
Speaker: Amazing. Amazing. And so we're off. We finished that. The next day we leave. ah We head over to the island. and But it's like a four-hour drive.
Speaker: Tunnel. Fjord. Tunnel. Fjord. Is that where we saw the tunnel that had the underground roundabout? No. Nope. And then we stop at, i take you to Berenie Rosendahl, which is the smallest castle in Scandinavia, built in 1665.
Speaker: And it's just beautiful. Like everything around it, or the landscape. The little restaurant where we ate full of flowers. You mean the the greenhouse where we Oh, the greenhouse, absolutely. Surrounded by ye beautiful, vibrant colors of flowers and ate unbelievably delicious food.
Speaker: Right. So good. Yeah. Then we head Master, which I'm telling you what, I could spend all my time am there.
Speaker: right yeah monster is just amazing and we get there and when we get there immediately we go to lila's house where mona greta lila victoria peter leif peter katrina are all there waiting right and when we first arrived how were we greeted When we first arrived, how were we greeted? You're going to have to throw me more than that.
Speaker: Bert Lila with Norwegian flags. of course. Bert Lila with her Norwegian flags. Perfect. Perfect. And then, of course, they sang Bridge Over Troubled Water, Katrine. Very well. does that she's always does that from time to time.
Speaker: What was the other one they sang that day, too? Um, i don't remember. Bridge over Troubled Water. is the we are family. When I was taking the picture. Yeah. We are family. Um, would we go to a little cabin and then you took the plunge. Was it cold?
Speaker: yeah You came up out of the water and you lost your breath. Yeah. Couldn't breathe. Couldn't breathe. i zoomed There was no, there was no preparing for that. No. There was, and like hilarious though that, uh,
Speaker: Katrine's response was, well, it's warmer than it is in the winter. That's some shit, man. You guys are bred differently out there. Katrine, at least it's warmer than it is in the winter. Bred differently. ah There's something in your blood that don't flow through mine because I am a i am a southern Italy and Hawaiian Portuguese chick.
Speaker: i don't They don't make me like that. And then all the people came over that night. We had a good party that night. Small group of people. Berta, Morton, Elizabeth, Rebecca, Katrin, Mona, they all came over. We sat in the living room and just like had a good night. mean, those are good people, aren't they?
Speaker: They're amazing people. there's Words don't describe it, you know? Like, there's just something.
Speaker: just. just And now these are the people that since 1993 I have been hanging out with, right? yeah These are my people.
Speaker: These are my people. And like Morton is a brother to me and Berta is a sister to me. And um it's so funny because now we are the age that we are That night, whenever anybody went to read something, one by one they would put the reading glasses on. I was like, okay, we're all here now. This is where we are. this is great. It was amazing. And, you know, it was one of those things where it was just such an easy,
Speaker: an easy group of people, easygoing, like, Cheese. So much cheese. I loved it. And snacks. Potato chips. And chips. And then, like, next thing you know, it's fucking one o'clock in the morning. And it's It's still bright enough outside to go, like, yeah have a whole adventure. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, we learned that night that, um, what's, uh, what's Smitka?
Speaker: I remember this word, but I can't remember what it is. Oh, the oh i said to everybody, why don't we go outside to the water? Because the water was right there. Let's go have a movie with the sunset.
Speaker: And the immediate reaction I got from the group was kind of like. Like you want to go out now. And I didn't i forget that once you get out to the water, the mosquitoes try to carry you off into the sea.
Speaker: Basically, that's what happens. It was crazy. But like, they're not mosquitoes like we know, you know, like, at least in this area.
Speaker: You know, you have like a ah handful of them that might come around you and like, but you can see them and like, oh, one lands on you, like, you get rid of it right? The thing that makes these so magical and horrible is that they're microscopic little asshats. And like, you can't even see them, but they're all you. All over you. All over you.
Speaker: So that was short-lived. But some of my favorite pictures. Well, yeah, because I think it was just wonderful to
Speaker: Again, the the whole experience at night was being in the moment and like nobody was on their phones doing things. Every once in a while one would show a picture, but it wasn't like, you know, everyone was engaged. Everyone was talking, everyone was sharing stories. And then we get out to the water a and we had made jokes about pictures of people taking pictures. And so that was kind of the theme of all of us were trying to capture everyone else's like existing and and enjoying that view. So there's so many pictures of. Incredible. Yeah. Okay. And then the next day, this was a hard moment for me to, to process here. The next day, i think it was the next day that Morton and Elizabeth, they took us for a little ride because in 1993, I took a picture on top of a, they call it Varden is what I think the name of it is.
Speaker: It's an old watchtower, basically. For the Norwegian people could see the German boats coming in. And I want to just give a big shout-out to Morton for his immediate reference to the the beacons of Amunstur and all that kind of stuff from Lord of the Rings. and So in 1993, I take a picture on top of this bardon. It's like a torch. It's made of rock, but they would light it.
Speaker: with fire to notify the other Norwegian people on the other islands that the Germans were coming. And it would be, yeah, it would be a sequence of of fires that would light up. When when you were at the watchtower, it was your job to keep an eye out for the flames on the other mountain.
Speaker: And then if you saw them, you were delighted and it would warn the people that needed to be warned that they were coming. But here's the problem I had. Tell me about it. In 1993, when I went up there and I climbed on top of that damn thing, there were nothing but sheep up there.
Speaker: Okay? Mm-hmm. There's a whole forest there now. whole ass forest. A whole ass forest. Like thriving. I could not believe that in my life, these short few years, that a forest is now where...
Speaker: It's true. There was nothing but woods up there. Nothing but a forest. Like a beautiful forest. Oh, it was beautiful. like it wasn't just forest. A damn thing wasn't there in 93 though. That's wild. It was not there in 1993.
Speaker: Wild. That's crazy is what it is. It's crazy. Yeah. There's nothing that makes you confront like reality more than a forest being somewhere where it used to not be. we used to We used to walk all over that island back in the day, and we took a long walk to that back in 1993, which I looked the picture up before i started recording.
Speaker: And it is higher now and a lot more narrow at the top. And then also, like, one thing I hate, one thing I do not love, hate's a strong word, I don't hate anything. One thing I dislike a lot is to know that there is a plan for me but and to know that nobody will tell me what the plan is for me.
Speaker: Interesting. Yeah. Karma's a bitch, motherfucker. Karma's a bitch. And the next day, Lena had this lunch birthday party arranged for me. She had a whole ass day. a whole ass day arranged. And I did not know what to expect. I was having a very hard time with that.
Speaker: And Sam, her response was, she absolutely loved. She relished in me not knowing. Honestly, i don't think that I could ever find joy like that again.
Speaker: That was good for you. It was great for me. For you. It was fan-fucking-tastic. I loved it. Because like I could see the you like trying to play it off. You were totally fine with it, but like you were squirming. I don't like attention. i don't like anything like that. so I knew that something was coming. Honestly, it was amazing.
Speaker: Lena, you're goddess. You're a goddess. Jeez. Just truly. Truly. that and just... Like a a master of all things, you know? Oh, please. Yeah, absolutely. Can set something up regardless of any circumstances and make it unforgettable. So we took a tour of the amphitheater. We did the thousand-year-old church.
Speaker: We did. god That was amazing. We saw graffiti from 1623. Oh, my God. On the back of the pulpit. um Amazing. cool. And shout out to Budil.
Speaker: Yes. she packed she was She packed a punch. What a woman. A personality of 10,000 people. Firecracker. Firecracker. She was good. She was good. Lena said that she could say whatever she wanted around us because we're their people.
Speaker: And honestly, it was so...
Speaker: i never I never would have realized that you hadn't known her your entire life. you know I just thought she was another person that was part of this whole thing, and she greeted us like she had known us for ages, and and then we set in. Honestly, I was thinking I did. Because of how she was acting, I thought, well, I i must have known her.
Speaker: But no, she just she's so good at her job at this amphitheater. it's this this How would you describe this place? So it's like a ah combo. So it's a it used to be a mine.
Speaker: um So it's built into, or a quarry, sorry. and it's So it's built into what they had broken out and where they had taken the stone out. And it's a ah stone amphitheater. um And then it's just, i don't know, there was something like really peaceful and just gorgeous about it. And then there's the church, the thousand year old church, and that was built by King Olav.
Speaker: Something like that, I think. Don't quote me on that, but I think. And we held thousand-year-old key in our hands. You looked so hesitant when I had to do that. Because I just expected it to crumble. I don't know. That's my luck. I was like, oh my God, I'm going to destroy this. Because they had said that they had tried to make a replica because the key's so old, but the replica wouldn't work. So they had to continue using the original key because the door wouldn't open otherwise.
Speaker: So like if I fucked that up, then that was it. They could never get in again. That was amazing, wasn't it? Yeah. Beautiful, beautiful church. And like learning the story and the like the history behind like the arrangement of the seats and the blah, blah, blah, bla that kind of stuff was really cool. And um
Speaker: yeah, walking walking to the graveyard was pretty humbling. Also, the next day, Veebeka took us to Bergen. Well, that that same day after the thing we did, we went into the actual Viking...
Speaker: museum where Budil took us through the decades or the centuries of history, um of Norway.
Speaker: and that was all extraordinarily fascinating. And it went, it really did. It went from, you know, Idrisil and the Vikings and Odin and all that kind of stuff through all of the gods and goddesses. And then she told us the development and the, the,
Speaker: how they came to be what they are now. And then um after that, we were escorted into a through a door, and behind this door was a, honestly the only way I can describe it is like a magical cavern.
Speaker: And there were fairy lights set up and a table set up. Yeah. Table full of delicious. Listen, that butter, again, can't get it in the United States. Son of a bitch.
Speaker: What about the butter? just so good. It's made from the herbs that are that are found on the mountains surrounding that part of Norway. And it's only found there. It's found in abundance. So delicious. But the butter, the flavors that are in it, and then putting it on that bread.
Speaker: I wanna go back. That was beautiful. That was a beautiful lunch. It was a beautiful experience. And everyone wore their sashes. I'm so grateful for it. Everyone wore the sash, the thing across your chest. that I mean, you put me in a pink. um Royal cape. A royal cape.
Speaker: Pink. With sequin sequins on it around the neck. And a crown. and the crown. Okay, and people thought it was it was not a light kind. cheap knockoff. Heavy is the head that wears the crown. Indeed.
Speaker: Because my head was heavy because that crown was so heavy. It was it was metal and gems, man. It was not plastic. Hard to be a diamond in a rhinestone world. ah So that was magical. That was Lena.
Speaker: That was Lena. And like I said, just flawless. Flawless. Unforgettable. Yeah. So it's absolutely special. Thank you. And you topped off that adventure standing on the stage in the amphitheater?
Speaker: Dancing, of course, too, because I guess I have a thing when I go to Europe. Madonna's going to come on and I'm going to dance and sing to Madonna. In your pink sequined cape. Oh, my God. Sometimes I'm too gay.
Speaker: No such thing. No such thing. You're right. No such thing. So that was that day. that was my birthday. Viveka's birthday as well. Hers was the 20th. So her, mine's the 19th.
Speaker: Peter's was the 19th. Peter was the 19th as well. And then Viveka was the 20th. So every time I go in that time frame, it's always all of our birthdays. And... um Trying to think what day we were at because this was Sunday that we were... Okay, so we're only on day four of this trip so far.
Speaker: And then Monday, Rebecca takes us to Bergen. And ah that's one of those cities that if you have never been to Norway... I absolutely love to take people to Bergen because honestly, it's just like, it's so beautiful to ride into the harbor to see Brigen, which is the harbor part of the town.
Speaker: It's so old and it's so beautiful. And you take the little fast boat into the harbor. It's spectacular, isn't it It truly is. But the thing I think that was the most memorable to me because I've been there so many times is Vybeka, who used to live there, took us on the Beffen.
Speaker: The Beffen, it is a little boat that takes you three minute ride across the harbor. very small boat. A very small boat, three minute ride across the harbor. Every 10 minutes, it picks somebody up, takes them three minutes across the harbor. And it's been going on for 130 years.
Speaker: And the thing about the Beffen is it was kind of founded by a Dutch person. Probably. Probably. Because we bought t-shirts on the boat.
Speaker: And the man was like, don't wear these wherever they speak Dutch. He said, Google it later. The man said, Google it later. He did. He did indeed. ah So we hung out in Bergen.
Speaker: And that night for dinner in Bergen, we Googled Beffen. um What does that mean? I forgot. Cunnilingus. Oh, that's right. Yeah. In case you forgot. So my t-shirt and your t-shirt says cunnilingus on it. It does indeed.
Speaker: The world's shortest cruise. kind of like his Probably the world's shortest cruise. That was great. That was great. That was like a little highlight of Bergen. Everything in Bergen is beautiful. But that, for me, I've never done that. Didn't even know that existed. yeah That was so special. yeah That was great.
Speaker: ah What else? We took the... the Not the gondola, because Vupica doesn't do gondolas. But we took the tram up to... The top of the mountain in Bergen.
Speaker: Okay, but also we went to Håkon Shalen, which is like the, I'm fucking that word up, but it's like the beautiful tower old building. it's the It's the remnants of the fortress that had existed there.
Speaker: And we're in this hall, this beautiful hall, right? Where there was dinners once and royal things. You walk into this place and anyone who has ever even contemplated like the medieval times or even the Viking eras know that when you enter a...
Speaker: a building space that is this large with this type of layout, which is just an empty space with a ah raised dais. Everyone knows what that is.
Speaker: Apparently that is an inaccurate statement because around 1800 people were in there and they were like, huh, what do you think this used to be?
Speaker: Like this place that we have just been like not utilizing for decades and we've just been walking by it like, oh God, look at that big thing. Look at that place. I said to V-Becca, I was like, do you think they were doing yoga? In my mind, like these two people were doing yoga and they were like stretching and they were like, huh, this grand space. What do you think it's been 800 years before? What was it?
Speaker: No idea. No idea. And so some of the old Norwegian stories referenced that place. And lo and behold, it was something big.
Speaker: The sagas. The sagas. The old Norwegian stories. Yes, it was in the old sagas, yeah. That was a good day. That was fun. And it was it was sunny in Bergen. Thank you. The entire day, not a drop of rain. Nobody would believe us.
Speaker: 360 days out of the year, that place is the rainiest. And Jeff and Sam brought the motherfucking sunshine. Yeah, we did. Hell yeah. And Rebecca. She helped.
Speaker: She knew it was going be sunny that day. um Okay, what else? Morton, Elizabeth. um Again, Elizabeth, thank you for taking us for a ride around the island.
Speaker: That was so special because she showed us like where her family grew up. She took us to the western part of Bumlo to watch the sunset. On or sunsetting on what body of water?
Speaker: The North Sea. The North Sea. Yeah. That was awesome. Thank you for doing that, Elizabeth. Yeah. That was amazing. And that kind of finished up our time on the island because that was the last night that we were on the island.
Speaker: we The only thing that we did in between was the the restaurant restaurant. Oh, Greta and Magna joined us for the restaurant. Greta and Magna. Along with everybody else. Yeah, so it was like, it was a massive table of us. I'm sorry, but on the way to the restaurant, in the car, Magna was playing music. What was the song that he was playing?
Speaker: Nine to five. Dolly Parton. Universal. The Norwegian people love Dolly Parton. Yeah. Who just doesn't love Dolly Parton, but that kind of made my day. Well, duh.
Speaker: I recorded that shit. You did. I was like, we're listening to Dolly. And Norway. And Norway. Yeah, so that rounded out our time there. And then we went back to the mainland. don't they call it the mainland.
Speaker: But we went back to Stavanger, and we stayed with Tom and Turid. And Hilda, ah Hannah, and Vilda came from Bergen, and they hung out with us and spent time with us, with Matthias. Yeah. where Sam, okay, here's the thing I wanted to tell you.
Speaker: i did not I don't do football. I don't do soccer. I don't do pickleball. I don't do sports. And i was kind of excited to watch the football game between Norway and France. But I wasn't really. But I kind of was because, you know, it was like I knew it was FIFA, right?
Speaker: But... I did not appreciate how amazing it was to be in Norway watching Norway play France in the World Cup.
Speaker: I did not put... like My brain didn't think about that. The enormity of it. The enormity of it. Because... So, the first Friday that we were there, i
Speaker: Did I take a nap or did I just stay up? I don't know, but that was the very first, that was the opening match for Norway's national team. It was the first time that they had been in the World Cup in 28 years and they had already made a splash around the world with like Erling Haaland, the whole thing about him and then the whole rest of the team. They have they had just captivated the world already. so Being in Norway for their first match in the World Cup in 28 years, Ger and Lena stayed up with me because obviously the time difference. So I was setting alarms every day to stay up on the World Cup and like wake up at four o'clock in the morning or stay up at three and like watch because it was an enormous experience.
Speaker: So yeah we- I didn't get it. i didn't get it until after we came back from Norway. and i watched the world fall in love with Norway, right? With the Norwegian team.
Speaker: And then I was like, oh shit. Okay, now I get how big that was. and I mean, I loved doing it. I loved face painting the Norwegian flags and i loved everything about it, but I didn't appreciate the enormity of it, right? Even when we did the Rø thing,
Speaker: In the living room. It was fun, but like now I appreciate it so much more. you know yeah And to be with Tom and Turid and Hannah and Vilda and Matthias and Louis, dog. I thought you were forgetting about him. oh I would never forget about Louis. Louis can't be forget about forgotten about.
Speaker: Can't be forgotten about. Honestly, that was a wonderful way. Experiences
Speaker: that will never fade, you know? right Like things that you will always remember and like be able to fondly recall. Unless of course we end up with wicked dementia. Unless of course, Hannah or Vilda produce a video that they should never produce. Hilda, I mean, Vilda, she basically signed a non-disclosure agreement with me. Basically doesn't count. She basically signed one. Nope. And we have a an understanding.
Speaker: I did a rap video. Yes, Many, many years ago. I sang a rap song. And Tom knows where it is. Oh, no. I will get my hands on that. so You will not. I will. You will not share it. I won't share it. I want you i need to see it.
Speaker: so It's so so horrible, but fun. It was fun, what am talking about? It was so much fun. But don't you love Turid too? Yes. She's amazing, isn't she? Just, ugh.
Speaker: Like I have a connection with her because I've obviously known her for a long time, but like she also would come with Lena down to Barcelona and Lena would to Dublin to see me there. And i don't know. I just adore her. She's just this amazing woman. Truly.
Speaker: Truly. And then also like to finish this out, um, Two people, jan Petter, he's amazing. I don't know if we talked about him enough. We didn't. But you did the fishing with him.
Speaker: did. You gutted the fish. I caught a fish. We went out on the boat. I caught a fucking fish. I caught two fish. And when you said, when he said, do you think yeah Sam would want to go fish? I was like, abso-fucking-lutely she wants to fish. I knew you would.
Speaker: That just made his day because the dude likes to fish. Yeah, we had a blast. Honestly, we would have stayed out all day, but we were delaying dinner. We didn't want to get yelled at. Lilo was just like, back here now. yelled at.
Speaker: Yeah, um I don't know. It's such a special place for me. and the people are so special to me. I'm forever grateful that every time I go back to Norway, um i get to be with those same people.
Speaker: And it means a lot to me. And they know that. And I hope they really do understand that because it's the same people since the nineties that I've been hanging out with and we've grown to this family. Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm so grateful for them and for having us this summer. It meant a lot. Um, yeah. I don't think that I could say thank you any better than that.
Speaker: can say it Norwegian. Oh. Tusen tak. Tusen tak. But look, we love you. We do, and honestly, thank you guys for kind of just welcoming me with open arms. Like, I was just kind of an extension of Jeffrey. There was there was never a moment where I felt out of place or... um They sort of loved you.
Speaker: Well, duh. Who doesn't? The answer to that is a lot of people. A lot of people. But... um Yeah, that was, that was um the entire thing was completely unforgettable. Trip of a lifetime. the people The people really made it. As as magical as the the hiking and the views and all that kind of stuff and the history was, it was the the everyday interactions and the conversations that we would have over coffee or cheese and bread or yellow cake.
Speaker: Well, and there's a a quote, right? It says, Norway, where the sea and the mountains embrace, creating a landscape that stirs the soul. The landscape has got nothing on the people, right?
Speaker: Do you agree with me? Truly, truly. The people are fucking incredible that I know in Norway. See, that's the thing, right? It's like, I'm a big landscape girl. But, again, the people that you...
Speaker: and you that you surround yourself with, that you attract, that are a part of your world are just genuine, beautiful souls. And they exude happiness and kindness and um love. And it was entirely visible in every interaction.
Speaker: And as Linna would say... But that's the universe. And that is all we have today. That was, honestly, that was a fun show just talking about Norway. I could talk about it all the time. All day. although We could say so much more. So, yeah.
Speaker: That's it. Next week, you're going to get a regular show. But until then, you have to wait. But we love you for listening. We love, love, love you for listening. we do. And just remember, we're here for a good time.
Speaker: Not a long time. Goodbye.
