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Episode 5: happy New Year!
54 Plays4 months ago
In this one we talk about resolutions, fitness trends of 2025 and offer unsolicited opinions on someone else's family. Enjoy!
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Transcript
Humorous New Year Greetings
00:00:01
Melanie & Kristen
All right, we're going. Oh,
00:00:02
Kristen
I was about to say hi. I
00:00:04
Melanie & Kristen
I'm sorry. This is the perfect intro for us.
00:00:09
Kristen
i was watching the countdown.
00:00:11
Melanie & Kristen
Oh my gosh. Okay. sorry Okay, sorry.
00:00:13
Kristen
like your coffee cup.
00:00:13
Melanie & Kristen
go
00:00:14
Kristen
I like your coffee cup.
00:00:15
Melanie & Kristen
well Thank you. It says words on the one side. Yeah.
00:00:19
Kristen
Oh. Oh, yeah, look at that. Okay.
00:00:31
Kristen
I just froze for a second. Hold on.
00:00:35
Kristen
I'm just trying to figure out what I'm... Okay. I'm trying to figure out...
00:00:42
Kristen
Happy New Year.
00:00:44
Melanie & Kristen
Happy New Year. Oh, yeah. Happy New Year.
00:00:47
Kristen
Happy New Year. Welcome 2026. You want to stop and restart?
00:00:58
Melanie & Kristen
No, we can edit all that out.
00:01:01
Kristen
The point was for us to, like, limit the editing, though. That was the point. And by us, I mean you. Okay.
00:01:08
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, just keep going.
00:01:09
Kristen
All right. All right. Well, welcome, 2026.
Cinnamon Roll Fiasco
00:01:14
Kristen
How's your year going for you?
00:01:17
Melanie & Kristen
I ate a lot of cinnamon rolls yesterday.
00:01:22
Melanie & Kristen
i was feeling left out because you were eating cinnamon rolls and Uncle Jeff was eating cinnamon rolls.
00:01:28
Kristen
Roll. Singular.
00:01:30
Melanie & Kristen
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. i'm the only one who ate plural.
00:01:38
Melanie & Kristen
We were eating a cinnamon roll and Uncle Jeff may or may not have eaten more than one.
00:01:38
Kristen
To be fair.
00:01:44
Melanie & Kristen
And so I made them. It took all day. um i started at nine. I finished at like four. And i was using the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook.
00:01:58
Melanie & Kristen
And I did not look at the servings that it like gave. It's like it was like 24 of them. of them
00:02:06
Kristen
They're like, to service your small bakery, use this recipe.
00:02:09
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, exactly.
00:02:15
Melanie & Kristen
Anyway, had five left by the end and
Whataburger or Waterburger?
00:02:18
Kristen
so good job.
00:02:19
Melanie & Kristen
i threw them away.
00:02:20
Melanie & Kristen
i threw them away.
00:02:22
Kristen
You could have frozen them.
00:02:26
Melanie & Kristen
but just,
00:02:32
Melanie & Kristen
I think it made Eric sad that he ate so many.
00:02:36
Kristen
hello
00:02:37
Melanie & Kristen
ate, I ate like four. Rest for him.
00:02:43
Kristen
well.
00:02:43
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, no, there's cat hair in my coffee. It's fine. I got it.
00:02:49
Melanie & Kristen
There's a tablecloth. We're throwing it away.
00:02:51
Kristen
Yum. Okay. Wow. Speaking of all that cinnamon roll goodness. I mean, I will say though, my cinnamon roll was like this big.
00:03:02
Melanie & Kristen
Oh.
00:03:05
Melanie & Kristen
You have a small head.
00:03:06
Kristen
is water
00:03:06
Melanie & Kristen
Like, what does that mean? So more like that?
00:03:11
Kristen
probably like five inches across five inches across i'd say wait is that like one two three i don't have a dollar i don't have cash oh smaller i thought you said go get a dollar smaller than a dollar
00:03:12
Melanie & Kristen
Build up a dollar bill.
00:03:16
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. Smaller than a dollar.
00:03:23
Melanie & Kristen
said smaller than a dollar. Six inches, roughly.
00:03:30
Melanie & Kristen
It's a dollar. smaller Smaller than a dollar.
00:03:33
Kristen
I don't know. Maybe should bring
New Year's Resolutions: Yay or Nay?
00:03:35
Kristen
the tray over. But like shout out to Whataburger for having a nice cinnamon roll. I mean, the tray of six.
00:03:43
Melanie & Kristen
Did you call it water burger?
00:03:47
Kristen
We call it – we add R's to words that don't have R's.
00:03:51
Melanie & Kristen
Water, water burger.
00:03:51
Kristen
I mean, Whataburger has two R's, but we add an R where there shouldn't be an R. Whataburger?
00:03:56
Melanie & Kristen
But it's literally spelled what a burger, right?
00:03:58
Kristen
It's spelled Whataburger, but no one says Whataburger. If someone says, oh, hello, this is my, we enjoy eating Whataburger.
00:04:04
Melanie & Kristen
mean
00:04:07
Melanie & Kristen
Why did anyone call it that in the first place?
00:04:07
Kristen
We're like, you're not, I don't know, but we're like, you're not from around these here parts.
00:04:16
Melanie & Kristen
I mean, neither are you. You've just acclimatized.
00:04:18
Kristen
But we've been here long enough.
00:04:20
Melanie & Kristen
Acclimatized.
00:04:20
Kristen
We've been, we've been long here long.
00:04:22
Melanie & Kristen
Is that the British way of saying that?
00:04:24
Kristen
Is it what?
00:04:26
Melanie & Kristen
I said, is that the British way of saying that? Acclimatized. No, acclimatized. Or is that just how you say it? Acclimatized. Acclimatized.
00:04:37
Kristen
know if you say acclimatized. I don't know if you can make that a word. I mean, acclimate.
00:04:46
Melanie & Kristen
I was watching this TikTok or, or it was Instagram reels. Anyway.
00:04:54
Kristen
Both good sources here. Mm-hmm.
00:04:56
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah. It could have been the same thing, honestly. um And I think it was a psychic. There was no, there was no context. It just kind of like appeared. And the guy was the psychic who knows was going, you know,
00:05:13
Melanie & Kristen
yeah 24, Virgo. And then he's like, Jordan? And then someone's like, and in the crowd. He's like, did you just get a pet?
00:05:24
Melanie & Kristen
And the guy's like, Yeah, seven. He's like, are they chickens? And he's like, sure are. You know it or something like that. And everyone's laughing. And he's like, um are you feeling like oh they're they don't love you as much as you love them? And he was like, yeah.
00:05:46
Melanie & Kristen
And he's like, do you feel like they're withholding from you? And he's like, yeah, well, I'm about $1,500 in. I'm like, where the eggs? You know?
00:05:59
Melanie & Kristen
and And that's when he said that they were they need to acclimatize.
00:06:01
Kristen
Are roosters?
00:06:05
Kristen
It is a word, by the way.
00:06:07
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, well, I just had to do that whole story for you to just confirm what I asked you in the first place.
00:06:16
Melanie & Kristen
Sisters.
00:06:16
Kristen
I think you didn't have to do the whole story.
00:06:17
Melanie & Kristen
Sisters. Sisters.
00:06:19
Kristen
You could have just said, hey, look it up real quick, which is what I was doing like within the first line of your story. but
00:06:37
Kristen
So, New Year's resolutions.
00:06:41
Kristen
Yay or nay?
00:06:44
Melanie & Kristen
Yay.
High School Wrestling Memories
00:06:45
Kristen
Nay.
00:06:45
Melanie & Kristen
yay. It's like a, it's like a, it's like a, you know, it's somewhere the middle.
00:06:48
Kristen
Okay.
00:06:51
Kristen
Explain.
00:06:55
Melanie & Kristen
Cause I have the same resolution every single year. It's just to lose weight. Yeah. So yes and no. it's just It's just an ongoing goal. I think it's mostly to be healthy all around.
00:07:08
Kristen
Hmm.
00:07:09
Melanie & Kristen
And Eric and I have been um working out a lot. We've been weightlifting in our garage. We have ah a whole setup going on.
00:07:22
Melanie & Kristen
And I am so weak.
00:07:29
Melanie & Kristen
I'm like bench pressing eight.
00:07:32
Kristen
the bar.
00:07:33
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. but And he's like doing 50 pounds in each hand.
00:07:40
Kristen
Oh, you're talking about dumbbells.
00:07:42
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:07:43
Kristen
Okay.
00:07:45
Melanie & Kristen
Well, we have a we have a bar too but.
00:07:48
Kristen
Well, if you're doing eights, you're not doing the bar.
00:07:48
Melanie & Kristen
what we're doing
00:07:50
Kristen
Yeah.
00:07:51
Melanie & Kristen
yeah
00:07:56
Kristen
Emma is very strong. She does a lot of weights with, um they do a lot of weight training with her softball team for school. So that's like, yeah, I don't think we ever did that at school.
00:08:10
Kristen
I think literally the only people that used the weight room were the football players, possibly.
00:08:16
Melanie & Kristen
And like wrestling team, did you have wrestling team?
00:08:19
Kristen
don't know if I had a wrestling team, to be honest. I'm like, We didn't really have the, um, well, I don't know. i was gonna say, I don't know if we had like the, the demographic for wrestling.
00:08:35
Melanie & Kristen
Does anyone?
00:08:38
Kristen
I think so. i think wrestling. Okay. Well now going to look up wrestling demographics.
00:08:42
Melanie & Kristen
eric Eric was on the wrestling team in high school.
00:08:46
Kristen
He looks like he would be a wrestler.
00:08:47
Melanie & Kristen
and And it gives me such joy to tell you this story. um
00:08:55
Melanie & Kristen
He actually made it to the newspaper.
00:08:58
Kristen
Oh, good job!
00:09:00
Melanie & Kristen
but because his opponent
00:09:07
Melanie & Kristen
did some like world record of fastest pin.
00:09:15
Melanie & Kristen
it's been my mission to find it so that we can frame it
00:09:15
Kristen
Hmm.
00:09:22
Melanie & Kristen
and put it on the wall because think it's really funny. um It cracks me up. He's just like on the floor. That's the picture. It's just like being picked.
00:09:35
Melanie & Kristen
One year, I'm going wrap. I'm to find it. i'm gonna frame it.
00:09:39
Kristen
and Frame it.
00:09:39
Melanie & Kristen
and I'm wrap it.
00:09:39
Kristen
I'm sure he's going to love that.
00:09:40
Melanie & Kristen
I'm going to give it to him.
00:09:44
Melanie & Kristen
He's going to think it's hilarious.
00:09:44
Kristen
Okay, so I'm looking at...
00:09:45
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
00:09:48
Kristen
Okay, well, this is race demographics for WWE and then some other... initials that I don't know AEW don't know I don't know but white Americans make up 57.8% of that demographic Latino Americans make up 18.7 black Americans 12.1 on and on and on yes okay now with that background
00:10:18
Melanie & Kristen
Like wrestlers? Okay.
Photo Developing Mishaps
00:10:24
Kristen
knowledge
00:10:25
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:10:26
Kristen
Let me, ah
00:10:29
Melanie & Kristen
I mean, I've already forgotten everything you just said, but Okay.
00:10:31
Kristen
there was like almost 60% white people um at, I'm looking up our racial demographics at Cleveland High School, Reseda, California.
00:10:34
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
00:10:54
Kristen
All right, so. Grover Cleveland Charter High, because now like all these schools are charters, has a very diverse student body with a total minority enrollment of 84% and 71% identified as economically disadvantaged, indicating a predominantly minority and low-income population, typical for schools in LAUSD areas.
00:11:06
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:11:20
Kristen
Okay, so, ooh, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo. Anyway, my point being, oh, here we go. 62.1% Hispanic, 16% white says.
00:11:40
Kristen
There were, i was going to say when I was there, it seemed like, because it's been a hot minute. um It seemed like there was a predominant Hispanic population.
00:11:56
Kristen
And then i feel like there were a lot of black kids, but I know, I feel like nowadays there's a little bit more interracial mixing going on. So I don't know how they look at that andav demographically.
00:12:13
Kristen
Two or more races, I guess is what they would say.
00:12:16
Melanie & Kristen
Nobody wants to identify as white.
00:12:16
Kristen
The point is, is there wasn't a lot.
00:12:21
Kristen
Well, it's interesting here. My kids identify as white Hispanic. Not that they have any Hispanic, um like they're all European. it's you're They're European, but because Eddie's family is from Argentina, it's a cultural thing that they are that they include. So I'm like, yes, yes, check that box.
00:12:44
Kristen
Because, you know, my poor son, you know, white male, that's that's a rough one. We can talk about my whole like, ah what is it?
00:12:50
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:12:53
Kristen
The... ah
00:13:01
Melanie & Kristen
um don't know.
00:13:01
Kristen
When the thoughts...
00:13:02
Melanie & Kristen
What is it?
00:13:04
Kristen
Oh, this is such a bad idea. um
00:13:09
Kristen
I can't think of the name of this.
00:13:12
Kristen
This happens to me all the time. It's so fun. um Because then I look like...
00:13:17
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. I don't know if it's ADHD or cancer. That's like making my brain not remember things.
00:13:24
Kristen
Oh, I thought you meant my astrological sign.
00:13:25
Melanie & Kristen
Literally you said overalls earlier. Literally you said overalls earlier and i was like, oh, this is a, I don't know. It's a pinafore.
00:13:35
Kristen
Yeah, that's how I'm feeling right now. um
00:13:42
Kristen
It's like...
00:13:46
Kristen
They just got rid of it in schools recently. And like across the board, I feel like. But it was Oh my gosh.
00:13:59
Kristen
All right.
00:14:00
Melanie & Kristen
Describe it so I can help you.
00:14:02
Kristen
It's where... People of color, because that's who it usually, you know, help, were given an advantage with, like, school enrollment, work stuff.
00:14:11
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
00:14:21
Kristen
And I, for the life of me, it's like,
00:14:22
Melanie & Kristen
don't know what it's called, but I know what you're talking about, I think.
00:14:26
Kristen
Okay. So I have that story about how that was, how I was affected by that. was very sad.
00:14:36
Melanie & Kristen
oh
00:14:36
Kristen
Going into junior high school and I was ranked like in the 99th percentile across the board. So that's like, you know, I did better than 99% of students in the whole state of California.
00:14:51
Kristen
And I had like straight A's. And and I applied to this magnet junior high school and they were like, we would love to have you. you're like our perfect ideal student.
00:15:07
Kristen
Problem is, is we have too many white kids enrolled, so we can't offer you a spot right now. So i was like, wait, so I can't go because I'm white? Like that, that was the whole thing. I was like, okay.
00:15:25
Melanie & Kristen
You're like, well, I'm not.
00:15:28
Kristen
I'm like, I'm very tan.
00:15:29
Melanie & Kristen
right husband Yeah, I'm very tan.
00:15:32
Kristen
i was very tan in elementary school.
00:15:35
Melanie & Kristen
yeah You look like Mowgli.
00:15:38
Kristen
Thank you.
00:15:40
Melanie & Kristen
You're welcome. We should put that picture of you.
00:15:43
Kristen
no, we shouldn't because where my underwear is.
00:15:44
Melanie & Kristen
one Like this?
00:15:49
Kristen
It was my underwear up, yeah, because mom was like, let me take a photo of you, even though you're sitting here in your Chinese.
00:15:49
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:15:56
Kristen
She had just had yeah just cut my hair. That was the context of that. i wasn't just... And I was like eight.
00:16:06
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:16:07
Kristen
Seven or eight, yeah. But still.
00:16:09
Melanie & Kristen
I think it's because you were just in underwear that you really, it really sold the whole Mowgli thing. You know?
00:16:17
Kristen
The fact that she's like, here, let me take a photo of you. And I'm like...
00:16:21
Melanie & Kristen
Look what I did.
00:16:25
Kristen
Well, and this was like before, obviously before digital cameras. And so I'm like, this is going to be developed by someone and they're going to see me.
00:16:35
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. there're if What's crazy to me is some the the pictures that some people would take and then like
00:16:37
Kristen
Creepy.
Viral Fitness Trends of Yesteryear
00:16:45
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, the developers just like going through them all. see It's like that movie, One Hour Photo with Robin williams and he starts like collecting photos, making double.
00:16:56
Kristen
Oh yeah.
00:16:58
Melanie & Kristen
how many How many people do you think did that for like questionable photos that people took without even thinking? Like I'm never going to see this person again.
00:17:07
Kristen
ah Yeah, I don't know.
00:17:08
Melanie & Kristen
It's not like doctor-patient confidentiality.
00:17:08
Kristen
I...
00:17:11
Melanie & Kristen
Like these people are looking at all your secrets. Exactly.
00:17:14
Kristen
Probably.
00:17:16
Melanie & Kristen
Oh,
00:17:16
Kristen
Okay. So that long segue to say that I don't think we had a wrestling team at my high school.
00:17:24
Melanie & Kristen
um look, we brought it back.
00:17:29
Melanie & Kristen
um Do you have any Year's resolutions?
00:17:34
Melanie & Kristen
Or do you believe in them? Okay.
00:17:36
Kristen
no i't I don't really believe in in New Year's resolutions, but i I think that I have, like, I have things that I aim for, but I have, like, very, I've learned that I have to be very specific with the things that I aim for.
00:17:51
Kristen
Like, I can't just blanket statement say, going to get healthy this year because for me, that leaves it, like, way too open.
00:18:02
Kristen
Like, I need concrete
00:18:02
Melanie & Kristen
Mm-hmm. Something specific.
00:18:04
Kristen
yeah, like I will walk at least, you know, three days a week on the treadmill or something like that where it's a very like, okay, you know, it's, it's tangible.
00:18:13
Melanie & Kristen
Mm-hmm.
00:18:16
Kristen
Like you're like, okay, I know this, it's not something that I have to like think about. It's just, you know, yeah. So that would be something. Um,
00:18:28
Kristen
I think I would like to read more. Like I like to read my books, but like read more quality stuff because I went through a phase where I was reading just a lot of like, cause I can read really fast. I will sit there um and spend two days reading a book and that's all I do. i like use the restroom and I read.
00:18:55
Kristen
i might eat some like finger foods.
00:18:55
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. I relate to that heavily, but I'm not reading anything of substance.
00:19:00
Kristen
so know
00:19:04
Kristen
It's hard sometimes, but I enjoy substance.
00:19:09
Melanie & Kristen
To read. Yeah. It's hard all the time for me to read things of substance.
00:19:15
Melanie & Kristen
I just want to read fun things, you know?
00:19:19
Kristen
Yeah. Can you read more than one book at a time? Like, can you?
00:19:23
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:19:24
Kristen
Okay. Okay.
00:19:25
Melanie & Kristen
I can read more more than one book at a time and listen to an audible. Like, you know what i mean?
00:19:32
Kristen
Yeah.
00:19:32
Melanie & Kristen
i'll on my commute to work, I'll listen to – it's a literary RPG book called The Primal Hunter.
00:19:42
Kristen
Mm-hmm.
00:19:42
Melanie & Kristen
And there's like 15 books and counting. Like he's not done – And I can listen to that and it's super nerdy. It's super nerdy. it's like who It's like um playing World of Warcraft.
00:20:00
Kristen
Sorry.
00:20:01
Melanie & Kristen
Kind of.
00:20:01
Kristen
i'm
00:20:01
Melanie & Kristen
You essentially get like the character you're following. There's a bunch of different characters. but they They get to pick like their their class and their profession and and there's like points that they earn for things.
00:20:14
Melanie & Kristen
It's a whole thing, you know, and i'm I'm not really into that in real life. But listening to this, I'm so like engrossed in it. Why are you laughing? Yeah.
00:20:23
Kristen
I'm sorry. I have my window open for the lighting. And I was watching this this man in a Tesla. And he was like slow rolling in front of my house.
00:20:38
Kristen
And was like, what's he My first thought is, is he from the HOA? Like, is he going to give us something for our grass that is like has bald spots all over?
00:20:50
Kristen
and And then I was like, oh, it's probably my Walmart um grocery delivery.
00:20:56
Melanie & Kristen
Never a rat.
00:20:56
Kristen
So the dog's going to be barking in it in a minute. um And well, who was I was laughing because he was slow rolling.
00:21:02
Melanie & Kristen
now what else
00:21:10
Kristen
And then he was like trying to like turn around and he was doing like a five point turn. to turn around and there was a car that was like, had already turned down the street again and then was waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. And then like, they thought he was gonna like make it because he had room, but he was like, no, no, let me back up some more. and And so I was like watching this dance of cars happening and I was laughing, sorry.
00:21:39
Kristen
like
00:21:40
Melanie & Kristen
That's okay.
00:21:41
Kristen
i get distracted, happens.
00:21:42
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:21:44
Kristen
and Let me tell Eddie to put the dog away.
Morning Routines and Hygiene
00:21:48
Kristen
Put dog away. Okay, there we go.
00:21:55
Kristen
This is a good idea.
00:22:00
Melanie & Kristen
We were talking about books.
00:22:04
Melanie & Kristen
And um you've heard of the 75 hard. Okay. okay That I think I would fail just because of the reading part, because you have to read a non nonfiction.
00:22:14
Kristen
Reading component.
00:22:20
Melanie & Kristen
I get them confused. Nonfiction. And I think that might kill me.
00:22:26
Kristen
10 pages. 10 pages.
00:22:27
Melanie & Kristen
I know. i know.
00:22:28
Kristen
Yeah.
00:22:29
Melanie & Kristen
a lot.
00:22:30
Kristen
That's a lot. Speaking of reading,
00:22:32
Melanie & Kristen
I was looking at my, oh yeah go ahead.
00:22:35
Kristen
I was going to say, I was watching, this man has a i don't know Instagram, TikTok, whatever. They're all one in the same. Like they're all getting shared everywhere.
00:22:46
Kristen
Um, but he is reading, i think it's Tolkien. don't
00:22:53
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
00:22:55
Kristen
know, but like, lord i think it was like Lord of the Rings books. Um, With a fifth grade reading level because he was never taught to read more than that.
00:23:08
Kristen
So it's him like struggling through but like persevering and he reads a chapter a day.
00:23:15
Melanie & Kristen
He chose the Lord of the Rings.
00:23:18
Kristen
I'm questioning his choices.
00:23:22
Melanie & Kristen
There are so many weird words.
00:23:29
Kristen
Well.
00:23:29
Melanie & Kristen
That's like if you want to make yourself feel bad. Like, like read that.
00:23:32
Kristen
Well, I think he even was like, what did I do to myself here?
00:23:36
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
00:23:37
Kristen
Yeah.
00:23:37
Melanie & Kristen
Might as well have chosen like Anna Karenina with all the Russian.
00:23:41
Kristen
that's happening I love that book. There's more French, I feel like, than Russian.
00:23:43
Melanie & Kristen
i know you too. Okay. Okay. So i i was going to say, um, last year I read 141 books and this year that was my goal was to read 141 because i did Lassner and I only made it to 122.
00:23:56
Kristen
You win.
00:24:02
Kristen
Oh, ah well.
00:24:03
Melanie & Kristen
That being said, it doesn't record my audible stuff.
00:24:04
Kristen
Disappointment.
00:24:06
Melanie & Kristen
So it could have been closer to I think I almost made it or I did make it.
00:24:07
Kristen
Oh.
00:24:12
Melanie & Kristen
It was close.
00:24:13
Kristen
Okay.
00:24:14
Kristen
Okay.
00:24:14
Melanie & Kristen
Um,
00:24:16
Melanie & Kristen
But yeah, that's where I'm at with reading. I'm in the hundreds.
00:24:21
Kristen
He did not, in fact, put the dog away.
00:24:24
Melanie & Kristen
No. Hashtag husbands.
00:24:28
Kristen
I swear. I mean...
00:24:29
Melanie & Kristen
I didn't have my phone on me.
00:24:37
Kristen
Should we reflect on the viral workout and fitness trends of last year and see if we're interested in doing any of those this year? Okay.
00:24:46
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, sure.
00:24:49
Kristen
Or did we want to continue talking about books?
00:24:54
Melanie & Kristen
Bucks. um No, we should, we could do fitness.
00:24:55
Kristen
Books.
00:24:57
Melanie & Kristen
its Is that one of the links I sent you? I don't even remember.
00:24:59
Kristen
Yes, it is. Yes, I'm going through our show notes.
00:25:01
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
00:25:03
Kristen
So, oh, we could probably include those in the show notes. We can do all the links that we discuss.
00:25:10
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. All right. Well, let's see. um Weighted vests, jujitsu training.
00:25:13
Kristen
That's Melanie's job to do.
00:25:16
Melanie & Kristen
And vibration plates offer accessible alternatives to traditional gym routines.
00:25:19
Kristen
Wait a minute.
00:25:22
Melanie & Kristen
What?
00:25:25
Kristen
Are we looking at the same article?
00:25:28
Melanie & Kristen
I clicked a little link. Yeah, five fitness trends that went viral. Right?
00:25:32
Kristen
Okay, well, I'm looking at, are you? Number one, I'm seeing 12, 330 treadmill trend.
00:25:47
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:25:49
Kristen
Jiu-jitsu is number, where are you?
00:25:52
Melanie & Kristen
It's the very first sentence on the page, Kristen.
00:25:57
Melanie & Kristen
I just hadn't scrolled down yet. You're ahead of me.
00:26:01
Melanie & Kristen
What are you
00:26:06
Melanie & Kristen
even reading? 12, 3, 30. Okay. What is that?
00:26:09
Kristen
I thought we were just going to skip to it. I didn't realize we were reading the entire article on that one.
00:26:13
Melanie & Kristen
i wasn't. I read the first sentence. I love our podcast.
00:26:23
Melanie & Kristen
Oh my gosh. Okay. 12, 330. at a 12% incline at three miles per hour for 30 minutes. Fun.
00:26:31
Kristen
Yeah.
00:26:32
Melanie & Kristen
That's a, that's a,
00:26:32
Kristen
I can't. I have a hard time with that because I have such small legs, like short, that three miles an hour is like booking it for me.
00:26:48
Melanie & Kristen
I just envisioned you like one of those like cats with the short arms.
00:26:55
Kristen
Essentially. No.
00:26:56
Melanie & Kristen
What are they called? They're like, i don't know. Can't say midget anymore, right?
00:27:02
Melanie & Kristen
Dwarf cats. No, it's not a dwarf cat.
00:27:04
Kristen
Oh, no, you can't say dwarf. You can say midget.
00:27:07
Melanie & Kristen
Little people cats.
00:27:08
Kristen
Little people cats, yeah.
00:27:14
Kristen
I don't know. This is great.
00:27:16
Melanie & Kristen
Um, God, we're so PC.
00:27:21
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, cool.
00:27:23
Kristen
Okay. I have tried it.
00:27:25
Melanie & Kristen
13 calories per minute. You have, you just, it's not but it's not walking for you.
00:27:28
Kristen
i have tried it, yeah. It's... that
00:27:31
Melanie & Kristen
It's like a light jog.
00:27:33
Kristen
I literally, at that incline, yeah, it's like I'm, it's like almost like a gallop.
00:27:47
Kristen
yeah. It's
00:27:48
Melanie & Kristen
Like you have more than two legs.
00:27:51
Kristen
really fast. That's
00:27:55
Melanie & Kristen
Well, yeah.
00:27:58
Kristen
a high incline.
00:27:59
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. Well, um, you were.
00:28:01
Kristen
There's short little steps, so it's like,
00:28:02
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. Okay.
00:28:05
Kristen
So, yeah.
00:28:05
Melanie & Kristen
So it's like, like, if if like a little elf decided to go on the treadmill.
00:28:11
Kristen
Sure.
00:28:12
Melanie & Kristen
Or like um Fred Flintstone when he's getting ready to bowl.
The Jiu-Jitsu Craze
00:28:19
Kristen
Or drive or anything. Yeah.
00:28:20
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, or anything. When he's getting ready for anything. Okay.
00:28:24
Kristen
Literally anything. Yes.
00:28:28
Kristen
I do have the Flintstone feet.
00:28:32
Melanie & Kristen
okay
00:28:32
Kristen
So, yeah. Yeah.
00:28:33
Melanie & Kristen
You're like weirdly confident about your feet.
00:28:36
Kristen
I have very cute feet.
00:28:39
Melanie & Kristen
I've heard you say that so many times.
00:28:41
Kristen
I've been told it.
00:28:43
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. So this is saying that
00:28:49
Melanie & Kristen
you burned 13 calories per minute versus 10 calories per minute for that treadmill thing. ah Yeah, this feels like I've never heard of this.
00:28:58
Kristen
Mm-hmm. The first time I heard about this was years ago, actually. And it was Stassi. stasi Oh yeah, no Stassi from Vanderpump Rules like back in the day, which I don't even know if you're going to know that reference.
00:29:16
Melanie & Kristen
I think i I know who that is because you've you've compared you've compared Emma to her, right?
00:29:19
Kristen
It's my birthday.
00:29:24
Melanie & Kristen
They're
00:29:24
Kristen
Yes, I think they look alike. Yeah, but they also act alike. It's my birthday.
00:29:29
Melanie & Kristen
the same people.
00:29:33
Kristen
You'll have to look that up later.
00:29:35
Melanie & Kristen
I feel like I just need to watch to the show now so I can like be on your level. All
00:29:41
Kristen
Yes, I think I think the first few seasons of banner pump was really funny and then the one that we were talking about it's not about the pasta that's like later on she wasn't even on the show at that point she got kicked off the show, but now she's like the most famous and has her own show so
00:29:41
Melanie & Kristen
right.
00:29:57
Melanie & Kristen
Thank you.
00:30:00
Melanie & Kristen
I'm sorry, I'm reading this and it was it made me laugh. this um Maylee Wells Sutton, a certified personal trainer at Crunch Fitness in New York, previously told Fox News Digital, it's no surprise that higher intensity running burns calories faster.
00:30:18
Melanie & Kristen
Running at 12, 3.30 is certainly more intense than walking on a flat surface, but it's less intense than a run, she noted. like it's like, well, obviously you're going to burn...
00:30:28
Kristen
Did AI write this? Okay.
00:30:32
Melanie & Kristen
Probably. I think it's funny that it's like, well, obviously you're going to burn calories more if you move more.
00:30:34
Kristen
So
00:30:41
Melanie & Kristen
Weighted vests. Number two.
00:30:43
Kristen
okay I do have a weighted vest and I've had my weighted vest for like five years.
00:30:45
Melanie & Kristen
You have a weighted vest.
00:30:50
Kristen
So again, I feel like the trends from last year, i was on those trends long ago.
00:30:58
Melanie & Kristen
I feel like, yeah, I mean... I know what a white vest is, but I don't remember it being like a trend, you know?
00:31:09
Kristen
My algorithm has just been what it is. i guess my algorithm has been on trend for a while. Now, I was watching a lady who was, I think she had lost a bunch of weight, but this was like years ago, but she was using like...
00:31:26
Kristen
heavy do duty do like 60 pound vest or like the ones that you can like take the weights out or add them in or whatever. So she started or she bought the big one, but like with removable weights and she started at very little weight. And then as time went on, she kept adding to it until she got to like, she wears a 60 pound vest. And I'm like, you go girl.
00:31:47
Melanie & Kristen
i think I think that we invested were a thing when the biggest loser was a thing.
00:31:47
Kristen
Minus 12.
00:31:54
Melanie & Kristen
Because what they would do at the end of like the season is they would make all this now skinny people wear all of their fat again and in like a weighted vest.
00:32:01
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:03
Melanie & Kristen
They're like, oh, here's, you know, 80 pounds that you lost, wear it and hike up this mountain. This
00:32:10
Kristen
Yeah. it's It's intense.
00:32:12
Melanie & Kristen
is showbiz.
00:32:15
Kristen
Yeah. Oh my gosh. There's that whole documentary now about the biggest loser coaches being like scary. don't know.
00:32:25
Melanie & Kristen
What do you mean? They were always scary. Nobody liked them.
00:32:29
Kristen
Well, yeah, but like now like the contestants are like, oh my gosh, they ruined my life by making me skinny in a mean way.
00:32:37
Melanie & Kristen
They yelled at me.
00:32:40
Kristen
I was
00:32:40
Melanie & Kristen
And I'm just like sensitive. Jiu-jitsu, family fitness and self-defense. There it is. There's you there's the jujitsu. Okay.
00:32:49
Kristen
going to say, let's do like, okay, so treadmill trend. Would you be willing to try that treadmill trend? You have a treadmill.
00:33:04
Melanie & Kristen
Maybe. 12, 30 minutes.
00:33:08
Kristen
Yeah.
00:33:08
Melanie & Kristen
Jeez. I don't even know if my, I don't even know if my treadmill goes to 12 incline. I think it only goes to 10.
00:33:16
Kristen
Okay, well, you can start somewhere. You can start 10. You'd have to go to 3.5.
00:33:19
Melanie & Kristen
Start at 10 and then stay at 10.
00:33:19
Kristen
Maybe.
00:33:21
Melanie & Kristen
It's not going to go anywhere else. Start at 10. Start at 10, then what? Like, and then take something and put something underneath my treadmill. So no, um,
00:33:30
Kristen
ah way
00:33:33
Melanie & Kristen
That seems like it would hurt me, that it would give me shins once.
00:33:38
Kristen
Oh.
00:33:40
Kristen
If you're walking?
00:33:43
Melanie & Kristen
At a 12% incline, I don't know. Anyway, I think what I'm currently doing is pretty good.
00:33:55
Melanie & Kristen
um We do weightlifting and then I do and a mile of walking. And I do that Japanese walking style thing.
00:34:05
Kristen
Please explain, I don't know what this and what this is
00:34:07
Melanie & Kristen
Or just kind of... It's Japanese or another kind of Asian. I don't remember.
00:34:19
Melanie & Kristen
and Okay. It's where you... walk at like a regular pace for three minutes. And then for the next three minutes, you do like fast walking and then you just alternate.
00:34:32
Melanie & Kristen
And that's supposed to it's like, yeah, but not like that.
00:34:34
Kristen
parahu All right.
00:34:43
Melanie & Kristen
No. But yeah, it's supposed to be like intermittent. That's not the right word. But you know what i mean? Like HIIT training or something. Like where you go fast and then you go back down and it, I don't know, tricks your body into thinking you're doing something more than you are.
00:34:55
Melanie & Kristen
And that's where I'm at in my life, tricking my body.
00:34:59
Kristen
all right
00:35:01
Melanie & Kristen
Jiu-jitsu for family fitness and self-defense. Who's doing that? Oh, Ivanka Trump. That's why. Ivanka and Giselle Bündchen. This seems like a rich people thing.
00:35:14
Melanie & Kristen
let's Let's our whole family.
00:35:15
Kristen
It is very expensive, i will say.
00:35:17
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, let's let's our whole family just do jujitsu.
00:35:22
Kristen
Have you seen the videos?
00:35:23
Melanie & Kristen
As a life skill.
00:35:24
Kristen
Have you seen the videos of, like, the guys doing jujitsu?
00:35:29
Melanie & Kristen
No.
00:35:29
Kristen
And they're like, tell me you're gay without telling me you're gay.
00:35:33
Melanie & Kristen
but
00:35:36
Kristen
Because the grappling gets...
00:35:54
Melanie & Kristen
Oh my gosh. Oh, they also have like a number thing. It's Jujitsu. They described Jujitsu. Ivanka and her family described Jujitsu as a physical, mental, and emotional practice grounded in their 753 code.
00:36:10
Kristen
What that is, we don't know.
00:36:12
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:36:12
Kristen
who but
00:36:12
Melanie & Kristen
Philosophy aimed at spiritual, mental, and physical wellness.
00:36:15
Kristen
I have three code.
00:36:16
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:36:18
Kristen
Okay. got to look that up now.
00:36:20
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, what is that? 753 code.
00:36:23
Kristen
Oh, it's a martial arts philosophy, particularly in BJJ, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and karate.
00:36:31
Melanie & Kristen
pres Brazil.
00:36:31
Kristen
you It's arrived.
00:36:37
Melanie & Kristen
Did you ever watch that?
00:36:40
Melanie & Kristen
Brazil. I can't tell.
00:36:44
Kristen
Are you talking about the, like, the Miss Universe or something? Or no?
00:36:47
Melanie & Kristen
No, um it was Bob's Burgers.
00:36:50
Kristen
Oh, yeah, no.
00:36:50
Melanie & Kristen
yeah
00:36:50
Kristen
I had a completely different friend.
00:36:52
Melanie & Kristen
And Tina, Tina's like, i want to learn, I want to learn Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, whatever. Oh, what was it? um Capoeira.
00:37:06
Melanie & Kristen
And the teacher the whole time is just like, Brazil.
00:37:11
Melanie & Kristen
It's like whipping his hair. Brazil. Okay, sorry. tell me Tell me about the code.
00:37:20
Kristen
Can you go back to whence you came? Like, go back. Okay. It's the dog. um All right. So, particularly in BJJ and karate, derived from the samurai's bushido, focusing on holistic wellness through seven virtues, rectitude, courage,
00:37:44
Kristen
benevolence, politeness, honesty, honor, and loyalty. So that's the seven virtues. And then the five keys to health, nutrition, exercise, rest, hygiene, positivity, and three states of mind, which I have no...
00:37:59
Kristen
it Dog, you're...
00:38:00
Melanie & Kristen
Is it spiritual, mental, and physical wellness?
00:38:02
Kristen
parting
00:38:05
Kristen
Kind of. Zanshin, moonshin, and furushin. For a balanced life. Oh, wait. Maybe there's more down here. Let me see. Five keys. Oh, yes. Zanshin. Alertness. Sustained awareness.
00:38:17
Kristen
Moonshin. Looks like moonshine, but not. A mind without thought. No mind. Got that one covered.
00:38:24
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:38:26
Kristen
And furushin. Immovable mind. Emotional balance. Developed by the Valente brothers. Yeah.
00:38:36
Kristen
Here I am thinking it's some some like ancient code of you know whatever.
00:38:39
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, no.
00:38:40
Kristen
now the Valente brothers.
Family Morning Routines
00:38:44
Melanie & Kristen
um Oh my gosh.
00:38:46
Kristen
But like for, I mean, I think that's a really good thing. Like rectitude, moral correctness, doing the right thing. I kind of like that. The whole, the seven virtues, the five keys to health, proper hygiene. love how they have proper hygiene.
00:39:02
Kristen
Do you have a hard time
00:39:02
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. You have to tell people to like take a shower. Yeah.
00:39:07
Kristen
Well, I have a hard time with stuff like that. And and I noticed that with my kids too. Like I remember being probably 10 at a Christmas and Aunt Barb coming up to me and going like, give me a hug and then going, are we just like doing showers optional?
00:39:29
Kristen
It's like, okay, B. too.
00:39:30
Melanie & Kristen
She is so funny.
00:39:31
Kristen
Um,
00:39:34
Melanie & Kristen
love her so much. Now we're so emotional.
00:39:35
Kristen
you too um I mean, she's also the only one who ever gave me like clay mud masks for my acne. And, you know, I love her.
00:39:47
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:39:47
Kristen
And gap sweaters. Oh, she like got me like the best gap sweaters and like a gap dress. and I remember. I love those.
00:39:54
Melanie & Kristen
You were like lived in gap clothes.
00:39:54
Kristen
Anyway.
00:39:56
Kristen
It was a big thing. uh, Gap clothes. And people were just talking about like, bring me back to the nineties, like nineties fragrances. And it was like all the Bath and Body Works lotions and Gap dream, Gap dream, um, perfume, perfume.
00:40:08
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:40:14
Kristen
Um, I was like, Oh my gosh. Yes. I had that. I wore it. I loved it. But anyway, I like this seven five three code So anyway, I might,
00:40:24
Melanie & Kristen
Do you remember the Hollister Malaya perfume?
00:40:29
Kristen
I just remember Hollister being like you walk in and you're punched in the face with whatever fragrances they were selling. I don't know the names of them specifically.
00:40:38
Melanie & Kristen
Malaya, they i remember i they sold it with like the old style like ch-ch on the end, the little like ch-ch.
00:40:43
Kristen
Oh, yeah, no.
00:40:46
Melanie & Kristen
And I was like, yes, please. And it smells so good.
00:40:51
Kristen
Oh.
00:40:51
Melanie & Kristen
The end. um All right.
00:40:52
Kristen
Hmm. But what i was talking about was hygiene. Like, do you have a hard time ever with hygiene? That's a very, like, typical.
00:41:00
Melanie & Kristen
If I have nowhere to be, yeah, I'm not doing anything, you know? But if I'm working out, I'm going to shower afterwards. Like I don't sit in it. You know what i mean?
00:41:15
Kristen
Hmm. Okay.
00:41:16
Melanie & Kristen
to you? i mean, i listen, I will sit in it for a little bit and then and then when I get to it, I'll take a shower. But like I'm not going to not take a shower that day, you know?
00:41:32
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, so you disagree.
00:41:34
Kristen
No, I don't disagree.
00:41:35
Melanie & Kristen
Good job.
00:41:35
Kristen
i just don't shower every day because I have – I'm not not saying that's the right thing. I'm just saying I have a hard time sometimes.
00:41:42
Melanie & Kristen
Even if you're working on it, it's sweaty.
00:41:43
Kristen
And I think – well, I dry off, so.
00:41:44
Melanie & Kristen
I don't like the feeling. i don't like the feeling of, and I don't like smelling. i have like this weird thing, like like I don't want to smell, so I, i you know what I mean?
00:41:58
Kristen
I think that's why most people have personal hygiene. Like they keep it up so they don't smell.
00:42:03
Melanie & Kristen
I just, i just like would like, when I was younger, I would over-perfume myself because I just, like, I'm so worried about it, you know, even though I was clean.
00:42:11
Kristen
overcompensate for like, got it.
00:42:12
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah. ma
00:42:17
Kristen
Well, I, okay. So people have described like the issues with the hygiene and I never thought it was an issue before until I heard people say like, do you ever like put off taking a shower because you know, there's so many steps involved.
00:42:34
Melanie & Kristen
Yes.
00:42:34
Kristen
And I was like, oh, well, there it is. That's what it is. Because I know if I take a shower and my hair gets wet.
00:42:40
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:42:45
Kristen
And okay so back in the day, I had really thick hair.
00:42:45
Melanie & Kristen
Mm-hmm.
00:42:48
Kristen
It's not as thick as it used to be. I've lost like probably half the volume of my hair. And it would take like I would wash my hair at night. I would sleep on it. It would be wet until like noon the next day. Like it just stayed wet.
00:43:02
Kristen
which is kind of gross now that like i I've learned like, you know, bacteria and like mold can grow on your scalp.
00:43:07
Melanie & Kristen
Mold, yeah. Yum.
00:43:11
Kristen
So,
00:43:11
Melanie & Kristen
I never had that problem.
00:43:13
Kristen
yeah so I'm like, yeah.
00:43:15
Melanie & Kristen
It's always been pretty, like, fine and thin.
00:43:19
Kristen
um So, but that was the thing. It's like, well, if I do this and I know I have this step, this step, this step, this step, like I have to like, or I, you know, I'll need to dry my hair, you know, as an adult, I have to, I'm gonna have to like get the blow dryer out and dry my hair and,
00:43:33
Kristen
So then I swapped to – I'll do like a quick body shower because i can do quick ones. Like, you know, we're talking you like under five minutes. They do not need to be long.
00:43:44
Kristen
Like, save the planet. Like, let's get in. Let's get out. My husband can't do that to save his life. He has the same routine if he takes a shower at night as if he takes a shower like at night.
00:43:51
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, mine too.
00:43:54
Kristen
And then again, five hours later in the morning and it's the same thing and where he's like scrubbing his feet. And I'm like, did your feet get dirty? Like, walking in your slippers from the like shower to the bed and back like I don't understand he's like I
00:44:09
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, mine will shower before workout and then after a workout and then like later that night.
00:44:17
Melanie & Kristen
I don't know. My philosophy is why are you taking a shower before you're going get sweaty and gross?
00:44:18
Kristen
okay before you get yeah
00:44:24
Melanie & Kristen
That doesn't make any sense. Well, I want to shower so when I put on my clean workout clothes, it's not like – but you're going to get sweaty. i don't understand.
Physical Therapy and Wellbeing
00:44:34
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:44:35
Kristen
I don't get that one either. but
00:44:37
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, it's a weird it's a weird compulsion, but...
00:44:37
Kristen
i don't think Eddie will do that. Yeah, I get it. i mean, I get it from his perspective. I don't get it from my own, but like I can understand it from like, yeah.
00:44:53
Melanie & Kristen
Let's move on to number four, TikTok's 50 jump wake up ritual, which I think is just literally waking up in the morning and then you jump 50 times and that's what it is.
00:44:54
Kristen
Okay.
00:45:04
Kristen
Does that have to do with like lymphatic drainage and all that stuff? Oh, oxygen to your brain and blood flow.
00:45:08
Melanie & Kristen
Well, it says, it says, and um Catherine Smith, creator of the trend, creator of the jumping, um admitted that she's not naturally disciplined.
00:45:11
Kristen
Okay.
00:45:18
Melanie & Kristen
She says, I'm a lazy person by nature. I always have been. i'm I'm never gonna, or I'm never gonna do something that I don't want to do, she says in a TikTok clip.
00:45:30
Melanie & Kristen
How I've gotten to the point I am right now has been very, very, very baby steps. That's not grammatically correct. so the first thing So the first thing is morning jumping. What I do when I get out of bed, my feet touch the ground. I jump 50 times.
00:45:49
Melanie & Kristen
is she like Is this like English as a second language? like Or did they just misquote her?
00:45:55
Kristen
Catherine Smith?
00:45:56
Melanie & Kristen
what a
00:45:57
Kristen
i don't know. It looks pretty Anglo. Like Anglo.
00:45:59
Melanie & Kristen
All I'm saying is that... She credits the habit for providing a quick mental lift. How do you get oxygen to your brain? Increase your blood flow. How do you increase your blood flow?
00:46:09
Melanie & Kristen
Increase your heart rate. Jump up and down.
00:46:12
Kristen
Okay, question for you.
00:46:13
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:46:15
Kristen
When you wake up in the morning, this is also, this is going to be tied to like the hygiene thing in my eyes.
00:46:17
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:46:22
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, okay. Okay.
00:46:23
Kristen
Do you have to stay in bed for a little bit? Or do you just like, I'm up, I'm out of bed?
00:46:34
Melanie & Kristen
It depends on how tired I feel when I wake up. If it's like – okay.
00:46:38
Kristen
On an average day,
00:46:40
Melanie & Kristen
When I wake up, I kind of like spend a second like getting my eyes to open. So maybe I'm laying in bed for an extra like 10 minutes or something. and then And then once I'm awake, I'm like, can't be here.
00:46:54
Melanie & Kristen
i can't be here anymore. I'm done.
00:46:56
Kristen
So you need a 10 minute, 10 minutes to open your eyes.
00:46:56
Melanie & Kristen
I'm done laying in the bed.
00:46:59
Melanie & Kristen
to like acknowledge To like acknowledge that I'm done sleeping.
00:47:03
Kristen
Okay.
00:47:04
Kristen
So that's a trend. You need a transition time. Like that's, that's your transition time.
00:47:04
Melanie & Kristen
It's kind of like a, yeah.
00:47:09
Melanie & Kristen
Sometimes it's not though. Sometimes like if the sun comes in through the window and it touches my eyelids, I'm like, well, I'm up, you know?
00:47:17
Kristen
But are you out of bed when you're up?
00:47:21
Melanie & Kristen
I don't like to spend a lot of time in the bed now. Like I just need some kind of something to, it's more of like acknowledging that, that sleeping is over, you know?
00:47:25
Kristen
Hmm.
00:47:33
Melanie & Kristen
It's like, like mourning the loss.
00:47:34
Kristen
mourning the loss of your sleep.
00:47:36
Melanie & Kristen
Exactly. That's exactly what it is. Mourning the loss because I know that I'm not going to be staying in the bed, you know? um so I, yeah, I get up, I like stretch out my neck and it pops every time, every morning.
00:47:53
Kristen
Nice.
00:47:53
Melanie & Kristen
I do like one of these. I put my hands behind my back and then I click this and it goes pop.
00:47:57
Kristen
Oh, that's good.
00:47:58
Melanie & Kristen
And then I like that and then it pops this side. because I don't sleep correctly. they' like in the position that I sleep and I put my hand under my pillow, but it like, I think it just like hyper extends my shoulder or something.
00:48:06
Kristen
L5s1.
00:48:10
Melanie & Kristen
Also like my knee is up and then I gotta to like do my back. I saw something on Tik TOK or something, Instagram reels. And it's this physical therapist lady,
00:48:25
Melanie & Kristen
And she was like, oh if you have this certain back pain where it's like the sciatic nerve pain, um like through your butt cheek and down your leg, it is it has more to do with the front muscle, like in your hip.
00:48:35
Kristen
l five s one
00:48:42
Melanie & Kristen
So you need to release the tension in that. And it will. And then you can start doing the exercises that like everyone says you should do. Because if you don't do that first, it's not going to do anything.
00:48:55
Melanie & Kristen
And she's like, I've created this tool. And the tool is essentially this hook thing.
00:48:59
Kristen
The hook thing.
00:49:00
Melanie & Kristen
ah
00:49:01
Kristen
Yeah.
00:49:02
Melanie & Kristen
I saw somebody do it. And it's like this skinny person. And so you can like see everything.
00:49:08
Melanie & Kristen
and i'm like that looks painful like it's just like it like if i don't even know like it's like hammer and i like
00:49:09
Kristen
It
00:49:14
Kristen
goes around the pelvis, yeah.
00:49:20
Kristen
Do you remember when Emma had physical therapy for like months because of her hips?
00:49:24
Melanie & Kristen
yeah was that one of the things does it hurt
00:49:25
Kristen
Well, no, she didn't use the hook, but they essentially were doing the same thing in physical therapy um for like for the same reasons. Like her stuff was.
00:49:40
Kristen
her muscles or her tendons were too tight.
00:49:41
Melanie & Kristen
Mm-hmm.
00:49:42
Kristen
What was happening is she was, um, they were so like tightened and like shortened that they were pulling the pelvis in on one
Fitness and Lymphatic Health
00:49:51
Kristen
side, kind of like,
00:49:53
Kristen
having it, okay, if it's like this normally, one side was like pulled in a little bit. So it was like making her like completely off balance to the point where her pediatrician was like, it looks like she has some scoliosis. Turns out she doesn't have scoliosis. It was just because her hip was so turned inward that it was affecting like
00:50:18
Kristen
everything else. But I think Eddie has that problem too, but he's got the whole back issue.
00:50:23
Melanie & Kristen
I think I have that problem. Also, I don't know if i told you this, but when when you were talking about how she might have scoliosis and you didn't know the actual verdict yet, I had told Aunt Barb and everyone and Shane was in the room and he was like, no, thing she doesn't have it.
00:50:37
Kristen
I remember him. And Shane was like, no, she doesn't.
00:50:40
Melanie & Kristen
I have scoliosis and I know things. She doesn't have it. He was fucking right. let's it
00:50:48
Kristen
hasn't seen her. It's like,
00:50:49
Melanie & Kristen
He just knows things, Kristen.
00:50:53
Kristen
He goes, the colors speak to me and they say no. Or the numbers.
00:50:58
Melanie & Kristen
He was right though. That's all I'm saying.
00:51:00
Kristen
Well, I mean, to be fair, she did have like very minor, but like not enough for them to do anything about it is what they said. So, I mean, technically she does have it, but it was very minuscule.
00:51:13
Melanie & Kristen
I feel like that looks very painful to do the hook thing. When I saw the guy do it, was like, oh, No.
00:51:18
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
00:51:22
Melanie & Kristen
now
00:51:22
Kristen
Well, I think you can get the same kind of idea. Like, well, what they were doing is, they you know, like those handballs, like the small, like for that, you know, against a board handball.
00:51:31
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, yeah,
00:51:34
Kristen
They're like, take one of those and like go up to a wall and basically, or like on the floor. No, that's what it was, like on the floor and roll over it, like on that spot.
00:51:44
Melanie & Kristen
yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:51:46
Kristen
And it is painful. Yeah. It's like foam rolling when you have like the tightness, like in your IT band. Sucks.
00:51:56
Melanie & Kristen
Yep.
00:51:57
Kristen
Okay. um So what I was going to say is I have a really hard time getting up in the morning. So I can't imagine like jumping.
00:52:06
Melanie & Kristen
jumping immediately afterwards.
00:52:08
Kristen
No, it would not happen. Eddie.
00:52:10
Melanie & Kristen
Also, like I'm not wearing a bra. So it's just going to be like, yeah, that doesn't sound fun.
00:52:20
Kristen
I mean, not for us. Maybe for our husbands. Might enjoy it. Sorry, kids.
00:52:27
Melanie & Kristen
Also, like my bedroom's upstairs. So I can just imagine it's just like,
00:52:35
Melanie & Kristen
The dogs are going to get riled up. Like, no, that sounds like a terrible plan.
00:52:38
Kristen
Yeah, I know. Okay, but... This is where I thought of like, I like there, there's something different between the two of us with my husband and myself, because he, the alarm goes off.
00:52:49
Kristen
He sits up right away and he's out of bed within 30 seconds.
00:52:55
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, no, I don't do that.
00:52:56
Kristen
and I mean, it's, um I'm just like, I'm like, I've been awake for 20 minutes laying here and I'm still not ready to get out of bed.
00:52:59
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:53:05
Kristen
So it's, it's definitely different. And then I was thinking like, gosh, did i was I like that when I was younger? And it wasn't to that. length of time, but I do have memories of waking up to a radio alarm clock and I would listen to K-Rock.
00:53:13
Melanie & Kristen
you were. if
00:53:22
Kristen
And i would allow myself a certain like amount of time before I had to get up. So, you know, like commercials are usually like scheduled at certain times. So my alarm went off in between the commercial times. So I would always like be on a song when I would wake up.
00:53:39
Kristen
And so I would finish whatever song started and then I would listen to one more song. And that's what I was like, and now I have to get up. Like, and I was like, oh my God, I did that for years.
00:53:54
Kristen
And I never thought that was like a like has a hard time with transitions. I always thought that was just normal until I met my husband who just jumps out of bed. And I'm like, what's wrong with you? Why are you weird?
00:54:06
Kristen
Turns out I'm the weird one.
00:54:06
Melanie & Kristen
What's going on? yeah Aunt Barb will set alarms. I don't know why she does it because she doesn't get out of the bed when the alarm goes off. She'll just snooze it. She like, she's literally said, I scoop it up and I hold it next to me and I snooze the button and then 10 minutes ago off. I snooze it again. 10 minutes ago, I snooze it again.
00:54:25
Melanie & Kristen
So why even set the alarm? Just wake up when you want to wake up when your body wants to wake up, you know?
00:54:34
Kristen
my aunt barb would like sleep until like noon a lot or like 10 i just i remember her yeah
00:54:38
Melanie & Kristen
They're big nighttime people though. So i feel like it's not as crazy sounding when you know that they're staying up pretty late, you know?
00:54:46
Kristen
i think i read that the average like sleep cycle for a neurodivergent person like or not the average but like the most normal for like for their brains is 2 a.m until 10 a.m m sleeping and I was like okay I can see that like I can if I stay up long enough I can do that but I've had to get up so long so early because the kids in high school here so like they have to be up by six and so I have to get up by six because i don't have to worry about Emma
00:55:21
Kristen
But Nathan asked me how many times I've woken him up. Like, hello. He's like, oh, I'm up. You weren't up, bro.
00:55:31
Melanie & Kristen
dad used to come into my bedroom and and then like quietly like as soon as he opens the door like a whisper of like a whatever a sound i was awake but i was like if i keep my eyes closed i can i can go back to sleep right but he would like
00:55:31
Kristen
Hmm.
00:55:45
Melanie & Kristen
tiptoe in and go over to the shutters and open those motherfuckers. And I'd be like, and he'd be like, okay, bye. i love you. And I'm like, I love you too. Can you close the blinds?
00:55:57
Melanie & Kristen
Every single time, every morning, like take a hint, you know?
00:55:57
Kristen
now
00:56:01
Kristen
Well, think about how sweet it was that he would come in and wake you up.
00:56:05
Melanie & Kristen
It was, and I told him I really appreciate it, which is why he kept doing it. That was something about dad that i really that I really like and I try to emulate, is that when you would tell him that something was important to you, he would do that thing and make sure that, you know?
00:56:09
Kristen
Oh.
00:56:15
Kristen
Mm-hmm.
00:56:21
Kristen
Oh.
00:56:24
Kristen
Yeah.
00:56:25
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. To his detriment sometimes.
00:56:26
Kristen
He would... He would always, well, yeah, let's say he would always, like, come in and say goodbye, like, before he left.
00:56:28
Melanie & Kristen
But...
00:56:36
Kristen
Or, like, if he got home, I think he would come in and say, like, goodnight. And I learned that, yeah, not everyone, oh gosh, not everyone says i love you as much as our family said it.
00:56:49
Melanie & Kristen
I was annoyed that Eric didn't say it as as often as I said it in the beginning. and he was like, you say it a lot. was
Body Shapes and Circulation
00:56:58
Melanie & Kristen
like, no, I say it normal amount.
00:56:58
Kristen
I love you.
00:57:00
Kristen
I love you.
00:57:00
Melanie & Kristen
The normal amount.
00:57:02
Melanie & Kristen
It was normal. When you get off the phone, you say, okay, I love you. a bye-bye. and you'd be like, okay, bye. I'm like, excuse me.
00:57:12
Kristen
How dare you exit that conversation so rudely.
00:57:13
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. yeah Yeah. Like, what? it Are you mad at me? Are we fighting?
00:57:22
Kristen
If we weren't before, we are now. Yeah.
00:57:24
Melanie & Kristen
yeah we're fighting.
00:57:27
Kristen
yeah
00:57:28
Melanie & Kristen
No, he's learned.
00:57:31
Kristen
so So, yeah. So, it was... oh Yeah. Okay. I had a funny story about Nathan as ah as a toddler, but, I mean, it was just about opening the curtains.
00:57:43
Kristen
He would come in, oh dark 30. It would be, like, 6 or before, and Before he would just like wake me up and I'd be like, can you not? Like, it's really early.
00:57:57
Kristen
And then he moved to like going over to the, we had a slider door in our master at our old house with curtains and the sun would come in every morning and he would move the curtains, kind of like what dad would do with you, but he would move the curtains. So it would just, you know, go right into my eye.
00:58:20
Kristen
And then when I was like, oh you know, he'd be like, oh, good. You're awake.
00:58:27
Melanie & Kristen
You're up.
00:58:29
Kristen
Could you possibly turn on the TV for me? was like, and he was still wearing like pull-ups.
00:58:32
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, my gosh. That's funny.
00:58:37
Kristen
So like he, I have to preface that by saying he had a very extensive vocabulary. Like at two, he was speaking in paragraphs and using words like actually when correcting people. so
00:58:53
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
00:58:53
Kristen
Surprise, surprise, you're awake now. you help me with that? Thanks. hey Honey, sweetie pie.
00:59:02
Melanie & Kristen
all right well we're on the last one so let's just get through this vibration please you have one oh how do you like it
00:59:12
Kristen
I just got one for Christmas, yeah.
00:59:15
Kristen
I like it. So it was really funny to me that, you know, once Christmas happened, was seeing all these memes with like the perimenopausal women in their forty s that are, you know,
00:59:31
Kristen
It's like, how is your Christmas going? Like kids in the nineties. Um, and it's like the ladies on the vibration plate, wearing the weighted vest, wearing like the, the red light mask, which I'm like, Oh, mother's day, mother's day. We'll we'll get that. We'll have the trifecta.
00:59:47
Kristen
And, uh, so yeah, I'm waiting for
00:59:48
Melanie & Kristen
What does that mask do?
00:59:50
Kristen
What does the mask do? Well, red light therapy is supposed to help with like inflammation. red light is supposed to be good for like bacteria. So like possibly helping with like breakouts. You don't have that problem.
01:00:03
Kristen
I've never not had that problem. So different strokes.
01:00:10
Kristen
But I do like the vibration plate.
01:00:12
Melanie & Kristen
I don't like it because it just going to make all my fat shake in front of people.
01:00:18
Kristen
Well, I don't do it in, mean, I do it front of my kids because they all come in and, in well, they all do it too. So it's like, they are funny.
01:00:28
Melanie & Kristen
they don't have any eyes They don't have anything that jiggles on their body.
01:00:30
Kristen
They what?
01:00:34
Kristen
They, well, no, but it's, it's still like, i mean, they don't, they don't judge.
01:00:34
Melanie & Kristen
itp
01:00:37
Melanie & Kristen
Maybe boobs.
01:00:42
Kristen
They just sit there and wait their turn. They all enjoy it. So, um,
01:00:47
Melanie & Kristen
Take a ride at Disneyland.
01:00:50
Kristen
Kind of, but it was interesting because I was, I'm like, is this just like a gimmick? Like legitimately, I'm like, is this worth it? Or is this just stupid? I don't know. um But the amount that i had to urinate after using it the first few times, it led me to be like, oh, I wonder if this is like inflammation leaving my body.
01:01:15
Kristen
Like, I don't know why that would be, i don't know.
01:01:16
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:01:19
Kristen
Someone can correct me.
01:01:20
Melanie & Kristen
Uncle Jeff would just take Mobic, like a, calls it Mobic.
01:01:23
Kristen
A what?
01:01:25
Melanie & Kristen
I think it's short for something. It's like meloxicam for inflammation. Anyway, he just has a pharmacy at his house.
01:01:32
Kristen
Oh. Yeah, I don't go to the doctor. Yeah, I don't go to the doctor.
01:01:36
Melanie & Kristen
Like, I'm feeling inflamed. He's like, oh, he like gets like this giant pill thing and opens it up. And he's like, well, what do you want? got this. I got this. All right. Well,
01:01:47
Kristen
Let's read through the vibration plate thing because we didn't read through that.
01:01:47
Melanie & Kristen
ah
01:01:50
Kristen
Okay.
01:01:50
Melanie & Kristen
Why don't you do it?
01:01:52
Kristen
So vibration plates, platforms that use whole body vibration are trending as a potential shortcut for fat loss and strength. Let's see here. Using constant muscle contracting and relaxing, the machines may help with strength, flexibility, circulation, and
Family Traditions and 'I Love You'
01:02:09
Kristen
bone mass, according to fitness tutorials. Experts also warn that the plates are no substitute for the basics of good health, like regular exercise and a healthy diet.
01:02:20
Melanie & Kristen
Surprise, surprise.
01:02:20
Kristen
aye Nick Wilson, a fitness trainer at F45 Training in Hollywood, California, previously noted that vibration plates can indeed boost neuromuscular demand, forcing muscles to contract more frequently, and that even 10 to 15-minute sessions can offer some benefit.
01:02:39
Kristen
While they enhance muscle activation, vibration plates alone are not a high-calorie burning workout. Not according to my plate. That thing says I burn like 800 calories in 10 minutes and I'm like, don't know if I believe you.
01:02:52
Melanie & Kristen
With my Fitbit, it says.
01:02:55
Kristen
Oh my gosh. So it says it does not replace cardio or strength training for weight loss or conditioning. But some research suggests that vibration plates may help support weight loss when paired with calorie reduction. Surprise, surprise. And could also help to reduce back pain and high blood pressure.
01:03:15
Melanie & Kristen
I wonder though, like if you just removed the plate and did all the other things it's saying to do, like, you know, eating better reducing your calories, it would still reduce your blood pressure and help with back pain.
01:03:24
Kristen
Well, 100%. Okay,
01:03:30
Kristen
okay but the reason, I don't know.
01:03:34
Kristen
Yes, I guess, but...
01:03:37
Melanie & Kristen
Like, yes.
01:03:37
Kristen
but we're
01:03:39
Melanie & Kristen
Like a hundred percent. Yeah.
01:03:42
Kristen
Well, no, because... The reason i got the vibration plate was for to help with lymphatic drainage. So i could be eating in a caloric deficit. I can be on the treadmill. I can be doing all this and I could, you know...
01:04:04
Kristen
Be following a nutrition plan. Like I've done all of this in the past and there's been like nothing.
01:04:06
Melanie & Kristen
Thank
01:04:11
Kristen
And I've had like lymphatic massages done in the past also. And the massage, or I guess the therapist, I guess she called herself.
01:04:22
Kristen
She would always comment about how much like liquid I had in my body. Like, she's like, you carry a lot inside, like you're not like expelling it like like a regular person does.
01:04:37
Kristen
And I don't sweat a lot, which is weird.
01:04:40
Melanie & Kristen
I have a question.
01:04:41
Kristen
Yeah.
01:04:43
Melanie & Kristen
If you're not drinking like a lot of water, like ah like if you're trying to like on a fitness journey or whatever, if you're not drinking a lot of water, but you're exercising and weightlifting or whatever, do you, you know, when you drink a lot of water and your pee is a little bit like, it's not as
01:05:04
Kristen
Potent, like it's clear.
01:05:05
Melanie & Kristen
potent yeah it's not as yellow yeah um but if you're not drinking a lot of water but you're still like exercising and stuff do you think that that's lymphatic drainage expelling
01:05:06
Kristen
Yeah.
01:05:17
Kristen
I don't know.
01:05:18
Melanie & Kristen
like lymphatic lymphatic whatever it's just liquid right it's just water it's like water weight
01:05:18
Kristen
I've always had a lot of water.
01:05:26
Kristen
I guess. I don't know the theory behind it.
01:05:30
Melanie & Kristen
I'm wondering because like, you know, I'm not drinking a lot of water like I should be. And, um, and I feel like my pee is a lot lighter for no reason.
01:05:42
Kristen
Oh, interesting.
01:05:43
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. And then I was like, well, maybe my liver's not working, but if my liver wasn't working, it would be darker. so you know, these are the thoughts.
01:05:52
Kristen
Your liver or your kidneys?
01:05:54
Melanie & Kristen
I don't know which one does the filtering kidneys, my kidneys, but then it would be darker.
01:05:56
Kristen
Kidneys.
01:05:59
Melanie & Kristen
Right.
01:06:01
Kristen
I don't know if, I mean, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. All I know is that they say like if you have a massage and they're moving all the stuff, they're like, make sure you drink a lot of water to help flush your body because it's moving a bunch of stuff around and you're wanting to like get rid of that.
01:06:22
Kristen
So I don't know. So I like it.
01:06:23
Melanie & Kristen
I feel like my body is just getting rid of it anyway. You know? Seems like it.
01:06:29
Kristen
Well, think about it.
01:06:30
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:06:30
Kristen
If you're on the treadmill and you're doing But you're doing lymphatic um movements too. Like if you're like really pumping your arms, doing that like the, you know, Japanese or other Asian walk that you were talking about.
01:06:50
Melanie & Kristen
Some kind of Asian walk.
01:06:51
Kristen
It's... Well, yeah, but it's it's moving your lymph. Like your lymph...
01:06:56
Melanie & Kristen
But I'm not doing that.
01:06:58
Kristen
Okay, well, just...
01:06:59
Melanie & Kristen
just well I'm just like regular, like a model.
01:07:04
Kristen
Strike a pose.
01:07:05
Melanie & Kristen
Strike a pose.
01:07:07
Kristen
Well, I don't know. All I can tell you is that before the vibration plates, i was noticing because I had not gone on the treadmill for a hot minute because my husband decided to put stuff on the treadmill as like a storage thing for a minute. And I'm like, I finally had to say to him, you know how like you get mad if we put stuff on your like tool, like Area.
01:07:34
Kristen
Like he's got.
01:07:34
Melanie & Kristen
Area. Yeah.
01:07:35
Kristen
Yeah.
01:07:35
Kristen
He's got like a debt.
01:07:35
Melanie & Kristen
Not a box.
01:07:36
Melanie & Kristen
It's like a, yeah, I know it's exactly what you're talking Mm-hmm.
01:07:37
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, don't put stuff here. But I'm like, that's my equivalent. That's not like, don't, don't put boxes here. Because if he's like, well, you can easily move them. I'm like, but I'm not going to.
01:07:54
Kristen
Like, it's hard enough for me to like, want to do anything. And if there's even a single extra, like, roadblock to getting that done.
01:08:06
Kristen
I don't know.
01:08:09
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:08:11
Kristen
I'm just self-aware enough to know. Ooh, I'm hearing myself.
01:08:18
Melanie & Kristen
Say it again. Are you still hearing yourself?
01:08:20
Kristen
I'm hearing myself. No, I'm not.
01:08:23
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:08:23
Kristen
Oh, I am.
01:08:24
Melanie & Kristen
Oh.
01:08:26
Kristen
was weird. Okay.
01:08:27
Melanie & Kristen
Sorry, I muted my mic for a second because Eric was coming in through the the front door and it was making a loud sound. I just just didn't want it to be like interrupting your thought.
01:08:36
Kristen
Oh, it's okay. I heard him, but I don't know. It must have been...
01:08:41
Melanie & Kristen
I unrooted it.
01:08:44
Kristen
Oh, I was wondering if when you muted muted it, it went to like your computers speakers.
01:08:51
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, that would be annoying. It shouldn't because it's like supposed to be coming out of that, but.
01:08:54
Kristen
I don't know.
01:08:58
Kristen
Okay. Okay. So all have to say is before I started, i know,
AITA: The Mother-in-Law Conflict Begins
01:09:03
Kristen
like tangents, before I started, i was noticing my legs looked a lot more like cellulite-y. But it's like I could just tell, like I can move it. I'm like, this is it's liquid in here. Like, come on, get out.
01:09:18
Kristen
And I've been using the vibration plate every day between 10 and 20 minutes. And I can see a difference.
01:09:27
Melanie & Kristen
Well, hey.
01:09:28
Kristen
So I'm like, something's working.
01:09:32
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:09:33
Kristen
Anyway.
01:09:34
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, now I hear me.
01:09:37
Melanie & Kristen
Whatever, it's fine. Um... What would you say your body shape is? Like I'm an inverted triangle. When you're talking about like having,
01:09:50
Melanie & Kristen
um
01:09:53
Melanie & Kristen
I want say cottage cheese thighs. That's not well what you said, but that's what it is, right?
01:10:00
Kristen
I think essentially. Well, and i I never used to carry my weight in my legs at all. Like I'd always, i i also had more like inverted triangle, definitely broader shoulders.
01:10:10
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
01:10:14
Kristen
um
01:10:16
Melanie & Kristen
Like when you're at your most fit, do you find that your hips are more narrow?
01:10:16
Kristen
As.
01:10:21
Melanie & Kristen
Like going, like, okay.
01:10:22
Kristen
ah They're still more narrow. and My shoulders are broader. Like it's the widest part on me is my shoulders.
01:10:27
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Okay. Same. That's a fun thing to have.
01:10:29
Kristen
Yeah. Super.
01:10:32
Melanie & Kristen
But like my, i have like fat on my leg.
01:10:33
Kristen
Especially when you're five foot two.
01:10:37
Melanie & Kristen
I have like no fat on my legs. Like it's just, it's just, I have like Olympian calf muscles.
01:10:41
Kristen
Muscle.
01:10:47
Melanie & Kristen
There's no reason for them to look so defined because it's not like, I'm doing anything, you know, until recently. But like when I was just sitting like around like couch rot, you know, like reading for hours and hours on end, like my calves still look freaking great.
01:11:08
Melanie & Kristen
Like they had like the line down the middle.
01:11:09
Kristen
High performance athlete.
01:11:11
Melanie & Kristen
They had like you like defined.
01:11:11
Kristen
Yeah. It's like the butt cheek on your leg.
01:11:15
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, they're really big for no reason. Yeah.
01:11:18
Kristen
Well, they do say that your calf is your second heart.
01:11:25
Kristen
The body's second heart.
01:11:27
Melanie & Kristen
What does that mean?
01:11:28
Kristen
It has something to do with circulation.
01:11:30
Melanie & Kristen
that a good thing?
01:11:31
Kristen
That's why. Well, I think if they're like doing good, then yeah, it's good thing.
01:11:37
Melanie & Kristen
so if you have high blood pressure, but your calves look great, what does that mean? Because that's where I'm at.
01:11:43
Kristen
I don't know. I'm not a doctor. I can't diagnose you. But I can say it's the reason why they say like if you're going take a long flight to get up and walk or to wear compression socks so you don't so you don't get developed deep vein thrombosis, but do you really fly?
01:11:58
Melanie & Kristen
I never get up a plane.
01:12:03
Melanie & Kristen
I just kind of do this.
01:12:04
Kristen
like Okay, well, you're moving them.
01:12:04
Melanie & Kristen
like you I'm on a plane. just go like this with my legs. Yeah.
01:12:09
Kristen
Yeah. Yeah. My legs are so short that I can just do this. it Here's the seat and it's just.
01:12:20
Melanie & Kristen
Oh my gosh. You're really going to make people think that your legs are just really like tiny, like, like those cats.
01:12:30
Kristen
Well, all I can say is that i work at an elementary school and the fourth graders are taller than me at times. So that's fun.
01:12:42
Melanie & Kristen
Well, should we talk more about new year's resolutions or should we get into some Reddit stuff?
01:12:48
Kristen
We can do a Reddit thing. Maybe one Reddit thing. Okay.
01:12:51
Melanie & Kristen
Okay. Do you wanna talk about the mom one?
01:12:58
Kristen
Um, yes.
01:13:05
Kristen
Okay. And I'm going to do this in like a PG. going to read it in PG.
01:13:11
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:13:12
Kristen
So am I...
01:13:12
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, go.
01:13:16
Kristen
The a-hole. I'll say that. That's fine. That's PG. For telling my daughter-in-law that I will never be her mother and to leave me alone. yeah This lady was very upset because she like named her and everything.
01:13:32
Kristen
This is mostly about my daughter-in-law, Kat, in case we were wondering. Her mother ran out on her when she was just a child and she went into foster care.
01:13:42
Kristen
According to my son, she's currently seeing a therapist. My issue with Kat is that she has repeatedly stomped on my boundaries. She's a very touchy.
01:13:53
Melanie & Kristen
That's a really, yeah. Like i was just like, those are all these adjectives. Anyways, it's <unk> actually a verb, but whatever, you know what mean?
01:14:01
Kristen
She's a very, what?
01:14:02
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:14:04
Melanie & Kristen
I said it's actually like a verb, but I said adjective. Go on.
01:14:09
Kristen
You did say adjectives, yeah. I didn't know what you meant. i was just gonna smile and continue.
01:14:13
Melanie & Kristen
Descriptive. She's very descriptive. She stomped on my on my bad verb.
01:14:16
Kristen
Those are adjectives, but oh, okay. Yeah. All right.
01:14:20
Melanie & Kristen
Anyway.
01:14:22
Kristen
It's a verb. um She's a very touchy person and refuses to call me by my name and only refers to me as mom.
01:14:31
Melanie & Kristen
So dad would do that.
01:14:31
Kristen
I... Yeah, he did.
01:14:34
Melanie & Kristen
To his in-laws. he That's a very like old school thing to do.
01:14:36
Kristen
He did.
01:14:39
Kristen
I go back and forth with Myrta and I'll be like, i'll I'll sometimes say like mom and dad to Steve and Myrta. But like I said before, she's been my mom.
01:14:51
Melanie & Kristen
Longer than.
01:14:51
Kristen
She's like, you know, mother-in-law longer than my mom was here.
01:14:54
Melanie & Kristen
Same with mine.
01:14:56
Kristen
yeah. Yeah.
01:14:57
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:14:59
Kristen
So yeah. So, okay. So this lady corrects her every time because she's super mean. Since I'm not comfortable being called mom by her and i want her to use my name. Okay. I've already formed an opinion, but let's continue.
01:15:14
Melanie & Kristen
I don't know. I feel like if you're asking someone to do something, like like if you're not comfortable with something, you're setting a boundary.
01:15:17
Kristen
Oh my gosh.
01:15:20
Melanie & Kristen
So –
01:15:22
Kristen
This might also like going back to um like horoscopes. I am a cancer. So I am the mother of the Zodiac. And knowing this cat's like background, I'm already like, oh, like lost little puppy.
01:15:40
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, but you also you also only know Kat's background from this other person who's writing this at a moment where she feels at the end of her rope with this person. So-
01:15:52
Kristen
And I'm still siding with her already, so that just goes to show. Anyway. There have been multiple times when she's asked inappropriate questions, mostly about why I'm not close to my own mother.
01:16:05
Kristen
She sounds like she could be a little, like, neurodivergent, too. It's what I'm picking up on.
01:16:11
Melanie & Kristen
cat or the mother-in-law?
01:16:12
Kristen
Cat.
01:16:13
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:16:13
Kristen
Maybe both. Who knows? Because, you know, birds of a feather usually attract one another.
01:16:18
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:16:18
Kristen
They flock together, but they also attract. Um... But like maybe different different sides, you know?
01:16:26
Melanie & Kristen
like For context, my mother was horrible. That's the context.
01:16:31
Kristen
Oh, that was the next line, yes.
01:16:32
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:16:33
Kristen
Why I'm not close to my own mother. For context, my mother was horrible.
Kat's Quest for Acceptance
01:16:37
Kristen
So again, it sounds like Kat has already like clocked that this mother-in-law like does not know or like wasn't loved properly and she just wants to love on her.
01:16:50
Kristen
Sure, yeah.
01:16:51
Melanie & Kristen
It seems like she wants, it seems like instead of her giving love to her mother-in-law, feels more like she wants her mother-in-law to treat her like her own daughter.
01:17:03
Melanie & Kristen
And she's not getting that.
01:17:03
Kristen
Well, yeah, that too.
01:17:05
Melanie & Kristen
And the mother-in-law is like, but you're not. So, okay, continue.
01:17:08
Kristen
Okay.
Boundaries and Uncomfortable Closeness
01:17:10
Kristen
Kat keeps pushing for details and insists I should get closer to her because family sticks together. She basically tells me to forgive my mom and she doesn't understand not being close with one's parents.
01:17:22
Kristen
I told her to drop the topic multiple times and she refuses. Because of all this, I am not a huge fan of hers. Is this mom from like the Boston area? Because...
Family Matters: Boundaries Overstepped
01:17:35
Melanie & Kristen
I just feel like I'm on the mother-in-law side.
01:17:39
Kristen
Oh my gosh. I feel like the mom is a boomer and she's like, no, you're dead to me. Get away. The family.
01:17:45
Melanie & Kristen
but Why does Kat keep bringing it up if the mother-in-law is like, I don't want to talk about it?
01:17:45
Kristen
No, you're dead.
01:17:51
Kristen
I feel like.
01:17:51
Melanie & Kristen
Why is she forcing the mother-in-law to talk about it?
01:17:54
Kristen
Let's continue to read. i don't know.
01:17:57
Kristen
Let's see here.
01:17:58
Kristen
i've spoken to I've spoken to my son about it, and he asked me to be patient.
01:17:58
Melanie & Kristen
spoke into my phone.
Mother-Daughter Trip Controversy
01:18:04
Kristen
I've also talked to Kat multiple times and asked her to respect my boundaries. She always says she will, but then goes right back to ignoring them.
01:18:13
Kristen
This is where I might be the jerk. My daughter, Sam, 20, and I are taking a weekend trip. Sam as has medical issue and needs to see a specialist a few states over.
01:18:27
Kristen
She hasn't disclosed the issue to the rest of the family yet. She plans to when she has a firm plan. Somehow, word about the trip got back to Kat, and she called me asking why she wasn't invited.
01:18:38
Kristen
I told her it's an an important trip and not a fun one. She accused me of lying, claiming it was a mother-daughter trip that she was excluded from. I told her again this is not a girl's trip. She wouldn't let it go and started demanding that she come, saying that she's my daughter and needs to be there.
01:18:54
Kristen
I said no again. Okay, I would never do that part, but okay.
01:19:00
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, I mean, she sounds like she's really clingy for no reason. Like,
01:19:04
Kristen
Well, i don't know if it's for no reason. It sounds like she's like, you know.
01:19:07
Melanie & Kristen
she sounds like she has mental issues.
01:19:09
Kristen
Well, she was in foster care and she was like.
01:19:13
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:19:16
Kristen
Okay.
01:19:20
Kristen
Okay.
01:19:23
Kristen
Um, that's when I, let me just finish. Hold
01:19:23
Melanie & Kristen
You really thought you learned boundaries there.
Clash of Expectations
01:19:26
Kristen
my finish. That's when I snapped. I told her I will never be her mother. Ooh, language of warning. Just because she married my son does not make me her parent. I told her to leave me the beep alone.
01:19:39
Kristen
And that even if this was a mother-daughter trip, she still wouldn't be invited because she isn't my kid. I then hung up
01:19:47
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:19:50
Melanie & Kristen
I feel like she has every right to do that because if this – it sounds like her daughter-in-law was just like, you need to invite me, da-da-da-da, da-da-da, like just like coming at her like – and she's trying to respect her own daughter's wishes by not telling her why the trip is happening but still being like, look, it's not like a fun girl's trip. It's just – it's like an important thing i I need to go with her on. And for whatever reason, her daughter-in-law is like, no, you're lying. Like what does it matter?
01:20:18
Melanie & Kristen
What does it matter? Like you weren't invited, period.
01:20:25
Melanie & Kristen
Get over it And if we do another trip sometime, i'll you know, I'll invite to that one, whatever. Like, come on.
01:20:31
Kristen
Well, apparently she won't because.
01:20:33
Melanie & Kristen
Well, not not a girl's trip, not a not a mother daughter trip.
Family-Only Trips: A Debate
01:20:38
Kristen
Well, this is reminding me of that one video of the parent that went viral, I believe, where she was like, let's normalize trips with just our, you know, family of origin. So if if my son or daughter is now married,
01:20:58
Kristen
those people aren't invited. Sometimes I just want a trip here, like with, with these people that I love.
01:21:06
Melanie & Kristen
Okay.
01:21:06
Kristen
And I was like, automatically like, no,
01:21:08
Melanie & Kristen
That's different. That's different because it's not like the the mother-in-law is going, okay, now my husband and I going to take just our children and not their not their sit and get significant others on this trip and you're not invited.
01:21:22
Melanie & Kristen
It wasn't like that. It was just her and her daughter for a specific medical reason that she does not need to disclose to someone else.
01:21:32
Kristen
Right.
01:21:33
Melanie & Kristen
And she didn't even call it like a mother-daughter trip. And even if it was one, It's weird that the daughter-in-law is getting so bent out of shape about it.
01:21:44
Kristen
Sorry. Oh gosh.
01:21:49
Kristen
Oh my gosh.
01:21:50
Melanie & Kristen
What are you doing? Yeah,
01:21:51
Kristen
I was getting my cord.
01:21:55
Kristen
have to plug my computer in Thought I could do this entire time, but I can't. Um...
01:22:00
Melanie & Kristen
good tax.
01:22:02
Kristen
So I'm thinking this is a story that has multiple layers.
01:22:10
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
01:22:11
Kristen
I don't think the mother-in-law is including all of the layers. I think she is cherry picking. I think that because usually when people tell a story,
01:22:25
Melanie & Kristen
yeah
01:22:26
Kristen
They tell it in a light most favorable to them anyway, because that's how they're viewing things.
Kat's Boundary Issues
01:22:32
Kristen
So it's like,
01:22:35
Kristen
I don't know.
01:22:36
Melanie & Kristen
She kind of did a backstory. She said, i mean, I see what you're saying, but she kind of did a backstory saying like there have been multiple um instances where I've set boundaries and she doesn't care.
01:22:52
Melanie & Kristen
and
01:22:52
Kristen
Mm-hmm.
01:22:54
Melanie & Kristen
And so it sounds like, I don't know, it sounds like this conversation that she had with her
01:23:00
Kristen
Mm-hmm.
01:23:00
Melanie & Kristen
about the trip started off with like a trying to be like, you know, i wasn't trying to not include you. This, this isn't like a girls fun girls trip. This is something that I, Sam asked me to go on with her because of something important that I can't tell you about because it's not to, it has nothing to do with me and I'm respecting her wishes.
01:23:24
Melanie & Kristen
And instead of just being like, okay, I understand. She was like, no, you're a liar. It's a mother daughter trip. I'm your daughter.
01:23:33
Kristen
Well, that's what I'm saying.
01:23:33
Melanie & Kristen
you're not.
01:23:34
Kristen
It seems like there's been maybe like another instance or two where stuff has happened where she wasn't included, perhaps.
01:23:45
Kristen
Because it just seems like that would be a weird place to go from out of nowhere to like.
01:23:50
Melanie & Kristen
It seems like she feels like she's not being included in things that she has nothing to that she shouldn't have anything to do with.
01:23:59
Kristen
Like. Like what?
01:24:03
Melanie & Kristen
I don't know. I'm off the top of my head. What if like what if ah her daughter, her actual daughter um was in town and they go out and to lunch or something?
01:24:15
Melanie & Kristen
I can see this girl cat being like, why wasn't I invited to that lunch?
01:24:20
Kristen
Right.
01:24:22
Melanie & Kristen
It just feels like, well, first of all, you weren't here. And second of all, like this wasn't like a thing. And also, I don't need to run all my plans by you, you know?
01:24:33
Kristen
so I have thoughts.
01:24:37
Melanie & Kristen
Well, why don't we finish? you want to finish the rest of it? It's just one paragraph.
01:24:40
Kristen
That was it, basically. Oh, my son's, it wasn't the damn rest of it. So it says my son says I need to apologize and invite her that I'm a huge D to her that I was way out of line and need to make it up to Kat.
01:24:56
Kristen
The situation has spread to the rest of the family and everyone seems to have their own opinion. Sam is getting flack to the daughter, which isn't helping because I'm sorry, which isn't helping, especially since she doesn't want to disclose the reason for the trip yet.
01:25:10
Kristen
Am I being an a-hole and need to apologize even though those are my true feelings on her trying to make me her parent? And my thing is, is you can have those feelings and not be a dick.
01:25:25
Kristen
Sorry, I said it.
01:25:30
Melanie & Kristen
I mean, it sounds like she wasn't for a long time.
01:25:31
Kristen
It's like being a parent.
01:25:33
Melanie & Kristen
And then finally, like the damn birth.
01:25:35
Kristen
No, it doesn't. It sounds like she's been a huge one this entire time.
01:25:39
Melanie & Kristen
It sounds like she was setting boundaries. I think there's a difference. It sounds like she was being like, like whenever the daughter-in-law would be like, oh, you need to make up with your mom and da-da-da-da-da.
01:25:45
Kristen
Thank you.
01:25:49
Melanie & Kristen
It's like read between the lines, girlfriend. You know, like I, this has been going on since before you were even in the picture. I'm not, it's, it's, it's so much more complicated than just, oh, family's important because yeah, sure.
01:26:03
Melanie & Kristen
Family's important. But, you know, my mom has made it clear that she doesn't want to be an important part of that part of the family. So, no, I can't make up with her.
01:26:14
Melanie & Kristen
But instead of just dropping it.
01:26:15
Kristen
But she doesn't say that she told her that. She just told us the context. She doesn't say that she explained that to her.
01:26:20
Melanie & Kristen
Right. Well, sure. But it would be a much long, don't you think it'd be a much longer, like, am I the a-hole? Okay.
01:26:27
Kristen
don't know. It seems like to me, what I'm clocking from this person is that she's very buttoned up. Like, I keep my emotions here.
01:26:39
Kristen
You don't see that. I didn't say that. I'm just, this is how I'm picturing her. Whereas I feel like the daughter-in-law is probably, you know, experiences the world through her emotions is what it sounds like.
01:26:39
Melanie & Kristen
There's nothing wrong with that.
01:26:57
Kristen
Is very in touch with emotions. um And is probably very curious. Like when you go when you go through any type of thing, especially as a child, I feel like.
Family Dynamics and Background
01:27:13
Kristen
where your home life is disrupted. um i mean, I grew up from the time I can remember with a father in the house, but just knowing that my biological father wasn't in the picture and I had never heard from him, that still affected me. And people are like but you had a dad in the house. I'm like, it still affected me.
01:27:43
Kristen
So I feel like.
01:27:48
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, but it's not like dad was going, just call me Mike. Don't call me dad, I'm not your dad.
01:27:56
Kristen
No, no, no, I know he was I mean, he's my dad like that's.
01:28:02
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:28:03
Kristen
And it was not, there was nothing that he was doing that was making me feel that way. It was just the knowledge of the fact that someone else didn't want to be a part of my story.
01:28:18
Kristen
You froze.
01:28:19
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:28:19
Kristen
It was kind of funny. i was like,
01:28:22
Melanie & Kristen
Oh. You're just pros doing the same thing.
01:28:26
Kristen
well, I froze myself.
01:28:28
Melanie & Kristen
Oh.
01:28:33
Kristen
Thanks.
01:28:33
Melanie & Kristen
So closely I'm paying attention to you. Okay.
01:28:35
Kristen
thanks
01:28:36
Melanie & Kristen
Somebody commented and said, not the a-hole. Your daughter-in-law is trying to use you to heal her mother wound instead of trying to build a relationship with you organically. She sounds insufferable, to be honest.
01:28:47
Melanie & Kristen
And I think it OP responded. She said, that's 100% what she's doing. She is trying so hard that she's pushing people away from her. No one wants to be around someone who stomps on your boundaries and doesn't show basic respect to you.
01:29:01
Melanie & Kristen
It isn't rocket science to call someone what they want to be called. Keep your hands to yourself and not bring up sensitive topics.
01:29:12
Melanie & Kristen
Let's Not the a-hole. You don't just have a daughter-in-law problem. You also have a son problem. He is clearly enabling whatever Delulu world she lives in. Keep enforcing your boundaries.
01:29:27
Melanie & Kristen
Well, I mean, i don't know if I agree with that. Because, like, your spouse is above your parents. And once you get married, it's like your spouse is your person, your team. so Yeah, I think if he wasn't um on his wife's side, there'd be and more like a bigger issue.
01:29:50
Melanie & Kristen
But...
01:29:51
Kristen
Hold on a second. Trigger? Must you
01:29:59
Kristen
Oh no, no. Let's take that out. Come on. Go. Go see daddy. daddy. Come on. Thank you. Bye bye. Oh my gosh.
01:30:11
Kristen
He opens the door. It was closed. He opens the door by himself and lets himself in and then starts to make noise everywhere.
01:30:21
Melanie & Kristen
Here's another one. Not the a-hole. One, block her number. Only communicate through your son. Two, explain to your son that you are not required to ignore your boundaries to make someone else comfortable. That no is a complete sentence. That you are not required to apologize for getting frustrated.
01:30:38
Melanie & Kristen
That she doesn't listen to your needs, wants, or boundaries. That you don't owe her one explanation, let alone many. Ask why you would be willing, willing, why you would willingly take a trip with someone who chooses not to listen to you, who constantly disrespects you. Why would you subject yourself to that? And what works, and what works you to, you be expected to, that's not a sentence. Why, why should you be miserable on a trip? And why should your daughter be subjected to that?
01:31:12
Melanie & Kristen
I'm trying to find one that says, yes, the a-hole, but most people are saying no.
01:31:12
Kristen
Okay.
01:31:16
Kristen
Well, someone wrote, someone wrote, yikes, there's nothing worse than a boundary stomping person who accidentally stirs up trauma, which is what I think is ha...
01:31:16
Melanie & Kristen
one
01:31:30
Kristen
Can you please go to your father
01:31:45
Kristen
Okay. First of all, I don't think she understands what a boundary is because once again, she didn't grow up in a stable home environment where she was probably taught such things. Okay. Secondly, and I'm not saying that people shouldn't have boundaries. Like those are not the words that are coming out of my mouth. I think what I'm saying is, is Again, I don't feel like she knows what an appropriate boundary is.
01:32:12
Kristen
Like, I think that's the the major, like, takeaway here is...
01:32:16
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, but how many times does the mother-in-law need to like tell her?
01:32:20
Kristen
I don't think she's explaining it, though, to her. I think she's just, like, being like, no, don't want to talk about it. ni That's what I'm saying. I feel like she thinks it's, like, an inherent boundary.
01:32:31
Melanie & Kristen
you think it's an autism thing then?
01:32:32
Kristen
i don't think...
01:32:33
Melanie & Kristen
Because I feel like that what you just did is like a social cue to me to be like, oh, we're not talking about that. You know?
01:32:40
Kristen
What?
01:32:41
Melanie & Kristen
The way your body language was just now, do you think that the daughter-in-law is a little autistic or something? Because when the way you just did that would signal to my brain, oh that's something...
01:32:55
Kristen
The way moved in
01:32:58
Melanie & Kristen
No, when you were like when you're like, no, I don't want to talk about that.
01:32:58
Kristen
Did I move in?
01:33:04
Melanie & Kristen
The face, the like...
01:33:05
Kristen
Oh, like with the mom?
01:33:07
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, like if the mom's reacting in that way that you think that she might be, then that's like a social cue, like ah like a body cue, whatever, to somebody else to be like, oh, okay.
01:33:07
Kristen
what
01:33:16
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, were okay, I get it. Like, we'll drop it. But instead, it sounds like the daughter-in-law keeps bringing it up.
01:33:24
Kristen
Well, I think, okay.
01:33:28
Kristen
Because we don't know any of these people. And so I'm like, I'm like, and this, that's imaginary person that we're talking about.
01:33:31
Melanie & Kristen
We have lots of opinions on it, though.
01:33:37
Kristen
So I feel like this person, Kat, the daughter-in-law,
01:33:44
Melanie & Kristen
Mm-hmm.
01:33:45
Kristen
who's been through these struggles, again, probably doesn't know what an appropriate boundary is. Or I don't think she understands boundaries because I don't think she grew up with boundaries.
01:34:01
Kristen
And again, when you, it's like you're putting a person who never had a rule book And then you're expecting them to like as an adult, be able to play by the all the rules, but this but they don't know what the rules are.
01:34:18
Kristen
And then they're getting crapped on.
01:34:19
Melanie & Kristen
Well, she doesn't sound stupid though. She doesn't sound like a stupid person. I mean, she's, she got married, she'd gone to a relationship and you know, with all the issues that relationships have and then got married, you know what i mean?
01:34:27
Kristen
I don't think he's stupid.
01:34:34
Melanie & Kristen
So once again, it's not about, it's not about not knowing what a boundary is, but rather being able to like visibly see when somebody's uncomfortable about something, you know,
01:34:46
Melanie & Kristen
like when you so like When I see that on somebody, i immediately am like, oh, okay, we're not, I get it, you know, moving on.
01:34:55
Kristen
Yeah. Well, i I don't think, well well, I guess my point was is beyond not having the the rule book and all that, i I do feel like there's some other stuff that's going on that's hindering that process for her.
01:35:10
Kristen
And I'm sure like Once she got married, she was like, oh my gosh, I'm going have a family now. I'm so excited. Like, I never had a family.
01:35:25
Kristen
yay And like, she came in with all these expectations. And then this mother-in-law was like, hmm.
01:35:32
Melanie & Kristen
That's weird to me because when you're – I don't know how long they were engaged for before they got married, but even if it was only like a year, you kind of get an idea of what the other family is like, you know?
01:35:44
Kristen
Mm-hmm.
01:35:45
Melanie & Kristen
And um yeah.
01:35:47
Kristen
We have no idea. we don't know if they live near each other. We don't, yeah.
01:35:51
Melanie & Kristen
Right. I mean, they're making it sound like she lives next door and expects to be invited to every function that ever happens ever and all the time. So Yeah.
01:36:01
Kristen
Wait, let me finish reading this because I stopped after the first sentence. Okay, yikes. There's nothing worse than a boundary-stomping person who accidentally stirs up trauma. That being said, I'm not sure calling a person who has no mother, grew up with no family, and who would kill for what she romanticized that she missed out on entitled, an entitled person always has had and takes it for granted and expects.
01:36:27
Kristen
and she's never had, has always wanted, and is begging to finally get it for once. I fully appreciate your frustration and loss of patience, but being forever outside, keenly feeling the lack of belonging in a family is a rough feeling.
01:36:44
Kristen
So throwing it in her face that they will never be one of you, and you will never be her mother, is a little brutal, maybe? Maybe apologize for how cruelly worded it is, but say her constant pushiness makes it difficult sometimes.
01:36:59
Kristen
And you are not excluding her because she doesn't matter, but because it is a serious trip that you need to focus one-on-one.
Empathy and Boundaries
01:37:07
Kristen
Say maybe some other time you guys can have a shopping outing or something so she can feel included.
01:37:13
Kristen
But again, reinforce, she has demons with her lack of family growing up, and you have your own with the family that you did have, that will take the sting out. Otherwise, she's going to be re-traumatized all over as well.
01:37:27
Kristen
Rejected as a kid, rejected as an adult. Be direct, but maybe try and be a little kind. Good luck. And that's kind of...
01:37:37
Melanie & Kristen
Did someone call her entitled?
01:37:41
Melanie & Kristen
Did the OP call her entitled?
01:37:41
Kristen
me go back up.
01:37:42
Melanie & Kristen
Cause I think it was more about like whether OP was a, was the a-hole or not for saying that.
01:37:44
Kristen
Let me go back up.
01:37:51
Melanie & Kristen
Cause I agree with that person that I don't think she seems like she's being entitled. I think it's more, it's more of like a trauma thing.
01:38:03
Melanie & Kristen
And um I don't know.
01:38:09
Kristen
I don't know.
01:38:10
Melanie & Kristen
I think, I think what that person said is like perfect actually.
01:38:14
Kristen
I do too. And that was my whole thing is like, okay, you can address it, but don't do it in the way that you're doing it because you're doing it in a way that's like further going to cause issues.
01:38:24
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. If there's anything to apologize for, it's how you snapped and, and said things in anger and, but then just re say, you know,
01:38:36
Melanie & Kristen
While I'm sorry that the way that I said, like the way about the way that that came out, that it should be more like, um
01:38:45
Melanie & Kristen
it's okay to have one-on-one time with people in the family, you know? And this is an important trip that I'm not at liberty to discuss because it's not my thing.
01:38:49
Kristen
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
01:38:55
Melanie & Kristen
And, then you know, i don't know. It's, while Kat doesn't seem entitled, she does seem very pushy.
01:39:06
Melanie & Kristen
calling her a liar for, you know, when she was like, oh, it's a mother-daughter trip and I'm your daughter, so I should be invited to. when she said, i well, it's not a mother-daughter trip, and she' like, well, you're a liar.
01:39:17
Melanie & Kristen
Like, that's that's a little much.
01:39:21
Kristen
I guess when I read things, I'm always thinking like they're giving like the bare minimum detail of what was actually done and what was actually said.
01:39:27
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:39:31
Kristen
And so I feel like like it's always in my head, I'm reading these things going, OK, well, they're reporting the worst things that the offender is doing with as little detail as possible for like
01:39:44
Melanie & Kristen
Right.
01:39:49
Kristen
the actual scenario. And so I think I automatically go okay, there's something that is probably worse that happened or worse that was said to have caused.
01:40:00
Melanie & Kristen
Or triggered her into feeling like it was a mother-daughter trip. Yeah. Like maybe someone else in the family said, oh yeah, like, you know, op and Sam are going to be taking a trip.
01:40:04
Kristen
Yeah.
01:40:12
Melanie & Kristen
It's mother-daughter trip or whatever. They called it that. And so that probably was triggering.
01:40:18
Kristen
Yeah.
01:40:19
Melanie & Kristen
But I don't know. At the same time, id feel like I would be like – like if if my mother-in-law was like, oh, I'm going to – I mean, she only has boys.
01:40:20
Kristen
I mean, most people.
01:40:27
Melanie & Kristen
But if she was like, oh, we're taking a trip and we're only taking –
01:40:32
Melanie & Kristen
like, I don't know, Anthony or something, my brother-in-law, I'd be like, okay, bye. Like, have a great trip. but You know?
01:40:39
Kristen
then
01:40:39
Melanie & Kristen
I wouldn't feel left out.
01:40:44
Melanie & Kristen
You know? i think I would feel more like there was injustice if she was like, oh, we're taking a trip and we're only taking Anthony and not Eric.
01:40:44
Kristen
Well, here's the other thing.
01:40:52
Melanie & Kristen
Then I'd be like, well, why? You know?
01:40:58
Kristen
Yeah.
01:40:58
Melanie & Kristen
I'd feel more like for him, but He's her actual son though, so i don't know. That's different.
01:41:05
Kristen
Yeah. Someone else wrote, I feel so bad for her. She just wants a mother to love her, but it's okay if you don't want to be her. If you don't want her to be close, I'm just sad. And then someone responded to that saying, if someone was acting like about any other relationship, acting like probably like that, about any other relationship, how would you feel?
01:41:25
Kristen
If she was harassing a man like this because she wanted a husband, a place of employment because she wanted a job, a random other woman because she wanted a friend, I highly doubt this would be your response.
01:41:35
Kristen
Being someone else's mom doesn't mean you have to play that role to anyone and everyone. Okay, well, daughter-in-law, it's not anyone.
01:41:43
Melanie & Kristen
That doesn't make any sense because she is the woman's daughter-in-law.
01:41:43
Kristen
I know.
01:41:46
Melanie & Kristen
So it's not like not like she's dying for the position.
01:41:48
Kristen
Okay, so she goes on on and then
01:41:50
Melanie & Kristen
Right.
01:41:51
Kristen
And then anyone and someone responded to that basically by saying she's. Oh, wait, she's been harassing a woman to forgive her abusive mother mother. She's not a kind or nice person, but I don't see anywhere where she's explained to Kat that her mother was abusive.
01:42:09
Kristen
Like, I feel like, you know, she's like, well, she's asked me so many times, but like, I don't want to get into it.
01:42:12
Melanie & Kristen
ran
01:42:16
Melanie & Kristen
Well, don't you think her husband would have been like, oh, yeah, my my grandma's kind of a B.
Future Family Relations
01:42:21
Kristen
I don't know. Like a lot of, I don't think this woman has been talking to her sons about her childhood traumas. I don't think she's been talking to anyone about her childhood traumas. I think she needs some therapy as well.
01:42:35
Kristen
I do. Now, okay. So I think it's all like, it's an unfortunate situation, but here's the thing that I want this OP to think about.
01:42:47
Kristen
It doesn't seem like they have them yet. Kids, the the husband, and the daughter or the husband, the son.
01:42:54
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, yeah, it's a good point.
01:42:56
Kristen
Yeah. And by being a total BZ, guess what? Grandma ain't going to happen.
01:43:07
Kristen
You know, because when, you know, your your son married her, that's their family.
01:43:15
Melanie & Kristen
Yep.
01:43:16
Kristen
And if you want to be a part of it, play nice. Otherwise, you're making your choice. And I'm not saying that, like, there can't be boundaries, but i feel like I feel like this is something that needs to be discussed with, like, a professional for both of their, like, sakes.
01:43:33
Kristen
Like, they both need therapy.
01:43:33
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:43:35
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:43:35
Kristen
And I don't think it's fair that everyone's, like, ganging up on the one, but I'm like, clearly this other one has issues, too, if she's, like, mm-hmm. She has such a hard time with like, and don't know, like, she's like, what? She's so too touchy-feely and she's too whatever. Like, that to me, like, I'm not a huge whatever, but like, I don't say, no, don't touch me, you know, at the same time.
01:44:05
Kristen
Like, if my kid, i have a I have two kids that are like, when they hug.
01:44:12
Melanie & Kristen
If,
01:44:15
Melanie & Kristen
I don't know, if ah somebody was calling you Chris and you were, because I know you don't like that nickname, right? If somebody was calling you that every time they talked to you and you repeatedly told them, oh, you know what?
01:44:32
Melanie & Kristen
Please don't call me that.
01:44:35
Melanie & Kristen
And then they
01:44:35
Kristen
That guy called me Chris for like years.
01:44:41
Kristen
It didn't bother me that much.
01:44:41
Melanie & Kristen
Okay, so maybe you're a terrible person ask. um
01:44:46
Kristen
Maybe I have no boundaries. I don't know.
01:44:48
Melanie & Kristen
Maybe you're just a pushover. i don't know.
01:44:51
Kristen
No, but it wasn't something that bothered me enough. Like, I think I've always just,
01:45:01
Kristen
there have been things that really bother me about certain like things people say or do. But I guess my boundaries lie more with like, like internal boundaries. So I'll just remove myself from the scenario if I don't,
01:45:20
Kristen
if it's like happening repeated amounts of times, i don't know. I'll just be like, okay, bye. don't know.
01:45:30
Melanie & Kristen
You're dead to me.
01:45:33
Kristen
Maybe, i don't know.
01:45:34
Melanie & Kristen
I do that. trim the fat in my life. I'm like, oh, no.
01:45:40
Kristen
Well, I think a lot of times, think lot of times you see the habits and you see like, okay, that's not gonna change.
01:45:41
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Towards me anyway.
01:45:50
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:45:51
Kristen
so it's not even worth the conversation.
01:45:53
Melanie & Kristen
towards me anyway
01:45:53
Kristen
at Yeah. Just in general, just like, that's just one of their character things that isn't going to change. And you're like, okay. um I'm trying to think if I've had
01:46:08
Kristen
conversations, like, i don't know. For me, I'm always like, I'll just change myself. It's easier.
01:46:15
Melanie & Kristen
I was like that a lot in high school. And then I was just like, no, I'm done doing that. had a lot of people, a lot of like friends who would walk all over me because I allowed them to.
01:46:22
Kristen
I can tell.
01:46:27
Melanie & Kristen
And so i don't know. And like, you know, I've, I've talked about, i think I've cut it out of like past podcasts, but I've talked about like a certain friend that I had where I had a conversation with her and I said, well, it's your, it's a characteristic of your personality that you tend to
01:46:46
Melanie & Kristen
be around when it's something to do with you, but when it's, when somebody else needs something, you're conveniently unavailable. And, and I said, that's fine.
01:46:57
Melanie & Kristen
That's okay to have that kind of personality. You just have to find the people who are okay with that, you know? And, uh, she got very upset and said, I like, you know, and then started of listing all the reasons why she wasn't actually like that.
01:47:15
Melanie & Kristen
And the thing is, it's like, I was friends with this person for so long, like like decades, you know, and like, I have my own, you know, bullet points.
01:47:24
Kristen
you
01:47:28
Melanie & Kristen
So I'm just, I'm over it. and I just didn't let it bother me. I was just like, okay, you know, wish you the best. Um, i I'm not willing to be friends with somebody like that. I mean, literally this person called me after not speaking to me like for a year and a half just to be, and I was at work and I was like, got the call. And, and I was like, cause this must be important, right? This person never calls me and answer the phone. And the, she was like, you know, I'm pregnant. And it's like this whole crazy scenario and how I'm pregnant. And was just like,
01:48:09
Melanie & Kristen
okay, like, wow, that's crazy. And called me just to tell her, tell me like her good news. And then was like, okay, bye. Like, didn't one know anything about what's going on with me. it was just so weird. um But yeah, like,
01:48:26
Kristen
Do you think she
01:48:30
Melanie & Kristen
I think she's a little bit of a narcissist.
01:48:34
Kristen
has though?
01:48:34
Melanie & Kristen
I don't think it's an ADHD thing.
01:48:35
Kristen
Okay. was just thinking in terms of like with ADHD, like there'll be times they say like things kind of, if you don't see them in front of they disappear from you.
01:48:52
Kristen
Watching Emma go off on her beach cruiser with her big old sunglasses on down the street.
01:48:59
Kristen
She looks like she's from the 70s.
01:49:00
Melanie & Kristen
I don't
01:49:03
Kristen
long hair is almost getting stuck in the tires of the bike.
01:49:03
Melanie & Kristen
know.
01:49:07
Melanie & Kristen
my God.
01:49:08
Kristen
Anyway, like with objects, like the whole object permanence thing with ADHD, we're the reason why you know, I have eight of the same thing in my pantry is because I forget that I have it and I keep buying it. And then I'm like, oh crap, here's now I've got eight of them.
01:49:28
Kristen
It happens with people sometimes too. And like with ADHD, with ADHD, you work like time is a construct where it's like, it's either happening now or it's happening some other time.
01:49:35
Melanie & Kristen
Maybe. I think it's
01:49:46
Kristen
And that's literally how, is it happening now? Okay, if if it's not happening now, it's here, but like files and files and files back.
01:50:00
Kristen
And,
01:50:01
Melanie & Kristen
I think it's different because I think like you have this, this issue and a lot of people on mom's side of the family have this issue. But when you actually talk to the people who have those issues, they genuinely want to hear about what's going on with you.
01:50:16
Kristen
Yeah.
01:50:17
Melanie & Kristen
And so with this friend that I had, it's more like I'm a victim I don't do those things. You're the reason that you feel that way. Not me. It's very like gaslighting. And I don't even think she understands that she's doing it, you know, because all of the reasons that she listed to me of like why she thought I was wrong for saying ah an observation like about her personality was like, well, you know, I've always been there for you.
01:50:48
Melanie & Kristen
And like, ah you know, when you're, when your dad died whatever, I went to the memorial, like, okay, that's a normal friend thing though. Like I went to your dad's funeral too, like, cause you're my friend.
01:51:00
Melanie & Kristen
But like there was, um, when Marley, my cat died, um she saw it on,
01:51:00
Kristen
and
01:51:08
Melanie & Kristen
socials and she called to like say that she was sorry that the cat and that was very sweet and she let me cry about it for about 60 seconds and then she started talking about her own life so yeah okay
01:51:24
Kristen
But was she trying to like, okay.
01:51:26
Melanie & Kristen
no
01:51:27
Kristen
not Not like a, I'm trying to connect with you by sharing what I feel is like a similar thing and to show that.
01:51:38
Melanie & Kristen
No, it was like, this these are all my baby daddy problems. It had nothing to do with anything except her and things that like I didn't ask about. She literally just started talking about it. you know So that's what I mean. I think it's more of like a narcissistic quality.
01:51:58
Kristen
Well, just feel like a lot of times people with ADHD are often like told that they dominate conversations. And that they interrupt.
01:52:11
Melanie & Kristen
And it's not that she can't be, sorry, I just literally did it.
01:52:15
Kristen
Okay, I'm just gonna let you.
01:52:16
Melanie & Kristen
It's not that she can't be empathetic towards people. I just think it's very much like a a way to stop them from talking about themselves in order for her to talk about herself, you know?
01:52:30
Kristen
I would have to talk to her and like look at it because I just feel like a lot of times people, i don't know, like I could see it where I guess I can just see it from so many different sides. And I'm not saying that she's not this. I'm just, I'm i'm internalizing this going, oh gosh, like I know that I do this, that, and the other.
01:52:54
Kristen
And does that make me narcissistic or does that just make me like a lot of the other neurodivergent people who use this thing to relate to that thing? and
01:53:07
Melanie & Kristen
I don't think it makes you narcissistic. You're not like sitting there gaslighting people about things that happened that you did that they feel like you did to them. You know, like if I were to tell you like, oh, you made me feel this way, you'd be like, I'm so sorry.
01:53:15
Kristen
Okay. Yeah, no, I don't get a lot.
01:53:21
Melanie & Kristen
Like it was genuinely not my intention to do that.
01:53:22
Kristen
Okay.
01:53:25
Melanie & Kristen
You know, like I just I get so scatterbrained, you know, and I sometimes forget important things that are happening or whatever, you know, but it's never directed in a way that's ever meant to be malicious or harmful to other people.
01:53:39
Melanie & Kristen
And I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way. That's what you would say.
01:53:43
Kristen
Oh.
01:53:45
Melanie & Kristen
And my friend would be like, um you're wrong.
01:53:45
Kristen
Thank you. I'm so kind.
01:53:50
Melanie & Kristen
yeah My friend would be like, oh, you're wrong. Like, i I talk to a lot of people and they agree with me that you're wrong. And here's why. Also, here are all of you the things that I think that you did that are also bad.
01:54:04
Melanie & Kristen
Like, you know i mean? let's blame shift. You would never do that.
01:54:08
Kristen
know.
01:54:08
Melanie & Kristen
And so I don't think that – You know what I mean? and so I have nothing but love for her. like i i just like i don't even but I'm at a point where like I don't even think about her anymore.
01:54:18
Kristen
Wish you the best. Yeah. Yeah.
01:54:22
Melanie & Kristen
like it's it's not It used to be like she was a very good friend of mine, but like I'm just kind of sick of being on the you know, the back burner, you know, in the relationship.
01:54:36
Kristen
yeah
01:54:37
Melanie & Kristen
Like it's, oh, what's, what's going on with you? Oh. And then like, just talk about everything that's going on in your life and not ask any questions about me. Like, it's just all about you. you know, I just, I just, I am at a point in my life where i don't want to have relationships like that anymore.
01:54:46
Kristen
yeah
01:54:51
Melanie & Kristen
So I don't, and I don't remember like why we even started talking about that.
01:54:53
Kristen
Yeah.
01:54:56
Melanie & Kristen
What was the point that?
01:55:00
Melanie & Kristen
I guess it doesn't matter.
01:55:00
Kristen
I don't know.
01:55:01
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. Yeah.
01:55:01
Kristen
and don't know.
01:55:03
Melanie & Kristen
Anyways, you're sweetheart. you would never be mean to people.
01:55:05
Kristen
Thank you.
01:55:06
Melanie & Kristen
In fact, I think it hurts you to be mean to people.
01:55:10
Kristen
I mean, usually, although some people, i mean, just it's so funny, like are so offended by things that I do that I feel are so innocuous that I'm just like, what?
01:55:24
Kristen
One, you're offended what? And then like you unfriend me on socials over that? Okay.
01:55:31
Kristen
Adult women are so fun.
01:55:33
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, but those are people you don't necessarily care that much about in general.
01:55:33
Kristen
they
01:55:36
Kristen
No, no, it was, yeah, no, it was just a work colleague, but like, it was just funny.
01:55:36
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, exactly.
01:55:42
Kristen
Like the fact that some people feel like they're free to say whatever they want. And then if someone says,
01:55:50
Melanie & Kristen
Whatever they want. ha
01:55:52
Kristen
Yeah, no, she was, this person was talking about, this was like right after Trump was elected. And she was talking about, well, that. She thinks Trump is the Antichrist and this, that, and the other. And I'm just like, listen, in a perfect world, is he my favorite candidate ever? No.
01:56:15
Kristen
But between the two options we had, i don't know. I'm going with Trump. Sorry. um But then, in like, we live in Texas, and Texas outlawed abortion unless medical emergency. Like, there's stuff that's in place for that.
01:56:37
Kristen
And I don't know how many times medical professionals were like, if it is medically necessary, if the life of the mother is at risk, if da-da-da-da, like, et cetera, et cetera, please seek.
01:56:53
Kristen
emergency, you know, help and it will be given. Um, and people here went crazy over it.
01:57:05
Kristen
And this person was talking about, a very unfortunate experience that she had where she miscarried and she had to have, um, a DNC, which is they go and they dilate the uterus and they,
01:57:22
Kristen
empty the contents out. And she was like, you know, well, I had to have like that, that procedure is an abortion. So that wouldn't be allowed in Texas. And I'm like, well, and I didn't even, okay. Because I'm like, okay. Old me would have been like, actually, actually,
01:57:46
Kristen
actually. um
01:57:48
Melanie & Kristen
Oh.
01:57:49
Kristen
And then here are the links and sources that explain why you're wrong. Because I'm all about, listen, if people have accurate information, it's not like I'm trying to change your mind because I'm right. It's I'm trying to let you understand that you have a flawed like thought process that you're making your decisions based upon.
01:58:11
Kristen
um And so if you want to keep those decisions, fine, but be as educated about them as possible and not just like, you know, that's an abortion.
01:58:21
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
01:58:22
Kristen
run Okay, well, no, like it wouldn't be allowed. And I'm like, you don't have to even be pregnant or have anything in your uterus. Okay.
01:58:34
Kristen
to have a DNC. I'm like, so I did not even comment on hers. I commented on my own page, like, and it wasn't even a comment. It was basically a doctor explaining why and that wasn't an abortion, um, because they had to make videos to tell people that that was not an abortion. um
01:58:57
Kristen
So I'm like, well, here, maybe this medical doctor who's describing this. And I'm just going to share it. Just be like, in case anyone is like concerned, like this is the actual information.
01:59:08
Kristen
And she like was so offended. She unfriended me and then was commenting like, I can't believe some people are so heartless and da, da, da, da. And I'm just like. And I'm like, literally, i had a DNC done five years after my last pregnancy.
01:59:27
Kristen
Because I had ablation done on my uterus. Like I had, okay, my periods were very heavy. i would like pass clots.
01:59:36
Melanie & Kristen
Back story.
01:59:38
Kristen
ask me, have to explain. Like, I'm not just going in for a funsies. You know, it's like I was, i went in asking for a partial hysterectomy and they're like, let's try this process, you know, first.
01:59:51
Kristen
And I'm like, okay, again, I was given information and I looked into it and i'm like, okay, let me change my mind. Like, I like this.
01:59:59
Melanie & Kristen
yeah
01:59:59
Kristen
Thank you. That's helpful.
02:00:03
Kristen
So anyway, so yes, they had to, because there was so much that they had scraped off and like burned off, like cauterized in my uterus. They, and they had to do a DNC. So I'm like, so is that an abortion? No, it's not an abortion. Like it's a medical procedure. It's exactly what it is. And I used to also work medical in the medical field um and with billing and coding and all that stuff.
02:00:28
Kristen
um And they're like, well, when you miscarry, it's called a spontaneous abortion. I'm like, yeah, and that's not outlawed. Like, I just don't understand why people are.
02:00:38
Melanie & Kristen
Something your body naturally can do.
02:00:41
Kristen
Yeah, it's just, it's so dumb.
02:00:41
Melanie & Kristen
yeah
02:00:44
Kristen
And it's like, and when you go in for procedures and they're like, people are being turned away. I'm like, newsflash, people have been turned away from yeah ah ers since the early 2000s when I was working in that field to say, let your body do its thing naturally. And then if there's any complications come back because
02:01:07
Melanie & Kristen
you're taking up the bed for other people who actually need it.
02:01:07
Kristen
are our ERs are, so yes. Yeah. They're so overrun by people. Okay. That's a whole other conversation, but like people who are going in for doctor services because they don't have insurance. Yeah.
02:01:30
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah. And on that note,
02:01:33
Kristen
yeah Yeah.
02:01:38
Melanie & Kristen
Um, that'd be a fun thing to talk about next time.
02:01:44
Melanie & Kristen
Continue that.
02:01:45
Kristen
Okay.
02:01:47
Melanie & Kristen
All right. Well, we've been talking for about two hours yeah and I haven't eaten anything today yet.
02:01:50
Kristen
Oh gosh.
02:01:55
Melanie & Kristen
Pretty hungry. i also have to pee.
02:01:57
Kristen
But you look so pretty.
02:01:59
Melanie & Kristen
Oh my God, thank you.
02:02:00
Kristen
You're welcome.
02:02:01
Kristen
Your hair is so long.
02:02:01
Melanie & Kristen
Should I put...
02:02:03
Melanie & Kristen
I know. Thank you.
02:02:05
Kristen
Oh my gosh.
02:02:06
Melanie & Kristen
It's as long as Emma's. I don't think it can grow that long.
02:02:09
Kristen
Now Emma's is really long. It's like down to like the top of her butt crack. It's ridiculous. She like just cuts her own hair. She'll take it over and then she'll just be like. I'm
02:02:20
Melanie & Kristen
it
02:02:21
Kristen
like, cool. It's one way to do it.
02:02:24
Melanie & Kristen
And then when she puts it back, it's all uneven.
02:02:27
Kristen
She's like, no, it's not. It's fine. Okay. I don't argue, because why bother? She doesn't want to go to get her hair done, because they talk to her, and she doesn't like talking to people.
02:02:37
Melanie & Kristen
Why?
02:02:41
Melanie & Kristen
She should just say, i have autism and I don't want to talk to you, but I appreciate it.
02:02:45
Kristen
I think it's a cool experience.
02:02:46
Melanie & Kristen
And I'm not being mean. I just like, I'm really bad at this.
02:02:50
Kristen
I think it's, like, multi-sensory, like, stuff. It's, like, it's the cape tight tight around her neck. It's the it's the everything.
02:02:58
Melanie & Kristen
My, my person, it's like a robe. So it goes the opposite way and you of like, you know,
02:03:04
Kristen
okay yeah they've only done like super cuts because there's three of them none of them have gotten their hair cut by a professional person since we've moved here
02:03:20
Melanie & Kristen
Well, it's very in vogue right now to have long hair. I've noticed. I actually don't know if that's true, but I noticed a lot of people have long hair right now.
02:03:27
Kristen
all the young kids have long hair all three of mine have long hair
02:03:29
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
02:03:33
Melanie & Kristen
Um... Eric's cousin's daughter. His cousin's like in his 50s. So his daughter 14, I think. So like around Emma's age.
02:03:47
Melanie & Kristen
And she, was like, oh, have you ever seen Hocus Pocus? And she's like, no. I'm like, I'm sorry, what?
02:03:57
Melanie & Kristen
Because it's not – it's one of those like movies that's always featured on like Netflix. It's like, oh, it's Halloween. Watch Hocus Pocus or whatever, right?
02:04:05
Kristen
Reform, yeah.
02:04:07
Melanie & Kristen
Even though it was made in the 90s. No, never seen it. It's just – it's an older movie. I don't know. I've never seen it. And I was like, but it's Hocus Pocus.
02:04:20
Melanie & Kristen
And so then I was like, how old do you think I am? she goes, I 27. And was like, Yes, that's correct.
02:04:29
Kristen
Yes. I wasn't alive when this movie came out at all.
02:04:33
Melanie & Kristen
and Not at all. And even I've seen it.
02:04:43
Kristen
Could that not wait? sorry.
02:04:46
Melanie & Kristen
Are you?
02:04:49
Melanie & Kristen
I don't think you are.
02:04:53
Melanie & Kristen
still talking.
02:04:59
Kristen
Come here. You might as well come here.
02:05:01
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, now you're on now you're on the... Oh
02:05:04
Kristen
Look at how curly her hair is. My goodness. Come here. oh It's curly. It's still pretty curly.
02:05:09
Melanie & Kristen
my gosh. You look like the lion from the Wizard of Oz.
02:05:11
Kristen
It's not curly. was thinking she was like Lady and the Tramp with like the...
02:05:18
Melanie & Kristen
Oh, that too.
02:05:20
Kristen
It's a little smash because I slept on it.
02:05:21
Melanie & Kristen
So this is from wearing your like bonnet and then doing like a curly girl method.
02:05:28
Kristen
Well, yesterday I took a shower and went to bed on wet hater.
02:05:28
Melanie & Kristen
Do you do a curly girl method?
02:05:32
Melanie & Kristen
I just took a shower.
02:05:33
Kristen
Not really. and so this But did you use the kind like the brush to separate them? This is just... Oh my gosh. I would love... Although...
02:05:43
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah, that's crazy. My hair doesn't do that at all. my hair is I like styled it and everything. It's just like. Yeah.
02:05:52
Kristen
bye. i love you.
02:05:56
Kristen
So fun.
02:05:56
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
02:05:57
Kristen
get so many. interruptions here love it okay
02:05:59
Melanie & Kristen
Yeah.
02:06:02
Melanie & Kristen
All right. Well, I love you. go pee.
02:06:04
Kristen
love you okay until next time it's been real it's been fun i'm gonna go on my uh vibration plate okay bye i will thank you okay bye
02:06:07
Melanie & Kristen
All
02:06:13
Melanie & Kristen
right. Okay. Have fun with your lymphatic drainage. Okay. Bye.