Transcript
Chris: Welcome back to another episode of the Mythic Giraffe Podcast. I'm Chris.
fuckdawind: And that time I got no music. What the heck?
Chris: I didn't get any either. I don't know what was going on with it.
fuckdawind: thought we were just sitting in silence for a little bit.
Chris: Yeah, it just like...
fuckdawind: I'm Ron.
Chris: It went on, it went off. I don't know. We're recording. That's what matters.
fuckdawind: That's what matters.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: We're professionals.
Chris: It's something. ah So, I gotta to start with a rant.
fuckdawind: I love it.
Chris: The wind... everybody knows I hate the wind. I'm the old man shaking his fist at the wind.
Chris: Flew back to Baltimore yesterday. And when we first got on the plane down in Florida, they're like, oh, you know, it should be a smooth ride till we get closer to Baltimore. They've got some, you know lateral winds, which lateral winds. I'm like, what do we have downwinds? What? Whatever.
Chris: And they're like, yeah, it might you a little choppy there. Okay. Yeah. Whatever. I've had my, you know, motion sickness pill. I took a second one just in case. We get close and some turbulence starts. I'm like, okay, passengers, get ready for landing. where you know this Might get a little bumpy, but yeah we're on our way. See you on the ground or something like that. We're like, okay.
Chris: It was up, down, left, right, like craziness coming in.
fuckdawind: Oh boy. Oh, oh no. Oh
Chris: Yeah, yeah, pretty much. so I'm like, OK, I can deal with this. And then i guess because of the wind, he came in too hot because we felt the wheels go gong.
fuckdawind: no.
Chris: And then you hear the engines boom and he goes right back up.
fuckdawind: oh oh no
Chris: Yeah, so ah there's a guy in the seats like to the left of us who is like,
fuckdawind: oh no
Chris: leaned over praying there are kids asking mommy what's going on i'm trying not to have a panic attack and vomit at the same time my wife's going what can i do for you i was like nothing nothing just i gotta ride this out this is awesome yeah like i i seriously thought he came in too low at first and hit a house that's what it felt like and he never said anything
fuckdawind: We're at a tin box of death. There's nothing we can do.
fuckdawind: boy probably was shitting his pants. Oh my God. Oh my God.
Chris: yes right so we're like circling and the wind is still buffeting us i'm like holding my pressure point at one point i've got my pressure point held with one hand the puke bag in my other hand i noticed that i can't feel the puke bag because i'm hyperventilating just on and on and then finally find go go go and we were on the ground i was like that it was literally you joked about it yes the entire plane clapped ron
fuckdawind: Oh, so you did clap.
Chris: I didn't because I couldn't feel my hands. Yeah. Yeah. And the fire chief, you know, eight rows ahead of me. Oh, did you shit your pants? Yes. Yes, chief. I did.
Chris: God. ah yeah
fuckdawind: If you ever want to like, you know, never fly again, watch videos of planes that come in lateral winds and they have to literally turn the plane 45 degrees and then kick it, kick the wind, the ass back on the way, just as they touch down. It's pretty scary.
Chris: Yeah. Feeling that engine. Okay.
fuckdawind: That is...
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah, I don't like it normally when you land and they they put the engine in reverse thrust and just, the engine, and then you slow down real quick.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: But, you know, you can just like, oh, it's, oh, we're accelerating again. Oh, shit.
Chris: yeah yeah
fuckdawind: Yeah, that's scary. mike My poor mother, this poor woman. So she flew, just trying to think when this is going to be out.
fuckdawind: Eh, people don't
Chris: This is out on the 16th, because today is Pi Day.
fuckdawind: Oh, right, right.
Chris: Yeah, this comes out on St. Paddy's Eve.
fuckdawind: Say Patty's Eve.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: So she's on a trip. You know, I don't like to be given specifics over the internet, but ah she flew in to Philly.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: She was supposed to fly into Philly on Monday.
Chris: Hmm.
fuckdawind: She was going to come into Philly. were going have but dinner Monday night. My brother was going to drive over and have dinner, have the whole thing. And then like Tuesday, she was to hang out and then she was going to go Wednesday.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: She gets to the airport in Birmingham, Alabama on Monday night. She's supposed to be there. I think their flight was supposed to be at 3.
fuckdawind: She said she got there like 11.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: like why did you get there so early she's like don't know right so and it's a small airport so it's like you're in that through security so quick so so she she sat there for like three four hours and then finally they're like um your flight's been delayed so she's texting me this whole time hey my flight's been delayed i'm like oh that sucks whatever it must be but you know it's sunny and clear here so who knows what the weather is there right
Chris: Oof. Yeah, you're not going international.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Right. Yeah. I mean, there's a big swath of real estate between there and here.
fuckdawind: Yeah. So then like five o'clock, they're like, oh, your flight's, they told her your flight's delayed till five at five or four 58 something like that.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: They're like, oh, your flight's been canceled. And she's like, what?
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: So now she's like at the airport, you know, she's got to call her husband and say, come get me.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: oh my gosh what line was she flying oh okay okay yeah absolutely
fuckdawind: So I tell, um, Southwest, I think.
fuckdawind: and she had a hotel room up here you know all this so she had to pay for you know all that crap and I told her I was like I would be calling Southwest and say you owe me a hotel room for the night you know so her next flight was at like 4 30 in the morning she basically stay at the airport all day and she's like i had to get up at three o'clock in morning go to the airport like god sakes so then she gets here we have nice day it's lovely she drives so she's flying out of newark on wednesday and like it's a sunny beautiful 86 degrees when she leaves i'm like oh you're gonna have nice weather her flying
Chris: ah that's fun hmm Okay.
Chris: Yeah. Okay.
fuckdawind: And I start getting alerts. Tornadoes in the area. Weather at 4 o'clock. And she's flying at 530. I'm like, oh my god. Luckily, she got away. She flew.
fuckdawind: Made it safely. So, 16 hour flight.
Chris: Ooh. Wait, why 16 hours?
fuckdawind: She's going very far distance.
Chris: But not that far.
fuckdawind: It's pretty far. pretty
Chris: um but I mean, for us to fly down to Florida is like two and a quarter.
fuckdawind: Okay, now take that distance and times it by eight.
Chris: No. not that far.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: I don't know. No, because when I flew to Seattle, it was a five hour flight.
fuckdawind: I don't know if
fuckdawind: it... Okay, take that distance and times it by three.
Chris: No, no, it is further from the East Coast to the West Coast than it is from the East Coast to the Gulf.
fuckdawind: Yes.
fuckdawind: No, no, no, she wasn't flying back to Alabama.
Chris: Oh, oh okay
fuckdawind: and no no no yeah so no no no no she's she's on a trip in africa
Chris: Yeah, I'm like, wait a second. What kind of jackass crazy route? Oh, i was like, oh, did she fly? You know, instead flying south, they went north.
fuckdawind: oh but her her her flight to philly so her flight from philly from alabama to philadelphia usually takes about two hours uh she had a layover in dallas
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Oh, that's interesting.
fuckdawind: Yeah, I'm like, that's the wrong direction, but yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah. Poor woman.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: She doesn't like finding the best times, and it was not good.
Chris: We, uh, yeah, that's, yeah, it's going to be a while for, I get on a plane.
fuckdawind: Yeah, I'm sure.
Chris: but When we left Sunday, we had to be, we figured it out. We had to be at the airport at like, I can't remember like eight o'clock, seven o'clock, something like that. we're like, okay, you know, we'll get up early this and that we get up getting ready.
Chris: my wife gets a text, hey, your flight's been delayed two hours. It's like, well, this is information that would have been delightful last night. So have slept in. But the app was still showing that it was on time. And we we're like, wow so we hung out for a little while. And it's like look, we're both up. Let's just drive to the damn airport. So we drive the two hours to the airport.
Chris: And like as we get there, everything finally updates. And like, yeah, you're pushed 1130 or whatever. Like, OK, cool. So yeah, hang out at an airport for a little while. But Yeah. ah ha Yeah.
fuckdawind: it's never a fun experience there's not no part of it and my mother and I yeah I flew around here once
Chris: No, no. And we flew Frontier, which is like, yeah, theres that is bare bones. I mean, you know for I could not imagine flying with them for over two hours, but for a two hour flight, it's fine.
fuckdawind: right yeah I took that out of Florida it's an hour and a half three hour flight it's not bad but if it was to Seattle no yeah no
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: No, no, no, o no, no. Yeah, like my wife and I were talking about, they have the smallest flip down trays. They're like the size of an iPhone.
fuckdawind: I don't even use it. or When I'm on a two hour plate but i'm gonna to our flight, I get in my seat, I open my Kindle, and I just, I'm out until I'm at the location.
Chris: It was just like, we're falling down. I'm like, well, that's cute.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: no i don't need I don't need food service.
Chris: Yeah, that's, yeah yeah. On the way down, I watched a movie.
fuckdawind: I'm not an animal.
Chris: Yeah. Well, that's, it yeah. i mean, you have to, pay for everything. There's no peanuts or anything, whatever.
fuckdawind: Right.
Chris: But yeah i didn yeah, same thing. It's like, I didn't eat that. And then also, I had a bottle of water with me. So yeah.
fuckdawind: Right, yeah.
Chris: But ah yeah, yeah. Flew or ah watch a movie on the way down, on the way back, read some, and watched some. So I finally started reading Heir to the Empire.
fuckdawind: Oh!
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Liking it?
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
fuckdawind: No.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Have you shown everybody your lightsaber yet?
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: A lot of people, yes. Yeah, that's that's part of the that's part of my topic.
fuckdawind: Oh, that's right, sure.
Chris: big so yeah no no you yeah so But yeah yeah, it was ah definitely yeah got a nice old sunburn one afternoon. That was delightful. My wife fussed at me. I told you put sunscreen on. Well, my legs were out of the umbrella.
Chris: The rest of me was not, so my legs got burnt. And of course, its it was like a straight line down my legs where the sun was at an angle. So yeah. But the good thing was it was you know a conference that I wore slacks to every day. So it's not like during that.
fuckdawind: Yeah. Pants.
fuckdawind: Terrible. Oh, yeah, I know.
Chris: to.
fuckdawind: My erstwhile friend slash boss slash boss's boss's boss is making me wear pants on Tuesday.
Chris: have to
fuckdawind: I think I have to. I'm
Chris: highly encouraged oh my god you would you would look like a postal worker yeah they're not mutants
fuckdawind: not wearing my blue shirt with ah with no pants.
fuckdawind: I would look like a postal worker. Yeah. I'd have to go down and talk to the mutant kids. Yo, kids want to stop beating them muskrats and talk about jobs?
Chris: so that i messaged you about this While at this conference and you know thinking about yeah your mother flying from yeah Alabama or whatever, i I know there are some very intelligent people with Southern accents, but it it doesn't instill confidence at first.
fuckdawind: No.
Chris: Can you imagine that a pilot comes on? All right, y'all. cleanest doneunts
fuckdawind: All right, y'all. We're going to kick the tires and wake this
Chris: Cletus Dunn said we're full of fuel.
fuckdawind: I tell you, I got a hammy in this, son of bitch. We're going fly all the way down. Yeah, it's it's the it's the British thing, right? British people sound smart, even though they're complete idiots sometimes.
Chris: yeah
Chris: Right.
fuckdawind: Yeah, we Americans fall for our accents.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Now looky here.
fuckdawind: And it's, it's, it's,
Chris: They say we got us a tailwind. We're going to get there even faster.
fuckdawind: it's so weird.
Chris: Faster than a June bug in July.
fuckdawind: It's so weird in, in 2026 America though, because like, it feels like the only accent that I hear in Americans different anymore is really the Southern accent.
fuckdawind: All the other accents are just kind of merged. Like you'll get a little Jersey from a Jersey person, but it's,
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: But usually it's an old, it's like middle age and up that you hear that.
fuckdawind: Right. So like, it's just the southern accent that's holding strong. And boy, it's really not helping their case.
Chris: Gosh. Do you think like the whole, like, you know, it's one of those things, you know, Hey, you're going to teach, you know, down here in mighty Mississippi. Well, we can't have none them.
Chris: Northern accents.
fuckdawind: Well, they also named all of their states to have an accent when you say them. Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana. Come on, people. You could have come up with some easier names for yourselves.
Chris: Missouri.
fuckdawind: Missouri. come The Kaka Lackies.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. And it's, it is it's just, it's that like Eastern Texas to like, it kind of skirts Western Florida incorporates like George,
fuckdawind: And you'll never...
fuckdawind: Oh, it no, Western Florida definitely has.
Chris: Yeah, but I say it there and then like Georgia, Carolina, and then back over.
fuckdawind: You've never met somebody who says, I'm from the Okafinoke Swamp, and you're like, yes, you are, sir.
Chris: you from nowa Yeah. Didn't have any Uber drivers like that while we were down there.
fuckdawind: No?
Chris: No, no. ah ah
fuckdawind: Well, you were in Orlando. It's not really a
Chris: Yeah, yeah, they were all, yeah, Hispanic speaking.
fuckdawind: Oh, speaking of drivers, I got a rant, and it's, it's, oh, it's only my own fault.
Chris: Uh oh. Yes.
fuckdawind: We've gotten lazy in the, in the household here, and now we grow up up things.
Chris: yeah o
fuckdawind: And we're, We need to get our lives that together anyways. But like, we just have a rule. if it's within like so many, you know, feet of my house, I'm going go pick it up. But now it's like you got to order on Grubhub anyways, and you're just lazy and you're just like, so we ordered Grubhub last night, getting our Indian food.
fuckdawind: We ordered, you know, we actually ordered early because we had things going on. So we were like, oh, we'll get dinner, be here by five-ish. We can eat dinner be done. Go to bed by 6.30 because we're old people.
fuckdawind: So at like 5.20, I'm like, where the hell is our food? Then finally, like 10 minutes later, shows up. And my wife picks up the bag, takes upstairs, and says, the hell Nicholas?
fuckdawind: Why is there ramen here? So
Chris: Nicholas, Ron.
fuckdawind: we
Chris: Yeah, I can see all that. Yeah.
fuckdawind: so i call the Uber guy, um or the grandma guy. I'm like, yo, you delivered the wrong food. oh what? I'm like, yo Nicholas has my food.
Chris: El fudo is wrong-o.
fuckdawind: Right. And so we're like, what the fuck are you doing? And he's like, well, you're just gonna have to call Grubhub and they'll refund it. I'm like, yeah, but who's getting screwed out of this deal? Because if you made your money, gonna be really pissed off.
Chris: Right.
fuckdawind: So then like, but yeah I'll give Grubhub props. They immediately refunded the money. Like it was, this guy ordered the wrong...
Chris: Yeah. But that still doesn't put food in your belly.
fuckdawind: Right. So then we have to order again. And the the restaurant calls us. They're like, why are you ordering the same thing twice? And they're like, ah this fucking right fucking driver.
Chris: Ask Grubhub.
fuckdawind: I'm like, make sure that motherfucker doesn't pick it up this time. Maybe somebody else. But I was made it's like, man, it's so annoying. And I'm like... It's gotta be so... I used to work as a manager for a Domino's and like half your job was just wrangling the drivers because they're crazy people.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I'm sure it's a nightmare because now they don't even work for the restaurants. You know, they work independent contractors, but boy, nothing's more annoying than you're like, I really want my Indian food.
Chris: Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: And then two hours later, you get your Indian food. Ugh.
Chris: yeah we've had it where like half the order's right and then half the order is somebody else's that's like i guess i'm gonna go ahead and eat while you wait
fuckdawind: That's pretty good.
fuckdawind: don't want mine to get cold.
Chris: yeah but you yeah i mean you're right they make it so easy now especially because you're like oh you have amazon prime you have grubhub plus or whatever so yeah
fuckdawind: Right, right. I know, it's terrible, but it's so good.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. We definitely had a couple of drivers that spoke no English. Like the one guy we got to the restaurant, we're like, thank you. And he just turns around and double thumbs up.
fuckdawind: You know what?
Chris: Hey, that's so that was one thing we were talking.
fuckdawind: That's all in your life.
Chris: So taking an Uber, Lyft, taxi, whatever. Do you want to talk to the person or not?
fuckdawind: No.
Chris: No.
fuckdawind: I've done both.
Chris: Yeah. I think it depends on how they.
fuckdawind: It's... Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: i tell you this so a few years ago i went on a bike ride and i was doing i was doing a metric that day it was 113 degrees outside so it was so hot that i was like burning through water bottles and i had to stop and you know buy water bottles at like places so i i'm on this bike ride it get to like mile 50 and i blow a tire
Chris: Ooh.
fuckdawind: And, you know, I didn't have a spare because I'm an idiot and my bike's annoying anyways. And it's never been right since I went to this freaking tubeless system.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: So i call it ah I got an Uber XL. And was like, I have a bike.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
fuckdawind: You can break down into a little bit smaller, but I have a bike I have to take with me. and I'm dying. And this lady came out, and she's like, oh yeah, no, i got, we can put your bike in my car, we, we, and she had a big old X-Glade or whatever.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
fuckdawind: And she saved my life, so I talked to her the whole way. Because I was getting, I was walking, I was like, screw it, I'll just walk the 12 miles to my house.
fuckdawind: Yeah, that that wasn't gonna happen.
Chris: oh no oh
fuckdawind: I got like a half mile in, pushing this bike in my bike shoes, and I'm like, I'm gonna die on the side of the street here.
Chris: yeah yeah because you don't want to go barefoot yeah yeah the one guy we had he was uh we were all like joking around and you know
fuckdawind: Well, no. Absolutely not on hot asphalt. Yeah.
Chris: telling stories about like um of high school or middle school, like field trips and stuff. And he like interjected in one part, we're all laughing, you know, just joking around everything. And, um, my wife knows he had like this sign that says, you know, I do marathons that support, you know, all this stuff. Yeah. The guy, or he does a triathlons.
Chris: He was an amputee and does regular triathlons to like motivate and stuff. We're like, yeah, you're getting a tip.
fuckdawind: ah I walked to the neighborhood, front of an neighborhood once. I'm a hero.
Chris: Yeah, that was one thing that was disappointing where we stayed. There wasn't a lot in walking distance.
fuckdawind: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: So.
fuckdawind: That sucks when you can't walk places.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Welcome to America, man.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Like the ones that we were trying to figure out dinner. I was like, oh, it looks like there's a bunch of restaurants over here. My wife was like, that's Disney Springs. That will be insane. i was like, oh, okay.
fuckdawind: Right, right. Yeah, yeah. Well,
Chris: So. But, yeah. Survive the wind. So, yeah.
fuckdawind: I'm glad you got to miss out on some of the bad weather here.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Because it was literally 80 degrees to 26 degrees. It snowed. It was literally 86 degrees and snowed the next day.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. We pulled it up on the ring camera like, oh, that is snow. so
Chris: Yeah. So.
fuckdawind: I got one day on my bike and then it was snowing.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Very annoying.
Chris: Yep. Well, I just got a thing that popped across my computer is like, temperatures to plummet or something. I'm like, what the hell? Lousy smart weather.
fuckdawind: Lousy smart weather. Damn Simpsons.
Chris: oh Yeah.
fuckdawind: They got it right.
Chris: Yeah, thought in so many ways.
Chris: Well, ready for Topico Uno?
fuckdawind: Yeah, and Topogundo is really just a rant, and it's probably a rant I've already done before, and nobody does anything about it, but I am still angry.
Chris: It's fine.
Chris: Yes.
fuckdawind: no one in the four states i drive in regularly has a lick a goddamn common decency when it comes to driving or parking this is it's out of control yeah this morning my wife and went to the grocery store we're gonna be productive human adults go to the grocery store we were we're out the door by seven o'clock pull into a parking lot there is a tractor trailer
Chris: Right.
Chris: Mm-hmm.
fuckdawind: who is in the regular driving area of the parking lot, which is not supposed to be in. you're supposed to pull around the back of the parking lot. and if you're in a tractor trailer, that's one of the goddamn rules.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: He's literally in between. He's basically in the middle of the lane. So he's blocking both sides and he's just stopped.
Chris: Oh.
Chris: Classy.
fuckdawind: So I'm like, do you motherfucker? And so I'm honking my horn. He doesn't move. So finally like.
Chris: Well, he's probably working out his right arm for the, you know, arm wrestling competition he's going to.
fuckdawind: Probably. Probably believe true. So then, like, peeked the car over, and just as I start to edge around him, he starts moving again.
Chris: Oh.
fuckdawind: I'm like, you fucking motherfucker. And the number of people who park in the damn fire lane, it's insane. And it it just, I can't, can't move past it.
fuckdawind: I cannot move past it Christopher.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: It's insane.
Chris: i' I'm with you. My wife says I'm going to get shot because as we walk up to a store, I'm like loud as could be. Well, that's a funny looking ambulance or that's a weird looking fire truck.
fuckdawind: And it's sometimes it boggles my mind because they park further away from their entrance in the fire lane than if they had parked in a parking space.
Chris: Oh,
Chris: yeah yeah yeah
fuckdawind: And I cannot, I can't deal with it. I don't know what to do with myself. I need i i think I need real psychotherapy about this. Because I'm getting so...
Chris: no the other people need the therapy because it's it's just in consideration it's it's i'm the most important person so i get to do whatever the hell i want and screw everybody else on the road or the parking lot or whatever
fuckdawind: God...
fuckdawind: But they, they, they notoriously, the, the, the, so I was in a front of my neighborhood has this little curve and they'll park in the fire lane on the curve.
fuckdawind: So no one can get around.
Chris: What?
fuckdawind: And it's like infuriating. It just makes me want to drive around in a tow truck all of the time. It,
Chris: Maybe find a, like an older square body truck and we'll put a snow plow on the front of it, but it'll actually be like a cow catcher and you just, yeah.
fuckdawind: Mad Max style.
Chris: Yeah. Just go to town.
fuckdawind: I, dude, I am there is a part of me, there's a part of me that would take all of my savings and do that right now.
Chris: God, my God. That sounds like but that, that would be my retirement dream.
fuckdawind: And I would just drive around until the cops killed me just pushing cars cars off the the fire lanes.
Chris: don't think they would i think they would applaud you yeah yeah yeah
fuckdawind: I just, I can't deal with it anymore. And it it only feels like it's getting worse. And it's just, it's like there was a guy, I went to stop at Dunkin' Donuts after the gym yesterday. And in front of the Dunkin' Donuts, there are five empty parking spaces.
fuckdawind: He parked in the fire lane, blocking other cars in next to the Dunkin' Donuts.
Chris: oh but for her
fuckdawind: You would have been three feet from the entrance of the Dunga Dudes if you parked in a parking space. But you said you parked 20 feet away blocking a fire lane.
fuckdawind: I just... And it just... Nobody can drive around you.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: You're blocking trucks from getting where they're supposed to be.
Chris: Right.
fuckdawind: God help you, there's an ambulance or a fire truck.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: I just... oh And no one seems to do anything about it. Nobody.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I was so excited when the rumor was that we were going to hand out filing violations in the city. I was ready to make millions of dollars for the city of Salzburg.
fuckdawind: I don't understand why nobody enforces it.
Chris: uh
fuckdawind: It's $50 fine or something, right?
Chris: yeah yeah well in my work car i've got the little like the warnings that's like you know you put underneath their windshield wiper you shouldn't be parking here kind of things oh i i i use those
fuckdawind: No, no. No warnings. No warnings. Firebombing.
Chris: ah that's that's what we could use the drones for
fuckdawind: Yes, there you go. we could pay somebody to firebomb cars with drones.
Chris: Yes.
fuckdawind: And by the way, people, just because your your friend is sitting in the car does not allow you to park in the fire lane.
Chris: Right.
fuckdawind: it's it's not it's not parked but oh my buddy's still in the car move your goddamn car
Chris: Yeah. There's, it's not like a little, yeah, caption underneath it that says fire lane, you know, no parking. It doesn't say, you know, unless your buddy's in the car.
fuckdawind: right and if if you have an elderly or disabled person and you need to drop them off you drop them off and then you move your fucking car you just move your fucking car
Chris: Yeah, go park. Yeah.
fuckdawind: ah could tell you this. I'm going be insulting to all of you. You could use the extra 15 feet of walking.
Chris: Oh, well, yeah, absolutely.
fuckdawind: Every one of you.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
fuckdawind: It might solve some problems.
Chris: It might solve some of your problems.
fuckdawind: You just walk a little further.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: That's correct.
Chris: Or that's like you talk about parking lots. but I raged a couple weeks ago because it infuriates me. There are one you can tell by the way the parking spots are angled, which way you're supposed to go in.
Chris: Part two, there are giant arrows that say, you know, this way or that way.
fuckdawind: It's true, too.
Chris: And the other day, had already parked and I look and this jackass is coming the wrong way. And there's another vehicle that's going the right way.
Chris: And yeah my wife was like, oh, maybe he'll move her let him over. i was like, I hope not. He didn't.
fuckdawind: Nice.
Chris: He went bumper to bumper and push literally pushed that person out of the parking lot.
fuckdawind: That's my hero.
Chris: made them reverse the whole way i i wanted to yeah throw laurels at them yeah oh my gosh yeah yeah it's we need a way to identify these vehicles
fuckdawind: Call the mayor. like could Take or take parade.
fuckdawind: Yes. Fire bombings.
fuckdawind: You'll identify them. They'll be a burnt out husk.
Chris: well that was last night coming home we get in the vehicle BW leaving the airport parking garage at right around 6 o'clock.
Chris: What time do you think I got home?
fuckdawind: Oh, you left BWI on a Friday night at 6 o'clock.
Chris: Yep.
fuckdawind: Now, I'm going to ask you a question.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Did you go north or south?
Chris: East? 50.
fuckdawind: Would you go up through Delaware or did you go down through the Bay Bridge?
Chris: that we fifty
fuckdawind: Ooh, I'm going to say conservatively you got home at 9.30.
Chris: you're dead on and you want to know because from annapolis to the other side of the bay bridge it was an hour and a half and you want to know why because it was ass clowns not knowing how to merge not seeing the whole oh this lane ends in a mile get over now oh no let's drive all the way down there and again there was a hero this guy in his big truck
fuckdawind: Yeah, I
fuckdawind: oh yeah, yeah. yeah
Chris: pulls over into the, you know, middle of that lane and is like daring people to go around him at one point.
fuckdawind: Yeah, my wife eats me, because I'm
Chris: Yeah. I was so tempted to turn the lights on and like, oh.
fuckdawind: oh i facebook is I will not. I will drive that person into the Jersey barrier before I allow them.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
fuckdawind: i will I will literally endanger my own safety before I allow those people in.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: now Look, there's an accident and you don't have you don't know that it's coming up. That's one thing. You got a sign telling you merge a half a mile ago? You should have merged.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: You're now responsible. We should put out rumble strips with fucking landmines on them.
fuckdawind: and Oh, and Maryland's going to solve your problem with the Bay Bridge because they're goingnna put two new spans correctly directly next to the other two spans so that you'll have four bridges merging together.
fuckdawind: That's really going to fix the problem, Maryland.
Chris: What?
fuckdawind: Morons.
Chris: And last night. I was like, okay, I can almost see why people, you know, we're getting all this because, you know, you've got the lane jumpers going back and forth. i' like, just stay in your damn lane, stay in your lane.
fuckdawind: Stay the end lane.
Chris: You'll be fine. Stay in your lane. But when we get onto the bridge, we're still slowly. It was like, once we got to, don't know, the three quarter point of the bridge traffic just magically started to speed up.
Chris: I'm like, there's nothing around here. There's no change, no nothing. What? i some of the idiocy leaves you i guess maybe i don't know yeah
fuckdawind: i would rather drive to the atlantic ocean buy a boat and ferry my vehicle across instead of taking that bay bridge i cannot stand the bay bridge it is awfully designed and maryland just is like it seems like every year maryland's like what's gonna make it slightly worse it's terrible and you can't
Chris: yeah
Chris: yeah
Chris: yeah
Chris: The original engineer has like some rider in there. It's like, you must do this to piss people off every year.
fuckdawind: Right. and and it's There's no good time to be on that bridge.
Chris: No. No.
fuckdawind: Because you're like, oh, it's Friday night in March.
Chris: No.
fuckdawind: No one's going to the beach.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: The Bay Bridge is going to be fine.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Nope. It's not.
Chris: Oh, well, this week is spring break for most of the colleges around here.
fuckdawind: That's fair.
Chris: So that's part of it. But
fuckdawind: They don't really go to Ocean City for spring break, though.
Chris: There are some that probably do, but yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'll be going Florida.
Chris: don't know. My daughter came home for spring break, so
fuckdawind: Well, yeah, I don't expect her to go to Florida for the break.
Chris: yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah, the one.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yep. Yep. Had that conversation. Yeah. was it Oh, and I love the way that like the Bay Bridge. Yeah. Oh, well to ease things up, we'll allow you to drive against traffic on certain times.
fuckdawind: Right. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: And last night they didn't because of the wind advisory, but is but i I hate that.
fuckdawind: just get rid of the merging just if it's going to be two lanes be two lanes of b52 lanes instead of eight it doesn't make any sense what you're doing maryland the whole thing and because then you get on the other side of the of the bay bridge what size is that road but that's it yeah you can't keep adding lanes for god's sakes maryland what is wrong with you people
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Three lanes. Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. If bridge is two lane, road leading two should be two lane.
fuckdawind: Like, you don't get onto 495 going to Delroy Bridge when it goes from like 17 lanes to 3.
Chris: oh
fuckdawind: It's 3 lanes. That's it.
fuckdawind: Goddamn. Maryland.
Chris: But again, i think a big part of it is if people weren't just me, me, me.
fuckdawind: well, yeah.
Chris: it would be so much easier with driving yeah or self-driving cars
fuckdawind: 100%. But again, we can solve that problem. Landmines. If you knew... Well, that too. But if you knew there was a 70% chance that a landmine was going to be underneath your car if you didn't merge, you would have merged earlier. I guarantee it.
Chris: I would like to do the Gallup poll on that what is the percentage yeah like if they said oh there's a five percent chance your car is going to explode
fuckdawind: ah Before they decide to you know, just do it.
fuckdawind: Oh. Oh.
Chris: And then, yeah, just, know, is it five, 10, 15?
fuckdawind: I bet five's too low.
Chris: yeah,
fuckdawind: I bet 5% people would still risk it.
Chris: yeah. Well, I'm saying, what's that, you know, magic tipping point?
fuckdawind: Yeah, it's got to be... I bet it's got to be above 50%. Because I think even if 50% of these maniacs would be like, yeah, but I could save 30 seconds.
Chris: Really?
Chris: But also, Mad Max style, we have to leave the charred husk of car on the side.
fuckdawind: Oh.
Chris: Oh, no, that should be like hanging.
fuckdawind: You're getting... Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we have to put little little totem poles with their, you know, burnout cars. Like you when you go under the bridge and it's got the, like, the the little overpass over hanging from that should be burnt out cars.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Just letting you know what happens.
Chris: Yeah. Thinking about not merging.
fuckdawind: Right. So did this guy. Right? Like the fire lane should be just full of burnout vehicles until we realize, oh, we've we've corrected society's problems.
Chris: my gosh.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
fuckdawind: and that 100%. Yeah.
Chris: Do you think they did that like in the old west? Like with car with horses and buggies. yeah Well, yeah, they had hitching. Well, no, they had hitching posts. You had to have some place to tie your horse up.
Chris: So I guess it was a predesignated spot. But I'm sure there were probably assholes who just, you I'm just going leave my horse here and run into the saloon for a minute.
fuckdawind: yeah and
fuckdawind: Yeah. I'm sure there were.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: People are just assholes.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: And the only way to deal with them is firebombings.
Chris: Firebombing is the answer.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, yeah.
fuckdawind: I feel better for the rant. Thank you for letting get that off my chest.
Chris: Yeah, but yeah, yeah. Do we?
fuckdawind: Didn't solve anything.
Chris: No, have a, yeah, if it makes you feel better. I'm just trying to think. Do we start with like slashing their tires?
fuckdawind: No.
Chris: No.
fuckdawind: I think we go full firebombing first day.
Chris: Okay, uh-huh.
fuckdawind: Because, look, you slash the tires people are that might be criminal. If they see the fire department pull up in a vehicle, attach a Molotov cocktail to the vehicle, and drive away, they're going to get the hint.
Chris: yeah yeah yeah that's uh that's quite the hint see i thought or yeah the drones yeah you hear a drone you're like oh shabard move better move better move yeah oh yeah
fuckdawind: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Or the drunk guy. i one
fuckdawind: Yeah. Yeah, but I think even that wouldn't stop a bunch of them. Honestly think that wouldn't be enough. I don't know the answer besides just allow not allowing these people to drive.
Chris: yeah
fuckdawind: it Just immediate revocation of privileges. You are too selfish to drive. The system does not work with you in it because the whole system is based on you for the most part are going to follow the rules.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Oh, can you imagine that? there' There's take away the firebombing. Yeah. Oh, you're caught doing that? Congratulations. You can't drive for a year and you have to take driver's ed.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah. Because you're too selfish to park your vehicle correctly.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: That means I can't trust you to drive on a road and not hurt somebody.
Chris: ah
Chris: yeah
fuckdawind: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Oh my gosh.
fuckdawind: This has less of the vindictiveness, right? It's a corrective action.
Chris: Yeah, this is a corrective action.
fuckdawind: I'm less excited about it, but you know, it probably would work.
Chris: Yeah. Oh, but yeah third of, oh, if, you know, three strikes and you're out.
fuckdawind: Right.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Right. And we find you that we've already suspended your license for this and you do it again. We're burning your car down.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: We might allow you to get out.
Chris: Oh, it's one of those. Yeah. Yeah. You've, you've done this, you know, You've passed your driver's ed. It's been the year. You're back in your car. Oh, and by the way, there's now a device in your car that if you park in the fire lane, it's going to go off.
fuckdawind: Just got to go off. Like it.
Chris: Oh, yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah,
Chris: It's like it's like for like drunk drivers, they have the blow box.
fuckdawind: yeah yeah yeah, yeah.
Chris: Yeah. I mean, we'd have to put sensors in parking lots and fire lanes, but still, i mean, that's.
fuckdawind: You got the fire lane.
fuckdawind: Well, no, you got to you've got these cameras now, these stupid flat cameras that they're using to to you know spy on us everywhere.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Hmm. Yeah.
fuckdawind: We see your car in a fire lane?
Chris: Oh, yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yep. Oh, yeah. We don't even have to put the device. It it reads the tag. it says, oh, Bill shouldn't be doing this. He's already been you know reprimanded once. And then, yeah.
fuckdawind: And then the giant thing from...
Chris: A mortar comes out.
fuckdawind: Right, the giant thing from RoboCop comes out and says, you have three seconds to comply.
Chris: Oh, God. What was the name of that robot?
fuckdawind: I don't remember.
Chris: Something.
fuckdawind: Sorry,
Chris: Crazy. Oh, God.
fuckdawind: you had put the gun down. You have two seconds to comply.
Chris: Go, go, go, go, go.
fuckdawind: No, I think that's all of this solves all of our problems.
fuckdawind: Rant over.
Chris: What was the ED209? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You see an ED209 coming at you. Yeah, you're going to correct your actions.
fuckdawind: You are going to for sure make an effort.
Chris: Yeah. Or suffer the righteous consequence.
Chris: I like it.
fuckdawind: Which you deserve.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. We could spin this. ah bet the mayor.
fuckdawind: I
Chris: I bet the mayor be on board.
fuckdawind: I bet the mayor, eh, he might, you know.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Well, ready to move on to topic dose.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Dose. So, yeah, took a yeah trip down to Florida for work and added a day ahead of it to ah yeah take out some take in some of the ah festivities down there. And my wife set us up and we went to Hollywood Studios day one and spent 90% of the day at Galaxy's Edge.
fuckdawind: I mean, that's where you go.
Chris: And it was amazing.
Chris: I felt like a child again for some of it. I had goosebumps quite a bit. Just you know some of the stuff going on. It's just, why can't everywhere be like that?
fuckdawind: Did you do the Millennium Falcon ride?
Chris: Yes.
fuckdawind: Did you almost cry?
Chris: We were stuck being engineers.
fuckdawind: oh yeah, that sucks.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: But did you almost cry walking in there?
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Because I, when, when I walked in and I saw the chiclet, you know, pattern on the, on the ceiling and i was like, oh my God.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yes. Yes. Just talking to you right now about it, I've got chills.
fuckdawind: That part right there when just walking in there, I was like, whoa, like yeah we were home.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. We're home.
fuckdawind: That,
Chris: And even though we were stuck being engineers, still, like you said, you know, like hit pushing the buttons and interacting and just, yeah, it was amazing.
fuckdawind: that
fuckdawind: didn't even need a I didn't even need to go on the ride, honestly.
Chris: Yeah, just let me sit there and goof around with stuff.
fuckdawind: They could have just let me sit in there. i would have been... i don't i Honestly, because we went a while ago, I barely remember the ride part, but I still remember walking in there.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: And that was amazing.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Now, have they fixed? Because when I went there, there was the Galaxy's Edge. But then like if you wanted to see Chewie and Vader, you had to go a different part of the park. Has that been fixed?
Chris: No, they were there.
fuckdawind: Oh, that's nice.
Chris: and wait Yeah, and you could see like there would be a line of people, and it's like, oh, here's that character. yeah here's that ed But they also they had stormtroopers walking around, of course.
fuckdawind: Right.
Chris: and yeah I didn't see Chewie, saw Rey, stormtroopers, ah Vader.
fuckdawind: ah maybe the chewy is still at a different spot yeah but like my wife i have a cute picture and i saw my wife and my wife you've met my wife if you know my wife she she's not like gonna hug a stranger we we went to see chewy and she hugged chewy and like you know it's like this she seems in her 40s at the time she's you know so happy to see you and
Chris: Yes.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: You take all of the all of the bullshit about Disney out of it and just like, there is something magic about that.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: I mean, just walking in and you know seeing, yeah we walk in and there's two AT-ATs above us. And yeah, just hearing the sounds and um yeah we wrote yeah, we rode every ride that was in Galaxy's Edge.
fuckdawind: Yeah, so we went, there was only the one ride.
Chris: Oh yeah, there was the Falcon, the Rise of the Resistance, um Star Tours or something like that. So yeah.
Chris: Yeah, know I mean, they were all fun. I will say it was, yeah, I chuckled a little bit at the rise of the resistance because there was an animatronic Kylo Ren in one part of it that was a little like Chuck E. Cheese looking. but
fuckdawind: I'm going for that.
Chris: yeah um But I mean, the rest of it, like, I mean, walking into that, like, I think we're both on the same page of, you know, the 789 are not the greatest direction Disney ever went.
Chris: But walking into the one ride, when you get like, Just about in, I think it's Rise of the, yeah, Rise the Resistance. BB-8 is there, he rolls in and, you know, but but but bu and he's talking to Poe, I think, or no, Finn, like, on a communicator.
Chris: Well, all of a sudden, this giant holo table pops up and it's a hologram array talking to you. But it it was, it was literally like seeing, you know, being in the movie.
Chris: Like, I was like, that that's a real hologram. That's, that's, that's, that's that. yeah um yeah yeah
fuckdawind: the uh the hondo part hondo on an act that's pretty cool did you go to the kind of met kind of mech cantina
Chris: no i mean we walked around it but we didn't like eat there yeah yeah
fuckdawind: Yeah, good. it wast It was fine. that part That part was fine. It was cool inside. um But, yeah. Galaxy's Edge was... it's ah it's I'm not a person...
fuckdawind: and like Again, I'm not a Harry Potter person, so i know but I know my you know people that are and they love the Harry Potter world for the same reason.
Chris: hu yeah
fuckdawind: and it's like It just hits you somewhere deep in you to...
Chris: yeah yeah yeah yeah so we were uh it was it was before lunchtime i think um
fuckdawind: to go in there. So screw all this. Talk about the part I want to hear because I didn't do it, but you did.
Chris: Well, one of the rides we were one of the things we did outside of that was we went to the Indiana Jones show.
fuckdawind: pepperpa
Chris: but But now I just say so we went, you know, I had talked about i was like, she was like, is there anything you know, you got to do you know want to do you got to do? was like, I mean, I'd like to check out the lightsaber stuff. She's like, Okay, yeah, sure. And we go by there and like talking to the person like, yeah, ah you can wait or you can schedule it in the app. You know, we take people like every 25 minutes or something in groups and all are like okay so like yeah so we go off and know we're sitting there at lunch you know eating and you know she's like okay uh we've got an appointment at 225 for you to build a lightsaber was like yeah just a little kid in me just said oh my god so you get there and they give you a card you check in and they're okay you here's the card here are the four
Chris: styles of lightsabers you can build and it's like
Chris: honor and justice or no honor i can't remember like the first one looks very much like the luke skywalker the obi-wan those style lightsabers the next one was power and control very much dark side influenced it looked like ah The third one was nature and together or something very like, you know, look like horn and, you very wood, that kind of style. And then the last one was protection and justice.
Chris: And it was like very, it looked old Republic style, in my opinion.
fuckdawind: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Chris: so you look through and it's like, and each of you've got like, you it says you, you have all these combinations and this, all right. So i'm looking, I'm like, I said, you know what? I'm going to go with the the old Republic style.
Chris: so i hand it and they're like oh okay here's your you know card that says you're in this group i had a green one and they're like and here's your pin put this pin on and i put my pin on and i look everybody has a different pin because the pin is for what style you're gonna make i was like okay and it's they're like okay getting this little you know area we'll call you in in a minute you know and they're like you should and they had know like examples of some of the stuff you'd look at im like okay They call us back in, or before they call us in there was, you know, the stormtroopers walking around the park and everything. And it, some, a lot of people probably think it's hokey or whatever, but you know, the people working there, there's like, look, if they ask you anything, we're, we're just junk dealers. We have nothing else to do. You know, this is just playing into the whole thing. And so they bring, know, they show you little card and they're like, all right, you know, hold it in front of you, bring you
Chris: And they bring you into this like oval room. That's like, in the rocks and all that. And i're like, okay, you know, line up. Everybody has a workstation.
Chris: And you stand there and the door's shut. And this guy comes like stumbling in these guys, goggles on, he pops them off. I swear to you, he is Carrie forestall's brother. My wife pointed it out.
fuckdawind: Right.
Chris: He seriously like dead ringer. was like, oh my God, Carrie, you're teaching me how to do this, but okay, whatever. And he, you he talks about, you know, As part of you know the rebellion, where you know we're scavengers and we're finding these pieces all over the galaxy and we bring them back. And if the Empire you know looks, they they just see a bunch of junk, but we know you know the truth and this and that. And he starts talking about the lore of everything. And it's just very, don't know, it's got that atmosphere.
Chris: And he says, well, before we build your lightsaber, you have to, you have to find your kyber crystal, hold your hand out and think, what do you want to embody? And he goes through head. It was blue, green, purple, or red.
Chris: And like the music changes in the background based on any, I was like, oh, okay. He's going to say, you know, like the generic ones. um And yeah, he's like blue, you know, like Obi-Wan Klo Koon or yeah, they like or. um Kane and Jarrus.
Chris: I'm like, oh, shit, they're like going to go through like everybody. And they're like, yeah, talk about purple, you know, Mace Windu and perhaps a few others. And I was like, this is so freaking cool.
Chris: So go around, you pick your kyber crystal and you put it to the side and then they give you a tray of materials. And it's like, yes.
fuckdawind: I have a question. have a guess.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: You went blue.
Chris: oh yeah yeah as soon as they were talking about my wife like she's like you're going blue um they bring this tray out set it in front of you and there's like three different emitters three to yeah three of like every piece the the end cap the mid part everything and then they they have the actual guts of it like okay put your kyber crystal in
fuckdawind: OK.
Chris: and you physically have to like pressure it in there. And as soon as you do, it clicks, it hums, and it starts to light up a little bit, just a little bit. And was like, holy shit.
Chris: So then, you know, you're picking your pieces and, you chain, you know, looking everything. These lightsabers are solid. I mean, they are metal. So you're like putting it together, you're screwing it together and all this. And the whole time the guy is,
Chris: um coming around and he's talking to each of you. Oh, you chose this. Look at the, you know, you know, I go, I could see the old Republic influence on this or this and that. And it's like, damn right. You can So you get it all done and they have you hit the actuator and it's not like a push button.
Chris: It's a slide button, like a slide toggle, or at least it is on mine.
fuckdawind: Mm-hmm.
Chris: Hit that and you hear it try to fire up. And he's like, okay, everybody's gotten to this stage. Now my yeah know assistants are going to come around. Please put your lightsaber in the holder in front of you. you set it down. And he's like, we've had some issues in the past. you know We don't want any lightsabers exploding because if you're not attuned to your crystal, then bad things can happen.
Chris: So we're going to put it in this protective tube to first fire it and all that. We're like, okay. And they come around, they set everything up. And he's like, all right, now with me, put your hand on the saber.
Chris: feel the force and activate your lightsaber. And everybody did it at the same time. And just hearing that all the way around and the glows, they said, now take it out and hold it up.
Chris: And it was just this one little kid, he was over there. He's like my young Padawan, you have done an amazing job or something like that. that If that was me, if I was that kid, I would have pissed my pants. I mean, it was just that amazing.
Chris: But yeah, we all hold up our lightsabers and then Yoda's voice comes across and the room darkens and just, yeah. You could tell just everybody in the room is just like, yeah, we just built a lightsaber.
Chris: And then they give you this sheath sling to put it in And yeah, of course you can go to like the um the regular lightsaber store that's near it to get, they have blank boxes for different kyber crystals or you can choose your own and then others and all but i was just like once i did that i was just like yeah ah yeah smile ear to ear happier than shit so yeah yeah
fuckdawind: When we went, I talked myself out. My wife was like, you should do it. And I talked myself out of doing it. So when you texted me, I was like, no, no, go do it.
Chris: yeah i yeah that's what i was like i was waffling and sarah's like you gotta do it so
fuckdawind: And when we got on the plane, I was so jealous. Because when we got on the plane to leave, everybody had a lightsaber.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah, because you went early on. See, there was only there.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: I think I was the only person on my flight with a lightsaber. But like getting on there, there was a guy right behind us, like as we're checking, you know, boarding. And he had this tube or whatever. He's like, what do you got in the sling?
Chris: i was like, a lightsaber? He's like, shut up, really? It's like, yeah. It's like, what do you have? He's like, some stupid ass work thing. don't know. What kind of lightsaber? It's like,
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah. I will have to go again.
Chris: And did you go through the shop that showed like all the other, like some of the pre-made hilts they have?
fuckdawind: Yes. Yeah, yeah, I did.
Chris: Oh my God. you Like us Cal Kestis.
fuckdawind: Oh!
Chris: I was like, look at that.
fuckdawind: This is how bad I am as a person to myself. Because my wife said, you should go build lightsaber. I was like, ah, it's too much money. I'm not doing it. I don't remember how much it was. But it's not cheap.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. It's a couple hundred.
fuckdawind: Yeah, and then she was like, all right well let's go to the lightsaber shop and i was like you know and so i'm i'm like i want buy that one that's what and and she's like go buy one and i just i didn't do it so you know now when you were talking texting me it was like yeah because i am filled with eternal regret that sitting that i'm not looking at my lightsaber sitting on the wall right now you know
Chris: Yeah. yeah Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. no You still have a chance. Yeah.
fuckdawind: I dance. Actually, we're probably going to go down there. haven't worked it out with her yet, but when everything calms down with the dog, of because they have that Universal Monsters opening up, or it might already be open.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: And she loves horror films, so we might go do that.
Chris: There you go Yeah. Yep.
fuckdawind: But that's kind of, yeah, that's kind of the deal for me.
Chris: She gets that. You get to build a lightsaber. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Like they had a holocrons for sale.
Chris: Did they have them when you were there?
fuckdawind: I don't think so.
Chris: Yeah, yeah. sir They had Jedi and Sith holocrons and like you You kind of manipulate it and do this and that. If you hold it in certain spots, it plays a message depending on what, you know, it's linked to. We're all, i was like, um that's pretty neat.
fuckdawind: Yeah, the worst part for me is if I go there again, like, we're literally just going to go to Star Wars Galaxies and nowhere else.
Chris: So.
Chris: Yeah, but I mean, Hollywood Studios, other than, I mean, the Indiana Jones ride was neat, but it's dulled down a little bit because they don't do the rolling boulder anymore.
fuckdawind: Sure, yeah.
Chris: um
fuckdawind: feel like I killed that one guy.
Chris: Did he actually kill him?
fuckdawind: Oh, I don't know. I don't know.
Chris: No. um i say I know there was like an accident or something.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Well, I don't know who it's about the Indiana Jones show, but I'm very interested in the Diana Jones show.
Chris: um
Chris: What's that?
fuckdawind: That's when you texted me saying I'm going to the Diana Jones show.
Chris: Oh.
fuckdawind: I'm like, what the hell is the Diana Jones show? Sorry.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was... Right around the time I had found out I was going to build a lightsaber in two hours. So yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. I saw one kid. I mean, God bless him. I must have ah hell of a trust or something. He had two of the lightsaber sheaths on his shoulder, was carrying droid in his left hand, and was about to go back through the workshop again.
fuckdawind: Good lord.
Chris: Yeah. yeah So yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah, it's not cheap, but I'm sorry, haven't said it on the podcast, but we went to when we went the day before we went to, no, it was a different trip.
Chris: Yeah. God. Yeah.
Chris: Mm.
fuckdawind: We went to the Harry Potter world against my will.
Chris: Mm. Mm.
fuckdawind: and had to go through the stupid wand thing and that is the biggest scam in the world because they they take the crowd of people and they pick out one kid and they're like the wand's chosen you and they like walk him in there and like all right here's the wand you know this is your wand it's a two to you and like There's no way that dad's like, put that trumpk we'll buy you the $20 one.
fuckdawind: Put that one back.
Chris: yeah right yeah you're you're stuck then yeah yeah
fuckdawind: You're stuck now. You're buying this. I'm sure it's not a cheap wand. Yeah. Because you know the first thing they do is like, all right, this is your wand, dad. with The wallet.
Chris: yeah but's so it's like they're looking and they're like if they look like they have money we will select them hmm
fuckdawind: m You want to go to college? Not anymore. Mm-hmm. We sat in line for two hours for the stupid wand thing.
fuckdawind: And my 40-something-year-old brother's girlfriend was going, I can't believe they didn't pick me. And they picked some little kid. I'm like, what the?
fuckdawind: What's wrong with you? This new one sounds way better because you make an appointment. You know you're going there to do that.
Chris: Yep.
fuckdawind: You know.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Yeah, I saw other grown man men with tears in their eyes. it was just. Yeah.
fuckdawind: I said, it when I stepped on that million Falcon ride, I had tears in my eyes.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: So, he did an amazing job there.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you you seriously feel like you're in it. Yeah. I got my picture with an X-Wing. I got my picture in front of the Millennium Falcon with my lightsaber.
fuckdawind: The worst part is, this is the worst part about it for you and I, is that no matter what they do, we will still support the Star Wars franchise forever.
Chris: Oh, yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Right? Like, no matter what dog crap movie comes out next, we'll watch it.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Because that that's how much it means to our generation and seemingly with other generations because it's that popular.
Chris: yeah yeah
Chris: yeah yeah yeah it yeah oh side tangent to your people being inconsiderate forgot about this on the way were in think was at the airport in florida i think anyway there was a line for the mentoring i guess whatever yeah there three
fuckdawind: They got us.
fuckdawind: Oh, boy.
fuckdawind: What an asshole.
Chris: regular size urinals and one lower to the ground, you know, for a kid.
Chris: Three of them open up the little one and two regular ones. This guy and his son start to walk. This middle-aged guy cuts them off, shoves them out of the way and goes to piss in the little, in the kid urinal.
fuckdawind: um ass
Chris: The kid looks up at dad it's like, well, he's like, we'll figure it out, bud. I wanted to kick that guy in his ass. So he pissed all over himself so badly.
fuckdawind: So was this is his bell end hits the goddamn porcelain.
Chris: Yeah. Oh my God.
fuckdawind: Yeah, people are assholes.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: People are assholes.
Chris: But you know where they weren't assholes? They weren't assholes at Galaxy's Edge.
fuckdawind: Yeah. yeah
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: God bless those people because they do a hell of a job.
Chris: Yeah. Yes. Yep. Yeah. And it was 92 the day we went.
fuckdawind: Yeah. and And by the way, that's when they're like, this is the cool season.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: you go
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah, God bless the guy dressed... Well, the guy dressed as Vader was in the shade, so at least there was that for him.
fuckdawind: Sure.
Chris: So...
fuckdawind: Still, I'm sure it's not.
Chris: No.
fuckdawind: Sure, that's a great snow coming of that suit every day.
Chris: No. Oh, gosh. Yeah, you gotta have a different suit every day.
fuckdawind: I'm sure.
Chris: Hmm.
fuckdawind: I'm sure.
Chris: So... but yeah Yeah, I can't wait to hear your lightsaber building.
fuckdawind: Well, I'm glad.
fuckdawind: Well, mine's going a while.
Chris: Ah.
fuckdawind: I'm glad you had that adventure, bud, because I'm glad that i my tax dollars paid for you to go.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: They did not. God. It's no different than if I, my wife and I flew down there for the weekend.
Chris: Jackass.
fuckdawind: Yeah. You know, there's a reason conferences are where they are.
Chris: Oh, yeah, they're smart.
fuckdawind: They're smart.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: Yeah. There's a reason company or those conference centers are set up where they are.
Chris: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, I mean, some of them are like, yeah, we we encourage you to bring your family with you.
fuckdawind: I mean,
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I mean, I tried to get the Department Assembly to Budapest, but they wouldn't do it.
Chris: Put it in again. Let's see what happens.
fuckdawind: Well, I don't... It's a seven-year... It's a weird... It's a seven-year conference. They do this conference every seven years, and it's in a different location.
Chris: What?
fuckdawind: And the last time it was in Budapest.
Chris: That sounds like a cult.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah. Hazmat cult. Hmm.
fuckdawind: I just wanted to go to Budapest.
Chris: Yeah. Is it Budapest or Budapest?
fuckdawind: Ooh, I don't know.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I know it's two cities.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I know that part. Well, it's technically...
Chris: Yeah? Oh, is it it separated by a river?
fuckdawind: Yeah, and it's secondlylys technically it's Buddha and Pest.
Chris: and pest. Yeah, yeah.
fuckdawind: Well, think we've concluded the pod.
Chris: Yeah. Yeah.
Chris: We have.
fuckdawind: um um i knew for a fact it was going to be a blue...
Chris: Hope.
fuckdawind: Before you even talked about it, I knew it was going blue Old Republic lightsaber.
Chris: Yeah.
Chris: Yeah.
fuckdawind: I've seen it. It's gorgeous.
Chris: yeah Yeah. yeah I'll send you a closer picture.
fuckdawind: Yeah, please do.
Chris: Or I'll bring it to work with me on Monday.
fuckdawind: I'm pretty dork.
Chris: I might.
fuckdawind: Yeah.
Chris: God. Somebody back talks me. Bam. Oh, God.
fuckdawind: Do you really want to have this meeting with me?
Chris: Exactly. Yeah.
fuckdawind: okay
Chris: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
fuckdawind: Well, buddy, I'm going go enjoy the windy day.
Chris: Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, go enjoy this March weather. Take care, and we'll see you next time, folks.
