Transcript
Speaker: Yeah, I don't even look at my neighbors when I walk.
Speaker: So do you know your neighbors or you don't know who they are?
Speaker: I never met them.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just look straight even if I kind of see them coming off.
Speaker: You walk faster.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hi everyone.
Speaker: Thank you for tuning into the Pengu Spective.
Speaker: We are your hosts, Michael.
Speaker: Eric.
Speaker: This is episode 13.
Speaker: Let's get started.
Speaker: Yeah, let's talk about the chainsaw man first.
Speaker: Oh yeah?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, so the thing is, I actually watched like, well, I wanted to actually finish it yesterday.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But I watched till episode 10.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I thought you were going to do three.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: It turns out it gets way better later.
Speaker: I would say like when it really started to get going was the con.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: I just thought that was a really cool imagery.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Same thing kind of with around episode eight when like the two like the really strong antagonists show up.
Speaker: Which one?
Speaker: You know the like the other guy that looked like Chainsaw Man but he had the swords and then the lady who summons like Orochimaru.
Speaker: But it had these like really like cinematic shots.
Speaker: Like you know what gets me is like super fast and then the audio cuts out and you just kind of get this like slow motion.
Speaker: I thought those were like really cool art.
Speaker: I like that they keep talking about how the devil hunters don't survive for a long time, but I was like, well, I've never seen it.
Speaker: It's like this Hitchcockian rule of if you're going to introduce the gun, you have to fire it at some point, right?
Speaker: And the whole massacre, I thought it really kind of paid off very well for me, at least.
Speaker: There are some cheeky moments.
Speaker: So the gun devils from America,
Speaker: Like, did you catch that?
Speaker: I was like, interesting.
Speaker: And well, anything that stood out to you at this point?
Speaker: For the, for episode 10?
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: Just, yeah, just don't spoil past episode 10.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: I mean, you'll find out.
Speaker: I think it's more fun that way.
Speaker: What was the impetus that made you want to go up to 10?
Speaker: Because I don't think even probably if you watched up to three, it would have caught your attention to get you to 10.
Speaker: I guess I wanted to talk more.
Speaker: So I was like, okay, let me actually get my analytical goggles on.
Speaker: You know what it is?
Speaker: There's a podcast that I watch.
Speaker: It's called Blocks.
Speaker: And the main kind of shtick is that he invites guests to talk about their traumas and learnings over time.
Speaker: But really more like kind of like a therapy setting.
Speaker: And there was a comment in one of the recent episodes.
Speaker: I've been enjoying the guests a lot, but there was a comment that said, do you think, you know, the guests in this podcast are somewhat pressured to be over analytical about their parental upbringings and stuff?
Speaker: Which is to say, like, if you know that you're going to kind of like this introspective podcast, are you analyzing things that perhaps doesn't need to be analyzed or something like that?
Speaker: So I was trying to watch more with, you know, like how I watch Singles Inferno just for fun with my mom, as opposed to like, what can I extract from this for the podcast?
Speaker: It's a little bit of a different attitude.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But I think at some point I kind of let go because it's like, I mean, just anime is going to do its anime.
Speaker: Like initially, like the whole joke about, you know, touching the opai, you know, it was like, it just kind of made me roll my eyes, you know.
Speaker: Do you know the, do you know Trash Taste, the YouTube channel?
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: It's like this, do you know Giga?
Speaker: He's like a famous anime YouTuber.
Speaker: So he and these other people like Anime Man, they have this podcast and, you know, they're kind of in their 30s now, right?
Speaker: And they had an episode titled Why We Don't Watch Anime Anymore.
Speaker: Even though they're like poster boys for anime YouTube community.
Speaker: And they were just talking about how like some of the tropes get so obvious in certain anime and some of the things like kind of the obsession with the oppai and...
Speaker: You know, those like, you know, those panty shots, you know, you know, those things that we kind of like, kind of like normalize, maybe because we've been exposed to it early on.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And they were kind of just getting kind of sick of that.
Speaker: So that was kind of my initial thing.
Speaker: Because I like, I like one season up, but like they dragged that joke like for way too long.
Speaker: Well, I'm glad that, like, they actually did get to touch them, you know, so that we can move on from this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it's like, I mean, I guess, like, you know, when you watch anime, there are certain tropes that you just kind of have to buy into.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I guess I kind of forgot about it because it's been a long time since I actually watched anime.
Speaker: Yeah, it's been definitely almost a year, actually.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think I like that one, though, because it seemed pretty random.
Speaker: I feel like not a lot of anime do it like that as much, you know?
Speaker: Like, it didn't have to be, like, a real grand reason for, like, his motivation.
Speaker: I thought it was, like, a fun little random... Yeah, yeah, I guess, yeah, like I said, it's, like, I guess this is something you have to buy into.
Speaker: Like, if you say you're gonna enjoy K-pop, like,
Speaker: Maybe the aegyo is like very cringy for you at first, but that's kind of like what makes it K-pop.
Speaker: You know, it's the talk shows that make it K-pop.
Speaker: It's the training that make it K-pop.
Speaker: So I guess like I haven't been exposed to this in a while.
Speaker: So it took me a little bit of time, but I just kind of let that go.
Speaker: You know what anime reminded me of?
Speaker: When I was watching Gigguk's analysis video, he brought up Jujutsu Kaisen.
Speaker: I've never watched it, but apparently it does.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: A little bit, yeah.
Speaker: It reminded me a little bit of the great teacher Onizuka for some reason.
Speaker: But it really reminded me of a Tokyo Ghoul.
Speaker: Did it not for you?
Speaker: I guess so.
Speaker: I think they have pretty similar vibes.
Speaker: I don't think it reminded me of the great teacher Onizuka.
Speaker: Maybe it was like some certain pictures or things like that.
Speaker: Maybe it was just the oppai, dude.
Speaker: Maybe it was there.
Speaker: But the fact that there's the protagonist, it's kind of like the gray line between the devil and the human and how there's this organization and it's very gray area as opposed to their morality.
Speaker: It reminds me of that the most.
Speaker: I want you to clarify something for me here because they bring up the mechanics of the devil's strength.
Speaker: So apparently people's fear of something affects his strength.
Speaker: And they bring up the example of how a coffee devil is not very interesting, but...
Speaker: the gun devil is very dangerous and how they try to like promote gun control to weaken it.
Speaker: Like, what's this about?
Speaker: Like, I wasn't completely sure.
Speaker: Like the people's fear of it actually affects its strength.
Speaker: Is that what's going on?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, you went farther, right?
Speaker: yeah i mean that's pretty much it oh yeah and i think it's like yeah i don't know how to say it without spoiling it okay okay all right so tell me this so like would my mindset be able to impact the devil as in like yeah oh i don't i don't fear this anymore versus yeah yeah okay
Speaker: I mean, but it's like if you're only one person, it wouldn't do too much.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: I think that without trying to spoil it, it's not as much about that.
Speaker: It's just that there are certain things that can happen and then people will completely forget about it.
Speaker: And then the devil kind of disappears almost.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I think I get it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So your devil would be like the cliff devil.
Speaker: The commitment devil.
Speaker: I do love the opening song, though.
Speaker: I think it's so hype.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The animation, the opening.
Speaker: I also noticed that they do different ending animations.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, that's neat.
Speaker: They're really good.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm definitely enjoying it.
Speaker: Did they say anything about season two yet?
Speaker: Or is this going to take forever?
Speaker: It's probably going to take a while.
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: But the manga is out.
Speaker: The whole first arc of the story is ended.
Speaker: And right now, the second arc has kind of just begun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you'll get resolution of the first big conflict.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: I was thinking about this yesterday because I think my point still stands that I think they could have had stronger three episodes in the beginning.
Speaker: But I was like, well, I'm guessing they were banking on the majority of the audience being people who already loved the manga.
Speaker: So they didn't really need to sell them on the show, right?
Speaker: Because they were already on board with the story.
Speaker: So I didn't take that into account.
Speaker: But, you know, even someone like Giga, he covers like the seasonal anime shows that his favorites, like every, what, two, three months, right?
Speaker: And every month he talks about like, dude, they're just making more and more anime every year.
Speaker: Like it used to be like 12 anime and now it's like 50 something shows.
Speaker: I'm not sure how much you're into it, but like there's a lot of shows now.
Speaker: And he kind of had a similar thing where like, dude, like, you know, if the first couple episodes don't catch me, like I just can't, I don't have the time to put into it.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Obviously, like this is such a famous hype show that like people are going to give the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker: But, you know.
Speaker: For me, when I watch anime, it's like I've already seen the manga.
Speaker: And it's like because I read a lot of it.
Speaker: So it's usually the ones that I'm like, oh, this is going to be really good.
Speaker: And when those get adapted, then I'm like, OK, I'm going to check those out.
Speaker: I don't really go stream on and go look for like, oh, what's the next anime I should watch?
Speaker: On average, would you say they all live up to the manga or you're like, most of the show, like I'd rather read the manga or something like that?
Speaker: I think so.
Speaker: I think most of the ones that I end up wanting to watch are like the ones that were really, really good.
Speaker: So then they probably put in the budget to make the anime pretty good.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: So there's a filtering process.
Speaker: I get it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: But yeah, no, I'm really enjoying it.
Speaker: I'll probably finish the first season.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: And then go from there.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So next topic, I have a question.
Speaker: So I remember a year or two ago when I came to see you in Virginia, you showed me this Venn diagram that kind of showed all the pieces that you need to kind of achieve happiness.
Speaker: And I can't remember anymore.
Speaker: So I wanted to see if you can remind me.
Speaker: But I think it was something like career, community and like creativity or something like that.
Speaker: Do you remember?
Speaker: It's a table called Actual Recipe for Human Happiness, right?
Speaker: And I'll go through the list.
Speaker: So it's friendship, it's freedom, it's health, meaningful work, privacy, philosophy of life, and community.
Speaker: I think this reminds me a lot of the Ikigai Circle that I see from Japan.
Speaker: I think it's just a little bit tweaked for the modern.
Speaker: So something like privacy, I think it's kind of like a modern twist on it.
Speaker: But I would say the gist of them, both of them are pretty similar.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I originally thought that you came up with this because yesterday I was trying to search it up and I got a lot of the Ikigai stuff, but I couldn't find the ones that you were talking about.
Speaker: Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker: Let me, yeah.
Speaker: It's, the guy's called Mr. Money Mustache.
Speaker: He kind of came out to the scene because he's a very frugal person and talks about investing and so forth.
Speaker: But his persona, I find him really approachable.
Speaker: He speaks very well.
Speaker: I think he has a TED Talk or something like that.
Speaker: that I recommend everyone to watch.
Speaker: It's a very easy listen, but he always has the big picture in mind, which is like aligns with my beliefs that money is just a means to an end.
Speaker: And the actual ends that matter are the recipe for human happiness as he goes through.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: So I remember that, you know, when you told me about this, you seem that you're kind of uneasy or unhappy because something was lacking.
Speaker: And maybe I'm wrong, but I think you said it was mostly community.
Speaker: I think you said most of the things you feel like.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: And I feel like it was because you were living on your own in Virginia for the first time and you didn't really know anybody.
Speaker: So I kind of wanted to follow up and see how you feel these days.
Speaker: And do you think anything has changed?
Speaker: Yeah, I do think it's definitely better.
Speaker: So, you know, when you talk to a lot of solo practitioners, I think loneliness is actually a big factor that, you know, when you're just dealing with the stress on your own.
Speaker: And I know there's always going to be a team, right, of front desk and assistants and hygienists, but it's just they can't relate the same way.
Speaker: Just like you're a business owner.
Speaker: So that can be very tough and
Speaker: As far as my, you know, when I was working corporate, I did have like a partner dentist, but we were so damn busy that like, it's not like we could like sit down in their office and even chat for a little bit.
Speaker: Or at least I didn't feel like I had the mental capacity to do that.
Speaker: Like I was always like on the go there.
Speaker: And then the two jobs that I had since I moved here, it was...
Speaker: It was a little bit better, but still, it's definitely like a boss-employee relationship and not much going on there.
Speaker: The reason why I say it has gotten better is that right now I work at kind of like a community clinic and both of my colleagues, I get along with them very well.
Speaker: And I think I can confidently say that they get along well with me as well.
Speaker: So that's been a big help in making me feel like part of like a team rather than like kind of doing this on my own there.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So kind of you found community with like your colleagues at work.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And, uh, I, you know, I told, I told you about, you know, um, people that I met online or other, like, um, you know, when I went to new dentist meetings, there's one person that I do keep in contact with on their fairly regular basis.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Do you think, uh, you know, Charles being there now also helps a little bit?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, so I guess like it helps a little bit, but I would say if I had to categorize it, all of those are more kind of friendship circle rather than the community.
Speaker: I guess what I meant by community was like in our subreddit for Northern Virginia, there's like a cleanup crew that meets in the different cities of Northern Virginia.
Speaker: And you get together and like, you know, you just pick up trash around the area and socialize and eat or like,
Speaker: Getting to know my neighbors or something like that.
Speaker: You know, that used to be more common.
Speaker: I don't know if you felt that way.
Speaker: I remember when I was really young, we knew who lived next to us, who lived above and below.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: But these days, the doorbell rings and everything.
Speaker: You know, I'm not sure how and when did this happen.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, I don't even look at my neighbors when I walk.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So do you know your neighbors or you don't know who they are?
Speaker: I never met them.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just look straight even if I kind of see them coming off.
Speaker: You walk faster.
Speaker: Do your parents know that?
Speaker: My mom, yeah, my mom will say hi.
Speaker: My dad is kind of like me.
Speaker: But yeah, it's just like, well, I would want to ask you, what do you think it would mean to like be part of like Cupertino community?
Speaker: Oh, I think we talked about this last time, but for me, like you said, you know, the people around you, right?
Speaker: A lot of our friends are probably still in the area.
Speaker: So I think there was definitely a familiarity there.
Speaker: I feel like even just being familiar with the environment because we've lived here for so long.
Speaker: You know, when I drive out and I'm like, oh, I'm going to go to...
Speaker: This restaurant or this store, it's like, I know where it's at.
Speaker: It feels really familiar when you're driving through the streets.
Speaker: I don't need any Google Maps when I'm driving in the community.
Speaker: I definitely felt it when I went to Kong Tofu, the restaurant.
Speaker: And I went there and we've been going there for years, right?
Speaker: But there was a while where we didn't go very often.
Speaker: And nowadays, every so often we'll go.
Speaker: And when I go, I see the owner saying,
Speaker: And he's this middle-aged guy or probably older now, but he's still the same owner.
Speaker: And every time I go, I see him.
Speaker: It's like, wow, it's like a familiar.
Speaker: It's like a really nice sight to see.
Speaker: Like he's still working here and he's like a really nice guy.
Speaker: And, you know, he obviously doesn't remember us, but it's nice to see him, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, I had a moment like that.
Speaker: There's this fall place that's like five minute drive from us that we go like all the time.
Speaker: I went there by myself like on a Saturday and I just had the urge to just ask the dude like there's this dude who always like, you know, greets the customers.
Speaker: And I just asked him for like for his name.
Speaker: Yeah, his name is Lee.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, his first name.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then we were just talking.
Speaker: I was like, oh, yeah.
Speaker: So he clearly knows that, like, we like to go here and I know him.
Speaker: I'm not saying that's a community, but it was like it's the kind of feeling that gave me like, oh, what would it feel like to have a community?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then, like, he asked me what I do.
Speaker: And then I felt some pressure to give more tip.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're like, oh, no, no, I'm a hygienist.
Speaker: I'm a assistant.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, it's the kind of feeling that I think I would enjoy.
Speaker: And I think you don't, it doesn't necessarily have to be like around your apartment.
Speaker: Like you can have a community of like, if you're into basketball, right?
Speaker: Or CrossFit or, you know, I imagine the future, like I keep talking about psychedelics.
Speaker: So maybe people who are into that kind of realm, just like who really value medicinal therapy or medicine.
Speaker: I mean, I guess the dentist is a community as well, obviously.
Speaker: But yeah, just like this group that I can feel like, oh, I belong to, that I feel joyous in contributing my time.
Speaker: Because like, it's easy for me to feel like, well, like if other people aren't putting the same mark, then I feel like I'm wasting my time and effort.
Speaker: But well, you know, you got to start somewhere, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I remember you had a guy that you also like talked to when you brought me to that sushi place last time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Mike, he's no longer there anymore, unfortunately.
Speaker: But I know the other waitress, Lisa.
Speaker: Yeah, she gave us like, I remember she gave us like, just like, what do you call that?
Speaker: Like a service?
Speaker: Like those mochi ice creams or something.
Speaker: Because it's like somebody's birthday or something a while ago.
Speaker: Yeah, it's just like, it's the feeling that I crave that I think is missing that I think would give me more satisfaction in my life.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I remember when I was living in SF, there was that, you know, that donut place that I always pass by when we come from my school to my apartment?
Speaker: I feel like talking to restaurant owners that you like or restaurant workers is definitely a very easy way to kind of build a relationship if you go there often.
Speaker: And I thought it was nice because the donut guy, we started really talking because I noticed him when Pokemon Go first came out.
Speaker: He would always go.
Speaker: So then, you know, he became part of like the Pokemon Go community.
Speaker: So whenever I go buy a donut, I'd be like, did you catch anything cool, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker: No, that's cool.
Speaker: Yeah, I had a barber that I used to go when I was in SF.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: We would connect over like dental school because her daughter was trying to get into UCSF or something.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: And it's almost selfish, right?
Speaker: Like I just like that feeling when like, oh, you just get to connect with people who we kind of took the personality out of these things, right?
Speaker: systemizing an industry can take the personality out of things and to kind of get back to it i think it's a great feeling yeah okay um and then i guess my last one and this isn't completely related but it was something that i was thinking about since i thought about the previous question and i think i was just trying to compare the level of kind of discomfort or serious seriousness i felt when i was talking to you at that time
Speaker: Maybe it wasn't that extreme, but when you told me that, I took it pretty seriously.
Speaker: And I think for me, rather than feeling kind of a missing communal connection, I do sometimes get this unsettling emptiness when I don't have a very clear goal or clear end in sight.
Speaker: So I think when I first started working,
Speaker: I felt that kind of anxiousness or emptiness because I feel like there wasn't an angle, right?
Speaker: You just keep working until we're done.
Speaker: So like, for example, in college, you know, you look forward to college finishing, you're going to start dental school.
Speaker: And then when dental school started, we look forward to dental school ending and you start residency.
Speaker: And when I was in residency, I was like, oh yeah, I'm going to start working and making money.
Speaker: And, you know, that's like really exciting.
Speaker: But then that year when I started working, I
Speaker: I was like, oh, there's no more Ngoa.
Speaker: I'm just going to be working forever.
Speaker: And I think it made me kind of restless knowing that every day will be kind of the same.
Speaker: But now that I got into Endo, I haven't thought about it as much because there's kind of the next stage to clear again.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: I'm trying to not see it like that, right?
Speaker: Like hopefully after that, I think even with working, there's always things that you can kind of change, right?
Speaker: Like whether you want to be an associate or owner and or even like if I wanted to do teaching in academia, there's always something new to try, right?
Speaker: And it doesn't even have to be dentistry.
Speaker: But I often get this like unsettling feeling when I feel like there's no end.
Speaker: Well, let me get back to the recipe chart.
Speaker: Like when you look at that, where do you feel like it may be lacking or do you feel like you have a good grasp on all of them?
Speaker: Well, I think I'll have to see that chart, you know, because I couldn't find it.
Speaker: Okay, okay.
Speaker: I can tell you.
Speaker: Okay, so friendship, freedom, health, meaningful work, privacy, philosophy of life and community.
Speaker: i think it's freedom because i feel like financial freedom yeah i don't have that freedom where like you know if you're like hey i don't want to work today or like i want to do something yeah i'd definitely be thinking about um also like oh i don't want to work with this person i want to work with that person i think that's a big one yeah it's like you feel like you're kind of almost like trapped like you have to be there you know doing something
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker: Definitely.
Speaker: I guess that's what I'll be working on.
Speaker: Freedom.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I don't I mean, I feel like from outside, you have plenty of external things to look for.
Speaker: Like, you know, you know, your relationship definitely has next levels that you can get to.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: All right, next topic.
Speaker: So we talked about this yesterday, but I wanted to approach the discussion of free will in a different way.
Speaker: So I'll start with a question.
Speaker: Have you ever felt recently that like you have a feeling, right?
Speaker: This feeling manifests inside you and you felt like, oh, this is an invalid feeling.
Speaker: As in like, I shouldn't feel this way, but I do.
Speaker: Like, I don't know if that's called like gaslighting yourself or anything like that.
Speaker: But like, have you ever felt an emotion where you felt like, well, I shouldn't be feeling this or like, oh, this is invalid?
Speaker: I'm sure I have.
Speaker: You know, when things like stress you out, you're like, oh, well, this isn't a big deal.
Speaker: It shouldn't stress me out.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So like, I would say one of the breakthroughs that I've had in terms of communication, like romantic relationship wise, is saying more I feel statements, right?
Speaker: And then putting more emphasis on how I feel or how they feel.
Speaker: So let me articulate that.
Speaker: So if I'm trying to have a conversation with someone,
Speaker: about maybe they did something that upset me.
Speaker: There's a difference if I say, oh, when you insulted me versus when you did something blah, blah, blah, something specific, I felt insulted.
Speaker: Like we can see the difference between those two, right?
Speaker: I feel like when you say the first thing, it's kind of like cornering a person.
Speaker: Because you're asking them to accept the premise itself, which is that you insulted me.
Speaker: And all they can do is what?
Speaker: Like, just deny that?
Speaker: As opposed to if I say, like, when you did X and Y, I think there's less wiggle room for either of us to, like, deny that.
Speaker: You know, it's like if a particular action was done, that was done.
Speaker: Irregardless of, like, intent or anything like that.
Speaker: Like, I think we can both agree that this action was done.
Speaker: Most likely.
Speaker: Rather than, like...
Speaker: this particular action with a particular intent was done.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: So when you did something, it made me feel, you know, insulted or embarrassed or something like that.
Speaker: And part of the awakening for me when I heard about this way of communication is that you're just supposed to have a lot of emphasis on your feelings and to recognize that your feelings are never invalid.
Speaker: So, yeah, I don't like that I may feel jealous about what this happened or I don't like that I feel insulted or like, you know, I'm sure there are times where I felt insulted that I felt like, well, I mean, this is petty.
Speaker: Maybe this person didn't mean it.
Speaker: But at the end of the day, what helped me mature personally is to just accept that, no, no, no, this is what you're feeling.
Speaker: Like, be honest about what you feel.
Speaker: You feel insulted or you feel embarrassed.
Speaker: And to not accuse that person to do that with intent, but just let them know that when you did something, it just made me feel this way.
Speaker: I think you're able to have a conversation that doesn't kind of heighten up the anxiety on both parties that way.
Speaker: You see what I mean?
Speaker: So over the years, I tell people that like, hey, if you felt a certain way, like that's never invalid.
Speaker: And that's like, this is how you feel.
Speaker: So like I've gotten this identity that like, okay, how I feel is true.
Speaker: And I just thought that was like maybe perhaps a helpful thing to consider.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: But free will has been one of those things where like I strongly feel this.
Speaker: but I've learned to purposely deny.
Speaker: And I don't know what that says about me.
Speaker: And like, I don't know what that says about this idea.
Speaker: One of the arguments actually for free will is that if you value your subjective feelings and experience so much, it has to be real.
Speaker: Because you feel it in your bones.
Speaker: And last time I didn't really define what it means.
Speaker: So I want to be very clear about the definition.
Speaker: It is simply the ability to have acted otherwise.
Speaker: Like, would you agree with that definition or like, did you think it was something else?
Speaker: Free will, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's pretty good.
Speaker: Yeah, it's like, you know, if I could return the clock back 10 minutes before you picked up this mug or before you say something or before you chose to go here as opposed to here, could you have acted otherwise?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: If you could, I think you do have free will.
Speaker: And if you can't, if you couldn't, you don't.
Speaker: And I made this mistake last time, but I feel like when I talk about this as like, oh, this is my PowerPoint and this is my presentation.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It just never comes off well.
Speaker: And I think it's cause like, I just have this innate insecurity about, well, like there are other people who did this like way better than me and I'm just rehashing inferior version.
Speaker: So instead of explaining, I'm just going to recommend our listeners to check out this YouTuber, Cosmic Skeptic, Alex O'Connor, and the Rationality Rules about their free will videos because I think they do a very good job breaking it down.
Speaker: And I do want to say that my journey from assuming free will in my life to now...
Speaker: being able to kind of reject it confidently has been a 10-year journey from classes and reading scientific papers about it to anecdotes to source material books to podcasts.
Speaker: And finding what convinces me has been an interesting journey because I felt like
Speaker: You build this kind of tower of reasoning, but there are always these holes.
Speaker: And sometimes it only takes like this particular phrase or particular way that someone says something or particular sentence in the book that kind of fills that and kind of fills the logical gap for you.
Speaker: So that journey has been very interesting for me.
Speaker: So like the cosmic skeptic, he's also a big proponent of veganism as a philosophy.
Speaker: And when you see his videos, it's definitely geared towards like logical deductions and philosophical and moral principle reasoning as to why veganism should be adopted.
Speaker: But in his videos, he adds these clips of factory farms, slaughterhouses and stuff like that.
Speaker: And when he was asked about, well, if you're a philosophy channel, why feel the need to include those kinds of images?
Speaker: Because sometimes it may seem pandering to certain audience.
Speaker: And he says, well, it's because what may convince me is not necessarily what convinces somebody else.
Speaker: And
Speaker: I mean, I guess it's obvious, but like I thought it was very smart of him to include those because like not everyone is convinced by the same things.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Some many people who convert to veganism philosophy may have nothing to do with it.
Speaker: Maybe they just saw the, you know, I'm sure you've seen some of the like slaughterhouses pictures and videos and things like that.
Speaker: It can it can be very horrific.
Speaker: So as someone, you know, who has not converted to veganism, I have certainly like been convinced that, oh, that that is the way to go.
Speaker: And that probably is going to be the future.
Speaker: Again, it's just the idea of like exploring different avenues of the same topic to see like what can move you.
Speaker: I think it's an interesting journey in general.
Speaker: So I want everyone to kind of go through their own journey because of what I said, but I'm just going to share like two things that really helped me get convinced.
Speaker: One is that the reason you purposely act or say or behave or choose one over the other, the reason you purposely act is because you want to.
Speaker: And then you recognize that you cannot choose your wants.
Speaker: The philosophical way of saying it is a man does what he wills, but he cannot will what he wills.
Speaker: So, free will is the ability, like I said before, to have acted otherwise.
Speaker: But I think the real convincing part for me is to reinterpret that sentence to say free will is the ability then to have wanted otherwise.
Speaker: And to me, I have been convinced at this point that that is an illusion.
Speaker: So again, as far as what does it change and not change for you, I just want everyone to kind of go through their individual journeys about that.
Speaker: But I can say that it, you know, for me, definitely did not lead to just extra laziness or nihilism.
Speaker: For me, in general, it's been more freeing.
Speaker: And the way I think about it is it's something that is definitely not natural for me.
Speaker: Like, if you talk to me, I'm going to talk like someone who believes in free will.
Speaker: Like, I'm not going to be like, oh, like, look at all tragedies or all things that I should be grateful for and just be dismissive about it.
Speaker: That, oh, this is the only way it could have happened.
Speaker: But it's kind of like, I have this suspicion that it's kind of like your lizard brain versus the prefrontal cortex.
Speaker: Like, you always have this lizard brain that wants to do something, but...
Speaker: You know, you end up doing different things because of, you know, your civilized brain.
Speaker: And I feel like it's kind of like that kind of ladder that you have to bounce between and back.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think the future of determinism as a philosophy is,
Speaker: kind of like veganism or evolution is kind of exciting to me because I think it'll have a big impact on justice system and criminality, but also like bigger concepts like religion and stuff like that.
Speaker: And I think it can be a potential path to a quote unquote higher being.
Speaker: So that's really what I want to say about that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Have you thought about what you think determines the things we do then?
Speaker: Like, do you believe there's like a higher entity or like we have a simulation that's programmed for us or?
Speaker: Exactly, so if you believe in free will, you still kind of have to believe in the causal change of the things in the universe.
Speaker: But what you're saying is that there are this agent that makes a free choice to do what you're going to do to your actions.
Speaker: And some people just refer to that as consciousness, which we still don't really understand.
Speaker: And in a more kind of religious context, some people refer to that as the soul.
Speaker: So you could invoke those kind of ideas as to see like, oh, this is what compels me to do certain things.
Speaker: Yeah, I just, I guess like unless we understand consciousness, I don't think we'll get to the bottom of this answer.
Speaker: What I can say with comfort is to say that, yeah, I can't choose what I decide to want.
Speaker: Like that seems pretty clear to me.
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: I mean, I think if you just kind of sit down and like think about it, like it makes sense, you know, like clearly I want to learn Spanish.
Speaker: And, you know, ever since winter break, I just have not had a motivation.
Speaker: And I asked myself, well, why can I will this desire?
Speaker: Why is my desire to just sit here and watch YouTube videos bigger than opening up my textbook?
Speaker: It's a mystery to me.
Speaker: And I just don't know where it wants.
Speaker: And then somehow I'll have a desire to make more money or want to learn a lot of language or do another hobby.
Speaker: And so where is this coming from?
Speaker: It is a pure mystery to me.
Speaker: And recognizing that has been very eye-opening for me.
Speaker: And I think it's helped me in various ways, which I won't go into detail into.
Speaker: Rather than me like kind of doing this presentation, I think just going through this journey is more important.
Speaker: But I do think that this will be an idea that will be more and more and more prominent over the time.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it'll be kind of like veganism and evolution.
Speaker: You know, when we were growing up, like sixth grade, have you heard of veganism?
Speaker: I have not.
Speaker: Like, I was not familiar with this at all.
Speaker: And then now, like, if I go to Metropolitan City, I feel like it's everywhere.
Speaker: Not everywhere, but like common enough, common enough.
Speaker: And I just, I'm kind of excited for the adoption of this concept
Speaker: Alright, that's all we have for today.
Speaker: You can find more fun podcast highlights and post pod clarity on our Instagram, Punkuspective.
Speaker: Peace.
