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A true story - Aliens 66
476 Plays7 months ago
In this summer special episode, while traveling and soaking up the sun, I found myself contemplating a different kind of travel—space travel. Inspired by the frequent claims made in "Ancient Aliens" that ancient myths and stories are actually describing UFOs and space rockets using the vocabulary of the time, I wanted to explore this concept further. However, I often find these interpretations to be misleading or misrepresentative of the original texts. This sparked an intriguing thought: How would an ancient person genuinely describe space travel?
Enter Lucian of Samosata, a second-century CE author who penned what some consider the first science fiction novel in history, "A True Story." In this short story, Lucian vividly describes space travel, intergalactic battles, alien beings, and even alien abductions. But rather than attempting to write a Sci-Fi epic, Lucian's work is actually a satirical critique of contemporary travel books and historical accounts. In this episode, we'll delve into Lucian's imaginative narrative and see how it gives us a unique window into ancient perceptions of space travel.
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The intro music is Lily of the woods by Sandra Marteleur, and the outro is named “Folie hatt” by Trallskruv.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Digging up Ancient Aliens'
00:00:00
Speaker
You're listening to the Archaeology Podcast Network.
00:00:17
Speaker
Welcome to Digging up Ancient Aliens, the podcast where we examine strange claims about alternative history and ancient aliens in popular media. Do the claims hold water to an archaeologist or are there better explanations out there? We are now on episode 66 and I'm Fredrik, your guide into the world of pseudo-archaeology. It's summertime and I'm out travelling at the moment, as you might hear.
Misrepresentation of Ancient Texts in Alien Theories
00:00:41
Speaker
This got me a little bit... thinking about space travel of sorts. Well, within ancient aliens we often hear these claims that the descriptions in the myth and stories and accounts are people, ancient people trying to describe UFO with the vocabulary they had access to during this time.
00:01:05
Speaker
And as I've discussed throughout this show, this is often used misrepresentations of what the authors really wanted to represent or tried to tell the people that were listening. In some cases even the text agent aliens' sites don't even contain the description they claim they do. But
Lucian of Samosata: Pioneer of Sci-Fi?
00:01:29
Speaker
this got me thinking how yeah how would an ancient person attempt to describe space travel then? Luckily for us, there is actually one ancient author who did use this. In the second century CE, Luciano Samosata wrote a short story titled
00:01:53
Speaker
a true story. Some claim that this is the first sci-fi novel in recorded history and this is because it contains space travel, battle between alien beings and intergalactic exchange and there are even descriptions of alien abductions in this and narrative in Reality, however, Lucian was most likely not trying to, you know, make a new genre of literature.
Satirical Elements in Lucian's Novel
00:02:22
Speaker
If we start to read the text and, you know, read what they actually say, telling us yeah the novel is a satirical criticism regarding travel books and the works of some historians that he claimed that he won't name, but of course he named them.
00:02:39
Speaker
I think the novel might be of some value to us actually because it is really someone from ancient time attempting to well share their idea of space travel and how intergalactic beings would behave and look like to some extent. So we will actually read this or rather We will read a bit more than a nice version of it that I've done myself if you have any complaints about that. But before we get to the story, I want to thank the amazing patrons and member supporters of the show. Your support is amazing. I'm really grateful for it. It really helps a lot.
00:03:27
Speaker
If you aren't a member or patron yet and want to know how to become one, here's the way to the end of the episode and I will tell you just how to do that. And you find the full transcript of the story on the episode page, there's not really much... sources on this one. So just sit back, relax and let's enjoy space travel from the eyes of someone living almost 2000 years ago. With these preparations done, let's dig into the episode.
00:04:11
Speaker
Just like
Value of Lucian's Story in Historical Critique
00:04:12
Speaker
athletes and wrestlers who work on their strength and agility, take care of their health, follow a regular exercise routine and take breaks to stay in top shape. i I believe scholars and students should do the same. After diving deep into serious studies, they should take a break to refresh their minds. This way, they will be better prepared for ongoing study sessions. These breaks will be even more effective, is spent on reading materials that aren't just enjoyable and provoke exciting thoughts. I think my books fit this purpose perfectly.
00:04:56
Speaker
They not only entertain with their unique subjects and engaging storytelling, but also invite readers to think critically. In my writing, I use humor to poke fun at the old poets, historians, and philosophers who have recorded some pretty, pretty outrageous and untrue stories. I haven't named them directly, but you will recognize them easily. Take Cestias, for example. He wrote about India and its costumes, but he had never seen those places or heard about them from and anyone credible. Iambolas also penned many tall tales about the oceans, which everyone knew were made up, but still found entertaining.
00:05:47
Speaker
you Many others have followed suit, writing about their travels and describing bizarre animals and fierce humans with strange lifestyles. However, the original storyteller of this genre was Homer's Ulysses. He spun incredible journals for Alkinios about controlling the winds, one-eyed men who ate raw flesh, multi-headed beasts and friends transformed by magic potions. And he convinced the gullible Phacheas it all was true. Seeing all this, I couldn't fault ordinary people for lying when even so-called philosophers did it. But I was amazed that they didn't expect to be caught despite writing such apparent lies. This inspired me to leave my mark too.
00:06:44
Speaker
I didn't want to be the only one not enjoying the liberty of lying. I created my own story since I had no actual events worth writing about. But I'm more honest about it. I openly admit I lie. Hopefully
Beginning of Lucian's Voyage
00:07:02
Speaker
this confession will excuse the rest of my work as I write about things I haven't seen, experienced or heard from others. Things that never existed and never will. So don't take any of this seriously.
00:07:19
Speaker
So with favorable winds, I set sail from the pillars of Hercules one day. I was driven by sheer curiosity, a desire for new experience, and longing to discover the ocean's boundaries and the people on distant shores. I stocked up on food and water, gathered 50 light-minded companions, and equipped ourselves with plenty of supplies. I hired an experienced pilot and ready to start the ship for the long and challenging journey ahead. We stayed on with a favorable wind for a day and a night, taking it easy as long as we could see land. But then but the following day, just yes as the sun rose, the wind picked up.
00:08:07
Speaker
The waves grew wild and the thick darkness fell over us. We couldn't even see well enough to lower the sails, so we let the ship ride the storm. For 79 days we were tossed about by this storm. On the 80th day, the sun suddenly broke through and we spotted an island not not too far off. It was full of mountains and woods and the sea around it was so much calmer. We eagerly headed for it, went ashore and collapsed on the ground, utterly, utterly exhausted from our ordeal at the sea.
00:08:46
Speaker
After
Absurd Encounters in Lucian's Journey
00:08:47
Speaker
resting for a long time we finally got up and divided into different groups. 30 stayed to guard a ship, while I took 20 others to explore the island. We hadn't gone more than 600 meters through the woods when we came upon a bronze pillars with worn Greek letters inscribed saying, Hercules and Bacchus travelled this far. Nearby we found two large carvings on a rock. One about the size of an Olympic swimming pool and another one quite a bit smaller. I guess the smaller one was Bacchus and the larger one was Hercules. After paying our respect we continued our journey. Before long we came to a river that seemed to flow rich with wine, like the best from Chios.
00:09:38
Speaker
It was wide enough in some places to carry a ship, which made me believe the inscription on the pillar even more, seeing these clear signs of Bacchus travels. We decided to follow the river upstream to find its source. When we reached the head, we found no spring, but countless. countless of enormous wine trees. From their roots flowed pure wine, creating the river. The stream was also full of fish that looked and tasted like wine. Those who ate them got drunk because, well, they were full of wine dregs. We mixed some freshwater fish with them to tone down the strong taste of the wine.
00:10:22
Speaker
We then crossed the river where it was shallow and found ourselves in a forest of incredible wines. The wines had sturdy crunks. From the hips up, they turned into women, like how Daphne is described when she transformed into a tree to escape Apollo. These wine women who had branches full of grapes sprouting from their fingers, and their hair was made of wine, tendrils, and grape clusters. When we approached, they greeted us, they shook our hands and spoke in Lydian, Indian, but mostly they spoke in Greek. They also kissed us, but whoever got kissed would immediately get drunk and lose control for a little while. They couldn't stand having their graves picked and would scream if anyone tried. Some of them wanted to be intimate with us, and two of our men accepted their offer.
00:11:18
Speaker
Afterwards, they couldn't break free and became rooted to the ground, with branches and tendrils sprouting from their fingers, ready to bear fruit. Seeing this, we fled to our ship and told the others what had happened. How our comrades was entangled with the wines. We filled containers with water and wine from the river and spent the night near the shore. We set sail again the next day, although the wind was relatively weak. A sudden whirlwind hit us around noon and after we had lost sight of the island. It spun
Moon and Sun Battle with Comical Peace
00:11:53
Speaker
the ship around and round and lifted up about 600,000 meters into the air straight up and it kept us there. We were carried aloft by a mighty wind that filled our sails and for seven days and seven nights we were blown along with this manner.
00:12:10
Speaker
On the eighth day, we spotted a large shiny island in the sky, glowing brightly. We approached and landed and found the place inhabited and well-kept. During the day we couldn't see much, but at night many other islands appeared and some larger and some smaller, all glowing like fire. Beneath us we saw other lands with cities, seas, rivers, woods and mountains, which we all figured was our own Earth.
00:12:43
Speaker
After we ventured further into the land, we were captured by the Hippogenians, who rode giant vultures in sense of horses. And these vultures had three heads, and their feathers were bigger than the most of a tall ship. The Hippogippians' job was to patrol the land and bring any stranger to the king. We were taken to the king, who guessed we were Greek based on our appearance. He asked us how we managed to travel through so much air. And we told him our story and he shared his own.
00:13:18
Speaker
He was once a man named Andominium, who had been taken from Earth while sleeping and brought to this place, where Andominium somehow became king. He told us that this land was what we see as the moon from the Earth. He assured us that we had nothing to fear and all would be well cared for. He also mentioned that if it's ongoing war with the inhabitants of the settlement, well, we we would live in great happiness with him.
00:13:50
Speaker
and We asked about his enemies and the cause of the war. He explained that Phaethion, the king of the Sun inhabitants, were waging war against them because Andominion had planned to send a colony to the Morning Star, a deserted land. Phatheon had thwarted this plan by sending Hippomermyx, who intercepted them, and the minion now intended to renew the war and send the colony again. And he invited us to join his expedition, promised us the best vulture and all the necessary armor as they set out the next day. And we agreed enthusiastically.
00:14:32
Speaker
And that evening we feasted and stayed in the king's halls. But as our scouts reported that the enemy was near, we started to prepare for battle in the morning and the minion forces numbered 100,000 plus carriers, engineers, foot soldiers and additional allies. 80,000 were hypotenians, and 20,000 rode lachanopters, giant birds with leaves instead of feathers. There were also kensrobillians, soromarchians, and reinforcements from the bear store. 30,000 philotaxians, who rode giant fleas, and 50,000 and romanians who flow through the air using large mantles like sails.
00:15:22
Speaker
Expected reinforcements from the stars over Cappadocia included 70,000 Strubalinons and 5,000 Hippogranians, but they hadn't arrived yet. And the Minions army was well equipped with helmets made from large bean hulls and breastplates from lupine shells, making them tough as horn. Their shields and swords resemble those from Greece. The Hippoginians formed the right wing and a king with his best soldiers, including us. The Lachanopters took the left wing and arranged the rest in the center. The foot soldiers, about 60,000 Myriads, were led by Nictarian, son of Edunax, and two others. Giant spiders spun a well between the moon and the morning star, creating a field where the foot soldiers were positioned.
00:16:17
Speaker
On the enemy's side, the left side was made up by Hippomermics, led by Phaethon himself. These creatures were enormous, winged, and looked like giant ants. The largest ones were about the size of a football field, and not only did the riders fight, but the ants also caused a lot of damage with their horns. There were 50,000 of them. In the right wing were the Acroponas and 50,000 men strong, all archers riding giant ganets. Next came the Aerodaches, likely armored foot soldiers, who were very good in battle, throwing giant turnips from slings.
00:17:04
Speaker
Anyone hit by these turnips would soon die from the horrible smell as they were coated with a toxic mellow substance. Following them were 50,000 calamatitis, heavily armed soldiers with mushroom shields and asparagus stock spears. Nearby were the Cenoballanians, sent from the dog store, men with dog faces riding on winged acorns. The Slingers from the Milky Way and the Neptunius Cenons arrived too late to help as the battle was already over. In fact, the Slingers never showed up at all, and this angered Phaethinyr so much that he would later overrun their country.
00:17:48
Speaker
These were the forces Phaethon brought to the battle. When the signal was given, the asses, not ass, a donkey, of course, on either side braid. They used this instead of trumpets, and the fight began. The left wing of the Sun soldiers quickly fled from the Hippoganians, leading a significant slaughter. However, the right wing of the Sun soldiers pushed back our left wing until they reached our own foot soldiers. and Our foot soldiers joined forces and made the enemies turn and flee, especially after realizing their left wing was already defeated. Thus had the enemy
00:18:30
Speaker
been entirely routed and many were captured and many were slain. Blood was spilled everywhere, some falling on the clouds making them up appear like red during a sunset and some even dropped to earth. I think Homer has gotten his idea of Jupiter's raining blood from something similar. After the pursuit, we set up two monuments for our glory and our victory. One on the ground battle of the spider web and another for the aerial fight on the clouds.
00:19:06
Speaker
Just as we finished, our scouts reported that the Neptunians were approaching. They should have joined Phaethium before the battle, but when they came into view, they were a sight to behold. Monsters with the bodies of flying horses and the upper hoofers of men as big as the Rhodian colossus and large ship. The Sagittarius left them from the Zodiac. Upon learning of their allies' defeat, they sent a message to Phaethion to restart the fight. They quickly arranged themselves and attacked the moon soldiers who were scattered around while gathering the spoils of war. The moon soldiers were routed and the king was chased into his city. Most of his birds were killed and the trophies were overturned and destroyed and the spider-spun territory was conquered. My two companions and I were captured alive.
00:20:00
Speaker
When Phaethion arrived, they set up their monuments instead to celebrate their victory. The following day we were taken to the sun with our arms bound behind us with a piece of cobweb. They didn't lay siege to the city, but built a double wall of clouds in the sky to block the sun right to reach the moon, causing a total eclipse and perpetual night.
00:20:32
Speaker
deeply troubled by the darkness, and the minions and ambassadors to plead for the wall to be torn down, promising to pay tribute, be a friend, and never, never again rise against Phaethaean. Phaethaean consul met twice. At first they refused, but the next day they reconsidered and agreed to these terms. The Sun People, Hellatonians, and their allies have made peace with the Moon People, celentians and their allies under these terms. The Sun People will take down the wall and release the prisoners for a fair ransom. The Moon People will leave the other stars alone and not start any wars with the Sun People. Instead, they will help each other if either is attacked.
00:21:22
Speaker
The Moon King will pay the Sun King a yearly tribute of 10,000 vessels of dew and provide 10,000 of their people as hostages to ensure their loyalty. Both groups will jointly send a colony to the morning store allowing anyone else to join if they want. These peace terms will be engraved on an amber pillar to be erected in the sky at the border of their lands. The Sun People representatives, Perondes, Theritus, and Phologias, and the Moon People representatives, Nicor, Menus, and Polylampus have sworn to uphold these terms.
Creative Societies and Customs
00:22:01
Speaker
With that, peace was concluded, the wall was demolished, and we prisoners were freed.
00:22:07
Speaker
We returned to the moon, and the minion and his friends welcomed us with open arms and tears of joy. He asked us to stay and join the colony, even offering me his son in marriage, since no woman were there. I i politely declined, wanting to return to the sea. After seven days of feasting, he reluctantly allowed us to leave. Now let me share some bizarre things I observed during my stay. First, they are not born of women but of men. They have no concept of women until they turn 25. They are given in marriage to others and after that they take others in marriage themselves.
00:22:52
Speaker
not unlike the practice of pederasty in Athens. When a baby is conceived, the man legs swell, and when it's time for birth, they make an incision and take the baby out, which is initially dead. They open the baby's mouth towards the wind, and the baby come to life. This might be why the Greeks call it the belly of the leg as it serves the same purpose. Even stranger, there are men called dendrichion who are born in a rather macabre way. They cut out the right testicle from a man and plant it in the ground. From this grows a tree of flesh with branches and leaves, bearing fruits that looks like a cubit-long acorn.
00:23:39
Speaker
When ripe they harvest these fruits and cut out the men from them, their private parts can be attached and removed as needed. So rich men often have their private parts, their members made out of ivory, of course. While, well, those less fortunate use simpler wooden ones, and they are used for procreation and intimate relations. When a man reaches his full age, he doesn't die in the usual sense. Instead, he dissolves into smoke and turns into air.
00:24:18
Speaker
Their food is unique. They light a fire and broil frogs, which are plentiful and fly throughout the air like little birds. As the frogs cook, they gather around the fire and inhale the smoke, which is their real meal. For drink, they beat the air in a mortar until it becomes moist, like dew, kind of. They don't have to worry about excreting waste, since they, well, they don't produce any. Their boys engage in a form of intimacy that's a bit different from ours, using a small opening behind their legs. Being bald is considered very attractive, and hairy people are looked down upon, except among the comet stars, where hair is greatly admired.
00:25:10
Speaker
They grow beards above their knees and have no toenails. Their feet are just one giant big toe and each person has a long, unbreakable, cabbage-like tail growing from their backside. The mucus from the noses is sweeter than honey. When they work or exercise, they rub their bodies with milk. If some of their sweet mucus mixes with the milk, it becomes cheese. They produce a fragrant, high-quality oil from beans. They have many wines that produce water instead of wine, and the grape clusters resemble hailstones. I believe that when strong winds shakes these wines, it causes hailstorms on Earth. Their bellies act as pouches to store their belongings, which they can open and close at will.
00:26:01
Speaker
They don't have livers or end trains, their insides are rough and hairy, allowing them to keep their young warm inside their belly. Rich people wear soft, delicate garments made of glass, while the poor wear clothes woven from brass. which they soften a bit with water, much like we do with wool. Their eyes are remarkable. You can take them in and out as they please. And if someone wants to rest their eyes or to say they can simply remove them, put them to the side until, well, they need them again. Those who lose their eyes can borrow from others, as the rich often have extra pairs lying around. Their ears are made out of leaves from playing trees.
00:26:49
Speaker
except those born from the acorns, those have wooden ears. I saw another strange thing in that same chord. A colossal glass laying over a shallow pit. Anyone who descends into the pit can hear everything happening on earth. If they look into the glass, they can see all the cities and nations as clearly as, well, they were there. I saw another strange thing in that same court, a colossal glass lying over a shallow pit. And anyone who descends into that pit can hear everything happening on Earth. And if they look into the glass, they can see all the cities and nations as clearly as they were there.
00:27:36
Speaker
I saw all my friends and the whole country around me. Whether whether they saw me or not, i I can't really say. If you don't believe me, you you go there yourself, and you you see that I'm telling the truth here. We then set sail again, after saying all our goodbyes to the kings and his courtiers. And the minion gave me two gloss mountles, five brass ones, and a complete set of armor made out of lupine shell. all of which unfortunately got lost in later event. I think this is called foreshadowing. He also sent thousand Hippoginians to escort us there for about 11 000 kilometers. We passed many other lands along the way and finally arrived at the morning start. Now
00:28:28
Speaker
newly inhabited. We landed, we got some fresh water, and we continued our journey through the zodiac. Passing the sun, although our crew wanted to land in the sun's country, the wind didn't allow for it this time. We saw the lush, well-watered land full of the light on the sun's surface. The Neputhenians, who were the mercenaries of Phthians, spotted us. Realizing we were friendly, they left us alone since our Hippogonian escort has departed. We sailed through the night and the day, and by the evening we arrived at a city called Liszno Polish.
00:29:08
Speaker
located in the air between the Pleiades and the Hades, just below the Zodiac. We saw no people in this city, only countless lights moving about. They were in the marketplace, somewhere in the harbor, they were small, humble and large, magnificent lights, each with its own place and its own name. And we heard them speak. The lights didn't harm us, but invited us to feast with them. However, we were too scared to eat or sleep while we were there. The court of justice stood in the city center, where the governor sat all night, calling each light by name. Those who didn't respond were sentenced to, quote, death, which meant being extinguished.
00:30:01
Speaker
We witnessed these proceedings, heard the light explain their lateness, and even spoke to our own light, learning about affairs back home. We spent the night there, and returned to the ship the following day. As we sailed the near the clouds, we caught sight of the city of Nephilikinhia, which amazed us, but we didn't enter because of the wind again. Its king was Coronas, son of Cottothion. I couldn't help but but think of the poet Aristophanes, realizing how wise and truthful he was and how little reason there is to doubt any of his writings. On the third day after our departure, we finally saw the ocean again, though we could only see the floating lands in the air which looked fiery and glittering.
00:30:50
Speaker
By noon on the fourth day, the wind gently calmed and Saturn was slowly back into the sea. As soon we realized we were on the water again, we were overjoyed and couldn't contain our happiness. We celebrated with the provisions we had, we swam around for funs and the sea was calm and we were made merry. However, A turn for the better can often lead to greater crubbles. After just two days of smooth sailing, on the third day at sunrise we encountered many monstrous fishes and whales.
00:31:31
Speaker
and one whale in particular was enormous, about 330 000 meters in size, and it approached us with its mouth wide open, stirring the sea into a frothy mess, its teeth longer than any beech tree and as sharp as a needle gleamed like white ivory, thinking this was the end we embraced and we said our final goodbyes and The monster reached up to us quickly and swallowed the ship whole, but luckily it didn't crush us. Instead, our ship slipped through its gaping mouth and slid right down to the belly of the beast. We were in complete darkness until the whale opened its mouth again.
00:32:15
Speaker
Then we saw what we were inside of the monstrous whale, but big enough to contain a city of 10,000 people. There were bits of fish and chipmoss, anchors, human bows and luggage scattered around. In the middle, There was land with hills likely formed from the mud settling inside a whale. Wood, trees and all kinds of various herbs grew on it making it look like a like a farmed landscape. The land was about 5200 kilometers in circumference and there were all sorts of
00:32:49
Speaker
seabirds nesting in the trees. At first we wept abundantly, but eventually I rallied my crew. We propped up our ship, struck a fire and prepared supper with the abundance of fish around us. Fortunately we still had enough water from the morning start to stain us. The following day we woke up early to watch the whales gaping mouth. Through it we could sometimes see mountains, sometimes see the sky and most often we just saw different islands. The whale moved swiftly through the seas. Tired of this I took seven of my crew and ventured into the woods to see if we could find anything at all in here.
00:33:33
Speaker
After about a kilometer, we found a temple dedicated to Neptune with several sepulchers with pillars and clear water fountain. We also heard a dog barking and saw smoke in the distance, indicating habitation. nearby. Hurrying along we found an older man and a young boy tending a garden and channeling water from the fountain. Both day and we were struck with both joy and fear and we stood mute for a little while. Then the old man finally broke the silence asking, who are you, spirits of the sea or
00:34:11
Speaker
miserable men like us. We were born and bred on earth, but now live within this vale, unsure of our existence. We feel like a dead men who believe they are a alive. I replied, Father, we are men too. We are swallowed up with our ship just yesterday and came into these woods hoping to find something good. Some kind of angel must have guided us to you, showing us We are not alone in this monster. Please tell us your story. The old man said, you should hear nothing from me until you have shared our food. He then took us to his humble home and he served us herbs, not fish and wine.
00:34:53
Speaker
After we were satisfied, he asked about our adventure and i told him about everything. The storm, the island, or flight through the air, the war, or divide into the vein. He was amazed and began to share his tale. I am from the island of Supras, he said. I was a merchant, travelling with my son and many friends, on a voyage to Italy in a lordship filled with merchandise. You may have seen the wreckage in the whale's mouth we sailed well until we reached Sicily. There a terrible storm drove us further into the ocean. And there we encountered this whale.
00:35:36
Speaker
Yeah, swallowed all of us. Only my son and I managed to survive the rest perished unfortunately. We buried them and built this temple to Neptune. Since then we have lived here planting herbs, eating fish, nuts and using the abundant wood and enjoying the delicate wine from the wines. We have well-cooled water and make beds from tree leaves. We catch birds and fish and the whales' gills. There's even a saltwater lake nearby, about 400 kilometers in circumference, where we swim and sail in a boat, well, I built. And this, well, I think this is our 27th year, I'd say. In here you will be, well,
00:36:24
Speaker
We would be content if it was not for our troublesome neighbors.
00:36:37
Speaker
Are there others here beside you? I asked. Yeah. Many, many, and they are unfriendly and monstrous. The western part near the whale's tail is inhabited by the Tarishaneans who look like eel with a lobster face. They are warlike and eat raw flesh. To the right are the Triton Mendentans. To the right are Triton Mendentans with human upper bodies and cat lower bodies who are, yeah, they are less hostile.
00:37:11
Speaker
The left side is home to the Carichinocurians and the Trinopelians, who are allied. The middle region belongs to the Haguridians and the Psetopodomians, who are swift and warlike. The eastern port near the whale's mouth is mostly mostly deserted and over-washed by the sea. I live there, paying an annual tribe of 500 oysters to the Psetopoteians. Many nations inhabit this land, and we needed to decide whether to fight them or find a way to live among them. I asked, how many are there? More than a thousand, he replied. And what kind of weapons do they have? None, just fish bones. Then,
00:38:01
Speaker
Then he's best to fight them, I suggested. Since we're better armed, we will defeat them, and we can live here without a doubt of fear. We all agreed and went back to our ship to gather our weapons. The reason for the war started when we didn't pay the tribute due. They sent messengers to de demand it, but Skinthauros, the older man, gave them a harsh and scornful reply and sent them on the empty-handed way. Skinthauros' response angered the Setopedians and the Pargadeians, who came against us with great noise. Expecting this, we prepared ou ourselves. We placed 25 of our men in ambush, instructing them to attack when the enemy had passed. They did so, springing from their hiding places and attacking the enemy from the rear, and we
00:38:52
Speaker
Another 25, including Scarinthius and his son, advanced to meet them head-on with great courage and strength. Ultimately, we defeated them and chased them back into the dense. We killed 170 of the enemy, losing only one on our own beside Prigals, our pilot, who was pierced through the back with a fish-rip. That day and the following night, we stayed in our trenches and set up a dry, dolphin backbone as our victory trophy. The following day, the rest of the inhabitants realized what had happened and came to attack us. The Tarchaean, led by Palamus, took the right wing. The Theanopalanians were on the left, the Karukwicinians were the main battle line that tried to met Denthans, however stayed out of it and didn't join either side. We met them near Neptune's temple and engaged in battle with a loud cry that echoed through the whale-like cave. But since they were unarmed and naked, we quickly defeated them and chased them back into the woods, taking control over the whole land. Soon after, the sent ambassadors to ask for the bodies of the dead and to, well, negotiate peace with us.
00:40:03
Speaker
We had no intentions of making peace, so the next day, we attacked and killed all of them. Except for the Triton Medantans, who fled through the vale's gills into the sea. We then explored the now-deserted country, living there without fear of enemies. We spent our time exercising, hunting, planting vineyards, and enjoying the fruit of the trees, living like men who had a world at their own disposal, while biting, well, a vast, inescapable prison. We lived this way for a year and eight months. On the fifth day, on the ninth month, when the whale opened its mouth for a second time that hour, we guessed time based on this. We suddenly heard a loud cry and a mighty noise like sailors shouting and oars moving, which started us. We crept up the whale's mouth and, standing within his teeth, saw the strangest sight.
00:41:01
Speaker
Enormous men, 100 meters tall, sailing on huge islands if they were ships. I know it sounds unbelievable, but here it is. The islands were long but not very high, about 2,000 kilometers in circumference. Each island carried 28 of these giant men who sat on, I decide, rowing and with entire cypress trees, branches and all as oars. At the back, the captain stood on a hill with a brazen rudder 200 meters long. At the front, 40 soldiers, looking like men, except of their flaming hair, stood ready for battle. They didn't need helmets, as their hair burned very bright. The island trees acted as sails, catching the wind and moving the island like a ship, directed by pilots.
00:41:53
Speaker
At first we only saw two or three of these islands, but soon there were no less than 600 of them. They divided into two groups, prepared for battle. Many collide and broke apart, some capsized and drowned. The soldiers fought fiercely, showing great bravery with no prisoners taken. Instead of iron grapples, they used giant polydons, which they threw onto the lash onto the other island, securing them in place. They heard enormous oysters and sponges, the sights of tennis courts at each other as weapons.
00:42:29
Speaker
The leaders were Helio Coron Taurus on the one side and Thalassopotus on the other. Their quarrel was over a stonem booty. Thalassopotus has allegedly driven away many flocks of dolphins belonging to Eilenko Taurus. As we gather from the Shouts and their calls to the Kings, islands of Taurus won the day sinking 150 of the enemy's islands and capturing 3 with all of their men. The rest fled, but not pursued far as it was getting late. The victors salvaged what they could from the wrecks and took their dead away.
00:43:10
Speaker
they lost 80 islands in that battle. The victors erected a monument to their victory by fastening one of their enemy's islands on a stake on the whale's head. They anchored near the whale that night with a massive, strong glass anchor. The following day, after sacrificing on the whale and burying the dead, they sailed away triumphantly, singing songs of victory. And that was the remarkable battle of the islands. And that is the end of book one. So I hope you have enjoyed this little, well, summer excursion into, well, Roman literature. Next time we will finish off the story, see if there's more space battles or giant whales, who knows what will come up. Until
Conclusion and Support for the Podcast
00:43:59
Speaker
next time, I hope that you leave a five-story view anywhere you can. These reviews really do help us. I know that you're meaning to leave one.
00:44:08
Speaker
So take the time now, just park over there if you're driving, you just write a kind word, give five stars wherever you listen to this, or share with a few friends on top of that. And if you want to support the show a little bit with the upkeep and all that, you can become a patron. is a monthly payment and we have different tiers depending on your wallet size. And if you don't want to join over at patreon.com slash digging up ancient aliens, you can go to the website diggingup ancient aliens.com slash support and become a member there instead. You get the same bonus and benefits. There's an extra episode, there's extended episode, there are ad free episodes and they come a little bit earlier.
00:44:58
Speaker
and a lot of different good things over there coming later as things starting to finally catch up. But then if you want to support the archaeological podcast network head over to the site archaeologicalpodcastnetwork.com and check out the other amazing shows over there. There's an extreme variety you can choose between. There's an extreme variety you can choose between and there's even a member thing over there too if you want to support the whole network so to say. And well there's not many sources for this episode.
00:45:38
Speaker
But you find a full transcript on the Thinking of Ancient Aliens website, as usual. Oh, intro music was written by Sandro Martelor and outro is by the band called Thrallscrew, who sings their song Thin Foil Hat or Fully Hat. Links to both of these artists can be found down in the show notes, and um until next time, keep showing that silence. I've been waiting for you for so long I've been waiting for you for so long I've been waiting for you for so long I've been waiting for you for so long
00:46:39
Speaker
you