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00:00:01
Monique Kelley
59 Plays6 days ago
Thanks for listening to our episode with Monique Kelley.
To keep up with or connect with Monique:
✨ Monique’’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moniquekelleygigliotti/
✨Order her new book, Redefining Networking: How to Lead with Your Unique Value https://www.redefiningnetworkingbook.com/
To stay in touch with Meredith and Medbury:
Follow Meredith on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meredith-farley/
Follow Medbury on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/medbury_agency/
Subscribe to the Medbury newsletter: https://meredithfarley.substack.com/
Email Meredith: Meredith@MedburyAgency.com
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Transcript
Meeting Through Chief
00:00:03
Speaker
Hey. Hi, Monique. Hi, Meredith. How are you? I'm doing really well. I'm so excited to get to talk to you. Thank you very much for doing this. Same here. Looking forward to it.
00:00:15
Speaker
So you and I met through Chief early might like early this year, and then we stayed in touch. We just caught up a little bit ago, but we also talked in May, and you and I were emailing, and you mentioned that you were wrapping up this book and i was like, I'd love to have you on content people
Monique's Professional Identity
00:00:35
Speaker
to talk about it. So I'm so excited to talk about you, your career, your book, all of your amazing insights for folks who don't know you and who you are, who are you and what do you do
00:00:46
Speaker
Yeah, thank you. So really excited to be here. I'm Monique Kelly. The what do you do answer I'm still trying to narrow down as some of you might have noticed, Chief, the women's executive group is really focusing a lot on what's called the multi-hyphenate.
00:01:00
Speaker
And I am a true multi-hyphenate in the sense that I'm a associate professor at Boston University's College of Communication. I run my own fractional corporate communications business for Fortune 50 and biopharma companies.
Academic Journey and Career Transition
00:01:14
Speaker
And yeah, I just authored a book that's going to be coming out shortly too around networking and how we can lead with the value we can provide to others.
00:01:23
Speaker
Excited to dig into all of those things. But before we get into what you're doing now, what has been your career journey? How did you get to this super cool multi-hyphenate professor, author, consultant spot?
00:01:36
Speaker
So all things that I never thought I would do. In fact, I now teach where I went to undergraduate school. And I tell my students all the time, they are so much smarter than me.
00:01:47
Speaker
higher SAT scores, like all the things.
Media Relations to Healthcare Communications
00:01:50
Speaker
I went into BU as a nutrition major and completely stumbled. i like failed pre-med bio. I failed everything. I was like, I withdrew. I don't even know why I was in engineering physics to study, to practice nutrition. What do you need engineering physics for? So I always tease, but all of the things I stumbled into communication And when I was in college, this was maybe my junior year, I really appreciated communications and media relations because that was the first class that taught me a profession.
00:02:19
Speaker
And I could wrap my head around it. And I really appreciated the whole, there's a strategy and a dance behind what we recommend. It's not just willy-nilly. And I really appreciated that. And so graduating from there at the time, it was a tougher economy probably than it is now. I wanted to stay in Boston. I'm from New Jersey, Jersey originally.
00:02:39
Speaker
I loved Boston, but all of the jobs at the time were in New York City. So I moved there. i started working at an investor relations firm, handling media relations. So again, doing the job that I studied and learned in college.
00:02:53
Speaker
And maybe after about a year of that, fell into healthcare roles. Literally fell. And I always think it's ironic that um I was hired by MSNL Healthcare care to work on a very prominent Pfizer business for Alzheimer's disease. And I always thought Pfizer doesn't care about my GPA and they don't care that I failed pre-med bio and they don't need to know. So to this day, I'm like, I don't tell my clients, but I tell my students all of that. And I think that's when it it started to hit me working with people who had serious medical conditions and I was advocating on their behalf to get their stories out to the media. And a lot of their stories was around hope, but it was also around what I wish I did differently or seeking healthcare and support earlier on when I saw signs of different diseases. I was what, 22, 23 years old. And I thought that was such an immense responsibility, but also a privilege that I was able to really partner with a lot of people with serious conditions as well as their caregivers.
Passion for Agency Work and Relocation
00:03:52
Speaker
And so I really just fell in love with healthcare care and healthcare cons and have been at it ever since.
00:03:57
Speaker
Now the professor angle, I love agency. I still, to this day, I was 16 year agency gal, MSNL, Conan Wolf, which is now Burson and then Weber. I love new business prospecting. I probably should have been in sales, but I love, I get a thrill from that and working with a team to really produce great work for clients. And when I was at Weber, at this point I had transferred to Weber Boston. So I had moved from New York to Boston with my husband. So we're back here in Boston.
00:04:23
Speaker
It was the first snowstorm. It was the 2015 snowstorm. So I'm thinking, Oh, yeah. Make the wrong decision by coming back here. And maybe i should have stayed in New York. But when I was at Weber, I got a chance to do some amazing things.
00:04:36
Speaker
And there was a someone in the industry who was an agency person that had gone to Takeda.
Balancing Teaching and Business
00:04:42
Speaker
And so she had asked me if we wanted to connect for an opportunity that I actually thought, because I love new business pitching, it was for Weber Shanwick. So I told everyone in the office, I'm going to take it. I'm going to pitch the business.
00:04:56
Speaker
She actually had a job for me, a director of R and comes position. She was like, this isn't for Weber. This is for you. so ah And funny, cause to this day, nobody ever asked me about it. It wasn't like, so I was at meeting and where's our business. It was just kind of like, whatever. Probably used to me getting excited about everything. And so I ended up going in house and after spending about.
00:05:13
Speaker
four years between R&D comms and commercial comms. I had a really vast remit working with the COO. It was an awesome experience, but just due to the culture, I was at a point where i wanted something different.
00:05:26
Speaker
And I had already started, i had already started adjuncting during COVID. It was a crazy time for all of us, but definitely for professors who had to teach with masks on. So thankfully I'm loud. So the students definitely heard me, in outer space heard me at any point. So that was good. And so I was at that point where I was asked to apply for a full-time position after two years.
00:05:48
Speaker
So right when I was thinking, okay, I've done this at Takeda for four years, I think I might need a change. That's when a full-time role opened up to become this associate professor. So that's how that started.
00:06:00
Speaker
Man, what is it like being a professor for a field that is so rapidly changing and that you have so much hands-on experience
Real-world Experience in Education
00:06:10
Speaker
in? Because so many professors have a deep academic experience of their field, but they have it's not necessarily nine-to-five job that they've worked for 15 years. What's that like?
00:06:20
Speaker
Yeah, when I was at BU, we did not have a lot of professors of the practice, the industry professors. It was a lot of academic PhDs. And right now our department is about 50-50, the mass comm advertising and PR department. So there's about half professors like me, either previous industry or like me, I'm still in it. I still work with clients and then also half researchers and academics. And so I appreciate that we're giving our students the best of both worlds. I don't have a master's and I'm very keen on getting experience and I appreciate all the experience I've been able to have in my career. And so my slant and my stance, I think, is going to be different from the academics in the sense that I'm always going to give real world opportunities. So, for instance, I just this week had my students pitched to Ben & Jerry's Boston, the franchise owner. Because it's one thing if they can pitch media ideas to me, but again, loving new business, I create these mock new business pitch simulations for them. So they can learn the new business process, which typically they're not in even as an entry level or maybe even mid-level professional.
00:07:27
Speaker
But also they can get the big names on their resume and just build their confidence. And they just pitched Ben and Jerry's. In the past, I had Spotify, Verizon, Chick-fil-A. And it was interesting that one year i had my students pitch. I know the general manager of Microsoft. I thought it was a good thing. I was like, Microsoft, like Fortune 10 company. And they all looked at me like, we hate you. And this is nerve wracking. And we are not ready. We're not confident.
00:07:54
Speaker
but So I also appreciate that, like taking them fruit from I don't know what I'm doing yeah to being able to pitch. In that case, Letty, who is very kind person who gave great constructive feedback to them.
00:08:08
Speaker
And then they come out on the other side, confident and ready and empowered and almost feeling like, wow, so a real person, not just a professor, like a real general manager or VP of comms or CMO, they actually liked our ideas and we do have worth and value to give. So it's pretty cool to see that transformation.
00:08:27
Speaker
That is so cool. I can imagine that being incredibly useful. I'm trying to think back, I think to my own experience, I had something a little bit like that where we wrote a grant for a local organization as part of a grant writing class. I remember that first like meeting with the client I like almost peed my pants. I was so nervous. It was crazy, but it's like you get older. So getting, that feels incredible. And it sounds like you're leveraging your network a bit to create these opportunities for them to have this like very useful experience. It's really all my network. And that's the thing.
Redefining Networking and Writing a Book
00:09:00
Speaker
I started to notice pretty early on, like even to get the BU job, like I was selfish. I only went to BU because Weber Boston, where I worked at the time was mentioning, we don't have a lot of great interns, like the pool. We can't really find people to work. And I'm thinking, okay, we've got Emerson, we've got Northeast and all these awesome schools down the street. So I figured, let me leverage my old professors at BU. They were still there at the time to start guest speaking.
00:09:24
Speaker
And I would just plug Weber. It was selfish. I was like, i I'm here to help recruit people, but I also want to talk to you about the industry and about agency life. And then that turned into an adjunct. It was being at the right place at the right time.
00:09:37
Speaker
And then that turned into the full-time role. And so I started to notice this notion of network and relationships and just quote unquote, earning your key, contributing to people seems to open up other opportunities, but it's almost like that investment of time. i don't think you have to necessarily spend, I think it was a good six, seven years before I became a full-time professor. And that interview was funny because my department head at the time looked at me and he's like, oh, i already know you. And we already have data on you from course evaluations about how students feel about your class. This is not really an interview. It's more of a, do you have questions for us?
00:10:12
Speaker
And it's a great position to be in. Yeah. Okay. Networking is such a huge part of your messaging, I feel. And... Can you talk a little bit about your book that's just come out or it's pre-order right now? What's the official publish date?
00:10:25
Speaker
Yeah, December 15th. So pre-order now. I think Rutledge.com, Amazon has them all in sales still. It's nice. They're keeping their Cyber Monday sales at least throughout the week. So, you know, it's available on those sites. but Yeah.
00:10:38
Speaker
Again, I never saw myself as an author at all, ever. And I'm still a little confused. Like, how do I get here? How do I definitely, how did I get to the school where I failed pre-med bio and got like a 3.2 GPA? And I always tell people they know my transcripts. I am who I am.
00:10:51
Speaker
But even from this author perspective, when I was getting ready to leave Decatur, I actually started as a full-time professor the same day I launched my LLC. And so I was doing two new jobs, kind of deer in headlights. People were telling me, do you have a website? Do you have a logo? I'm like, I don't have anything. I just have me and my network. And I'm so blessed that it's been over three years and I still just work through my network. I've had not one lull in clients. I just talked to a friend at J&J this morning. It's just for me about how do I just keep contributing to people I know so and their networks and then their networks. And if and when i don't have the capacity, how do I pull in others so that we all win together? And so having this whole, I think, revelation of understanding how important a network is, I spoke to someone in my network who actually was asking me to endorse his book, Adam Ritchie.
00:11:42
Speaker
And his book, Invention in PR, was published by Rutledge, which is a reputable business and academic publisher out in the UK. And so when he asked me to endorse his book, I thought to myself, sure, but I have this concept. i don't know what to do with it, but and I'm certainly not a writer, but I just feel like there's something there with this whole networking idea. And so he said, yeah, let me you could talk to my editor. She's a senior editor who works with the board to get concepts approved like this in exchange for the the endorsement. So we bartered that a little bit.
00:12:15
Speaker
And so when I spoke with, her name is Meredith as well, one of the first things she said was, OK, networking makes sense for you because I imagine you're an extrovert, which semi-true, but also you're in comms.
00:12:29
Speaker
It's a part of your job to be out there and networking and going to the big events. And so I corrected her. I was like, no, I don't like the big events. And in fact, the approach that I'm talking about is more about how do you contribute value and how are you clear in communicating that value of what you can give, not so much what you can get. And of course, there's a fine line. I wouldn't say you just keep giving without getting, but the goal is truly mutual support. So that again, this whole notion of like, how do you win together with people? So she liked it and God bless her for a year because I was starting two new jobs. I wasn't prioritizing developing a nine page proposal for a book.
00:13:09
Speaker
She just followed up and was persistent. Are we doing, what are we doing with the proposal? Have you had a chance? And finally, one day I was at the Jersey shore. God bless Ocean City, New Jersey, where my parents go on vacation. One day I was like, you know what? I'm going to stay back from the beach and I'm just going to crank this out.
00:13:24
Speaker
And I ended up cranking out this nine page document like on the beach. Maybe it was the relaxation of water. I don't know. But two weeks after I submitted it, the board said, yeah, here's your contract.
00:13:35
Speaker
Go. And the first thing I thought of most people would be very thankful and appreciative for that. But my thought was, oh, God, what am I going to do? Because this is August and I'm going right into my full semester.
00:13:48
Speaker
Like, I don't have time. At the time, I was juggling two clients, four classes. Like, what the hell did I do? and But I just made it work. I just same thing, just found pockets of time to write. And as I was writing, I thought, this can't be about my story.
00:14:03
Speaker
This has to be about others. And so I brought in others, commentaries from other people, not comms people, mostly introverts, mostly people that would say they hate networking to prove the point that this isn't about working a room of strangers.
00:14:18
Speaker
This is about truly showing up for people and contributing value. I'm really excited to read it. i feel And also too, I want to say you gave a small talk at the first chief event I was at that you were at on this on the topic. of I think really it resonated with the whole group around networking being it's not a, you made the point, you're like, it doesn't have to mean you go to these giant events with 300 people.
00:14:43
Speaker
right and that And I totally agree with so many points you made around people go into it I know we're talking like high concept networking now, but number one, some people feel nervous. Number two, i know I've had conversations with some folks who said something to the effect of, hate networking because it's just a bunch of small talk until you get to the point where you can ask for what you need. And I was like, I don't think that's the vibe. I don't think that's the That's what really is. But I also think too, some people aren't as comfortable in situations with new folks that-
00:15:16
Speaker
aspect of interpersonal communication doesn't come as naturally. So some people have a bit of an edge if they're like that. And then i also see, I'll say all these things, I'm verbally processing, and then I'll stop and ask you some questions. But something else I see too is that I think people can have a few bad experiences and they decide networking is not for them. right And i don't see I don't know if this is the right analogy, but if you think of it a little bit like prospecting for sales, it's just because you had a couple combos that didn't work out doesn't mean you don't, you give up on all people and all clients and product. Like sometimes I do think like sometimes it's not, sometimes people don't have chemistry or it does feel awkward and it's okay.
00:15:57
Speaker
Cool. That one wasn't a fit. Keep going, keep reaching out, keep staying in touch. But I know I'm saying really high level things here. I'm really curious as to what are some of the pitfalls of networking that you see folks fall into and what's some of the advice you give if someone is, okay, I'm ready to invest time. I'm ready to show up.
00:16:18
Speaker
I feel nervous or a little unsure of how to approach this whole thing. Absolutely. So in the spirit of networking, when I got this first contract, I was like, what do I do? How do I go about it? I shared that with the department head at BU and he mentioned, do we have a grad assistant to help you with the research? And I said, do we do that? i thought it's reserved for PhDs.
00:16:36
Speaker
Absolutely not. Like you're a professor here. You should get that support. And so Sarah, who was my grad assistant, who really looked at a lot of the research, she and I met at a networking event. It was a Middle Eastern and North African culture event. I'm part Iranian. She's Egyptian. I solely went. I always have selfish reasons for these things. I solely went for the food because I love the food.
00:16:56
Speaker
And as I was talking, she asked, she was curious. And she asked, what are you doing? And i'm like, oh, my God, I have this book. I got to start researching. And she just rose her hand. and was like, I can help you with that. I want to be a solopreneur. I would love to learn from you about...
Networking Strategies
00:17:08
Speaker
business and maybe connect with your network. And so again, we had this win-win situation. And so every week we would meet, we would go through the research and the literature. And one of the big points that stuck out to me that's in the book is 80% people In general, this is a global LinkedIn study that was done. 80% of people know that networking is important.
00:17:30
Speaker
They can at least acknowledge, yes, networking is a thing. And this 80% number seems to come up a lot. The U.S. labor force did a study. 80% of jobs are found in the hidden job market, found through networking that way. They're not listed. Forbes mentioned 80% of jobs are found through networking. It's always this 80%.
00:17:48
Speaker
But interestingly, when we look at the data, about only half do it. And when they do network, it's because they need something. Because, oh, unfortunately I've gotten laid off and now I have to tap into a network that I have not been following up with in 10, 20, 30 years. Or there's some other reason why I need something so I'm now going to follow back up with people.
00:18:12
Speaker
That's really what we're seeing a lot of them. When the data we looked into and figured out why what's going on, time was a big factor in that people not feeling like they have time. Similarly to what you shared earlier, it's people not feeling comfortable and engaging in a transaction. So feeling like I don't want to ask. I know I have to ask people for something, but it doesn't feel good.
00:18:33
Speaker
And then the last but not least, again, this notion of I'm not extroverted or I'm shy or it feels awkward to me. And so I finally, as we kind of looked through all the research, I thought to myself, I think what's really going on here is that this word networking is a dirty word.
00:18:50
Speaker
When hear network, oh, either you have a visceral reaction or you're like, oh yeah, I'm a great networker. But nobody really defines it. And so when we looked at the definition, even the definition itself felt too transactional. So that's how I got the title of the book, The Redefining Networking. Because it's like, we have to redefine that word. And the definition for me is really about, it's earning your keep.
00:19:12
Speaker
And it goes back to that whole, It won't feel as awkward if you feel like you're earning your keep and you're investing the time and the support to do it. And so you don't give to get, but it certainly feels much more comfortable asking somebody for something when it's ah a friend, if it's and somebody who's a known entity and someone who you've invested time and support in at some point. I'll give you an example.
00:19:36
Speaker
When I was still, I believe I was still at Takeda, was pretty fresh in and a company actually who ended up being one of my clients for my LLC, Daiichi Senkiel. I worked with them for years at Weber, New York as a client. So I've known them for 15 years. They reached out to me to see who I would recommend for a internal comms employee engagement consultant.
00:19:58
Speaker
And I said, oh my God, my friend Carolyn Hudson, you have to talk to her. she and I worked together at Weber. She is the queen of EECM. And now she's actually moved on her own and she consults. So I connected the two of them together thinking nothing of it, just connecting two great people. I think the key here is knowing that all of us had trust with each other. I trust with Daiichi, trust with Carolyn. We've all worked together. And so it was a referral based on that.
00:20:24
Speaker
um Come to find out when I ended up not thinking at the time that I would leave and become a professor and a consultant. And I thought, how do I do this? And maybe I should just let people I know, know that I'm available. Daiichi was one of the first to say, yes, how can we figure this out?
00:20:40
Speaker
And I remember them saying, we don't even know what we need, but we know that you're available and we love working with you and we'll figure it out. And Carolyn was one of the first people to help onboard me to some of the new ways of working for the company. And after four or five years of her consulting, she is now a full-time director there.
00:20:59
Speaker
um so now she has a full-time position and absolutely loves working with them, vice versa. And so I think that's just a good example of how you don't go into these relationships or referring people and anything to think, hey, one day you owe me.
00:21:12
Speaker
But it just naturally and organically happened. Same thing with my friend, Jen Sylvent from Daiichi who moved to J and she was the first person to pull me over. Oh, you're available? Please, we need some help with our executives. She ended up moving to another company and same thing, always thinks to bring me over. And I always think about her anytime she needs anything. oh I need full-time person who's a director level or senior manager. I'm always referring good people to her because I know she's there for me and there's that expectation that I will continue to earn my keep with her.
00:21:45
Speaker
It's interesting you say there's shared trust there and there was a long history. I wonder if a lot of people, i think sometimes when people say networking, they picture milling around in a room of strangers in like,
00:21:58
Speaker
1990s business. and the I always think of like 80s working girl. I tease. I'm like, I think I came out the womb with a briefcase and like the shoulder pads because I absolutely would have loved that life if I was older in the 80s. But my husband and i actually watched Working Girl two weeks ago. i love That's me. I'm like, that should have been me. But anyway.
00:22:17
Speaker
But when what you're talking about is really just like friends and colleagues shooting an email, like the most powerful networking in some ways. And I wonder if actually there are a good chunk of people who actually do network, but they almost don't consider it that because they're like, no, that was different. That was just my friend or old coworker and I made a quick email intro and it's, that's it. And that's the part of it. And you got it. Yeah. So many people do it. And for some reason there's this notion of it, even with my students, it's really daunting to talk to strangers. okay, but I just had the global comms director of TikTok come in or comms leader at Walmart, like to for guest speaking, follow up with them. They're there to help you. but always tease. I'm like, guest speakers get nothing. Like at least get a little something and maybe some free ice cream from Ben & Jerry's and chicken from Chick-fil-A when they pitch them.
00:23:03
Speaker
But these people are only here to help you. So they are a friendly audience. And in fact, if you don't follow up with them, the first call they're going to make is to me to say, oh, my God, was that not? Did I bomb? Was that not good? Because no students want to talk to me. So if nothing else, Do it to make them feel like they're being helpful because they really do want to help you. Even if you're nervous, get over the nerves and just start building relationships with them. So I think you're absolutely right.
00:23:30
Speaker
We all do it. But sometimes we have this misperception that networking has to be with complete strangers and we have to wear name tags. Mine are is always spelled wrong, where we're having to have these awkward conversations all the time, which the research shows that's a huge barrier for networking.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah, totally. And I think to what you're saying too, i know some folks say there's a they meet a really big person and they go to a talk of somebody really cool. yeah I think sometimes, especially younger folks, and tell me like if this is what you see too, is I see them jump immediately to how do I ask them for an internship or something like that? And it's like, no, just send them a thank you. Just send them an email and say, I loved it. What you said was this. I just subscribed to your newsletter. going following you on LinkedIn. Thank you so much.
00:24:20
Speaker
And then you reply in a couple of months to a cool email, that a newsletter they send that it's not jumping immediately to the ask. And I think people don't understand that. And then they're paralyzed by the fear of, oh, how could I ask that huge person to help me? And it's, you don't.
00:24:37
Speaker
and that's Exactly. but like through aation relationship I feel like you were in my class because one of the students actually told me that she raised her hand. She's like, I don't like to network because it feels really uncomfortable. And I'm like, never do anything that feels uncomfortable, but really uncover why it feels uncomfortable. And you hit it. They all think, yeah, I don't want to ask this person for a job.
00:24:55
Speaker
Then don't. And so this whole notion of showing up, especially for students, I find is, and I actually, i force it now. I'm like, everyone's going to do a two paragraph summary of key takeaways from the guest speakers. Not just for me, it's mainly for you so that you have something to remember when you follow up with them on LinkedIn to not just say, thanks for coming into my class or sending a LinkedIn with nothing in it.
00:25:18
Speaker
But saying, you know what, I appreciated your perspective when you talked about having a rough start or that you didn't have it figured out or that you started in journalism and now you're a content creator or you're a graphic designer. So it's okay to have this portfolio career, which I didn't even know what that meant. Whatever that is, make it personable and use LinkedIn as a tool. A lot of them don't feel comfortable yet posting, but they can like it.
00:25:46
Speaker
And they can be authentic in commenting and showing up. There's a lot of times where our guest speakers will post internships and maybe they're not interested in working for, i don't know, they all say Nike, so I can't say Nike, but maybe they're not interested in working for a healthcare company. I love healthcare. care Not everyone wants to jump right into healthcare, care but maybe they have a bad roommate who's interested, or maybe they know of someone. So even being able to play connector at that level, who's to say you can't do that? So i'm trying to help them and professionals just reimagine what networking can look like that's more authentic to them. I do have a three-step process that makes it a little easier where step one, you're focusing on what is the value you can provide? and it'll change depending on the audience. Of course, if we talk about academia, they could care less than I love to sell. I'm that sales person hustler. Like I love it, but that's great maybe for agencies or maybe for a job where I'm selling, but for them, it's really focusing on the value of I can bring my connections, my real world experience. I can help them with the profession so that their transition is a lot smoother than mine was. So kind of looking at what is that value that you can provide and then identifying those audiences that make sense to provide it and they won't be for everyone and that's okay. But the more specific you can get for those audiences, the better. And then last but not least, communicating it to your point.
00:27:09
Speaker
If they're putting out that newsletter or something on Substack, being able to follow up with them and engage and sharing that and just supporting them where you can. So I'm hopeful that no matter where you are in your networking journey, everyone can do this in a way that does feel better and to use the Gen Z term, less cringe for for them.
00:27:31
Speaker
Totally. All right. One, another, as you're talking, there's something I'm thinking about i'm really curious for your perspective on because I feel like also when like giving advice to younger folks in my network, a pattern I notice with them is that there's two things.
00:27:44
Speaker
Number one, what you're talking about with authenticity. I think there's also a place in networking to just – be drawn to the people you're drawn to at an event. And if it feels really awkward with someone or is just not there, move on. Like, I think sometimes people feel like, oh, this person seemed important or relevant, but they just couldn't click. And then they feel like they failed. yeah And sometimes it's just, you guys aren't a great fit. That's fine. But, and then I also think too, I noticed that I think, and again, in my head, it's such like retro visuals. Like, I think young people sometimes expect to come out of like a networking event with 18 business cards and five people who've offered them a job. And if they don't hit that, they fail. But it's no. If you met one person who you like, who you're going to stay in touch with, who you know how to, you're going to make an, in I think, what am I trying to say with that? It's a, it's, I don't know, diamond in the rough is not exactly the right term, but like people's perceptions of what success is by investing in networking. I think they're, they think they've failed when they haven't. Yes.
00:28:46
Speaker
I think it's also okay to just be like, I went to that thing, i had a couple of weird combos, but I met this really cool person I'm going to follow up with and I'm glad to know them. Great. That was worth it.
00:28:58
Speaker
yeah I don't know. What are your thoughts on that? Or do you have different perspective? I have a similar perspective. Even professionals, tenured professionals still don't recognize we've got to play the long game
Long-term Networking Relationships
00:29:07
Speaker
here. And yeah actually chapter eight in my book is play the long game because getting back to that example with my friend Carolyn,
00:29:13
Speaker
I just loved working with her. We really appreciated working together on the agency side. There's so many people and maybe it's i'm getting older and my gray hair likes to remind me of that as well. But... people from my very first job, second job, were still in contact with each other. I had a client of mine from GSK, Amy, who was a runner, I was a runner in college. So we were like, yeah, like when we get together in Philly, let's go run.
00:29:37
Speaker
I didn't think she was serious and I brought my running stuff and I was like, she's really not serious. But she was my client at the time. And I said, okay, I felt nervous to not say yes. But we ended up running, it was December, it was right around this time, actually it was December 4th. I'll always remember it because it was freezing cold, Kelly Drive.
00:29:51
Speaker
at night. And I'm thinking, okay, God forbid if something happens, like I'll probably have to protect her because she's short. And I've told her this story so many times, but we ended up going into a bar during the run. It was like the Teamsters Christmas party. And so it was all these men and it was us in sweaty clothes. And I'm thinking, what the hell is going on here? I thought it was such a crazy story. And she and I are still friends today. i talked about that story and i'm like, I thought you were crazy. Now you're somebody who I absolutely love and love to stay in contact with.
00:30:17
Speaker
She's since moved on from that company. I've since moved on from agency. So If you're playing the long game and you're really focusing on that shared connection and again, value. If she called today, I need something, or do you, can you recommend somebody for this? Or what do you know for that? I would be the first person to respond. Absolutely. What can I do to help you? Because we've invested time with each other, running drinks, you name it. And that was fun to actually run back together.
00:30:43
Speaker
From that after the drink with the teamsters Christmas party, we had about another half a mile to go. And I tell everybody that was the best half a mile run in my life. Cause I was yeah up and I'm feeling good, but, but yeah, but I mean, it we have to resist this urgency culture in so many ways, even beyond networking. But I really do feel it's an investment. It's like going to the gym, especially in my case, I'm not a big treadmill person. I'd love running outside. So for two degrees out, I'm already thinking, oh God, I'm going to have to go on the treadmill today. But I can't expect to become a better runner or stronger um in terms of weightlifting and all that without investing the time.
00:31:22
Speaker
and these things take time. You've got to be consistent. You've got to just show up. And so I always encourage folks to just don't worry about the quote unquote payoff, just focusing on where you can show up for people. And like you said, where does it feel right?
00:31:36
Speaker
It's not always going to feel right. Sure, I still get people who I give a lot for. And you can tell the ones that are like, all right, this person has no thought about me or how they can help support me. They've never asked. They're just, wow, we could see that you're, have a lot of affiliations and we can leverage that for our benefit. So you can never completely shy away from that. And i do have a chapter in the book, Networking is Not Dot, that kind of talks a little bit about some of those pitfalls and what to watch out for.
00:32:01
Speaker
But in general, if your intention is to show up in mutually supportive relationships, I think it's going to be a lot more of a comfortable situation feel good energy giving, not energy draining situation with networking.
00:32:15
Speaker
Yeah, totally. i agree with everything I can. I'm really excited to check out your book. And for folks who want to buy it, so we want to get some links, show notes, so that people can do it. Where should we send them?
Book Details and Networking Encouragement
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah, so I have a website. It's called redefiningnetworkingbook.com. So that site not only has links to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, but it also has early reader reviews. So you can see what folks are saying about the book, a graphic that talks about that three-step process a little bit. And yeah, it's probably through the holiday season going to continue to be on sale through some sites, including the publisher Rutledge.com as well.
00:32:59
Speaker
All right, cool. We will get those in there. And so anyone listening who's going to to pick up Monique's book, just scroll down. And if people want to follow you or reach out to you, where can they get in touch with you?
00:33:09
Speaker
Yeah, on LinkedIn, just type me in. You type Monique Kelly, then you'll see there's little book graphic that comes up. So any my students are like, wait, is this you? I'm like, that's me, the multi-hyphenate. So I do 50 things. Don't be intimidated by that. And you'll see my AI headshot with blonde hair and be like, is that her? That is me. AI likes to put in my balayage. So yeah, that's where you can follow me on LinkedIn. And certainly on the book, there's a little icon for my LinkedIn, that book website, as well as how to contact me for more information or for speaking opportunities on networking.
00:33:40
Speaker
Amazing. Monique, it was so great to get to talk to you. Is there anything we didn't cover that you feel like you wanted to say before we wrap? I really do feel for everyone who right now is just trying to hold on day to day. I've been talking so much now recently to former coworkers. I actually helped four former bosses of mine this year try to connect with hiring managers. I get that for a lot of us, it's like working out and other things where, yes, we we know what we should do, but sometimes we find ourselves in a position where we just don't know where to start. And I would say, it's okay.
00:34:15
Speaker
Start where you are but do look at networking in a way that is... not daunting, that you can start to do at least with people who you know and people who know you and want to support you and will follow up with you. So I think really the takeaway is it's not that you should never go out to strangers, but that you've already built a great network and hopefully a support system with former coworkers, agency partners, clients, et cetera, that want to help you.
00:34:47
Speaker
And even if it's a hard time, really lean into that and be vulnerable with them because, you know, there are people out there that want to help you back. Yeah. All right. appreciate all of that. Thank you so much. And it was such a pleasure to talk to you.
00:35:01
Speaker
Same, Meredith. Thank you.