Transcript
Jennifer Gulizia: Hi, flower friends, and welcome back to the Backyard Bouquet podcast. Today's guest is someone who embodies the beauty that happens when flowers and creativity come together.
Valerie: Thank
Jennifer Gulizia: Today, I'm joined by Valerie Miller, who, along with her family, runs Steel Cow Lavender Farm. Their farm is nestled in the heart of Iowa and is home to rows of fragrant lavender, but is also so much more than that.
Jennifer Gulizia: It's a place where nature and artistry intersect. a space that inspires both farming and painting. Valerie is a gifted painter whose work captures the richness of rural landscapes, flowers, and everyday beauty.
Jennifer Gulizia: Her art is bold, colorful, and deeply tied to the rhythms of nature. Over the years, her paintings have resonated with people far beyond her farm, creating a connection between what she grows in the soil and what she brings to life on canvas.
Jennifer Gulizia: She's also the founder of Art Garden Therapy, a monthly painting membership that welcomes people of all skill levels into the practice of creativity. In her community, Valerie encourages members to slow down, pick up a brush, and experience the healing joy of painting.
Jennifer Gulizia: It's not always about being perfect. It's about finding restoration and connection through art the same way many of us find it in the garden. What I love about Valerie's story is how she brings together so many worlds,
Jennifer Gulizia: family, farming, flowers, art, and community. She shows us that creativity and nature go hand in hand. I can't wait for you to hear her journey and the beautiful ways she's helping others discover their own creativity.
Jennifer Gulizia: Valerie, welcome to the podcast.
Valerie: and thank you so much for having me, Jennifer. It is an absolute joy to be able to join you today.
Jennifer Gulizia: It is so fun. i was thinking back and I was like, gosh, when did I first connect with Valerie? And because we moved shortly after I purchased this, I had to dig through because i haven't had a chance to frame it yet.
Jennifer Gulizia: But for those of you who are listening today on YouTube,
Valerie: right
Jennifer Gulizia: I found Valerie about a year and a half ago, i think it was on Facebook because she makes these beautiful paintings of dahlias and peonies.
Jennifer Gulizia: This one here that I'm holding up, you'll have to tune into YouTube so you can see this is Pastel Elegance, which is my favorite peony. So I can't wait to hang this when we get down to the farm.
Valerie: Yes. Yeah, that's so fun. And I think I also reached out to you about that same time because I saw that you were starting a membership as well. And so I just, I didn't have any experience with anyone else having a membership. And so I wanted to talk to a real person who was starting at the same level that I was, which was amazing.
Jennifer Gulizia: Yes, I think I started the Dahlia patch community right around the same time you started the art garden therapy, which has been so fun to watch you grow it.
Valerie: thing
Jennifer Gulizia: And you've also come on the Dahlia patch and you did a paint party with us, which was so much fun.
Valerie: Yeah, that was really fun. I love being a place that invites people to do things that they don't know that they're even capable of.
Valerie: Because so many times we think that creativity is reserved for the little kids or even for the medium kids and it's not it's for us adults too and I feel like at least for me I was born to create and I think everyone was in some way shape or form and it's not as hard as you think and there are so many different ways to use that creativity to just make your life so much better and flowers definitely fit that bill as well but painting's not as hard as what you would think it would be there are different levels but to get something really good really quickly anyone can do it which is fun
Jennifer Gulizia: I love what you said that you were born to create. I think we all have that creativity in us and it's finding what it is that sparks that joy.
Valerie: Sure.
Jennifer Gulizia: So let's go back to the beginning real fast. Can you tell our listeners, because I'm sure many of them are just now hearing about you for the first time, tell us about how Steel Cow Lavender Farm started and your journey into painting.
Valerie: sure
Valerie: Absolutely. So I just knew, like I knew, like I knew, like I knew that I was going to be an artist ever since I was teeny tiny. My mom told me that she could, that I could be anything in the entire world that I wanted to be. There were no limits.
Valerie: And she always wanted to be an artist, but her parents told her that she had to do something practical And so she became a nurse, but she always loved to create things and start new projects and do all sorts of different things. And so, you know, being, growing up with your mom, she told me I could do whatever I wanted. And so I said, I just want to be a painter. And I didn't, I don't even think I thought about it, but this was when I was like five.
Valerie: I mean, every kid wants to be some sort of something when they're five, like the world is just, there are no doors or ceilings when you're that age. which is something that I love. And so i grew up always knowing that that was going to be what I was going to do. Like there just wasn't any question. There was no amount of anything that was going to happen other than I was going to be a painter.
Valerie: And so for my birthdays, for Christmas, my mom always got me art supplies. I went to college for art, for painting. Along the way, high school chemistry teacher, physics teacher, my college teacher,
Valerie: calculus teacher, all of them brought me into their offices and had very stern lectures with me about how I was really good at math or science and I should go be an engineer or I wanted or I should be an architect or something, you know, something practical. And I didn't listen to any of them because no one knows yourself better than you.
Valerie: And so I went to school for college, for art, and met my husband, Josh, the very first week of school, which was amazing.
Jennifer Gulizia: No way.
Valerie: Yes, yeah. And I actually... like I'm kind of woo-woo a little bit. I think I called him in because I'm very shy by nature. Not really anymore, but initially I started out so like painfully shy.
Valerie: And I looked in the mirror the very morning I met Josh at like 7 in the morning before I went off to do my classes. And I said, you are going to meet someone today. And that's just all there is.
Valerie: And so I went about my day and I didn't, I hadn't met anyone, but his him and his roommate were playing frisbee outside of the dorm room. And whenever a cute girl would walk by, they would throw the frisbee into the parking lot and whoever fetched, then they would try to strike up a conversation with her, right? So they were fishing and i basically fetched and I started talking to my husband And about two hours later, the roommate got upset, kind of stormed off to his bedroom. And then I realized that I had a lot of art classes but with Josh, which was kind of fun. But then we were together really nonstop from that point. I wouldn't actually ah ah officially start dating him.
Valerie: for two months because I was on the golf team and i was very stripped at that point with myself and grades. I'm much more fun now. And so I just didn't have time to date him. But once we started dating, we've been together since that moment. And he's also a huge part of what we do because he basically can do everything and anything. i don't even understand it, but I will definitely accept the gift.
Valerie: So we went to college. We graduated. This is getting to be longer, so I'll button it up here pretty quick. But I and him, me and him, we were going to actually go out east.
Valerie: He was going to be an architect, and he was going go RISD. And right before he was scheduled to go to RISD, we decided we didn't want to do more schooling, and we just wanted to jump in.
Valerie: So we moved back to my hometown, a teeny, tiny town in Walkon, Iowa, in the very northeast corner of Iowa. and we opened an art gallery and it was called Steel Cow because I love cows, completely obsessed with cows. Before I started painting flowers, I painted cows exclusively for 15 years.
Valerie: And then what happened is josh built furniture. so Steel, he put a lot of steel in his furniture. Steel was him, cow was me, so steel cow.
Valerie: Everything was going great. you know Fast forward 15 years, we had a wonderful business, still do, online selling artwork. And then what happened is we had our third boy.
Valerie: And i love children, but three was more than I could handle. And I i don't know if I was officially in a depression, but I was going downhill fast. And it really happened the winter of 2019, 2020. And we had just moved from above our our store, and it was a family building. So it still is. Steel Cow is downtown in Waukonen.
Valerie: which is a mile away from our farm. It's three stories plus a full basement, 12,000 square feet. And we lived upstairs.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh, wow.
Valerie: I know, it's it's beautiful. And my grandfather's grandfather built it as a furniture store and funeral home in the 20s. And we spent years of our lives completely redoing it.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh my goodness.
Valerie: So we've got the beautiful tent ceilings, wooden floors, plaster walls, everything. But with that third kid, we just needed space, so much space.
Valerie: So we my parents were moving to the country and the house and land that I grew up in on was for sale. And so we bought the the house that I grew up in along with 12 acres. And so that's how we landed on our property.
Valerie: And at the time, I just, I was really, I've got this constant narrative that goes in my head all the time. And when the kids were always around and I was trying to homeschool, which now I realize was an epic disaster. And then COVID came and we couldn't do anything and I couldn't have babysitters and everything was just really not great.
Valerie: We knew we were going to do a lavender farm, but I bought a whole bunch of books. And of course, I'm one of the, mel I would say millions probably of women that are,
Valerie: following Erin Benzikine. So I didn't know who she was before, but I bought this book and I was like, whoa, and my eyes completely opened up. And I had no idea that local flowers could be as amazing and so beautiful as they were.
Valerie: And so I said, well, maybe we should just start growing some flowers while we wait for the infrastructure for our lavender farm to be built because we were starting from scratch.
Valerie: And Josh just said, that's an excellent idea. And so we just dove right in. We weren't really even planning on it. And what helped is immediately everything helped and getting their hands in the soil and having the kids be outside in the dirt. And then when everyone was fighting about everything online and in person about COVID, I just ignored all of the that.
Valerie: And since we already had our business set up to sell things online, i didn't really have to. And so we just grew flowers. And it was amazing. And then we had a self-serve flower cart outside of our business that wasn't open during COVID. And members of the community would come and buy flowers. And it just was a really great feeling to provide flowers for the community.
Valerie: Because obviously, as you know, flowers are so much more than flowers. And so that was wonderful and amazing. but then the next Winter was fine and the winter wasn't nearly as hard as it was the year before.
Valerie: But then in April of 2021, we had a fire in our building and one of my big printers almost burnt the whole entire place down, which it didn't thankfully.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh my gosh.
Valerie: But it we even had on our third floor in the drawers where the bathroom is, we had a thick layer of black smoke. So everything had to be redone. It was crazy.
Valerie: And there was so much work that I couldn't help And so I just ran to the flowers along with the kids and I let Josh do all the stresses of the fire cleanup and I just let him do that.
Valerie: And so I, they really saved my mental sanity three times because we were back to normal in December of 2021. And then in February of 2022, the neighbor for our building downtown, two doors down from us, burnt her or started her building on fire.
Valerie: And yeah, and so what happened was the flames didn't get to our building, but we had so much smoke damage again.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh my gosh.
Valerie: And the two buildings then directly to the south of us had to be completely torn down. And the town of Waukon used every single drop of water in our entire town, putting that fire out.
Valerie: School was canceled the next day because you go to the faucet nothing came out. And what basically happened is we had to redo the most challenging, and most difficult year of our lives over.
Valerie: And again, the flowers, like we already had that started. I'm getting goosebumps because they're so powerful. Like they mean so much to my personal life because they just,
Valerie: They just were wonderful. And I didn't, this time I didn't fall into a depression and I wasn't, of course I was a little mad, but I was like, I didn't let any of that get into my body, especially when someone caused the fire.
Valerie: I didn't, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't like against us or anything. And so I just grew flowers. And then, listened to podcasts.
Valerie: And so all of you lovely ladies that are out there men too, teaching other people what tricks you have to get through this challenging thing that we call life is so important.
Valerie: And you weren't doing your podcast at the time, so I wasn't listening to you, but I really did listen to Charlotte Smith a lot. And there was a couple podcasts that she had. One was about anxiety.
Valerie: And how don't fight it, just let it wash over you. And in about 90 seconds, that feeling will be passed. And so I don't know how many times I just collapsed in the rows of flowers and just let that anxiety go over me.
Valerie: And then I popped back up and then I continued on with whatever work I had to be doing. at the time And then the other thing that she said that was so powerful to me was that when something happens, it's a neutral thing. It just happens. And it's up to us to put an emotional attachment onto that.
Valerie: And so I just, I seriously clung to that after our second fire process. And so it was just something that happened and it was just something that we had to get through. And that was a really weird time in my life. And I'm sorry I've gone on about it so much, but it's like, that's the basis for the flowers. And there's, they are so powerful and they're so beautiful.
Valerie: And then it's taken us a couple of years to kind of get back, get our feet back underneath of us. because after that second fire, we didn't even know if our building was gonna be having to be torn down for a year and a half.
Valerie: We didn't know if it was structurally sound.
Jennifer Gulizia: wow
Valerie: So there's so much uncertainty there. But I started, we got back to normal, essentially, you know, what is normal, right? And then I started, I realized that I was doing too many things but between painting the cows, the running steel cow,
Valerie: and trying to get the lavender farm off the ground, plus providing fresh flowers. Plus, I was really feeling the urge to paint the flowers. So I grow flowers now for myself and for art models, and I've stopped providing them for the community just because I couldn't, it was it was too much, you guys and me, but the selling it and and moving the flowers from one place to the other and actually getting them into the hands of the people that enjoy them is a whole other step, which you guys obviously obviously know. But now as of last March, I think is when I first started painting my flowers,
Valerie: and And I'm still very much in the honeymoon period of that, and it's very exciting for me.
Jennifer Gulizia: Wow, that is quite a story.
Valerie: It's a story, right?
Jennifer Gulizia: Thank you for sharing all of that. um I love it. I want to, there's so much to unpack here and I want to try and go back. I was trying to write down some notes to ask you about specifics.
Valerie: most people, when I tell them the whole story, their eyes just glaze over because it's like, this is too much information.
Jennifer Gulizia: it
Jennifer Gulizia: No, it's great. we lost our growing space at the end of 2023, One of the first books I read was The Gap and the Gain.
Valerie: Yes.
Jennifer Gulizia: And one of the things that talked about is that life only makes sense when you look back.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And so I love that your whole story ties together.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And so I want to kind of break down each section. I want to go back to your five-year-old self.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: what a gift that your mom told you that you could be anything you wanted because so many people have these ideas and I forget who I was listening to.
Valerie: Yes.
Jennifer Gulizia: i was listening to a podcast while i was harvesting the other day. it was probably Mel Robbins.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And the guest said, so many of us, if we truly listen to our intuition as a child, we know what gifts were given to us.
Valerie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And if we follow them and don't let the outside voices steer us otherwise, we will follow our true path.
Valerie: sir
Jennifer Gulizia: And i feel like that's exactly what happened for you. You wanted to be an artist. And you you said what you wanted to do and people didn't say, oh, you can't do that. It was more, how can we help you do this? And you were able to follow this beautiful path.
Jennifer Gulizia: Did your mom, I mean, you said she bought art supplies. Did you take art classes as a kid or how did how did she encourage you?
Valerie: Yes.
Valerie: So I.
Jennifer Gulizia: Because I think a lot of people on the podcast are parents also.
Valerie: Mm
Valerie: hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And I think about this a lot. Like if my daughter has an idea of something she wants to do, How as parents, can we nurture them just like we're nurturing our seedlings? So how are you nurtured?
Valerie: Right. So I really was nurtured really well. Thank you, mom. I definitely appreciate it. But I didn't take any art classes beyond what was just offered in school, but I did belong to a North White book club, which probably isn't even out there anymore. I don't know.
Valerie: And it was one of those things like the CD clubs or the record clubs. I don't know if you You were part of those when you were younger. i don't know how old you are, but it was a book club.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh, yes.
Valerie: And so you would get like 30 books when you first signed up. And then as long as you stayed a member, you got a new book every month. Of course, your parents had to pay for it, but I did that.
Valerie: And so, because I very quickly, because we live in a small town, like I mentioned, I very quickly went through all of the library books about art in our library. So we had to buy them.
Valerie: and lots of just instructional books on how to paint. and i And I did that. And I listened and I watched Bob Ross. And although my dad doesn't paint, he would paint downstairs in our basement to Bob Ross with me.
Valerie: When I was in high school, like every Friday night, I was a bit of a dork. I don't think I was terribly socially awkward, but I just had this burning desire to create. And my parents really did help. But I feel like it came in that from the inside. and it just And then my dad, he said that his grandpa would always say, figure out what you want to do in life. That's the hardest part.
Valerie: And then as long as you stay on that, the rest will just kind of fall into place. But that also is something that definitely helped. But yeah, if your kids are interested in something, let them go for it. But don't push.
Valerie: So many kids push, or so many parents push their kids on things because the parents want to do it. But your kids know what they want to do. And it's hard because I've got three boys, 13, 10, and 7, and and seven And right now, all they want to do is video games.
Valerie: And I don't let them. And I think all kids right now are kind of in that spot. But really, from being bored, that's when your mind is really open. And you can really take the time to figure out what it is that you would like to do. But just try a whole bunch of different things.
Valerie: And I don't think you need to be good at a ton of stuff. I think if you really have something that you really love, I think you should really pursue that instead of trying to be a rounded person.
Jennifer Gulizia: Absolutely. i remember I used to always think, oh, it's going to be so fun to garden in with my daughter and she's going to love it just like me. And she wants nothing to do with the flowers right now. And there's times where she has to come with me because of her age, but she loves to write and she's a really good writer.
Jennifer Gulizia: And writing is not my thing.
Valerie: That's amazing.
Jennifer Gulizia: Like I'm, I've been practicing and trying to get better at it with like my newsletters that go out to my followers and things like that.
Valerie: Sure.
Jennifer Gulizia: But she, she will spend hours writing. And it's like, how can we nurture that? And and it's so much like our gardens, like you if you nurture something, it will grow.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And so I just love, love that your family gave you that opportunity and how it has truly blossomed throughout your life.
Valerie: Right. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Valerie: see
Jennifer Gulizia: I also, I had no idea that Josh was part of the artistic background. Also, and the fact we hear so much these days about how we can manifest what we want.
Valerie: here
Jennifer Gulizia: And I think it comes from being clear. Like you've always been so clear about what you wanted in your life. And so for you to be like, I'm going to meet someone today.
Valerie: I know that was so weird.
Jennifer Gulizia: You just put it out there.
Valerie: I did. And I didn't even know what manifesting was. i just like, I just knew that if I continued on the path that I was, i would not get as much out of college as I needed to, or as I wanted to, or what was out there in front of me, because I just, I i don't, well, I do now because I love it, but I used to not spark up any conversation with anyone that I didn't know.
Jennifer Gulizia: Well, it kind of goes back to what you said later on in your story about how everything that happens is a neutral event, but you get to choose how you respond. And so like you caught a Frisbee.
Jennifer Gulizia: And you chose to engage in a conversation that has totally changed your whole life. So I just love those reminders. I mean, whether someone's wanting to grow their farm or maybe try growing flowers or some of our listeners are just backyard gardeners and this is a hobby for them versus their profession.
Valerie: and so Right.
Jennifer Gulizia: So it could be anything they're wanting to do, but just when an opportunity presents itself, you get to choose if you want to take it or not. And I love that.
Jennifer Gulizia: Also, the amount of resilience you have been through. Talking about losing possessions and hopes and dreams to two different fires, not just one, but two, and how the garden has saved you.
Valerie: Right? Yeah.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: i think that's so relatable for so many of us is just that time where you can put your hands in the soil.
Valerie: Yes, absolutely.
Jennifer Gulizia: wanna kind of talk a little bit about that You've spent a lot of time healing by putting your hands in the soil. How has that influenced your creative life as a painter?
Valerie: So I think the main thing is I realized that I do have this need to create. And honestly, if I'm not creating, I am terrible. Like, I don't want to swear in here, but I'm awful. Like, I'm a very mean, terrible, awful, selfish person. And I lash out at people.
Valerie: And i realized through, cause I kind of took a break from painting because it got to where, so painting was like my space where I can let my mind wander. And I think it's meditative in some aspects, in a lot of aspects, maybe in all aspects.
Valerie: But I was trying to paint with the kids all around and I got to the point in 2020 where and late 2019 where it was painful to paint every time I brought my paints out and the kids were like crawling around on the floor behind me I had terrible sinus pressure in my ears and my head and it like filled up instantly and it felt like a sinus infection and I asked my sister who is an ear doctor in Florida.
Valerie: said, what is going on? And she said, oh, that's situational anxiety. She said, does it happen if you're painting without the kids?
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh.
Valerie: Yeah, situational anxiety. And I'm like, well, I don't know. Lately, I haven't been painting without the kids because I don't have anywhere to put them. Like, they're here all the time. And so I went out in the yard or something and I grabbed my paints and it didn't happen.
Valerie: so I needed, think needed to retrain my mind that painting wasn't dangerous because it became so stressful when I was trying to create something pretty and really trying to get in the state. And then the kids are in their boy, little boy energy with Legos and hitting each other and dinosaurs and ah all of that great, wonderful stuff, but I still don't understand And,
Valerie: and So i I took a break from painting, because she's like, I think you have to stop for a little bit so this doesn't get into your permanent head. And you're like, just because obviously that would be terrible to not be able to paint anymore.
Valerie: And so when I was gardening and when I was growing things, and then when I was picking the flowers and putting them together into beautiful arrangements, that actually satisfied my need to create.
Valerie: And so that shocked me because I thought it was painting in general. thought it it had to be painting, but it I don't think it is. i think painting is just what I choose to do with that need that I have, but I think it's just creating in general. And so the fact that gardening filled that need for about two years while I wasn't painting, like it was crazy.
Valerie: And then I was listening to another book recently, just this summer, And I don't know if it was The Gap and the Gain or if it was another one by Dan Sullivan, but they were talking about how when you decide, maybe it was 10 times as great, or it's easier than two times.
Valerie: Maybe that was the book that I was listening to.
Jennifer Gulizia: That's a fantastic book.
Valerie: It And I've listened to it eight times this summer. And they were talking about, yeah, I'm like, I got to get this in.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh, wow.
Valerie: I've got to get this in because it really, there's a lot of good stuff in there. And they were talking about when you figure out what your like exceptional gift is
Jennifer Gulizia: Mm-hmm.
Valerie: be be wary of having it tied to something specific because then if you can't do that something specific like painting or something like that, then your whole life is gonna fall apart because that is your identity.
Valerie: Where if it's just like creative, I mean specifically, You can frame it so that it's, love to create, you know, and put something together on a two-dimensional surface or whatever that happens to be.
Valerie: And so I didn't realize it at the time, but I was experiencing that exact thing. And it was just, it was really cool.
Jennifer Gulizia: I love that. So at what point were you drawn back to the painting then? Because your paintings reflect your garden, correct?
Valerie: Right. Okay. So for the first little bit, so I've always painted animals because that's just, I just love animals, right? And so I painted animals and I had a camera and i always used it on the auto setting and it was a good camera.
Valerie: And so the auto pictures kind of got what I wanted, but if I took maybe a thousand pictures, I'd get one that I liked. And so that was really no way to use the camera to get what you wanted because as I had kids and I found my time was more and more valuable and I had less time to actually grab what I needed, and needed to learn how to actually use this camera that I had.
Valerie: So I took an online photography class and I took photography classes in college. I just must not have paid attention. i don't know. And I learned how to manipulate my camera to do exactly what I wanted it to do, which is really exciting.
Valerie: And so I started taking photos of all of these flowers in an artistic way because they're so the beauty is so fleeting and it's, It's amazing because it's like a concert that they give us when they're blooming for such a short period of time, but then they're gone. And i as a painting background, like I want things to last for a long time.
Valerie: And so I took so many photos and put together a collection of art photography photos, but I had a really hard time selling them.
Jennifer Gulizia: Aha.
Valerie: Like I hardly ever sold them. And then I struggled with it in my head for about a year. What do I do? Because I don't want to waste my time. And I'm literally taking photos while my kids are not eating because I'm so absorbed with this. I'm not taking care of them anymore.
Valerie: mean, it wasn't that bad, but that's when my husband started making dinner. And then it was Josh that said, I think you you're a painter. I think you need to start painting these flowers. And I kind of dug my heels in for a while. And then last winter, March, February, whenever it was exactly, I decided to paint either pinnies or dahlias to start with. I can't remember what it was.
Valerie: And, and then just put them out there. And i have a much easier time selling prints of my paintings of the flowers. And I actually really like it when I didn't think I would. I thought that it would take forever painting the flowers, but because I'm not nitpicking about where the fur is going to go or where the eye is going to go or how the eye is going to look like an animal, I can paint much freer and much faster.
Valerie: And maybe it's because when I first started painting the flowers, I told myself, You have to do it quickly. Like this has to be something free and exciting. it can't be so like bogged down with the details, which is sometimes what I do with the animals.
Valerie: So it kind of was, kind of boiled down to, um, to, um, where you spend your time. And I was spending so much of my time doing things that produced zero economic sense that I had to start getting something out of out of the time I was spending on it. And I know how to make a living by being a painter. So I started painting them and and it was the right choice.
Valerie: And now I love it. yeah.
Jennifer Gulizia: That's amazing. I love that Josh recognized before you did that you needed to go back to the painting and he encouraged you.
Valerie: Yes. You know what else Josh has recognized? I could have ADHD and I could be dyslexic. And he said he's known that for years. And I'm just now realizing that, oh, this could actually be the case. And I haven't fully accepted that yet. But yeah, he's like, I don't know, he can see me from the outside and kind of guide me the right ways. Cause I do sometimes go off track a little bit.
Valerie: But it's nice. It's nice to have a partner that sees you for who you are and then can come outside of you. Because when you get so wrapped in what you're doing, it's hard to get an outside perspective.
Jennifer Gulizia: Absolutely. i think I told my husband either a year or two ago, I was like, I think I'm probably ADHD. Or I was like, I wonder if I should get diagnosed. Like I'm all over the board.
Jennifer Gulizia: He's like, you've always been this way. And he's like, of course you have it. And I'm like, wait, what? Like, I've never even thought about this until I listened to a podcast that was talking about like signs of ADHD symptoms in women.
Valerie: I know.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And I'm going, oh, I've got all of those symptoms. And he's like, well, yeah, but but I love that about you. It's okay. It's part of who you are. And I'm just like, wow, I can't believe that I never saw this.
Jennifer Gulizia: So it's nice when that you have someone, whether it's a partner or a friend or a mentor or a coach, someone that can see that side of you and give you that encouragement to be like, this is part of who you are and now let's embrace it.
Valerie: No.
Valerie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Valerie: so
Valerie: Right. Yeah, it's it's wild. And also wild what labels do to people because I feel like i had I probably would have acted differently had I known that about me.
Valerie: I don't know.
Jennifer Gulizia: Right.
Valerie: Because you can use labels as like excuses.
Jennifer Gulizia: Yes. You'd be like, oh, I can't do this because I have this or or you can change it and use it for a gift.
Valerie: Exactly.
Valerie: Right.
Jennifer Gulizia: And you have put it to all of this use of having your garden.
Valerie: Yeah. Yeah.
Jennifer Gulizia: And it I think it lets you jump from things to things and be...
Valerie: and so
Jennifer Gulizia: I don't know, perhaps it makes us a little more resilient, like how you've bounced back from these fires and you've been able to find something else to dive into. that's i no I'm no doctor, I'm no therapist.
Valerie: one
Jennifer Gulizia: That's just my personal.
Valerie: I know. Yeah. Yeah. It's all, it's interesting. Life is amazing and very confusing all at the same time.
Jennifer Gulizia: ah ah So much so. and But I love that you've found something like You hear so much these days and I think it's it's more of a new, not new, but it's more acceptable for moms or adults to have time for self-care instead of always pouring into everyone else.
Valerie: Yes.
Jennifer Gulizia: And I feel like the flowers kind of became that self-care.
Valerie: the
Jennifer Gulizia: First it was the flowers, almost you stepped away from the painting and you let the flowers become your self-care.
Valerie: here
Jennifer Gulizia: Would you say that the painting is your self-care
Valerie: Yeah.
Jennifer Gulizia: now
Valerie: 1000%. And it was my self-care my entire life. It was how I coped with the world. Like that's how I make sense of the world is is by painting. And then, yeah it just became too hard with the children. And I should have just put boundaries in place. I mean, that's easy.
Valerie: Have my husband take the kids for a couple of hours twice a week and in the evenings and then put them to bed and I could have painted all through the night and I would have been fine.
Valerie: But i also think sometimes when things go really bad, that's when good things happen.
Jennifer Gulizia: Right.
Valerie: And so I think I was meant to b almost depressed by having kids because otherwise I don't know if the flowers would have actually come into my life. And they were so helpful with the fires.
Valerie: So i don't know how to put things into words a lot, but ah ah really do things based on how I feel and what I feel like I'm pulled towards. And it's not even almost like what I'm pulled towards, but what i like what I'm just miserable if I'm not doing it, then I i run away from that.
Valerie: So I think we do know more about ourselves than we actually realize. And if we can listen to some of these things that are in us that are really hard to explain to anyone else, we'll be much better off for it.
Jennifer Gulizia: That's beautiful advice. I'm curious, how does someone learning to listen to themselves? And I know you're not an expert on this, but like, is there anything that you feel like looking back has maybe helped you or if you could do it differently, knowing what you know now, like how would you allow yourself to do that?
Valerie: I don't know. i don't know.
Valerie: Right. So I think it's like for me, when I'm up in the middle of the night at like two or three and I can't sleep, and that's the thing I'm thinking about, that that's definitely something that you can listen to.
Valerie: And then I also, I'm not super religious, but I am a little bit.
Jennifer Gulizia: Uh-huh.
Valerie: And I say prayers to St. Anthony because he's the patron saint. that helps you find things. And so I'll say prayers to St. Anthony for him to help me find stuff. And I don't limit it to physical things. I'll be like, even before this today, i said, please, in my head, I said, please St. Anthony, help me show up with a heart to serve and the right words so that I am able to do what I need to do today for whatever that reason happens to be.
Valerie: And so sometimes if you ask those questions and then you just sit on them, the answers will kind of appear. But I know that's not hard and fast answer.
Valerie: It's just very, like, I don't know. I can't explain it.
Jennifer Gulizia: Sure. I think we all have to find what works for us. When we lost our growing space, I hired a coach.
Valerie: Yes.
Jennifer Gulizia: And one of the things she encouraged me to do was to spend at least five minutes a day just sitting and meditating and trying to visualize what I wanted my future to look like because the possibilities were wide open all of a sudden.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Valerie: Mm-hmm.
Valerie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Gulizia: And i think that gave me the clarity of just having a few minutes to clear my head each day. And I notice a difference if I don't take those five minutes of quiet time a day, my brain is just more scattered.
Valerie: said
Jennifer Gulizia: I don't process as well. And I know for me, like being out in the flowers is very grounding and calming, but I still need those five minutes, whether I sit on the bench before I go harvest the flowers or wake up in the morning and spend those five minutes of quiet time.
Jennifer Gulizia: It really makes a difference.
Valerie: It does. And I feel like for me painting, i think I get like hours of like quiet time when I'm painting. And I think that's really helpful because my mind does go kind of quiet.
Valerie: Not all the time. There different parts in that. But I think that in our modern society, we are so scheduled and we are so jumping from thing to thing to thing to thing. And I don't think that's how we're meant to be.
Valerie: And so in those quiet moments, that's when you can really figure out what it is that you need to do or what the next best steps are for you. And I'm really scared for our kids, especially mine, because I need them to be bored because otherwise they're not going to find their thing.
Valerie: and they don't want to be bored because there's always electronics right there with them. And now they've transferred from the montes the local Montessori school to the public school, which they love.
Jennifer Gulizia: Right.
Valerie: It's it's amazing. It's so great to be for them to have so many friends and to be part of a community. But to the devices are everywhere. And that's how they get their... schooling.
Valerie: It's just, I really can't go down that path, but I'm scared for people and their creativeness and for the space that they need to figure out what makes them be happy in life because we're so distracted by devices.
Jennifer Gulizia: Well, I think that's what's so neat about your community. So let's segue into talking about how did you transition from painting to deciding you were going to launch a membership to help other people paint?
Valerie: Right. So that's not something that i thought that I would do because I will say, and I don't mean to be, but I think I am selfish and i and love to share my paintings and I love to paint, but that's like a selfish thing. Like it's all very, like my my parents, my dad was a funeral director for years and years and years as was his whole entire family before him.
Valerie: My mom's a nurse. And so i didn't want to help people that way at all. Like that's just not for me. And I just wanted to paint be happy, which seems really selfish. But then after going through what I went through, realized from taking all that time in the garden and listening to podcasts that the reason i paint is to make sense out of the world.
Valerie: And painting is just an incredible gift. All creative things are. So is gardening. It's just this happens to be this path. It's such an amazing gift to be able to like a coping mechanism to get through life.
Valerie: And so I really went in my head, like, why do I paint? Why do I feel miserable when I'm not painting? Why does painting make everything better? and is there any way that I can share this?
Valerie: Because I feel like this is so powerful and people know it, but there's not a whole lot of people, at least that I've heard. I'm sure there is. I probably just am not in the right circles. There's not a whole lot of people talking about it mainstream,
Valerie: why it is so important and how powerful it can be to help you go through some of these situations and it might just be a pause an hour pause so then i got thinking i don't know how to do this so i would go on walks around my property 12 miles, oh my gosh, I wish, 12 acres, and we've got like a fire break mowed around 12 acres, and I would just walk, and I would put it out there to sing, Anthony, please help me find a way that I can package all of this up to help people, and then help myself, of course, too, because i
Valerie: I mean, the gift, when you give someone a gift, really is most valuable to you, right? And I was needing some pick-me-up stuff too. And so I thought it was going to be a book.
Valerie: But then for whatever reason, the membership came into whatever I was listening to podcast. And I thought, oh, this is what it's going to be. This is going to be an amazing membership.
Valerie: teaching people how to use painting as stress relief. But then I was a little scared because I didn't know, like all of my paintings take a very long time to paint, like weeks.
Valerie: Maybe I'll get one done in a week, but that's a fast one, like of working on it like a regular working day. And normal people can't give that amount of time out for painting. So then I was like, well, I don't even know if I can paint the flowers and the garden in a quick way. And then I just started i I waited on it so long. I'm like, I have to do it. And so my kids were gone with daddy biking or something in Arizona. And I just grabbed some paints and grabbed some photos that I liked that I had grabbed from my flowers.
Valerie: And I just started painting these paintings. And I think this might've been the first one that I did. And it came together in an hour, And I had no idea that I could paint landscapes to start with, but that it could come together so quickly. And then it was like, okay, well this is, I'm getting goosebumps.
Valerie: It's like, now this is what it is. So here's lavender. This is the one that we painted in the Dahlia patch.
Valerie: And there, sorry.
Jennifer Gulizia: So if someone's listening right now, can you say what their paintings are as you're showing them so that people and visualize also or try to know?
Valerie: Yeah, I will. Okay. Yep. No, I'm doing what I should not do because I'm such a visual person. I just forget everything else. They're little tiny paintings, so they're not intimidating. Okay. They're six inches by six inches and they're painted on canvas with acrylic paints.
Valerie: And i I paint with acrylic paints, but I choose acrylic paints because you there's so many layers. If something doesn't look good, you can just add a layer on top. It dries quickly.
Valerie: And you can paint in your kitchen. You can paint in a bedroom. And there's no so smell and there's no I love oil paints, but sometimes it makes me loopy. So I stopped painting with oil paints a long time ago because there are so many mediums that are just not healthy for us when you paint with oil paints.
Valerie: And they're small impressionistic garden paintings. So, I mean, not to compare us to Monet or Van Gogh, but think like that type of painting.
Valerie: stuff and I thought that would be a really nice way to paint because the impressionist painters are so loved and the it just fits in perfectly with the garden.
Valerie: And so i paint these paintings, i video them, i record them so they're all, I don't show up live at all. So it's you can hop on and you can paint at any time throughout the month. I keep it easy for me.
Valerie: It's one painting a month and it's easy for other people as well. And then you can, jump on to our website, see whatever painting you want to paint, and then paint with it. And I talk in a way that is geared for the beginner artist.
Valerie: And so I kind of walk you step through step. I give you outlines to trace because although I love drawing myself, sometimes that can be frustrating. We don't even need to learn that. We can just dive right in with the painting.
Valerie: And we talk a lot about the colors because if you use really beautiful garden-y, pastel-y colors and put them together in any kind of form, you're going to have a beautiful painting no matter what.
Valerie: And so I basically had this idea in my head and I offered it to my community and I didn't even really have anything set in stone yet. And I just said, hey, is anyone interested in doing something like this with me? And I had so much response with people saying, yes, yes, yes.
Valerie: And so then all of a sudden I had people that were relying on me to get this finished and get it done. And so I put it together pretty quickly once that's going. And even right now, before I talk to you, I was starting with this month's painting, which I'm going For those of you listening, it's a pumpkin that has succulents on top. So I try to keep it seasonal and lighthearted as well.
Valerie: But it's so much fun.
Jennifer Gulizia: That's awesome. And so in one hour, someone in your community can paint the same picture and have something that they could either gift to someone or hang in their house.
Valerie: Yes.
Valerie: yeah
Valerie: Right? Yes. And so I say two hours just because when I was younger and I painted with Bob Ross, he would do it in 30 minutes, but he would stop and rewind. I do all my paintings in real time.
Valerie: And, but still you, you know, I'm a quick painter. I've been doing this for a while. So I would say, give yourself two hours, but absolutely. And I love the paint and sips or the painting experiences that you go to, right?
Valerie: But from an artistic person that has, like from my perspective, because I do have a very big history with art and I've looked at so many paintings and I do have college education and a degree in that.
Jennifer Gulizia: Mm-hmm.
Valerie: i from a I just, most of them just aren't very lovely. And so I really want something that not only helps you creatively, but also that is really beautiful.
Jennifer Gulizia: I love that. Well, thank you for sharing about that. So your membership is a virtual two hour training that people can attend at any time of the month.
Valerie: Yes, yep, it is.
Jennifer Gulizia: And it's a monthly membership or annual membership.
Valerie: Yep, it's a monthly membership. And so every month, right now it's $18 a month. I probably will increase that cost just because we're advertising a little bit now. And advertising is a whole different thing with with the costs of things. But for $18 a month, you get ah ah recording of me with the tutorials and I go over what materials to buy,
Valerie: what, how to paint. And then i do the painting. And then you also have access to all of my previous paintings right now. Anyway, that's a bonus. I don't know if I'll continue to have that, but at the moment anyway, that's how it's set up. So I think I have 15 different ones throughout the different seasons.
Valerie: And for me, i love watching people. I mean, I don't see them paint because it's all recorded, right? And they can jump on it anytime. but I love it when people post their paintings in our private Facebook group or they will send me an email with the paintings that they have been working on.
Valerie: That is just so cool because a lot of these women have not done anything painting-wise since maybe grade school, and they're having so much fun painting, and some of them don't want to post, which is fine, but they still will say, I had so much like just stress leave my body during these two hours that I painted last week. I can't tell you how important that was to me.
Valerie: Or other people would say, oh, I'm painting my entire family little paintings for Christmas, which is also really cool for Christmas gifts.
Jennifer Gulizia: Oh, I love that.
Valerie: Yeah.
Jennifer Gulizia: How fun.
Valerie: And yeah, it's just, I just want... everyone to know that it doesn't matter what aspect or what way you go, but you are creative. And so many people do put labels on themselves like, oh, I could never do that. I'm not creative.
Valerie: Well, you don't necessarily... need to be creative with this. I'll tell you what to do and you can follow it. And then as you do it longer and longer, then all of a sudden you're going to start to get some different ideas on your own too.
Valerie: But it's so, yeah, painting helps with, and I should know all of these, but it really has been scientifically helped or proven to help with anxiety and overwhelm and stress relief and just feeling good about yourself because, don't know, there's something magical about being able to say, oh, I did that.
Valerie: Or had I not spend those two hours painting that, it wouldn't exist. And now it exists. And look how pretty it is.
Jennifer Gulizia: I love that. so is your enrollment or excuse me, is your membership open for enrollment currently?
Valerie: Yes. Yep. Right now it is. i don't know if we'll be closing it or opening it. We are still figuring out what the best way to go, but right now it's definitely open and it's at artgardentherapy.com because I really wanted that name to embody what it does. And it really is garden therapy and art garden or and art therapy kind of like all rolled up into one.
Jennifer Gulizia: Awesome. We'll include a link in today's show notes for that. And then I'd love to ask you if you could encourage our listeners to do just one thing this week to spark more creativity in their lives, whether that's through art, gardening or something else, what would it be?
Valerie: Sure.
Jennifer Gulizia: What would you encourage them to do?
Valerie: I would encourage them, if they don't have any, like if they don't know what to do at all, I would encourage them not to look for anything. Don't dive in with anything. I would encourage them to go sit and think.
Valerie: And maybe not even specifically think, but just think. put it out there like you were talking about, like meditating. Okay, I'm looking for something creative. I wonder what I could do.
Valerie: And just take a few moments every day or a big chunk of time one of the days and just be open to whatever pops up in your head. And, you know, it might be knitting. It might be crocheting. It might be making sourdough bread.
Valerie: might be some of these other hobbies that you used to do when you were a kid but you haven't done. since your grandma died or since your little neighbor kid moved away or whatever it happens to be.
Valerie: And so I would, I think that like find a time and a place for an idea to surface and then listen to that. And then next week, do what you need to do to get started down that path, whatever that happens to be. And it could be gardening. It could be painting.
Valerie: It could be all those things.
Jennifer Gulizia: I love it. What great advice. Okay, we've talked about a lot today. You have such a great story and you're such an inspiration and such a talented artist. Where can our listeners connect with you? I know we'll include links to all of these in the show notes, but you have the Art Garden Therapy.
Jennifer Gulizia: you have a separate website for your paintings?
Valerie: I do. So, and I've got two websites for the paintings just because I, they don't, they mix, but they don't mix all that much. So steelcow.com is where you can find my farm animals.
Valerie: And I do have some wildlife up there as well. And steelcow lavender farm right now is where I have all of the flower paintings and flower prints.
Jennifer Gulizia: Perfect. Thank you. And we'll we'll have those links in today's show notes. Before we wrap up today, is there anything I haven't asked you that you want to share with our listeners today?
Valerie: I think we went into more depth than I was actually preparing for. i i didn't realize I was going to go into so much of the detail about the story, but I love hearing stories and knowing where what like where those sparks of ideas came from or how that happened. And so don't think so. I think that's actually, that i think that's good.
Jennifer Gulizia: Well, it was such an honor to learn more about you today and I've had so much fun. I'm going hold this up. Valerie sent me, so if you're watching on YouTube, you can see this. This was what we painted inside the Dahlia patch and Valerie made this one and sent it to me after we were all finished and it's just so beautiful. She does these gold rims around the outside of her paintings and just watching her paint was therapeutic in itself. Everyone in the community is still talking about this and we're actually going to replay it at the end of October and we're going to redo the paint party so that anyone who couldn't join the first time can join in and paint it because we were all saying what a great holiday gift this would make for friends and family and then you can take your own colors of your dahlia field and paint your own colors so like for me I've got all the gorge sunset colors and it's like oh I could paint a gorge sunset at the top so this was really fun and
Valerie: That's awesome.
Jennifer Gulizia: It's been such an honor to get to know you more and thank you for creating so much beauty in the flower world. I think this is just such a great reminder that we can be creative in our gardens, but we can also be creative with our gardens and other aspects like painting as well.
Valerie: Absolutely. Yes, it's been a joy.
Jennifer Gulizia: So.
Valerie: Thank you very much, Jennifer.
Jennifer Gulizia: Thank you. You have a wonderful day, Valerie, and we'll talk to you soon.
Jennifer Gulizia: Bye-bye.
