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Episode 3: Full Moons & Spiritual Journeys
23 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, we discuss the Full Moon in Capricorn/Summer Solstice, and Sydney and Katie each share the stories of their spiritual journeys.
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Transcript
Intro
00:01:05
Speaker
All right.
Greetings and Small Talk
00:01:06
Speaker
Welcome to Episode 3 of Awaken Alive with Katie and Sydney. Katie, how are you doing? I am great, Sydney. How are you? you know, it's just another day and it's just another moment and it's just another part of the journey.
Existential Fears and Queerness
00:01:23
Speaker
So I'm here and I'm queer and I have a little bit of existential fear for it all.
Summer Solstice Significance
00:01:35
Speaker
Oh, goodness. Well, Sydney, um happy summer solstice. Happy summer solstice. Finally, for me, it feels like summer starts around Memorial Day. And I think that's just from my school year conditioning for so long. But it's the official start to the
Joy of Summer and Astrology
00:01:59
Speaker
summer. And I could not be happier about that. I'm a summer gal. Yes. Bring me all the sunshine, even though I live on the surface of the sun, AKA Texas. I love the sunshine. ah Well, you are a Leo, so that tracks. You are a summer babe. This tracks, yes. Literally ruled by the sun. Yeah. Yeah. She's a beaut. She's important. Yep.
00:02:29
Speaker
Well, ah funny enough, the full moon in Capricorn is coming in hot. I guess it does make sense. So full moons happen when the moon is opposite the sun. So we're in the middle of a cancer season now, or
Cancer Season Influence
00:02:49
Speaker
we're starting cancer season now. Yeah. so wait, feeling all the emotions and all the watery goodness and all the feelings. Oh, cancer. My Mars is in cancer in my third house, so it does love some aspects of cancer season. I also have a lot of lovely
00:03:14
Speaker
cancer sons in my life h who are either my mother or a mother figure to me. So lots of lots of that theme as well. My Mercury is in cancer in my 11th house. So curious ah and communication and lots of big feelings. Lots of big feelings, lots of deep, motherly communications, especially to society and to your peers and to your sphere. Yeah. aye I feel like this is part of both third house and 11th house themes. And so it makes sense that with this podcast, we're looking at healing emotional wounds.
00:04:05
Speaker
and looking at the deep emotional stuff.
Spiritual Journeys
00:04:08
Speaker
Well, speaking about deep emotional stuff, we wanted to take time this episode and get into our own little spiritual journeys and where we come from and where we're currently at in our journey. So Sydney, I don't know if you want to start us off to talk about your journey, but I would love to hear about it. And I'm sure that our listeners would love to hear about it too. Well, before we get into that, um Can we draw a card to set our intention? Yes. Yes, of course. My apologies. That's okay. Let's see. What deck are we using today, Katie?
Oracle Card Drawing
00:04:46
Speaker
We're going to use the witch deck, which is woman in total control of herself. It is probably one of my most favorite oracle dreads. Yeah.
00:04:55
Speaker
it's absolutely beautiful the cards are like lined with a gold foil on the outside so it just feels like luxurious when you use it i'll throw a link up for it because i definitely know that you can get it off of amazon so oh okay so we got the phoenix um uh what a great card for talking about this oh my gosh i know right so the phoenix A woman in the fire is no longer a witch being burned due to fear, control, or power. The woman in the fire today is a phoenix whose regeneration alights us with dreams of what we still can be. You were born with transformation in your veins. The fire they used to burn us hundreds of years ago is losing its heat. You and your ancestors have taken the fire they used to destroy and brought it forward as a fire to transform.
00:05:51
Speaker
The witch does not seek retribution. She channels her rage, power, sadness, and brokenness into her life force and her creativity. She is a living transformation unfolding her wings in the flames of change. Let this time of change shape your life to become the flaming legacy of your Phoenix spirit. Gosh, that was so good. And as I talk about my journey, I think that card super, super, super will make sense and resonate. Yeah, for sure. but
Early Spiritual Experiences and Christianity
00:06:23
Speaker
I think that for our spiritual listeners, they will resonate with some of the maybe first parts of my story, which is the parts where you look back on your childhood and you're like, oh, I should have known. There was something there. So growing up very intellectually gifted and emotionally sensitive
00:06:46
Speaker
from a like spiritual religious perspective. I grew up in church and really enjoyed it, made a lot of good friends, memorized Bible verses, how jolly old time. um But you know I was also into fairies. And if you had presented me with a deck of tarot cards, I would have been really into that. And I think all children are a little bit psychic or a little bit in tune with their intuitive gifts because they're still very pure. Their ego hasn't masked over that yet. But, you know, looking back, even from an early age, I wasn't one of those children who saw ghosts or anything, but I kind of was a child who wish I had. I wish I had seen some cool shit like that.
00:07:29
Speaker
Um, I was very involved in church, uh, throughout middle school and high school and, uh, suffered a lot of shame for different things because of that religious upbringing. And, you know, to be down in the Bible belt, I think a lot of people do have this, uh, these evangelical religious wounds where we were put into boxes and conditioned in fear. and taught really harmful things about sexuality in our bodies. I was already in a very vulnerable time in middle school and high school and so that really affected me.
00:08:12
Speaker
When I was a senior in high school, my mom and I moved churches to like a super, you know, one of those like churches that doesn't have an actual church, church building, but you know, it's just a bunch of young people and they sing like super hip Christian songs, Christian rock. Yeah, it was one of those. But Even in that setting, that's when I started seeing problems within Christianity as a whole. When I went to college, I found out that with one of the members, they had encouraged him to go to converging camp when he confided in them that he was gay. And as the last time I followed up on it, he had married a woman, which is super sad. When my mom told her
00:09:03
Speaker
group, that same group, that she wanted to leave my father because she wasn't happy and because it was a really toxic situation for both of them.
Spirituality vs. Religion
00:09:12
Speaker
They basically ostracized her and she was ah already kind of a odd man out because she was so much older than the rest of the congregation, but they encouraged her to work it out with my dad even though ultimately that could have never been done successfully. And at the same time that all of that was happening, I was in college and I met gay people from the for the first time. And it was the first time where I didn't have my mom whispering into my ear her beliefs about the LGBTQ plus community. And I realized that there is no way that I wanted to follow a religion that persecuted people based on who they love.
00:09:56
Speaker
This was several years before I realized that I am bisexual, but I did not touch religion for a very long time. Spirituality kind of came back into play. For me, as a young adult in 2016, my aunt, who is a hero to me, the the woman I wished was my big sister growing up, was going through a spiritual journey of her own and introduced me to um astrology and tarot. And I thought it was fascinating, not just because she was the she's the cool aunt and anything she says is cool, but it started to help me make sense of the world and kind of gave me a little bit of freedom and independence from the religious shackles that had bound me in fear for so long.
00:10:47
Speaker
It's always really scary to step out like that. It's scary to have your entire like social media circle still very much ingrained and in Christianity, your parents, or at least your mom, ingrained in Christianity and to be like, no, I'm actually gonna be really blue spiritual witchy. That's my thing. And with my aunt, you know, she was the one that got me into it to the point where like in 2018, she was in a group chat with a bunch of um her cousins. So I guess my first cousins once removed saying things like, we are all descended from witches. We are here to break generational curses. We're here to like be empowered.
00:11:32
Speaker
And since then, she has set a complete 180 and gone back to serious Christianity. And that is, I think, something that, from my understanding, happens a
Life Transitions and Healing
00:11:42
Speaker
lot. You know, people will think that it is um somehow damning. They're going to go to hell, that it's um the devil leaving you astray, and will go seek safety in organized religion. The good news is that while that's happening, her daughter, who is 19, is kind of like me and is a queer little witch. And maybe my aunt was right in that, and we are the generational curse breakers. And maybe she my aunt is a part of that. Maybe she's not. Maybe it's just me and her Gen Z daughter.
00:12:20
Speaker
But um after 2018, I kind of dabbled still more in things like crystals, pendulum, crystal grids, things like that, some some light spell work, but I still felt really strange about it all. It was still a big secret. It was still like something to be ashamed of because it was taboo, because it was out of the ordinary. i still I still really held onto it, but kind of as like a, oh yeah, like Sydney's the woo woo girl. Sydney will ask guys that she goes out with for their birth times because it's cute and funny and stuff. But now that things are clear, those are actual tools that I use and I embrace them a lot more. In May of 2022, so ah almost exactly two years ago,
00:13:12
Speaker
I left a very toxic partnership and um basically had to start my life completely from scratch. um I didn't have a place to live. I didn't have a job. I had everything that was in my car and the rest of my stuff was in a storage unit in Charlotte, North Carolina, where I was not. And that rock bottom moment for me, I would say was and not the official start of my spiritual journey, but it was that first thing that Spirit had to do to wipe my slate clean. And it was um extremely hard. I moved to Washington DC and I lived with my best friend in her spare room.
00:13:56
Speaker
for two and a half months while I got a part-time job, looked for a full-time job, and just tried to make sense of what had just happened. In order to become spiritual, you have to have all of your basic needs met. And so it did take some time to go from the first permanent job that I had in DC to where I work now and to have the monetary security that you need to explore your spirituality. You have to have love and a good support system. And so I had to kind of figure out who my new support system was now that the support system that I had had in that codependent relationship was no longer there.
00:14:39
Speaker
um I didn't have anyone left from the time when I was in my ex, the time that I lived in Nashville. And then I just had to kind of reset my nervous system. And so the way that I did that was to move to a place that did not trigger my nervous system so much. And that was Tulsa. um It's a lot quieter, it's a lot safer, it's a lot more healing than Nashville, Washington DC, even you know Dallas Fort Worth where I was from. So I needed time to heal and heal my body by starting to take care of myself even more.
00:15:18
Speaker
um and try to get out of that survival mode that I had been in in DC. Once I got to that place, things started falling into place really easily. My job started getting easier. I started excelling at it. I started making really good friends here in Tulsa and getting involved in things and working on my health. and And those are all of the components that ah You need to feel safe enough to explore the higher levels of self-development. You know, as as former teachers, we know math loves hierarchy of needs.
00:15:49
Speaker
And once I got the bottom needs met,
00:15:54
Speaker
the last one of like self-actualization spirituality was able to fall into place.
Self-Realization and Neurodivergence
00:16:00
Speaker
So ah my my actual like, what I consider the very, very, very start to my real spiritual journey was at the end of February, Here in Tulsa, I had met um a new friend who coincidentally um had moved from Nashville, so we had a lot in common. and One of the first things that I really recognized about her was how how much she loved her family. and like Every time she would bring them up, she would tear up about it because she was just she loved them that much. and
00:16:39
Speaker
it was It was beautiful, even like the second or third time to see a new friend tearing up because they just love their family so much. it was It was amazing. And that was back in October. At the end of February, ah she texted me and she said, my father committed suicide. And um so I'm gonna be out of pocket for a little while. And I had never met this man, but I knew that that severely affected her as, you know, as soon as I got the message. I was at the gym and I left and sat in my car and started crying. And I didn't know what to do. And I didn't understand why I was crying up for a person that I had never met before, for a friend that I hadn't even known that long. And I called my mom.
00:17:35
Speaker
And I asked her, why does this keep happening? How come when people I don't know very well die or have traumatic experiences, I cry about it? And she was like, I think you're just really highly sensitive, Sid. And that's not a bad thing. Even though at 12 years old, I was made to feel like it was a bad thing when similar instances happened. But I took that and I thought about it. and i I don't know, I just put two and two together that my high sensitivity, plus all of my other little personality quirks and things like that, my hyper fixations and um getting overstimulated in certain situations and um being highly intelligent. And I realized that the symptoms were the same symptoms that a lot of women our age are finding in themselves.
00:18:32
Speaker
And the best word that we have for that right now is autism. Some people might disagree with that diagnosis, especially as a self-diagnosis. And you know in 10, 20 years, we might call this particular phenomenon something completely different because we will understand it better, but it really boils down to some kind of neurodivergence that has um shared symptoms with autism and ADHD. And once I kind of sat with that for a second and went like, Oh, what if everything in your life, all of these things that you have been told about you that are wrong or bad, um like that you're too sensitive, or that you lack the social skills that you need, or that, you know, you go too deep with people? What if that all was just because you were never divergent?
00:19:28
Speaker
And that was so freeing. Like I finally had given myself permission to just be me. And that was kind of that first hit of spiritual awareness, of this idea that Being able to call what I was experiencing by a name, it meant everything, but it also meant nothing because even if I saw a diagnosis, it doesn't mean that I would get it. I've i've asked for a diagnosis for ADHD before and the psychologist told me that I was just really good at trivia. So it doesn't matter though, because I know my truth and I know what's going on in my head and I know that the symptoms match up.
00:20:16
Speaker
After I realized that, I went into like a whole weekend of like not eating and just being on like some weird energy high where I was just full of creative ideas and you know, realizations about myself and my traumas and things like that.
Spiritual Tools and Inner Child
00:20:33
Speaker
And since then, there's been a lot of digging up old shit. a lot of realizing that that old shit either was put onto me by um people who were struggling, like my parents and my peers and my friends, my made past romantic relationships, or they were patterns that I repeated because I was unhealed. Things like my disorganized anxious attachment issues.
00:21:02
Speaker
There's a lot of beautiful things about a spiritual awakening. I lost a lot of weight, that was fun. That's been nice. Also just things like knowing that I have spirit guides to talk to or communicate with. They send me messages, they send me encouragement, things like angel numbers, songs, videos on TikTok that they might think is relevant for me to to watch. That has been really beautiful. And just this hope in the future, despite seeing the world a lot more clearly now, despite everything, I do believe that we live in a world that is healing. And I look forward to the future with optimism, even though I don't know what it's going to hold.
00:21:57
Speaker
I definitely think that I have changed from the inside out because of this journey. Despite the resilience and in the face of hardships that I've had to show and despite how difficult it is to process your trauma and heal, I've learned that I can do the hardest of things, especially when it comes to taking care of myself. Now that I have met my inner child and see her a lot more clearly, I know how to take care of her and protect her. And it's just been really beautiful despite painful. So that was very long winded, but I appreciate you listening so patiently. No, thank you so much for sharing and being vulnerable and letting us into your journey thus far. And as somebody who has known you for several years now,
00:22:57
Speaker
I commend you on how far you've come because you really come such a long way. And even if you can't feel it or see it, I can see, you know, how different and how alive you are now. So I definitely see the light in you and want you to keep going and keep pushing and keep growing. Thank you so much. That means, it means the world to me, really does.
Katie's Background and Religious Trauma
00:23:26
Speaker
So It was your turn. and Okay. Oh, well, a long, long time ago, I was a child of a church choir member and Bible study leader in our church. And, um, I grew up going to church.
00:23:49
Speaker
three or four times a week for my mom to have choir practice and so I knew all the songs and all the parts because when we weren't at church learning them we would be listening to the CDs in the car and learning all the parts so I could sing tenor through soprano and harmonize with each one. I was baptized at an early age. I knew all the right answers. I was also an extremely emotional child. I have been told that I am too much and too loud and too sensitive for a very long time and it took me a very long time to be okay with that.
00:24:29
Speaker
But cut to I was about 10 years old and my Norman Rockwell idyllic childhood ended because my older brother passed away suddenly and his death rocked my family and subsequently led to the divorce of my parents, um which led to us being asked to not come back to the church. My mom was a very public figurehead in our church. She was on Praise Team. She was in the choir. She was very personable. My mother is very much like me. She's not a Leo, but she might as well be. I need to do her chart. But um she's very talkative and fun and a little bit flirty.
00:25:15
Speaker
And the other women in the choir saw her as a threat. And so they wanted her out. So um she got kicked out of choir, which was like her whole identity at that point in time. So she was reeling. She didn't know, you know, she just got a divorce and she was single and she didn't have her whole community that she had built up her, but you know, the last decade of life. And my dad turned to alcohol to numb his pain after losing a child. And so, yeah, we got asked to not come back. I actually remember vividly. I was 13 years old and I showed up for Youth Praise Team because, you know, I was on Youth Praise Team.
00:25:59
Speaker
And I showed up and somebody else was there singing my part. And I asked the pastor, you know, what's going on? Why is this person singing my part? I'm supposed to sing this Sunday. And he said, oh, no, you're not singing anymore. And I said, oh, really? Like, did you change the schedule? And he said, no, you're not going to be on the praise team anymore. And, you know, I was shocked and I didn't understand why um this was happening. So I just asked him, you know, what's going on? And this grown man looked me in the eye and told me, you're not doing this for God. You're doing this for you. And that's idolatry. You're putting yourself above God. You're not doing this for God. You're doing this for you. And I think that you have enough going on at home that you need to sort out before you get up on stage again.
00:26:52
Speaker
to a 13 year old child who had grown up with his children and never missed a practice. So um I called my mom to come pick me up and I was, you know, just dry heaving, sobbing in the parking lot of the church. um And she came and picked me up and I never went back. And I had tried other churches since then, but there was just this bad taste in my mouth for ah organized religion and Christianity and churches in general, because if these people who I had known my, basically, home my whole life were willing to cast me out because of the sins of my parents, then how could I trust these newcomers into my life that were, quote unquote, welcoming me into their new church?
00:27:40
Speaker
So we kind of bounced around churches for a while and I think that's really where my deconstruction began even if I didn't know that I was deconstructing because it just it took years for me to process that pain and that heartbreak. So went through churches Went on through high school and a church and, you know, it was still very religious, very Christian, but I always felt things so much deeper than everybody else. It seemed like I always knew things that I shouldn't know or I could
00:28:19
Speaker
I would have these deja vu moments where people would tell me something and I was like, yeah, I already knew that. So it was just weird to me that I had all these instances, but I was so afraid of being different or being not of God that I just kind of ignored them. And growing up, the house that I lived in was haunted. and is haunted. We live here still. We we if we live in my childhood home. It's haunted. And as a kid, I would say like, hey, there's ghosts in this house. My parents are like, oh no, it's an old house. It's settling. I said, no, the house does not run up the stairs. There's there's somebody running up the stairs.
00:29:00
Speaker
So things like that would happen as a child, but I would ignore it because it wasn't of God. And, and you know, I would have doubts about myself and my sexuality and and my body. and all the things that purity culture teaches you in the South and all the trauma that's associated with that. So I took all that to college with me and um I just really didn't like myself. I didn't think that I was attractive. I didn't think I was good enough. I didn't think I was worthy of love because all the people who were supposed to love me hurt me and I carried that around like a ah wounded badge of honor.
00:29:39
Speaker
and met my ex who told me everything that I wanted to hear about myself and you know showed me the attention that I was craving and we got together and got married and had kids and I joked that after my second kid was um the first time that I saw God because his delivery was so terrible and so rough that I was like I see God there's no way that I am getting through this without a creative being so
00:30:12
Speaker
So thanks for that. And then we got divorced. And yet again, it was like, I had done everything right. And I was, you know, trying to fix all the mistakes that I made. And then I messed up again. And I had to go lick my wounds and show that I wasn't perfect and be embarrassed and be judged and question who I was as a person down to like my sexuality. And then I came out to myself as, Oh, I'm not straight.
Faith, Sexuality, and Witchcraft
00:30:46
Speaker
I'm very not straight. And I have been for long. I played women's rugby for God's sake. Like we should, the signs were there. The signs were there. But
00:30:57
Speaker
But again, that's not of God. So we don't talk about that. We shut that away. We hide that part of ourselves. So all this time, I'm still trusting in God and I'm still leaning on God and Christianity and just praying constantly, praying constantly that my life would just get a little bit easier and I would figure out what I'm supposed to do with it. And it went that way for a long time, meeting my current partner and having our third child. And up until probably, I would say 2019, really, I was still fervent on Christianity. And even though it felt false and it felt hollow to me.
00:31:46
Speaker
I was just craving the radical faith and belief that I had as a child. Like you're talking about how children are psychic and they have no ego. ah was just I wanted that high of everything's gonna be okay because I trust in this ultimate being and and they have divine will for me and everything's gonna be great. But then I started to deconstruct because I just knew in my heart that something was wrong. And um this is where I shout out Sydney because I would be like, hey, can you do some of your magic cards for me and help me figure out answers for what's going on in my life? And ah she so kindly obliged me every time. Man, and that was when I was going through my crystal phase and going through shit too. So I don't know how helpful I was, but
00:32:41
Speaker
It was there is very helpful. It was very helpful just to have that outlet. So then like COVID happened and I feel like everyone questioned their faith during COVID. And the next couple of years are just like a blur because survival mode. And then I moved back home from Austin. I moved back into my dad's house for the third time. and was humbled again by the universe. The universe really loves to humble me. I think I would be too great without it. I would be too big for my britches. But um so we moved in 2020 back home and that's when I really started deconstructing and started getting into the hypocrisy of Christianity and organized religion and
00:33:32
Speaker
really struggling with, who am I without this facet of my life? And so I began looking into, I guess the best word for it is witchcraft. Like I began looking into the metaphysical and the alternative and the esoteric and reading so many books about crystals and and spells and candles and all this stuff. um And I was just reading it. I was just dabbling in it. and just putting my toe in the water. And then in June of last year, the day after the anniversary of my older brother's passing, I went to a psychic for the first time with a good friend of mine in Galveston. And in this psychic reading, she told me lots of things about myself that I kind of already knew, but it was good to hear.
00:34:30
Speaker
She was like, you know, you're an energy worker. you're You are a light amongst others. You're put here to help people. And then she looked at me and she said, you have the gift. Spirits are trying to talk to you and you need to stop ignoring them. And I was like, oh, shit, that's that's terrifying. What does that mean? And she she goes on to tell me more stuff about myself and it was very validating. And then we're getting up to leave and she said, you know, I'm not ready for you to leave yet. And I was like, Oh, thank you very much. We can't pay for any more time. You know, we we need to go. And she said, no, no, no, no, I'm not, I'm not charging you, but you, there's something else you need to pull. I need to get my angel deck for this. So she gets her angel deck and, uh, she has me pull a card and the card is, uh,
00:35:23
Speaker
Your loved one on the other side wants you to know that they are okay and that they love you very much and that they're here with you. And I immediately start sobbing. And she's like, it's a man, but it's not an old man. It's a young man. He's like a child and he's trying to talk to you and he's been trying to contact you. And I can't get words out because I'm crying and sobbing and um my friends crying. And I say, you know, is it my brother? Can you confirm that it's my brother? And so we pull another card and the card says, I'm not dead. I'm with you. And so I was like, I, that's the, that's the most affirmation that I've ever heard.
00:36:12
Speaker
So, you know, I thank her, I tip her, I i get up and ah I start to look at the tarot decks because she told me that I need to start working with tarot decks because I have this gift and I need to start connecting with spirit. And I'm looking and I just got like the basic rider weight deck because that's what the shop clerk was like, you need to start with this. And he was very serious. and So I'm carrying it around and it just felt weird in my hands. Like it just felt foreign and cold and I didn't really like it, but I was like, I guess this is where I start. And then, uh, this random, beautiful red headed woman stopped me. And she goes, you want the modern witch Tarot deck? And I said, Oh.
00:36:58
Speaker
Okay. And she said, they'll have it behind the counter for you. That's the one you want. And I said, okay. Thank you. She didn't work there. She just appeared. And then I go to the counter and I look behind me. She's not there anymore. I don't know if she was a ghost or a witch or my subconscious. I don't know who she was, but she was amazing. And I know your first deck is supposed to be gifted to you, but I count this as a gift because she literally told me to go get this deck. And so I take it back up to the counter and I said, actually, can I get the modern witch tarot deck? And he was like, Oh, we don't have any. And I said, Oh, okay.
00:37:40
Speaker
ah would would you mind checking just to be sure and he was like yeah okay and he's like oh yeah someone had tried to get this earlier but they they left they didn't want it so it was behind the counter there's one deck left and you can have it and i was like you've got to be fucking kidding me there's there's no way there's no way Oh, I love it. So I buy the deck before anyone can take it from me because I'm like, this is this is an awakening. This is something huge. So we we we buy the deck and I run out of the store and I'm telling everybody I'm calling my dad, I'm calling my friends and I'm telling everybody what just happened to me. and
00:38:26
Speaker
It was like I felt like I was alive for the first time. Like I was truly awake and alive. It was like this veil had been lifted from my eyes and I could see the world. and It was just amazing. And then I went home and I told my therapist about it. And my therapist was like, your aura is so bright right now. My therapist is also very woo woo. I love her very much. She's like, your aura is so bright right now. Like you've had an awakening. Like you, you're truly awakened. So ever since then, I've pulled my cards every day and I consult them for
00:39:07
Speaker
every single decision and I live and die by them and I've incorporated meditation and spell work and candle magic and I just got my Reiki attunement. I started doing Reiki At first I had Ricky done to me and then I learned how to do Ricky for others and that's been really healing for me because I've been told from multiple people on different occasions that like you need to do energy healing. like you Your aura is so bright, you need to do energy healing.
00:39:40
Speaker
and i'm like oh okay nate thank you spirits for sending these people to tell me these messages that i was obviously ignoring so sorry so working with the cards and then being encouraged to give readings to other people pushed me out of my comfort zone but i've grown to love it so much and now i do that as a job and the reiki now as a job but it doesn't feel like a job because i still love it so much and it is just like an extension of my journey where i get to help others because i i was a doula i went to nursing school i was a teacher like all these helping professions are in my path and none of them ever felt quite right
00:40:21
Speaker
but like my intention was there and so I truly feel like these tools that I've been given in this spiritual realm are where I'm meant to be and I've never felt more like myself than I do now. I'm not happy with everything in my life because I don't think you ever are But I'm the happiest that I've been with myself emotionally, probably in my whole life.
Storytelling as Healing
00:40:47
Speaker
And I'm no longer chasing that high of the Sunday morning pulpit because it lives within me every time I close my eyes. I am divinely connected. I have spirit guides. I can commune with departed family and friends and ancestors and
00:41:06
Speaker
I've channeled others loved ones and just opening myself up to the possibilities and not being scared of when something new pops up. I just love it so much and I love being here with you. I agree. I love being here with you too. It's so funny that you You brought up that time when I was doing tarot readings for you and I, I'm not great at tarot because I get too wrapped up in the meanings. So it's so funny that like you are the, you are the real tarot reader, but you have always been a healer. I mean, even before you became a teacher, you were going to become a nurse and that completely tracks.
00:41:52
Speaker
As far as our career paths, I think that they're both very much about healing and or teaching. Yeah. I think that's why I love this podcast so much. Like, yeah, it's a time for friends to catch up. But I think it meets some of those needs to heal others, at least by telling your stories, they might be helpful. And I feel like not only is it healing, but my favorite part of teaching was always storytelling and getting to yap. I just love spinning a good story. I love learning about new things. And I've always, even from like when I was 10 years old and like this tragedy happened to me and I lost my brother,
00:42:39
Speaker
i've always taken that like southern christian idiom of like everything happens for a reason everything happens for a reason first of all people who say that need to shut up because that's a terrible thing to say to somebody who's mourning but i've always wanted my pain to have purpose and be a lesson to learn rather than something that breaks me. And so if me being vulnerable about my journey and my shortcomings helps somebody else feel more comfortable with theirs, then that to me fulfills the need that I have to help others in this way. That's how I feel too. And that's kind of the messages that I get from my guides too is
00:43:25
Speaker
Sydney you have this gift of storytelling and that is what you are meant to do to help people feel more comfortable with themselves, help people forgive themselves, help people know that they are not alone because that was has always been a big theme for me is feeling alone. yeah If I'm able to connect with someone through a shared experience, you know, even parts of of our two journeys lined up in some ways. And I think it is through seeing the commonalities that we are able to heal.
00:44:06
Speaker
I think that our synchronicities parallel each other a lot in our lives. And though we live drastically different lives at its core, I feel like we are more alike than different. And I feel like that's most people when you really look at the brass tacks of things, you're more alike your neighbor than different than them. Exactly. And with our stories, I mean, I do believe that when you meet people who you have a lot in common with, especially as you get older and know yourself better, like you're meeting your soulmates, you and I are soulmates, you know, we're a part of that same all group for sure, which is beautiful.
00:44:48
Speaker
to think about that you have multiple soul mates. There's no such thing as just one romantic perfect person for you. Yes, absolutely.
Empowerment and Tarot Reading
00:44:59
Speaker
I would encourage our listeners now that we've shared our stories, this full moon that comes up tomorrow to just shed all of the things weighing you down. Full moons are for shedding and releasing. and just really dive into the life that you want to lead, not because you feel like you have to, but because it feels authentically
00:45:22
Speaker
you and even if it's scary or foreign or new, get rid of anything inhibiting you in this way because the quicker you can let go of these things holding you down and holding you back and putting you into boxes, the quicker you figure out who you are and who you're supposed to be. ah agreed. The boxes that society and culture has placed on us are very limiting and impede our growth a lot of times. I would also encourage our listeners to think about the connections between maybe their lives or spiritual journeys and ours, how they're the same, how they're different, and how they can use their journey as
00:46:13
Speaker
a source of empowerment that even when things get hard, it is for a bigger purpose and it does have meaning if you choose to give it meaning. Absolutely. Well, this is a very beautiful, heavy episode. I love it just in time for the sun and cancer and the full moon. Let us now close out with the cards with Katie. yay okay so we're gonna be doing the ethereal visions luna deck which i just got and i am obsessed with her obsessed with her no o she is so the ethereal the ethereal visions deck is like a beautiful gilded very artsy deck the luna deck is its sister
00:47:01
Speaker
And it was recreated to be more diverse and inclusive. So it has a lot of depictions of different people, and different bodies, different colors. So I really love it. And it's still gilded. So it's like metallic and cool. Oh, friends. This this week we have the star. So the star is all about hope and faith and light. I love the star personally. I think it's such a good omen. And I think that, especially with what we're talking about, like our spiritual journeys this week, really decide, you know, to shine your light and to not be afraid of standing out like the star.
00:47:55
Speaker
And then we have the Knight of Wands. Wands are all about actions. And the Knight of Wands is all about energy and passion. um So take that hope, take that light and fuse it with your energies and your passions and make something wonderful this week because we got the tower in reverse, baby. but So transition is coming for all of us. Change and upheaval and beautiful, beautiful transition are coming for us. And yes, growth is painful and the tower is not something super exciting to get all the time, but
00:48:36
Speaker
The more you fight it, the higher the tower, the farther you fall. Embrace the change. Embrace the transition because you got the star and you have the nine of wands. You're going to have energy and passion and love and hope and faith in yourselves because you're believing in yourself through this change that you're going through. So we love you. We do. And you know Tower in Reverse is not the the scary, everything around you is collapsing. it's yeah It's like here is a beautiful growth opportunity. And when you pair that with the Night of Wands and the Star, it's a positive change, folks. Yeah. It's good stuff. It's something good. It's something for your better. It's something for your higher self, for sure.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:49:22
Speaker
All right. Well, until next week, we are
00:49:27
Speaker
feeling awake and alive in our spiritual journeys and continue to seek out truth and continue to seek out your truth and share it with those around you.