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Episode 2: Anxiety vs. Intuition
19 Plays1 year ago
In this episode, you'll learn about the difference between anxiety and intuition, how human design can help with intuitive decision-making, what spiritual psychosis is and how to work through it, and how to use meditation to help you tune in to your intuition.
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Transcript
Intro
Introduction and Theme
00:01:07
Speaker
Hello, and welcome to Awake and Alive. Hello, hello. Katie, how are you? I am well, I am well. How are you, my friend? I am well as well. So we're not recording on our normally scheduled night, which is totally cool. And we can always move nights if we need, but um I'm guessing that last night for you was pretty crazy.
00:01:38
Speaker
ah who So for those who don't know, I have three children um under the age of 10. I have a nine-year-old daughter, a seven-year-old son, and a four-year-old daughter. um And they are all very unique and cool individuals and I love them very much. But ah bedtime is a little bit of a disaster in my home at all times. um You never really know what you're going to get.
00:02:14
Speaker
out of each individual child ah during bedtime, so it could be that the oldest doesn't want to go to bed, and so she's protesting, and um and she's very good at logical arguments at this point in time, which is really terrifying. um She's gonna make a really great lawyer one day, and I can't wait for her to pay all my medical bills when I'm old. um
00:02:40
Speaker
My son hits me with the, but I don't want to go to bed, mommy. I want to spend time with you. And that is just such a sucker punch, such a low blow. But he but he actually means it and that's the best part. Oh he, yes, he actually means it. He really does. He's a mama's boy. Um, and then my youngest is absolutely batshit insane and she just does whatever she wants to do at all times.
Astrology and Family Dynamics
00:03:11
Speaker
So, so my mom's birth order is girl, boy, girl, her, uh, so she is the oldest and then her sister is 10 years younger. But, um, yeah, it's, it, her sister's the same way or was, was just like, got away, could get away with murder.
00:03:32
Speaker
always. Because they're just so cute. Yeah, my youngest is she's super cute. She's just real crazy. I have her I have her chart. I actually have all their charts. I did their charts when they were younger. um And I want to read you her her big three. So you have some idea of what I'm talking about when I say that she's absolutely crazy. So let me pull it up. Um, so she is a Libra son, but she's kind of a cuspy Libra cause she's the 25th of September. So, um, she's a little bit of a cuspy Libra with some like very heavy Virgo placement. Um, her moon is Leo. Well, your son is Leo. And then her, her ascendant is Gemini.
00:04:30
Speaker
Oh man, you had me until... um with my i I know I said this last week, you know, at 7iRising, they just are so earnest and they mean so well. She does. She does. She means well when she picks the cat up in a chokehold. and says, look at my baby. And I'm like, yes, please put the baby down. She means well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And my oldest is a Libra sun, a Virgo moon and an Aries ascendant. Oh, we're so close. So I'm i'm the same except I'm a Taurus ascendant. That's so funny.
00:05:23
Speaker
Oh man. yeah Yeah. Yes. So my son is a cancer son, a Libra moon, and a Pisces is in then. He is the sweetest boy. And I'm also going to say I've seen a lot of recent TikToks that talk about cancer men and Pisces rising men. And I'm at least he has a really good mom. Yeah, he's he is a lover, not a fighter. um And he feels things very deeply and that is okay. I just love, always love his little fishing ah videos and pictures and his mullet. Yes, he is a boy through and through. He's very interesting, but he is very tender hearted and very emotional. I love like looking at family astrology because it's very interesting
00:06:21
Speaker
the like synchronicities between everyone's big three and the similar placements that people have. Yeah. um All of my kids have a Libra placement in their big three, which I find really interesting um because my partner is a Virgo and that he doesn't have a lot of Libra and um I have almost no Libra in my chart. ah So Libra is your second house. So it's it's interesting that like all three of your kids are connected to your house of security and stability and assets.
00:07:09
Speaker
your kids I mean, your kids are your assets and in a way. They are assets in my life. With your oldest Virgo moon and your Virgo rising, I'm sure you see some tendencies in common between the two of you. Yeah, it's my therapist said something to me that like totally just fucked me up one time. And I actually wrote a short poem about it because like I had to process it. And she said that our children are our deepest mirrors. And I immediately connected it with my oldest because she is me, like through and through. like just The apple didn't even fall out of the tree.
00:08:00
Speaker
<unk>ches It's insanely similar in the fact that like we both feel things so deeply and we want justice for everything all the time. anne um injustices, whether they may be slight or large, just affect us so deeply. And it's really hard to tell a nine-year-old that it's going to be okay when she knows that something is wrong or something that was done to her that is wrong. Even if it's a kid being rude to her on the playground, she's out for blood. That girl wants vengeance. And that was me as a kid. And I can't tell her that she's wrong. Yeah.
00:08:47
Speaker
Yeah. And I'm apples and trees. She's probably extremely intuitive already and just doesn't even know what to call. Oh, yes. And that definitely others her. And I know that I feel have always felt that way. If she if she ever
Oracle Card Reading and Anxiety Discussion
00:09:04
Speaker
needs someone who like gets her and answered answered got it.
00:09:13
Speaker
Good though. All right, so without further ado, let's get on to the meat and potatoes starting off with an oracle card. Yay! Okay, so today we are using the Mystic Sisters Oracle Deck by Emily Balavey, I believe is the last name. Um, and it's this really beautiful deck that is actually my first Oracle card deck. Um, I saw it at the Polk County pagan market in Livingston, Texas, and was like, this is mine and this coming home with me. So she's, she's a beaut. And our card today is air EIR. And it's this beautiful woman.
00:10:06
Speaker
um, with a pestle and a mortal mortar. And she's like grinding up some stuff. She's got plants all over around her. And I'm just going to read, uh, about her. So the keywords are healing, recovery, and remedies. In north and Norse mythology, Eir, whose name means help or mercy, is a goddess associated with medicine and healing. Eir is the healer of the other gods and goddesses. If they were ever sick or injured, Eir would heal and protect them with magical potions or sophisticated herbal remedies.
00:10:43
Speaker
When this card is drawn, you or someone you love will be in need of healing and recovery time. Exercise compassion and tenderness. Create a peaceful space for recovery. Research your remedies and practice patience and faith in the healing process.
00:10:59
Speaker
So we have several conversations every week about healing, Katie. I feel like we have had several conversations about that this week. How do you see that card connecting to our topic today about anxiety versus intuition? Oh, I mean, I think that anxiety is a disease in itself. Anxiety is an illness to be remedied, not cured, but remedied in a way or malated a way that makes it more manageable
00:11:43
Speaker
and doesn't move your life as much. So I would definitely see that like intuition is almost a solve for anxiety. Trusting your gut is the way to prevent anxiety from overtaking you. Yeah. It's funny that you say, you know, intuition is trusting your gut because as you were describing anxiety, you know, you were saying like, it's an illness. I feel like there's a lot of correlation between anxiety and stomach issues, right? yeah so People like always complaining of stomach aches and popping tongues like crazy and, you know, dealing with anxiety. And we know that there is a link between our mental state and our physical state and how those present for each other. So I feel like anxiety is
00:12:39
Speaker
feeling ill at ease the same way that you would with a stomach problem but then the opposite of that of anxiety being intuition is trusting your gut feeling your stomach but in a different way. yeah I think that there's something also to be said with, um I don't know if you've heard this before, but like your gut is your second brain um and your gut biome and like all of the things that live in your gut basically have neural markers that send messages to your brain.
00:13:21
Speaker
And they work together to kind of regulate your system. And
Human Design and Decision Making
00:13:25
Speaker
so I think people don't often associate what's going on with their stomach or their intestines with what's going on with their brain. But like you were saying, there is a link between your like neural pathways and what's going on in your physical body. And I think that everyone can relate to that sensation of having like butterflies in their stomach or having like a nervous stomach when they're anxious about something. But they can also relate to that tug that they feel when they know what a choice is meant to be. And it's kind of like in both scenarios, you're listening to your body, but one is real and one is fake. And you have to be able to discern between the two.
00:14:09
Speaker
for sure. This is a great segue plug into getting to talk about human design, which is like my, um if if astrology is my first child, then I would say um human design is like my second. you know I love them equally, but they but they serve different purposes for me. But for those who don't know, human design is um a system that uses a person's um birthday and time and location just like astrology, to look at how they as a human are designed, how they um stay in alignment with their true path, how they best use their energy to make change, um their strengths and limitations, um how energy flows through their body, and how they make decisions, aligned decisions.
00:15:09
Speaker
I think that a big issue that people struggle with is how do I know I'm making the right decision? um How do I know if what I'm choosing is based on my intuition or if I am overthinking this to death and just shooting a dart in the dark? And with human design, once you have your human design chart read, One of the biggest pieces of it is called um your authority and that is the part of your body that you go to to make your decisions that you listen to. There's a fear sometimes people have like, how do I know if it's my gut or my brain? um And this, you know, is a great tie back into is it anxiety or intuition, right?
00:16:06
Speaker
Anxiety comes from fear and your your thoughts are are grasping on to fearful messaging that they are creating and they're holding onto it and they're ruminating on it over and over and over again until it becomes a belief that the worst is going to happen or something bad is going to happen even if it's like a minor bad, right? Anxiety is is chatty. you know Anxiety likes to run its mouth. Anxiety likes to fantasize and you know explore the lowest lows usually. And to counter that anxiety
00:16:49
Speaker
First of all, to get kind of out of that like doom spiral of of anxious thinking, you have to say, okay, I'm swinging way to the the negative. I gotta swing way back to the positive. And I need to, you know, say for every like terrible thing that could happen, an amazing thing could happen. So that's kind of have one way that you can stop that. And then in order to tune into your intuition and actually know They talk a lot about mindfulness and meditation, which I always say that I hate, but once I do it, I actually really appreciate. And you just get really quiet and it comes. And when it comes, it feels solid and it feels heavy, right? um It feels thicker. It's like a weighted blanket of a thought, whereas
00:17:45
Speaker
anxiety is like little chirping birds all in your head, all talking at once. So you're looking for that insight that just kind of comes and dawns on you and you're like, Oh, I get it. You know, that's, that's what I was needing to know. So when it comes to the decision makers that also, you know, listen to your gut, it also comes from really tuning into yourself and your body. A lot of us are disconnected from our bodies. You know, kind of what you were saying, we have a lot of, people have a lot of gut issues with their gut microbiome, um IBS, gluten intolerances, just a bunch of stuff. And it's no coincidence that 70% of people are generator types that make these decisions from their guts.
00:18:42
Speaker
So not only are our bodies not in alignment, but we then can't make aligned decisions if we can't even feel that in our bodies at all. Physical and physiological health and mental health are like Yeah, I think i think that we have a real problem in the Western world specifically that we separate the two of mental and physical wellbeing and we treat one like it's more prevalent than the other or more
00:19:16
Speaker
important than the other one. And I think that we also have been taught to not listen to ourselves and not listen to our intuition because there's so many like societal standards put on top of us that and expectations that we're led to believe that we need to uphold. yeah And so we're so worried about like The ego part of us like the pride part of us the outward facing part of us that. We aren't
Meditation and Intuition Building
00:19:48
Speaker
listening to that internal voice anymore and that's really getting us lost in the weeds because that's supposed to be our guiding light and we're just kind of turning it off.
00:19:59
Speaker
um I know you're so talking about that you hate meditation, um but once you do it, it's great. And I was just gonna offer, so meditation is something that's super important to me in my practice. um Even ah besides tarot reading, besides doing Reiki, like meditation I think is like the number one pillar that I would set up for myself for my practice. And it's so, hard. It's such a hard thing to do. And it's, I say that, but it's as easy as starting. Like all you have to do is show up imperfectly, do the best that you can, and keep consistently doing the best that you can. neith There is no like perfect practice of
00:20:47
Speaker
zoned in meditation. The one thing that I would offer to our listeners is start with a word or a phrase that could be your mantra, that when your mind does start to wander, you can zone back in. It doesn't even have to be a word that means anything. It could just be like a sound. for For me, mine was the word shring. It sounds like a bell ringing. So I would repeat that phrase in my head as my mind started to wander and it would kind of be like a bell digging in my head and I would come back to my focus.
00:21:24
Speaker
And then now I'm at the point now where I can have like Kundalini energy where it's like that, that, that chakra spiral and, um, that deep Zen. But some days it's like five minutes and I'm like, well, I did five minutes. That's more than I did if I didn't do it. And that's all I can do today. So you just have to give it your best, you know, show up imperfectly and try your best. Yeah. So, you know, we have this idea of what mindfulness or meditation looks like. you know, focus on one thing or nothing
00:21:59
Speaker
right for a set amount of time and then like it's not it feels almost like it would be a factory reset but maybe and maybe it's not like this for you but i feel like a lot of when i get into you know what i guess i would call a meditative state it's like i'm i'm thinking i'm imagining i'm creating i'm you know looking at things but i'm not like holding on to any of them i'm just I'm just observing them and I'm just like, ah that one feels kind of that's a nice little thought or I don't really like that one and just observing how I guess my judgments about these thoughts judgments loose term. And then when I get stuck on one, I kind of, it gives me a little time I think to to work through it or I dent or even put a bookmark in it of and this is something I might need to work on a little more.
00:22:54
Speaker
Yeah, I think meditation comes in many forms. And I think that for different types of people, different meditations work better than others. And it's just kind of a trial and error of what works best for you. But I would strongly encourage everyone to try it because that's one of the best ways to build up your intuition is by spending time alone with yourself and really listening to what that internal voice is telling you.
Spiritual Journey and Anxiety
00:23:24
Speaker
Um, and, you know, seeing what comes up, seeing what reoccurring feelings or thoughts or ideas comes up for you is a big part of intuiting, you know, interpreting messages from spirit and figuring out why we're all here um spot as well as a caveat. we We're were're a fan of all of our tools and resources in 2024.
00:23:52
Speaker
Yes. Yes, absolutely. Use what you need. um But a combination of... modern day medicine and ancient mindfulness practices have gotten me to a point where I can de-escalate myself and my physical reactions to mental triggers that my children trigger me. Um, cause it's like, you also think about it where it's like, it's not their fault. They're just being kids, you know, they're just living their lives as little people and you have to give them grace because
00:24:29
Speaker
They're not intentionally, they're not doing anything maliciously. They're just loud. So here's an interesting kind of segue about fear and psychosis, as well as like spiritual anxiety. So, um, back in 28, no, okay, we'll say 2016. Okay. My aunt was a woo-woo girl. And I literally really look up to my aunt. I love her. And she was the one who got me into astrology and into tarot and into this and into that. And it was so super cool. And I just thought, you know, this is the greatest thing. um Even in 2018, she like started this group chat with our cousins down in Panama.
00:25:15
Speaker
And, ah you know, it was telling us about breaking generational curses and we're all witches and we're descended from from powerful women who came before us and it was beautiful and it was fun and exciting. And and then um all of a sudden she did, you know, a complete 180 and grasped back on to church and the Bible. As someone who really looks up to her, it was, it felt very confusing. Like, why would you have this, you know, this beautiful spirituality and share that with me and then just go back and say, oh, I was wrong. And actually it was, it was what my older sister and my mom and her mom and everyone have always done. You know, we always cling so hard to the Bible for everything.
00:26:05
Speaker
I tried to bring this up with my mom yesterday, and she started like doubling down on like, actually, no, your aunt is is right, and everyone else is, in so many words, saying that everyone else who doesn't believe what she and my aunt believe are like somehow subverting Christianity and subverting God. and And then I saw TikTok, of course I did, that kind of gave an explanation for this. And it is more or less what I suspected. It is a fear that comes at a certain point in the healing journey. When things get a little bit too real,
00:26:51
Speaker
And I think some of that, some people will call it demonic possession, some people will call it spiritual psychosis, and some people talk about Satan, and you know, whatever you want to call it, there comes this point where it's hard to decipher reality from fantasy. in the spiritual journey. And if you believe it as being something dangerous, that it can hurt you or hurt others, that, you know, they would make you do bad things that you normally wouldn't do. I think that when when people believe that that is what's happening, then yes, of course they want want to run back to a religion that controls them because they feel out of control.
00:27:38
Speaker
Christianity is very good at poaching on people's fear of the unknown via heaven and hell. And I am really lucky, I think, that I was able to have kind of the spiritual foundation already in place to when I experienced this. I i was able to say, first of all, identify what was happening. Yeah. Right. Not actual demonic possession, but something else, you know, something else going on here, but not to be afraid because intuition, you know, that's all of this is, is like, you know, your intuition kind of running amok and getting mixed up with anxiety. Right. Once you separate the two and you get clear on the the anxious part versus like you, you realize that you would never hurt yourself and you realize that
00:28:30
Speaker
you know your angels, your guides, the universe, source would never hurt you either. So if you if it feels like you're making decisions that are risky, that's not anyone who's going to help you. i Thank you for sharing that. um I feel like we've both had similar experiences where anxiety has manifested in a way that you have you know psychosis and and for different reasons. But I think that overcoming that and looking into these fears and and staring into the abyss and really questioning what's real, what's fake, and you know, who am I as a person? I feel like that journey helps you in the long run
00:29:13
Speaker
develop your intuition even more because you learn to trust yourself after being tested in this way and you are able to separate the anxiety from the intuition and those gut feelings become more intensified and more distinct. And I've gotten to the point now, after years of therapy and this spiritual journey, that I can sit here and say, okay, these are my thoughts. They are not me. This is not who I am. This is just a thought that my brain has created. This is not an intuitive message just sent by spirit guides. This is my anxious little caveman brain thinking there's a lion at the door.
00:29:58
Speaker
And I need to let it go and send this email. It's fine. way Because your brain doesn't know the difference between sending an email and a line at the door at this point in 2024. It's all the same. But right yes I feel like your brain can be tricked, but your gut can't, if that makes sense. oras turn And I think that spending time with yourself in meditation, journaling, speaking to a counselor or a therapist or, you know, a trusted advisor about these things, a professional. All of these things are great practices to be able to separate these two and really lean into your own intuition and be governed by yourself and your spirit guides. Yeah, I agree. When you really ground into reality,
00:30:49
Speaker
into what is true, into who you are, into your truths about the world. It's, it's easier to trust yourself. To know yourself is to trust yourself. Absolutely. And for anxiety, I say it, i this is a phrase that I learned. when I was a doula and it was taught to me by another doula as I was giving birth and she said the only way out is through and I wanted to sucker punch this lady in the throat when she told me that because I was in so much pain but it's so true the only way out is through you cannot just get through life the easy way all the time you have to go through these things
00:31:35
Speaker
to be refined, to be restored, to be regenerated. And is it's going to suck sometimes, but there's beauty in that and there's learning in that and there's healing in that. Yeah. The healing journey is scary and it's hard and a lot of people jump ship because it's easier to to go back to the matrix or to fall back on a religion that just tells you what to do. yep or to just forget all of, chalk all of this stuff up to spiritual mumbo jumble boo boo. But when you commit to the journey, like we have and like yeah some of our listeners have to, I don't know about you. I would not go back to my pre-spiritual journey life. That what felt meaningless. Absolutely. I feel like
00:32:32
Speaker
living awake and alive is the only way to go at this point. I think to go back into the darkness of ignorance would be a waste of my life. I agree.
Integrating Different Spiritual Beliefs
00:32:45
Speaker
And one last point about that TikTok video is like, well, how do you how do you not get scared? Right? How do you not do like what my aunt and like so many others do? How do you stay on the journey and like get through it? And the creator said that you have to transmute the energy. You have to transmute the fear into love. And so what that looked like for me.
00:33:11
Speaker
And why I think I'm able to hold space for this struggle with people is that I saw how would I believe in how Christianity are more alike than they are different. And when I reframed Christianity, I was able to say, I get what you're saying. It's just not the same way that I'm saying it. We both, you know, you say God's word, right? Or you say trust God. And I might say God is love, therefore trust and love, practice love. Or I might, you know, you can also say it as God is the universe or God is source. God is oneness. We are all one. Yeah. I think that with that, you also have to believe in yourself. You can't just say it's all universe. It's all source. And I'm apart from that.
00:34:08
Speaker
We are one and I think that trips people up. and This is a bigger conversation for another episode to talk about Christianity and spirituality and how they're actually saying the same thing. So I'll leave it there. But that is how you get to the other side. You you have to look for how how things are all one and they're not separate. Sydney, I had so much fun chatting with you. Thanks. I love chatting with you too. I love chatting with you and I love that our listeners listen and hopefully they get something out of this, out of our little s soulful babble. I hope so too.
Tarot Card Reading and Closing Messages
00:34:52
Speaker
I hope that our long-winded yapping is intelligible. We'll see. We mean it for good. We're using it for good. Are we ready for cards? Have we yapped enough about anxiety?
00:35:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as usual, when we close out our episodes, we're going to pull some cards to see what our week looks like ahead until the next episode. What message we need to receive on the day that this episode drops. So today we're going to be using the Cosmic Slumber Tarot. out by Sterling Ethos. It's a really great tarot deck. I love it so much. It's like watercolor and dreamy. Very cool. So we're just gonna see what pops out. So who okay.
00:35:49
Speaker
So the first one that popped out, like literally popped out of the deck is the Six of Wands and it's in reverse. So the Six of Wands in reverse talks about your personal definition of success. So upright six of ones talks about success, but when it's in reverse, it's talking about how do you feel most successful? What are you doing for your private achievement, for your private goals? And what does success mean to you? Um, so make sure to not just put it on societal standards, make sure that you are living for yourself. Um, and that you're not getting caught up in the rat race of everyday life.
00:36:34
Speaker
And then ah we have the Four of Pentacles. So the Four of Pentacles talks about um scarcity mindset and control. So money is always coming to you from multiple sources. Money is abundant. resources are abundant even when they don't feel like it, even when the wheel of fortune turns and we may not be feeling abundant, know that things are always coming to you when you're working towards your greatest good. And don't be so afraid of letting things go, letting go of control,
00:37:13
Speaker
So yeah, make sure that you're you know looking at your success through your own eyes and make sure that you're not overly controlling your resources in this moment because you don't want to get so bogged down that you lose sight of the goal. And then last we have the princess or the page of cups in reverse. So this talks about new ideas. It could also talk about doubting intuition. So we're talking about intuition and anxiety tonight. um So make sure that you're not getting bogged down with all the weight of the world. Make sure that when you have a new idea, it's not stirring anxiety in you, but you're listening to your gut um and you're following that intuitive message. So you want to make sure that
00:37:58
Speaker
you're doing things for your highest good, always. Not for making other people feel comfortable, not because society expects you to, but because it's for your greatest good. Make sure that you take care of yourself and you love yourself. And I really feel like the message this week is to just release control and follow that gut instinct. Yeah, I agree. And I think that, you know, things like For the four of Pentacles, it was about like being afraid of money, yes of not having as much abundance. And I feel like that's a really big anxiety for people. So so wanting to over control money and then wanting to over control how you're perceived by other people. um When I think about that Six of Wands and Reverse and like really wanting
00:38:53
Speaker
to do everything right and say everything right so that people will like you, which, you know, it gives a lot of anxiety too. So yeah, let go of control, let go of anxiety, be yourself, trust yourself. And why why do people say that tarot cards are evil and bad and demonic? i I don't know, but I love them, man. i nothing Nothing makes me feel better than pulling from a fresh deck of cards, like that crackle when I shuffle. o Chef's kiss. All right. Well, that concludes another episode of Awake and Alive. We hope that all of you have a wonderful rest of your week. Stay awake, stay alive. Stay awake, stay alive.
00:39:43
Speaker
Don't die on us until next week.