Transcript
Speaker: And I wonder if they ever did it with video game things because they did it with a lot of comic book shit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like Street Fighter would have made a lot of people happy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, exactly.
Speaker: You know what else makes a lot of people happy?
Speaker: What's that?
Speaker: Hey there, everybody.
Speaker: Welcome back to Pixlet.
Speaker: My name is Kevin.
Speaker: Alongside with me, as always, is Phil.
Speaker: Hello.
Speaker: And today we are reading, recapping and reviewing what is potentially the first video game novelization ever written.
Speaker: 1984's Shadowkeep, written by the king of tie in novelizations, Alan Dean Foster, and based on the game, the same name by Spinnaker Software.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: We had to hit our one-year anniversary before we finally did this thing.
Speaker: Yeah, we had to die.
Speaker: And this is a...
Speaker: This is a deep cut right here.
Speaker: Well, I mean, we actually had to talk to Seth Godin himself before we even knew that this was Seth Godin, who worked for Spinnaker Software at the time.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: The only reason we knew about this is because we talked to Seth Godin about the worlds of power.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, yeah, this wasn't the first time I did novelizations for like I was involved in getting the the Shadowkeep novelization.
Speaker: off the ground.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, sure.
Speaker: Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And he goes, you know, the first ever video game novelization.
Speaker: And it was like, oh, I see.
Speaker: So this is relevant.
Speaker: Oh, OK, sure.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: I knew that.
Speaker: Would you like to know more?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And we did.
Speaker: And we did.
Speaker: We did like to know more.
Speaker: So just a little bit about the game.
Speaker: So Shadowkeep, it was released in 1984 for the Apple II.
Speaker: It was published by Spinnaker Software.
Speaker: And its claim to fame is the first computer game to ever be novelized, have a tie in novelization.
Speaker: And they got the reason behind that is they wanted to get.
Speaker: They wanted to get Alan Dean Foster involved because at the time he was involved in basically all sci-fi and fantasy tie-in novelizations.
Speaker: So they're like, all right, we're launching this thing.
Speaker: The only way it's going to launch properly is if we get a tie-in novelization to come out alongside of it.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Yeah, the game is pretty simple, straightforward.
Speaker: You create your party.
Speaker: You give them their names, their stats.
Speaker: It's basically D&D like and it's a first person dungeon crawl as you go through Shadowkeep fighting monsters and eventually come face to face with Dalbrad, the the ultimate demon villain.
Speaker: of the game.
Speaker: And that's pretty much it.
Speaker: There's there's really no NPCs to speak of except for a innkeeper that you talk to at the beginning of the game who you write down your name and your stats and all that stuff.
Speaker: It's just it's just it's like the precursor to a lot of these like the you know, the eye of the beholder and things like that.
Speaker: These first person dungeon crawly D&D like computer games.
Speaker: Yeah, you look at it and you get the impression that, yeah, the classic gold box D&D CRPGs wouldn't be, you know, the games they were without things like Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Yep, yep, yep.
Speaker: So, Phil, tell me a little bit about Alan Dean Foster.
Speaker: Who the heck is this guy?
Speaker: Alan Dean Foster writes like Jason Momoa fucks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: prolifically and presumably with a more than fair share of skill.
Speaker: This dude is like probably the most prolific author we've covered in our whole series.
Speaker: This guy, not only is he like the grand poobah of novelizations.
Speaker: He was the original novelization to – he wrote the original novelization for Star Wars.
Speaker: They gave – he was the ghostwriter.
Speaker: They gave the credit to George Lucas.
Speaker: And he even – people asked him if that stuck in his craw.
Speaker: And he was like, nope, nope.
Speaker: I got to know that I wrote that, and that's all that matters to me.
Speaker: He wrote the novelization for Alien, Aliens, Alien 3, and then jumped forward like two decades, Alien Covenant, out of the clear blue sky.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He wrote the novelization for a Star Trek animated series that I wasn't aware of.
Speaker: I guess this was in the 70s.
Speaker: And he actually has a story credit for the Star Trek movie.
Speaker: And then he wrote the movie novelization for the 2009 Star Trek.
Speaker: So not only does he – oh, yeah.
Speaker: And he wrote the novelization for Star Wars The Force Awakens.
Speaker: The Thing –
Speaker: Krull, which is going to come into play with the book we're reading now.
Speaker: Dark Star, The Last Starfighter, Starman, The Dig, Chronicles of Riddick.
Speaker: I think the – and all this, by the way, while he's writing a shit ton of
Speaker: of genre classics now, like the Spellsinger series, Human X Commonwealth, Montezuma Strip, like all of these original series on top of everything else, the dude is a graphomaniac.
Speaker: It's insane.
Speaker: And on top of that,
Speaker: Terminators, Transformers, the goddamn Dynatopia universe.
Speaker: You remember that?
Speaker: They would have commercials on TV for this Dynatopia.
Speaker: He wrote for that.
Speaker: The dude is a workhorse and people love him.
Speaker: I was telling you before the show, I think what's really interesting is a lot of these novelization people, they start out –
Speaker: In a certain time period and they have a hot streak and then they kind of fall out, you know, and they go off and do their own thing for a little while and they don't do much – many more of the work for hire stuff.
Speaker: Alan Dean Foster has consistently worked through the 70s, 80s, 90s and aughts.
Speaker: Like –
Speaker: Like I said, he wrote the Dark Star novelization.
Speaker: He wrote the Force Awakens novelization.
Speaker: He's all over the damn place.
Speaker: Yeah, it's remarkable.
Speaker: How many decades is that?
Speaker: 70s, 80s, 90s?
Speaker: Aughts.
Speaker: Teens.
Speaker: Aught teens.
Speaker: I don't see anything in the 2020s.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: But at least five decades.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, five decades, six, if he has published something in the last couple of years.
Speaker: Yeah, which I'm sure he has.
Speaker: That's the thing.
Speaker: You look at his bibliography, and we've seen that with our interviews with these guys.
Speaker: These guys cannot be stopped.
Speaker: They will write forever.
Speaker: They will write.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: They have pen, will write.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: I mean, yeah, in a big way.
Speaker: And I mean, the guy is the guy is still up and kicking.
Speaker: And I might know because we may have spoken to him.
Speaker: We may have.
Speaker: We may have reached out to him.
Speaker: We'll see what happens with that.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: We've gotten lucky before.
Speaker: We've gotten lucky before.
Speaker: So yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: We'll see.
Speaker: So this book, the neat thing about this book, as I was researching the game, is like there's no real story in the game itself other than go kill big bad.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's what I wanted.
Speaker: Because I had trouble finding any Let's Plays of this because there's a Destiny 2 expansion called Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Shadowkeep is a Destiny 2 expansion.
Speaker: Let's put that out up front.
Speaker: We're not talking about Destiny 2 in this series.
Speaker: We're talking about the original Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Not how many angry destiny nerds discover us because of this.
Speaker: I want to.
Speaker: I would like them to stay and listen.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Maybe they'll learn something about something that isn't destiny too.
Speaker: Who knows?
Speaker: I mean, a lot of people like destiny too.
Speaker: So maybe this is like, and by the way, it's not on purpose.
Speaker: It's total accident.
Speaker: We didn't know that destiny to add a shadow keep expansion until like 15 minutes before we started.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Back off, man.
Speaker: Back off, man.
Speaker: We're ancient nerds.
Speaker: We're talking about the CRPG.
Speaker: We're talking about the C, of course, by Spinnaker Software.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Heard of it.
Speaker: Heard of it.
Speaker: Much.
Speaker: Man.
Speaker: By the way, I'm really list.
Speaker: I like the fact that they call our main character man a lot.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Because because they're saying it as if it's like man as in he's a he's a human.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: They're calling him man.
Speaker: But I'm like every time I hear it, it's I hear it like as if it's the dude and like.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Man.
Speaker: And that comes into play with the first character that we notice him do it with, which we'll get to.
Speaker: We'll get to.
Speaker: We don't want to get ahead of ourselves.
Speaker: It makes you think that you're getting into some weird slang here in a fantasy world.
Speaker: So chapter one, let's just dive right into it.
Speaker: Let's do it.
Speaker: Chapter one is set in the city of Sassabri.
Speaker: And some of these names, I'm just guessing how they're pronounced because whatever.
Speaker: There is a, there's a mysterious, this mysterious figure is riding a horse through town.
Speaker: It's actually a mule.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: It's a mule.
Speaker: It's like part mule and part purple demon thing.
Speaker: Well, no, it, it,
Speaker: They said a donkey mixed with an okapi.
Speaker: Okapi?
Speaker: An okapi is a striped, like, it's like related to a giraffe, but it looks more like a horse.
Speaker: All right, this is embarrassing for me.
Speaker: I just, oh my god, that's adorable.
Speaker: I thought I saw, I heard Okapi and I was like, yeah, sure.
Speaker: Fantasy demon crap, right?
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: It's an actual animal.
Speaker: It's an actual animal.
Speaker: It looks like it's almost a zebra.
Speaker: It's like somebody, somebody, somebody started making a zebra and gave up.
Speaker: Oh, they sure did.
Speaker: They went, they got really enthusiastic in the character creation for this animal for about five minutes.
Speaker: It's like, and then they went, fuck it, start the game.
Speaker: So if you don't want to look it up, the, the Okapi is basically, it's like horse sized, except it is clearly in the giraffe family because it has like a, it has a giraffe head.
Speaker: It's just like, imagine a giraffe, but with regular proportions and it's butt is, is butt is that of a zebra.
Speaker: You got an Okapi.
Speaker: I'm so glad that you that you actually knew this because I now have a new favorite animal.
Speaker: This is adorable.
Speaker: Oh, like, oh, just use this almost a zebra, but not quite.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What a cutie.
Speaker: Okay, so half donkey or half mule, whatever.
Speaker: It's a mule that is a crossbreed between a donkey and an okapi, I believe.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Because mules typically are donkey and horse crossbreed.
Speaker: Yes, that's right.
Speaker: And they're sterile.
Speaker: So this is donkey and okapi.
Speaker: Does that pairing work?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Don't think about it.
Speaker: Don't worry.
Speaker: Don't worry about it.
Speaker: Who cares?
Speaker: So he's riding through town.
Speaker: People are kind of like, they're kind of weirded out by him.
Speaker: Just this person in a heavy gray cloak can't even see their features or their hands or whatever.
Speaker: Very ethereal.
Speaker: And he is looking for a man named Shon Stealthed.
Speaker: What a name, by the way.
Speaker: What a name.
Speaker: That is a juicy name.
Speaker: Shown stealthed as the town blacksmith, but at one time, he was the greatest hero anyone had ever known.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: So basically, the stranger is known as the Spinner.
Speaker: And there's really, like I said, there's no description.
Speaker: You think that has something to do with Spinnaker?
Speaker: Like that's a... Yeah, sure.
Speaker: I think it was like...
Speaker: Yeah, fuck it.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: Let's let's say that the spinner is based on Spinnaker, which is the producer of the game, because the spinner is the one who is the producer of this story for the right part.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Precisely.
Speaker: The spinner is like some weird interdimensional being.
Speaker: And he needs a hero.
Speaker: I need a hero.
Speaker: Spooner's holding out for a hero till the end of the night.
Speaker: Yes, literally.
Speaker: Literally.
Speaker: Basically, he needs someone to go into Shadowkeep and stop the demon Dalbrad because wouldn't you know it, Shadowkeep, the dark fortress that everyone knows,
Speaker: Everyone knows Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Everyone knows Shadowkeep and they know not to go there.
Speaker: And it was a fortress built by a wizard with a really mouthful of a name, Gorewithar.
Speaker: Gorewithar, yeah.
Speaker: That's one you say out loud and you're like, oh, I don't care for that one.
Speaker: Gorewithar built the fortress of Shadowkeep so that nobody would bother him while he was studying time and space.
Speaker: Which I think we've all been there.
Speaker: and interdimensional portals.
Speaker: And so go gore with her is like fucking about, he's basically Rick.
Speaker: He's Rick from Rick and Morty.
Speaker: And it's just in his in his little castle he built that's filled with traps and he's studying his portals, his interdimensional portals.
Speaker: And whoops, he accidentally opened one and Demon King Dalbrad came through.
Speaker: And now and Dalbrad has captured Gore with her and is using Shadowkeep as his base of operations to summon a demon army.
Speaker: To take over the world.
Speaker: And the spinner is also from one of these other dimensions that Gorrwither opened.
Speaker: And the spinner's like, yeah, I don't have my power here in this dimension.
Speaker: So I need to hold out for a hero till the end of the night.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And that hero is shown stealthed because that's who everybody has been pointing to.
Speaker: And it's literally it.
Speaker: He's like been talking to people all over the place like you want shown stealth.
Speaker: You want Storn Starf.
Speaker: You want you want Shane Schnaf.
Speaker: You want to go.
Speaker: That's the guy.
Speaker: That's the.
Speaker: Schnaf.
Speaker: Schnaf.
Speaker: the spinner, you know, travels all the way there and shown stealth is like, yeah, not going to do that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Which is what, which is what you get when I just love that.
Speaker: And it's kind of like, it starts out as this very no frills sword sorcery quest where it's like, I need a hero to go to this tower, defeat the demon.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: It's very, it's very of its time.
Speaker: This is written in 1984.
Speaker: This is very of its time.
Speaker: And it's not, it's not like,
Speaker: Too multifaceted.
Speaker: But then you get into something like you find out that usually they're like following a prophecy or like the last time this happened, we needed this great hero and the same one.
Speaker: No, this dude's literally been going from tavern to tavern going, you know, a guy who kicks ass.
Speaker: Does anybody know a guy who kicks ass?
Speaker: He's like, I am an interdimensional being from another world.
Speaker: I can't do anything here.
Speaker: Can somebody point me in the direction of an ass kicker?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's exactly it.
Speaker: And for all he knows, everyone's just pulling a giant prank and sending him to like the local Dwight Schrute for all they know.
Speaker: So he gets there and the spinners really disappointed.
Speaker: And this is this is where the very disappointed.
Speaker: This is where the book kind of I like the turn it takes because it's like shown stealth.
Speaker: If you're talking to hero's journey, shown stealth refuses the call totally and refuses the call.
Speaker: He doesn't he's not going to he's not going to do it.
Speaker: And admittedly, he has good reason.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, I used to be an ass kicker for hire.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: I have a wife and a kid now.
Speaker: And I'm just not going to go.
Speaker: Anyone who goes to this place never comes back.
Speaker: I have to take care of these.
Speaker: I got to take care of these kids, man.
Speaker: No one's going to do it for me.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: And so he's a blacksmith now and he's happy to do it.
Speaker: And if the world ends, then the world ends.
Speaker: But he's not going to leave his family.
Speaker: You know, it's like deep impact, you know, with these.
Speaker: He's Teo Leone sitting on the beach with his dad.
Speaker: Spoilers for a 30-year-old lesser of the two meteor movies that came out that year.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: It ends with Taylor.
Speaker: Natural disaster movies came out in twos when we were young for you.
Speaker: When we were younger, they came out in pairs every year.
Speaker: And wouldn't you know it, the Michael Bay movie was better.
Speaker: Who'd have thunk it?
Speaker: Who'd have thunk it than the really dramatic piece with all the heavy hitting actors.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It was way up its own ass.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They were.
Speaker: Michael Bay had Steve Buscemi and and Bruce Willis and and all that.
Speaker: Ben Affleck and Ben Affleck.
Speaker: Steven Tyler's daughter.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And a song that would bring the nation together for one summer.
Speaker: One summer.
Speaker: Summer.
Speaker: For one summer, no one in America wanted to miss a thing.
Speaker: No, not miss a goddamn thing.
Speaker: And Aerosmith was going to make sure that they didn't have to.
Speaker: Aerosmith was going to keep that promise.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Also, that was like the last big year for Aerosmith.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That was pretty much it.
Speaker: Then they came up with this fucking pink song and it was all over.
Speaker: It was done.
Speaker: That was pretty much a picture wrap on Aerosmith's like.
Speaker: On Aerosmith and their relevance.
Speaker: I mean, they've been around since then, but nobody cares.
Speaker: No one.
Speaker: Nor should they.
Speaker: Nor should they, except on the rock and roller coaster at Disney World.
Speaker: I mean.
Speaker: I mean, well, that's different.
Speaker: That's entirely different.
Speaker: That's entirely different.
Speaker: If you guys could just sit through us doing like five or six more minutes about the rock and roller coaster, they're paying us about $5,000 each.
Speaker: for this promo.
Speaker: That roller coaster is not designed for anyone over six feet tall.
Speaker: I will say.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: It rocked too hard?
Speaker: It rocked and rolled a little too hard for this guy's knees, you know?
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: My knees were jammed up all into the back of the seat in front of me.
Speaker: It was like, anyway, the spinner is very sad.
Speaker: It's kind of a weird like prophet kind of character, isn't it?
Speaker: Like he's like, he's like,
Speaker: I came along this way.
Speaker: That's literally it.
Speaker: He's like, but dude, dude, it's, it's, and it's funny.
Speaker: Cause they described like they, they set them up in these very mysterious ethereal terms.
Speaker: The kids run away from them because one of them sees under his cloak and there's just a void where his face should be.
Speaker: And then five minutes later, he's like, come on, I need you to save the world.
Speaker: It's a very weird kind of a catalyst to our adventure here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So the spinner is like, all right, fine.
Speaker: And he starts leaving.
Speaker: And then he gets tapped on the shoulder by somebody else.
Speaker: And earlier in the scene, Shone's stealth had been
Speaker: talking shit to his apprentice like, give me a give me a flag and a veil and all that all that stuff.
Speaker: His apprentice, a lucky go getter, up and comer, Praktor Feim.
Speaker: What a name.
Speaker: That's another one.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: Praktor Feim goes to the spinner and volunteers.
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: And I sneezed.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Are you allergic to weird names too?
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's getting to me.
Speaker: The dust is getting to me of these names.
Speaker: So Praktor is like, listen, Spinner, baby, I know all the sword shit that that that Shone knows because he taught me.
Speaker: A, B, got no family, you know, and C, you got nobody else.
Speaker: So what other choice do you have, baby?
Speaker: Hey, baby.
Speaker: Babe.
Speaker: He is basically Bobola.
Speaker: Bobola.
Speaker: I'm your white knight.
Speaker: And the spinner just goes, yeah, fuck it.
Speaker: Fine, whatever.
Speaker: And the spinner's like, I'm going to look for other people, but you go.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I have no guarantee.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, I can't stop you, bro.
Speaker: Like, knock yourself out.
Speaker: I have no guarantee that I'm going to be able to send people after you because nobody wants to go.
Speaker: But I'm going to look for other people.
Speaker: Good luck.
Speaker: Practically.
Speaker: It's such a weird exchange.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I love it though.
Speaker: Um, chapter two, um, basically involves Praktor telling Shone that he's quitting and Shone being like, no, you're not.
Speaker: Um, and then Shone locking Praktor in his bedroom.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It's a, it's a serious, like you think about what you've done young man kind of moment.
Speaker: And so so Praktor decides, OK, well, I got to get out of here.
Speaker: He goes out the window, climbs down.
Speaker: Well, it's not a fire escape, but there's like a rain gutter thing on the side of the building that he climbs down.
Speaker: And he's like, well, I'm out.
Speaker: And he escapes and he runs to the inn where his girlfriend is.
Speaker: Ricensee.
Speaker: That is a name.
Speaker: There are a lot of names, but that is a particular name.
Speaker: There's a lot of names in this book.
Speaker: A lot of names.
Speaker: And by the way, I thought it was kind of funny.
Speaker: They introduce her as just the girl.
Speaker: They say the woman.
Speaker: It's kind of sweet romantic.
Speaker: It's like the girl he was looking for had brown hair and was full of life and laughter, and he was smitten.
Speaker: And it's really nice.
Speaker: But they never say her name and we just find it out from him calling her by her name.
Speaker: And it really did.
Speaker: A name like that really made me go, that's what, okay, all right, that's what we're going with.
Speaker: But Ricency.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, Ricency is her.
Speaker: Ricency.
Speaker: Ricency.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This is literally like the game of just like,
Speaker: Slamming your hand down on the keyboard and like going oh that looks like rice and see okay.
Speaker: That's the name.
Speaker: That's the name there we go Spending as much time and the character creator as I do
Speaker: Pretty much.
Speaker: Like see, uh, rice and see default face and spec charisma and onward and moving on.
Speaker: Uh, yeah.
Speaker: Uh, rice and see is described as like, she's fine.
Speaker: She's pretty, but not like, you know, she's fine.
Speaker: She's like, they may as well, but like, she's the girl back home.
Speaker: She's the girl back home.
Speaker: She's not a, she's not a stunner, but she's got a sense of humor.
Speaker: She's she's got a smile and a job, which, you know, what would be important to a guy who's about to quit his who's.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Practor has literally just quit his to go on a fool's errand to invade Shadowkeep, the one castle nobody ever comes back from.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So she's going to work out.
Speaker: This is going to this is going to work out.
Speaker: But basically he's like, he's promising her all these things.
Speaker: He's like, I'm going to go to I'm going to go on this voyage, this trip.
Speaker: He never tells her he's going to Shadowkeep because he says he's delivering a message or something like that.
Speaker: He's like, yeah, I'm going to deliver a message to in the messages to Dal Brad.
Speaker: And it's my foot up his ass.
Speaker: That's the message.
Speaker: She's like, I don't understand a word of that.
Speaker: Sounds good, baby.
Speaker: Sounds good.
Speaker: And then she basically has to go back to work because she's working at an inn.
Speaker: And the innkeeper is like, what are you doing talking to the customers to get back to work?
Speaker: My 15-minute break is over, sweetie.
Speaker: You got to go.
Speaker: You got to go.
Speaker: So he then goes to find a horse.
Speaker: And he goes to an old, the stable keeper, his name's Minza.
Speaker: who doesn't own the stables.
Speaker: He just works at them.
Speaker: And Minza is, he basically lays out his whole thing to Minza.
Speaker: He's like, I'm going to Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Yada, yada, yada.
Speaker: Need a horse.
Speaker: These are my life savings.
Speaker: Minza's like, this will get you a mare.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: The mayor over there.
Speaker: But then he pulls the old, but right next to the mayor is this incredibly fast stallion.
Speaker: It would be a real shame if someone stole the fuck out of it.
Speaker: It would be a shame if the stallion, it's a really quiet stallion.
Speaker: I mean, I wouldn't definitely hear...
Speaker: if the stallion just walked out of here, if and you accidentally took the stallion instead of the mayor that you paid for.
Speaker: Anyway, nothing I'm worried about.
Speaker: I'm going to bed and I'm crashing.
Speaker: So Minta walks away and and practice like, oh, man, I thought I could get the stallion.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, wait a minute.
Speaker: He's telling me to get he's telling me to steal the stallion.
Speaker: They give him, in like D&D terms, he takes a whole round to be like, oh, man.
Speaker: And he's making me take this super cool horse and put it in the place right next to the Marin.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: Wait a minute.
Speaker: That crafty old man.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like a whole beat of just like, oh man, it was fucking, oh.
Speaker: Oh, it dawns on the waves of dawning on him.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I feel like it's written this way to show that Praktor is, he's not the smartest man in the world.
Speaker: No, no, he's our tank.
Speaker: He's our tank.
Speaker: He's our tank.
Speaker: He is the blacksmith's apprentice.
Speaker: He knows how to swing a sword and has a whole lot of gumption.
Speaker: Beyond that, he's got a lot of gumption.
Speaker: We're going to use him to pull swarms.
Speaker: That is it.
Speaker: So move on to Chapter 3, and Praktor is cutting across...
Speaker: Oh, sorry.
Speaker: I just drank too much, uh, Bellby water.
Speaker: Now it's all at once.
Speaker: It's all coming back to you.
Speaker: It's all coming back to me now.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Just these little song references just constantly.
Speaker: It's going to be like, it's going to be a very 80s, 90s kind of book.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, I was waiting for, I tweeted something about how, I don't know why anybody wrote songs about love after Huey Lewis and the News nailed it with the power of love.
Speaker: And I was waiting.
Speaker: I was waiting for our mutual friend, Tim,
Speaker: to say something about Jim Steinman.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: For those of you at home, we just celebrated my bachelor party at this point.
Speaker: It was a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker: And it was me and Kevin and some of my other dear friends.
Speaker: And our buddy Tim went off on a rant, a long rant about the- Long rant.
Speaker: Oh, the wonders of Jim Steinman, the prolific songwriter who wrote all of Meatloaf's best songs, but probably more, he's more well known for writing a lot of Celine Dion's greatest hits as well.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it was beautiful.
Speaker: It was beautiful.
Speaker: So Jim Steinman, you know what about Jim Steinman?
Speaker: I got nothing.
Speaker: I got nothing.
Speaker: I think he was a beautiful man.
Speaker: And for the record, ladies and gentlemen, how did we spend my bachelor party?
Speaker: We drank some wine and we played like a really epic TTRPG session.
Speaker: Yeah, that's how it was meant to go.
Speaker: That's that's how that's how we do it.
Speaker: That's how we do it.
Speaker: Awesome weekend.
Speaker: It was it was so good.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: Chapter three, Praktor.
Speaker: Praktor.
Speaker: What was that character's name?
Speaker: Proctor was the character's name from Police Academy.
Speaker: Proctor is.
Speaker: Yeah, I keep saying I keep seeing Proctor when I read it.
Speaker: I totally keep seeing Proctor.
Speaker: um more 80s references that are just going clearly this is how it was meant to be high and wide over the heads of of anybody younger than 30 listening to the show the youthful audience that tunes in for video game novelization podcasts the youthful audience that tunes it yes
Speaker: by two aging geeks talking about old video game stuff.
Speaker: So Praktar is crossing the Barrens, which is the area outside of their city.
Speaker: Their city's name, again, was Sasabri.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Sassy Sasabri.
Speaker: Sasabri is great.
Speaker: It has farmland.
Speaker: It's beautiful.
Speaker: And then there's this land called the Barrens, which is just like...
Speaker: There's not much there.
Speaker: There's a veld, you know, tall grass and all that stuff.
Speaker: And he's just going and he is accosted.
Speaker: He's suddenly accosted by a group of roos.
Speaker: And what are roos?
Speaker: They are humanoid kangaroo people.
Speaker: And I love it.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Do you know what I love even more?
Speaker: Because, yeah, they're these vegetarian animals
Speaker: Yeah, they're anthropomorphic kangaroos, which is basically just a kangaroo because you can't get too much more human.
Speaker: They stand up and they walk on two legs.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: But I love it because you find out, we're going to find out shortly that there's another race in this world that is basically elves.
Speaker: They're for all intents and purpose elves, but they kind of, I think he out and out says at one point that these are the three major races that
Speaker: in this world humans kind of a weird elf society and kangaroo people yeah that is fucking awesome i'm down for it you know i'm gonna develop a supplement for this for fifth edition dnd yes oh my god shadowkeep needs its own like it needs its own dnd expansion i'm right the f now i am in
Speaker: So far, the world building has been on point.
Speaker: And I need my roos in everything now.
Speaker: I want to play a roo.
Speaker: I want to play a roo rogue.
Speaker: A roo rogue.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that would be fitting, given what we know about the roos.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: So basically the ruse accost him and they're like, we need a favor from you.
Speaker: And he's like, what?
Speaker: Okay, fine.
Speaker: And he just goes with it.
Speaker: He just goes with it because there's like 10 of them and he's not going to fight his way through them anyway.
Speaker: And they take they they they take him down to his encampment and it seems like they're getting ready for some sort of party or something.
Speaker: And they're like, hey, we need you to be to stand in and be our king of the festival tonight.
Speaker: And he's like, excuse me, what does that entail?
Speaker: And our main Rue character, whose name is, what is his name?
Speaker: Oh, it's a weird one.
Speaker: Sranul.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Sranul, I think.
Speaker: He basically says, listen, the Rues are like the hobbits.
Speaker: We have, you know, we basically find any excuse to have a party.
Speaker: That is awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And one of our favorite things to do is to go out and like kidnap someone who like because they're like a nomadic Romani style society.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And one of our favorite things to do is go out and kidnap somebody who isn't from the society and make them the king of the celebration.
Speaker: And you've got to like and you're hosting us and we're hosting you and you're the king of the celebration.
Speaker: And you and your only job is to say, let the festivities begin.
Speaker: And so they basically have him sit down on like a fake throne or whatever.
Speaker: And he was like, let the festivities begin.
Speaker: And everybody loses their shit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The wild rumpus begins.
Speaker: Like, I got to say, I loved this little detour.
Speaker: So much.
Speaker: So much.
Speaker: For as weird as the names are in this book, the writing is tremendous.
Speaker: And the places that he goes, Alan Dean Foster goes with the story.
Speaker: Because as I said, as I think I mentioned before, there is no real plot to the game.
Speaker: It's you got to go to Shadowkeep and kill the thing.
Speaker: And that's pretty much it.
Speaker: And so this is all Alan Dean Foster just making stuff up.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: And he's like, he's like, all right, well, you get these these ruse and they like to party.
Speaker: And that's that's their whole thing.
Speaker: It's like we've barely begun the adventure because you said it perfectly.
Speaker: We barely begun the adventure and already we've got a detour.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I'm thrilled about it.
Speaker: Like he is.
Speaker: He is.
Speaker: He is barely started.
Speaker: And instead of continuing on the main path, he is side questing already.
Speaker: Pretty much.
Speaker: Which I think you and I can both relate with.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because you and I are side quester extraordinaires.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: I side quest so much that when I finally come back to the main quest line, I'm like 50 levels above it.
Speaker: Yeah, just roll right through it.
Speaker: Just burn through the main quest line and get back to more side quests.
Speaker: That's exactly what we start out with here.
Speaker: So he he's the king of the festivities and they just feed him.
Speaker: They they are just feeding him piles and piles and piles of food.
Speaker: And he is unable to.
Speaker: He's like unable to keep eating and he's trying to sneak out.
Speaker: And Saranar is like, hey, buddy, you're not supposed to leave.
Speaker: We're still, you know, we're still partying.
Speaker: We'll finish partying at like midnight.
Speaker: Like just just chill.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: At midnight, you're good and you can leave if you have to.
Speaker: If you have to.
Speaker: We literally get a scene of him like hiding from someone because her food is too good.
Speaker: It's too good and he can't eat any more of it.
Speaker: He just can't do it.
Speaker: It's amazing.
Speaker: It's so much.
Speaker: This is just this is like this is pure legend willow like like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That era of of fantasy where it's just like.
Speaker: Where they weren't afraid to go with some really goofy kind of races and species.
Speaker: You know, like nowadays, everything's a variation on a dwarf and an elf.
Speaker: And there's nothing wrong with that.
Speaker: There's room for that.
Speaker: But this was the time when they were like, yeah, kangaroo people, we're doing it.
Speaker: I am surprised that he did not write the novelization for Willow, speaking of.
Speaker: I am also, I mean, he already worked with George Lucas.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: You'd think that would be a shoe-in.
Speaker: Yeah, Wayland Drew is the.
Speaker: I read that one.
Speaker: I remember reading that one when I was a kid.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And hey, Willow is getting more.
Speaker: Willow is being turned into a series.
Speaker: I'm excited about that.
Speaker: I'm going to keep my excitement in check as much as I can.
Speaker: Keep the expectations low.
Speaker: But hey, what's his face?
Speaker: Get his back as Willow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: And they were talking about it on Oops All Monsters.
Speaker: And they mentioned like how he just seems like what's his name?
Speaker: That actor.
Speaker: He's fantastic.
Speaker: He just seems like a really nice guy who's like super grateful for the roles he's had.
Speaker: Warwick Davis.
Speaker: Warwick Davis.
Speaker: Apparently he met his wife on the set of Willow.
Speaker: Huh.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like, like they, but it's like, but it was weird.
Speaker: Like they met and they were friends for a while and then they got married later down the line.
Speaker: It's just fucking cool, man.
Speaker: It's cute.
Speaker: I love Willow.
Speaker: I'm going to have to watch Willow soon.
Speaker: So more Warwick Davis coming along, but hell yes.
Speaker: Warwick Davis is not in this.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So basically, Sranar is like, listen, you know what?
Speaker: I think also I want to come with you.
Speaker: And and Praktor is like, sure.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: I literally cannot stop you.
Speaker: But he does say it's kind of sweet.
Speaker: He's like, I it is kind of nice for you to come with me because I didn't realize how lonely this was going.
Speaker: This is probably going to be very lonely and I'm going to need some people with me.
Speaker: And right.
Speaker: So Sranar is like and traveling companions should be complimentary anyway, because Sranar can move really fast and jump really high.
Speaker: But
Speaker: Because of the shape of his body, he can't like crawl on his belly like a human can.
Speaker: Like to get basically describes, you know, the key to good party balance in D&D.
Speaker: Yeah, he's like, he's like, if you're wondering how to balance your party, here's a tutorial.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: This is a rope.
Speaker: He can't be he he can't take a lot of hits, but he can get in some wonderful critical damage.
Speaker: Meanwhile, this tank over here will take the damage for him.
Speaker: Like just exactly.
Speaker: So the next morning they get up, they eat a tremendous breakfast, almost to the point of throwing up again.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: They set off on their way and Saranar is like, listen, we got I'm thinking more about Shadowkeep and, you know, we're going to need some a little extra help.
Speaker: We're going to need somebody who can who can.
Speaker: I the way he said it made me think it was like see into the future, but it's not seeing into the future.
Speaker: It's basically just they need somebody who's really, really smart and can intuit like what's going to what's going to happen next.
Speaker: And it's not it's not like it's not like a mystic who is seeing into the future.
Speaker: And that's where they they he comes up with the idea.
Speaker: And this is we're in.
Speaker: We're still in Chapter three.
Speaker: That's when they come up the idea to travel to the city of Socalia.
Speaker: which is the home of the Thalidar people.
Speaker: And they talk, there's a little aside, Practor is thinking about how the Thaladars are the descendants of elves.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: A long time ago, there were elves.
Speaker: And eventually, through generations, there's the Thaladars who are related to elves, but they're not, they aren't literally the elves.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: They have the pointy ears and all that, and they live fucking forever.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: I mean, that's what's funny is they are effectively elves.
Speaker: They're effectively elves, but they're not the elves of this world.
Speaker: They live forever.
Speaker: They're kind of wispy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The big thing that they push, and I love, this is another detail, this is another bit of world building that I loved, like they are polite to a fault.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like etiquette is, you know, like at one point, one of them says, you are being very, um,
Speaker: Like not disagreeable.
Speaker: Disagreeable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And everyone's like, you know, just, just, it's like, you called him the C word or something like this.
Speaker: Fainting couches are brought out.
Speaker: It's, you know, it is wonderful.
Speaker: It's, it's an amazing moment.
Speaker: So basically Praktor and Sranul and Sranul is as a Rue is very like, he is an extrovert extrovert.
Speaker: He is like, let's,
Speaker: Let's fucking go, man.
Speaker: And that's another thing is Serrano keeps referring to Praktor.
Speaker: He has like that.
Speaker: He ends his sentences with man when he calls Praktor.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Which is I feel like he's saying that as like he's just saying that to kind of say Praktor is a human like man, like you are a man.
Speaker: But in my head, the way Serrano is also written.
Speaker: He really gives me dude vibes.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Well, that's just your opinion, man.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's totally Srannell's vibe.
Speaker: And so him calling him man all the time.
Speaker: And I didn't even think, I just honestly thought it was part of the slang until I noticed that one of the, that the Thanador people started calling him man as well.
Speaker: I was like, oh, they mean like human, mortal, whatever.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I loved it.
Speaker: I was getting like some Frank Miller vibes, like the way he would write in The Dark Knight Rises, like he wrote the street punks and their weird slang and everything.
Speaker: It was that kind of thing.
Speaker: It was, oh yeah, yeah, I love it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So they get to Socalia and because Serrano is like that, Serrano is like Serrano is the one who convinced Praktur to go there.
Speaker: But then they get there and everybody is just ignoring them, like not even talking to them, just carrying about with their business.
Speaker: And Serrano is like, like, OK, here's what I'm going to do.
Speaker: I'm going to pick a fucking fight with him.
Speaker: That's exactly it.
Speaker: He's so sick of it.
Speaker: He's so sick of it.
Speaker: It was his idea and he's immediately annoyed.
Speaker: He's like, I'm going to fight one of these fucking elves.
Speaker: I'm going to punch one of these elves in the face.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then they get interrupted by a female, Thaladar, who is stunningly beautiful.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: Just basically stops them in their tracks with her beauty.
Speaker: Um, and we meet her officially in chapter four.
Speaker: Her name is Merrill.
Speaker: And she's basically like, you guys are causing a scene and need to follow me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's like, they're like, guys are going to get shot.
Speaker: There's like, they're just ignoring us.
Speaker: And we're like, they're not ignoring you.
Speaker: They're just not engaging with you.
Speaker: There's a difference.
Speaker: It's.
Speaker: She's like the one cool headed person on Twitter.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm not engaging with trolls.
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: That's just not what they do.
Speaker: So I'm going to slip into your DMS and tell you to get the fuck out.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Merrill is like, all right, come on guys, follow me.
Speaker: And she takes her to takes them to her, you know, her, her crummy apartment.
Speaker: No, I'm sorry.
Speaker: I mean her fucking mansion palace.
Speaker: God damn palace.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And and Praktar and Rue are like, OK, who are you?
Speaker: Are you royalty?
Speaker: And she's like, nah, no, we're just we're just they're sages.
Speaker: She comes from a family of sages, which literally their job is advice.
Speaker: That is their whole job.
Speaker: It's just giving advice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And they're paid very well for it.
Speaker: And people give them a lot of money for their advice because they're very good at giving advice.
Speaker: And basically Meryl takes them in and they meet Meryl's grandmother.
Speaker: And Meryl's grandmother basically gives us a real outside of the spinner, gives us our first real expedition, exposition dump of the story where she's like, oh, yes, no, the Thaladar people are like,
Speaker: kind of aware of what's going down at Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Like we're we understand we know something's going down and she has been trying to convince the Socalia City Council to like, hey, we need to send a party there to go investigate Shadowkeep.
Speaker: And the Thaladar are like, nah, if we stay in our city, we'll be fine.
Speaker: Like they think they think Socalia is basically impregnable.
Speaker: Like they're not going to they're not going to have any issues with with Dalbrad or whatever.
Speaker: If if they if Dalbrad breaks out of Shadowkeep and starts expanding his reach.
Speaker: So they she gives us this like full rundown of of what's going on.
Speaker: And Meryl is like, I can't give you advice on Shadowkeep because we haven't been there.
Speaker: And we don't give advice on things we don't know.
Speaker: She's like somebody.
Speaker: Which is, wow, I wish more people were like that.
Speaker: These people are my fucking heroes.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: They don't give advice and opinions on things that which they don't know.
Speaker: I feel like there's a, I just learned a Latin phrase for that.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: for not knowing.
Speaker: I swear, I just saw it today too.
Speaker: I feel like it was on Twitter, but basically there's a Latin phrase where it's like, it's the philosophy of basically not speaking, giving advice or opinion on things that you don't know.
Speaker: And I'm like, then I read this today, I was like, holy shit, it's like the same concept of like- That's exactly it.
Speaker: It's just like, well,
Speaker: This is some kind of, this is, this is the, we, we, we live in a world here that has talking kangaroos and this is the least realistic thing in the entire book so far.
Speaker: So,
Speaker: The grandmother's like, well, I can't go.
Speaker: But Meryl can go because she's young and she's hot and she can handle herself.
Speaker: Meryl, by the way, being the most normal name we've seen so far.
Speaker: Most normal name we've seen so far.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Praktor is like vaguely sexist about it.
Speaker: He's like, oh, well, I thought we could get a man or blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: And then.
Speaker: And Meryl's like, Meryl doesn't take the bait.
Speaker: She's just like, you know, she intellectually judos him into being embarrassed.
Speaker: She kind of does that thing that I've seen people like say that you ought to do, but I've never seen it in person where if someone tells like a racist joke, you feign ignorance and force them to explain it.
Speaker: She kind of does that.
Speaker: She's like, oh, it's interesting that you don't think I should do it because I'm a woman.
Speaker: Why is that?
Speaker: Like she basically does that.
Speaker: It's pretty impressive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was like, all right, I'm a fan of Merrill.
Speaker: Big time.
Speaker: Love her.
Speaker: So they break down.
Speaker: They go into mission breakdown mode.
Speaker: So the grandmother and then Merrill's mother, who I didn't write her name down.
Speaker: I feel like it was Farrell's.
Speaker: It was something like that.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: I'm going to find it.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: Yeah, they get the grandmother.
Speaker: And then at the last minute they were like, oh, we should do the whole family here for a second.
Speaker: And it is something like Feral.
Speaker: It's like Feral's.
Speaker: uh Merrill it's literally Farrell it's Farrell okay Merrill Farrell and the grandmother basically there's like here's everything we know about Shadowkeep from what we've heard um and then they kind of drop the bomb that like uh Practor is like well where are the men folk where are your you know I see three generations of women but and the grandmother's like
Speaker: Yeah, they went to shadow keep and died.
Speaker: So they didn't even go.
Speaker: And she points out, she's like, they didn't even go there to like fight.
Speaker: They get they went there to get information.
Speaker: They just went there to investigate and they died.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And they're they are dead.
Speaker: So and practice like, oh, yeah, cool.
Speaker: Because I was planning on fighting the demon with my fisty fists.
Speaker: I'm starting to think that might not work out.
Speaker: So they go to bed.
Speaker: Yeah, so they crash.
Speaker: They crash.
Speaker: I was like, that's the end of that.
Speaker: The next day, they try to leave Socalia, which every time I see Socalia, I think I see, in my head, I see Scalia, as in former, the late- Like Justice Scalia?
Speaker: Yeah, the late Chief, the late Justice of the Supreme Court, Antonin Scalia, that piece of shit.
Speaker: Yeah, that garbage human being.
Speaker: He was a garbage piece of shit.
Speaker: He was an amazing writer, but fuck him.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: He had probably some of the more entertaining opinions ever written on the Supreme Court, but he was a piece of shit.
Speaker: Piece of shit.
Speaker: Anyway, Antonin Scalia...
Speaker: they try to leave Antonin Scalia the next day.
Speaker: We all wished we could.
Speaker: We all wished we could.
Speaker: Um, but RBG stops them.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Supreme Court, huh?
Speaker: Fuck them, right?
Speaker: Fuck them, you know?
Speaker: Whatever.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: I hope, gosh, Kevin, I sure do hope that this isn't somebody's first episode and they get really upset over our childish liberal ranting.
Speaker: Fuck them.
Speaker: Somebody was saying that like we don't we get a little too hung up on the institution like that an institution continues to exist.
Speaker: Like nobody is happy with the Supreme Court.
Speaker: Nobody likes it.
Speaker: Nobody.
Speaker: It's got like a it's like 20.
Speaker: It had a 25 percent approval rating before the decision.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And yeah, it was like, why do we keep it?
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: Why can't we just like say you're gone?
Speaker: You're we're ignoring you.
Speaker: Moving on.
Speaker: Got to move on.
Speaker: We can find a new plan because no one wants to do the work.
Speaker: No one wants to do the work.
Speaker: No one wants to actually go in and change the goddamn oil.
Speaker: But you know who does want to do the work?
Speaker: And that is that's that's Nancy Pelosi and and sending out that email asking for more money.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: When she read that poem, I knew everything was going to be OK.
Speaker: Everything was going to be OK.
Speaker: Oh, anyway, they try to leave Socalia.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: You thought you could escape?
Speaker: You thought you could get a single episode without a leftist rant?
Speaker: Fuck you.
Speaker: You naive simpleton.
Speaker: Fuck you.
Speaker: That's for you, the guy who rated us one star.
Speaker: I doubt he is still listening.
Speaker: I hope you're still a fan.
Speaker: Oh, so they try to leave Socalia.
Speaker: Yeah, they get out.
Speaker: Yeah, they're going.
Speaker: They're on their way out.
Speaker: They're on their way out.
Speaker: And the Thaladar guards are like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker: No, she can't go with you.
Speaker: She's staying here.
Speaker: And this is where Meryl drops the the what's it?
Speaker: Disagreeable.
Speaker: The D word.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: It's the D word.
Speaker: but it's discourteous.
Speaker: Discourteous.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You are being so discourteous and the people- Everyone gasps.
Speaker: Everyone gasps at her calling the guard discourteous.
Speaker: I fucking love this book so much.
Speaker: I want to play one of these characters.
Speaker: I want to make a character based on this, based on like a high elven society where like they'd rather have like bamboo shims like slit up their fingernails than to be anything less than highly polite.
Speaker: That sounds like so much fun.
Speaker: What a fun character that would be.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: So basically, Praktor and Sranel have to leave Meryl behind.
Speaker: They won't let her go.
Speaker: So they leave and they're like, well, I guess we tried.
Speaker: And we're, you know, it was a long shot anyway.
Speaker: And but we gave it our best shot.
Speaker: And later that night, they make an encampment.
Speaker: And they're sitting there by the fire and they're just sitting there talking shit about the Thaladar people.
Speaker: And Seranil is like, yeah, she was pretty good for a Thaladarian person.
Speaker: And from out of nowhere, Meryld appears and says, you're pretty good for a Rue too.
Speaker: And I was like, what?
Speaker: And Meryl is like, basically, he's like, yeah, we just, you know, I snuck out at night after my mom and grandma gave the the Council of Elders a what for about spying on us and and all that stuff.
Speaker: And then I just vanished into the night.
Speaker: And they're like, oh, yeah.
Speaker: And meanwhile, Praktor's having all these impure thoughts.
Speaker: Oh, big time.
Speaker: How quickly has he forgotten about the plain girl with the great laugh back home?
Speaker: Egg.
Speaker: He is hot to trot for this girl.
Speaker: He has forgotten about egg and... Her?
Speaker: Her?
Speaker: Ricency.
Speaker: Ricency, which actually sounds like a vitamin deficiency.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We're sorry, you have ricensee, but if you eat an orange in the morning, you should be fine.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yar.
Speaker: I need an orange for my ricensee.
Speaker: For me ricensee.
Speaker: The girl back home, ricensee may cause liver damage.
Speaker: Yar.
Speaker: But anyway, he's like, Praktor is like, God, she is hot, basically.
Speaker: God, it's over and over.
Speaker: Like, since he's met her, there's been like one a page where he's like, I'm having impure thoughts again.
Speaker: And she knows it.
Speaker: She fucking knows it.
Speaker: Like, she's winking and flirting at him and all that.
Speaker: Oh, she's having so much.
Speaker: Because she's probably like 80 years old, by the way.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: She is so much older than him.
Speaker: She looks his age.
Speaker: She looks like, because Praktor is like 20.
Speaker: And she looks the same age as him, but she's like four times the same.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like when you're a grown ass adult and your buddy's like kid is like, you can tell he has like a crush on your, on your wife or something like that.
Speaker: And you're like, Oh, that's cute.
Speaker: Like that's clearly what she's like treating him as.
Speaker: And it's like, you better get a, get your ass home to, to Janicey.
Speaker: Uh, who, who,
Speaker: who will not rock your world the way my 80-year-old self will.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's lithe.
Speaker: And the most gorgeous woman that Practor or Strattel has ever seen, basically.
Speaker: But no, she's no scurvy.
Speaker: Scurvy is stability.
Speaker: Scurvy can cook.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Scurvy can cook.
Speaker: She's stable.
Speaker: She's there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's steady.
Speaker: She will not wake you up at three in the morning with a gun to your head and your cell phone in your face going, who is this bitch who texted you?
Speaker: And it's your mom.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But, you know, six out of ten in bed.
Speaker: So whatever.
Speaker: It was very specific, Phil.
Speaker: I just, I just, I just, I'm really, I'm really afraid right now.
Speaker: Oh, so they, they wake up the next morning and they get their travel on.
Speaker: And, and, and, uh, Saranar is like, hold on.
Speaker: We get some more shit to deal with coming up.
Speaker: And they're like, we don't hear anything.
Speaker: And they continue on through the forest.
Speaker: And Srenner's like, just, you know, keep your wits about you.
Speaker: And they they peek up over a little cliffside that they get to.
Speaker: And wouldn't you know it in the path they have to continue on.
Speaker: There's goblins.
Speaker: fighting like goblins do.
Speaker: Just go goblining.
Speaker: That is what they're known for.
Speaker: Just goblining up.
Speaker: And, you know, and I just imagine that these are like the goblins from Rude Tales of Magic that just like they that like when you when you kill them, they just like explode into like into like piss and shit.
Speaker: I want that to be the case.
Speaker: Yeah, I want that.
Speaker: And by the way, why hasn't that campaign supplement been written?
Speaker: Yeah, I need a Rude Tales campaign.
Speaker: If you guys make it, I will run that game.
Speaker: I will run the shit out of that game.
Speaker: So and that's how the chapter ends.
Speaker: They're like, basically, they see the goblins off of the distance.
Speaker: And we got a dun dun dun dun.
Speaker: And yeah, that'll do it for the book so far.
Speaker: So far.
Speaker: How are you feeling?
Speaker: I love this book so fucking much.
Speaker: Like, this is legend.
Speaker: This is Krull.
Speaker: This is like every... And he wrote the goddamn adaptation to Krull.
Speaker: And it's like, this is...
Speaker: It's like you've got your motley crew of different raced characters.
Speaker: You've got your fighter.
Speaker: You've got your ranger rogue kind of character.
Speaker: And you've got a mage of some sort, but she's not even really a mage.
Speaker: She's just smart mage.
Speaker: So we're not even getting into magic just yet, if that even exists in this world.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But it's like we are just gathering our party and going on an adventure.
Speaker: It's simple.
Speaker: It is straightforward.
Speaker: And I'm just having so much fun with it so far.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What about you?
Speaker: I love it so far.
Speaker: It's really fun.
Speaker: I mean, the characters are the characters have so much life to them.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You can you can really each of them is distinct in their own way.
Speaker: Praktor is basically this naive, but he's got a lot of piss and vinegar.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Young, dumb and full of cum Praktor, basically.
Speaker: He's ready to go kill some demons.
Speaker: And then you got Sranel, who is just a party dude.
Speaker: You know, he's he's the Michelangelo.
Speaker: I was about to say he's the Michelangelo of the world.
Speaker: And you got Merrill, who is, I guess, the Donatello of.
Speaker: Yeah, I'd say the clever.
Speaker: But with more sex appeal.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's like Donatello plus Raphael.
Speaker: Because, you know, Raphael.
Speaker: There you go.
Speaker: Raphael Fox.
Speaker: So there's only three.
Speaker: There's only three of them.
Speaker: So you got to merge Raphael and Donatello and practice Leonardo.
Speaker: But with less leadership skills.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Less of literally.
Speaker: But still kind of wholesome and sweet.
Speaker: Kind of wholesome, but, you know, just less talented in most metrics compared to Leonardo.
Speaker: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker: And that's our party.
Speaker: I think that's our party so far.
Speaker: I think that might be it.
Speaker: I don't know if they're going to get any more on their way.
Speaker: In the game, you get like 10 party members, don't you?
Speaker: I think you get a lot more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, but I don't think we're good.
Speaker: I think we're good.
Speaker: Yeah, we're good.
Speaker: Three is a nice number.
Speaker: It's a strong number.
Speaker: It's a nice round number.
Speaker: And our next chapter is clearly leading to some combat or a confrontation of some sort.
Speaker: So I think we're good on PCs at this point.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I love it too.
Speaker: So we're going to keep reading through Shadowkeep.
Speaker: Now for our new favorite segment.
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: Hell yes.
Speaker: So what are you playing, Phil?
Speaker: I am about, I'm just about wrapped up with Dead Space 3 right now.
Speaker: Oh, nice.
Speaker: I, yeah, when we started reading the Dead Space novel last year, that was a blind spot for me with horror games and I'm
Speaker: I'm a big nerd for horror.
Speaker: Uh, so as I mentioned, I think on the show, I, I, I played through one and two.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Uh, and, and then I kind of put off three and, uh, but you know, you hear that I'd heard that three is just a real, you know, piece of shit compared to one and two and everything like that.
Speaker: And, and I gotta say, it's not,
Speaker: great um yeah but not bad either it's it's like yeah it's not great it's it pales especially when you compare it to two yes two is the mvp as you when you basically look at it in a vacuum it's fine it's yeah it's good no i and and part of it i think is is is
Speaker: when you compare its microtransaction bullshit, and it is bullshit, to how things are nowadays.
Speaker: Yeah, you can't even do microtransactions anymore because that's the problem is the game was built around these microtransactions.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I don't even think the servers work for those anymore.
Speaker: But the thing for me is that in Dead Space, I was never... I kind of stuck to, like, the shotgun weapon and just the regular... What do you call it?
Speaker: Oh, the... Yeah.
Speaker: I know what you mean.
Speaker: I stuck to those.
Speaker: It's just a shotgun to take care of the little scatter monsters.
Speaker: And otherwise, I was perfectly good with the original gun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think...
Speaker: I think the thing that is annoying the fuck out of me in the third one is the plot line of basically people willing to have their entire team and mission die horrifically because you're jealous of your girlfriend's ex.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: I think that's almost as fucking stupid as...
Speaker: treating a character whose plot line was largely wrapped up in a previous franchise and acting like she's still crazy and murdering a bunch of people in callous and cruel ways, even though her plot line was wrapped up nicely, just because you wanted to make your own version of the dark goddamn Phoenix.
Speaker: Sorry, I may have watched the new Doctor Strange movie and I was less than impressed with it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm also playing the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game.
Speaker: Oh, great.
Speaker: That you purchased for me for my bachelor party weekend.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm glad.
Speaker: It's great.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: It's so much fun.
Speaker: It's like this great kind of amalgamation of, you know, Turtles in Time and the Turtles the arcade game with a lot of its own stuff.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, it's really heavily based in the cartoon and it's really goofy and funny and it feels it's a blast to play.
Speaker: And you can do it really simple button mashy style if you want.
Speaker: But you could, but they've also put in like dodges and, and you know, not parries or anything like that, but it's a, it's more complex if you want it to be, but you absolutely don't need to, if you want, if you want to just get in there and, you know, shove a quarter in your, in your desktop and, you know,
Speaker: beat some foot soldiers asses it's a great option so that's awesome I saw you can play as either Casey Jones or April O'Neil as well yes you've got Splinter and April O'Neil and eventually you can unlock Casey Jones and it's fun it's really it's just it's a terrific like spiritual successor it feels good to play it doesn't it's not up its own ass it's great it's great
Speaker: What about you?
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: You know what's funny, by the way, is Casey Jones, I assume, is a... I didn't put it together until recently that Casey Jones was a knockoff of the DC Comics villain Sportsmaster, I believe.
Speaker: Was he?
Speaker: I knew about the Ronin stuff and the Daredevil stuff.
Speaker: I didn't know about the Sportsmaster thing.
Speaker: Just Google Sportsmaster.
Speaker: Just take a moment.
Speaker: He's a DC villain?
Speaker: He's a DC villain, yeah.
Speaker: LNM sports master.
Speaker: Lawrence Crusher Croc.
Speaker: What a name.
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: That's totally... Hockey mask and everything.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Like, I know that when they made Ninja Turtles, they were making fun of the Daredevil arc that was going on at the time.
Speaker: Like, instead of the hand, it's the foot.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But I never noticed this.
Speaker: Oh, that's funny.
Speaker: Oh, he's been around for a long time, too.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: First appearance, All-American Comics number 85 in 1947.
Speaker: Holy cow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Sportsmaster, I believe, is the inspiration for Casey Jones.
Speaker: I'm not I could be wrong, but, you know, like the visuals like dead on.
Speaker: Oh, absolutely.
Speaker: I mean, it's yeah.
Speaker: It's like gone a little more futuristic at times with him, but that's pretty much it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, OK, what have I been playing?
Speaker: I'm trying to remember what I talked to you about last time.
Speaker: Did I tell you about Neon White?
Speaker: No, but I saw that you posted a review of it on our Steam group.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: It's a lit Steam group, ladies and gentlemen.
Speaker: We have a Steam curator page now and a Steam group.
Speaker: So you can follow our curation and join our Steam group.
Speaker: But yeah, I'm not familiar with this game.
Speaker: So Neon White is a...
Speaker: First person speed running game.
Speaker: If you know of Mirror's Edge, it has gameplay similar to Mirror's Edge.
Speaker: But the point is to try to get through these levels as fast as possible.
Speaker: OK, so it's I called it.
Speaker: I called it an asynchronous racing game.
Speaker: Basically, you have these you can
Speaker: beat the level in a certain time and you get a certain rank and you're compared against all your friends and all that stuff.
Speaker: So it's like you're racing each other, but you're never playing at the same time.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But it's it's it's a first person platforming speed running game.
Speaker: And it's it's really cool.
Speaker: Story is terrible.
Speaker: Dialogue is terrible.
Speaker: Like you can mostly skip it.
Speaker: That's not what you're here for.
Speaker: That's not what you're here for.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Neon White, I gave it a thumbs up, even though I would legitimately say just ignore most of what is happening in the plot.
Speaker: Just so you can skip through and get back to playing the sweet, sweet platforming goodness.
Speaker: So I beat Neon White.
Speaker: And then this past week, I beat the quarry.
Speaker: Oh, how'd you like that?
Speaker: That looked great.
Speaker: That looks like a lot of fun.
Speaker: I loved the quarry.
Speaker: It is the spiritual successor, supermassive spiritual successor to Until Dawn.
Speaker: Loved Until Dawn.
Speaker: And it's not like supermassive hasn't been doing things in between Until Dawn and the quarry.
Speaker: They've been putting out
Speaker: It feels like every year they've been putting out a game in their little horror anthology, Dark Pictures anthology.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like Man of Medan.
Speaker: Man of Medan.
Speaker: And the most recent one was House of Ashes.
Speaker: House of Ashes was was really good.
Speaker: That was a really solid game.
Speaker: I love the quarry, though.
Speaker: It is set in a summer camp.
Speaker: It's present day and it's in upstate New York.
Speaker: Basically, there are werewolves out there and it's bad news, man.
Speaker: And you got to try to you got to try to save all the kids.
Speaker: And I played through the game completely once so far.
Speaker: And I just started a second playthrough the other day.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: You went right back into it.
Speaker: I took a couple of days and I went back into it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: OK.
Speaker: And I'm trying like different options because I killed three kids.
Speaker: Got got.
Speaker: I lost three kids out of out of the.
Speaker: So it actually tallies also the NPCs that you can keep alive as well.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So there's, and I also, so yeah, I lost three of the counselors and out of seven.
Speaker: So I think there was only four left.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's passing.
Speaker: That's passing.
Speaker: Or nine, actually nine total.
Speaker: Even better.
Speaker: So there was, I think, six of the counselors left.
Speaker: And then what happens?
Speaker: Oh, there is like five NPC characters that you can keep alive.
Speaker: And but they all died.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: OK.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So maybe not that great.
Speaker: Not a great rating on that one.
Speaker: So I'm trying it again, making some different decisions.
Speaker: How long did it take you to run through the first time?
Speaker: It's like 10 hours.
Speaker: OK, and probably even shorter than that.
Speaker: I think some of that is like me, like leaving the pause on for a couple hours or an hour or two.
Speaker: The only problem with it I have so far is that it doesn't allow you to kind of like fast forward through some of the dialogue.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: And just like like I just need to get to the choice because I know I'm making the opposite choice this time.
Speaker: I don't need to hear all the dialogue again.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But other than that, yeah, I really like the quarry.
Speaker: It was it's a good time.
Speaker: And I'm on my second playthrough right now and trying to get all the clues and all the collectibles and and stuff like that.
Speaker: Going that quickly into a second playthrough to me is always one of the best recommendations I think a game can get.
Speaker: Yeah, I was like, oh, I gotta do it.
Speaker: I do have one of the rarest achievements for the game, though, apparently.
Speaker: I don't know how I got it.
Speaker: It's one it's an achievement called Nobody's Fool.
Speaker: And basically this one character tells another character the truth about the situation that they're in.
Speaker: And apparently I think it's so rare because you have to have made a certain set of decisions.
Speaker: So you just stumbled into it.
Speaker: I stumbled into it.
Speaker: These characters, basically, I think otherwise these two characters would not be in the situation where one admits to the, like they wouldn't even be together in this one spot otherwise.
Speaker: So, um, yeah, that's basically when that happens.
Speaker: So I ended up with this really rare achievement.
Speaker: Only 4% of players have gotten it.
Speaker: Um, yeah,
Speaker: That happens to be so frequently where it's just like, you got this achievement.
Speaker: Oh, great.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: And you look and you're like, oh, I'm one of four people with this one.
Speaker: I can't believe I pulled that off.
Speaker: Otherwise, I dipped back into Vampire Survivors a little bit.
Speaker: Same.
Speaker: Because I had to.
Speaker: They updated it.
Speaker: So I had to.
Speaker: Oh, and I also finally started playing Cruelty Squad.
Speaker: How do you like it?
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: I'm not sure.
Speaker: It's weird.
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: Just just no.
Speaker: And so it's I can't describe the feeling of playing Cruelty Squad.
Speaker: Adequately such a mind.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: It is like the amount of effort put into the game to make it look like that is astounding.
Speaker: And the gameplay has a lot of good elements to it.
Speaker: There's a lot of there's some wonkiness to the controls that.
Speaker: That's also probably intentional.
Speaker: Everything about it, it's like a it's a thesis on intentionality.
Speaker: You know, it's like, OK, everything you're seeing is done specifically to evoke an emotion that's not necessarily fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's the name.
Speaker: That's the name.
Speaker: Cruelty Squad.
Speaker: And basically, yeah, it's an immersive sim.
Speaker: It's got 13 levels.
Speaker: I, you know, I'm I beat the first level and I started on the second.
Speaker: And I think I'm just going to play through it and see what's up.
Speaker: But it is my pass on this one.
Speaker: No, you don't.
Speaker: I don't play it.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't.
Speaker: I don't think this is for.
Speaker: I don't think it's for you.
Speaker: I don't think it's for you.
Speaker: This doesn't feel like a Phil game.
Speaker: This doesn't feel like.
Speaker: No, I does not.
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: I think normally I have a pretty good.
Speaker: Normally I have a pretty good sense for Phil games and.
Speaker: You do not a Phil game.
Speaker: You've, you've, you've typically called it pretty well.
Speaker: And this doesn't, I think this is, this is one of those things where I just kind of throw my hands up the Seinfeld gift.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, uh, so yeah, that's what I've been playing recently.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So that'll do it for tonight's episode.
Speaker: If you can, if you have the wherewithal to the gumption, the moxie, please follow us on social media at Pixlet Pod on both Twitter and Instagram.
Speaker: And give a visit to our website, Pixlet Pod.
Speaker: where you can read transcripts of every episode.
Speaker: I post transcripts of the episode.
Speaker: Sure, they're automated.
Speaker: Sure, they have some wild misspellings of some of the things we say.
Speaker: Oh, it's fun.
Speaker: Oh, it's fun to read those things.
Speaker: It is the best I can do for an hour and a half of content every week is to use Premiere's automated transcripts and
Speaker: do it no it's it's there for you uh so check out the transcript on transcripts on pixlet pod you from there you can find links to our discord i do have to add a link to our steam group on the website so oh yeah yeah direct a drink like direct link from the the website to the steam group uh but yeah so that's uh yeah pixletpod.com check it out and rate us five stars on spotify and apple
Speaker: Or if your podcatcher has a rating system, please rate us five stars on that.
Speaker: It really helps us out.
Speaker: And what helps us out the most is sharing.
Speaker: Word of mouth is how podcasts grow.
Speaker: Sharing is caring.
Speaker: Sharing is caring.
Speaker: Until next week, have a good night, everybody.
Speaker: Bye.
