Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Russell Jones Speaks, where we explore big issues that matter to parents, grandparents, and kids. We tackle intergenerational issues. Everything that affects parents, grands, and children is on the table.
Speaker: That includes health and fitness, relationships, attitude, family unity, vision, adversity, God, and anything else that might arise. The goal is for you to take away something that you can use in your life immediately.
Speaker: The world our kids are growing up in today looks nothing like the world we grew up in. Today, we're diving into the top challenges kids ages 10 to 17 face, both in Christian homes and in non-religious homes, and how parents can walk with them through it.
Speaker: My guest is Tim Wadsworth. Tim is a Greenville, South Carolina native. He graduated high school from Southside Christian as well as the Fine Arts Center. Tim has been in full-time vocational ministry for 17 years, and the last 15 years have been at North Hills Church here in South Carolina.
Speaker: His heart's desire is to see the next generation reach its full potential in Jesus Christ through the gospel and discipleship. Tim majored in biblical studies and youth ministries at Liberty University and graduated in 2009.
Speaker: He married his college sweetheart, Rachel, and they now have two sons, Judah and Levi. If you want to immediately become best friends with Tim, talk about the following things.
Speaker: Anything DW Drums, the Atlanta Braves, Five Iron Frenzy, and Public Chicken Fingers. Welcome, Tim. Come on.
Speaker: Good morning. Good morning. So, okay. You've never heard of Five Iron Frenzy? No, sir. We'll learn more about them later. They're one of the greatest bands to ever exist.
Speaker: Okay. I was going to check it out, but then I said, might go to someplace I don't want to go. But anyway, um yeah, just tell us about your your musical background, because I know... ah I see you up there with the band periodically.
Speaker: um i know that was ah almost a vocation for you, right? Yeah. Yeah, I did it professionally for for many years, but I was really young. Okay.
Speaker: And then what happened? Yeah, yeah. So I was born in Miami, Florida, and I don't know if you remember Hurricane Andrew. Hurricane Andrew came through South Miami, Florida and just completely destroyed our house.
Speaker: And ah my dad's work transferred us to Simpsonville, South Carolina. So I was about six years old when we moved from Florida to Simpsonville, right outside of Greenville.
Speaker: And we had to just rebuild everything. we We kind of moved with not a lot of stuff. And my parents asked what was one thing they could get me to help me with the move.
Speaker: And I just shot for the moon. And I said, I would love a drum set. And man, they they made it happen. they you know A week later, I came home from school and I fell in love with the drums. And then one of the greatest things ever to happen to me, I was in the eighth grade and I got to play in big church.
Speaker: you know and That was a big deal in our family. yeah to to play in big church. And then I ended up going to the Governor's School of South Carolina and the Fine Arts Center down you know down in downtown Greenville. And when I was 18 years old, I was able to sign with Red Tie Records, which was a really cool um label out of Lynchburg, Virginia. And I got to play with different artists and be a studio drummer and It was amazing. I got to do it till I was about 21 years old. And then I was a 21 year old freshman up at Liberty University. So I got to do it and make some money and get it out of my system and be a hippie.
Speaker: I loved it. Oh, I get to see the pictures from back in the day. Hopefully we can post them at some point. Yeah, and I mean, I my hair wouldn't prove it now, but I had a really cool mohawk and and it was fun.
Speaker: Wait, Mohawk, that that connects right to the Atlanta Braves, doesn't it? Your baseball team. Come on. Man, listen, anybody that is from Greenville, yeah I mean, we're huge Atlanta Braves fans because, Russell, if you remember, our AAA team was the Greenville Braves for decades until they left and then the the pathetic Greenville Drive came to town.
Speaker: But, man, I miss the Greenville Braves. But that's how ah that's how the Wadsworths became huge Braves fans. Nice. Yeah, we're, you know, my kids grew up being Yankee fans, you know, growing up with Derek Jeter and that whole crew.
Speaker: So ah we're huge Atlanta Braves fans too, but probably not for the same reason you are. Probably because you always beat us. But I don't want to go there. We want to keep positive and upbeat today. Amen, brother.
Speaker: So we had a conversation a while back. You probably don't even remember it, but you were talking about the history of youth ministry in America. And I had always assumed, again, I came from a no denomination, no background.
Speaker: There wasn't a youth group where I was. And um I just assumed that, you know, when I moved down south or in the Bible Belt, I'm just thinking like youth groups have always been there.
Speaker: Youth ministry has always been there. um But you would give me some some history that it's it's still kind of in its infancy, right? Yeah, ah so obviously when you look at the the whole scope of church history, you know student ministry wasn't even really a blink on the radar until around the Vietnam War, you know late 60s, early 70s. And I think the church started realizing there was a lack of ah presence of the Father in the home.
Speaker: And when you kind of do your history on just all things student ministry, that's kind of when it was conceived to be stereotypically what we know now, words like youth group um or student pastor.
Speaker: um And so obviously we're in 2026, so it's only about 50, 60 years old when you think of the you know the church and the thousands of years that it existed when we saw it being built in the book of Acts.
Speaker: and Even for only being 50, 60 years old, i mean, it has come such a long way. the The analogy that I use is like technology. If you go back 10 years ago, well, that 10 years up until now, technology has come such a far and long way. And I believe student ministry is kind of finding its roots, finding its identity, and honestly, just kind of recognizing its seat on the bus and not trying to be a church within a church.
Speaker: But kind of understanding and recognizing our role, how we can complement ah the church as a whole. And it's been really fun to be a part of. Wow.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. Just, you know, just another thing I was just oblivious to. but ah But I'm just finding it like spectacularly interesting. So, so okay. So let's um let's jump in. ah We'll start with ah Christian families with kids, middle school age kids, 10 to 13. Yeah.
Speaker: um what what What are the things, like the number one things you see them like wrestling with? um The kids. we'll start We'll get to parents later. But what's the number one thing we see the kids wrestling with? Like key issues, identity, peer pressure, media, family faith, tension, bullying. but What are you seeing, Tim?
Speaker: this This might be a weird answer to your question. Honestly, the thing that I see, and and when you're talking about a a kiddo that is being raised in a Christian home versus a student who is being raised in a family that does not follow Jesus, I can kind of address the difference in the two.
Speaker: The number one thing that I see that is very hard for those seventh, eighth, and ninth graders being raised in a Christian home is two things. Mom and dad does not make marriage look appealing and mom and dad do not make following Jesus appealing.
Speaker: I hear this from students all the time. I'll ask questions like, i don't know, like sometimes in conversation I can ask, hey, do you ever want to get married or do you ever want to have kids? And you will see some of these Gen Z, Gen Alpha generational kids look at me and go,
Speaker: Nope. And I'll say, why? And they'll say, because I look at my parents' marriage and they are absolutely miserable. Why would I want that? Wow.
Speaker: And that's middle school kids with that insight? Yeah, about seven. mean, think about it. Kind of go back to you being that seventh grade or eighth grader. If there was ever moments when your parents were fighting, that's that scared you. you you you you didn't you know You were having images of divorce or what's my life going to look like if these two fall apart.
Speaker: And then deep down, you could get bitterness towards them. you could you could really get frustrated with them um because they just didn't have their stuff together. Now, none of us really have our stuff together. We're all broken, sinful, jacked up people.
Speaker: But what I really appreciated about my parents, they had a saying and they would say, tim when you and Matthew, and my brother, when you guys were growing up, we never allowed our thunderstorms to get you guys wet.
Speaker: Yes, sir. so we know there was rain, lightning and thunder going on with Beth and Woody, but they at least had the self-awareness to like go. And honestly, I asked my dad, where did you and mom go to have some?
Speaker: i don't like calling them fights. We would say discussions and they would say in the car. They would go and sit in the car. um And so Rachel and I have started to do that. Like if I ever look at my wife and say, hey, can I can i have a word with you in the car?
Speaker: That is me saying we need to have an adult conversation where the little ears of Judah and Levi just can't. They can't hear it. And so I try and do things all the time to get my boys excited about being married.
Speaker: Whether that's being, you know, if my wife's in the kitchen and cooking a meal, I'll try and flirt with her in front of the boys or show affection and give her a kiss. Like I want them to look at our marriage and say, hey, I can't wait to be a primary disciple maker one day. And then number two, i think the biggest thing is our our kids are not seeing radical, awesome, beautiful Christianity being played out every day in the home.
Speaker: And I think it just becomes cultural. You just say you're a Christian, but you don't live like you're a Christian. You know about the gospel. You've not been transformed by the gospel. So I think the biggest uphill battle I have with, you know, middle school, high school students is they think they're a believer, but they've not seen true radical Christianity And it it can get really tricky. And I think that's where, you know, you're from the North. So I'm sure you've heard of terms like the Bible Belt or, you know, things where everyone in you know, in the South, we know about Jesus, but we've not been transformed by Jesus. We're hearers of the word. We're not doers of the word. So I think those two things are my biggest uphill battle as a student pastor.
Speaker: So, so would you then, um how do how do you bring that to parents then? Um, I, I totally get what you're saying. I mean, I don't remember seeing my mom and dad fight.
Speaker: I'm sure they did, but I don't remember seeing it, but I didn't see a lot of things, but, uh, and, and my wife Lynn and I were the same way. We had, uh, you know, we would go behind closed doors, you know, it was similar to not airing your dirty laundry in front of, you know, neighbors and stuff. But, you know, we we just didn't want the kids to not understand the conversations we were having.
Speaker: But um how do how do you lovingly introduce that idea to parents? And, you know, do they buy in if you do?
Speaker: That's a great question. um Obviously, being reliant on the Holy Spirit and what God is doing in the soil of their of their hearts. My technique is if you can win the kid, you can win the parent.
Speaker: So as I get to know the kid, I'm trying to build equity with this guy or this gal in the youth group. And if I can get them to love the youth group and love their life group leaders and come and we are serving the family unit well, it then gives me this green light, this open door to then start to get to know mom and dad.
Speaker: And I guess I'm a unicorn. I mean, when North Hills hired me, I was 24 and now I'm years old. um What has helped is, i mean, Russell, the the sophomores and juniors in our ministry, there's pictures of me holding these kids as babies.
Speaker: So it's just, I think it takes time and equity and diligence to plant your roots. And if they don't trust me, they're not going to really listen to a whole lot of what I have to say. I've seen it being, sometimes I can have a conversation with a family unit that I don't know very well. And sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I'm not real sure what God can do with that.
Speaker: I think it's just a slow churn. I think it's just coffees and catching them in between services on Sunday and encouraging them. Another thing you got to do is every time my phone rings to these families, they can't just think, uh-oh, well, Tim's calling, so something's got to be bad.
Speaker: Or Tim's calling, so my kid's obviously being a knucklehead. Sometimes I just try and call and say, hey, I just want to let you know how proud I am of your kid. He's growing in our youth group. I've seen him mature. It's really encouraged me. I want to encourage you.
Speaker: um So sometimes I throw that low hanging fruit in there. So when I do have to lean in and give hard truth, ah they kind of compliment each other. Well, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. We always talked about edification um in all aspects of, of existence, but especially in the home where, You know, mom builds up dad, dad builds up mom. um It just gives, you know, greater credibility.
Speaker: um it's a It gives at least the appearance of of unity. And um i think ah I think it's really effective. It's effective in all aspects of life. But um yeah, and I think, too, to your point, as somebody outside the family,
Speaker: you know, if the kids are building you up to mom and dad or and if mom and dad are building you up to the kids, um, I think that's a, you know, a really healthy cycle, right? So long as you're telling them good stuff.
Speaker: Yeah, no, it definitely helps. And I think the roles can also be reversed. I think, um, I remember if my dad spoke poorly of someone like that, there was a PE coach.
Speaker: Uh, he's, he's moved. I honestly, I think he's even passed away. Um, when I was like in the fifth or sixth grade and I remember my dad spoke poorly about my PE teacher.
Speaker: And I don't know if what he said was true or not, or biased or this, that, and the other, but I went to school just not liking that PE e teacher. Cause my dad didn't like him. So I remember my dad, you know, started recognizing that if he spoke highly of someone, then the kids would think highly of that individual. So you know, I think there's wisdom for a parent. If you want your student to listen to, you know, in our house, the pastors were our heroes. My dad made them, you know, made them look like a million bucks because when they spoke, he wanted his kids to listen and listen intently to what they were to what they were saying. So I think it's it can even be reversed. I mean, obviously, if the student loves youth pastor, parents are going to
Speaker: respect that individual. But on the flip side, a parent needs to speak highly about church leadership, even if you think they're morons. And we're all morons. The only you know people ruin in ministry are people.
Speaker: and We need the grace of Jesus just as much as anyone. But even if you've got your things that are driving you crazy with leadership, don't complain about it in front of your kids. Because, because I mean, discipleship isn't taught. Discipleship is caught.
Speaker: they're going to see you doing that and think it's normal just to bash church leadership. Right. Yeah, I think, you know, it's kind of, ah if you have nothing good to say, you know, don't say anything. But when when it there is time for praise, I mean, you're effusive about it. I mean... ah Now, unless it's unbiblical. If it's unbiblical, I think talk about it.
Speaker: But that's few and far between, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the, um it's just, let's just jump back a little bit. You were talking about um God experiences um that, you know, families are not not having in the home or in their in their own family.
Speaker: um I know you do a lot of things too to bring experiences to the kids. um Can you touch on that a little bit? like where Like, how do you calculate all that into it?
Speaker: um youre You're obviously filling a void in a lot of ways with youth ministry, but how does the experiences come about? re Rephrase that question for me.
Speaker: Well, you you had mentioned before that um a lot of Christianity is is going through the motions and it's not experiential.
Speaker: Like, how do you then um create those experiences for oh for kids in your youth group? Great question. Okay. So hopefully this will be helpful in how I answer that question. So I think a really good goal of any student ministry is to make sure that your kids in the youth group are not owners of the student ministry and renters of the church.
Speaker: So I think um a healthy student ministry is going to do a really good job of getting your students involved in the bloodline of the church.
Speaker: um So, for instance, ah Nathan Arms is our outreach pastor. If Nathan is doing something as a church with North Hills, I need to move heaven and earth to get our students outside of youth group on Sunday night to be a part of what it is the local church, the body is doing so they can see all generations following Christ, obeying him, serving him.
Speaker: If he's got a mission trip that they are taking to South America, There's wisdom in advocating for those students and trying to be the bridge between student and outreach pastor.
Speaker: um One of the things that I'm really going to try and push hard in um next semester, the fall semester coming up, is trying to get our student ministry a part of Men's Breakfast.
Speaker: and An experience of not just showing up to church and being with Life Group Leader, which is wonderful, has great ramifications, but But I think a student ministry is failing their students when you only serve them one meal.
Speaker: When you could be serving them many other meals and having them rub shoulders with other people outside the scope and sequence of Sunday night. So you can kind of fill in the blank of what that means. um But I think experiential.
Speaker: can be done with, instead of reinventing the wheel in student ministry and trying to have a savior complex, to look at what's going on at North Hills and say, how do I get them a part of the body, not just a part of the youth group?
Speaker: Good. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. So, all right, so ah let's let's move from the middle school question with just a just one thing, though, for parents.
Speaker: Okay. Practical advice. One thing a parent can do this week to encourage honest faith conversations. And i' I'm just going to say,
Speaker: When I was that age, I have no idea what that would even look like. I just, you know, we didn't have faith conversations. Yeah. Okay.
Speaker: I feel the Holy Spirit put put two things in my heart. Number one, men in the home have to pray with their wife and they have to pray with their children out loud every day.
Speaker: Every day. So I don't want my kids to only see me pray before my fat butt wants to eat a Chick-fil-A meal, right? Three times a day. I mean, some kids growing up, that's the only time they see their parents pray is before they eat or if there's a crisis.
Speaker: If there's a crisis, they'll probably see it happen. So to cultivate an organic natural system in your home where faith conversations can happen you have to be intentional of being a house of prayer russell remember the sermon from two three weeks ago from hubbard you you've got to make your home a house of prayer not a den of thieves um prayer and then um
Speaker: i I think the second thing we've got to do, and forgive me, I don't remember where this is in Scripture. I think it's in the Proverbs or the Psalms where it says, hey, you've you've got to make these conversations normal when you're taking a walk.
Speaker: or when you're just resting. <unk> I'll find that verse here in a little bit. But scripture is talking about, don't just make it to where you sit the family down for five minutes and have a family devotional. And then we talk about faith things. And then for the other, you know, 23 hours and 55 minutes of the day, we don't induce that into our lives.
Speaker: What I try and do is when I'm with Judah and when I'm with Levi, I'm And we're taking a family walk together and we got the dog, you know, if the sun's setting to go, man, praise God for his creation. Boys, look at the handiwork of Yahweh.
Speaker: Look at that. Only Yahweh could do that. Levi, what do you think about Yahweh? And I just make it just like we would talk about the Braves or just like we would talk about, you know, anything. I want Christianity to be so infused into the mundane of everything we do to where they don't miss the the moments where the Holy Spirit is with us.
Speaker: transforming us when we're washing dishes. Let's talk about the Lord. Honestly, some of the greatest things that Peter Hubbard has ever done for me is share with me his failures because it makes me look at him who I call the goat and say, huh, well, maybe I'm not as messed up as I thought, Peter's got stuff he's wrestling with. Look, as a father, the best things I can do is when I'm weak, share with your kids where you're depending on the Lord.
Speaker: Share with your kids what it is you're going through and how they can pray for you. And the greatest thing you can do is when you mess up, you go to your kids, you say you're sorry, and you ask them to forgive you.
Speaker: And I think if if you do stuff like that, you're ah an intentional house of prayer. Man, again, discipleship isn't taught. It's caught. They're going to see the way you go about your business and say, man, I want what my dad has. I want what my mom has because Yahweh is real in their lives and I want them real in my life.
Speaker: Nice. Yes, sir. So, okay. So now the kids get a little bit older. ah Christian families, stick with them for a little bit longer.
Speaker: um Older teens, high school years, um the faith versus culture clash, doubt, mental health, relationships, and and purpose.
Speaker: So... um Like, where do you see that? Do you see, ah or what do you hear rather? um Over the years, you've had these conversations, you continue to have these conversations with kids that age.
Speaker: um Like, can you share like a, like maybe some, a faith moment, like an honest moment where kids really struggling and, you know, you were kind of like startled with how honest they could be about it.
Speaker: Yeah. So I, I feel like we have moments when they share things, and you just have to remind yourself up here to freak out on the inside and not freak out on the outside.
Speaker: um aye i always make sure when a student comes and does that with me to to do just that, um to to kind of up here, let the alarm system go off, but don't let them see that in my eyes and in my look. And then number two,
Speaker: I thank them for sharing that with me. And I just say, hey, I'm so appreciative of what you just shared with me. That took a lot of courage. And here's the good news for you, no matter what you just shared.
Speaker: Jesus loves you, and I love you. You've not done anything in what you just shared with me to make me think you're less than. you've You've not done anything um to make me think you're gross or you've not done, you know, were you sharing this with me.
Speaker: Satan hates that you shared that with me. And I just want to commend you and say thank you. And then whatever it is, you know, welcome them in to whatever it is God is teaching you. And then we've got to go to the Lord in prayer. Nothing of eternal significance happens apart from prayer.
Speaker: And so I, in the South, we love to say, I'm praying for you, but we're really not praying for you. That's just kind of a ah ah way for us just to say, hey, good vibes your way.
Speaker: um but Or you need help. Well, yeah, it's kind of like the modern day, bless your heart. um But I really do take it to the Lord and say, God, apart from your Holy Spirit, I will labor in vain.
Speaker: And I do not want to labor in vain. And I welcome in the Lord to what this student is going through. And then what I like to do is to to find someone who has walked through the same path as them, but 30, 40, 50 years down the road.
Speaker: Okay, so let me give you an example. A kid comes to me struggling with LGBTQ issues. They're thinking the youth pastor is going to say, well, stop it.
Speaker: You're a sinner. Repent and knock it off. Okay. um Do they need to stop and repent and turn to Christ? Yes.
Speaker: but But sometimes i I want to say, hey, thank you for sharing that with me. Jesus loves you. I love you. And this youth group wants you here. Okay. You're still welcomed here. But then I think, okay, I know of a church our size, Russell, there's got to be someone who has walked this path that has wisdom and insight that Tim Wadsworth does not have.
Speaker: And I think that's what's so great about Jesus. The book of Hebrews says that we have a high priest. who can empathize with us. Why? He that knew no sin became sin so that we could become the righteousness of God. Jesus left his throne in heaven, came to earth, and lived a life 100% God, 100% human.
Speaker: So when we go to Jesus, he understands us because of the path he walked to die on the cross to save us from our sins. So I try and find someone who can look at the student and go, i get it.
Speaker: That used to be me too. But there's hope in Jesus. And I understand what you're going through in ways that maybe your parents don't or your youth pastor doesn't or your life group leader.
Speaker: And they can speak with a validity that is just beautiful. And teenagers have ears to personal experience. um So a huge job as a student pastor is to be the advocate.
Speaker: to connect this student to this adult or connect this student to this parent or, you know, ah because I never want savior complex that this all falls on Tim. Now there's some things where it just needs to be Tim and I can't delegate it.
Speaker: I get it. But I hope that's helpful for your question in the way I answered it because there's so many different ways I could answer it, but that's kind of the the copy and paste that I go with.
Speaker: Yeah. No, I mean, that's, you know, getting that third-party voice in there. um i think I think it makes you look stronger in that you don't you don't have to be, like you said, the savior. You know, we're all in this together. So, yeah, good stuff.
Speaker: what um
Speaker: Is there any kind of intentional... ah way that, that you help develop purpose in kids' lives as they're, as they're going through, your, the ministry, the student ministry?
Speaker: Yeah. So I, remember growing up and I would go to Walmart and no one was happy to see me.
Speaker: I would show up at my math class. My teacher was not happy to see me. Um, But man, every Wednesday night when I went to youth group, it was the only time I can really visibly remember in my head that people would remember my name and say how happy they were to see me.
Speaker: And if I missed a couple weeks, I would get a phone call going, hey, dude, i like I've not seen you at youth group. We miss you. Where are you been? and And something even as simple as that, Russell, helped me understand I had purpose and value and I was meaningful.
Speaker: That's why a huge philosophy of ministry at Alive Student Ministry is, you know this, know, show, grow. a big bedrock foundational thing we try and do is to help teenagers know that we love them.
Speaker: We know who they are. They are valued by us because they are created in the image and likeness of Jesus. And we just love them. And I think even adults, you know, deep down, if they were being honest, would say the same thing.
Speaker: But I think purpose and value can come from someone who loves Jesus and shows unconditional love because we know the world shows conditional love. We know this. If you ah if if you're in a you know a relationship that doesn't fear the Lord, it's very much what can we get from each other.
Speaker: But I think if students come and say, wow, it doesn't matter what I do to these people. I mean, I've had students curse me out, tell me to kick rocks, like, okay. And then I just...
Speaker: There's no conditions in my love for them the next time I see them. you know They're not getting in trouble. I'm not screaming back at them. I think they think there's always this consequence coming. But to show unconditional love, why? Because Jesus showed us unconditional love. Man, we know I deserve help.
Speaker: Apart from Jesus, there's nothing good in Tim Wadsworth. But man, when you taste the unconditional love of the Father and His grace and mercy is just abounding. If we can just be an ounce of that to teenagers, I think it helps them understand that they are purposeful and where they find their purpose.
Speaker: And they're going, how can these people do it? Oh, it's because of Jesus. I want to hear more about Christ. I want to hear more about this Jesus guy. And then they really find their real purpose. They really start finding out why they were created Their purpose wasn't just to go to work and make a paycheck and go home and watch the Braves and go to bed.
Speaker: Once they find their purpose and why they were created, everything just starts falling into place. Yeah. Yeah. So um that's good. ah The one, the one last thing though, is with, with Christian kids, Christian families, you know,
Speaker: I don't know if I believe this anymore. theyve been They've been coming up, you know, and, you know, the enemy's just whispering in their ear, ah whatever the situation.
Speaker: um Have you come across that where where kids are just like, I'm just not feeling it? i don't, you know? Yeah. Like, how how do you respond to that?
Speaker: Oh, yeah. Yeah. and and And I see it, too, in all decades of life. I mean, Russell, we've seen it here at the church. People following Jesus for in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. And then in their 60s, they flick the proverbial middle finger at Jesus, and they're out the door. And everything they believed was fake and a fraud and this, that, and the other.
Speaker: um i think the most sobering thing for me is the longer and longer I've been in ministry, The passage of scripture that talks about the way to heaven is very, very narrow.
Speaker: And the way to hell is really, really wide. It's very sobering to think of that. um I feel like this season of ministry in the last five, six years, I've seen more people walk away from Jesus than stop, repent, and put their trust in Jesus.
Speaker: um Now, there's been some seasons where I've seen so many people come to Christ. It's just amazing. And you're you know you're like, I want to live in this season of life forever. But again, it's it's a very, I don't say normal as in I'm you know ah excited about when these situations happen, but it's going to happen.
Speaker: But God's not done. So even if a teenager says that, I try and go to mom and dad and say, don't freak out. This is actually sometimes in the life of a teenager, a very good place for them to be a Russell.
Speaker: As cockamamie as that sounds, I actually like when a teenager looks at me and says, i don't know what I think about this whole Jesus thing. And I think it it might be a crock.
Speaker: Now, you panic on the inside, right? You don't you don't try and make it a theological debate. I would actually rather a student sometimes walk that path than just inherit what their family has believed or it's good enough for mom and dad, it's good enough for me, but they've not worked it out with fear and trembling with the Lord.
Speaker: Some of the fiercest believers I know in their 30s, 40s, and 50s were asking the questions that were the scariest and the hardest when they were 17. So I think it's an opportunity for us to ask good questions and for us to welcome them into scripture and then Only God can save.
Speaker: Like I'm a huge predestination theological nerd. God is going to call those that he wants. And he doesn't call all people. he He wants all to be saved and to be reconciled, but it seems that there are some whose hearts are hard and it doesn't matter what you do.
Speaker: And then there's some that their hearts are softened and all you got to do is be faithful to preach the gospel. They repent and believe they're in the fold. So I don't freak out. um My job is to be faithful. It's God's job to redeem and only he can do those hard things and I can't.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, I don't... ah I think, you know... For me personally, I had to get, ah it just couldn't be a faith thing. I had to, I needed like the historical, archaeological, I needed yeah the whole thing to to really bring my faith, you know, to be serious with my faith.
Speaker: um I couldn't just take it on face value or on a great moment or a great feeling or a Holy Ghost thing or something something like that. And that took time. That you know that was you know for me.
Speaker: I'm just ah slow learner, but eventually I learn. ah Anyway, um okay, so now we go non-religious families. So all are welcome into into your youth group, your alive group and all.
Speaker: So now the kids are not growing up in Christian homes. um They're coming in. um They're hearing language probably that they're not familiar with. um Like, what what do you see that they're...
Speaker: Like, how do how do you deal with those kids? How do we, um you know, initiate or introduce them um in a way that's not just because we're all doing it, you got to do it. um You know, but what can you do for these kids? And, and in you know, the environment that they're in is a totally godless environment at home.
Speaker: Were you were you in big church when i um I did the call to worship and read that note? from a student who we gave a scholarship to for the winter retreat. Because I think that's a great example. we We had this student come to the youth group.
Speaker: I knew he wasn't a believer because he told us he wasn't, which I think is beautiful for the honesty. We were showing him around the student center over here in our church.
Speaker: And he thought it was the coolest place, but the, the, the, you know, the verbiage he used to express how awesome the facilities were as was hilarious.
Speaker: You know, this place is blankety blank. Awesome. And, you know, holy blank that I didn't know you had arcade machines and I actually appreciated the honesty, the authenticity that he didn't feel like he had to fake it, you know, to, to be accepted.
Speaker: I think a lot of students who aren't in Jesus, not all, sometimes I think they just want to push the buttons just to see how believers respond. um Because we say, come as you are. And they're going, I'm calling BS.
Speaker: I don't know if I came as I was or I am. I'm curious how you would respond to that. So this kid came and... I bumped into him at Panda Express off of Wade Hampton. Now, don't judge me, Russell. I know you're a healthy eater. I love me some Panda Express. ah But I saw him and I saw his parents.
Speaker: And I went over to the table and apples don't fall far from trees. And he's he's with his dad and his uncle and his mom. I was just so happy to meet the whole family. And I leaned in and ah yeah his name's Jarrett.
Speaker: And I said, Jared, I said, is this your family? And he goes, yeah, this is my papa. And he's just introduced me to the whole family. And the dad said, yeah, we've heard about you. And he mentioned something about the winter retreat.
Speaker: And I just felt a nudge from the spirit to be unbelievably generous. and to say, hey, ah we have enjoyed having him so much. Hey, Dad, can we fully scholarship your son to go on the winter retreat? We would love to have him. And it's, I mean, it's not too, too much. It's 250 bucks. But if you're not a believer, I think unbelievers just want to see the rubber meet the road. And they just want to feel something tangible of our actions are louder than our words.
Speaker: And man, they looked at me like I had seven heads. And they were like, why would you do that for us? Like, you don't even really know us. And i said, man, listen, Jesus loves you and your family so much. We want Jared to come with us on the winter retreat. And I think they had this mindset of, well, we got nothing to lose.
Speaker: It's free. ah So this this was maybe... I forget what happened, but Jared came and God did some amazing stuff.
Speaker: I don't know if he surrendered his life yet. I can't wait to have another conversation with him just to see what's churning and what's going on. But I got a ah thank you note here sent to the church from the mom.
Speaker: And the mom was was expressing in her letter how she's never heard the church spoken well of in their home or of pastors. And she said, for the first time, our family's heart is softened towards church.
Speaker: And all it took was for me to say, OK, this is God's money. Let me just try and be unbelievably generous. And so I don't know if that's helpful with the way I answered your question, but I think when unbelievers come, they want to know, are these people the real deal or is is this just a moose lodge where you guys are just kind of, canno i don't know, talking the talk versus walking the walk? Are you the real deal?
Speaker: i think that's what they want to know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good stuff. So, I mean, at the end of the day, whether a family is a Christian family or not, everybody has struggles.
Speaker: You know, I think ah i think the one of the delusions that I had when I finally became a Christian later on as an adult was, was that, okay, I tried everything else. I'm going to try Jesus. I mean, you know, now that I'm a Christian, everything's just going to be just lovely.
Speaker: Right. And so... and so that you know The Santa Claus Christian you know sort of thing. a m So the struggles are real for everybody.
Speaker: And um I just feel that there's way more answers ah in the Christian walk than there is in the the secular walk for sure. um So, okay, so let's let's just move along real quick here.
Speaker: I got these questions, two to three practices every parent can use to build a stronger connection with their kids. Encouragement, emphasize listening, presence, and modeling values.
Speaker: um You know, what do you wish parents knew ah about what their kids aren't saying out loud? So, you know, I think we you touched on it in a lot of different ways.
Speaker: But again, talking to the parents, um would you add anything more on with ah to that? I mean, is you know praying, ah not brawling with your wife or your spouse in front of them, ah you know just being sincere about your own ah personal struggles when it's time for that.
Speaker: um Would you add anything else, any other practices daily, weekly? Yeah. you're You're talking about to the Christian parent. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Okay. Well, I can only speak from personal experience. I think um Ryan Ferguson, Pastor Ryan knows about these. I've shared these with him, but I take my kids on something called a treasure hunt. Now, I'm not saying every parent needs to do this. I think they can glean off of what I'm saying, what can work and what what can't work.
Speaker: um This is just when I take my boys out to Walmart or downtown Greenville or the Haywood Mall. I love the Haywood Mall. A little accent, let me rephrase this. hate the Haywood Mall, but I love the Haywood Mall for treasure hunts.
Speaker: And we go on treasure hunt, and i what I'm trying to do is teach my boys how to listen to the Holy Spirit. And, um, again I, I, again, think that's something that we just think magically happens. I do think it's a muscle that you've got to work out.
Speaker: i think it's something where you've, you've got to be still and know that Yahweh exists and then just be led by the spirit. And so we call it a treasure hunt because I want, I want my boys to watch me, ah evangelize in stores or pay for someone's groceries at Walmart. So we have a budget line in the Wadsworth income that's called treasure hunt.
Speaker: I don't know how much is in there, 150 bucks or something. But sometimes we'll go out to dinner and we'll um I'll ask the boys, is the Holy Spirit telling you anything?
Speaker: And my youngest sometimes doesn't really answer the question, but he just listens. and But my oldest wanted to pay for someone's meal. And I said, okay.
Speaker: ah Judah, that's what we're going to do. So when the waiter came over, we said, hey, can we have their check over there too? And it there was an older couple, maybe in their low 60s.
Speaker: And I said, boys, we're going to pay for their meal. And then when we leave here, we're going to let them know. And then we're going to pray for them. And I'm telling you, my boys get so excited for treasure hunts.
Speaker: They Love it. Now, obviously they love it because they're being generous with my money. It's not, let me rephrase that. They're being generous with the Lord's money. But they, know, if I were to go to their piggy bank and say, let's pay for their meal out of your money, that's the next step in helping them.
Speaker: But we went over and just said, hey, we just want to let you know Jesus loves you and God is provided to pay for your meal. And we would just love to pray for you.
Speaker: And I'm telling you, Russell, the tears that you see from people or a random stranger giving me a hug and thanking the boys, like – And the flip side, it's not always pretty.
Speaker: When I'm at the Haywood Mall and I say, boys, let's go witness to this lady over here. And I get called a fool or i you know, sometimes they ask me questions and I don't know how to answer it.
Speaker: I want my boys to taste failure with me. I want my boys to then come to me and say, daddy, why didn't that person trust Jesus?
Speaker: And I have to say, well, not not everyone's going to trust and believe, guys. Actually, the world is going to persecute you for following Jesus. Actually, the world thinks that you're crazy for following Jesus.
Speaker: So it again, discipleship is caught, not taught. And so the greatest thing I can i can say to parents is you you have to act out your faith in front of your children. You have to welcome them into it now. It's not for one day. And then you even have to welcome in the failures so that they know it's not this voodoo magic stuff going on, um that there really are people who will have adversity towards Christianity.
Speaker: Yeah. That's good. That's great. Yeah, that's a that's a fun activity for sure. ah and And definitely teaching moments. ah Humor youor me with this question.
Speaker: God conversations, mind, body, and spirit. Sometimes I wonder about the body. the yeah but In ministry, especially for young people, in this culture, in this time in history, um there's not a lot of hard physical work going on.
Speaker: And I found, um especially with my youngest son, um that during those years that he thrived on hard physical work, maybe reluctantly,
Speaker: But he actually, it it just gave him a whole different level of clarity, whether it be it's spiritual or mental. I was just wondering if if um if there's anything within in the scope of of your ministry, or is that a little too holistic?
Speaker: um Is there anything? is that Is that a good question or understandable question? that's a good question. I'm trying to think through things that we do where we physically work hard. The first thing that came to my mind was our um we take kids on a missions camp um called Snowbird to Andrews, North Carolina in the um in the mountains of Western North Carolina. And we work hard.
Speaker: i think last year we've replaced a roof. um on a trailer for for a lady. um i think we even tore out a deck and replaced it.
Speaker: And I could even tell after some of those boys worked hard, when they went to chapel that same night, they sat more still and had ears to listen.
Speaker: Instead of coming to chapel with all this pent-up ADHD whatever, Um, yeah, I mean, God says to honor him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Speaker: Now, obviously, strength can mean in a couple different things, but I do think we can honor God with, as a husband, I've got to cut the grass, and that makes me tired, and I've got to be in a position where I can physically do things for for my family.
Speaker: Our bodies are a temple of the Holy Spirit. we' We're to take good care of our bodies. I think that'll look different for everyone. um But I do think there's wisdom in it's different strokes for different folks. But I think as a parent or as a shepherd, if you know um what is the saying, Russell, I think it's like a heavier the load, straighter the truck drives.
Speaker: They're just, yeah, yeah like, and you know, like if your truck doesn't have a lot of stuff in the back of the bed, sometimes it can fishtail. um but But if a truck has a heavier load, it can drive straighter.
Speaker: it's It's more grounded. i think there are some kids that need a heavier load. They need to be in football. They need to be in weight training. they They need to stay away from red dyes because the moment they drink that red Gatorade, they're just, they're bonkers.
Speaker: and But there's some kids who can drink it. and Like my oldest son can drink a Gatorade and do his homeschooling just fine. Levi, if that ding-a-ling has a red Gatorade, he can't pay attention to save his life. So we shepherd them different that way. But I will say this.
Speaker: This is just a personal opinion. I would never say this from the pulpit. um I can't find anywhere in scripture that would support this. This is just Tim. So i don't want to upset anyone.
Speaker: I think homeschooling for that Russell is the wisest thing. I think if you put your kids in, and I'm private schooled. So I sat in a chair from 8 a.m. to 345 Monday through Friday. All I did was sit there.
Speaker: Well, my boys sit in a chair from 830 to 10 a.m. m And you know what they're doing from 10 to 3 p.m.? They're playing in creeks and rivers. They're riding their bikes. They're they're doing everything outside.
Speaker: Sometimes I get very frustrated at our school system that they're told to shut up and sit down. Yeah. Well, yeah, they're I think all of education, I mean, the concept is nice, but ah I think they're at a stage now where you know, the reality of, you know, learning styles, indoctrination, ah you name it.
Speaker: um Yeah, the the education system in America is definitely yeah getting scrutinized as we speak. But anyway, good. So, okay, so recently um you got elevated to ah the title of elder in our church.
Speaker: where Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years? Are you going to you see yourself in this same ministry, but you know make having it grow, ah evolve into greater and greater things? Or or um are you going to pass it along and and you move on to something else? Where where do you see Tim Wadsworth in 10 years?
Speaker: Man, what a great question. I will say becoming an elder at North Hills Church has been one of the greatest honors and privileges of my life. um it God has just been so kind and faithful. And let me say, it was not an easy process for Tim.
Speaker: um I mean, i like I said, I got hired at 24 and I didn't become an elder till was 40. So that was a little over 15 years that Tim needed to stay in the oven and bake a little bit more.
Speaker: I think there were some areas I was very, and still, know, I've not arrived at all. But I think there were some areas the church recognized that were areas I wasn't ready and it hurt.
Speaker: It stung. um But I knew God would open that door when he would want to open it. So let me say this. Student ministry is such an interesting world when it comes to the question you asked me about, kind of quote unquote, what's next.
Speaker: It's very rare for someone to go to a ninth grade English teacher at Eastside High School and go, how long, how long we doing in this for? Like, what's next for you? Like, are you going to go to college? You know, are you going be a professor? Are you going to try and go to a charter school? Like, why are we just at at Eastside?
Speaker: um No one really goes to a middle school tennis coach and goes, what are we doing? Like, how how much longer until we try and climb the the totem pole?
Speaker: In student ministry, Russell, I cannot tell you how many times I've gotten that question as as what is next. And I normally answer it two ways. Number one, it's never been a stepping stone job for me. This has been the arrival.
Speaker: when i When I went to Liberty University, I proudly made my minor youth ministry. Now, I needed to make my major biblical studies because I was very ignorant in God's word. But I made my minor student ministry because I knew in some way, shape or form I was going to be doing student ministry. not so that I could become Peter Hubbard one day, or not just as a stepping stone, get your foot through the door of the church so I could become Ryan Ferguson one day.
Speaker: um i hope I am a student pastor until the day I die. However, i think if you cut me, i bleed church leadership. um Meaning now that I'm kind of an older more wiser student pastor, man, there's so many 22, 23 year old youth pastors that I love coaching, that I love coming alongside and saying, Hey, I didn't have this.
Speaker: Someone's sharing these things with me that I wish they would have at 22. I've had dreams, Russell, of If the Lord pulls me from student ministry and the transition into something else, I would love to do professional student ministry coaching.
Speaker: um there There are so many youth pastors who would love to have one hour a week with a veteran youth pastor.
Speaker: um Because here's the deal. it It's a weird ministry. Because when you're young in student ministry, well, everyone just wants you to be older so the parents can actually respect you. But then you get a little bit older and then you're worried that the kids just think you're a grandpa.
Speaker: you You can never really find your sweet spot in student ministry. um I actually do feel like I'm in my sweet spot currently at 40 because I've always wanted my kids to be in the youth group.
Speaker: And next year, Judah joins the youth group. um And so I'm just, I cannot believe that I get to do ministry and my family gets to be a part of it in some way, shape or form in a tangible way.
Speaker: But I think if people were to say, if if you could tell the Lord, which we can't, but if you could tell the Lord what's next, I could easily see after 17, 18 years of doing straight vocational student ministry,
Speaker: to to start a ministry of coaching younger student pastors so that we do have more longevity. I hate seeing these student pastors come in for two years and then just move on or ditch their youth pastor for so or their youth group for something better or to transition into a different pastoral role. One of the greatest things I can put on my resume is I have faithfully shepherded this youth group since 2010.
Speaker: um And when I can say my juniors in high school, I've held them as babies. there's There's nothing sweeter in my mind. Nice.
Speaker: Good stuff, Tim. Appreciate it. Yeah. Well, that's a wrap. I hope everyone enjoyed today's episode and you get some takeaways that you can use. More information about Tim Wadsworth will be in the notes.
Speaker: Please share this with your friends. Also, there is a ton of new stuff at RussellJonesSpeaks.com, health and fitness, speaking events, strong kids, and a new book is coming as well, The Wall We Cannot See, working title. The wall was the only thing standing between me and my best life.
Speaker: And in the words of the inimitable Hulk Hogan, Say your prayers, take your vitamins, and you will never go wrong. Then you can all go and make it a great day. Bye for now.
