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Episode 7 - Avital Ash
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Welcome to Episode 7 of The Lee Asher's World Podcast!
Today, we’re thrilled to have a very special guest: the incredibly talented Avital Ash. Avital is a creative powerhouse—known for her sharp comedy, compelling writing, skillful directing, and memorable performances as an actor.
In this episode, we dive into her upcoming projects, explore what drives her creative work, and discover some surprising similarities between us. You won’t want to miss this conversation.
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode 7
00:00:05
Speaker
Hey everyone, i hope you're having a beautiful day. Welcome to episode seven of the Lee Asher's World podcast. I'm very excited for today's episode. I'm excited for every episode, but especially this one because authenticity and honesty is so important to me.
Guest Introduction: Avital Ash
00:00:21
Speaker
And it just makes me so happy to have our guest, Avital Ash, who is a comedian, writer, director, actor, and a recently new rescue mom.
00:00:33
Speaker
Avital, how are you today? Hi, I'm good. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yes, it is my pleasure.
Connecting Through Shared History
00:00:40
Speaker
And Avital and I met through my brother DJ. All of us once lived in beautiful Florida. You grew up in Miami, yeah?
00:00:48
Speaker
I did. And you did too? Or nearby? I grew up in, uh, you know, some call it Miami, some call it Boca Raton. It all depends on where you live. Mouth of the rat. Yeah, exactly. the rat exactly Uh, Miami is cooler.
00:01:03
Speaker
I will say, but, uh, a lot of times I'll say Delray beach. Oh, funny.
Impact of Avital's YouTube Special
00:01:09
Speaker
You know, it just gives it a little kick, little sp yeah ica a little spice. It's also funny that you say Miami is cooler. Cause, cause I just found out that you watched my show. So, you know, I grew up Orthodox, which is less cool, but still in Miami.
00:01:21
Speaker
I think it makes your whole story so much cooler. i Really? Yeah, I mean, okay, so just to to bring everybody up to speed, and if I sound kind of giddy, I am, because I, Avital, I very much respect you, and I know that might be kind of maybe not sound um authentic from someone who you don't know whatsoever,
00:01:45
Speaker
and I don't know, you probably thought we were just, you know, maybe going to talk about dogs, but I just ah watched your YouTube special.
Exploring Avital's YouTube Special
00:01:53
Speaker
I watched it twice, which is um workshops, Avital workshops her suicide note.
00:02:00
Speaker
Is that correct? Avital Ash, but yeah. Avital Ash workshops her suicide note. And um I have never seen anything like that in my entire life. I don't know how you did something like that.
00:02:14
Speaker
i thought it was so beautiful and so raw and I'm only now just finding out that my brother sent it to me when he probably shouldn't have, I guess. because nobody I thought it was already posted on YouTube. I thought it was out. So this this this is not out yet.
00:02:37
Speaker
No, there's a private link where I'm figuring out if I'm going to just put it out myself tour it a little bit longer or yeah, kind of figuring out next steps now. But but we have this video of it. So I am glad you saw it. It's just such a surprise.
00:02:49
Speaker
where's your Where's your mind at right now with it? What do you think you're going to do? what What do you plan on doing? um um if youre If you're cool with it, I'd love to talk through that with you. Yeah, i I don't know. I think I want to enlist you know some help, maybe like a PR person and see what it would be what it would look like to release it myself.
00:03:08
Speaker
It's also, um there's the question in my head of if i if it's like you know a pay to watch situation or if I just put it online free. So I really don't know. I've been um writing on a Netflix show, which comes out in a few months.
00:03:23
Speaker
And all this has been kind of on hold and now I'm back in it going like, you know, as you may have gathered from the show, I have anxiety. So it is a lot of like, what's the right thing to do? What's, you know, and and I don't have it figured out yet, but my hope is to give myself a deadline of at least like a few months. And if I haven't been touring it again or figured out some, some other distribution model that, you know, maybe I'll give myself till September and then I'll just put it online.
00:03:50
Speaker
What do you feel is the right thing to do? Like what feels the best? Like what would just feel the best do you think?
Personal Reflection and Online Perception
00:03:55
Speaker
I think that that what would feel the best would be to, short term, would be to never put it online ever. And then nobody has to perceive me or i don't have to worry about, you know, what if somebody in my family watches or feels weird about it or whatever. But I think long term that feels like, you know, erasing myself and and that's not going to feel good. So I don't know.
00:04:18
Speaker
Man, I can't believe that's even an option. It does make... Oh my... To those of you who it doesn't make sense to, it's because you haven't seen it. But if you watch this show, ah it would make perfect sense. And I i and so i don't mean to like tease anyone who is curious about the show um because it's not out yet. And I, too, hope that um Avital ah you know does whatever you feel comfortable with but that you are able to to get it out because I think it is...
00:04:48
Speaker
It's just so beautiful. can can you Can you explain to everyone what what the show is? and then And if I interrupt you, it's because I'm excited. I'm not gonna talk over you. You're so kind. It's a very sweet, i you can interrupt me. And I love that you're excited. This is so nice. And yeah, tease them, make them want to watch It's just so fucking rare, dude.
00:05:07
Speaker
Like to to talk about something that everybody thinks about that a lot of people strongly consider And you do it from this beautiful, calm, realistic head space, right?
00:05:24
Speaker
And it's so relatable. It's so relatable. you bring the You bring us on this amazing journey. And i i I just couldn't believe it. Like, i ah you know, oftentimes for me, Avital, when I'm somewhere in public,
00:05:44
Speaker
When someone recognizes me, they never approach me and like, hi, you know, put their hand. They hug me, dude. They hug me. And what I realized is i put so much of myself online that they genuinely feel like they know me.
00:06:00
Speaker
makes sense they genuinely feel like they know me i never understood what that would feel like until i watched your your show i just hit the mic sorry i never yeah i was because that's why i could tell when we when we first came on when we first looking at each other i'm we're looking at each other for the first time but i'm looking at this person that i i know that i think that i know and you're like whoa what This is intense. I'm blushing. It was awesome. Okay, sorry. Please tell everybody what
Mental Health and Personal Struggles
00:06:31
Speaker
show about. Thank you. That's lovely.
00:06:33
Speaker
um My biological mom committed suicide when I was a baby, and i ah have had ah suicidal ideation for sure and and struggle with depression still you know on and off meds and different meds. and um And my favorite is always people are like, get help. And you're like, it's not like you just press a button and you get help. Like, meds are complicated. They don't often, often they don't work or they can make things worse. Or I think it's really interesting that you're like, everybody relates to this. Because some people don't, some people don't struggle with depression. I'm sorry that you relate. And also I'm grateful that you relate.
00:07:07
Speaker
You know, it's it's a weird thing. But yeah, the show is- What do what do you mean you were relate? that you Like that you said you found the show so relatable. i think like I appreciate that. i thought you said that I was late. like oh Oh, no, that you were late. You were late. So as nice as you're being about my show, i don't actually care.
00:07:24
Speaker
Because fuck you. I was like, fuck, what was I late to? No, I'm so relatable. Yeah, yeah. and And I think more more people, deal especially now, are dealing with depression that than like than ever probably than ever yeah yeah with like social media and how um my god visible we're supposed to be and how much we're looking at ourselves which i think is right conducive to depression i will say like i edited the the show myself and watching myself that much also was like a real mind fuck can i curse on is that i don't know how family friendly i need to be you okay great but
00:07:56
Speaker
um But yeah, the show is is, as the title suggests, I'm workshopping my suicide note, so it is funny, hopefully, and it's, you know, kind of bouncing different drafts of the suicide note off of the audience, but there is also depth to the show and and there is a narrative thrust to it, but the the general conceit is like the audience and I are are finding my suicide note together so that I can kill myself.
00:08:19
Speaker
yeah Was it harder for you ah to tell the stories or was it harder for you to make it funny? I think harder to tell the stories.
00:08:30
Speaker
The funny and natural. They're hard in different ways. The funny is a challenge that's exciting. There's a rape joke in the show, which sounds bad. But a clip of it is my most final clip. It also made sense, by the way. Thank you. That rape joke, I was like, that's not a bad...
00:08:49
Speaker
That's not a bad point, dude. it's ah It's like my most viral clip and it's you know it sounds like you don't want to laugh at a rape joke, but it depends, you know, like everybody talks about punching down. You posted that one on Instagram, right?
00:08:59
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's a, that that that that was a, it wasn't only the joke, right? It it was like, that's that's a solid point. Yeah. We should fix that.
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah, it's ah about using the word raper instead of rapist. So it sounds more like murder or killer, traitor. Yeah. yeah um it But well, with that one, like the seed of the joke and there's, you know, the the longer version of it is in the show.
00:09:24
Speaker
um But the first thought I had was like, if I'm ever raped. again and like doing a hair toss like that to me was funny and i had that idea but i'm like that's somewhere in the middle of the joke like how do i build the joke around it so that's the a challenge in terms of like like a little puzzle to solve and i like that part but the challenge of telling some of the stories some nights i just don't want to do it you know the the parts that aren't funny that are like sitting in the discomfort um some nights i really don't want to do it and i just do it anyway you know
00:09:56
Speaker
So they're, I guess, hard in different ways. It's not, that's less like a puzzle to crack, but it is like a me to crack, you know? Yeah, definitely.
Childhood Anxiety and Communication Challenges
00:10:05
Speaker
And I will say to the people listening to this, ah if at times, because the the topics I feel we're talking about, especially together, aren't often spoken about, um at least I haven't, um if you're at all comfortable,
00:10:20
Speaker
what Avital just said about just sitting with it, like be with us through this, um that this the show that I watched, ah i've I've never been affected like that from a show before. So so just ah just understand that when I say that. means a lot.
00:10:37
Speaker
Yeah, it it meant a lot to hear you, just to hear you say that. And you you've been, you know, one one of the things that I thought was interesting. So when I When I was a kid, i would be in class and ah my anxiety would get so bad.
00:10:55
Speaker
my i would I would create this terrible fear of the unknown and I would start saying no, no, no, no no out loud because I thought I was about to die. like i thought Like I thought the end result was death.
00:11:07
Speaker
so So walk me through that because you that would happen, not that specifically, but you would be in class and you would have these, you know, you would have these depressive episodes. what What would happen when you were really young where this for all kind of first started?
00:11:23
Speaker
You know what's funny is i I don't really remember it. I just remember crying. I just remember that I was crying in the back of the classroom, but I can't remember what the feelings were. and i and I remember asking my mom at at some point. So another caveat that I should explain is my biological mom died when I was very young. My dad remarried and I grew up with a mom.
00:11:42
Speaker
um And sometimes people will be like, your stepmom, but she adopted me and she raised me. That's my mom. So it might get confusing. but ah But I asked my mom, like, how did you know? Because I was medicated at like 11. And I'm like, how did you know that I needed meds?
00:11:57
Speaker
And she said, the teachers... called me and they they complained that you were asking too many questions, which is, I don't know if that means I was asking about like death or if that means that, you know, I grew up an Orthodox Jew and you're not supposed to ask certain questions, even though Judaism is actually all about asking questions. So, right It's weird because I don't really remember, but I do remember thinking about death a lot and being sad and being scared. And and also we would learn that when Mashiach comes, you know, the but like um the end of days when the the dead rise and all, like, I remember being afraid of, well, I have this mom, but what about when my dead mom comes back to life and like, who am I going to live with?
00:12:39
Speaker
You know, at 11, as if it was going to happen in six months and I was going to be... suddenly like a child of divorce torn between these two moms or you know like which i guess in hindsight is anxiety but it's also kind of a logical fear given what i was being taught i was holding that in i was gonna wait but i was gonna say that's the logical fear like that's your belief system like if that's your belief system that's gonna happen yeah that's a really logic like was like that's that's not so far off i mean especially at 11 like yeah it's scary that's the way you're supposed to think that sucks that you didn't have and not not to say anything about your parents but
00:13:15
Speaker
that that you didn't have that place to feel safe to be able to separate, you know, the religious beliefs to reality. i don't know if that that's making sense, but yeah make you feel...
00:13:26
Speaker
Like, because how can someone reassure you that's never going to happen while also saying that that part's not true about the religion? Yeah. And also, I did kind of get in trouble about it.
00:13:37
Speaker
Like, this was something that there wasn't really room for in the show or maybe didn't. It's just a lot to get into. But, you know, I think my dad was very protective of my mom and felt like it was really important that I appreciate that I have a mom, which I did and I do.
00:13:51
Speaker
And I think to him it was... I told her and then she mentioned it to him and to my dad. It was like, how how dare you? You have a mom. you know like This is your mother. But it wasn't it was like fear. like She was like the boogeyman and she was going to be like, you're mine. you know like I didn't know. i was And I think I was younger than 11 at this point because it probably preceded my being medicated.
00:14:12
Speaker
ah So it was just a genuine fear and I think, you know, I'm sure my dad has complicated feelings about it as well, but it was treated like I was i was doing this thing on purpose when really I just was scared.
00:14:25
Speaker
It does feel like I'm always just afraid that I'm offending somebody. And like, um I've had a manager even, you know, in in this Hollywood business where like we would be taking out a pitch to somebody and we'd get an offer and I'd be like, shouldn't we take it somewhere else and see if we can get like a bidding war and get, you know, a better deal or offer for it. And he would take it very personally and be like,
00:14:50
Speaker
Why are you arguing with me? Or like I would... And I do think that that's a valid question on my part. And in hindsight, I do still think I'm right. but But I do have this like fear around, and there are certain personality types for sure, that when I'm asking a question genuinely, they think I'm being argumentative or they think that I don't believe them.
00:15:10
Speaker
But I have... um You know what's crazy about that? I'm not interrupting you, but... No, please. I can very much relate to that. Because i don't know why I do this. It must be an insecurity with my communication.
00:15:23
Speaker
When I ask, and I always thought that maybe it's because like I'm a fucking ogre. i'm this big guy with this deep voice. And I'm like, I don't want to you know make this question sound like I'm angry. So I always say, like hey I'm not asking this question out of an argument.
00:15:36
Speaker
I'm genuinely curious. I always say that, especially in like team meetings. ah with my employees because I don't want them to think that I'm questioning them. I really you just want to know what the fuck we're doing. Yeah, I relate to this so hard.
00:15:47
Speaker
and And I think sometimes the danger- That sucks. does suck. We should. Why can't we just ask- We should. It's not fault that you thought- interesting that you're like, because I'm so masculine. You're like a force, but I'm like, I'm not muscular. Not just so masculine. The most masculine, I said. most in the world. The mostest. I thought it just me because of my muscles.
00:16:08
Speaker
You thought your muscles were holding you back, but I don't have any and I feel the same. But really, and I think I've been told, here's the irony of what you were just saying, because I've been told that sometimes when I do exactly that, where I'm like, hey, I'm not doing, I'm genuinely, I'm not trying to argue. I i really want make sure i understand. Addicts fact.
00:16:27
Speaker
That makes it worse. Yes. Because they're like, they think that you are starting an argument and you're trying to like convince them you're not or you're like but hiding behind. You're like i feel like you could like, I said, I'm not arguing. But i get i also get the people who are like, you don't have to explain yourself.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's and they're like that's a nicer one. but But either way, it's like you don't know what – it really is the people. Like it yeah it really depends. And there's so it's – yeah, man, it's so funny to have this conversation. This is the first. This is my first time. Same for me. like Yeah, yeah, so this is great. Or I've said it, but I've never had anybody be like, yes, me too. I've said it and people are like – Okay, because they're it's usually me saying it on the heels of somebody being mad that I asked a question and me being like, this happens a lot wherere where people think that am being passive aggressive or, and but genuinely i I don't understand, so I'm asking. And I often feel that, you know, my fiance, my fiance, Sarah, like the nicest, kindest person in the world.
Navigating Relationship Communication
00:17:26
Speaker
Like I've never, like people always tell me, you know, you see the comments or even in person, they say, you're so nice, you're caring, you're compassionate. I look like Satan compared to Sarah. Okay. it Like it is right.
00:17:41
Speaker
And I'll even with me and it makes me feel so bad. she Like she'll ask me a question. Like, why did you do that with the dogs? And it like, and I can tell it's like a, a coaching opportunity or a training. Like she wants to know why did I move a dog this way? And then, you know, walk the other way. She's just right. And she was, and she'll say, i was just asking,
00:18:02
Speaker
because I wanted to learn, I wasn't questioning you. And i'm like, baby, I know, like I totally know. like i it It has to come from this place, this childhood place, not to say it was her parents, it could be school, like teachers, we never know.
00:18:15
Speaker
But like i feel we should just feel safe to just ask the question and not worry about hurting someone's feelings because I think intention matters. Like intention does matter.
00:18:28
Speaker
It does. And if someone gets mad at you for saying, because that is valid. what That situation with, ah ah was he an agent? Who was He's my manager. A manager.
00:18:39
Speaker
If you're like, yeah, should we go somewhere else? Like you're, you're, you're, it's fun. That's supposed to be fun. And it's career too. not even questioning his life. It's like for my life and my life decisions. And, and I, I feel like I told it a little differently here. Like when I've talked to friends about it in the past, when I was in it,
00:18:57
Speaker
I would be like, I say things badly. like Like, i i whenever I try to ask a question, it comes out wrong. and And it was definitely a me problem. And now in hindsight, I'm a little bit like, that was also a him problem. You know what i mean? It wasn't totally that my communication style is bad or broken or I can't ask questions right. It's also like what you're saying about your fiance. My husband never is like, why are you asking me that?
00:19:18
Speaker
He's never like, how could you? He understands that I have questions. you right and and And at the end of the day, you know it's it's nice that you take some responsibility in and in your communication, but he's the manager.
00:19:32
Speaker
You're the writer. You are good at You're not the person. it's like you're not the first person that that that he had to say why are you trying to tell me how to do my job like that that's how these people roll these egos you know and it's true and it reminded me a lot of a parental kind of relationship it does feel like those relationships repeat in some ways and and i also do see it all over social media like if i'm uh it breaks my heart honestly in the comments um And I know comments aren't good. Like they say, it's not healthy to look at comments.
00:20:06
Speaker
I look at comments to, to like, and what I do is complicated, right? So I want to answer people's questions if I can. um or give them updates. And sometimes in the in the comments, someone will ask me like the most innocent question, like ah how do you dry off the dogs after they get in the lake?
00:20:24
Speaker
And you'll see people be like, what do you think he does? Just leaves him in the cold all night? Like why ask that? It's like, because because we have 200 dogs and she wants to know how we dry them off. Like leave her alone, dude. Like people do make asking the most simple thing, this huge question.
00:20:40
Speaker
deal they make they yeah They try to tear them down. like It's not even like why I asked that. it's It's an attack that they ask question. It's an attack. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, the part like when you were saying it's good to take some accountability, but also, you know, it's on them, I think.
00:20:56
Speaker
and And do you have ADHD?
00:20:59
Speaker
Can you pass me? and I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, I don't know. I do. that That was the primary reason my parents wanted to, not my parents, but to the doc, especially the doctors and the teachers, like they wanted to medicate me because the I thought so, but I was like, I just want to make sure. Cause you know, there's a lot of different diagnoses for roughly the same things. And i mean, you couldn't, like I mean, the the fact that you just asked, that was super offensive. I can't believe you would ask me something.
00:21:24
Speaker
I'm going to go. I'm really sorry. Just delete this whole interview.
00:21:32
Speaker
It's so hard to be a person. It's really hard. That is so well said. that like that it it it is it really is i wait i interrupted you with uh my joke oh that's okay please don't forget you were gonna say the questions and oh yeah it is hard to be a person that that is a great way to put some people make it look easy i don't i wish i were one of those people but yeah man i gotta learn how to like make a fire in the woods and yeah but those people that are couch like catching fish with
00:22:04
Speaker
rope that they made from a tree. they They're the ones that have it figured There should be a class that we can go to for like seven days and be, i don't know why didn't say week. Eight days. there really? Of course. They're all over the place, but no, and we're not doing that.
00:22:17
Speaker
You know that. We'll talk about signing up, but we're not. Our ADHD is so, once we're out there. That's true. We're not going to listen anyway. What are we doing here? It's so true. Although I have been this year kind of excited by, like this is the most ADD conversation already, but like about learning new things because it's good for neuroplasticity. And like um and I had never been skiing and I learned like a couple months ago.
00:22:41
Speaker
Yeah. That's fantastic. I mean, I only got to go for one weekend and I want go again and cement it. But I finally got like a grasp on it and I learned to do something else. What was it? Oh, I played poker for the first time. you figured it out.
00:22:55
Speaker
No, I mean, i learned my friend ah had people at her house for it and like gave us a little coaching and then we had like printouts of what the different hands were so you could reference it. So I still can't play without like a piece of paper telling me what I have. But you technically practiced.
00:23:10
Speaker
And I won. I played with people that had played many times and I won. i made like a hundred bucks. Yeah, I don't know how to do like any of those things. I'm always telling myself, you gotta you gotta learn something new.
00:23:22
Speaker
I always you i do can't play chess. I want to learn to play chess. I was just going to say chess. You took mine. Really? Yeah, I always see like the smartest people playing chess and it just looks, I just saw this guy. i was scrolling on Instagram and I saw like the number one chess player in the world he's this he's been the number one forever this this 19 year old kid beat him you know and i you yeah and you i'm watching chess as if i'm watching a basketball game i have no idea and i don't even watch basketball i don't know why i don't watch sports but i'm watching this chess match and it's so intense and i don't even i don't know what pieces
00:24:01
Speaker
I couldn't tell you what they're doing. And then out of nowhere, the world master just hits the table, like collects his emotions, just shakes the guy's hand and runs off. And I'm like, I gotta learn that.
00:24:13
Speaker
Yes. oh my gosh. Also, I feel like it would be healing for you because you have this kind of childhood core wound of like not being smart and you're like chess is a smart people thing. It would probably be very good for you.
00:24:25
Speaker
You're so good. I mean, tell it, like you're so, uh, Yeah, I can't believe this is the first time we have spoken. i am enjoying this conversation so much. Me You have made my day.
00:24:36
Speaker
i feel... ah
00:24:40
Speaker
so understood and I felt understood just from watching your special to have this kind of conversation with you means so much to me. So I thank you. I um and i feel so lucky to have this conversation with you. What a wild.
00:24:53
Speaker
beautiful Yeah. And even just that, that, that paranoia around questions. Oh, just to finish that thought, the ADHD thing and how it ties to questions is that I think um at least for me, and and there's so many different manifestations of ADHD and and the different things that hit for different people, but like,
00:25:10
Speaker
what In hindsight, a symptom of it is like in high school, I would freak out because I would be like, okay, I have to take a shower and do my homework and call this person back.
00:25:20
Speaker
and And I would just spin out. It wouldn't be that many things, but i would they would all have equal importance. That's the thing is like a difficulty prioritizing. And I feel like a lot of my question asking does come from that of like,
00:25:34
Speaker
overthinking, overanalyzing, but also having difficulty grasping, ah like prioritizing. And so if you want me to go to the store to get something, it's like, OK, do you need me to go right now? Or do want is it can I go after i wash my hair? Like questions that seem so dumb that people are like, are you stalling?
00:25:53
Speaker
But it is me actively trying to wrap my head around something that I think to other people is simple. And to me, it isn't. Right. And I think that's tied to ADHD. Right. Because check them We need to check them off. They're they're yeah they're important.
00:26:06
Speaker
Like they don't need explanation. They're important. Yes. And they need like, it's, it's it's not just, okay, I'm going to go to the gym. It's like, okay, I'm going to change. I'm going to put my contacts in. I'm going to put my shoes on. I'm going to have to drive and look for parking. And you what Like everything see, calculate all the time as you go. Are you calculating? Sometimes I try to, and then I'm overthinking it. And sometimes yeah I just go, that'll take five minutes and it takes two hours. And now, yeah, where days I am so critical about the time it like, I, I,
00:26:37
Speaker
It's very weird. I obsess about those things that you just... Some of that might be which I have too. Yeah, which is weird because I'm not very organized. always assume that people with OCD need something a certain place. And I'm like...
00:26:51
Speaker
this functional I have like dysfunctional OCD. It's really weird. Well, what I learned actually doing this show, i kept freaking out that I was a bad person for doing this show and that my family was going to disown me. And and there's um moral, um can't believe I'm forgetting what it's called, but there there's like an OCD that is around being a good person.
Dissociation and Trauma
00:27:11
Speaker
Also, a lot of that like replaying conversations of like, does this person hate me now? Am I in trouble? though That can be OCD. But i'm not I'm not a psychiatrist or, you know what i mean, a therapist or I'm not a professional. but Yeah, the but the am I in trouble mindset is is one I've lived in in a long time as well.
00:27:28
Speaker
Same, and I guess that can also be ADD. So, you know, there's a lot of comorbidities and overlapping and I didn't mean to make this all diagnostic, but. No, no, no. Out of curiosity, when did animals come into your life?
00:27:44
Speaker
I was going to say if ever, but I know that you recently rescued a dog, but do yeah do you always love animals? Yes. You were always drawn to animals? so Always, I remember when we were five and in, when I was five, we, you and I were five, when I was five yeah and in Israel we adopted, well, I don't know, it was like a neighbor. I just remember begging for a dog. As as long as I can remember, i'd been I'd been begging for a dog. And I love cats too. I really do love all animals, but it was it was always kind of dogs for some reason and I would draw dogs.
00:28:16
Speaker
I still have the, I draw dogs the same way I do. Yeah, really? Only still today, and And I draw, like, it's a good thing. It's a good way to, if I am having anxiety or if I'm just not feeling good, i and know I'm not good at it.
00:28:31
Speaker
um Even though my dad's an artist, you would think that I'm good at it. But um I only draw fish and dogs. I would love when we get off this call to send each other our the way that we draw dogs.
00:28:43
Speaker
Because I've been drawing them the same way since I was like four. It's safe okay bad. Okay. So i do I start with the nose. So I do the nose. And then I'll do the head. And I'll do a little ear.
00:28:54
Speaker
And then I do the body. ah do the tail. The legs. And sometimes when I was younger. And I still do it because it just makes me laugh. And it's a great um like a ah pattern shift. It's like my own pattern interrupt.
00:29:08
Speaker
but when I draw a dog, I know this is so immature. Don't forget, I started when I was really young. You draw the penis? No. What if was like, I do. i draw a dick on every dog. I draw this huge dick on the dog, and I'm like, yeah, sure.
00:29:25
Speaker
Piss and a big dick on every dog.
00:29:29
Speaker
No matter how big the dog is, the dick is the same size. Yeah. I don't know why I'm so confident. This chihuahua just walking on his dick. He's like, help me. Dragging behind him.
00:29:44
Speaker
I was going to say shit. I would always draw the dog is like taking like these these little rabbit turns. gosh, you have to send me a drawing when we when we get off.
00:29:55
Speaker
Maybe you can post our drawing side by side somewhere. It'll only take 30 seconds to draw. So it'd be my pleasure to. And then, yeah, my fish my fish are the same. I always draw a fish. And then I don't know if this is like an emotional thing or I mean a trauma thing, but there's always somewhere there that fish is getting eaten.
00:30:13
Speaker
So it's either coming from the bottom or the end, but like you just see the mouth like closing in on the fish. That's that's my my finisher move, I guess. Do you like fish? do you love How do you feel about fish?
00:30:25
Speaker
I love all animals. Like I have appreciation. Like I really do. I just love, I love the fact that everything that has life, we are just these bodies with like these vessels with like inside, I think it's so fucking weird how like I share the fact that when I die and when a fish dies, it's like like in my belief, like whatever, like it's the same.
00:30:53
Speaker
Like we're we're we're now like that body is, we could both be eaten. We both only had two eyes, one mouth, one heart. like whether you're rhinoceros, a monkey, a like the fact that we all have this in common, like I just really appreciate life and its beauty.
00:31:11
Speaker
um And as well ah as well as, especially in order to help me grieve, as well as the the freedom that death offers, you know, ah which is why i started crying when you said, know,
00:31:27
Speaker
This was so fucked up. And when I say fucked up, I don't mean like wrong. I mean, it was so fucked up to do to my heart. Like i was like, oh my God, I just wanted to fucking hug you. Like I wanted to protect you. And I know that's not why you did the show. So, but you can't control like how certain people are going to react to it, right? yeah Like I wanted to,
00:31:45
Speaker
like jump through the screen onto the stage and be like, I know you have an amazing fucking husband who's hilarious because I love his shit, but like you are like you are not, like no one is ever going to fuck with you.
00:31:58
Speaker
You know? you i But I'm sure so many people can relate to this. There was two things, but you said, <unk> and um I don't want to ruin it, but death is like a blackout but forever.
00:32:12
Speaker
And that was like,
00:32:15
Speaker
to to to to view it almost sounded you know and and if you want to explain it but for me it was like that separation that black that it was like a positive like the blackout was a positive you were you were separated you know because to can can i quote this one one more thing that was i just thought you got me so choked up just you saying you wanted to protect me it was like a it was for you to tell the truth And I'm not trying to create suspense, everyone.
00:32:45
Speaker
I just want you know I'm trying to be respectful to Avital because the show is not released yet. And I only learned right before we started the show that the show was not released yet. So I'm really not trying to create suspense, although ah you'd be doing yourself a disservice not to watch it once it comes out.
00:33:01
Speaker
Oh, would it be cool if you gave everyone if ah your email? I never asked you this sorry. When can people find out when the show comes out? And how can I find out like when the show comes out without you just telling me?
00:33:14
Speaker
I think, um well, if you follow me on socials, of course, that helps. at where can Where can everyone follow you? sorry Instagram at Avital Ash, TikTok at Avital Ash, and YouTube, I think it's the real Avital Ash because I locked myself out of it 10 years ago.
00:33:29
Speaker
but the But the best is to sign up for the email list, which is avitalash.com, and there's like an email sign up, and then I'll send something out as soon as I know like when I'm releasing it and where and...
00:33:39
Speaker
And if we sign up for that, i'm I'm assuming it's not just the show, but like you'll keep us updated on other stuff you're doing. Yeah. Yeah. The show will be the big one, but um but like when I'm touring and stuff too. So you're honest about what happens to you.
00:33:52
Speaker
You're young. um you went You trusted somebody. Something terrible happens. You tell everybody what happens. And your dad just says your name as if he didn't believe you.
00:34:08
Speaker
And you said that was the, this is so rough, dude. or You should have had somebody next to you, right? Like yeah I wish somebody held your hand because then you say that was the first time I disassociated.
00:34:25
Speaker
Almost like that's where you learned how to do it. Yeah, I think that might be true. you're and you're I don't feel like any of us are supposed to learn how to disassociate from our parents, you know?
00:34:39
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it is also wild to think like, um you know, I wonder if he remembers. I wonder how, if and how it affected him.
00:34:51
Speaker
And um yeah, I think I've gotten better at not disassociating, but there is a time and where it might feel like it's kind of a skill where it's like a mercy to not be there or to like view something as if it's not happening to you.
00:35:09
Speaker
Well, it's protecting yourself. yeah you you You disassociate when you can't. I mean, when I say you, I don't mean you. Yeah, a person. Yeah, upper thank you. Like, I think often, at least for me, you know, i we disassociate when we're not able to be there for ourselves, nor is anybody else. So it's our only option.
00:35:30
Speaker
Yeah, I think there's also stuff in I know there there's like a complicated legacy around it in The Body Keeps the Score, but it is like, you know, there's there's examples of people in much worse situations where it's, you know, like ah like a ah a car, i think he talks about some crazy car accident where like somebody falls on top of their car and is like burning alive and there's two people in the car seeing it happen and one of them just doesn't remember it at all.
00:35:58
Speaker
And one of them, I think, remembers it very vividly. And it it is just a way to protect yourself. and And my show does deal with that too, with of like the things that I forgot. That there's no reason I should have forgotten other than like a protective mechanism, you know?
00:36:14
Speaker
Yeah. When I, the show that I saw, how many times had you done it?
Performing and Audience Reception
00:36:22
Speaker
Probably like 40.
00:36:26
Speaker
Because I did the Fringe Festival, so you do it thirty almost 30 times. What was the first one like? The first one was mostly... and and then tell me, what did it feel like after? Because I couldn't imagine getting off stage after doing that.
00:36:40
Speaker
it Did a lot of the jokes land? Like I was really surprised and not surprised that they weren't funny. You didn't find it funny at all. Well, I think you... I was recovering. So like i like, I was happy that you did it because it made me feel a little bit less protective.
00:36:55
Speaker
Okay. So it like, it would and it also made me laugh. ah We share the same sense of humor. Like you're going to say the fucking joke, right? Like regardless, it's going to land. From what I got from that one show I saw of yours, but it was so important.
00:37:07
Speaker
I was like, wow. I really respect the fuck out of this woman. She's gonna say it. She's gonna say the joke that like, cause you said a lot of jokes that I think I would think while talk, while I say something. Oh, interesting. I'll think of it.
00:37:19
Speaker
and i'm like am I a bad person for thinking that? And then you say it, people laugh. I'm like, there's a few of us out there. Okay. Yeah. Well, we really do have a ah very similar sense of humor. Yeah. Yeah. It was just dry. You know, it's yeah. And I think it's not, wouldn't say needed, but it definitely helps someone like me ah to, to again, to say like, Hey, this person doesn't need you.
00:37:46
Speaker
Right. I don't need to rescue you. I don't like, I don't, I don't need to find your email and say, you know, if you ever need to talk, like you are, you are working through this. You got, there there was just so many reasons why I was like, I'm really glad she was able to find humor in this, but, but I, I just need to know like, how does it feel to be that vulnerable?
00:38:09
Speaker
And that's the word I'm looking for. i I, I think I wouldn't say I pride myself on vulnerable, but vulnerability. Um, or being able to speak obviously, but I think a lot of people will tell me how much they appreciate my vulnerability.
00:38:25
Speaker
And I've never heard vulnerability like yours. So I'm curious after the first one, or like how do you feel after after being that raw and that open on stage? There was a lot of um people saying, like do you find it so healing? do you and And honestly, for a long time, no.
00:38:45
Speaker
i would feel really I wouldn't think that, by the way. I wouldn't assume that it was healing. And weirdly, it's it's embarrassing to say, but you know the show that you watched, I did two shows back-to-back at the Elysian so that I could like edit it together if you know I messed something up or whatever.
00:39:00
Speaker
And I did those two shows. I got standing ovations at both, which doesn't always happen, which was really nice. And I felt like no surprise after I felt so bad. And for the entire next day, i was like, I really fucked it up. Like those were my worst two shows I've ever done.
00:39:16
Speaker
um Everybody that has said anything nice is just trying to be nice. um my god Even then when people did say nice things, I was like, they're not as nice as the the things people normally say, you know, like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah God, yeah. um I felt so bad after these two. it was kind of crazy. But then sometimes it would feel kind of euphoric. And like even though I'm doing the same material over and over, sometimes something would break through to myself like and I would understand something differently. like While you were on stage.
00:39:47
Speaker
Yeah, or right after. So the big... Doing it the first time, I would say, was mostly... And this is where I relate to you being like, I'm dumb, I'm just not smart. It was mostly just like, I'm not going to be able to remember my lines. I'm not smart enough to remember an hour. like you know And I did sometimes forget important parts. And I remember one of the best shows I ever did where I actually felt really good after and and everybody was nice in the exact right way to me, you know?
00:40:10
Speaker
I still forgot, i don't want to say what, but like one of my favorite lines of the whole show at the very end that I think is really important and I didn't even tell it. um and And so, yeah, there's always a way to be critical of myself. but when i So, Edinburgh Fringe Festival is the biggest arts festival in the world. What's called?
00:40:30
Speaker
The Edinburgh Fringe Festival in Scotland. And um some people will do just like a week, but that traditionally people perform their show for almost a month. I think I had 26 shows.
00:40:41
Speaker
And after day two, really after probably day one, I was like, what the fuck was I thinking? Like, why did I think this was a good idea? It's so taxing. It's an emotional show. Like, I'm not going to do this for a month. You did 26 shows in a matter of how long?
00:40:56
Speaker
In 27 days, we had one day off. like the show that I saw? yeah You did 26 times in 27 days? Yeah. I think it was actually like 28 times in 29 days, because ah I also had done like a warm up in London right before. And um yeah, it was wild. I am speechless.
00:41:18
Speaker
I cannot believe that. i But it did turn. like It got to a different place where then I was like... It did become more healing to do it.
00:41:29
Speaker
And not as... i mean, there were definitely nights where I didn't want to do it and I was dreading certain parts of the show. I don't want to tell this thing. I don't to this thing. um But it but it it started to feel so different in my body throughout the course of that month. Sometimes it was really hard. Sometimes it felt really beautiful. Sometimes it...
00:41:47
Speaker
and And it is also where I had the most like positive feedback where, because um the venue that I worked with, Monkey Barrel, are amazing and they are much more artist friendly than all the other venues during Fringe Festival or at least the paid venues. And they let you like collect tips at the end. So I would sit there with like a bucket and people would line up and like give me money. and But they would also wanna talk to you. They would also tell you about their experience and and yeah. yeah yeah but And it would be really like, like you said, you like my husband's work, which is really nice. And and he's so funny. And I don't doubt that he actually has touched countless people's lives.
00:42:27
Speaker
But he was just like, you know, people always like tell me that I make them laugh, but I'm never getting people saying the kind of intense things that they say to you after this show.
00:42:38
Speaker
Because, yeah, people want to you about... Oh, your husband Your husband said that. Yeah. would see it, you know, where people would wait to talk to me sometimes or... And I don't think most people I mean, that... Yeah, there's...
00:42:51
Speaker
I mean, it's an over an hour of, you know, getting to know someone. So, i mean, you start, you just, you really set the framework from the the beginning.
00:43:03
Speaker
yeah I mean, I love that yeah there was no like, how's everybody doing? you know, I mean, it was it was right to it. It was so vulnerable and so open that it's not just your husband. I mean, I don't think but anyone will ever be able to hear hear how someone thinks about a video like that you know it's uh yeah gosh helping me feel like i guess i should release it so thanks for reminding me of why that's important because yeah you know doing it live you have it's none my business it's none of my business and um if there's anything i could do to to help or you know um i i would love to but i i i think can i give my opinion
00:43:46
Speaker
Yeah. My suggestion, like really, you know, find find a way to release it, like get like whether it be YouTube or something. I mean, that it's a it's a gift that that's a gift, man.
00:43:58
Speaker
You know, that's a gift for so many people. It was a gift for me. It was such a beautiful surprise. It was just so refreshing. And um it was just a beautiful, beautiful gift.
00:44:10
Speaker
I I'm I'm very grateful for it. Yeah. and And it's so you, like just talking to you now and and here, I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, it's... But i did I did have a question. i have a few questions. so I really appreciate that. Just so you know, it is helpful to hear and be like, okay, um it's not for nothing, you know.
Strategies for Show Release
00:44:29
Speaker
it's No, it's not for nothing. And it's so raw. And there's no ego. ah Not that that it would be bad if there was. I just haven't, you know, it there was... ah It was perfect, obviously. like i'm I'm telling you right now, ah the the whole thing was perfect.
00:44:46
Speaker
So like wherever your doubts are... Very kind of you. Yeah, wherever your doubts are, you've perfected it, man. It is perfect. It is amazing. It would even be a great audio. I think that you should probably put it on an audio book on Amazon. Yeah, I would turn it into an audio, and I would sell it.
00:45:07
Speaker
is what I would do and then down the road um after a year of it being for sale I would then um figure out how to sell it on YouTube or do it on YouTube or something like that um I won't like I'll pick your brain more maybe off yeah and yeah absolutely absolutely um it it would even be a great um like ah a mini book like a travel book so you could you could put it into this like something small mean it didn't have to be something small but um I probably use this as an example because it was right in front of me.
00:45:35
Speaker
I did have ah a book agency see it in Scotland and reach out about me turning it into a book. And it's another thing that I've been like kind of dragging on because of just the complexity of, you know, yeah being so accessible.
00:45:45
Speaker
I think that being, i think that's a great idea, but nothing will, nothing will beat watching it. Yeah. Because seeing you, to seeing your facial expression and seeing you like sit with it, like sit would sit with the thought and then be able to tell that it was just this beautiful back and forth.
00:46:04
Speaker
I couldn't help but wonder, and ah this is a total assumption that is made about me all the time. And I honestly don't know if it's true or if it's just my personality and people just like to try to make assessments of me.
00:46:16
Speaker
So I made that same assumption about you. And then I was like, well, maybe you're doing to her what people always do to you. So was it any of like, sometimes when I get really vulnerable, I'm like, I'm too vulnerable right now. Let me make a joke.
00:46:32
Speaker
Right. so like yeah Is that a lot of, or is is there a lot in there where you're like, this is so intense that I got to lighten it up? Yeah. I mean, it's both. It's like, you know, ostensibly a standup show. It's like a hybrid standup storytelling. So has to be funny. you forget.
00:46:50
Speaker
forget. Watching it, you forget that it's a standup, you know? because you feel more like a mood or because it feels more like in what way? Cause there's so much inner work that you're dealing with while watching it Yeah.
00:47:03
Speaker
Like you like it's confronting yeah yeah mean usually when you're watching a standup, it's, you know, someone who's self deprecating, but you know, you're laughing at them and they're laughing at them.
00:47:14
Speaker
This is like, you know, we're we're either saying me too, or I can't believe this, or I wish I was there. And then we're laughing. It's like, can I laugh? You know, like yeah seeing you laugh gives me that permission to laugh, which is why I think seeing the show is so important.
00:47:31
Speaker
Yeah. And I do find like maybe the most traumatized of us are the ones laughing the hardest generally, you know? Fucking God, that's so beautifully said. 100%. 100%. like the rape stuff especially.
00:47:43
Speaker
the rapes that Because there's a release. That laugh. It's this aha. It's like she gets it or he gets it. It's says ah. So that rule that hard laughter is that acceptance that release of like oh my god yes you know yeah you get it yeah there's a lot of tension and release in the show for sure a lot of tension and release which is what a great movie a great show a great anything is all about this is just at a point that no one has ever done before It's really so nice of you. I'm gonna have an ego now for the next one.
00:48:13
Speaker
Yeah, like, yeah it'll give me I'm about to talk a little bit of shit and I'm not talking shit about this person. It's just my opinion, okay? Like, the rapper Logic has ah a rap about suicide, right? Like, the name of the the song is the the suicide hotline number.
00:48:30
Speaker
And I remember I watched this documentary and how it was like, so, and i I never felt the emotions listening to that song. I never felt like I had anything Logic seems like a great guy. Okay. I i know nothing about him, whatever.
00:48:44
Speaker
But I listened to the song multiple times after that documentary and I'm like, I don't get it. Like, um you know, so and that's the only other person i I know of anyone publicly talking about those types of thoughts.
00:48:58
Speaker
This was so... like you you were like you're doing this show while you're holding onto my heart. you know was like, oh my God. Yeah. That's a beautiful image. it I like it. Blood flushing everywhere. Yeah, I love it. um Okay, so question for you.
00:49:17
Speaker
Tell me, ah i i saw the picture of you and your husband and i i guess it's a, we we don't know for sure what kind of dog it is, but a multi-se mix of some sort, just the cutest dog I've ever seen. click Can you pull up the picture?
00:49:36
Speaker
but were you Were you on that text or was it just me and DJ? Well, we'll add it. I'll send it to you and we'll add it in the video. But tell me, what is this what is this dog's name? ah And is this your guys' first dog? Because your husband's face in that photo, yeah, here it is right here.
00:49:57
Speaker
He's so happy. Your husband's face in that photo is the epitome of a guy who just got his dog. Like that is the face anytime I go to a shelter, you're just like, can you believe it but He's like, can you know believe It's funny because he's a little bit less old than I am, but only because, okay, so so this is not my first rescue dog. I had a dog honestly very similar looking to her, and and that's like 15 years ago, so maybe I'm healing some sort of old wound, but...
00:50:29
Speaker
I got a senior dog and she was like the love of my life. when I remember when I first got her, they thought she was like three or four. And then the vet here was like, I think she's like 10 or 11. And then I'd flown with her back to Miami and she got bitten by a bunch of mosquitoes and was having a reaction, took her to the vet there who was like, I think she's 15.
00:50:45
Speaker
So like, we don't know. um She also had had puppies, much like the dog now, Phoebe. um Don't know where they were. Her life was a mystery, but she was like my soulmate dog.
00:50:56
Speaker
And your dad your new dog's name is Phoebe? Yes, the new dog is Phoebe. And the dog you're talking about, what's her name? What was her name? Junebug. Oh, I have a dog named Junebug. You do? Yeah, she's a pug Chihuahua mix. Clint is shaking his head because he hates she hates him.
00:51:10
Speaker
Really? She just doesn't like new people very much and she'll bite their Achilles and wow it's hilarious, but she's like this, she's mostly all pug. I'm sorry, Clint. I was like, aww, she bites him. She's very special I love her so much. But anyways. My Joonbug was also just so, so special and and didn't bite anybody. She was very sweet, but but I was definitely her person. Like sure everybody else had really had to earn it and I had to earn it too. And she looks very similar to Phoebe where like people think they're puppies, but they're not.
00:51:43
Speaker
And so then I got- Phoebe looks so young. Phoebe looks like puppy. They think she's two and she's had puppies. Yeah. Yeah. I just learned that from when you just said she- that she had puppies. I i was going ask you, there's no way she's such a puppy. Yeah.
00:51:58
Speaker
So I got Luke, who is 13 and a half now, but I got him as a puppy. He's a Chihuahua Terrier mix. Here, I'll show you. He's still my phone background until I get one of him and Phoebe. Aww.
00:52:12
Speaker
I like this one because it looks like a selfie he took. Yeah, it does. And I have a dog that looks like that as well. I'll send you a picture of Molly. It looks just like him. Yeah, the female version. She's really old. She's 16.
00:52:25
Speaker
Rescuing a senior dog is so special, I think. I mean, all of them are. But they really appreciate and have whole lives.
Passion for Animal Rescue
00:52:33
Speaker
what What made you get into rescue? like what what Where were you first introduced to rescuing dogs?
00:52:39
Speaker
You know, it's funny because I can't remember when I found out about it, but I'm i'm so against breeders. and yeah I try not to be too judgmental, but often people are like, but I really want this one specific breed. It's like you still can find it from a rescue. And I guess I hear a lot of people say, you know, the rescue places will do like home checks and you're on a list and you wait forever. And it's like, okay, go to the shelter.
00:53:01
Speaker
Like you don't have to do it through a rescue organization. to the shelter. 100%. And I always tell people, it's like they're like, I went to the shelter. They didn't have the dog I wanted. I said, go the next day. Yes.
00:53:11
Speaker
Yes. but It's so sad. but On your way home, there's going to be 25 new dogs there. Go home. Come back the next day. if it has to be that day, go to another shelter. like Well, if it if it has to be that day, then you don't need to work on yourself. You shouldn't get a dog. You should work on it. It's true. I get a dog, but like do do a little bit of work. Like that whole...
00:53:29
Speaker
And that's me, by the way. like I'm not being critical. I've been that person like for many years of my life where I was obsessive and when there was something I wanted, I had to have it that day. And that was like a time period where I look back at myself and there was a lot of things that...
00:53:45
Speaker
I could have worked on to be a better person. You should never, I've had that too. Thank you for reminding me. Cause I was critical. i'm like, yeah, then don't get a dog. But I've been that person too, where things feel so out of control in different ways. And this is the way that you exact control over your life is I'm going to do this thing today. Like, right. Yeah. If you, if, if you are going to a breeder, cause you want a dog today, like just don't be that person.
00:54:07
Speaker
And that doesn't make you a bad person. Like we could just make better decisions that would, that, It's ultimately smarter. What I try to tell people, like it's smarter for you. like Anything in my life, I can't give you specific examples. I totally would.
00:54:20
Speaker
But that I needed that day, right i had to have it. like um I assure you it wasn't important. yeah you know it wasn't it was It wasn't important. If it's really important, take the time right to find the right dog.
00:54:33
Speaker
And there's just not a better place to do that than the shelter. they they The shelter needs the help. the dog needs the help and just from like for me from a rescuer the amount of dogs that we take from people we get 400 emails a day over 400 emails a day from people asking if we'll take their dog and there's no judgment towards people people hit really hard times I think uh it's terrible that people you know make a lot of these people feel
00:55:05
Speaker
feel so, so bad about making such a ah hard decision. But most of the time, these people who are asking us to take their dog, they got their dog from a breeder. You know, it it's, it's it's either to a rescue or it's to the shelter. yeah like you're you're You're essentially getting a breeder dog no matter what.
00:55:22
Speaker
you know You're just yeah helping the shelter out. So there's lot of ways look at it. the instead of encouraging more breeding, which like I guess that that's the part that, again, I don't think it helps to be judgmental and you don't know where anybody's coming from. But the part that I always trip up on is like if you love animals, you don't want to encourage more of them not having homes. And by going to breeders, that's just more and more and and And it's also about like the knowing who you're supporting when when you see the puppy, right? When people see the ah puppy, whether they're looking at puppy finder or Craigslist, they see the puppy and they they melt, right? So you're not logical in that moment.
00:56:03
Speaker
You don't really care. You just have to have that puppy. But what they don't realize is, is where that puppy is coming from, the person selling it, does not give a shit about that puppy at all.
00:56:15
Speaker
so And I do hear people say all the time, no, no, this breeder's different, they really care. It's like, but if you really care, want the dogs to find homes that already need them instead of adding more dogs. I just rescued a ah whole family of cats and kittens.
00:56:31
Speaker
they're like They're unhealthily cute. so like when I want to see. it's not It's not good. like I'm not just saying it because they're mine. I have never in my life seen such a cute cat or kitten. it it It'll make you feel like you're like, I i want to be this kitten.
00:56:47
Speaker
Oh, my God. I can't wait to see. well I'll set it to you. But as I'm loading them, like i I'm in shock, right? I'm loading them into my car. i'm I'm taking selfies. And ah and the the gentleman...
00:57:02
Speaker
He goes, wow, it's so cool. I swear to you, I wish I was filming. I almost wanted to be like, can you say that one more time? Because that would be great content. He goes, i wish. And he has this really strong Russian accent. And he's like, ah he's like, wow.
00:57:18
Speaker
it's nice to see, i can't do a Russian accent. I'll just do it. I'm doing like an Israeli accent over here. He goes, it's nice to see how much you're going to care for them. He goes, we have no emotional attachment to them at all.
00:57:31
Speaker
We just use them for breeding. And I had just stopped filming and I'm like, That was such a good opportunity to show. Yeah. They're these Persian kittens. They're insane.
00:57:45
Speaker
And I got the mom and the dad. And I was like, that was such a good opportunity not to get, not to have people hate on him. i don't show his face, but it's like a business, but just to show people the reality of it.
00:57:56
Speaker
Right. Yeah. And is it not 100% of them? Okay, fine. What if it's 90%? Does that mean we should be doing it? Well, and also intention matters, like you said, but to a point, like, I mean, also the intention is to make money, but it's like, if, if you're breeding a dog and you care about the dog,
00:58:12
Speaker
That matters somewhat, but it also... I mean, obviously it's better than when people treat them horribly, because you see the the mama dogs neglected all the time. just I mean, we think Phoebe might have been used for breeding. like You see the time. Probably. I mean, if she's that cute and she had puppies, that makes sense. Yeah.
00:58:28
Speaker
i think so And she's she was way more housebroken than I was expecting, so like I think somebody that's great cared enough to housebreak her probably because... she was giving them puppies and they needed her to not piss and shit in the house, but not enough to not abandon her. So yeah I think she probably was used for breeding.
00:58:45
Speaker
and are they getting along well, the two of them? They are, but they're not like buddies She's acting like a classic younger sibling, which is really cute. And like, I was going to say, there's a huge age gap. It'll take some time for him to like accept her, you know? Yes. He loved her because he, here's a thing that's wild. Luke started having seizures and now he loves all dogs.
00:59:07
Speaker
He's thankfully been seizure free for about a year, but like, it's almost like he saw the light. The senior black chihuahua, Luke. Yeah, he he started having We got to send you some of our CBD. that That's the whole reason I started Astro House Wellness CBD. Really? Because my dog Lily was having seizures. Yeah.
00:59:22
Speaker
i will say Oh my gosh. Yeah, She literally was the inspiration for starting it. Also, he loves the treats. we couldn't We didn't give them to him for a while because he because you sent some treats over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he, and they both love them. And it's like what we're using to train them with. And they're such good high quality treats because the other thing that's wild, this is such an insane thing to get into. I mean, he is on seizure meds, but he also was having, he was itchy and he was like not sleeping. So now he's on like a strict diet, but he's essentially keto, which is, was developed as like an anti-epileptic diet. It was literally developed for seizures, which is not why he's on it, but he is on it.
00:59:58
Speaker
And all of your treats are keto or at least all the ones that I have. they All of them are, yeah. Yeah. So it's like now it's perfect and now it's exactly what he needs and he and Phoebe are very motivated by it. The amount of alignment here is almost scary now. it It is. It's pretty nuts. Now it's like perfect because he's on this. but like by the That was the final box.
01:00:18
Speaker
Look at us. We're morphing into one, I don't know, diamond? Did just become best friends? I think we did. We might have to I mean, I would love to meet all your dogs. oh i would You live in LA, yeah?
01:00:32
Speaker
Yeah. Where are you again? You have to come out. Salem, Oregon. You should totally come out. You could bring the dogs. You would actually be staying in the house that I am right now. You can stay here, bring your husband, bring whomever you'd like.
01:00:43
Speaker
ah We would have the best... DJ will come out for it. we We'll have the best time ever. Oh, would amazing. yeah. We'll make whole day out of figure out a time. I would love to see them. The fall would be awesome. If you could come out in October, November.
01:00:56
Speaker
I'm actually... um You're more than welcome to come. I'm having... uh i have like a really really close patreon community they're coming out in october um i don't know if it would like we could talk about this offline but you just have such an incredible story if you wanted to talk to them for 10 minutes you know ah i think they would love you honestly i just think they would love you and there's such a beautiful group of people there's going to be about 150 of them out here wow yeah and i'm giving them a full tour it's like yeah it's in october but we'll we'll coordinate and um Okay, that sounds great. We'll figure something out. we can Yeah, i would love to meet all of the dogs. I mean, it sounds like a dream. But regardless, yeah well if that date doesn't work, we'll find a time for you and EJ to come out here and make day or a weekend out of it.
01:01:40
Speaker
and And I do want to also add, just in in terms of as we're talking about rescue, and you know it's also complicated because I love animals, as we've said, and then it's like I'm feeding my dogs meat, and that's complicated, and and i like hate factory farms. I'll never eat anything from...
01:01:57
Speaker
a factory farm and it's like ultimately it's like I'm valuing my dog's life over like a cow's life but I also think ultimately you have to you start with yourself and your family and your community and whatever so I don't know it's complicated but one way that I've been offsetting some of that guilt is by volunteering at the animal shelter and And that's where I met Phoebe because I was coming in and exactly you're exactly right. Like I'll sometimes start going around with treats. And by the time I'm back at the front, there's new dogs, like literally over the course of one lap. And as far as the guilt, like not that you're asking, but because I tend to automatically go to guilt and shame.
01:02:35
Speaker
like yeah just I could be thinking of nothing and that will pop up a hundred percent you know me too yeah ah we just gotta everyone just has to do what they can a little bit of their part and not add to the problem you know if if like I it's it's a jungle out there like and and if your contribution to the badness is feeding your dog meat I feed my dogs meat I think we're doing a pretty good job better than most It's impossible to do it perfectly. No, it's not.
01:03:07
Speaker
There's no way. It wasn't meant to be. That's the thing. it it that It wasn't meant to be perfect. That's so hard for me to hold on to because I do always feel like I'm doing something wrong.
01:03:18
Speaker
A lot of badness and shame and and that feeling of like being in trouble. and It was like what you said in the beginning that I thought was a really beautiful. It's really hard to be human, but it's also just hard to be alive.
01:03:29
Speaker
you know like Yeah. you You look at these, I hate these videos and they're so natural and I and i watch them, but you look at these bears fighting, you know, over a a female bear. I mean, these two male bears, they could just walk the other way. Like, go ahead and have her.
01:03:45
Speaker
Go have her. I'll find another female bear. yeah You have these two bears ripping each other's eyes out, trying to kill each other. you have this baby moose, you know, that gets attacked by the lion or probably a bear, whatever. Like, it's it's just, there's chaos, you know? And we all just have to do our part to not add to the violence and to be good. And you are, like you, Avital, you are so good.
01:04:10
Speaker
Like, you your whole aura is good. youre The way you speak is good. Like, I know, especially after hearing that I feel like I relate to you in so many ways.
01:04:24
Speaker
But don't forget, you know, there's there's nothing out there that like what you've done. You're the one and only. You're the one and only. And that that one and only could be something bad.
01:04:38
Speaker
It could be something sad. Yours is so magic. It's so magic. And I know that these are just words, but God, If you were like, if you were my kid or my sister or someone I've known my whole life and I watched that, I would be so proud of you.
01:04:58
Speaker
i would never look at you the same way again. For that to be my intro to you, i am so grateful and I feel so blessed that that was the introduction to our beautiful new friendship.
01:05:11
Speaker
So thank you for that. oh thank you for that that's so nice i'm gonna cry but like a good cry yeah yeah figured you didn't have to explain yeah yeah i do though that's how are you mad at me right i'm so mad at you god um remember when you well listen sorry i'm so late um well thank you uh thank you deeply oh my gosh thank i i really hope that this is the one of many times you'll be on here i um
01:05:42
Speaker
Me too. and And I have no doubt that by the next time you're on here, many, many of people will have heard your story and will have watched your special because um I have no doubt it will change many people's lives. And thank you for doing that.
01:05:59
Speaker
And thank you for being on the show with me. It means a lot to me. It was a real pleasure getting to know you. likewise what a i mean what a surprise i was like all right i'm tired i'll do a podcast with dj's brother this is amazing yeah exactly i'll lower myself no i i i was expecting it to be nice but i but this really um yeah you blew me away this is likewise so incredible i i know i'm immediately too like do i I had high expectations from the beginning, so i but you still blew me away, and I i just could not appreciate you more. Thank you.
01:06:36
Speaker
Oh, thank you. I now immediately am worried, though. like I sounded like a judgmental bitch. I was saying I can't believe anybody goes to a breeder. You know, like I'm going to replay anything bad. that But whatever. I promise you. can you do? I promise you, you you didn't.
01:06:50
Speaker
And whats what's hilarious, especially with my audience, most people are going to disagree with me and agree with me. Like, yeah, I'm... You're the calm one, trust me.
01:07:02
Speaker
Compared to your audience. Oh yeah, yeah. i mean I mean, not all of them, but people, you know, I've seen people think that breeders should die and i just just tear like ah just a little bit much. It's not helping. I get that their intention is good.
01:07:15
Speaker
It's not helping. It's not helping dogs get adopted. It's making people... not go to shelters and put their dogs on the streets. ah Abandonment. It makes people too afraid of judgment to even do the right thing by surrendering their dogs.
01:07:30
Speaker
So the people who think they're helping by being passionate about their opinions and they feel entitled to share their darkest thoughts, they're just hurting animal rescue. they're not And they're not the ones... And just so you know, they're also not the ones volunteering.
01:07:45
Speaker
They're not the ones going to shelters. They're not the ones starting rescue. they're They're usually people behind the keyboard that just constantly share dogs that are available for adoption all day long and and don't actually take action.
01:07:58
Speaker
That reminds me of, and sorry, I know you we were wrapping up and then I sucked you back in. you're We're just going to hear some, like don't forget that thought. There's going to be some background noise, which I don't give a shit about. I have a pregnant beagle here.
01:08:08
Speaker
So someone from my med team is coming in to grab her. So there'll be some background noise, but but please feel free to talk. I want to see the puppies when they come too. Oh, I definitely will. Yeah, I'll send you pictures. It'll be another couple of weeks.
01:08:19
Speaker
Oh, yeah. um Just that that I didn't realize this, but, you know, often when dogs are listed at the shelter for being euthanized, um they will get an influx of calls of people saying, like, how dare you?
Challenges in Animal Rescue Efforts
01:08:31
Speaker
You know, don't you're killing dogs.
01:08:33
Speaker
And it ties up the phone lines. And then people that do have emergencies of like, there's a dog on the side of the road. I have to drop like it does actually interfere with dog rescue. So there is that thing of yeah being passionately angry. It's nice that you care, but it can actually completely backfire. It's it's just this negativity towards shelters that does nothing but hurt animals.
01:08:55
Speaker
I mean, i always say unless you have a solution, shut the fuck up. Like, yeah what what do you do? what If you're so against this dog getting euthanized, come up with a solution.
01:09:07
Speaker
Come up with a fucking solution because this shelter has 50 dogs in their lobby while this one dog, right, who I agree should not be euthanized, but I also don't have a better solution for the dog. Like if the dog is bit five people, it doesn't get along with other dogs. It's killed the cat.
01:09:24
Speaker
where do you where where what do we get what What should we do? yeah Right? Like, please tell us. What is it? what what is you know and i i just feel like it's so unfair these shelter workers we talked about depression these shelter workers are so fucking depressed they all day long for pennies on the dollar they're picking up shit cleaning kennels taking care of these dogs, saying goodbye to them. They're getting euthanized. They're saying goodbye to dogs that they love every single day.
01:09:56
Speaker
And they're dealing with the craziest people on the planet. We're telling them how to do their job that have no idea what they're talking about whatsoever. It is so sad.
01:10:07
Speaker
Like people have this, but and and I say this with confidence, very stupid people have this, like, uh, opinion of shelter workers as if they as if every shelter worker wants to euthanize animals like they're there to kill animals and that is the last thing that they want to do like i and i people don't know this because they don't have a rescue and they you know but before a rescue euthanizes a dog if they feel the dog would be safe that even if a lot of times
01:10:40
Speaker
uh if the dog does have a bite history or whatever they they mass email everybody they email every rescue partner they they let everybody know on facebook like we need to get this dog out of here By the 23rd, they're doing what they can.
01:10:57
Speaker
like They should have nothing but love and support. Nothing. it's true Have they made mistakes and and do they need to be held accountable for mistakes? Yeah. When you find me in industry that hasn't made mistakes, that like we we could then go that route. But like there is there's accountability and then there's destruction.
01:11:16
Speaker
like for them if If we took away animal shelters, there'd be dead dogs all over the street, all over the country. They'd be getting hit by cars, just like people shoot animals because they're bored. you know They would just be shooting dogs. it's devastating It would be an absolute nightmare.
01:11:33
Speaker
Obviously, I know, as you said, we were kind of wrapping it up, but I'm very passionate about it. It mind boggles me that people who do nothing for animal rescue try to interfere with the insane amount of hard work and dedication that animal shelters do on a daily basis.
01:11:48
Speaker
And I will say that they need, they do need volunteers. Like the, a lot of the people that work there are more city employees and they're not, you know, heres they need volunteers. They need actual people working there.
01:12:01
Speaker
I mean, it's but with the budget cuts, I guess a lot of the shelter workers are going to be, And it's it's awful because most people can't afford to just give their time for free.
01:12:12
Speaker
right But it is. And I personally, like my job wrapped up and I was like, when this ends, I'm going to volunteer. But I was so scared of how much it was going to affect me and how sensitive I am. You know, I'm very sensitive.
Balancing Rescue Efforts and Personal Limits
01:12:24
Speaker
And I was like, I'm going to kill myself in this situation. And instead, I do feel like, thank God I was there for this thing and for that thing. And Yeah, and it does give you a perspective. Like when you are, i when I say you, I'm i'm talking about people in general again and me. Like, you know, when I am when I'm really depressed and I'm really dark, you know,
01:12:44
Speaker
i i a lot of people, and we'll we'll talk about this later on a separate podcast because it's its a whole other conversation, but like a lot of people ah depend on their animals to fix their moods.
01:12:59
Speaker
Where I don't want my animals to feel that. like My animals remind me. like I have this beautiful responsibility that that you know my community has given me, that I've chosen to save animals.
01:13:13
Speaker
want i want them to see if I'm having if I'm really depressed I don't want my animals to know I want to show up for them as a good leader I don't want them to feel like they have to fix me I want to fix them you know and yeah just just going back to the whole oh and as far as volunteering I will be honest i I do want people to volunteer and I don't think I talk about it enough because I don't want to be a hypocrite um you know I mean, you're not. you have
01:13:45
Speaker
You have a rescue. yeah I do have a rescue, but I can't go... like It's not just... i can't go to an animal shelter and not leave with a lot of dogs. like I really can't. have i i have to You know, when I was a kid, I made a promise at my very first animal shelter. I made a promise I was going to save them all when when i when I found out why they were there, which was because nobody wanted them.
01:14:09
Speaker
And that's how I felt about people in my life that nobody wanted me. And every time I'm at a shelter, i think about that day and i think about all the the dogs there that I and i promised I would help. And I literally just pretty much open up the back of my truck and load it to as many dogs as I can.
01:14:26
Speaker
And i if I, va like, obviously i have a rescue, as you said, in a sanctuary, but I give so much credit to these volunteers. There's this woman named Amber and in California, and she, you know, she goes to her the Long Beach shelter, and she'll send me these photos of these amazingly beautiful dogs.
01:14:47
Speaker
And I'm just so proud of her, you know, that she's able to put in that, but in that time to try to get these dogs adopted to try to give them love knowing that she's not taking one home that takes such a beautiful soul and spirit and heart that uh frankly i'm not there yet like i wouldn't be able to do it and i'd rather be like that i'd be i'd be i know as a professional animal rescuer all of these dogs have a home because of you yeah but i'd be able to save even more if i if i didn't fall in love with them i'd be able to save even more you know it would it would just be in and out in and out but i
01:15:24
Speaker
I love giving them this life and I love giving them this world and it is taken, you know, it's taken all of me and it's worth every second.
01:15:35
Speaker
I can't wait to share it with you. It's like it's like talking about your show without seeing it. It's like me, not not comparing the two, but like you. No, it makes sense. You seeing this is... is is it's almost like my story.
01:15:48
Speaker
Like I created this out of my incredible. Yeah. So I really, this was like the dream for me for a lot. I mean,
Closing and Staying Connected
01:15:55
Speaker
I used to have a joke that like, I really want to make a lot of money and have a big house just so i can fit more dogs. Yeah. And that's, you know and that's what I did.
01:16:03
Speaker
The unfortunate part is I did it before I made the money. So it was just like, but yeah, if you know, the, the outcome was not to, be able to afford it or or do it easily the outcome was to be able to make it happen and then figure it out and I did both like I made it happen and then I figured it out. All right but yeah I definitely have no doubt in my mind we will ah continue this and thank you deeply for your vulnerability and for your time with me. i Thank you so much for having me this was an absolute pleasure.
01:16:35
Speaker
Thank you. All right can you just remind everyone how to keep in touch with you. I know we said it in the middle while I was like yeah super excited, but can you just remind everyone how to keep touch? you're not excited anymore?
01:16:46
Speaker
You need to be careful with those jokes because you're like, no. It was a high. Now we're at a low. Now we're going down.
01:16:58
Speaker
Less exciting. Got it. No, I'm at Avitalash, A-V-I-T-A-L-A-S-H on TikTok, on Instagram, and then avitalash.com. Please sign up for the email list and you'll know as soon as this is coming out.
01:17:13
Speaker
I'll be scared, but excited, hopefully. Sorry, what was that? i'm so i was I just said thank you. I'm so excited for you. it's ah Like i said, it is just one of a kind. So I really hope that everyone takes advantage of it because It'll change the way you to view your thoughts and know that you're not alone on um and a way that has never been done before.
01:17:34
Speaker
Thank you so much. It's really Well, everyone, thank you so much for joining us. I love you guys. Oh, I'm pretty far away from the mic. Sorry. Thank you all so much for joining us. I love you all.
01:17:45
Speaker
And I'll talk to you along the way until next week. Welcome to the Asher's world and have a beautiful rest of your day. Bye.