Final Fantasy 2: Chocobo Drift

Transcript

Speaker: I'd love it.

Speaker: I would too.

Speaker: That'd be amazing.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You know what else is amazing?

Speaker: What's that?

Speaker: Hey there, everybody.

Speaker: Welcome back to Pixel It.

Speaker: My name is Kevin.

Speaker: With me as always is Phil.

Speaker: On today's show, we're diving back into Final Fantasy Memory of Heroes.

Speaker: We're going to cover Final Fantasy Part 2.

Speaker: That is what we are doing.

Speaker: Not Final Fantasy Part 2.

Speaker: Just Final Fantasy 2.

Speaker: It's not a part 2.

Speaker: It's a 2.

Speaker: It's aye-aye, as the Romans would say.

Speaker: And when you are in Rome, do as the Romans do.

Speaker: And head on over to patreon.com slash pixelatepod.

Speaker: where you can join us for free or you can join us at the $1 tier and get access to Phil's blog where he reviews books.

Speaker: We got more coming, by the way.

Speaker: He's got more coming.

Speaker: But they're coming.

Speaker: They're coming.

Speaker: Hey, you know what?

Speaker: We're parents.

Speaker: You know, we get that.

Speaker: We get that bonus stuff over to you when we can.

Speaker: Don't worry.

Speaker: It's always on track.

Speaker: $5 to you gets you access to the pre-show.

Speaker: Filter in bonus.

Speaker: And $10 gets you access to all of the above.

Speaker: Plus, you get your name read out in the episode.

Speaker: So what's better than that?

Speaker: So to that end, I want to thank Jesus Love You.

Speaker: Jesus Loves You, Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, and Friendly Friend, thank you for being a friend.

Speaker: It's sedating.

Speaker: And now on with the show.

Speaker: Phil, you said you were looking up stuff about Final Fantasy two.

Speaker: I mean, I played 30 seconds of it once on my cracked Nintendo DS, if I recall correctly.

Speaker: Yeah, it's been released.

Speaker: I think it's you can just buy it on Steam now.

Speaker: Yes, they've got the remaster, which I played the first one for.

Speaker: It's got the same problem that a lot of

Speaker: remakes and remasters that are Nintendo based have.

Speaker: And that's they're expecting like $50 for, you know, a new coat of paint on a 40 year old game.

Speaker: But I thought I'd at least give the first one a try and relive those old feelings and had a lot of fun with it.

Speaker: And now I'm actually I will say I'm kind of interested in playing Final Fantasy two.

Speaker: Now, this this one originally

Speaker: uh, didn't release in the States.

Speaker: It was a Japanese only exclusive.

Speaker: And when we got Final Fantasy two on the SNES, that was their Final Fantasy four.

Speaker: And anybody who has followed Final Fantasy for any length of time knows that it gets into all kinds of weird mind fuckery with like the Japanese got this, the Americans got that.

Speaker: Mystic Quest, the slap heard around the world, uh, shit like that.

Speaker: So

Speaker: I think the most interesting thing about this one is that rather than go with the experience points system, which the first one did and a lot of RPGs did this kind of ahead of its time, it went it went kind of like a use the skills and gain the abilities kind of thing like use it.

Speaker: You if you use an axe for long enough, you'll get better with the axe.

Speaker: It doesn't.

Speaker: Yeah, it doesn't quite work.

Speaker: It was a job system kind of.

Speaker: Yeah, kind of, kind of.

Speaker: And it just it got it went from Final Fantasy one, which is about as as basic of a, you know, JRPG.

Speaker: Yeah, straight up the classic D&D monster manual character like monsters.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: Nothing, nothing too, nothing too rough, nothing too, no, nothing too rough around the edges, you know, very smooth.

Speaker: And this one actually got very intricate in its system.

Speaker: And as we were discussing before the show started, also in its storyline to the point that whereas anyone who listened to the first episode of this one with first Final Fantasy knows that we were kind of laughing about it because he had to

Speaker: invent characters and character arcs for them and every, you know, such as they were because you didn't have it was a very general kind of storyline.

Speaker: You didn't learn much about the characters you were playing.

Speaker: Final Fantasy two threw that out the window and it has a very character centric storyline.

Speaker: It's you.

Speaker: You have characters who have

Speaker: traits and that sort of thing.

Speaker: There's a it's it's much more what you what we expect out of a Final Fantasy now.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So the fact that they jumped into it that fast is actually really impressive.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And it made me in the in the process of research because I've never played it.

Speaker: But in the process of researching it, I was like, oh, I think I think I do.

Speaker: I think it's it's 12 bucks on Steam.

Speaker: Yeah, that works.

Speaker: You can get the pixel remaster with just the grossest font.

Speaker: Just just a terrible font.

Speaker: It is.

Speaker: Yeah, it is.

Speaker: What is this Helvetica new thin, like condensed bullshit that it's got here?

Speaker: It's pretty bad.

Speaker: It's really bad.

Speaker: We just I will say I more turning, please.

Speaker: Yeah, it's not great.

Speaker: I think the best thing about those, though, is the music.

Speaker: They have like reorchestrated the music fucking rocks.

Speaker: Oh, OK.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And Final Fantasy two is the introduction of the Chocobo.

Speaker: Yes, yes.

Speaker: Like the iconic Chocobo, which is just the representative of Final Fantasy wherever your Final Fantasies are sold.

Speaker: Yeah, you got your you got your your your Chocobos and your SIDS, the the things that that last forever.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: The things that will never go anywhere.

Speaker: Anywhere.

Speaker: You got an airship.

Speaker: You got a CID.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: You sure do.

Speaker: And that's the thing.

Speaker: So knowing that it felt to me going in like this was going to go a little smoother than maybe the first one did.

Speaker: And I was right.

Speaker: but who cares at the end of the day?

Speaker: I mean, it's not great still.

Speaker: No, it's still not great.

Speaker: Spoiler warning for our thoughts in approximately 30 minutes, but still not great because it's a lot of telling and not showing.

Speaker: If you look at the plot of Final Fantasy II, after reading it, it's like, okay, well, you could have taken that and extended it out to like a three, 400 page straight up sword and sorcery novel.

Speaker: Oh yeah, that could have this.

Speaker: I mean, that's the problem with this kind of adaptation for a game like this.

Speaker: You're either you should either like give it the full sword and sorcery treatment or not at all.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And they chose they chose a 40 page plot summary, you know?

Speaker: Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker: It's it's bleak.

Speaker: It's pretty bleak.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So but yeah, so that's that's that's what we're getting into here.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Well, we're going to go ahead and put the body in the marsh.

Speaker: Let's do it.

Speaker: Body.

Speaker: Marsh.

Speaker: Big time.

Speaker: When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh, you dump them in the marsh.

Speaker: Chapter one, that begins with our main character, Furion.

Speaker: He is waking up to see that he is in a storehouse.

Speaker: Basically, his town has been burned to the ground by the Imperial Army from Palamecia.

Speaker: And this is the second time he's lost a set of parents.

Speaker: So when he was a kid, the town was burned down and his parents died.

Speaker: And he was taken in by another loving couple and who were the parents of his friends, Leon and Maria.

Speaker: And they had also taken in another kid named Guy.

Speaker: So those foster parents, step parents, they're also dead now.

Speaker: So they're all dead.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Furion, four parents.

Speaker: He's over for.

Speaker: It's just a bad time to know to know Furion.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I'm not saying that it's his fault.

Speaker: I'm just saying he's the least common denominator here.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they are running from the army and they get caught up into a fight with some soldiers.

Speaker: And then Leon...

Speaker: And Furion tried fighting them off.

Speaker: Furion is gravely wounded and he sees Leon in their clutches and he passes out.

Speaker: And then they are awake again and they are, they've been, Furion has been healed and they, by a man named Minwu,

Speaker: who is yeah i was gonna ask you how you pronounce that that was that was i'm going with minwoo uh that probably makes the most sense so yeah minwoo he he um

Speaker: with the whistle.

Speaker: Indeed.

Speaker: He saves, heals Furion there in a town called Altair.

Speaker: I'm going with Altair instead of Altair.

Speaker: It sounds cooler.

Speaker: Yeah, it sounds cooler.

Speaker: And I also think that's a, isn't that an Assassin's Creed protagonist?

Speaker: Oh, it totally is.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: No, you're absolutely right.

Speaker: I have no business knowing that because that is a series that I kind of loathe, but that's absolutely true.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You loathe, love it.

Speaker: You loathe.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I have hate fucked that game franchise more than once.

Speaker: Even the one that I like the most, the pirate one, which has some excellent moments still infuriated me to no end.

Speaker: So it's a very love hate relationship I've got.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: We should read another Assassin's Creed thing.

Speaker: Remember when we read an Assassin's Creed thing and it was one of the worst graphic novels we've ever read?

Speaker: Seriously.

Speaker: The art style was so bad that you couldn't tell what was happening.

Speaker: And they've got novels.

Speaker: I'm going to choose one of those for our lineup for next year.

Speaker: I think that would be something new, something to play with.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: We also have a bunch of requests in our Discord.

Speaker: Join our Discord if you want to request something.

Speaker: Oh, absolutely.

Speaker: So, yeah, he's they're saved and they want to join the rebel army, of course, because, you know, rebels are amazing.

Speaker: Who wouldn't want to be a rebel except in Halo, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's the that's the extent of it, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: The princess Hilda is like, no, you're an idiot.

Speaker: And then Minwoo is basically like, all right, chill out.

Speaker: All right, you can't join yet, but we're going to give you a little something something to test your skills.

Speaker: And then you can join because you're just kids.

Speaker: You're a couple of kids.

Speaker: You're like 12 years old.

Speaker: But you're the you're the chosen ones.

Speaker: Clearly.

Speaker: Obviously, obviously, we wouldn't be in prose format right now if you weren't.

Speaker: Yeah, I can tell some things that the color correction around us looks really good.

Speaker: I feel handsomer than I should.

Speaker: I get the impression you guys are the main characters.

Speaker: So let's just go with that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So.

Speaker: They go into a town and basically are there to gather information.

Speaker: And they're overhearing a man, a couple of guys talking about a man who was gravely wounded and taken to a tavern.

Speaker: And they go to the tavern.

Speaker: They're like, hey, what's up?

Speaker: And the bartender's like,

Speaker: I don't know what's up.

Speaker: And then Furion's like wild rose.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Oh yeah.

Speaker: You're in the know.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: The guy flies at midnight.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: The fox flies at midnight and the cow jumps over the moon.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's the one baby.

Speaker: Good night moon.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they go down and see a really wounded dude and his name is Scott.

Speaker: He is the crown prince.

Speaker: What?

Speaker: That name take you for a loop with all the other names.

Speaker: Prince Scott.

Speaker: This is no shade to anyone named Scott.

Speaker: It's just like we have Princess Hilda.

Speaker: Furion.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly.

Speaker: Furion.

Speaker: You know, then we've got Guy and Maria.

Speaker: Prince Scott.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Very disarming.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I don't think there's ever been a royal lineage with Scott mixed in there.

Speaker: Is Scott short for something?

Speaker: Is it just a name all by itself?

Speaker: Scott.

Speaker: Scottian.

Speaker: Scott short.

Speaker: Ah, there we go.

Speaker: Something.

Speaker: He's Googling.

Speaker: Processing it, processing, processing.

Speaker: No, I don't know why I'm so disappointed.

Speaker: I guess I wanted to give this guy the benefit of the doubt that if Scott was short or something, it would just do the full name.

Speaker: You know, if, if I were in game of Thrones, I wouldn't be Phil.

Speaker: I'd be Phillip.

Speaker: We all know that.

Speaker: Phillip.

Speaker: So you can just do that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: No, Scott is short for nothing.

Speaker: Nothing is traditionally.

Speaker: It used to be just a surname.

Speaker: And you know what it, you know what it meant as a surname.

Speaker: What's that from Scotland?

Speaker: I walked right into that one.

Speaker: That was a beach ball across home plate, and I still felt the need to swing.

Speaker: I don't know what the fuck happened to me.

Speaker: Once again, like everything, I'm going to blame my child.

Speaker: I blame him.

Speaker: Graham, who has no Scott in his name.

Speaker: King Graham, no Scots.

Speaker: King Graham.

Speaker: He's not a Scott.

Speaker: Anyway, Cashwan, which he is the crown prince of, crown prince Scott of Cashwan, is an allied nation to Finn.

Speaker: So that's why they were involved and they were betrayed by a man named Count Borgen.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: Anyway, he's like, tell Hilda I love her.

Speaker: Also, here's some stuff to take with you.

Speaker: It's a token.

Speaker: It's a ring.

Speaker: And yeah.

Speaker: So they deliver the message to Hilda and Hilda's pretty bummed.

Speaker: This is chapter two.

Speaker: Yada, yada, yada.

Speaker: They go to a town called.

Speaker: So they get into the army.

Speaker: They did their thing.

Speaker: They found Scott, which apparently was their mission.

Speaker: And then they get invited to a town or invited to join.

Speaker: They're off to a town named Pulum because they need to find Mithril.

Speaker: So basically...

Speaker: The Mithril Mines have been taken over by the Empire.

Speaker: They need to get them back.

Speaker: And to do that, they need to take a ferry to Poft.

Speaker: And then they go to a place called Salamand, which is where they'll find Yosef.

Speaker: And along the way, you know, you have Maria, who is the stand-in white mage.

Speaker: She's learning magic spells.

Speaker: She's learning cure spells and stuff like that.

Speaker: They meet Yosef.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: They meet Joseph.

Speaker: A lot of people are, they get to the town.

Speaker: There's just like women and children left.

Speaker: There's no men.

Speaker: And they meet Joseph.

Speaker: And Joseph is a big burly man who is like, I cannot help you.

Speaker: I will not help you.

Speaker: And then he shoves them out of his, throws them out of his house.

Speaker: But in doing so, he kind of like nonchalantly gives them the map so that he's covered.

Speaker: The map of the mines.

Speaker: Very sneaky.

Speaker: He's a very sneaky dude.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And so Minwoo is like, we got a map.

Speaker: Ah-ha.

Speaker: With the map's guidance, they find their way to the mine and through it and they take down dudes, et cetera, et cetera.

Speaker: And then they find a jail cell in the mines and they rescue a dude named Paul.

Speaker: Remember Paul, because that'll come back later.

Speaker: Put a pin in Paul.

Speaker: Paul is a thief.

Speaker: He's like, thank you for asking me.

Speaker: And he gets, you know, that classic rogue tagline of hot.

Speaker: Like that's just if I, if I play D and D with one more guy who has a rogue thief that says hot as his like character thing, I'm going to snap.

Speaker: I'm just going to snap.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: His name is Paul.

Speaker: Big snake.

Speaker: Paul, Paul, big snake, snakearoo, big snakearoo, big snakearino, big snakearino.

Speaker: That man is Paul.

Speaker: The girl that they found, though, is Yosef's daughter.

Speaker: I'm assuming the name is Yosef and not Joseph because it's spelled J-O-S-E-F.

Speaker: Yeah, that kind of encourages you to.

Speaker: It feels like a Yosef, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Do a Scandinavian J, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Hello, my name is Scandinavian J. That's actually, I mean, that is my rap name.

Speaker: You might ask why.

Speaker: Scandinavian J. Yeah, the girl's name is Nelly.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: They kill some more dudes and they reunited Nelly with Yosef because it was getting hot in there.

Speaker: I mean, you're listening at home, people.

Speaker: You get it.

Speaker: You freaks.

Speaker: So hot.

Speaker: So hot here.

Speaker: That was Nellie, right?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I mean, I made the reference for like a minute.

Speaker: So yeah, it was Nellie.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: I couldn't hear the audience at home laughing.

Speaker: Anyway, they reunite.

Speaker: Yeah, that makes it tougher.

Speaker: They got the mithril.

Speaker: They got the gramps.

Speaker: They got the mithril mines and they're ready to go.

Speaker: And they're given some mithril equipment.

Speaker: And if you have mithril equipment this early in the game, you're doing pretty good.

Speaker: You're off to a great start.

Speaker: Yeah, you're off to a great start.

Speaker: So the Empire is working on this big airship called the Dreadnought, which will it's basically like the Death Star of Final Fantasies.

Speaker: Yeah, I mean, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they they they need to

Speaker: Figure out what to do with the dreadnought.

Speaker: The idea is we're just going to attack it.

Speaker: We're going to see what happens.

Speaker: We're going to attack it directly and not attack it directly, but go and deal with it directly.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they get to the dreadnought and they find a knight in black iron armor, the black knight.

Speaker: And oh,

Speaker: He seems familiar.

Speaker: And their friend Leon has been missing since the beginning of the game.

Speaker: What?

Speaker: It's a coincidence.

Speaker: Anyway.

Speaker: Put a pin in the Black Knight.

Speaker: put in the pin in the black night.

Speaker: They managed not to stop the dreadnought.

Speaker: The dreadnought launches and just starts obliterating towns and cities across the map.

Speaker: It's a bad thing.

Speaker: It's a bad time.

Speaker: We're in chapter four and they're like, God, what do we do?

Speaker: And Sid's like, well, we can pour some sunfire into the engine.

Speaker: And they're like, why didn't you say that earlier?

Speaker: And Sid's like, well, you didn't ask me.

Speaker: Now, did you?

Speaker: Baby doll.

Speaker: You know, that's true.

Speaker: They didn't.

Speaker: And he did this.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And then his sunglasses went like this.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And he said, deal with it.

Speaker: And you heard the who screaming in the background.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It was pretty epic.

Speaker: Gotta say.

Speaker: It was pretty epic lulls.

Speaker: Pretty epic.

Speaker: So they hit up Yosef for some information and they're going to they get a quest directly from Prince Princess Hilda to go get the Sunfire.

Speaker: And they're going to do it.

Speaker: Damn it.

Speaker: They travel with Yosef through some snowy land and get to where the sunfire, the cave where the sunfire is going to be.

Speaker: And they venture through, you know, kill some monsters.

Speaker: Like the monster killing is pretty like hand wavy in this story.

Speaker: It's.

Speaker: It's very they they're like, and they killed some guys.

Speaker: But really, what you want to know about is the personal drama.

Speaker: And you're like, I mean, probably.

Speaker: Yeah, you're probably right.

Speaker: Probably right.

Speaker: They get to the Sunfire.

Speaker: They're like, all right, we're going to get the Sunfire and then we're getting onto the dreadnought.

Speaker: And they're going.

Speaker: And I forgot to mention that there is a man with them named Gordon.

Speaker: And I can't remember who the fuck Gordon is.

Speaker: Gordon.

Speaker: Why is Gordon?

Speaker: Oh, Gordon.

Speaker: Duh.

Speaker: Gordon is Scott's brother.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So Gordon is the new crown prince of, of cashew land.

Speaker: And, and Gordon's like, Hey, my grief, I need to, I need to kill some people, some people.

Speaker: So Gordon joins them as the fourth party member.

Speaker: It's Gordon.

Speaker: And they got, got Yosef and they're in there and they find the sunfire.

Speaker: And as they're leaving count, uh, burger, uh,

Speaker: Borgen.

Speaker: Count Chocula.

Speaker: Count Borgen.

Speaker: He's there and he has a knife to Gordon's neck.

Speaker: I'm going to disregard.

Speaker: why he's there.

Speaker: Why would he be there?

Speaker: It doesn't.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It doesn't matter.

Speaker: Don't, don't think about it too hard.

Speaker: I'm not going to think about it too hard.

Speaker: It just doesn't make sense for you from, for somebody who is, they call him, he's first, first referred to as a count.

Speaker: Now he's a general.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Either, either rank doesn't matter weird, no matter what.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: No matter what.

Speaker: Regardless and irregardless.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: He's got Gordon wrapped up.

Speaker: He's got a neck to Gordon's throne.

Speaker: He's like, I'll kill him.

Speaker: And Gordon's just like, fucking do it.

Speaker: And Borgens like, I really didn't expect you to react that way.

Speaker: I didn't expect you to react that way.

Speaker: Jesus Christ.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Gordon is managed manages to get out.

Speaker: He throws a lantern and he like flicks one of the lantern he's holding up in the air.

Speaker: And Borgens like, ah, and Gordon slides at it and they're running.

Speaker: And Borgens like, well, fine, then I'm going to stop you this way.

Speaker: And he takes out like a bomb and he detonates it.

Speaker: Not a great, not a great melee weapon, if we're being honest with ourselves here.

Speaker: Yeah, this guy who was presented as very vain.

Speaker: I don't see him doing that from what little we know.

Speaker: No, yeah, that character motivation doesn't quite sit well with me.

Speaker: Yeah, okay.

Speaker: He's annoyed that the Dark Knight has been giving him orders, but that's about it.

Speaker: He's not the Black Knight.

Speaker: He's the Dark Knight.

Speaker: I should say.

Speaker: They keep and they keep calling him the Dark Knight.

Speaker: And I keep seeing Batman.

Speaker: It never stops.

Speaker: Batman.

Speaker: And he's the.

Speaker: The what the Dark Knight returns.

Speaker: What's his name?

Speaker: Fucking Miller.

Speaker: Oh, oh, crap.

Speaker: Frank Miller.

Speaker: Frank Miller kills people and doesn't care version of Batman.

Speaker: Yeah, pretty much.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Really doesn't care.

Speaker: This like knocks all the rocks unstable in the cave.

Speaker: And Yosef, being the big burly man he is, holds the cave open himself.

Speaker: Spider-Man illusions here, where Spider-Man holds up a building so people can get out.

Speaker: Yosef does the same thing.

Speaker: with his final fantasy plot strength and holds up the entrance to the cave for the, for them to all get out.

Speaker: And then the cave collapses on him.

Speaker: And that is a picture wrap on Yosef.

Speaker: There goes a goddamn hero.

Speaker: Nelly is very sad.

Speaker: It's getting lukewarm in here.

Speaker: It is lukewarm in here.

Speaker: So keep on most of your clothes.

Speaker: Keep my tea has gotten.

Speaker: Almost undrinkable.

Speaker: Yeah, just disgusting.

Speaker: It really is.

Speaker: Just disgusting.

Speaker: Disgusting dirt water.

Speaker: So Furion blames himself because he had a chance to kill Borgen and Bafsk.

Speaker: He really didn't.

Speaker: But, you know, we're we're not.

Speaker: We're not going to.

Speaker: Let's not.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: You want to you want to brood over that?

Speaker: Fine.

Speaker: It's you're right.

Speaker: So Sid is they're like, all right, well, we got to get on the dreadnought and be like, oh, the dreadnought's like here and it's chasing the airship.

Speaker: Is that relevant?

Speaker: Does that help for you to know that?

Speaker: I guess.

Speaker: Well, the Dreadnought is over the capital right now, and it's chasing Sid's airship.

Speaker: And for some reason, Princess Hilda is on the airship.

Speaker: They could see from the ground somehow.

Speaker: So they're like, all right, well, let's get on some chocobos and chase after them.

Speaker: So they...

Speaker: They chase after some chocobos, or they get the chocobos, and they chase after Sid and the Dreadnought, and they get to where the Dreadnought has Sid's airship pinned down.

Speaker: And they've already been taken prisoner, Sid and Princess Hilda.

Speaker: So they get onto the airship, and...

Speaker: They go through and they fight their way through the dreadnought and then they save, they find Sid and Hilda on the, in the jail area.

Speaker: And then they run in with the Dark Knight again and they're fighting with them.

Speaker: But the Dark Knight is like falls after a, oh, look at it.

Speaker: Oh, oh.

Speaker: Hey, run.

Speaker: Hello.

Speaker: I love your shirt.

Speaker: It's beautiful.

Speaker: Thank you.

Speaker: That's my familial policy.

Speaker: Beautiful.

Speaker: Bye-bye.

Speaker: Who the hell was that?

Speaker: So they find they make the connection that the Dark Knight is Bruce Wayne.

Speaker: No, it's yeah, it's Leon.

Speaker: It's Leon.

Speaker: And he is like not answering that Maria, who is his sister, is like, why have you joined the dark, the evil bad guys?

Speaker: And he doesn't answer.

Speaker: And they run away.

Speaker: They get to Sid's airship and they fly off.

Speaker: And they, by the way, put the sunfire into the dreadnought and it crashes.

Speaker: It's just episode one.

Speaker: Sorry, episode four.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's all this is at this point.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Because, yeah, that thing was death starring all over their ass.

Speaker: It was death starring all over.

Speaker: It was death starring Little Towns, death starring...

Speaker: Farms.

Speaker: It was death story.

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Single chickens.

Speaker: Sometimes it would just be like a single chickens.

Speaker: Individual chickens.

Speaker: Picking them off one by one based on criteria that they did not tell anyone about.

Speaker: I just imagine Governor Tarkin sitting there and be like, oh,

Speaker: at what is like, uh, uh, captain lower the power to one millionth and chicken.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Now do that one.

Speaker: Now do that one, that one.

Speaker: And it's like, and it's like the whole thing.

Speaker: And it like the, the, the beams and it's just like, yeah, it's an all over on everything.

Speaker: There's just like a single like farm and chicken.

Speaker: And he's like,

Speaker: disappearing, just ceasing to be.

Speaker: That's what I wouldn't have given to just, you know, be Tarkin for a day.

Speaker: Oh my gosh.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That would be fun.

Speaker: The only, the only.

Speaker: Now I'm getting wistful.

Speaker: So they kill the dreadnought.

Speaker: They talk about why did Leon join the bad guys?

Speaker: And they go and they talk to the king and the king is like, hey, you guys are great, but I'm dying.

Speaker: I've been dying this entire time.

Speaker: And I'm really fucking dying now.

Speaker: Minwoo, get over here.

Speaker: I need you to go get Ultima for me.

Speaker: And she's like, I'm sorry.

Speaker: And Minwoo's like, I understand.

Speaker: We'll find out why he's sorry later.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And then the king dies.

Speaker: And Furion goes to look for Hilda.

Speaker: And Hilda is in her room.

Speaker: And she's taking it really hard.

Speaker: Uh-oh, she's a snake lady.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: It's such a...

Speaker: It's literally like the sheets fall down and it's so casually written.

Speaker: It's like, and he notices that the bottom half of her is a snake.

Speaker: You're like, okay, Jesus.

Speaker: Was she a snake?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Is that something that they just didn't tell us about Hilda in the first?

Speaker: Oh, no, she's an imposter.

Speaker: Okay, good.

Speaker: Okay, got it.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: I feel that's crazy.

Speaker: Can she do this from the beginning or?

Speaker: Oh, no, it's not her.

Speaker: Okay, okay.

Speaker: It's just they got like a Naga lady that looked like her, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: They took care of it.

Speaker: Anyway, the Emperor of Palamecia, which is the bad guys, by the way, they have declared a tournament and Princess Hilda is the prize.

Speaker: So whoever wins the tournament, it's just real mustache twirling.

Speaker: It's just, yeah, that's like, and if, and if you don't fall for that, we'll tie her to a railroad track.

Speaker: It's so stupid.

Speaker: It's like, just, just have her prisoner, man.

Speaker: Like I'll tie her to a railroad track with a bomb.

Speaker: I'm like, well, why, why do you need the bomb?

Speaker: Do you need the bomb and the train?

Speaker: Like, don't ask questions.

Speaker: Don't ask questions.

Speaker: Just be afraid, feared, fearful.

Speaker: Afeard, I love it.

Speaker: Everybody agrees that it's a trap, but it's, and I feel like this happens so often where it's like it's a trap, but it's a trap we have to walk into anyway.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Not just in this.

Speaker: I'm just talking about it's like just a trope.

Speaker: In general.

Speaker: It's very well-worn territory.

Speaker: We know it's a trap, but we got to go through it anyway.

Speaker: And be like, no, no, you don't.

Speaker: You don't.

Speaker: I don't know if you could.

Speaker: You know that it's a trap.

Speaker: You could do a thing.

Speaker: You could come up with your own trap in response to that.

Speaker: And sometimes they do, to be fair, in the movies.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they get there and they are fighting in this tournament, except it is there is.

Speaker: Yeah, they are fighting against a behemoth.

Speaker: And there's only two people in the room aside from the behemoth.

Speaker: And that's the emperor himself and a jester, which is real foreshadowing to Final Fantasy six.

Speaker: Oh,

Speaker: What is that for?

Speaker: I never played Final Fantasy VI.

Speaker: Oh, okay.

Speaker: So in Final Fantasy VI, the big twist is the jester, Kafka, kills the emperor and proclaims himself king and is like...

Speaker: He's like a, he's a real lunatic.

Speaker: Like he orchestrates like entire towns being poisoned to death and things like that.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: That's great.

Speaker: That's good.

Speaker: Final fantasy six.

Speaker: Great game.

Speaker: If you haven't played it already, some say possibly the best written final fantasy game.

Speaker: You get to suplex a train.

Speaker: Oh, that's the one.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: I have heard of this.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Yes, yes, yes.

Speaker: I have heard of that.

Speaker: They fight the behemoth.

Speaker: They kill the behemoth.

Speaker: And it's another hand wavy moment.

Speaker: It's done.

Speaker: Don't worry about it.

Speaker: It's done.

Speaker: And then the they're like the emperor's like, well, you're still trapped in here.

Speaker: And they're like, we're not trapped with you.

Speaker: You're trapped with us.

Speaker: And they tried to kill the emperor and it's just an illusion.

Speaker: And then the gesture is like, ha ha ha and pulls a trap door and they fall through.

Speaker: And then they are saved by Paul.

Speaker: Paul.

Speaker: Remember Paul?

Speaker: I do remember Paul.

Speaker: It was the thief they saved earlier.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: We put a pin in Paul.

Speaker: We put a pin in Paul and Paul's back on pin Paul because he has popped.

Speaker: prisoners are prisoner, protagonists, prisoned protagonists from prison.

Speaker: Have they been popped out of peril?

Speaker: Pale pale.

Speaker: That's a good one.

Speaker: Let's write that.

Speaker: Let's write that down.

Speaker: I love that one.

Speaker: So it's like that.

Speaker: There's a family guy reference.

Speaker: And I don't, I'm not making a habit of referencing family guy.

Speaker: But I have seen this one bit where Peter is in danger and Spider-Man saves him.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And he's like, thanks, Spider-Man.

Speaker: And Spider-Man is like, everybody gets one.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Such a random detail.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: Everybody gets one.

Speaker: And this, this is what made me think of that.

Speaker: It's good.

Speaker: Paul just pops his head in and he goes, everybody gets one.

Speaker: Everybody gets one.

Speaker: Thanks, Paul.

Speaker: But they save Hilda.

Speaker: Hilda is down there as well.

Speaker: And they get on the airship and they leave.

Speaker: They're gone.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Everybody's happy by Hilda being there.

Speaker: And Hilda's like, all right, well, you know, I guess I'm just learning that my dad is dead right now.

Speaker: Good.

Speaker: That's great.

Speaker: I need you to go follow Minwoo because he has not gotten back with the Ultima.

Speaker: So go check on him because the Ultima is the only way we're going to win.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they get on a boat.

Speaker: They're going out.

Speaker: They're going out to the place where they, the Ultima, where Ultima is being kept when a giant whale, Leviathan, goes, goes.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And it's the biblical illusions.

Speaker: Job.

Speaker: Job is down there and he's like, ah, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Poor Job.

Speaker: I mean, really curse God and die.

Speaker: Job.

Speaker: That's what that's the advice his wife gave him.

Speaker: Curse God and die.

Speaker: Jesus Christ.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You ever see that movie that's kind of based on the concept of the book of Job?

Speaker: Serious, serious man.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I watched that with Keeler.

Speaker: He got he got like an advanced copy from one of the from one of our professors, you know, because our film professors were all like on the Oscar.

Speaker: Yeah, they didn't.

Speaker: They were pretty loose with their advanced copies.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: And they would just give them to us.

Speaker: And it was a good thing because they want us to stay on top of this shit.

Speaker: So that was nice.

Speaker: But we watched it.

Speaker: I don't remember what the specifics were, but I remember neither of us were having a really good time.

Speaker: Yeah, it is.

Speaker: We're both going through something.

Speaker: Yeah, it is a Coen Brothers movie that is just an absolute fucking bummer.

Speaker: And it ends with everything.

Speaker: It's like, you're going to die and all your friends are going to die.

Speaker: And life is hideous.

Speaker: That's the most downer ending.

Speaker: It's the worst.

Speaker: And I remember we finished and we're just staring at the TV for a minute, just kind of like that.

Speaker: And I remember Keillor standing up silently and walking to our kitchen because we lived together at the time.

Speaker: And as he's entering the kitchen, he just goes,

Speaker: Well, that's just great.

Speaker: I was like, yeah, that kind of summarizes it all right there.

Speaker: It doesn't.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Christ.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So a serious man.

Speaker: It's a, it's a, it's an interesting, it was a weird movie.

Speaker: It has Richard kind in it and Richard kind isn't even being funny in it.

Speaker: No, I know.

Speaker: Isn't that nuts?

Speaker: It makes no sense.

Speaker: It's like watching a bird that doesn't fly.

Speaker: Richard kind is funny and everything.

Speaker: He's awesome.

Speaker: He's the best.

Speaker: I just saw a video of him at a supermarket, like, like literally like just like standing.

Speaker: Oh, he was next to the cheese aisle and he's like trying to get recognized while he's eating cheese and he's hideously lactose intolerant.

Speaker: So it's just a fucking mess all the way around.

Speaker: I love that guy.

Speaker: That guy rules.

Speaker: He's great.

Speaker: If you haven't seen John Mulaney's Everybody's in LA, go ahead and check that out.

Speaker: Richard Kind was his co-host slash announcer for the show.

Speaker: And he's, you know, he does really good work.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: He's terrific.

Speaker: Terrific.

Speaker: Um, also it's a, it's a fun little, it's a fun, it's a fun show.

Speaker: You know, I've heard, I've heard good things about it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's worth checking out.

Speaker: You know, I also heard he and, uh, Olivia Munner expecting another kid.

Speaker: Really?

Speaker: Good for that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: He's, he's just turning that into like, you know what?

Speaker: That's good.

Speaker: Let's just keep, let's keep going down that rabbit hole here.

Speaker: Good.

Speaker: Good for them.

Speaker: You know, he, he got clean, he got sober, all that, all that stuff.

Speaker: Um,

Speaker: I do love stories about his intervention.

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: He has a stand-up where he goes into the intervention.

Speaker: It's rough, man.

Speaker: It was hard to watch that because it's like he kind of accepted that he is not that people are not going to look at him the same way.

Speaker: And like his his his deep, dark secret that wasn't really that much of a secret is that he's kind of an asshole.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: He's kind of an arrogant prick.

Speaker: And and that special is just him going, oh,

Speaker: You all know that now, right?

Speaker: I'm just going to lean into it for the special.

Speaker: And it was hard to watch.

Speaker: You're like, oh, no.

Speaker: He was he was the sweet little Irish guy that I liked so much.

Speaker: Oh, boy.

Speaker: Like, yeah.

Speaker: Well, I do like the fact that he was like, you remember my old specials where I'd come out on stage and I'd be like, you know how I was able to do that?

Speaker: Cocaine.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Lots of cocaine.

Speaker: God, man.

Speaker: Oh, God.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So it's good.

Speaker: I don't even know how.

Speaker: Oh, Richard Kind.

Speaker: Richard Kind.

Speaker: I would love to listen to this narrated by Richard Kind.

Speaker: Just commentary by Richard Kind.

Speaker: Do I have a Richard Kind impression?

Speaker: No, I don't.

Speaker: It would be a good one to have.

Speaker: He has a very distinctive voice.

Speaker: I think, yeah, I think we could both do one if we, that's a homework assignment.

Speaker: Homework assignment.

Speaker: For the next episode.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Just like, let's try to get your Richard kind voice.

Speaker: Put together a Richard kind.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: You guys are listening.

Speaker: You have to hold us to it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they get to they're in the belly of the beast and they meet a guy.

Speaker: He is a dragoon.

Speaker: He is the last of them.

Speaker: He's from Deist.

Speaker: And he is not a founding father.

Speaker: No.

Speaker: That is a religious history reference.

Speaker: religious american history reference like that's just yeah um you know thomas jefferson would like just he had a like a version of the bible that yeah the jefferson bible where it was like he took out everything magic basically yeah he just and he just was like look when you take all the bullshit out it's actually a pretty good way to live it was like a lot of it was very thick

Speaker: It was a lot thinner.

Speaker: Oh yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And when you wrote, when you, they, I went to Monticello once and they, they sell it in the gift shop, of course.

Speaker: And it is, it's a slim little tome.

Speaker: I think it's just the new Testament though.

Speaker: I don't think it's the whole Bible.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Tommy J. Oh boy.

Speaker: So the dragoons off screen.

Speaker: off camera, had been annihilated.

Speaker: They had been poisoned by the Emperor.

Speaker: They were all dead because the Emperor feared them.

Speaker: They were like the most powerful military unit in the world.

Speaker: And he managed to take them out early with poison.

Speaker: The only one left is this guy named Rick

Speaker: Ricard.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And he is the last Dragoon.

Speaker: And he's like, he was there to try to get Ultima as well.

Speaker: Basically, Leviathan swallows everybody who is trying to get Ultima.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And only less.

Speaker: Let's, ah, there's a Ripley.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But only lets the ones who are that deserve it go through.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Minwoo is not down there.

Speaker: So like, oh, I guess Minwoo was already he's already gotten through.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: He made it through.

Speaker: He's fine.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So what they do is they decide to get all the gunpowder that they have between the heroes of light and the captain of the boat and his crew and Rickard and they pile it up into a big old pile and they blow it up.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It doesn't do anything at first, but then the Leviathan is like, you know what, fuck this and decides to just vomit them all out.

Speaker: Yeah, this is not worth it.

Speaker: They're not where the vomit's them all out and they're all spewed out towards the island that they were heading towards anyway.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Hell of a way to travel.

Speaker: The Mycetian Tower.

Speaker: They get there and the captain's like, all right, well, I'm going to fix the boat since we're here.

Speaker: They get there and Minwoo has just been kind of waiting.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Kind of a kind of a dick move, really.

Speaker: It's just like you couldn't you couldn't have felt.

Speaker: OK, fine.

Speaker: Fine.

Speaker: Minwoo was waiting and he's like, well, I realized I can't go in and get it.

Speaker: And they're like, why not?

Speaker: And he's like, because it takes all of my energy to open the spell barrier.

Speaker: And they're like, what does that mean?

Speaker: He's like, it's going to fucking kill me.

Speaker: Like, oh, yeah.

Speaker: So Minwoo.

Speaker: I guess it's okay that you showed up early.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Casts a spell, gets the spell barrier open, and then keels over and is dead.

Speaker: And they're like, well.

Speaker: God bless you, Minwoo.

Speaker: God bless you.

Speaker: The most powerful character in the story.

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Aside from the Emperor, just fucking dies.

Speaker: So, yeah, they get in there and they talk to some glowing lights with that enter into their head.

Speaker: And they're like, we're going to bring we're going to do it.

Speaker: And the voices are like, bring lights at Hall.

Speaker: And Furion and Guy and Maria are like, yeah, yeah.

Speaker: Doing it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And they're given a tome.

Speaker: The tome is a spell book.

Speaker: And in that spell book is Ultima.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: They're like, let's do it.

Speaker: Let's end the emperor once and for all.

Speaker: Let's finish the game.

Speaker: Rickard decides not to return with them.

Speaker: He needs to go check on.

Speaker: He needs to go to Deist and check on the, see what happened.

Speaker: So the rest of the dragoons, they get back.

Speaker: Maria has been studying the Ultima spell on the way back.

Speaker: They learn of the Emperor's new weapon.

Speaker: So they have a Death Star 2 now, which is a magic cyclone that they're just using to wipe out cities.

Speaker: So like... They've got... It's the government... It's the conspiracy theory of the government machine that controls the weather.

Speaker: It's a weather-controlled cyclone.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: And so far, Altair, Gaitria...

Speaker: Poft and Pulum, the towns that have been visited throughout the game so far have just been leveled.

Speaker: Gone.

Speaker: Well, well, then shit.

Speaker: So, you know, they're like, all right, well, we we got a Rick on not Rick on.

Speaker: That's a Game of Thrones character.

Speaker: Ricard.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Rickon ran straight instead of instead of zigzagging.

Speaker: And so he died.

Speaker: Of course.

Speaker: Poor Rickon.

Speaker: You were the dumbest of the Starks.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: Just fucking moron.

Speaker: You walked right into that.

Speaker: Fucking never mind.

Speaker: Never mind.

Speaker: Fuck it.

Speaker: Let's talk about it.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Was it against the rules?

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: For him not to zigzag, for him not to serpentine a little bit.

Speaker: Anything, anything, anything.

Speaker: Like just some level of self-preservation.

Speaker: Between what's his name letting go of the arrow.

Speaker: All he had to do is just pick a direction and change direction.

Speaker: It's not like it's a homing arrow.

Speaker: No, it's just wind your way down.

Speaker: I, I, it's not complicated, man.

Speaker: This is, this is a, this is like grievances from eight years ago.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: This is, this has been festering in our stomachs for a long time.

Speaker: Oh God.

Speaker: Anyway.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So they're going to, they're going to go kill the emperor.

Speaker: They fly the Wyvern to the Emperor's pallet through into the Eye of the Storm and where like the Emperor is and they meet the Jester and it's the Emperor again.

Speaker: And it's the same thing where it's the Emperor is an illusion and they're like, ah, shit.

Speaker: And then they kill the Jester because fuck that guy.

Speaker: And then the Emperor shows up.

Speaker: Oh, well, that worked out.

Speaker: That's a freebie.

Speaker: They fight the emperor and ultimately Maria uses the spell Ultima to stop the emperor's magic and they

Speaker: Rickon Rickon Ricard.

Speaker: God damn it.

Speaker: It's never going away.

Speaker: So Furion and guy basically do a cross slash and they like cut him open from like shoulder to hip on both sides.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Just do an X move on him.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Oh yeah.

Speaker: Pure Japanese samurai movie.

Speaker: Shit.

Speaker: It's awesome.

Speaker: He dies, falls into a puddle of his own blood and the emperor is dead.

Speaker: They go back home and then what do you know?

Speaker: Some dude named Leon has declared himself emperor of the Palamecian Empire.

Speaker: And they're like, ah, shit.

Speaker: Great.

Speaker: Just great.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: So they're like,

Speaker: All right, we're going back.

Speaker: They get back there and they fight.

Speaker: They find in Castle Palamecia, the Dark Knight is sitting there.

Speaker: They're like, Leon, what the fuck are you doing?

Speaker: And Leon's like, I saw the limits of being nice and I decided to not be nice anymore.

Speaker: And he's actually an incel of like, just like, I'm not nice guys finished last.

Speaker: He loses.

Speaker: He loses once in a fight and becomes world's biggest incel.

Speaker: And it varies that very divorced energy.

Speaker: There's a reason why he's Leon.

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: That's an anagram.

Speaker: It's it's also what Trump called him.

Speaker: That's pretty funny, actually.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I didn't know that.

Speaker: That's great.

Speaker: Trump called Elon Musk Leon once.

Speaker: That is fucking awesome, actually.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: So, I mean, that's a true alien versus predator, whoever wins, we lose kind of situation.

Speaker: But you know what?

Speaker: I'm going to say it.

Speaker: Point to Trump.

Speaker: Let them fight.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So Furion's like, that's bullshit.

Speaker: And Leon's like, but true power.

Speaker: And Furion's like, what?

Speaker: God damn it.

Speaker: That's and Maria, his sister's like, Leon, you, you dummy.

Speaker: What are you, what are you doing here?

Speaker: Uh,

Speaker: But then, uh-oh, the emperor shows up again.

Speaker: And this time, he is like a demon emperor.

Speaker: So he went down to hell after he died, and he took over.

Speaker: Yeah, but you can't keep a good demonic emperor down.

Speaker: That's just how this works.

Speaker: He is a demon of the underworld.

Speaker: He's three times his original size.

Speaker: And basically, he causes the castle to start crumbling.

Speaker: And everybody, including Leon, gets back onto the airship.

Speaker: And they're on the airship.

Speaker: And they're looking down as the castle crumbles and reforms as Castle Pandemonium, which is the castle of the underworld.

Speaker: And so Paramecium becomes Pandemonium.

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker: Paramecium.

Speaker: I like paramecium better.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Too many.

Speaker: Single cell organism.

Speaker: The single celled organism grew into two cells.

Speaker: So Leon is like, all right, well, I guess I'm with you guys kind of.

Speaker: for now.

Speaker: Um, and then they, uh, oh, we also lost Rickard in the, in the, in the exchange.

Speaker: Uh, Rickard like basically, uh, holds off the emperor while the castle is crumbling so that the others can escape.

Speaker: But it's just one, one brave sacrifice after another.

Speaker: One brave sacrifice after another.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Uh,

Speaker: So they get back down to Castle Pandemonium and they just they run roughshod over the monsters in there.

Speaker: They they kill.

Speaker: They're killing.

Speaker: They're getting towards the end and they find the emperor and they're like, we're going to kill you.

Speaker: And the embers like, I am the emperor.

Speaker: You will not kill me.

Speaker: Guess what?

Speaker: They fucking killed him.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So.

Speaker: They kill him.

Speaker: They cleave him in two.

Speaker: He's dead.

Speaker: And all the underworld starts falling apart.

Speaker: And then they leave.

Speaker: Which is funny to me because I feel like you need an underworld.

Speaker: I feel like that's necessary.

Speaker: I feel like it's like a necessary thing.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I feel like you need that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: They go back home.

Speaker: There's a party.

Speaker: Leon starts to leave.

Speaker: And his sister catches up with him.

Speaker: And he's like, I don't deserve this.

Speaker: And she's like, no, stay.

Speaker: You, you too deserve forgiveness.

Speaker: He's like, no.

Speaker: And she's like, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And he's like, okay.

Speaker: And, um,

Speaker: Then he leaves.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And then he puts on an iPod with postal service on it and just moves on.

Speaker: Well, it's actually the closing theme song from The Incredible Hulk.

Speaker: Perfect.

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: Hitchhiking down the road.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Like they're like, literally, it's like, he's literally 15 feet away.

Speaker: And her sister's like, I'm right.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Fine.

Speaker: He's just hitchhiking for a chocobo, you know, I guess.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: A chocobo like pulls up to him.

Speaker: It's like gas grass or ass motherfuckers.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Sucking a chocobo's dick so he can get to Tulsa.

Speaker: I bet they got weird dicks.

Speaker: I bet they got really weird dicks.

Speaker: I bet they're, I bet they're like feathery, like feathery and like, they like corkscrew or something.

Speaker: And yeah, something, something very unpleasant to, I don't know.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Birds, man.

Speaker: Birds are fucked up.

Speaker: So what do you think?

Speaker: This is, this is better than the last one.

Speaker: Uh, and you mostly because he at least has a, has an outline to follow.

Speaker: He's got the gate, but at the same time, it's as we said in the beginning, I feel like this is such a big story.

Speaker: And that's what makes it so impressive on an 8-bit game.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: It's such a big story that doing, this is what, 50 pages?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Doing like a 50-page...

Speaker: novelette, not even a novella of the it's doing it a disservice.

Speaker: It's not really giving you the best that it's got.

Speaker: So, yeah.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's kind of it's kind of brusque in the way it handles pretty much everything.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's like, and then they did it and then they're here and this guy sacrifices himself heroically.

Speaker: I wish there's another one.

Speaker: And I wish we had a little bit more punch.

Speaker: And I think that's the thing is like with some of these characters that end up dying, I think probably in the game, you spend more time with them.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: So there's more, it feels more.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Whereas this, it's just like, oh, well, we just met him two pages ago.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: I don't really care.

Speaker: So I'm not sure I care that much.

Speaker: So.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: It's, it's, it doesn't feel as you're not, you're not feeling weepy because no, you know, Leon's leaving.

Speaker: I don't give a shit.

Speaker: That's fine.

Speaker: In fact, whatever, whatever, Leon, um,

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So it's fine.

Speaker: We'll see how Final Fantasy three goes.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: How that sorts out.

Speaker: How that sorts out, which I also played for 30 seconds on my cracked DS filled with loaded with ROMs.

Speaker: Nice.

Speaker: That I legally had the right to play because I own copies of the game.

Speaker: Yeah, sure.

Speaker: Fine.

Speaker: Fuck it.

Speaker: Fine.

Speaker: Whatever.

Speaker: What are you playing?

Speaker: Oh, I am playing.

Speaker: I think I'm done with visions of mana.

Speaker: I don't mean that I've come.

Speaker: I've beaten it.

Speaker: I think I'm done.

Speaker: You hit a point where you're like, nope.

Speaker: I mentioned, yeah, yeah, I mentioned in the last episode that it's that it's I could tell that it's not the greatest game ever made.

Speaker: But despite all of that, there was a level of nostalgia and wistfulness that I was getting playing it.

Speaker: And that wore off as it as it tends to do.

Speaker: I kind of anticipated that would be the case.

Speaker: It is it's not that it's completely useless.

Speaker: It has a lot of very fun button mashy kind of action RPG stuff going for it.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: The storyline is interesting, but it just goes on and on and on.

Speaker: And the game.

Speaker: I just it feels too long for what it is.

Speaker: And we're repeating stuff like I'm just doing the same thing over and over and over.

Speaker: The levels aren't that interesting.

Speaker: You know, they'll give you a new little thing that you can do in that level specifically like you can, you know,

Speaker: You've got a little spell that you can use it to basically Spider-Man your way across the room.

Speaker: And that's really the only place you use it.

Speaker: Sure.

Speaker: It's just and by the time and another thing is outside of the action stuff, they try to give you like fun little side quests that are like storyline based side quests.

Speaker: But the problem is they literally just come down to them saying, hey, well, we need these three ingredients or something, which, yeah, fine.

Speaker: Sure.

Speaker: And you don't actually have to find them.

Speaker: You just look at your map and go where they are and talk to somebody and then come back.

Speaker: It's a giant waste of time.

Speaker: You're like, OK, great.

Speaker: I don't feel like I accomplished anything, really.

Speaker: So.

Speaker: I was I think after a while I was definitely playing it just for sunken cost fallacy shit.

Speaker: But I think I think I think after this weekend, I really gave it the old college try and was really digging into it.

Speaker: You could say still.

Speaker: Yeah, I think that's fair.

Speaker: I think I'm done now.

Speaker: Now that that's done, I did.

Speaker: I played a couple of demos as I want to do.

Speaker: I played the Rise of the Golden Idol demo.

Speaker: Ooh, great, great demo because it comes down.

Speaker: I don't know if this is the first chapter in the game or if it's just for the demo, but it comes down to like three puzzles that you put together for their.

Speaker: It's like it's like three levels that have their different pulse for anybody who's never played Rise of the Golden Idol.

Speaker: It's a it's like a mystery.

Speaker: adventure point and click kind of thing where you are collecting evidence from the scene before you and trying to use that to finagle out some kind of an explanation.

Speaker: And so you've got three of those.

Speaker: And then those three, you at the end of that chapter have to all the shit you learn from those three put together a theory on what the fuck happened.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Over.

Speaker: And it's super fun.

Speaker: It is a really.

Speaker: It's just goddamn like they gave it.

Speaker: They're giving that away for free.

Speaker: And it's it's it'll if you're interested in those kind of puzzle games, it'll scratch the hell out of that itch.

Speaker: It's really good.

Speaker: What is it?

Speaker: When's it due to come out?

Speaker: It just says I don't think I don't think they've announced it yet.

Speaker: If you check the discussion boards filled with people being like, oh, my God, when is this coming out?

Speaker: For the love of God, tell us what is coming out.

Speaker: So I don't think they've said- Because it's like a- It looks like it's a more- It's like a present day setting versus- Yeah.

Speaker: Case of the Golden Idol, which was set in like the 1600s.

Speaker: Right, right.

Speaker: It's definitely has that.

Speaker: I think the illustrations, they're a little smoother.

Speaker: I wrote down a note here.

Speaker: They're less horrifying than the first game.

Speaker: The first game, the art style is fucking horrifying.

Speaker: There's something so.

Speaker: It looks like it's the same art style, but a little bit more refined.

Speaker: just a little more refined.

Speaker: And I don't know if I like it better as a result, because there was something kind of spooky and weird about that first art set, but it's still a very good art design.

Speaker: The puzzles are challenging without making you want to scream at the top of your lungs, which I'm big on.

Speaker: I'm just not, I'm not a puzzle guy who enjoys punishing himself too hard.

Speaker: I just want to enjoy it and have a good time and feel vaguely clever.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Not even like fully clever.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Um, it, uh, I, I, I played it for how long did I play it for?

Speaker: How long did it?

Speaker: Yeah, I got I got an hour and 15 minutes out of it.

Speaker: It's not bad for a demo.

Speaker: That's pretty good for a demo.

Speaker: Yeah, it was it was very enjoyable.

Speaker: And and by the end of it, I got that old feeling of like, oh, shit, I'm going to totally buy this when it comes out.

Speaker: I guess I I had forgotten how much, you know, it's been a while since I played the other one and the first one.

Speaker: And you kind of forget.

Speaker: You're like, oh, OK, that I remember having fun, but whatever.

Speaker: And it's it just it's the perfect

Speaker: kind of amuse-bouche for like, oh, right.

Speaker: I liked this game a lot.

Speaker: So really good stuff.

Speaker: And frankly, even if you have no intention of buying the game itself, it is like it's a solid little demo.

Speaker: So it's worth playing just for that.

Speaker: Nice.

Speaker: After that, I played the demo for Epic Mickey.

Speaker: The rebrushed remaster because this is this has been basically we live in an age where at this point I'm getting remasters of a bunch of games that I never got a chance to play when they first came out.

Speaker: It's what a time to be alive.

Speaker: It's glorious.

Speaker: What a time to be alive.

Speaker: It's beautiful.

Speaker: The remasters were remastering things I never knew were even released in the first place.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: And it's so it's for anyone that hasn't played it.

Speaker: It's a platformer Disney game.

Speaker: Mickey is the silent protagonist.

Speaker: You know, he's he's Link.

Speaker: He doesn't say anything the entire time.

Speaker: And you are in this world that was created by like a wizard when he spills his ink

Speaker: on the Disney map, basically.

Speaker: So you go in there and the main play style thing is, you know, you've got regular jumping platforming stuff, but you have access to paint and you have access to paint thinner.

Speaker: And there are different scenic pieces that, depending on the state they're in, you can either remove them to be able to go behind them or find something.

Speaker: Oh, that's awesome.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Or you can use the paint to put them in place so you can hop on them and hop to the next one.

Speaker: Very, very clever.

Speaker: I'm really enjoying it.

Speaker: Some some solid little combat.

Speaker: It was not a not a long demo.

Speaker: I think it was just long enough.

Speaker: It gives you a good taste for it.

Speaker: It looks great.

Speaker: It's real pretty.

Speaker: And I enjoyed it until I started to consider because you can use the thinner to fight off enemies and stuff, which makes sense because they're paint.

Speaker: And then I realized, am I using dip?

Speaker: from who framed Roger Rabbit to kill these guys?

Speaker: Yes.

Speaker: Yes, I am.

Speaker: And a chill ran down my spine as that occurred to me.

Speaker: I was like, oh, this is way darker than Epic Mickey was just a way of saying this is fucked up, dude.

Speaker: Uh...

Speaker: So I liked I was like, well, this is interesting.

Speaker: I remember being kind of intrigued.

Speaker: I'll play the demo.

Speaker: I really liked it.

Speaker: That was a it was a fun experience.

Speaker: So that one is worth taking a look at, too.

Speaker: I need to watch Who Framed Garage Rabbit.

Speaker: again oh man fucking fucking it holds up so good i mean you got christopher lloyd at the height of his powers as judge doom oh yes yes just the scene where he is walking around the bar and yeah he's just going shave and the haircuts oh i mean god damn he's good

Speaker: And it comes down to being, I mean, the thing for anyone who hasn't watched that movie recently, it's like a top 10 noir movie.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Like it might be like in the top 10 of best film noirs.

Speaker: It's a, cause it's, it's a cartoon.

Speaker: That's the, it's, it's cartoon land.

Speaker: It's like, it's a cartoon.

Speaker: It's a comedy, but also a pretty dang good noir mystery.

Speaker: Yes, a really good one with all the femme fatales and the twists and all that, all that shit.

Speaker: It's really good.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I think I think I'd like to watch that again, too.

Speaker: That's a solid movie.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I'm sure that to Camilla.

Speaker: I'm not sure I've ever showed it to her.

Speaker: Oh, God.

Speaker: That's so good.

Speaker: But that's me.

Speaker: That's that's what I've been playing.

Speaker: Kevin, what about you?

Speaker: What are you playing?

Speaker: OK, so I have been playing UFO 50.

Speaker: Oh, fucking.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Which is, all right.

Speaker: So there's 50 games in here and there's so many to talk about.

Speaker: So it basically like fills out your, what are you playing for like the rest of the year?

Speaker: Sure.

Speaker: So I've like, so whenever you start a game for the first time, it's called dusting it off.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So you dust it off your your because when you see them for the first time on the screen, all the like cartridges or discs or whatever, they're like grayed out and they have like cobwebs over them.

Speaker: So.

Speaker: Oh, OK.

Speaker: So it's like a UI kind of thing.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So you actually select to play it like the desk gets it like gets blown off.

Speaker: What a nice touch.

Speaker: That's really cool.

Speaker: And then the game fires up and the games are, they're all, you know, cute and clever, but I've cycled through a bunch of them just like to try them out little bits and pieces.

Speaker: So like I've tested off like 25 of them, but some of them it's like,

Speaker: I put in a few minutes, got the gist, and be like, okay, all right, I'm moving on to the next one.

Speaker: There's been a couple that have stopped me, and I'm just going to talk about one tonight.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Because I think it's worth like sitting with, because it's the first one I beat.

Speaker: It's a game called Knight Manor.

Speaker: And it is basically a deja vu or a shadow keep.

Speaker: One of those style of style games.

Speaker: It's a first person point and click.

Speaker: where you play a character who had just been leaving a party.

Speaker: You get into a car accident.

Speaker: You wake up in this creepy house, and you have to walk through the house and figure out what's going on.

Speaker: And basically, there's a...

Speaker: Mr. X type thing to it.

Speaker: So it's in the style of a game from 1988.

Speaker: Very much deja vu or what have you.

Speaker: But it...

Speaker: There's a lot of quality of life improvements.

Speaker: It's like, okay, it moves faster and what have you.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So as you're going through the first floor, you get into the kitchen and there's this guy just standing in the corner of the kitchen, like facing away from you.

Speaker: but as soon as you go there's like a knife standing sitting on the table as soon as you go to grab the knife he turns around and he starts chasing like he has his his like axe he has an axe up right he's gonna attack you with an axe or cleaver i believe it is um and suddenly your cursor uh instead of being like smooth movement starts shaking

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: That's a fun idea.

Speaker: You have to like choose where to go.

Speaker: So like you have to basically run away from him and you get to a point where in one of the rooms you'll be able to hide like some rooms will have curtains and you can hide behind the curtains.

Speaker: And then it turns into a mini game where you have to like

Speaker: the cursor moves back and forth and you have to press the button when it's in like the green zone, right?

Speaker: So we'll go, you know, and it goes back and it keeps like this green zone gets smaller and the cursor moves faster each time.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And three failures, he finds you.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: So if he finds you, you die and then you wake up back in the room and it says that must have been a bad dream and you carry on.

Speaker: Each time that he finds you though, it takes out one of the, actually sometimes I think it does it regardless.

Speaker: So

Speaker: there'll be a room with four curtains.

Speaker: That means you can hide in that room four times because each time you hide in that room, after you leave and come back, one of the curtains will just be, have been ripped down.

Speaker: Okay, yeah.

Speaker: So like the places where you can hide are reduced over time.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's a really cool story, like little horror story built into it because you can find journal entries as you're going through.

Speaker: And it's not just it's neat with the I'm not I can't remember which of the devs did this game, but it's neat what they did with it because the journal entries not only give you background as to what happened in this house, but it also gives you

Speaker: uh hints occasionally about where certain items are or or what items like how to solve certain puzzles or or what have you um so uh i was playing it took me like you know maybe two or three hours to play through and get the first ending uh of the game which is just escaping just like getting into a car and then it was like another couple hours beyond that

Speaker: to be like, oh, there's a lot more to figure out basically.

Speaker: Jesus Christ.

Speaker: Because I know I didn't unlock a couple doors.

Speaker: So it's like, I don't know, four or five hours maybe total.

Speaker: And that's just one of the 50 games on there.

Speaker: That's just one of the 50 games.

Speaker: Now there's a lot of games in there which are just like arcade games.

Speaker: So it's basically you play them as long as you're having fun.

Speaker: You know, you set the scores.

Speaker: They have multiplayer components so you can play against other people online through Steam or what have you.

Speaker: So you can have those two player two player components, a few of the games.

Speaker: So there's and you as you cycle through the UFO 50 UI, you can it will just be like the base UI is like chronological order.

Speaker: So you have the first game ever like first game released to the last game released.

Speaker: So it's like 19.

Speaker: This game is from 1982.

Speaker: They're all from 2014 or 2024.

Speaker: It's right.

Speaker: But in this alternate universe within the universe within the game, you know, this first one, I think it's called Barbuda is the first game where it's 1982.

Speaker: And then there's one called Cyber Owls.

Speaker: which is 1989.

Speaker: And Barbuda is fascinating.

Speaker: I need to get back to it.

Speaker: I know some people have said, oh man, this game is terrible.

Speaker: And to me, it's like, oh, it feels like home.

Speaker: It's got a little bit of jank.

Speaker: It's like an adventure game.

Speaker: It's pretty punishing, pretty unforgiving as you're kind of like fighting your way through like the monsters.

Speaker: And it's like, oh, there's like,

Speaker: It will be like you step on a brick and like the ceiling falls down on you.

Speaker: And there's like, and be like, oh, okay, I guess I did see that that brick was slightly different than all the other ones.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: Cyber Owls is hilarious because it is...

Speaker: It reminds me of one of the Batman side scrolling beat-em-up games.

Speaker: And it's pretty fascinating because when you have a character and you're fighting through a level,

Speaker: and I've only played it a little bit.

Speaker: Fighting through a level and you lose, the character gets killed or whatever.

Speaker: The character isn't killed off, because you have choice of like four cyber owls from this group to play as.

Speaker: The character isn't killed off, they just get captured.

Speaker: And then there's another like game mode where you have to break into the enemy's base and recapture the person who was lost.

Speaker: And that's the only way you can play that level because each character is assigned a certain level.

Speaker: So it's all, I don't know, UFO 50.

Speaker: We're going to have a lot of thoughts about UFO 50 over the coming weeks.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: There's games that are like, well, this is very inspired by this.

Speaker: This is very inspired by this thing that I played as a kid.

Speaker: And then there are some that are just like, oh,

Speaker: The current one that I'm really diving into that I'll talk about probably next week is called Valbrace.

Speaker: And it is a first person dungeon crawl game.

Speaker: But the combat is it's a first person dungeon crawl meets...

Speaker: punch out because you move your character from side to side.

Speaker: He has stamina and it's basically like when you're hitting like orcs or whatever, they have like the look on their face of like a punch out boxer and it's like, oh, oh, oh, oh.

Speaker: Oh, that's some clever shit.

Speaker: Oh, wow.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: This is going to have to be, this is going to have to be one.

Speaker: Yeah, you're going to have to wish list that.

Speaker: That's on there.

Speaker: That looks great.

Speaker: That looks really great.

Speaker: So I obtained my first cherry disc, which I think I'm not sure what that means.

Speaker: I think that's like...

Speaker: completing a game or something.

Speaker: Probably something like that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But yeah, that's that's that's what I've been playing is UFO 50.

Speaker: Not for everybody.

Speaker: I'll say it.

Speaker: I'll say this is probably not for everybody.

Speaker: But if you have

Speaker: Two things.

Speaker: If you have a nostalgia for a certain era of games, but are often put off by the way people try to recapture that nostalgia, this is something that I truly appreciate because it doesn't make any, uh,

Speaker: excuses for the difficulty of the era, but it also refines it with quality of life improvements.

Speaker: It's not just like, it's not like a superficial thing where a lot of pixel art games back in the day, we're just trying to like say, Oh, it's like, wait, it's like super Nintendo.

Speaker: Like it's a little, it's, it's a little bit deeper.

Speaker: It feels a little bit more like a thorough acknowledgement of that era.

Speaker: So that's kind of... So if you're from that era, I think you'll get that kind of appreciation out of it.

Speaker: But also, if you're just into these indie game devs, this team that Derek Yu and a bunch of other people collaborated together to create, Derek Yu being the creator of Spelunky, if you're interested in seeing what they...

Speaker: could would do given the opportunity to create 50 games um like in this kind of within these kind of guardrails i think it's if if you're into that kind of stuff it's worth checking out nice um so you know ufo 50 tell your friends very very fun that looks so good um

Speaker: So that will be tonight's episode.

Speaker: If you want to go ahead and follow us on Twitter, on Instagram.

Speaker: We have a tick tock where we don't have much there, but we probably should start posting on there.

Speaker: We could probably get on there.

Speaker: We could probably do some stuff on there.

Speaker: And YouTube, please subscribe to our YouTube.

Speaker: We're at 312 subscribers as of recording of this episode.

Speaker: We're trying to get to 500.

Speaker: So if you're listening to us and you're usually a Spotify person, take the time to wander over to YouTube and just click that subscribe button.

Speaker: Just juice our numbers a little bit, you know?

Speaker: Yeah, come on.

Speaker: Juice them up.

Speaker: Come on.

Speaker: That'll do it for tonight's episode.

Speaker: Thank you so much for listening and have a good evening.

Speaker: Bye.

Final Fantasy 2: Chocobo Drift

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